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Good evening. I'm Randall Park.

As Election Day draws closer,

we caught up with Candidate Johnson

and asked him how he was feeling.

Cautiously optimistic but still confident that

the American people believe in our message.

Big day's almost here, Randall.

I can taste it.

And, uh, what's it taste like?

Almost as good as this tequila.

Almost.

Probably also almost as good

as this hard pear cider.

That's been expired for easily over a year.

We saved it for the cat.

Really?

So, the race is tight. Mmm-hmm.

No one can predict which way it's going to go.

Would you consider this accomplishment a win,

no matter the outcome?

No way , no way.

There's that legendary competitive fire.

I try to do anything like I do everything,

and that's with all I got.

And you can work hard, but sometimes

there are variables you just can't control.

Of course you're referring to

not being cast as Pedro Cerrano

in Lin-Manuel Miranda's

musical remake of Major League.

No, not talking about that.

But that one did sting.

I'm talking about playing college football

in the early '90s at the University of Miami,

when I had big dreams of playing in the NFL,

and giving my family a better life.

All right, folks, our coverage

of the 1995 NFL Draft continues now.

Let's talk to the man of the hour,

Dwayne "Ladybird" Johnson.

Dwayne, how's it feel

to be the first pick in the NFL Draft?

I'm proof dreams do come true,

and a few years ago, I made a promise.

I bought my parents a mansion.

I don't believe it.

Dwayne...

Dwayne.

Dwayne!

Dwayne.

You all right?

Yeah.

What up, Kev?

You were asleep.

Yeah, I've been working hard in camp.

Going after that starting spot.

Just need to power my body down for a minute.

Micro naps.

Love those. Check it.

Boom.

Refreshed.

Yo, yo, yo, what up?

My dawgs, my dawgs, my dawgs.

Gushers? Gushers, baby? Gushers?

Ow!

Sapp top. Hey, yo, Sapp.

This is the D-line room.

I think your tight end meeting's

at the Old Spaghetti Factory.

Spaghetti sounds good right now, but no,

I'm in the right place.

Coach said he wanted to convert me to D-line.

So watch out.

I'm here for your job.

Okay, okay.

My acid reflux is bananas today.

I'll try not to take it out on you, okay?

Even though Sapp was an insanely talented

football player, I was determined

to show Coach Erickson I still had what it took

to be a starter.

Camp's wrapping up in a few days,

so it's make or break for a lot of you

battling for starting spots.

We got a championship-caliber team this year.

D-line's gonna lead the way.

Yes, sir. Second, sports agents.

Now, these jokers are lurking around,

trying to wine and dine some of you.

Where? Here I am.

It's illegal, so use your brains.

Avoid these guys.

And don't accept any of their gifts.

Is a car technically a gift?

Yes.

What if it's a Honda Civic?

It's still a gift. Moving on.

What about a sandwich? What about it?

Is it a gift? Technically?

If it's bought for you by an agent, then, yes, it's a gift.

What about a panini?

All sandwiches bought by agents are gifts.

Would you consider a hot dog a sandwich?

Damn it, yes!

See, I disagree.

Moving on. You've got your playbooks.

Let's talk game strategy.

I forgot mines.

It's cool if we share?

Come on, dawg. You hoggin'.

Sapp was one of the best athletes

Miami Football had ever seen.

But this was my year,

and I knew I had nothing to worry about.

The Devil made me do it

The Devil made me do it

The Devil made me do it

The Devil made me do it

The Devil made me do it

The Devil made me do it

The Devil made me do it

The Devil made me do it

The Devil made me do it

The Devil made me do it

Yo, I'm not even tired out here!

I'm sweating Cool Water Cologne, baby.

Sapp, baby!

Whoo-hoo, Sapp!

So, yeah. Obviously, I was wrong.

Okay, listen up.

Uh, first of all,

whoever recommended Zantac for my heartburn,

thank you. Honestly, life-changing.

You're welcome, Coach.

Second, season starts in a week,

and the coaches have made their decisions

on our first string defense.

I know how hard you all worked in the off-season,

and I'm proud of you, okay?

Each and every one of you.

Okay, starting D-line will be...

Ma dear is,

Patrick,

Miller,

and Sapp.

Was there ever a doubt about this?

Hey, you guys all earned it.

But remember, anything can happen, okay?

You need to go out there each week,

and you need to fight for it.

Okay, starting corners will be...

McNeill.

Yes, that's right. It's a six-day,

seven-night cruise around the Keys.

