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During the debate,
if you're thirsty,

don't hesitate to stop
and take a sip of water.

Hydration is not weakness.

Casey, I took on a tidal wave
with my bare hands in San Andreas.

I'm good around water.

At some point, they will ask you
what you want your legacy to be.

Our polling of swing voters shows
your weakness is foreign policy,

so you want
your legacy to be

that you were tough but fair
on the Middle East.

Got it, tough and fair
on the Middle East.

Is it cool if I refer
to my opponent

as a "Little Candy Ass"?

I could say, "I'm gonna check
your little candy ass

"into the Smackdown Hotel."

I'm gonna go

do something that's not...

You having ideas, so--

But good luck. Kill it.

So, no, I'm not
for combining

the police department
and the fire department

into a super unit

called "The Fire Police,"

as cool as that sounds.

Thank you,
Candidate Johnson.

Let's move on
to the next question.

If elected, what do you
want your legacy to be?

Yes.

Middle East.

We'll begin with you,
Senator Taft.

Well, as the great-great-
great grandson

of President
William Howard Taft,

I know a thing
or two about legacy.

And carrying forward
that proud history,

I'll turn pain
into strength

and setbacks into victories.

Meanwhile, my opponent
is a movie star

who lets his stunt doubles
fight his battles for him.

Okay, as a fitness
advocate,

let me first point out

that William Howard Taft

was the only president

to ever get stuck
in his own bathtub.

I'm sorry, pics or it
didn't happen, Mr. Johnson.

It's a fact.
The other fact, America,

is that no one has had
to fight more than I have.

I come from a long line
of fighters.

Let me take a quick moment
to tell you a little story

about my family.

ADULT DWAYNE It
started with my grandmother,

the first female wrestling
promoter in the country.

No one was tougher than her.

She set the tone.

Lia. Lonnie McGill.

Thank you for meeting me.

Bob tells me you've been
calling the office

every day since Battle Royale,
leaving messages.

I wanna do what you do.

After 40 years of slinging
insurance, I retired.

And me and
the missus thought,

"Why not finally do
something that we love?"

So she's growing cucumbers,

and I'm trying to get into
the wrestling promotion biz.

And I figured,
who better to talk to

than the Queen
of Hawaiian Wrestling?

Nice story.

Here's why
you're really here.

You heard Greg Yao was
trying to steal my wrestlers.

First, King Kong Bundy...

He signed a deal
to wrestle for Yao.

Then Junkyard Dog.

He upgraded me
to the Radisson.

He even tried
to take Rocky.

It says "Number 1,"
'cause that's what you'll be

when you sign with me.

And you say, "Hey, I wanna
get in on that too."

I'm sorry?
You see me as weak.

"What's grandma gonna do?

"Hit me with her purse?"

That's what you say
to yourself.

I... That doesn't
sound like me.

You know how a queen
keeps her throne?

By ruling with an iron fist.

Excuse me.

She's a bad Mama Jama

ADULT DWAYNE Now, obviously,
my grandmother was not afraid

to get her hands dirty.

Neither was I.

Damn.

I need that.

I need a boogie board.

But sometimes
she would go too far,

and she knew it.

Today, my mom
left you mangoes.

Look, she pre-sliced some
of them the way you like it.

Why does she keep
leaving fruit?

Why doesn't she
just talk to me?

She's ashamed.

She uses big fruit
to intimidate people,

and small fruit
to apologize to people.

She lets the fruit
do the talking.

I can't believe
she thought I would stab her

in the back and sign an
exclusive contract with Yao.

I mean, if anything,
I'm the one that should be mad

about that screw job she pulled
on me at the Battle Royale.

What the hell
are you doing?

Lia changed finish
last minute.

I saw you with Yao.

I double-cross you before you
could double-cross me!

I did meet with Yao.

You are a degenerate
scumbag loser

with bad hair
and a cocaine problem.

Oh.

Rocky...

Honey, yeah, I think
she does think you're mad.

That's why
she feels so bad.

Oh. Good.

Ugh, that red light
is back.

It's been blinking
since yesterday.

It's driving me crazy!

Just call the front desk.
They'll fix it.

Or throw a towel over it.

Oh, hey, I spoke with Vince

about my run
in the New York territory.

He wants to pair me up
with Tony Atlas,

and if things go well,

set us up to be future
tag team champs.

Oh, remind me to call Tony,

and tell him to stop talking
about women's feet in public.

"Rocky Johnson,

"WWF Tag Team Champion"
sounds pretty good.

So does "Ata Johnson,
Star Search Champion."

It's been a couple weeks.
When are you gonna hear back

from that audition tape
you sent in?

I'm not holding my breath.

I'm sure they just
threw it in the trash.

