Original subtitles

How it hanging?

Oh, hey. Hey, what's up? Is that Pete? Is Pete back?

Is it Pete?

No, Jay, it's just Thor.

Just.

Who would not love that?

Jay's a little anxious. He's waiting on some big news.

Last week, a critic from the Hudson Valley Gazette came to review the

restaurant. A couple of us ghosts sussed it out when we overheard him talking on

his cell phone in the parking lot when he was leaving.

Anyway, we sent Pete to the Gazette offices to spy on the reviewer and find

in advance if it's a good review or a bad review.

You know what? I don't even care.

Reviews aren't important. What matters is whether or not I'm proud of the food,

which I am, so I think we just tell Pete to call this whole thing off.

Hey, gang.

Hey, peace back.

What did he say? Did he like it? Am I ruined? Am I a star, babe? Come on here,

I'm drowning.

He hasn't said anything yet. Well, let the man speak.

Jeez. Okay, I'll get right to it.

It's a rave. The critic loved Jay's restaurant.

He loved it, babe.

Oh, what a relief.

This is huge.

Man, it feels good to spread joy.

This must be what Johnny Appleseed felt like.

You get an apple tree. You get an apple tree. You get an apple tree. Where is

this going, babe?

I don't know. Sometimes it just feels good to make noise.

It was pretty fun.

See? He gets it.

Who's this guy?

That's Chris, the dinosaur -loving stripper that Sam previously hired to

in front of an empty chair at Isaac's bachelor party.

No, I know. I meant this guy.

I'm Isaac.

Oh, right on.

Cool pants.

Excited to be back, Sam.

Now, will I be performing for an empty chair while you watch again?

That wasn't for me. That was... Well, you see, the reason... There's really no

good explanation.

You'll be performing for a bachelorette party full of living humans.

I mean, people.

Smooth. Well, then let's talk price, dear. There's the simple, here's your

pizza, extra sausage package.

That sounds pretty good.

Then you've got your farmer with the hose, your plumber with the pipe, and

the big boy, our premium package, known as...

It's raining men.

Yes, please. Samantha, can you request that he reprise his erotic Dilophosaurus

clicking routine?

That's a crowd pleaser.

Uh -uh. This is not your party. This is my great -grandniece's bachelorette

party, and she's not into dinosaurs because she's an adult. So just back

Oh, perfect timing.

Here comes the bride -to -be.

Alicia, this is Chris. We're discussing his package.

Chris, great to meet you.

Sorry, I don't want to be rude, but it's bad luck for the bride to see the

stripper before the bachelorette party.

Oh, that's not true. Carol saw her stripper before the... Oh, my God.

Oh, sorry. I wasn't aware of that particular tradition.

Oh, yeah.

At least I have my pants on. Otherwise, the whole weekend would be cursed.

Alicia, I will see you tomorrow night, and who knows?

It may just be raining men.

Hallelujah.

Thank you.

So, are you excited for the big weekend?

Very. There's a rumor CCR is going to do a secret set.

I am.

Oh, it's so amazing to be here.

And I know it sounds woo -woo, but I really can feel Alberta's presence.

I'm right here, sweetie.

Ask about the guy, Sam.

Tell me about your fiancé.

His name's Derek?

Yeah, he's pretty great.

We actually met on the subway. And it's really weird, because the night before I

had a dream I was going to meet someone on the subway.

And there he was.

He stood up to give me his seat.

He sounds like a gentleman. Oh, he goes to church. He's nice to his mom.

Oh, loving all of this.

Tell me, what does he do for work?

He's a musician? Mm -mm. Hell no. Like, professionally?

Yeah. He's a guitarist. Tell her to walk away, Sam. Being with a musician is

signing up for a lifetime of heartache.

I'm very happy for you. I can confirm.

Musicians are no bueno. Speaking as an oboist, the bad boys of the woodwind

section. Two reeds, twice the trouble.

You see anything?

Give me a sec. Very dangerous.

That's how Sylvia Plath killed herself.

TV was on PBS, and Trevor and I had to change it.

Looks like it's just a pilot light.

I'll take care of it. Oh, by the way, the Hudson Valley Gazette is publishing

review of Mahesh, and a little birdie told me it's a rave.

