All language subtitles for Ghosts 04x14 Alexander Hamilton and the Ruffle Kerfuffle [2025-02-27 20-31] uswcbs HQ

You can go home, Mike. I'll finish
closing up.

Fortunately, there's not much to do
since there were barely any customers

tonight. Sure, things have slowed down a
little since the restaurant opened, and

maybe they did get some bad press from
briefly becoming the Hudson Valley's top

mafia hangout, but on the bright side...

Oh, no.

Pete can't find a bright side.

This is bad.

I don't get it.

I'm serving great food. Meanwhile,
Connor's place is packed every night.

just did a write -up on him in New York
Magazine. Connor is this guy Jay hates

from culinary school.

I bet he hired a publicist.

What a douche.

Jay, you're a great chef. You just need
to focus on you.

Not as I hate to admit it, I agree with
Samantha.

The truth is, my own life is a tragic
tale about how an obsession with a

can derail one's own promising career.

I'm, of course, referring to my infamous
rivalry with Alexander Hamilton.

Can I be honest, Isaac? I've never
really understood what Hamilton actually

to you. Weren't you just kind of jealous
of him? I've never shared this with you

because I was embarrassed, but that
man...

ruined my chance to become someone
history remembers.

It is a painful story to tell.

But since it might help, Jay, I'm
willing to share it. Ooh, dinner and a

like it. Buckle up.

For tonight, I shall tell you the tale
of why I hate Alexander Hamilton.

The year is 1776.

It is?

No, in the story.

Oh. Our tale begins at a men's
haberdashery where I'd gone to pick up a

an ornamental but obligatory garment I
needed for an important event I was to

attend that evening.

Earlier in the week, I had received an
invitation from my mentor, John Jay, to

attend a dinner party at his Manhattan
estate, but this was to be no regular

soiree.

Excuse me. I'll be with you shortly.

God, this infernal weight.

Give me service or give me death.

Oh, my God.

Beatrice, look.

It's Alexander Hamilton. We met at James
Madison's Easter party and had the most

thrilling exchange of ideas.

Alexander, hello.

Yeah, I've already been helped. Oh, no,
no, no, no. It's me.

It's me.

Isaac Higgintoot.

We met at James Madison's Easter party.

Right. Of course.

You were the talk of the event. Oh,
really?

Yes! Yes, you ate that rotten pork pie
and yacked in his carriage.

He couldn't get the scent out. It was a
total write -off.

Well, um, I will see you at dinner
tonight?

Oh, yeah, I don't think so. No, I'm
going to John Jay's house to discuss a

important matter.

Yes, I will be there, too.

Really?

Oh, I kind of assumed it was an
exclusive.

It is an exclusive event.

Huh.

You sure you're not thinking about
Albert Jay's party? I heard he's hosting

chili dump.

Maybe... Is that... Is that the party
maybe you're attending?

No. John Jay's. To discuss the
Declaration of Independence.

Hmm. Oh.

Excellent. Well, you shall be the voice
of the common man.

I'll see you there.

Now... How can I help you? Yes, Isaac
Higgins, too, picking up my shirt

Unfortunately, we're all out. What?

I reserved mine two weeks ago.

Well, it's not here.

It's possible that someone else picked
it up. But it was under my name.

Is there one at another store? I doubt
it. It's sort of peak ruffle season.

I could order one in. It would take at
least a week. But I'm going to John

house tonight.

I heard that was an exclusive event.

It is.

Tune in next week for an ice -cold
elimination on He's Getting Hot.

You don't believe Victoria P.

sleep with Austin, then send him home
same night.

Victoria P. is going to hell.

I'm back.

Oh, my God. Not again.

Elias, what are you doing here?

Come now, Henrietta. That's no way to
greet your husband.

Greet you?

visited you tried to drag peter to hell
never mind all that i come to you today

with an opportunity we're not interested
in anything you have to say now now

hear me out you see my boss was very
impressed that i returned to hell

voluntarily there's not a lot of that
what with all the flaying and the

and the bad wi -fi so now i am on the
management track and i am one soul shy

of a big promotion oh and you expect One
of us to volunteer to give you our

soul? I do. If you accept my offer and
commit your soul to hell, you will join

me on the management track.

