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http://hiqve.c
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http://hiqve.com
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http://hiqve.com/
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http://hiqve.com/
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Good evening.
I'm Randall Park.
20
00:00:09,931 --> 00:00:12,350
Candidate Dwayne Johnson
finds himself embroiled
21
00:00:12,433 --> 00:00:14,519
in controversy today
over the announcement
22
00:00:14,602 --> 00:00:16,312
of his Vice Presidential
running mate,
23
00:00:16,562 --> 00:00:18,272
General Monica Jackson.
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00:00:18,439 --> 00:00:19,524
As a West Point cadet,
25
00:00:19,607 --> 00:00:21,734
General Jackson wrote
a weekly humor column
26
00:00:21,817 --> 00:00:24,195
for the school newspaper
called Just Joking,
27
00:00:24,278 --> 00:00:25,655
where she offered up
28
00:00:25,738 --> 00:00:28,324
"Witticisms
of Mass Destruction".
29
00:00:28,741 --> 00:00:29,825
Yeah.
30
00:00:29,909 --> 00:00:32,537
Randall, we have vetted
General Jackson thoroughly,
31
00:00:32,620 --> 00:00:33,996
and I've seen her column.
32
00:00:34,080 --> 00:00:35,122
Even this one,
33
00:00:35,248 --> 00:00:38,501
where she calls UN
Secretary General Kofi Annan
34
00:00:38,584 --> 00:00:40,127
"a weak cup of Kofi"?
35
00:00:40,419 --> 00:00:41,837
Look, clearly she's not
my running mate
36
00:00:41,921 --> 00:00:43,089
for her sense of humor.
37
00:00:43,339 --> 00:00:46,092
She's here because we have
a shared vision for the country.
38
00:00:46,175 --> 00:00:47,843
Well, as someone who's
familiar with comedy
39
00:00:47,927 --> 00:00:49,178
from my acting days,
40
00:00:49,262 --> 00:00:50,972
I know how polarizing it can be.
41
00:00:51,389 --> 00:00:52,598
Amy Polarizing.
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00:00:53,140 --> 00:00:55,101
That's good !
Yeah.
43
00:00:55,184 --> 00:00:57,019
That is good. Get in
here. That's good. Okay.
44
00:00:57,103 --> 00:00:58,646
Thank you so much.
You're welcome.
45
00:00:58,729 --> 00:01:00,523
Awesome.
Uh, where you going?
46
00:01:01,607 --> 00:01:03,109
We still have an interview,
I think, right?
47
00:01:03,192 --> 00:01:05,861
Oh, oh, sorry. No, I...
I... I just got excited.
48
00:01:05,945 --> 00:01:07,029
Caught up in the moment.
49
00:01:07,113 --> 00:01:08,155
Yeah.
It was a good joke.
50
00:01:08,239 --> 00:01:09,282
Thank you,
thank you.
51
00:01:09,365 --> 00:01:11,742
Anyway, so certain factions
are calling on you
52
00:01:11,826 --> 00:01:13,494
to choose
a new running mate,
53
00:01:13,578 --> 00:01:15,288
saying that Jackson
lacks the credibility
54
00:01:15,371 --> 00:01:16,414
to be Vice President.
55
00:01:16,497 --> 00:01:18,291
Look, she's still my partner
in this thing,
56
00:01:18,374 --> 00:01:20,167
and I don't leave
my partners behind.
57
00:01:20,251 --> 00:01:22,003
Mmm.
Hopkins taught me that one.
58
00:01:22,128 --> 00:01:23,212
Hopkins?
Yeah.
59
00:01:23,296 --> 00:01:24,839
Yes, yes,
Hopkins, Hopkins.
60
00:01:24,922 --> 00:01:27,216
Your costar
in The Scorpion King, right?
61
00:01:27,300 --> 00:01:28,676
No one named Hopkins
on that one.
62
00:01:28,759 --> 00:01:31,345
Right, no, no.
That's not Hopkins.
63
00:01:32,138 --> 00:01:33,556
Hopkins was...
64
00:01:33,639 --> 00:01:34,724
You know, Randall,
it might be easier
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00:01:34,807 --> 00:01:36,017
if I just told you the story.