Tweet, tweet. I'm a little birdie. Dude, that's amazing.

I say we celebrate with some mortadella. You know that stuff's like $20 a pound,

right? Yeah, that's why I don't have it in my house.

Not to gloat, but I may have played a hand in that review, or more accurately,

played a finger in it.

Ugh, whatever you're talking about, you did not need to say it like that.

Once we figured out that that guy was a critic, I used my power to pose as an

investor and sent him a little cashola in exchange for a good review.

What? Why would you do that?

Because I owe Jay.

I would have lost my finance job if he hadn't pretended to be me. But Jay

wouldn't want to get a good review that way. It's a win -win. Jay gets what he

wants, and his hands are clean.

For she would have died with clean hands, but alas, Thor, he done you right

before lightning strike.

Trevor, I think what you did was wrong, and we need to tell Sam.

Okay, I will not be lectured to by a boy scout like I'm some kind of sleazeball.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go spy on this Bachelorette party and see

what kind of talent we're working with.

Don't.

To our girl, Alicia.

I would wish you the best, but you already settled for Derek.

So let's get drunk.

See, even they know Alicia can do way better than a musician.

Geez, what are you, the grandma in Coco?

Trust me, I know from experience.

Musicians only care about themselves and their music. When push comes to shove,

they'll leave you high and dry.

Well, I guess this is goodbye.

I'll count the minutes until I see you again.

I'll count the seconds.

I love you. And I love you.

And everything, my entire world.

And I can't imagine my future without you.

I never saw that man again.

I'm so sorry, Alberta.

Me too. But that doesn't mean that all musicians are bad.

I think what Tass is saying is that he's a virgin. And so his situation is way

worse than anything that happened with you in that time. That's not remotely

what I was saying.

Oh, okay.

Delivery for the most beautiful girl in the world.

Derek, oh, my God.

Yeah, this guy seems like he's the worst. Oh, sweetie, they're gorgeous.

you. I cannot wait to marry you.

Run, Alicia. Save yourself.

I'll go put these in some water. Go, go. I don't want to interrupt.

Have a fun weekend, but not too much fun.

All right. The flowers are kind of nice.

Hey.

You left your sweatshirt at my house.

What's this now?

Just bring it when you come over this week.

Alicia's out of town Wednesday and Thursday.

Are you down for a little night sugar?

Uh -oh. Well, hold on. Maybe there's an innocent explanation.

Aren't you worried Alicia's going to find out? We're getting pretty good at

keeping it a secret. Never mind. They're hooking up. All right. Thursday, then.

Thursday.

I knew it!

Derek's a low -down, dirty dog!

Yeah, this doesn't look good.

Oh, Seth, night sugar probably refers to sex, which is like a special hug that

adults share.

Please stop.

They're doing it, Sam.

Alicia's fiance is having a torrid affair with her maid of honor. I told

musicians are no good.

Even if that's true, I'm just not sure what you want me to do about it. Tell

Alicia, what's going on? Oh, do that thing you do where you butt in where

not wanted, but this time you actually want it. Just throwing this out there,

what if we bring back Creepy Todd? He and Alicia did connect, and he's

to cheat due to lack of opportunity.

Alberta, I just don't know how I can get involved. I mean, it's not like Alicia

and I are super tight friends.

It's true.

Sam hinted heavily that she would like to join them for brunch and was met with

stony silence and averted eyes.

It was sad. I think that was just because there weren't enough bagels.

Oh, Sam.

Alberta, I understand that you care deeply about Alicia, and I agree this is

horrible situation, but I just don't feel comfortable getting in the middle

things. I'm sorry.

Fine. If Sam won't get involved, then we'll have to tell Alicia ourselves.

I agree. And I know exactly how to get her the message, loud and clear.

Skywriting.

No, I'm going to go into her dreams and tell her.

Yes, you can skywrite in her dreams.

Yep, that is what I meant.

Oh, I just got an email from the critic. He wants me to fact -check the review

before he posts it online.

I'm so nervous to read it.

Didn't you already hear that it's great?

Yeah, but there's a difference between, like, good food and ample parking,

great, and the tikka masala saved my marriage, great.

Oh, never try tikka masala, but I think Jay's sitting by a little too high.