Of course, that's all included.

Sure, I'm happy to walk you through

those family packages again.

Just let me place you on a brief hold.

They're still winning, 40 to three.

Why is the Miami mascot

like a duck with no pants?

Has Dewey played yet?

Not yet, but we saw him on the sidelines.

Best looking kid on the bench.

Look, I'm stuck at work.

I can't make it home in time

before the end of the game, so just make sure

you tape the whole thing.

I always do.

The whole thing, Rocky.

Sometimes the band members get knocked down

by celebrating players, and I think that's really funny.

Yes, I will tape the whole thing.

So, for our family packages...

Oh!

That's a bad man !

In on the tackle back at the 42,

Mr. Sapp, Mr. Reilly.

I might not have got the starting job,

but I tried to stay motivated

and tried to stay ready.

But I didn't get my number called as much as I'd hoped.

Late in the fourth quarter, Miami 22, Nebraska 0.

And before you knew it,

we were playing for the national championship.

The Hurricanes are four minutes away

from being national champions.

Dewey hasn't played a single snap yet.

Well, at least his uniform is nice and clean.

Saves someone in the locker room a wash.

Miami mascot is a mess.

Oh, the other mascot.

Nice cowboy.

Handsome.

Like Lee Marvin.

Okay, Dwayne, let's go. You're in.

Yes, Coach.

This is it!

Fourth down.

That was it?

It was so exciting to see you

win the championship, Dewey.

Did you see those band members get knocked down?

The boy with the tuba just kept rolling.

I'm sorry you drove all the way out here

just to see me get in for only one play.

A great play, my favorite play.

And I can't wait to see your championship ring.

A man needs jewelry with a story.

Yes, Peter used to always talk

about the earring he got from Sean Connery.

Mm-hmm. Here you go.

Oh, uh, um

we have a coupon for half-off appetizers.

It's at your Tampa location, but I called ahead.

They said it's still in-state, so they'd accept it.

Oh, okay.

And we'll split the rest over these two cards here.

Oh, oh, sorry.

And I have one for a complimentary dessert.

So whenever you're ready,

we'll take an Oreo Mess.

Hey, thanks for dinner.

Next year, it's gonna be my treat.

We're so proud of you, Dewey.

We are a family of champions.

Yes, we are.

I'm gonna work my ass off all summer.

Next year, I'm gonna dominate.

From there, it's a straight path to the NFL.

Nobody's gonna outwork me.

Your Mess.

All right.

What... whoa, whoa. What y'all doing?

Just...

That summer, I took my training to the next level.

I've said before that the gym has always been my sanctuary.

Well, that summer, it was my church,

my altar to sweat,

my... Yo.

You done with this machine yet?

You see my towels are still there, right?

My basilica of grind.

It was my workshop, and I was its Build-A-Bear.

Is there a better time that I could call...

As hard as I trained,

the toughest part of that summer

was when my mom got me a job at her work

so I could help out with the bills.

It's five nights in Cabo, all expenses included.

Whoops!

Sorry about that. My ear got too sweaty.

Uh, as well as free T-shirts from The Giggling Marlin.

I hated seeing my mom in that place.

It was 100 degrees, no AC,

and you only got paid in commissions.

It made me double down on

my promise to get her out of there,

even if I had to adjust my expectations slightly.

All right, folks,

our coverage of the 1995 NFL Draft

continues now.

We go to the 25th pick,

Dwayne "My Real Name Is Karen" Johnson.

If you don't get the reference,

that's Whoopi Goldberg's birth name.

Okay, over to you.

Thanks, Chris.

Dwayne, how does it feel to be the 25th pick

in the NFL Draft?

Well, it feels great.

I'm gonna haunt the dreams of the 24 teams

that passed on me but...

Oh, and one more thing.

I bought my parents a tasteful,

ranch-style home.

Perfect, no stairs.

Horizontal livin'.

By the end of the summer, I was ready to roll.

I was gonna take that intensity back to Miami

and be the first guy in the gym every morning.

I was taking command of my future.

But, like I said,

sometimes there are variables you can't control.

Hey.

Yo, Dwayne Johnson. D-line.

Ray Lewis.

Freshman linebacker.

I thought I'd be the first person here at 5:00 a.m.

The assistant coach I had to call

to open up the weight room,

he thought the same thing.

It's good to have some company.

Man, hell yeah.

The break of dawn boys. Yeah, that's it.

Hey, and let me know if you have any questions about anything.