66
00:01:37,059 --> 00:01:38,227
Right.
67
00:01:38,311 --> 00:01:40,896
1991, I was playing football
for the University of Miami.
68
00:01:40,980 --> 00:01:42,273
Miami bass, bass, bass
69
00:01:42,356 --> 00:01:43,441
So I've been open
70
00:01:43,524 --> 00:01:46,152
about how badly I handled
my first semester of college,
71
00:01:46,819 --> 00:01:49,155
getting injured and almost
flunking out of school.
72
00:01:49,905 --> 00:01:51,574
I was spending
the off-season rehabbing
73
00:01:51,657 --> 00:01:53,159
and getting myself
back on track
74
00:01:53,242 --> 00:01:56,245
and ready for a new season
with new teammates.
75
00:01:56,412 --> 00:01:57,872
You Dwayne Johnson?
76
00:01:58,080 --> 00:02:00,291
Yeah, who's asking?
77
00:02:00,958 --> 00:02:03,419
Warren Sapp,
freshman tight end.
78
00:02:03,502 --> 00:02:06,255
Miami bass, bass,
bass, bass
79
00:02:06,756 --> 00:02:08,174
Future bench-press
record holder.
80
00:02:08,591 --> 00:02:10,217
Oh, you think
you got it?
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00:02:10,301 --> 00:02:12,011
Man, get your sharpie
ready.
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00:02:12,178 --> 00:02:13,804
Okay, freshman.
I don't want no excuses.
83
00:02:13,888 --> 00:02:15,139
I know you already
been working.
84
00:02:15,222 --> 00:02:16,349
Don't worry.
You won't hear any.
85
00:02:16,432 --> 00:02:18,684
Uh-huh.
Let's get it.
86
00:02:20,353 --> 00:02:22,438
This is so easy.
So easy.
87
00:02:22,521 --> 00:02:24,732
I'm thinking about what
I'm about to have for lunch.
88
00:02:24,815 --> 00:02:26,567
I wish I had a book.
I'd start reading it.
89
00:02:26,692 --> 00:02:27,860
I was
feeling strong,
90
00:02:27,985 --> 00:02:29,904
couldn't wait
for the next season to start.
91
00:02:29,987 --> 00:02:31,197
My parents were so excited,
92
00:02:31,280 --> 00:02:33,491
they even watched tapes
of our practice scrimmages.
93
00:02:33,574 --> 00:02:35,409
Whoo-hoo!
Something happen on that play?
94
00:02:35,493 --> 00:02:36,952
Yes, Dewey didn't
get hurt!
95
00:02:38,788 --> 00:02:42,833
Ooh, you know! Yeah,
you like that, Dewey?
96
00:02:43,125 --> 00:02:44,377
What about this?
97
00:02:50,174 --> 00:02:51,592
You know
what those grades mean?
98
00:02:51,676 --> 00:02:53,386
You're still
on academic probation.
99
00:02:53,719 --> 00:02:55,763
Coach O, how did you get
my grades? Aren't they private?
100
00:02:55,846 --> 00:02:58,641
Nothing's private from me,
son. This ain't no joke now.
101
00:02:58,724 --> 00:03:00,893
Not only do you need to get
these grades up,
102
00:03:00,976 --> 00:03:02,311
you need to show the school
your appreciativeness
103
00:03:02,395 --> 00:03:03,729
to even letting you play.
104
00:03:03,813 --> 00:03:05,231
Like compliment them
on the renovations
105
00:03:05,314 --> 00:03:07,274
they made to
the administration building.
106
00:03:08,109 --> 00:03:10,986
You are making me
so mad, Dwayne.
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00:03:11,070 --> 00:03:12,071
No!
108
00:03:12,905 --> 00:03:14,281
You need to volunteer.
109
00:03:14,365 --> 00:03:16,742
Do something to help
the university.
110
00:03:16,826 --> 00:03:18,327
Show them your dedication
to the school
111
00:03:18,411 --> 00:03:19,704
goes beyond football.
112
00:03:19,870 --> 00:03:20,996
Here.