Okay, here goes.

This is killing me. Jay deserves a great review, but Trevor tainted it. This

review has Trevor's paint all over it.

This is incredible.

In one sentence, he calls Mahesh a revelation and a triumph.

Holy crap, this restaurant might actually work.

There's nothing I love more than a joyful J, but not when it's based on a

Wait, what? Now that we have an exemplary Indian fusion restaurant, it

like the only thing missing from the Hudson Valley culinary scene is an

restaurant.

What's an upscale restaurant?

It's kind of like a Hooters, but even classier.

Huh, is that like an industry term I should know?

No. There's only one other person I've ever heard use it.

Ugh. I didn't mean for him to mention Brett's restaurant in the review. I was

separately riffing about great business ideas.

Okay, this isn't great, but apparently Trevor bribed the critic to give you a

good review.

What? Why would he do that?

I think he was trying to help you out because, you know, you were there for

with the whole work retreat thing.

Exactly. It was a hero move.

Like when I bribed the bouncer at Surf Lodge into letting in my cousin with a

weird eye. It was the best night of his summer.

Tell me.

He says it was a hero move.

Well, thanks a lot, Trevor.

You know, this review meant a lot to me, but now I'll never actually know if he

liked the food or if he really was mesmerized by the ambiance.

Well, there's no way he wasn't. I mean, the sconces are undeniable.

Are you in her dreams yet?

Shh, it takes a sec.

I think this is where it all began.

Next stop.

Marriedville. Hear that, honey? We're almost there.

Not so fast, this guy's not being true.

The real deal is Derek's cheating on you.

What?

About this marriage, you should be afraid. Because Derek is doing it with

your bridesmaids.

That is not a good song. Look, when you can enter people's dreams, then you can

criticize.

Sam, this is highly inappropriate.

You're breaking into a guest room in the middle of the night. I heard you

singing. Just stop it. Get out of her dreams.

Sam?

What time is it?

Um, 2 .18 a .m.

You asked for a wake -up call, right?

What? No.

Okay, is this officially snooze or are you hitting stop?

Can you please...

Jasmine, I gotta talk to you.

What's wrong?

No, Jasmine's the last person you should be talking to. She's the other woman. I

had a dream that Derek was cheating on me.

No.

Like you don't know a lady.

Oh, she's good.

Did the dream get into who he was cheating with?

She asked guiltily.

One of the bridesmaids.

Look, I know you put a lot of stock in dreams and stuff, but you have to know,

my brother loves you.

He's not a cheater.

Oh, Derek is her brother.

Oh, no.

I mean, good, but... Oh, no. I wouldn't believe you. I just don't know.

I mean, I was already thinking this whole thing was too good to be true.

Maybe it's a sign.

Maybe this marriage is a mistake.

Slow down.

You're spinning out. I gotta go think.

Hold on. Her brother?

What about all the night sugar talk?

What about night sugar? Don't tell me what happens in the latest episode. I

haven't seen it yet. Night sugar is a show?

It's a guilty pleasure. It concerns the family candy dynasty.

It's sort of like Succession meets Charlie and the Chocolate Factory,

everybody's hot.

So we ruined the woman's engagement because her fiancé was watching crappy

with his sister?

Oh, I can't believe this. What did that do?

At least Eric's not doing it with anyone.

Oh, Sass, doing it is another term for two adults sharing a special hug.

I hate this.

Alberta, just checking on you.

Hedy told me what happened.

You mean how I ruined Alicia's marriage before it even got started?

Ruined is strong.

Placed in jeopardy for gross misconduct.

I got this one, Hedy.

No, she's right.

I got carried away with this idea that musicians can't be trusted.

That's because you were hurt by a musician.

That's not exactly true.

Don't forgive me. I could never.

So you were the musician who hurt someone?

Yes. We were engaged.

But then I got caught up chasing my dreams, and I never looked back.

Well, you were so young, Alberta.

I broke a good man's heart, and I've never forgiven myself.

I've been carrying that guilt for a hundred years.

Things don't always work out as planned.

Well, regardless, I took that guilt and dumped it on Derek and Alicia.

And now, from beyond the grave, I've ruined another engagement.

Here's the good news.

