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1
00:00:48,087 --> 00:00:50,837
Hey guys! I got a good one,
do you want to hear it?
2
00:00:51,462 --> 00:00:52,753
Shut up Hopkins!
3
00:00:54,171 --> 00:00:56,587
What do you say to a
black man in a uniform?
4
00:01:01,379 --> 00:01:05,879
Excuse me Sir, I'll have a Big Mac with
cheese and a coke please!
5
00:01:08,587 --> 00:01:09,878
You're a fucking Hillbilly Hopkins!
6
00:01:10,171 --> 00:01:11,587
Say that again snow white!?
7
00:01:11,921 --> 00:01:14,212
[Say that again snow white!?]
8
00:01:14,837 --> 00:01:16,962
[You're just jealous of my
big black dick that's all!]
9
00:01:19,004 --> 00:01:19,587
Shut Up!
10
00:02:15,421 --> 00:02:16,671
Hey guys, I've got another one!
11
00:02:18,171 --> 00:02:19,004
Do you know why black people...
12
00:02:29,921 --> 00:02:31,796
NINJAAAAAAAAAAAS!!!!!
13
00:02:43,754 --> 00:02:45,045
GET SOMEEEEEEE!!!
14
00:03:16,046 --> 00:03:18,879
Jenny! Stop playing those stupid
video games and go outside!
15
00:03:19,171 --> 00:03:20,087
Yes mom!
16
00:04:57,087 --> 00:04:58,920
One minute!
I'm coming!
17
00:05:25,046 --> 00:05:26,379
Your pepperoni mam
18
00:05:26,671 --> 00:05:27,629
I didn't order any pizza!
19
00:05:31,296 --> 00:05:32,879
With extra 9 millimeter
20
00:05:46,462 --> 00:05:47,462
Mooooom?!
21
00:10:34,462 --> 00:10:36,212
Darling! Breakfast is ready!
22
00:12:01,962 --> 00:12:04,337
Do you know why Americans
don't have hemorrhoids?
23
00:12:05,504 --> 00:12:07,337
Because all the assholes live in Canada!
24
00:12:08,004 --> 00:12:10,170
Hopkins!! You old sack of shit!!
25
00:12:16,337 --> 00:12:18,128
Did they give you bionic balls too?
26
00:12:18,421 --> 00:12:20,337
You know I've already got balls of steel!
27
00:12:32,629 --> 00:12:34,004
Okay, let's not break your new toy!!
28
00:12:34,337 --> 00:12:35,587
It's good to see you again, John!
29
00:12:36,129 --> 00:12:37,629
Shit, you look like somebody's secretary!!
30
00:12:38,004 --> 00:12:41,254
An Air Force Uniform,
and you get all the pussy, dude...
31
00:12:42,004 --> 00:12:44,629
So I left the Army!! You
want me to hook you up?
32
00:12:44,921 --> 00:12:47,212
I'm good pussy-wise, man. And
you can keep your desk job.
33
00:12:48,129 --> 00:12:51,254
Holy Shit Hopkins, for all those years
I thought you were rotting in a rice paddy!
34
00:12:51,546 --> 00:12:52,629
How did you survive this shit?
35
00:12:52,921 --> 00:12:54,087
The usual routine...
36
00:12:55,212 --> 00:12:58,712
It all started when those fucking
gooks unleashed Raptors on my ass...
37
00:14:00,671 --> 00:14:01,796
Fuck off bastard!
38
00:14:06,504 --> 00:14:07,587
Fuck off bastard!
39
00:14:14,962 --> 00:14:16,795
Hey Hopkins, Need a Hand??
40
00:14:28,171 --> 00:14:32,087
Come on, you fucking bastard
commie lizards swingers...
41
00:14:34,921 --> 00:14:37,254
Come on Kowalsky!!!
Get to the chopper!!!
42
00:14:38,587 --> 00:14:43,087
Yes, we are gonna have a little party,
oh yes a nice little party just you and me
43
00:14:45,212 --> 00:14:47,753
A party, a little party,
a nice little party...