113
00:03:23,040 --> 00:03:24,125
Call this guy.
114
00:03:24,333 --> 00:03:26,210
Tell him you want to help out
with campus security.
115
00:03:26,502 --> 00:03:28,754
This is real important,
Dewey. You can't mess this up.
116
00:03:29,088 --> 00:03:30,464
Uh, coach, this is your card.
117
00:03:31,006 --> 00:03:32,675
What? Oh.
118
00:03:32,758 --> 00:03:34,176
Kind of looks like me,
don't it?
119
00:03:34,969 --> 00:03:37,388
Yeah, I found that
on the clip art.
120
00:03:37,638 --> 00:03:39,056
There, that face.
121
00:03:39,140 --> 00:03:40,599
While I
was doing whatever I had to
122
00:03:40,683 --> 00:03:41,976
to keep playing football,
123
00:03:42,059 --> 00:03:43,936
my grandmother was returning
to the U. S.
124
00:03:44,019 --> 00:03:47,106
After years of exile in Samoa.
125
00:03:47,231 --> 00:03:48,399
Could you take
your hat off, please?
126
00:03:48,524 --> 00:03:50,317
Why?
It's obscuring your face.
127
00:03:50,609 --> 00:03:52,611
Are you hitting on me?
Ma'am.
128
00:03:53,112 --> 00:03:54,155
Fine.
129
00:03:54,655 --> 00:03:55,990
And where are you
coming from?
130
00:03:56,073 --> 00:03:59,285
Where am I coming from?
Hell, that's where.
131
00:03:59,368 --> 00:04:01,078
For almost
two years in Samoa,
132
00:04:01,287 --> 00:04:04,165
I was homeless and sleeping
on people's couches,
133
00:04:04,540 --> 00:04:07,626
and at night, I would stare
up in the stars,
134
00:04:07,710 --> 00:04:09,962
thinking about getting back
to my family,
135
00:04:10,045 --> 00:04:12,840
and then one day I heard
from my daughter.
136
00:04:12,923 --> 00:04:15,426
She told me that my grandson
had found a way
137
00:04:15,509 --> 00:04:17,303
to get me back
into the country.
138
00:04:17,386 --> 00:04:19,013
My prayers had been answered.
139
00:04:20,514 --> 00:04:23,434
Okay, so,
under "countries visited,"
140
00:04:23,517 --> 00:04:25,227
I'm just gonna put Samoa.
141
00:04:27,897 --> 00:04:29,231
Idiot.
142
00:04:29,815 --> 00:04:31,567
Stupid.
143
00:04:32,067 --> 00:04:33,402
Okay, wait.
I'm confused.
144
00:04:33,944 --> 00:04:35,613
How did you get her back
into the country
145
00:04:35,696 --> 00:04:37,364
if she was deported
by the federal government?
146
00:04:37,573 --> 00:04:40,367
Let's just say that I found
a little loophole in the law,
147
00:04:40,451 --> 00:04:42,203
and she became
a citizen again.
148
00:04:42,536 --> 00:04:43,996
Can I ask
a follow-up question?
149
00:04:44,079 --> 00:04:45,539
I wouldn't.
Just a quick one.
150
00:04:45,664 --> 00:04:47,041
Was Hopkins somehow involved
in all that?
151
00:04:47,166 --> 00:04:49,585
No, he wasn't.
I hadn't met Hopkins yet.
152
00:04:49,752 --> 00:04:50,795
I was about to.
153
00:04:50,878 --> 00:04:52,546
Coach's contact pulled through
154
00:04:52,630 --> 00:04:54,507
and helped me get a job
in campus security
155
00:04:54,715 --> 00:04:57,051
in a department called
"phone services".
156
00:04:57,259 --> 00:04:59,678
You'll be checking
the emergency phones on campus
157
00:04:59,762 --> 00:05:01,055
to make sure
they're operational.
158
00:05:01,180 --> 00:05:03,224
Okay, so I just have to--
Don't worry, I'm gonna have one
159
00:05:03,307 --> 00:05:05,476
of our most experienced
techs train you.
160
00:05:06,101 --> 00:05:07,478
Hopkins!