My only question is,

which way to the starting lineup?

Looks like you're gonna fit in here just fine, Ray.

Let's see what they do here on second and long.

A screen pass to Thomas.

And Ray Lewis said, "I told you."

Man, that kid's unbelievable.

Guy is a natural, brother.

He was born in the back field.

Hey, it's natural talent,

but that guy's busting his ass

in the gym with me every morning.

Man, I just wish I could be out there with him.

Nah, man, not me.

I'm happy right here on the sideline.

No chance of injury, and we still get

the social juice of being on the team.

Social juice? Who cares about social...

Nah, man.

This is my future.

I just got to stay ready, wait for my shot

to show 'em what I'm capable of.

I hear you, bro. I'm just saying.

Not all of us need to be masters of the universe.

Some of us are happy with

middle management at State Farm,

with a cute wife with a drinking problem.

Carlos!

That's my girl, Trish, right there.

Carlos, wave to me!

I'm with Lisa!

Hey, baby!

No way I'm middle management.

I'm gonna do big things.

Dewey, you're in. Let's go.

Ready, Coach.

35 yards and a sack. Down he goes. Dwayne Johnson.

I read somewhere he was thrown out of...

267 pound junior on...

His father was a tag-team champion back in 1984.

Here comes the number one king.

Marley is all over him along with Johnson.

Floyd is in. We're done.

Number 94,

Dwayne Johnson.

Oh, it's my boy!

Look at how old the other team's coach is.

Look like a grandpa!

Babe, Dewey just made an amazing play.

He sacked the quarterback who won the Heisman Trophy.

Yes, that's great.

Will you write down the player's name

so I can send his mother a note?

Okay.

Hey, you got a second, Coach?

Sure, Dewey. Take a seat.

Even though I never started,

I got some decent playing time and made the most of it.

I thought it might be enough to get me noticed.

I just wanted to ask you about something.

Girl advice? Be straightforward, okay?

Don't play mind games. Oh, no, no, no...

Be a gentleman, open the door.

No, it's not that. It's, um,

well, I heard that NFL scouts

usually ask for tape on players they're interested in,

and I was just curious if you got any calls for me.

You know, Dwayne, you're one of

the hardest working guys I've ever had here.

You're a fine player.

Hardest working in the weight room,

practice sessions, film sessions.

Hell, I wish half these guys

had one-tenth of your work ethic.

Thank you, Coach.

Which is why I have a question for you.

You ever consider going into coaching?

Uh, what?

You got the skillset to be a great one.

Dependable, diligent...

And then he says

I can do anything I put my mind to.

That's brutal, man.

Man, somebody get my man here

another drink, please.

I mean, he called me dutiful.

That's like what my grandma calls my mom.

That's real messed up.

Has Coach Erickson ever called any of you guys dutiful?

Hell no.

The last thing he called me was

"a rolling ball of butcher knives."

Sapp!

Hell of a game you played.

Yo, what's up, Uncle Luke, man!

I appreciate it, man. I appreciate it.

And Ray Ray! Freshman tackling machine.

Yeah, I told y'all I was gonna put a hurtin' on 'em, Uncle I.

That sack on third down was like

the most beautiful thing I ever seen.

And I've witnessed a bluebird hatching.

Hello, Luther.

Luther? You one of my mama's work friends?

Hey, fellas. Quick question:

what is black, white, and green?

You guys, me, and all the money we're gonna make together.

Hey!

I like the way he talking.

Y'all know Drew, right?

Sports agent for the stars.

Now when it's your turn to go pro,

he gon' make you rich. That's right.

Hey, man. How you doing?

Me? Him?

Yeah, you, big fella.

Uh, yeah, good. Great, glad to hear it.

Mind if I sit down?

Uh, yeah. Sure.

All right, cool. I'll just steal your seat.

Yeah, yeah. You know, I was

kinda running late for this other meeting

with this, uh, this other agent.

All right, I have everyone's number

in this phone. Name someone.

Kevin Kline.

Have it, boom!

Yo, it's in that? It's in that?

Dude, that's crazy.

If you said Phoebe Cates, then I'd be impressed.

Phoebe Cates?

Boom, gotcha!

He got Phoebe Cates in that mug!

I've always believed that no good happens

without hard work.

But sometimes accepting that

that's still not enough,

that's the tough one.

So I take it things didn't turn around

your senior season?

Well, you know, I played well.

But I never got the starting job,

and before you know it, just like that,

my college football career was over.