Instead of having your toenails pried
off daily, well, you could be doing the

prying or supervising the prying. You
wouldn't even have to return with me

We could work out a time, even years
from now, that your cushy sentence could

begin. But refuse my deal and risk an
eternity of pain.

And suffering.

Elias, it's a no from us. The ones you
go try to peddle your nonsense on some

other ghosts.

Oh, I specifically came to talk to you
for. You see, we've kind of had our eyes

on you.

Well, I don't like that.

I'm going to be fine.

I'll have you know, when I was alive, I
gave a lot of money to charity.

Charity was a dancer, of course.

One last thing. This offer expires at
midnight. So, the only question is...

Are you willing to roll the dice?

Jay, pay attention.

I can't hear or see him.

Anyway, as I was saying, that evening I
journeyed to John Jay's house eager for

the opportunity that lay before me, but
terrified by how my ruffled chest would

be received.

I get it. Neckwear was very important to
us pine cone troopers.

Although, given the second chance, I
would have gone with Kevlar and not your

standard cotton neckerchief.

So what happened when you got to John
Jay's house? We're still not at John

house. As I was saying, I entered the
residence hoping my peers would focus

on my ideas than my garments.

That hope was quickly dashed.

What the hell is wrong with you, Isaac?

I can see the whole naked bib of your
shirt. It's disgusting.

It wasn't my fault. There was a mix -up
at the shop, and then it's like trying

to find it last -minute ruffle at
Manhattan in March.

I mean, while I'm at it, why don't I
just look for the Northwest Passage?

You are my protege, Isaac. When I
invited you to this dinner, I was

neck out for you, and you didn't have
the decency to decorate yours for me?

who's here.

Thomas Jefferson, Ben Franklin, Sam
Adams.

I will not have you embarrass me in my
own house.

I don't know what to say.

If you want me to go, I'll go.

I think I have a spare.

It's not quite the current style, but
it'll suffice.

Come with me.

nice of him, so everything worked out.
Yes, Samantha.

I'm telling you the story because
everything worked out.

Let's just say that this particular
ruffle turned out to be worse than no

at all.

My God, Higgintooth, what are you
wearing? It's a loner.

I know it's not the delicate, finely
pleated ruffle that's currently all the

rage. It looks as though you're being
attacked by a swan. It's enormous.

It's a wonder you're not toppling over.

I mean, you're more top -heavy than
Catherine the Great.

You seen paintings of her? Oh, it's not.

Are you kidding?

I can't get enough of them.

You know me, I love looking at a nice
set of plump...

duckies. But what I love even more is
the fine tailoring at Henry's

haberdashery, which is why I had
reserved my ruffle there. I'm talking a

normal size, modest even, with a fine
hand -sewn center pleat.

Oh, sort of like Hamilton's.

Alexander, you made it. Happy to be
here.

There he was, Alexander Hamilton, and he
was wearing my ruffle.

Did you just gasp at your own reveal?

I did.

I'm so confused. How did you even know
it was your ruffle? Are you serious? I

ran into him at the haberdashery just
when my ruffle was supposed to be ready.

And then he shows up wearing one that's
identical to the one I reserved?

He must have given them my name because
he wanted the trendy ruffle.

I could not just let this injustice
stand.

I mean, Angelica is definitely the
prettiest. Yeah, sure.

You know, but Eliza just, she just seems
so gettable. Man, a Schuyler sister.

I wonder if I could get one. I mean,
perhaps Peggy.

Good evening,

Alexander.

Lovely ruffle.

You must have preserved it quite some
time ago, what, considering how slammed

all the haberdasheries have been this
ruffle season?

Yes, yes, ruffle season certainly has
been hot, hot, hot.

Which is why I reserved mine with Mr.
Henry two weeks ago.

Oh, you know a funny thing. I also
reserved mine with Mr. Henry two weeks

But when I showed up today, mine had
gone missing.

And yet, here you are, wearing an
identical piece.

How interesting.

And another interesting fact.

I had my ruffle monogrammed on the
inside of the collar.

Monogrammed, you said?

Indeed.