161
00:05:10,940 --> 00:05:12,942
Hopkins!
Hopkins!
162
00:05:13,025 --> 00:05:14,193
That's Hopkins.
That's Hopkins.
163
00:05:14,276 --> 00:05:15,736
Come on, give me some.
164
00:05:15,820 --> 00:05:17,822
All right, yes!
165
00:05:17,905 --> 00:05:19,323
Where you going? We're
still doing the interview.
166
00:05:19,406 --> 00:05:20,741
Oh, that's right.
You're totally right.
167
00:05:20,825 --> 00:05:21,867
That's right.
That's right.
168
00:05:22,076 --> 00:05:23,661
There we go.
Okay, sorry about that.
169
00:05:23,744 --> 00:05:24,995
It's okay.
Just got excited.
170
00:05:25,079 --> 00:05:27,081
It's Hopkins.
Hopkins!
171
00:05:27,164 --> 00:05:29,875
Hopkins, this is your new
partner, Dwayne Johnson.
172
00:05:30,084 --> 00:05:31,877
I don't need a partner.
I'm good, thanks.
173
00:05:31,961 --> 00:05:34,630
This isn't a choice, Hopkins.
This is an assignment.
174
00:05:36,799 --> 00:05:38,342
Get somebody else
to take him.
175
00:05:38,676 --> 00:05:39,718
I've got seniority,
for God sakes.
176
00:05:40,386 --> 00:05:41,887
Come on.
177
00:05:41,971 --> 00:05:42,972
Show Dwayne the ropes.
178
00:05:44,723 --> 00:05:46,475
Just eight months
to graduation.
179
00:05:48,102 --> 00:05:49,186
So we just check
the phone and...
180
00:05:49,270 --> 00:05:51,689
Okay, here's the deal.
None of that matters. All right?
181
00:05:51,772 --> 00:05:53,899
We write our names on that
sign-in sheet every morning,
182
00:05:53,983 --> 00:05:55,693
get the list of phones
we're supposed to check,
183
00:05:55,776 --> 00:05:57,653
then go home and watch movies
until it's time to sign out.
184
00:05:57,736 --> 00:05:59,363
What? But Justin
said that...
185
00:05:59,446 --> 00:06:02,324
He has to say that,
but he knows the deal.
186
00:06:02,408 --> 00:06:03,492
We look out for each other.
187
00:06:03,701 --> 00:06:05,870
Now that I've told you,
you're a part of that circle.
188
00:06:05,953 --> 00:06:08,706
Look, this job is keeping
me on the football field.
189
00:06:08,914 --> 00:06:11,125
If you're messing with my
chances to get to the NFL,
190
00:06:11,500 --> 00:06:12,543
I will kill you.
191
00:06:12,626 --> 00:06:14,628
Just take it easy,
big fella, all right?
192
00:06:14,712 --> 00:06:16,672
Just follow my lead,
and everything will be fine.
193
00:06:17,172 --> 00:06:20,134
The only thing I need to know
is, do you like action movies?
194
00:06:20,217 --> 00:06:21,760
Of course I like
action movies.
195
00:06:21,844 --> 00:06:24,179
Then welcome to the
greatest scam in college history.
196
00:06:29,476 --> 00:06:31,645
Whoa!
Yo, you sure about this?
197
00:06:31,729 --> 00:06:33,898
We just watch movies and
then go back and sign out
198
00:06:33,981 --> 00:06:35,149
at the end of our shift?
199
00:06:35,274 --> 00:06:36,984
You sure we don't have
to check any campus phones?
200
00:06:37,234 --> 00:06:39,737
Look here, man. I used to check
the phones like a good soldier
201
00:06:39,820 --> 00:06:42,114
my first few months here,
and you know what I found?
202
00:06:42,323 --> 00:06:44,700
They worked. If they
don't, somebody'd tell us.
203
00:06:44,783 --> 00:06:46,744
We're entirely unnecessary.
204
00:06:46,827 --> 00:06:50,080
Trust me, I've been doing this
a long time, almost a year.
205
00:06:55,461 --> 00:06:57,004
This flick is good.
