All language subtitles for Ghosts [2025-04-06 21-00] uswcbs HQ

Isaac Hickentooth, do you take Nigel to
be your husband?

I don't. And you couldn't have told me
this an hour ago.

Her name is Patience. She's a lady that
lives in the ground.

What? Who is that?

We were once stuck in a hole. We decided
we had to join hands and navigate our

way through the dirt to the Woodstone
basement. We agreed that Sass would lead

the way, then Thor, then myself.

There was another ghost in the hall with
us. Her name was Patience. She was a

Puritan. What happened to her?

I just sneezed and let go of Patience's
hand.

For all we know, she's still out there
roaming.

So you're telling me there's a Puritan
woman just out there wandering around in

the dirt?

Yes. Mm -mm. I don't like that one bit.
You really should have invited us to the

wedding, Isaac.

He's here, Patience.

God bless you.

Patience.

The council has met, and we've decided
that we'd like you to leave the

community. What?

But I'm the most pious among us.

Who experiences less joy than I? Who is
more severe?

You are joyless and severe, I agree. But
even for us Puritans, there's such a

thing as too severe. I mean, you wanted
us to execute Miss Elizabeth Pru. She

was talking to a doll, to surely a sign
of witchcraft. She's five. And on a path

most dark.

The point is, you have to leave. I'm
sorry.

Then fine.

I shall start my own colony, where there
will be no smiling, no laughter,

and all the handles of the butter turns
shall be rough -hewn, so that thou shalt

feel the pain of sin with every stroke.

Well, I think people are going to really
enjoy that.

Or not enjoy it, whatever you wish.

Anyway, banishment.

Next.

Oh, man, I feel bad about Isaac leaving
Nigel at the altar last night.

But what a show, indeed.

At least it was a break from the
crushing mundanity of our bleak

Okay, the water bill this month is
unusually high.

And just like that... We're back.

Jay, have you been taking long showers
or something?

You think I'm taking long showers? I got
a bunch of invisible people creeping on

me. I wear a bathing suit in there.
People are so uptight about nudity. And

cult we used to take group showers.

You really helped to clean those hard
-to -reach places. Quick, some other

water bill talk?

Hey, guys. Got those tile samples for
the restaurant.

Mark and I just went to the hardware
store.

Because I can leave the property?

We know, Pete. This one's perfect. Right
here. Final answer. Lock it in. Well,

okay. That was easy.

It's usually a whole weird song and
dance with you two.

Well, we should confirm it with our
investor.

Right, our silent partner. But do you
really think he needs to weigh in on

a little thing? Yes, I think he would be
very upset if we didn't loop him in.

Yeah, that's more what I expected.

Anyway, our supplier said he's almost
out of these. So if we want them, we

act fast.

See? So let's ask Isaac, okay? Is he in
here?

No. Have any of you guys seen him?

No. He must still be moping in this
room.

Poor guy.

But it was exciting for us. Oh, the
drama.

The smell of the order.

Comradery. The sharing of the soul. And
she's back on group showers.

He wasn't at the hardware store because
he can't leave the property, which I

can. What'd they say?

They haven't seen him. I hope he's doing
okay.

I'm sure he's fine.

Okay, okay. You know what? Let's just
address the elephant in the room.

You're upset with me. Patience.

Patience.

That's new.

Thou didst abandon me.

It was an accident.

I had to sneeze, and so I covered my
nose. And in doing so, I did let go of

hand and abandoned you to the dirt. The
point is, I was wrong.

And I apologize.

Tis my intention to push thee into the
dirt such that thou may know the century

of suffering patience has endured.

What? Hey.

Sorry, um, have you seen Isaac?

The marksman who only yesterday pierced
my heart for a second time? No, I can't

say that I have.

But, in a grounded sense, I'm not sure
I've ever seen the real Isaac.

I'm sorry, Nigel. This is really hard.

Nigel's still living in the house? I
thought he would have slunk back to the

shed. Damn it, Jay.

What? Didn't Isaac, like, totally ditch
him at the altar?

Well, we'll leave you alone.

And those of us who possess the ability
to close doors will do so.

Can you turn on the TV already? It's not
called 45 minutes.

I want to watch the full 60.