Hey, now you can't
think that way.

Oh.

Dewey, did you put this
under my pillow?

That's where that is.

I was looking for it.

We've been through this.
You're too young.

Ugh, not the
age thing again.

Hey, careful!

That towel is there
for a reason.

I've seen kids half my age
riding these.

You've seen a five year old on
the open ocean boogie boarding?

Hey, remember when
Dewey was five,

and I used to let him sit
on my lap

and "drive" the car?

What are you
talking about?

I don't know.

I just walked in
mid-conversation

and wanted to be
in the mix.

It started blinking
a day ago.

I think you need
to replace the phone.

Your phone's not broken.

The red light means
you have a message.

A message? But I
pressed the red light.

Nothing happened.
No, no.

You have to press the button
with the envelope.

The envelope?
I thought that was

to summon the mailman?
It's fine.

I'm listening to your
message, right now.

It's some lady named...

Star Search?

She loved your tape.

She's inviting you
to come to Los Angeles

for an in-person audition.
Oh, my God!

What is it?
A spider?

Star Search
loved my audition!

Yay!
Yes!

And the phone's not broken!

Yay!
Yes!

And your dry cleaning's
ready to be picked up.

Uh...

Uh-huh.
Okay, thank you.

They're flying me
to LA tomorrow

for the second round
of auditions.

They want me to sing
my original song

I auditioned with,
and prepare a second song,

a cover.
My Sharon a.

Don't Go Breaking
My Heart.

I need to make a list
of emergency contacts.

I need to write out
Dewey's allergies.

Oh, you need to
forgive my mom.

Oh, uh,
why is that a thing?

Because it's time,

and we need her to watch
Dewey while I'm gone.

I'll get her to go
to the beach,

find you a beautiful
apology seashell,

she can rinse it
and wrap it...

Babe, babe, babe,
babe, babe?

I got time before Vince
needs me in New York.

I can watch Dewey.

You've never
watched me before.

Boy, yes I have.

No, you haven't.
Haven't I?

Definitely not.
You haven't.

Oh. Huh.

Okay, well,
we'll start right now.

It'll be easy.
The boy's 10,

he's practically grown.

He's still
a little boy.

Who are you calling
a little boy?

I can pick you up.

Oh, hey, no, no,
no, no, no!

Stop.

Look, I was 13 when I
went out on my own.

Now, I'm sure Dewey
can handle being watched

by his own father
for a few days.

Okay.

Okay, yeah.

You can have some
father-son bonding time.

That's right, ah!

The Johnson boys
are gonna hit the town!

I'm only talking spaghetti
and go-carts, baby.

Okay, so, I'd like
to bring us back

to the boogie board idea.

If Dad left home at 13,

feels like I can lie down
on a piece of foam

shaped like a PAC-MAN ghost

and feel the joy
of being pushed by a wave.

Okay. You can get
the boogie board.

Yes!

And to celebrate
my good news,

I'm taking the family
to Lorenzo's tonight

for a nice dinner.

Great idea, baby!

Ha, I love it.

Ooh !

That's how you do it, son.

And I'm inviting
my mother.

Mmm-hmm.

Even though
it wasn't my mom's fight,

she was the best at bringing
our family back together.

I gotta say, Lia,

this is one beautiful
apology shell. Thank you.

Peter gave it to me

when I caught him watching
women's volleyball.

I'm so happy we squashed this.

I'll never doubt
your loyalty again.

Ah, water under the bridge.
That's right.

We are family.
Family.

Always got your back.

Your back will always
be had.

Are you guys done?

Can I please have some
of Grandma's attention now?

Sorry.
Mmm, go ahead.

Look at my new
boogie board, Grandma!

My goodness, sweetheart.
I love it!

Her name's Tanya.

So wonderful.

I had something very similar
when I was a kid,

but it was a piece
of driftwood.

I can't believe
this is happening.

I can't believe
I'm going to LA

to try out for Star Search.

That's wonderful,
la'u pepe.

Your father used to say
your voice was so special.

Thank you, Mom.

You'd be so proud, Peter.

This is all for you.

And while you're gone,

Rocky and I
are going to plot

a revenge against Yao.

I already took
his cowboy boots.

He'll be feeling that
for a while.

That's only the beginning.

Next, we're gonna
crush his spirit.

Mom, you can't do that.

Yao is after our business.

Your father's business
and our family legacy.

In this family,
we stand up for ourselves.

Isn't that right?

That's right.
Definitely.

He must pay.

"He must pay"?

What are you planning to do?
Nothing.

Then why are you
smiling like that?

No reason.

No!

What?

Oh, my God.

My bird of fire!

My Greek gods and goddesses!

