Original subtitles

Ha,

ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,

ha.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha,

ha, ha, ha, ha.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha,

ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha,

ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha,

I've already had one prepared.

But another will double our fun.

You've

made

a very nice selection, Father.

Hic est enum calix sanguinis satana e appendatur provobis et tumultis

in augmentum peccatorum acipe et vivit.

Archie pay yes, baby

Archie pay

Enough. Enough.

No matter how many centuries go by, I always enjoy seeing them punished for

their sin.

Now, Devlin, my son, what surprise have you prepared for this one?

Ah, no, Pops.

This one's mine.

What are you doing?

Making a salad. What does it look like I'm doing?

Satan, I am pleased to inform you that we are shorting your next shipment, an

additional 17 ,693 souls.

After carefully reviewing their cases, we found some good in them all.

Some good?

The document is this that says there is good on Earth.

Things may be getting out of hand out there.

I need a first -hand report.

You go up And

while you're there do your best to

guarantee the corruption of mankind Let no man escape your attention and above

all

Boy, you sure look beat.

I am.

Rehearsals ran almost an hour over today.

Faggot choreographer wanted everything.

Absolutely perfect, darlings.

God,

I look as bad as I feel.

Before you slash your wrists, would you come and wash my back?

You better hold your nose, though.

You smell like a stevedore. I've been sweating so much all day.

If you're a stevedore, I wouldn't be wasting all this time in the tub.

Horny darling.

You'd better believe it.

I spent the night last night with Saul Jacob, that new producer over at

Columbia. I had to work for almost two hours before he could even get it up.

Then he jumps on like a walrus and performs like a worn -out ball player.

Three strokes and he's out.

I'll buy you a dildo for Christmas.

If you're real good, I may let you borrow it.

If I'm good, I'll need it.

hard enough.

God knows he's well hung.

But he's still a kid.

Just doesn't know what to do with what he's got.

Want me to show him for you?

There's always one of your greatest virtues, sweetheart.

Self -sacrifice.

You forgot humility.

Well, I'll say one thing for Steve.

Sure is a tit man.

Squeeze this so damn hard I could take either one to a fortune teller and have

his palm read.

Where in hell did you come from?

The lower level.

Donna?

One of your nutty friends is here.

What is it is a better question?

I'm a devil.

I'll bet you are.

You don't believe me? Watch.

That's a hell of a trick.

How'd you do that?

Hey, what's going on out there?

You tell me.

Oh, hell, I'll be out in a minute.

Okay, Buster, that's enough games.

What's your story?

Story?

What do you want?

I want you to help me prove that the earth is corrupt and all men are sinful.

Oh, you came to the right place, honey.

You're sinful?

The most. The most.

It's been a little long, John.

Oh.

Connie, what are you doing?

Oh, I'm coming.

I'm coming.

I've never been bald like that before I've had

over 2 ,000 years of practice

Hey, Connie?

Connie, what is going on here?

Don't ask.

Just don't ask.

Oh.

Well, is there room for one more?

Oh, there's always room for one more.

You're my kind of room.

Didn't you leave anything for me?

Well, it was there last time I saw it.

I think you left it somewhere.

Oh, that's starting to look nice.

Get lost.

You know what, brother?

If you ask me this time, you've outdone yourself.

And also, if you were to ask me, I would say, that's me, your brother, that

these creatures are corrupting you. You're not corrupting them.

But what a way to go.

If you're not going to get the hell out of here, you might as well join us.

Oh, thanks, brother.

Anytime.

Hey, I thought I heard somebody come in.

New blood, huh?

Yeah, what do you want?

No, what do you want? What do you want?

Just like I said, you.

Ah, I'm straight.

Good. Brother.

You're really contemptible.

And you'll love it. No, no, no. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

What are you doing? Try it once.

Try it once.

What is it?

Oh,

that?

Oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Oh.

Brother.

Oh.

Oh. Oh.

Oh, I like that.

Brother, why didn't you tell me?

That's good.

Oh, Elliot.

The Earth is corrupt!

It's corrupt!

It's corrupt!

It's so...

What do you think of this?

Just

as

I thought.

Can't you even do a simple materialization without bucking up?

My back.