206
00:06:57,338 --> 00:06:58,839
Not as good
as Schwarzenegger's...
207
00:06:58,923 --> 00:07:00,257
Best action star of all time.
208
00:07:00,341 --> 00:07:02,217
No, Stallone, all day.
209
00:07:02,301 --> 00:07:03,969
This isn't a debate.
It's a fact.
210
00:07:04,053 --> 00:07:07,181
Uh, it's a fact that my guy
could take your guy
211
00:07:07,264 --> 00:07:09,600
via land, sea, air,
and time.
212
00:07:09,975 --> 00:07:11,226
Say your daughter
gets kidnapped
213
00:07:11,310 --> 00:07:13,062
by a Latin American dictator.
Okay.
214
00:07:13,145 --> 00:07:15,439
You can send one guy to
save her, who do you pick?
215
00:07:15,522 --> 00:07:16,565
Rambo.
Mmm-mmm.
216
00:07:16,649 --> 00:07:18,442
He's experienced
in tropical environments.
217
00:07:18,525 --> 00:07:20,027
He's escaped a POW Camp.
218
00:07:20,110 --> 00:07:21,862
He knows how to deal
with a loose cannon.
219
00:07:21,946 --> 00:07:24,698
Rambo knows Vietnam.
He doesn't know South America.
220
00:07:24,865 --> 00:07:26,325
And, yeah, he escaped
a POW Camp,
221
00:07:26,408 --> 00:07:27,826
but he lost his best friends
in the process.
222
00:07:27,910 --> 00:07:29,244
'Cause he was
double-crossed!
223
00:07:29,453 --> 00:07:30,621
Schwarzenegger
doesn't make excuses.
224
00:07:30,704 --> 00:07:32,247
Oh, but I'm sure you will
for Red Sonja.
225
00:07:32,456 --> 00:07:34,875
Two beautiful foreigners
with swords getting revenge?
226
00:07:35,209 --> 00:07:36,251
I don't see a problem.
227
00:07:36,585 --> 00:07:37,711
Ooh!
228
00:07:40,089 --> 00:07:41,131
Here we are!
229
00:07:42,675 --> 00:07:44,969
Why are these so heavy?
230
00:07:45,052 --> 00:07:46,762
It's the wood
for my carvings.
231
00:07:47,179 --> 00:07:49,181
So, we have
a surprise.
232
00:07:49,348 --> 00:07:50,766
We've called some
of the old crew,
233
00:07:50,849 --> 00:07:52,142
and they're all
coming to town.
234
00:07:52,226 --> 00:07:54,061
We're throwing you a
barbecue this weekend.
235
00:07:54,520 --> 00:07:55,854
Who's gonna man the grill?
236
00:07:56,647 --> 00:07:58,190
Why is that everyone's
first question?
237
00:07:58,273 --> 00:07:59,858
Who cares who mans the grill?
238
00:08:00,693 --> 00:08:02,611
Ah, Dewey.
239
00:08:02,695 --> 00:08:04,405
I can't wait to see him.
240
00:08:04,655 --> 00:08:06,281
Won't be long
before you're able to see him
241
00:08:06,365 --> 00:08:08,575
play football on TV
on Saturday.
242
00:08:08,742 --> 00:08:10,744
You hear that, High Chief?
243
00:08:10,869 --> 00:08:14,707
Your grandson, big star,
playing football on TV.
244
00:08:14,999 --> 00:08:16,000
How much he get paid?
245
00:08:16,583 --> 00:08:17,960
Nothing. They don't
get paid in college.
246
00:08:18,335 --> 00:08:21,463
Stupid. You made me bore
the High Chief with stupid news?
247
00:08:21,547 --> 00:08:23,507
You know how busy he is
in heaven?
248
00:08:23,882 --> 00:08:25,592
You son of a bitch.
249
00:08:28,303 --> 00:08:31,473
He's no Stallone, but your guy
Schwarzenegger can deliver a catchphrase.
250
00:08:31,598 --> 00:08:32,683
Hell, yeah, he can.
251
00:08:32,850 --> 00:08:34,601
Get to the chopper. Get to the chopper.