44
00:14:55,046 --> 00:14:57,129
That was the last time I saw Kowalsky...
45
00:14:57,546 --> 00:14:59,254
He was a nice guy...
For a Polack!
46
00:14:59,546 --> 00:15:00,504
Fucking mess...
47
00:15:01,837 --> 00:15:03,253
I wonder what became of Snow White...
48
00:15:04,921 --> 00:15:07,379
So! What brings you to
the boondocks, Hopkins?
49
00:15:07,671 --> 00:15:09,462
I've got good news and bad news John
50
00:15:10,379 --> 00:15:11,045
Good News First
51
00:15:11,837 --> 00:15:13,128
They murdered your ex-wife
52
00:15:13,546 --> 00:15:14,546
Shit...
53
00:15:16,921 --> 00:15:18,129
No more alimony!!!
54
00:15:23,046 --> 00:15:24,212
And they took your kid!
55
00:15:27,046 --> 00:15:28,379
Don't mess John!
It's up to the police to handle this!!
56
00:15:28,671 --> 00:15:30,087
Tell me everything you know, Hopkins!
Spill it!
57
00:15:30,462 --> 00:15:32,212
We're not in Vietnam anymore John,
there are laws here!
58
00:15:32,796 --> 00:15:33,587
I can't say anything!
59
00:15:33,879 --> 00:15:35,045
Now you listen to me, you son of a bitch!
60
00:15:35,337 --> 00:15:37,712
You've never been able to put your
dick in anything but fat-mama san!!
61
00:15:38,046 --> 00:15:39,171
You don't know what it's like
to have a kid!
62
00:15:39,462 --> 00:15:41,045
That's fucking cold, John...
there was that girl in high school...
63
00:15:41,671 --> 00:15:42,421
Where, When, How!!??
64
00:15:43,462 --> 00:15:45,628
You have no clue about the shitstorm
you're about to walk into...
65
00:15:45,921 --> 00:15:47,212
Walking in is the easy part
66
00:15:47,546 --> 00:15:49,671
it's walking out without your
dick in a sling that's rough...
67
00:15:53,254 --> 00:15:55,754
A joint operation between
the FBI and the Air Force
68
00:15:56,046 --> 00:15:58,212
has been set-up to nail
a big weapons dealer.
69
00:16:00,046 --> 00:16:02,546
As of yet we don't know who he
is or where he operates from.
70
00:16:03,171 --> 00:16:04,171
What's the deal with my daughter?
71
00:16:04,587 --> 00:16:07,587
You will not believe me John, but his men...
They are Ninjas!
72
00:16:08,087 --> 00:16:10,170
Shit!
Those fuckers again!
73
00:16:19,754 --> 00:16:22,962
I've gone undercover into a gang of bikers,
and I've set up a deal in a few days.
74
00:16:23,337 --> 00:16:24,962
We are gonna nail them John, don't worry!
75
00:17:16,671 --> 00:17:18,129
On time, as promised
76
00:17:49,296 --> 00:17:52,004
Do you know why your ancestors
roamed the desert for 40 years?
77
00:17:55,671 --> 00:17:58,004
Because an asshole lost a coin!!
78
00:17:59,129 --> 00:18:01,045
Freeze motherfucker FBI!!!
79
00:18:09,546 --> 00:18:10,504
Surprises!
80
00:18:10,879 --> 00:18:12,504
I love surprises!!
81
00:18:12,921 --> 00:18:14,754
I LOVE SURPRISES!!
82
00:18:17,212 --> 00:18:18,462
Hey Hopkins!!
83
00:18:21,046 --> 00:18:22,712
How is your arm doing?
84
00:18:42,546 --> 00:18:43,212
Shit!
85
00:18:53,671 --> 00:18:54,504
Freeze!
86
00:19:16,087 --> 00:19:17,920
Greetings from Smith and Wesson!
87
00:19:35,379 --> 00:19:36,295
John...
88
00:19:37,379 --> 00:19:38,045
You!!!
89
00:20:32,296 --> 00:20:34,421
Come closer... I'll speak...