Okay, not just like pressing a button. I
mean, it is. But it's hard, and it's

impressive that I can do it at all.
Possible Travis are now growing weaker

time. Legs are looking a little smaller.

What? No.

That's not even physically possible.

Hey, have you guys seen Isaac?

I haven't seen him. Me neither. Not
since wedding, which went very bad.

Nancy, have you seen Isaac?

Isaac?

You know, now that you mention it, I
think he said he was going for a stroll

this morning. And I remember that
because when he said stroll, I was

a bowl and I was like, whoa, stroll and
bowl, what are the chances?

What? Did he say when he'd be back?

I'm sorry, I didn't get his life story.

Jeez, what's with the third degree, huh?
Why are you being so weird?

I'm not being weird.

You're being weird. Quit taking your
body issues out on me, chicken legs.

I don't have to take this.

Interesting.

Nancy seems like she's hiding something.

Okay, you listen here, Nancy, and you
listen good. She left, Jay. Why am I

along on this mission?

Please, Patience, I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to lose you. I did look
for you.

A few times I even ventured slightly
into the dirt.

No, you wouldn't.

Not for Patience. Are you kidding?

I missed you.

We all missed you. Me, Sass, Thor, the
entire... whole patrol.

I mean, we had some good times, right?

Remember when Thor tried to say the word
supposedly and instead said supposedly?

It was indeed quite amusing.

And I don't know about you, but I loved
our time in the ditch.

I mean, who wouldn't enjoy staring at
that gorgeous porcelain skin?

It is from the bloodletting that killed
me.

I'm just glad we get to hang again.

Although, similarly to how Thor, Sass,
and I miss being in the ditch with you,

do fear I might miss being with them.

See what I mean, patients?

Isaac is lonely.

Exactly. I miss my friends.

You can understand that, right?

Patience, understand.

Patience.

Patience. Great.

Isaac.

Isaac.

That's it. Out with it. What happened to
Isaac? I don't know why you guys are

riding my leg about this. I have no idea
where he is.

Okay, I had promised not to say
anything, but Nancy already told me what

happened. You told him about Patience?

Wait, what happened with Patience?

Oh, damn it, Stuart. You have to be the
dumbest, most gullible piece of trash

I've ever known, and I was married to
the village idiot. Come on, Nancy, what

happened? Okay, so yesterday, attracted
by the pulsing bass from the wedding

DJ's speakers, Patience appeared through
the wall.

She asked to speak to Isaac, so we...

We thought she just wanted to yell at
him a little. We didn't know she was

to drag him away.

It was very rude. We were mad about not
being invited to the wedding, but we

didn't want this to happen.

Jay, a quick update. Isaac was kidnapped
by a Puritan ghost who's been roaming

the dirt for centuries, waiting for a
chance at revenge.

Oh, that's really going to push back and
answer on these tiles.

Obviously, I'm also very concerned for
Isaac.

All confused how patients just take
Isaac, not like she's strong enough to

Isaac over his shoulder.

Probably be something you struggle with
as well.

I broke a Thighmaster once, Thor. I
broke it. Patience is real stealth. I'll

show you. I'll be Patience, and Seth,
you be Isaac.

Okay? See, he was standing over there.

Right here? Yep, but his back was to the
wall.

Like this?

Exactly. Then all of a sudden...
Patience!

Thou didst say that thou missed thy
friends. Tis now a problem solved.

Wait, did I get kidnapped because Isaac
said he was lonely?

No, I have been vastly misunderstood.

And also, she has gone quite mad.

Isaac didst inform me how much you
searched for patience all those years

It was a relief on account of how much I
did see thee as friends.

Uh, same.

Oh, I never had such friends as in the
ditch.

And now we have another chance.

It is ordained. We shall spend the
remainder of eternity here together.

Now, it is time for my daily
constitutional.

It took me a century to get my bearings
here in the dirt, so don't you go

wandering off, lest she be lost forever.

Oh, this sucks.

Okay, Flower, you spoke with Patience
while you were in the well. Do you

her saying anything that could help us
locate Isaac and Sass? Don't love the

Flowers memories load -bearing here.

Okay, let me think.