252
00:08:34,685 --> 00:08:36,437
Get to the chopper.
Get to the chopper.
253
00:08:36,520 --> 00:08:38,522
Get to the chopper!
Get to the chopper!
254
00:08:38,605 --> 00:08:40,149
Yeah!
255
00:08:40,274 --> 00:08:42,067
Oh, there it is,
there it is. It's coming, it's coming.
256
00:08:42,151 --> 00:08:44,069
Oh !
Yes!
257
00:08:53,203 --> 00:08:54,580
Watch this.
258
00:08:54,663 --> 00:08:56,206
Oh !
Ahhh!
259
00:08:57,708 --> 00:09:00,419
You've never walked
You've never run
260
00:09:00,502 --> 00:09:03,464
You're a winner
261
00:09:03,547 --> 00:09:04,798
Kill me! I'm here!
262
00:09:04,882 --> 00:09:07,342
Come on, do it now!
Kill me!
263
00:09:11,972 --> 00:09:13,474
You have to cut
the ground wire.
264
00:09:13,557 --> 00:09:16,477
It's the blue wire
with the white stripe.
265
00:09:16,560 --> 00:09:19,146
You got the power
266
00:09:19,271 --> 00:09:20,314
Yes!
267
00:09:20,397 --> 00:09:21,398
You got the touch
268
00:09:23,192 --> 00:09:24,860
You see, the mud
is what protects you.
269
00:09:24,943 --> 00:09:27,071
No, I don't... I would've
seen him regardless.
270
00:09:27,321 --> 00:09:29,031
It's invisibility.
You would not have seen him.
271
00:09:29,114 --> 00:09:30,449
Bro, you don't know my powers.
272
00:09:30,532 --> 00:09:33,869
Says here all the phones
are in working order.
273
00:09:34,453 --> 00:09:35,537
You sure about that?
274
00:09:35,621 --> 00:09:36,872
Of course
we're sure.
275
00:09:37,456 --> 00:09:39,124
I was gonna say,
"We have Total Recall."
276
00:09:39,208 --> 00:09:41,001
Here you go. YOUNG
DWAYNE: That's hilarious.
277
00:09:42,753 --> 00:09:44,171
Have a good one.
278
00:09:47,132 --> 00:09:48,967
You guys better hope
those phones are working.
279
00:09:49,051 --> 00:09:51,845
That was Amanda Chavez from
HQ. She's doing quality control.
280
00:09:51,970 --> 00:09:53,806
What do you mean
quality control?
281
00:09:53,889 --> 00:09:55,557
She's checking the phones.
282
00:09:55,641 --> 00:09:56,683
She's got
your checklist,
283
00:09:56,767 --> 00:09:58,102
and she's gonna
make sure it's accurate.
284
00:09:58,185 --> 00:10:00,437
You said no one ever checks.
They don't.
285
00:10:00,521 --> 00:10:02,523
They never do.
Well, they are now.
286
00:10:02,606 --> 00:10:04,274
Amanda Chavez is checking
your work,
287
00:10:04,358 --> 00:10:05,984
and if anything's off,
we're all screwed.
288
00:10:06,235 --> 00:10:07,402
Oh, I can't mess this up.
289
00:10:07,528 --> 00:10:10,197
My football career, my life
is on the line.
290
00:10:10,280 --> 00:10:11,949
And I'm saving up
for a Sega Genesis.
291
00:10:12,449 --> 00:10:13,617
Then you need to get
to those phones
292
00:10:13,700 --> 00:10:15,536
before Amanda Chavez does.
293
00:10:18,413 --> 00:10:19,873
Do not screw this up!
294
00:10:20,874 --> 00:10:23,752
God help us if Chavez is
wearing her comfortable heels.
295
00:10:29,633 --> 00:10:31,218
Move, move, move, move!
296
00:10:31,301 --> 00:10:32,511
Whoa!
Excuse me!
297
00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:35,222
Hey!
Sorry, sorry!
298
00:10:39,143 --> 00:10:40,144
She's halfway
to the first phone.
299
00:10:41,103 --> 00:10:42,896
How are we gonna beat her
there without her seeing us?