90
00:20:48,754 --> 00:20:49,670
Where is my daughter you motherfucker!!
91
00:20:49,962 --> 00:20:51,503
It's not a way to treat an old friend...
92
00:21:02,629 --> 00:21:04,670
Reunions, I love reunions!
93
00:21:42,546 --> 00:21:44,337
Hey John! I almost forgot!
94
00:21:44,754 --> 00:21:47,587
If you want your kid back,
I've got a job for you!
95
00:21:58,254 --> 00:22:01,545
Fuck!! if I'd known I was going to
die today I would have got laid...
96
00:22:01,837 --> 00:22:05,087
Hold on Hopkins it's gonna be OK!
Hold on!
97
00:22:05,504 --> 00:22:08,379
You know, there is something
I never told you John...
98
00:22:12,421 --> 00:22:14,671
You know, all that racist bullshit...
99
00:22:16,587 --> 00:22:17,670
My old man...
100
00:22:18,296 --> 00:22:20,629
He died in a concentration camp...
101
00:22:20,921 --> 00:22:22,046
Shit Hopkins, I didn't know
102
00:22:26,254 --> 00:22:28,504
He fell from the guard tower!
103
00:25:46,546 --> 00:25:50,671
Colonel, the American is here,
the American is in Val Verde
104
00:25:50,962 --> 00:25:52,128
Thank you Bernardo
105
00:27:30,921 --> 00:27:31,754
Don't worry...
106
00:27:33,629 --> 00:27:35,045
I'll keep an eye on him...
107
00:28:08,212 --> 00:28:09,295
It will have cost you an arm!
108
00:28:13,962 --> 00:28:14,670
And a leg!
109
00:30:36,337 --> 00:30:38,462
Beautiful! Bravo John!
110
00:30:38,962 --> 00:30:40,962
I hope my little warm-up...
Pleased you!
111
00:30:41,254 --> 00:30:42,254
Where is my daughter motherfucker!
112
00:30:59,129 --> 00:30:59,920
Jenny!
113
00:31:14,754 --> 00:31:19,254
Sargent Kowalsky was part of my experiments
when I was working for the Soviet Union...
114
00:31:20,921 --> 00:31:24,546
Like your friend... "Snow White".
115
00:31:24,879 --> 00:31:26,504
Unfortunately, he didn't survive
116
00:31:29,296 --> 00:31:31,421
You could have been a
wonderful guinea pig John!
117
00:31:31,712 --> 00:31:36,045
If only that... goddamn Colonel Yin
didn't let you go...
118
00:31:36,337 --> 00:31:38,920
Well, let's get to the point...
119
00:31:39,587 --> 00:31:43,795
John, you are known to be the best
warrior in the world, and I need you,
120
00:31:44,129 --> 00:31:45,337
to train my Ninja Army
121
00:31:46,004 --> 00:31:50,462
and set-up a new world order,
thanks to my new organisation...
122
00:31:51,171 --> 00:31:52,546
THE PENTANGLE!
123
00:32:03,504 --> 00:32:04,920
Kowalsky let her go, it's me John!
124
00:32:06,546 --> 00:32:07,629
Don't sweat it!
125
00:32:08,129 --> 00:32:12,629
His brain has been replaced by a powerful
4Mhz microprocessor, to make him
126
00:32:13,462 --> 00:32:15,795
a Perfect - Little - Soldier!
127
00:32:17,671 --> 00:32:20,546
So... What do you think of
my proposal John?
128
00:32:21,046 --> 00:32:23,837
If you want your kid back,
then you gonna cooperate, right?
129
00:32:27,337 --> 00:32:28,545
Kiddy wants to say something?
130
00:32:30,712 --> 00:32:32,920
Kill all these bastards
until the last one dad!!
131
00:32:33,212 --> 00:32:34,045
That's my girl!
132
00:32:38,587 --> 00:32:39,878
To the helicopter, quick!
133
00:32:45,171 --> 00:32:46,087
Daddyyyyy!
134
00:32:49,004 --> 00:32:50,587
Sargent Kowlaksy stop! This is an order!