It's interesting because Patience has
taken Isaac and now Sass. It's almost

she's abducting everyone that was in the
ditch with her, which just leaves Thor.

Yeah, she could be coming for you next,
big guy. The final piece to her creepy

little puzzle.

I'd like to see her try.

Oh, I'm not scared.

Oh, wait. I do remember something about
Patience. She was small. She had no arms

and legs.

She was a worm.

There was a worm named Patience? Yeah, I
named her after this other Patience I

met. She's a Puritan.

And we're in the vicinity.

Do you know where we can find the
Puritan?

Yes. Patience said something about
living in a cave underneath a willow.

Flowers said that Sass and Isaac are
under a willow. Is there a willow tree

the property? Yeah, remember?

That's where I crashed my drone that
looks like a TIE fighter. TIE fighter's

from Star Wars.

Star Wars is a futuristic space opera.

Well, actually, it was set in a distant
past.

This is worse than Samantha's water bill
talk.

Well, what are we waiting for, huh?
Let's go get him. Get who?

What the hell?

Full not scared, dog.

Just surprised.

Subtle but important difference.

Maybe being imprisoned in this dank lair
with that interminable dripping is my

comeuppance. What are you talking about?

I've disappointed everyone who's ever
depended on me.

I was a bad fiancé in death, a bad
husband in life.

Let this be my promise to you, my
friend.

If, by the grace of God, we ever get out
of here, I vow to change my ways.

To be...

kinder, to be less selfish, to be a
better person.

Good for you.

Your rock looks more comfortable. Can I
have it? What happened to being a better

person? What? Oh, no, no, no. I said if.

If we get out of here.

God has to uphold his end of the bargain
first.

I can't believe we're in this situation.

Who knows what that lunatic has in store
for us.

Honestly, I'd like to say that she
became terrible because of the

she was always a little off to begin
with.

Patience! Patience!

Your version's too sane.

Oh, yeah,

that's it. That was good. That one
really captured the madness.

That wasn't me, Isaac.

Patience! What's up, girl?

Oh, I'm tired and my hands hurt. Yeah,
sorry I couldn't find that second

Jane. You threw it behind the shed clam.

Outgoing. Thor, get over here.

All good in this open space with clear
views of all approaches, but not scared.

Oh, I think he broke through. Sam, I
think I broke through. Do you see

Saz! Isaac!

Trevor! Arrowguy!

Oh, this is fun naming everyone.

Oh, it's a burrow of rabbits.

No, Ghost, they're not in there.

Patience ain't in there. You can stop
cowering, Thor.

And your hat's small and ugly like
Trevor's legs. Truth or...

Wait a minute.

Patience never said she lived under a
willow. The Grateful Dead said we could

all get high under a willow in the song
Sugar Magnolia, which wasn't released

until after I died.

But Bobby Weir used to sing it to us in
the shower.

They're not in there, Jay.

You know what that means.

We're digging in the wrong place.

Raiders. Did Pete do the Raiders thing?
Our friends are still being held

hostage, but yes, Jay, he did the
Raiders thing. My guy.

I want it to be nice.

But no one's nice to patient.

There's only one thing to do, yes.

One thing to do.

Forget this ever happened and start over
with a clean slate?

Take thee into the dirt.

And when you say thee, do you mean me
thee or he thee?

Both. Don't love that.

He is heaven on earth. Oh, Sam, that is
a...

Deeply offensive phrase to ghosts who
are stuck in purgatory on earth. Very

hurtful belittling our eternal
suffering.

I'm sorry.

No, babe, you're right.

It really is heaven on earth. Oh, my
God.

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What was that? You just made a fist.

That is what rock is, Stuart.

The rules are so simple, you're killing
me.

The sexual tension between these two.

It's palpable.

Will they or won't they?

Just put us out of our misery.

Oh, my God, that's gross.

Oh, that is so scary and disgusting.

I'm pretty sure a worm went right
through my mouth.

Oh, she's back and she wants more.

Here, take him. He's not annoying.

No. I am returning them.

Thou art free to go.

Wait, really?

Why? It is my own fault for thinking you
actually liked me.

Patience shall return to her one true
friend.

The dirt.

Why does paper beat rock?

Do I run into the dirt? Go!

I got it.