You have four seasons of night sugar to catch up on.

I really envy her.

It's delectable.

Hey, thanks for meeting with me, Ron. I just wanted to apologize.

I think one of my investors got out a little over his skis. If he had spoken

me before reaching out to you, I would have told him not to offer you the

Right, your investor.

Look, if you're asking for the money back, I've already spent it on a pretty

spicy weekend with my girlfriend in the Poconos.

Poconos? That was Cabo money, at least.

Funny story. When I was alive, you know what we thought was on the other side of

the Poconos?

China. I don't want the money back. It's just that the bribe was a mistake.

I'm asking for a do -over review.

That's not really how we do things in the world of restaurant reviews.

Oh, of course. Ron is suddenly a fountain of integrity.

I don't want an unearned review.

I want you to write about your authentic experience, even if there's some things

you didn't like.

Fine.

I gotta say, in all my years of doing this, you're probably the most honest

I've ever accepted a bribe from.

That's middling praise, but praise.

But I just want you to know that I really do think you are onto something.

Hudson Valley truly could use an upscale restaurant.

Yes! See?

Thank you, Ron. And it should be called Mountains of the Valley.

Okay, we are investing in that.

Oh, come on, Alicia, and fall asleep already so Sass can go into your dreams

fix this.

And to ensure that tonight's drip tease goes off without a hitch. Not that

that's the most important concern right now. I just think it's very unlikely

that she's going to take a nap right after she finishes packing. It's just a

very weird thing to do. It could happen. Oh, is that a yarn? It kind of looks

like a yarn. I don't think so. She just downed a cold brew 20 minutes ago.

I know my ghost power must seem godlike compared to yours, but I don't stand a

chance against cold brew. But once she's all packed up, she's going to leave and

end her engagement, and it will all be my fault.

Really?

Nothing? No one's going to jump in with some encouragement.

I'll try.

Great summary, devastating in its accuracy.

I just don't know if he's cheating or not.

I wish there was some sort of sign.

Oh, should I get Trevor? Maybe he could text her or something. Oh, we don't have

time for that.

I got this.

What is that?

You can't ask for a sign and then be surprised by a sign.

Alberta?

Is that you?

This is incredible.

So, does this humming mean that he is cheating or not?

Seriously. Sort of on her for not asking a more clear question, but

nevertheless, here we are. Quick, hum a lullaby, and once she dozes off, then I

can tag in. I told you.

I got this.

Oh, what is this? I recognize this.

I know the one I love.

I'm through with flirting.

It's you that I'm thinking of.

It misbehaving.

So he's not cheating.

Oh, thanks, Alberta.

And it's up.

I don't stay out late.

Don't get a go.

I'm home.

What are we doing out here, Samantha? The latest episode of Night Sugar starts

in five minutes.

We've got to find out who pushed Dimitri into that vat of caramel.

I think you'll be very happy with what I have planned.

Oh, and Alberta, I did some digging and I found Walter's obituary. Oh, no. Did

he die of heartbreak when he realized I wasn't coming back?

Walter Boyd, 84, died peacefully in his home surrounded by loved ones. Oh,

that's... Nice. He lived to be 84. What was he, a sorcerer? He is survived by

five children, 16 grandchildren, and his loving wife, Othiola. Only one wife?

That's so sad.

See, Alberta, he went on to have a pretty happy life.

Wait a minute.

Othiola Buford? That was my best friend. Oh, Walter, you snake.

But good for him.

Is the humidity rising?

What? Yep, the barometer's getting low.

Okay, what the hell are you talking about, Sam?

I'm talking about that.

Is that a bird?

It's a plane.

No, it's a stripper.

You should hire that stripper to parachute into my bachelorette party.

did. He said it's called the It's Raining Men package.

He's kidding.

close. Should we open his chute? I think that he's delaying it for dramatic

effect. Uh, he's cutting it kind of close, isn't he?

Oh, my God.

Guys, the review's up.

What does it say, chef?

Innovative, surprising in all the best ways, a game changer.

He barely changed a word. He loved it.

See? It all works out.

You guys see that? That was gnarly.

Can't believe I survived.

Dude, you did it.

Oh.

Bugger.

That makes sense.

Yeah.