And it felt like my dreams were, too.

And now let's talk to Dwayne Johnson.

Thanks, Reggie. Dwayne, how does it feel

to be "Mr. Irrelevant,"

the last pick in the NFL Draft?

Reggie? Where's Chris Berman?

He left six rounds ago.

He had tickets to The Unsinkable Molly Brown.

Oh.

So, I bought you guys a mobile home.

The open road is my front yard.

You should've just kept the cash.

Okay, guys, gather up.

Okay, we just have

a couple of end-of-season awards to give out,

but, first, I just want to say

thank you for all of your effort and your sacrifice,

especially our seniors.

So the MVP of our team this year

was also the recipient of the Bronko Nagurski Award

for best defensive player,

the Lombardi Award for best lineman,

First Team All-American,

and the Big East Defensive Player of the Year.

We all look forward to watching him next year play in the NFL,

Warren Sapp.

Appreciate you, Coach. Appreciate you.

Yo, I just want to say thank you to all of you

for allowing me to outshine y'all all these years.

Warren Sapp.

Okay, and the next award.

Coming all the way back from

academic probation to earn

a 2.8 in general studies,

Scholar of the Year, Mr. Dwayne Johnson.

Dewey!

Hey, Coach, is this your dad?

It's Benjamin Franklin, son.

Oh, of course. Doesn't look like you at all.

All right guys, we're out of here

in three days. I want everything packed...

Like I've always done

when I don't know what else to do,

I go home.

My mom wasn't the only one

who was grinding out a paycheck.

My dad couldn't book matches anymore,

so he was teaching at Skinny Jimmy's wrestling camp.

Does this hurt, Richard?

No. I can tell.

And so can the audience

'cause you're not selling worth a damn.

Here, let me show you.

Put me in a sleeper hold.

Oh, my God, are you okay?

Richard, I swear to God.

I'm selling.

Right.

That Richard is a disgrace.

I wish I could go back in time and kill his mother.

At least he's having fun.

He's got a good enough job where he can afford

to pay for these lessons.

What does it matter if he's bad?

All right, everybody. Grab your partner.

If it doesn't matter to him,

it doesn't matter to me.

What matters to you, Dewey?

What matters to me?

Family.

Doing something great.

Proving that I got what it takes.

To do what?

Whatever you got.

You remind me of your grandfather.

He would say the same thing. He did?

Everyone thought

that he was too short to be a wrestler,

so he won the title.

They thought that wrestlers couldn't act,

so he got cast in a James Bond movie.

And they thought wrestlers were dumb,

so he started his own promotion business.

He loved being underestimated.

Yeah, I admire that.

Wish I felt that way.

Life is tough.

You must be tougher.

People don't believe in your dream?

Good. You prove them wrong.

But what if they're right and I'm the one that's wrong?

You are not wrong.

You're going to take us with you.

I know that.

You never give up.

We are all going to make it.

Time to go on a cool-down walk so I don't choke out Richard.

He got drunk and promised his kid that he'd fight

the ultimate warrior at next year's WrestleMania.

I'm gonna head down to the beach with my tire. Do some training.

I thought football was over.

The season's over, but the NFL combine's coming up.

Got to make sure I put on a show for those scouts.

Is that my championship ring?

Oh, I like to wear it to the store.

So, yeah, sometimes

there are things in life you just can't control,

but my family was never a variable.

Okay, try this again. Richard...

They were always there.

So we provide a discount on a rental car

if you commit to a midsize or above.

Uh, sorry, I'm just gonna have to place you on a brief hold.

Dewey, what are you doing here?

Just dropped by to bring you this.

Might not be able to get you out of here yet,

but in the meantime, I can at least make you

a little more comfortable.

Hey, why's she the only one who gets one of those?

Don't worry about what she's getting.

Know your role and shut your mouth.

Get out of here, Carl.

Who's that chiming-in bitch?

Carl.

Thank you for the fan, baby.

I love you.

Hey, it might take a little longer,

but I'm getting to the pros, Mom.

We're gonna make it.

You know, for four years,

I had gone up against future Hall-of-Famers.

And I was good, but I was never great.

But I still thought I was good enough to get a shot,

and all I needed was

one NFL team who believed in me.

So did an NFL team take a chance on you? Did you get drafted?

Well, we'll save that story for another time.

Oh, okay, I can't wait.

It's a good one.

Yeah, I won't have the hard pear cider next time.

Cheers.

Oh, yes, um...

There you go.

Get it.

Love it.

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