Patience said she was living in a white
room with black curtains.

No, wait.

That's from a bath I took with a band
cream.

This is painful.

If legs hurt from standing, you would
have Thor's seat.

I was talking about flour. The legs are
great.

We have returned.

How did you escape?

Did you breathe the dirt? Or did you
have to do something you could never

about? You could tell Birdie. Birdie
kicked the mouth shut.

Actually, she just let us go.

The Southies hurt her feelings.

Me? You did it, too.

But you started it by imitating her.

Pay attention.

That's the thing she does now.

Look, I'm glad to be back, but I don't
know, man. I feel like she needed

friends, and we abandoned her, just like
we did 130 years ago.

I'm not even exaggerating. That is
literally what it is. She is loony.

Well, I think we figured out what's up
with the water bills.

Mark says the fountain is leaking. Just
hundreds of dollars dripping into the

ground. And the fascinating saga of the
water bill continues.

Will they patch the fives? Stay tuned.

Babe, Sass and Isaac escaped Patience's
clutches.

They're back.

Oh, nice.

You see, sometimes this ghost stuff just
resolves itself.

That's a good lesson for the future.
Wait a minute. Dripping?

Isaac, remember the dripping in
Patience's lair? Patience's lair must be

the fountain.

What? She's been 50 feet away this
entire time? Oh, now that creeps me all

way out.

You know, if Patience's feelings were
really hurt, now you can do something

about it. We know where she is.

Hey, just to clarify, are you suggesting
going and getting the creepy feral

Puritan ghost and bringing her into the
house?

I'm suggesting righting a wrong that
happened a long time ago.

Wow, and you wouldn't even let me get a
lizard. May I just remind you that this

lunatic kidnapped and held us hostage.

She was hurting, Isaac, and also she let
us go.

Wait, you were kidnapped by a worm?

I may regret this, but I feel we need to
go get Patience.

Patience is very creepy, but for no pain
of abandonment would not wish that

on.

An inonding.

I think you were literally just saying
that if we got out of there, you'd turn

over a new leaf and be a better person.

Well, here's your chance.

Perhaps we could start with something
smaller. I could compliment one of

Samantha's dreadful sweaters. That
looks... lovely, I think.

Okay, fine, fine.

Let's go get that scary Puritan woman.

Jay, we may need to destroy the
fountain, but... Please don't finish

sentence. No.

I got a better idea.

I'm a guy with great legs and a great
idea.

Wow. Jay, this is actually really cool.
They formed a human chain. Or, you know,

a ghost chain.

Once again, Sam, we're still human.
We're just dead.

This is the most amazing sight I've
never seen.

You see, back in Camp Ramah, I was
anchor of my tug -of -war team.

Three years running, we got first at the
Maccabiah Games.

Okay. I'll take Crash's hand.

At least we know he cannot sneeze.

Yeah, keep going. Into the dirt. I hate
this!

Stop, stop, stop.

Pull out! Pull out!

No, the ghost got pulled into the dirt.

Oh, no.

Yes! Deep money in his magic quads!

Second Thor!

Thor's way up there.

Patience! We came back.

Isaac, the sappy.

What is the meaning of this? We're not
going to abandon you again.

Come with us.

Oh, sorry!

Sorry!

I got him. We're good. We're good.

Look, we know we messed up, but you're
our friend.

And you're not a lunatic.

My point is, we'd like you to come back
to the house with us. You came back for

me? Not soon enough.

Patience!

Patience! Oh, so it can be good or bad.
That's interesting.

Come with me if you want to live.

Terminator.

It's a movie.

A movie is like a series of images.

Can we do this back at the house?

Suck it, Thor.

Pass it on.

Hey, Jay, if I were kidnapped and
trapped in an underground lair, would

an eternity in the dirt for the chance
to save me? Ooh, of course. And I love

that these are our hypotheticals. Mm
-hmm.

Well? Oh, sorry, bro. It's a no -go on
the tiles. Our investor wants to see

other options.

I mean, burgundy.

Are we opening a restaurant or a
brothel? Okay.

I'll find some more options. Sorry,
Mark.

By the way, how's patience adapting to
life in the house?

One last question for thee.

What is thy favorite color?

I do not know.