135
00:33:21,129 --> 00:33:22,962
No no no no no Noooo!
136
00:33:23,254 --> 00:33:23,879
Yes!
137
00:33:31,129 --> 00:33:33,004
Lower! Lower!
138
00:33:33,296 --> 00:33:35,921
Lower! Come on! Lower!
139
00:33:45,212 --> 00:33:46,378
Farewell John!
140
00:33:48,171 --> 00:33:49,921
I think our little deal is off!
141
00:33:51,671 --> 00:33:54,379
But don't worry, I will
take care of your daughter!
142
00:34:14,462 --> 00:34:16,295
I can look after myself,
you creepy bastard!
143
00:34:24,212 --> 00:34:25,753
[Kowalsky it's over!]
144
00:34:26,754 --> 00:34:28,087
It's me, John, Remember?
145
00:34:28,796 --> 00:34:30,296
[Let her go]
146
00:34:33,171 --> 00:34:34,296
I told you to let her go!
147
00:34:34,712 --> 00:34:36,462
[I told you to let her go!]
148
00:34:40,546 --> 00:34:43,171
What are you doing Kowalsky, don't mess!
I told you to let her go!
149
00:34:45,837 --> 00:34:47,128
Daddyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
150
00:34:47,421 --> 00:34:48,462
Jennyyyyyyyy!
151
00:34:49,046 --> 00:34:50,421
Daddyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
152
00:34:50,754 --> 00:34:55,170
Noooooooooo!
153
00:36:34,879 --> 00:36:35,879
You are an American!!
154
00:36:36,546 --> 00:36:38,337
But in your blood must flow
Ninja Blood!!
155
00:36:39,754 --> 00:36:40,962
As says the Ninja Code,
156
00:36:41,546 --> 00:36:44,004
Me must teach you Art of Ninjitsu!!
157
00:36:47,796 --> 00:36:48,421
Teach me!
158
00:39:21,462 --> 00:39:25,295
A true ninja knows how to
master the 4 elements,
159
00:39:26,546 --> 00:39:30,254
but you need to master
the Fifth Element!
160
00:39:35,921 --> 00:39:36,962
Air...
161
00:39:40,962 --> 00:39:41,878
Fire...
162
00:39:44,962 --> 00:39:45,878
Water...
163
00:39:49,462 --> 00:39:50,378
Earth...
164
00:39:56,254 --> 00:39:57,504
and Time!
165
00:40:00,462 --> 00:40:01,753
Focus!
166
00:40:03,796 --> 00:40:05,837
Forget all what you knew...
167
00:40:06,879 --> 00:40:09,087
Don't walk into the past...
168
00:40:10,212 --> 00:40:12,170
Don't dream of the future...
169
00:40:13,046 --> 00:40:14,337
FOCUS!
170
00:40:15,046 --> 00:40:16,171
And what will be...
171
00:40:16,879 --> 00:40:18,087
WILL BE!
172
00:50:02,087 --> 00:50:04,462
Remember, my American disciple...
173
00:50:04,754 --> 00:50:09,254
Only a Commando Ninja,
can kill another Commando Ninja!
174
00:50:12,129 --> 00:50:14,920
Their can be only one true Ninja!
175
00:50:16,129 --> 00:50:19,462
But Sense.I., did you train any other
Commando Ninja before me?
176
00:50:21,921 --> 00:50:24,254
I've had another disciple before you,
177
00:50:25,462 --> 00:50:26,420
very strong,
178
00:50:27,712 --> 00:50:28,670
Formidable!
179
00:50:31,254 --> 00:50:32,879
But that person strayed from the path
180
00:50:33,879 --> 00:50:35,795
and was lost into the dark side!
181
00:50:37,046 --> 00:50:39,587
Now they are... A Red Ninja!!
182
00:50:44,087 --> 00:50:46,962
The day will come, my American Disciple
183
00:50:47,254 --> 00:50:48,379
you'll know!
184
00:50:49,296 --> 00:50:52,337
And you'll have to cross the fire
of destiny alone!