Gentlemen, let's convene the meeting.
I'd like to polish off the rest of this

draft tonight so we can get on with the
signing.

The signing.

Hot stack of Johnny cakes. You really
were going to sign the Declaration of

Independence.

Really looks like it. So what happened?

So let's talk about these unalienable
rights.

So far I have life and liberty, but it
feels like there should be a third.

What about beer?

Thank you, Sam.

I'm not going to write that down, but
that doesn't mean that it was a bad

Either way, we need to make it clear
that these rights were given to us by

I think Hamilton took it.

Here, here.

What?

My raffle.

The one I reserved at every song.

Who cares? We're founding a nation. Just
drop it, man.

Now, the people should have the right to
alter or even abolish government if

abused. But at the same time,
government... Do you think he bribed

Bride to who?

A haberdasher. Are you not listening?
I'm trying to listen. To Jefferson.

Just leave me alone.

And we can no longer tolerate the forced
boarding of foreign mercenaries in our

homes.

This is the timing of the specials.

John? Yes? John?

John Jay?

Yeah.

Did you have something that you would
like to contribute to this particular

concept?

I, um...

Yeah, I like it. It's good. And what was
it?

I don't know.

Captain, man, you are blowing this.

There are many benefits.

Sometimes I even get to come to Earth as
a living human, otherwise known as a

demon. While here, I'm whining, I'm
dining, I am tricking innocents into

me their souls. It is a blast.

And all on the underworld dime.

Honestly, it sounds a lot like my time
at Lehman Brothers.

Any of you could be having fun like me.
All you have to do is accept my deal. A

simple handshake will do.

Oh, get that hand away from me. I ain't
taking the deal. Nor should any of us.

Aside from possibly Thor.

What Thor do.

What Thor do?

Didn't you kill, like, thousands of
people?

Yes, but only to pillage the land for
resources and treasure.

Also, must remember, most of those were
Danes, so Thor think Thor in. Clear.

Danes are people too, Thor.

She's not wrong, my wolf urine -soaked
friend. You see, in the eyes of hell,

nationalities are seen as equal.

I was surprised, too.

But Thor killed... many.

Many Danen also eat best friend Oscar,
who was Squirrel. See, the equating of

those two things also isn't great.

Think I have a live one. What do you say
we make it official?

Oh, that's enough, Elias. He doesn't
want your deal. None of us do. So open

hole and go back down from where you
came.

Well, you all have another hour on the
clock. If you change your minds, I will

be around looking for livings to walk
through and make horny.

Okay, that guy sucks.

But you've got to admit, the ghost power
rocks.

Men, I do believe that we have done
something important here tonight.

And now it is time to sign.

There I was, mere inches away from

signing the Declaration of Independence,
from the monogram collar of my ruffle.

And now it's you.

You stole my raffle.

I don't know what you're talking about.
I'm trying to be in the middle of

something. Well, let me see the collar.

What? No, let me see it. No, let me see
it. No. What is wrong with you? Isaac,

what are you doing?

My God, man.

I can save it. No, no, no.

No, no, no.

My finger.

Phew. That was close.

You destroyed it, Higgintoot.

No, no. I mean...

Honestly, we were going to have to do it
over anyway, because all those S's look

like F's.

Oh, my goodness.

You destroyed the Declaration of
Independence?

Just the first draft.

But, yeah.

So you destroyed the first draft of the
Declaration and squandered your own shot

at history. At least there's a silver
lining.

Damn it, Pete.

Don't start one unless you got it. I
spilled a glass of wine on Paul Simon's

white couch once. Took Garfunkel a week
to get the stain out. Oh, man.

Timothy Chalamet's eating at Connor's
restaurant.

I'm sorry.

Is he even listening to my story?

Jay, Isaac wants you to focus up. I am
focusing, but there's a lot of downtime

between updates.

Where was I? Oh, yes.

Fine. Not my finest moment. But all is
not lost. Jefferson, you seem to have a

pretty good handle on things. How about
you take another run at the draft?

And then we'll all meet back here same
time next week for some beers and

cyanaroonies. I'm sorry, Higgintoot, but
you're out.

Me?

If anyone should be out, surely it's
Hamilton.

And why is that?