Sugar's corrosive
on a clear coat!

Just declined the insurance
on these.

Now,
some fights you choose...

And some fights,
they choose you.

Hey. I'm Sebi.

Hi, Sebi.
I'm Dewey,

and this is my
boogie board...

Kenny wants to fight you.

I
didn't know who Kenny was

or even why he wanted
to fight me,

but, like my grandmother said,

in our family, we always
stand up for ourselves.

Hell yeah,
I'll fight him.

Who's Kenny?
That's Kenny.

By the way, I'm not
affiliated with him.

He stole my shaved ice
and said

he wouldn't give it
back until I...

Can't talk.
My ride's here.

You missed that one!

I know, Sebi!

I know it's not your way

Hey, sorry to interrupt.

I know you said this is the
perfect acoustic chamber

for you to practice
your song,

but it's also the perfect
chamber for something else,

if you know what I mean.

I just need
five more minutes.

You know what?
I love you so much,

I'll give you six.

Not your way

They took Tanya!

Who's Tanya?
My boogie board.

Who did?

Kenny, heard you wanted
to fight.

You're in my surf spot.

If you don't want
to get your ass kicked,

you gotta pay the price.

Pay the price?
What price?

Fifty bucks.

And your boogie board.

Well, I don't have
any money,

so, you sure as hell
ain't getting that.

So...

Looks like we're gonna
have to settle this another way.

I was ready to fight Kenny.

Hey, yo.
Check this kid out.

But Kenny rolls deep.

Thinks he can take on
the local boys.

Uh-oh.

Your board...

Is gonna make a great present
for my mistress.

They cut my leash, took
my board, and beat my ass.

They were gonna bury me
up to my neck in the sand,

but I ran away.

I'm sorry, Dad.
Hey.

Never apologize for
standing up for yourself.

Oh, no, I wasn't
apologizing about that.

I was saying sorry
because I lost.

Oh, okay, good.
Yeah, I'm glad I fought.

Good, good.
Um, listen, Dewey.

Let's not tell your mom
about this.

She's got a lot
going on right now,

and we don't
want her to worry.

But as soon as she leaves
for the airport,

you and I will deal
with those kids.

Lia? Yao called.

He says he wants to have
a sit-down with you.

I think our threats worked.

He says he wants
to end this beef.

I already know
what I'm gonna wear.

Lia. Bob.

Greg. Drab boots.

They're temporary.
Okay?

I'm having new ones
custom-made.

I'm just waiting for this
special African yellow dye...

We're indoors,
take your hat off.

And show some respect.

I know you're the one
who's been threatening me

and damaging my property.

Then you stay away
from my wrestlers.

I run the Hawaii territory,

and if you want to put on
a match, you go through me.

I don't
work for you anymore.

You think because
you take my wrestlers

that we are equals?

I am a shark,
and you are...

Bob, what's the name
of those small fish?

Guppy.
No, no, no.

The ones that attach
themselves to the sharks

and eat their leftovers.

Oh, remora?
Yes.

You are remora.

And you eat
what I let you eat.

You know,
this business is tough.

People die in this business.

My husband, he died
because of this business.

Didn't Peter die of cancer?

He died how I say he died!

Okay. Fine.

Just tell me
what you want me to do.

Pay.

You rent the rings
and the venues through me.

You book my wrestlers,

and you pay my tribute fee
of $5,000.

I don't have that kind
of money lying around.

Then get it!

Hi, Lia. What are
you having today?

Oh, good morning, Marisa.

I'll have silver dollar
pancakes short stack

with a side of sausage.

Home fries with gravy.

I'll have a Cobb salad...

No, no, nothing for him.
He's leaving.

Hey, you tell Bob
when you have it.

And I keep some extra
money in a coffee can

in the closet,
just in case.

Oh, don't let Dewey
eat too many mangoes.

He's mildly allergic.
He gets puffy lips.

Please check in on my mom.
She's under so much pressure.

I'm really worried
about her. I will.

You just concentrate
on this audition.

I'm gonna blow
the doors off Star Search.

Oh, I know that's right.

I'm so proud of you!

Oh.
Good luck, Mom.

Oh, I'm gonna miss
you so much. Hmm.

I'll see you
in a few days, okay?

See you in a few days.
Well, hopefully not.

What do you mean?
I mean,

hopefully this is just
the beginning.

You kill the audition,
they put you on the show,

a label signs you,
you go on tour!

I mean, how cool
would that be?

Both of us on tour,
you with your music,

me with the WWF?

Okay, let's not get
ahead of ourselves.

But that's
the dream, right?

Right. I... I...

So, if we're on tour,
what about Dewey?

Uh, he'll split time
between me and you.

Sometimes he'll stay
with your mom.