185
00:50:54,629 --> 00:50:55,629
Now GO!
186
00:50:56,129 --> 00:50:58,337
Commando Ninja!
187
00:53:41,712 --> 00:53:42,920
No!
188
00:53:44,171 --> 00:53:45,421
Wait John!
189
00:53:46,712 --> 00:53:47,753
Lori is that you?
190
00:53:48,046 --> 00:53:49,129
Yes it's me John...
191
00:53:51,129 --> 00:53:54,295
Lori, your wife, remember?
192
00:53:54,712 --> 00:53:56,128
But you're dead!
How is this possible?
193
00:53:57,504 --> 00:54:00,754
The Colonel Kinsky time travel device...
194
00:54:03,087 --> 00:54:06,087
The Lori who was murdered
was a Lori from another space and time...
195
00:54:07,504 --> 00:54:10,545
So this is why those fucking Ninjas were
always one step ahead of us back in Nam!
196
00:54:14,879 --> 00:54:17,629
When Kinsky first discovered
that technology...
197
00:54:17,921 --> 00:54:20,962
He first hired out his
services to the Soviet Union
198
00:54:23,171 --> 00:54:24,004
Then...
199
00:54:24,296 --> 00:54:26,046
as he became richer
200
00:54:26,337 --> 00:54:28,337
his thirst for power grew and grew!
201
00:54:29,421 --> 00:54:30,671
Jenny? Where is she?
202
00:54:31,712 --> 00:54:35,087
Into the future John, in 1998...
203
00:54:36,421 --> 00:54:38,921
Where the colonel is secretly training
his Great army...
204
00:54:40,212 --> 00:54:41,420
Send me into the future!
205
00:54:41,962 --> 00:54:43,337
Do it, for Jenny!
206
00:54:54,004 --> 00:54:55,170
Bring her back John...
207
00:54:56,087 --> 00:54:59,712
Everything could be back like when
we were a family,
208
00:55:00,004 --> 00:55:02,587
You, me and Jenny!
209
00:55:09,796 --> 00:55:11,379
I don't like your new pyjamas!
210
00:55:46,796 --> 00:55:48,546
There can be only one Ninja!
211
00:57:09,504 --> 00:57:12,545
Holy Shit... the democrats must
have taken over...
212
00:58:10,671 --> 00:58:12,046
I'm looking for my daughter,
have you seen her?
213
00:58:42,712 --> 00:58:46,128
I -- HATE -- PUNKS!!
214
01:00:13,712 --> 01:00:15,420
Hey Dad, it's been a while!!
215
01:00:18,421 --> 01:00:19,337
Jenny?
216
01:00:21,962 --> 01:00:23,462
I missed you so much Dad!
217
01:00:29,712 --> 01:00:30,795
How is that possible?
218
01:00:31,337 --> 01:00:32,670
We left each other 20 minutes ago!
219
01:00:35,379 --> 01:00:37,504
I think we've got a lot to tell
each other dad!
220
01:01:02,212 --> 01:01:03,128
Jenny watch out!!!
221
01:01:05,212 --> 01:01:05,837
Daaad!!!
222
01:01:36,046 --> 01:01:36,962
Kowalsky!!
223
01:01:37,754 --> 01:01:39,462
You fucking commie toaster!!
224
01:01:39,796 --> 01:01:40,337
Wait Dad!!
225
01:01:40,629 --> 01:01:41,670
I reprogrammed Kowalsky,
226
01:01:41,962 --> 01:01:44,045
He helped me survive all those
years without you dad!!
227
01:01:44,587 --> 01:01:45,587
He is with us now!!
228
01:01:47,337 --> 01:01:48,670
Nice to see you again buddy!
229
01:01:57,671 --> 01:02:00,546
There may have been some glitches on
the language pack when I rebooted him!
230
01:02:45,046 --> 01:02:47,379
Did I ever tell you about the Irish man
who didn't want to die?
231
01:02:47,671 --> 01:02:48,129
Hopkins!
232
01:02:48,546 --> 01:02:49,671
Uncle Hopkins!
16693
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