Because he stole my waffle.

He's spiraling. He's totally lost it.
Who invited... this guy?

I think he just showed up.

Egentoot, it is time to leave.

Fine.

I'll leave, but not without regret.

Nothing would have made me happier than
to contribute to this great cause.

But alas, Alexander interfered with my
pursuit of happiness.

Because of the whole ruffle kerpuffle.

Get out!

Adding insult to injury, Hamilton
volunteered to lead me to the door,

my exit one final twist of the knife.

I'm sorry things didn't work out.

Oh, and, um, Higgintoot, you were right.

I stole your ruffle.

Hamilton admitted to stealing Isaac's
ruffle.

So Isaac was right. Hamilton did do it.
Yes, Jay.

But the truth is, that's not what
matters.

The only thing that matters is that my
blind obsession with proving that caused

me to miss out on being a part of
history.

Jay, this restaurant is your shot at
making history.

Don't let it pass you by.

Isaac's saying he should have just let
it go and not worried about it, because

he missed his chance to make his mark.

Isaac's right.

I need to stop sitting around and
complaining and start doing everything

power to make my restaurant a success.

This might be way too late to be asking,
but what is a ruffle?

Honestly, I gotta say, I knew hell was
bad, but it sounds really bad.

Totally, except for the contemplating of
Chumbawamba, which is objectively

awesome. So, do we have a deal?

Thor, no!

You don't want to do this, big guy.

But Thor may be going to hell anyways.

Why not take deal and make things a
little more comfortable?

Trust me, he does not want to start on
the ground floor. I mean, for one, that

floor is made of snakes.

Thor, think about it. You've been here a
long time.

If you were going to go down on us,
don't you think it would have already

happened? What do you mean?

I'm saying yes.

You've done some bad stuff, but you've
been making efforts to improve yourself.

And maybe the universe has taken note.
You remember two years ago when Bela's

boyfriend Eric was electrocuted and you
saved his life using your ghost power.

Thor, that's one life back in the plus
column. You do that a couple more

thousand times, you're pretty much even.

Don't listen to them. We're hell
buddies.

And you remember all those years as a
ghost when you watched over me as a

girl, comforting me in my times of need.
Maybe we've all been given a chance to

learn from our mistakes and become
better people.

And no one's done that more than you.

Sorry, life.

But Thor decided to take...

Those chances.

Fine, but know this.

I will not rest until I reap one soul
from this house. Believe me when I say

have not seen the last of me.

Morons!

That is the cue. That is always the cue.
You have not seen... I get knocked

down, but I get up again. You're never
gonna keep me down. God,

it's such a good song.

Isaac.

Something you said got me thinking.

Did you ever actually read the final
version of the Declaration of

As a matter of fact, no.

Once I blew my chance to be a part of
it, I couldn't bear to look at the

Right, because there's a phrase you said
in the story, pursuit of happiness.

Yes, it was something I said in the heat
of the moment.

They can't all be winners.

Well, they used it right at the
beginning of the Declaration.

What?

Really? Certain unalienable rights.

Life, liberty, and the pursuit of
happiness.

I used my words.

So I guess you did make your mark on
history in kind of a big way.

I guess I did.

What about Russell Kerfuffle? Did that
make it in? I'm pretty sure no.

Okay, well, still, Isaac won, Hamilton
zero.

Well, I mean, he's on the $10 bill.

Yeah, okay, then it's a draw, which is
the best Hamilton's ever done in a duel,

am I right?

Yeah, he died.

Yes, he did.

The wimp.

Whereas I am immortal.

My words live on.

I have to tell the others.

Everyone, I'm famous!

Whereas Hamilton bled out in a field in
New Jersey.

Bet he was really ruffled about that.

Can't endorse the pettiness, but love
the pun.

If I'm being honest, part of me isn't
sure about hiring a publicist.

I know I'm a good chef. Shouldn't that
be enough?

Everyone needs a little help sometimes.

I don't know.

It kind of feels like I'm selling my
soul.

I completely understand.

You know what?

I'm going to have to think about it.

Take as much time as you need. And when
you've made your decision, you know how

to get in touch with me.

Ha, ha, ha, ha.