We'll figure it out.

So, I just wouldn't
see him half the time?

No, no, not half.

You wouldn't see him, like,
40% of the time.

But... But don't worry about
that right now.

That's in the future.
This is just the beginning.

Yeah. It's just the
beginning. Mmm-hmm.

Okay.
All right, bye, baby.

I love you both so much.
Bye, Mom.

Now, you drive safe.
You got precious cargo.

Bye, babe. There she goes. Bye.

Bye!

All right. Show me those
punks who jumped you.

Let me tell you, if
you were ever jumped by a gang of bullies

you wanted Rocky Johnson
in your corner.

There they are.
Hey!

Heard y'all jumped my boy.

That's a bitch-ass move.

Eight against one.

Now, listen up.
My son

would kick the crap
out of any one of you

one-on-one, and
he'll do it right now.

Uh...

And I heard one of
y'all pulled a knife!

No one pulled
a knife on your...

You shut the hell up!

Y'all like knives, huh?

Well...

I got the knife now.

That's what I thought.

Dewey!
Get your board.

All right!
Dewey and Dewey's dad!

Sebi, are you okay?

I'm buried straight down,
but I'm fine.

I'm clapping right now.

You can't see, but I am.

Anytime, one-on-one.

Anytime.

Dad, that was amazing.

Bye, Dewey!
Thank you, Dew.

We believe in standing up
for ourselves in this family.

But sometimes, the fight
isn't always fair.

When that happens, know
I always got your back.

Dad, do you wanna
go boogie boarding with me?

No, son. You know I
don't like to get my hair wet.

Aloha. Flight
24 will be boarding shortly.

You into surfing?

Oh.

No, I just got my son one
of those, uh, boogie boards.

Uh, that'll be $6.50.

He's not here
with me. My son.

But I thought he'd like
the magazine when I get back.

I'm only gone a few days.

And, you know, if I have
to be gone longer next time,

we'll figure it out.

I mean, when I was growing up,
we traveled all the time.

My dad was a wrestler and
my mom and I were on the road

constantly with him,
and it was fine.

Of course, my mom
was always with me.

She was that steady presence.

I remember
that made me feel like

no matter where we were,

that was home.

That's sweet.

Please take the change
from my hand.

Mom? What are you
doing here?

I have bad news.

Star Search called
and changed their mind.

Really?

Wait, they called you
at the airport?

Yep. Announced it
over the loudspeaker.

Said they made a mistake
and accepted

too many talented people,

but they're gonna keep me
in mind for the future.

I'm sorry, Mom.

Are you sad?
No.

Because now I get
to be here with you.

Mmm.

Did you have some good
bonding time with your dad?

Yeah. We had fun
at the beach.

Is that a knife?
Let's sing a song together.

Sure.

Your favorite? Yeah.

Don't go
breaking my heart

I couldn't if I tried

Oh, honey,
if I get restless...

Baby, you're not that kind

Don't go breaking
my heart

Ultimately,
my mom decided the fight

to become a star could wait.

It wasn't worth losing
these moments with her family.

Francine, go pee-pee
for Mama.

No, don't lick my shoes.

Go pee-pee.

Hey, Lia.

Hey. Where's Dewey?

He's relaxing
at the hotel.

But I got these for you.

Ooh. Yao's boots.

Look how they glow
in the moonlight.

Ooh, look how the pores in
the leather accept the dye.

Mmm !

Anyway, how is everything?
You okay?

I think I finally got
everything under control.

Good.

'Cause Ata was worried
about some of the stuff

you were saying
at the restaurant.

I shouldn't have said
those things in front of her.

But, you know, Peter built
Polynesian Pacific Pro Wrestling.

And I won't let it
be torn down.

No one can question, you
are one badass woman, Lia.

Respected,
feared,

loathed,
and loved.

I like that.

Put it on a T-shirt.

Come on. Help me
put on my new boots.

Sometimes, when
you think a fight has just been won,

you find out it's only
just beginning.

Did you hear, FBI?
Did you get it?

We got her asking you
for a tribute fee,

which sounds to me
like extortion.

Yes, good!

So you can arrest her?
Yeah.

If we can get more,
we have a better chance

of making sure
the charges stick.

My
grandmother didn't know it,

but her biggest fight
was yet to come.

My whole life,
I've watched my family

fight to keep what's theirs,

fight to keep us together,

and fight to keep
their dreams alive.

And, as President,
I will follow their example,

and I will always fight
for the American people.

And that's what I hope
my legacy will be.

That was your
"quick story"?

You exceeded your allotted
time by, what, 20 minutes?

Yes. Thank you
very much.

Thank you,
candidate Johnson.

Let's move on
to the next question.

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