300
00:10:43,063 --> 00:10:45,232
What if we go this way?
Jump the arboretum wall?
301
00:10:45,315 --> 00:10:46,358
That bitch is eight feet high!
302
00:10:46,441 --> 00:10:47,651
Or we could go
through the natatorium.
303
00:10:47,943 --> 00:10:49,361
Pool. Man, the lifeguards
will make us walk.
304
00:10:49,444 --> 00:10:50,821
Well, the arboretum
or the natatorium?
305
00:10:50,946 --> 00:10:52,865
Um... The arboretum
or the natatorium?
306
00:10:52,948 --> 00:10:54,199
Make the call !
The arboretum!
307
00:10:54,283 --> 00:10:55,492
Okay.
308
00:11:01,039 --> 00:11:02,291
All right, it works.
309
00:11:03,500 --> 00:11:05,460
Hey, Hopkins, look.
310
00:11:06,336 --> 00:11:07,421
What's
she doing over there?
311
00:11:07,504 --> 00:11:08,589
She changed
her route.
312
00:11:08,672 --> 00:11:10,507
She's headed to the phone
by the library.
313
00:11:14,553 --> 00:11:15,554
Damn it!
314
00:11:15,637 --> 00:11:17,222
It doesn't make any sense.
Why would she do that?
315
00:11:17,306 --> 00:11:18,724
We're dealing
with a loose cannon.
316
00:11:18,807 --> 00:11:21,101
She's heading to the
phone on the other side of the Plaza.
317
00:11:21,351 --> 00:11:23,687
She's almost there. What do we
do?
318
00:11:24,688 --> 00:11:25,856
I got an idea.
319
00:11:25,939 --> 00:11:28,275
You move those cones and
reroute the band to block her.
320
00:11:28,358 --> 00:11:30,360
I'm gonna cut through the
building to beat her there.
321
00:11:44,374 --> 00:11:46,293
Oh, uh...
322
00:11:51,757 --> 00:11:53,592
It's up to you now, Johnson.
323
00:11:53,926 --> 00:11:57,888
Today we're gonna be talking
about electromagnetic force.
324
00:12:01,058 --> 00:12:02,976
Excuse me,
can we help you?
325
00:12:03,101 --> 00:12:04,686
Uh, no need, all good.
326
00:12:04,811 --> 00:12:06,230
What is your name?
327
00:12:06,438 --> 00:12:07,606
Warren Sapp!
328
00:12:21,662 --> 00:12:24,665
Where have all the good
men gone?
329
00:12:24,748 --> 00:12:27,626
And where are
all the Gods?
330
00:12:27,709 --> 00:12:29,294
Where's
the streetwise Hercules
331
00:12:30,545 --> 00:12:32,714
To fight the rising odds?
332
00:12:34,466 --> 00:12:39,680
Isn't there a white knight
upon a fiery steed?
333
00:12:40,847 --> 00:12:43,225
Late at night,
I toss and I turn
334
00:12:43,308 --> 00:12:45,852
And I dream of what I need
335
00:12:46,311 --> 00:12:48,355
I need a hero
336
00:12:48,689 --> 00:12:52,693
I'm holding out for a hero
till the morning light
337
00:12:52,859 --> 00:12:55,654
He's got to be sure
and it's got to be soon
338
00:12:55,737 --> 00:12:58,532
And he's got to be larger
than life
339
00:12:58,657 --> 00:12:59,992
Hopkins.
What?
340
00:13:00,075 --> 00:13:01,285
Put your feet down.
341
00:13:03,745 --> 00:13:04,955
Oh.
342
00:13:12,462 --> 00:13:14,589
Thank you, baby.
Thank you.
343
00:13:14,673 --> 00:13:15,882
I know this sounds crazy,
344
00:13:15,966 --> 00:13:17,551
but I think I might grill up
some peaches.
345
00:13:19,219 --> 00:13:21,930
Is she making peach burgers?
Mmm-hmm.
346
00:13:22,014 --> 00:13:24,391
Lia, you wouldn't believe
how much beef jerky
347
00:13:24,474 --> 00:13:26,810
they make me eat when I shoot
one of those commercials.