This one's supposed to be a virgin.

Ooh.

Sorry, I lost my head.

He lost his head.

Hey, you know what, brother?

I don't think you're too cool with virgins, man. As a matter of fact, you

that's sort of my bag, so why don't you split?

Just like that.

Hey, and what I think you need is

a little drink.

Now... I don't drink.

Well, you don't, you see, it's not like you have to drink like regular drinking,

because what I got is something that you're really, really, really, really

to enjoy.

I don't like drinks at all. Now, don't be afraid, sweet thing.

Oh, come on now.

I'm going to make you.

Drink. That you'll never forget.

You like that, huh?

Huh?

you

Like that?

Take a little. What am I supposed to do with it?

Oh, just take a little. A little sip.

Go on.

Don't be afraid.

Wow, what is that stuff?

Makes me feel all tingly.

Take a little more.

Sure.

Positive.

How is it?

Still makes me feel real funny.

Yeah? Oh, so weird.

Yeah?

Here, have some more.

Come on. One more little sip. This should do it.

Wow.

What kind of recipe is that?

Actually, I'll be very honest with you. It's something my father cooked up.

He's a father.

Are

you

sure you're a virgin?

Are you sure you're not?

Here,

what's happening?

What's it do?

Earthling. Earth thing.

Earth being. Meat.

Oh.

Horny.

oh no

I'm glad my first lover was a devil.

I think I know.

Yep.

Hi, brother.

I fucked up. As usual.

This time I'm not wasting any time.

I have your back.

You know who that is, right?

He sounds mad, too. Why don't you go down this time?

Not me.

Okay, you make it with her. I'll go down and try and patch it up with the old

man.

Oh, hey.

By the way, who are you?

I'm the devil far out come back here

one

Here, let me see what a devil's horn looks like.

All right.

All right.

you'll go to hell.

I know how to do that pretty well.

For a mortal.

I think I'm getting the hang of it.

What

the

hell is going on up there?

And where's your brother?

He's getting the hang of it.

Well, instead of you corrupting them, they've been corrupting you.

Father, you can't believe what it's like.

It's hotter up there than it is down here. Oh, I don't want to hear it

I've heard enough of your foolishness.

Go back up there and tell your brother to get his ass down here.

Here he is now, and he brought his ass with him.

Nice, huh?

Well, that wasn't quite what I had in mind.

Look, it ain't easy enough.

Father wants to talk to you.

Go to hell, brother.

Look, brother, listen to me.

The old man's watching you. If we play it right, we can get him laid too so he

doesn't give us such a hard time.

Yeah? Well, get him another one. I want this one for myself.

No sooner said than done.

Yes,

Mr. Cooper. Your order has been filled.

And you can expect delivery by tomorrow.

Uh -huh.

Bye -bye now.

I love it! I love it! More!

More!

I must be overworked.

No, you're not overworked. But you do have a problem.

I have a problem?

You have a problem.

Oops, sorry.

That takes care of my problem. Now back to yours.

You've never reached the climax.

How do you know?

We make it our business to know.

Do you like me to help you?

Do you think you can?

Yeah, why not? I mean, I've tried everything.

Arab style?

Arab style.

Oh, I love this aerosol.

Wow, it's fantastic.

Okay.

Hang on, honey. We're going to hell.

Oh, boy.

Oh, God.

I'm sorry.

I didn't.

How was that?

I want to tell you, Zelda, it's hard being a devil.

Promise me that I can be part of your plan to corrupt all mankind.

You're part of it, baby. You're part of it.

I'm not sure who's been corrupting whom around here.

It looks like a cooperative effort to me.

Everyone's in the act.

You agree that the world is corrupt, Father.

We've proved it, haven't we?

Come here a minute.

Why don't you try one?

Look at this one, Father.

The darkness of her eyes, the roundness of her breasts.

No, no, no, no, no.

Hey, sweetie, come here a minute.

Huh? Huh?

A lot can be said for this, Father.

Huh? Huh?

I'll put that one on the altar.

In the name of the great power of Babylon, may my lust be fulfilled.

My loins are aflame, but my rod is athrub.

May my outward thought be marshaled into the motions with which I subdue this

flesh, which I desire.