348
00:13:26,893 --> 00:13:28,312
Guess how much.
349
00:13:28,979 --> 00:13:30,022
One hundred pounds?
350
00:13:30,105 --> 00:13:31,606
One hundred p...
351
00:13:31,732 --> 00:13:33,358
No, now, that is a crazy
amount of jerky.
352
00:13:34,151 --> 00:13:36,278
Thirty-eight sticks, yeah.
353
00:13:36,361 --> 00:13:37,446
Ooh.
Thirty-eight.
354
00:13:37,529 --> 00:13:39,698
I once ate 38 eggs
in a day.
355
00:13:39,781 --> 00:13:42,117
Ah, well, there ain't no
money in eggs, my brother,
356
00:13:42,200 --> 00:13:45,704
but beef jerky did pay
for my lambo.
357
00:13:47,622 --> 00:13:49,124
Ooh, yeah!
358
00:13:49,291 --> 00:13:51,418
Billy Crystal told me to
buy two Lamborghinis
359
00:13:51,585 --> 00:13:53,628
and use them as roller skates.
360
00:13:53,712 --> 00:13:55,464
I'm so glad
you called me, Lia.
361
00:13:55,547 --> 00:13:58,467
I didn't think you were ever gonna
forgive me for going with Greg Yao.
362
00:13:58,550 --> 00:13:59,676
It's funny.
363
00:13:59,801 --> 00:14:02,346
I used to care about things
like that,
364
00:14:02,596 --> 00:14:05,640
but my time in Samoa...
365
00:14:05,891 --> 00:14:08,310
Mom, you get the first burger
off the grill.
366
00:14:09,227 --> 00:14:11,563
Thank you, darling.
I'm not hungry.
367
00:14:12,397 --> 00:14:14,900
You okay, Lia?
You don't seem like yourself.
368
00:14:14,983 --> 00:14:16,068
What's the matter?
369
00:14:16,151 --> 00:14:19,446
Me.
I'm the matter.
370
00:14:19,571 --> 00:14:21,948
In Samoa, I had a
lot of time to think,
371
00:14:22,115 --> 00:14:25,494
and I realized the most
important thing is family.
372
00:14:25,911 --> 00:14:27,621
Nothing else matters.
373
00:14:27,871 --> 00:14:29,998
Now that I've come home,
374
00:14:30,540 --> 00:14:32,626
I see how I failed my family.
375
00:14:33,168 --> 00:14:34,461
Mama, you didn't fail us.
376
00:14:34,544 --> 00:14:37,255
I wanted to keep
Peter's dream alive,
377
00:14:37,339 --> 00:14:40,550
his business was our legacy.
And I didn't do that.
378
00:14:40,842 --> 00:14:42,469
He shouldn't have
left it to me.
379
00:14:42,552 --> 00:14:43,929
Oh, no, don't say that.
Don't say that.
380
00:14:44,012 --> 00:14:45,472
No, it's true.
381
00:14:45,555 --> 00:14:49,101
I mean, we live in a
two-bedroom apartment in Tonka.
382
00:14:49,184 --> 00:14:50,602
- Tampa.
- Lia.
383
00:14:50,685 --> 00:14:53,730
You gave me a place to stay
when I had nowhere else to go.
384
00:14:53,814 --> 00:14:54,898
I'll never forget that.
385
00:14:54,981 --> 00:14:57,818
Playing cards in your kitchen was
some of the best times of my life.
386
00:14:58,068 --> 00:15:00,445
Auntie, you loaned us money
and helped us get started,
387
00:15:00,529 --> 00:15:02,781
Remember?
And I completely betrayed you,
388
00:15:03,073 --> 00:15:04,408
but you still found it
in your heart
389
00:15:04,491 --> 00:15:05,909
to welcome me back
to the family.
390
00:15:06,118 --> 00:15:07,536
When Peter was alive,
391
00:15:08,161 --> 00:15:10,163
I never did see
the wrestling business as his.
392
00:15:10,247 --> 00:15:12,791
He needed you, Baba,
same as you needed him.
393
00:15:12,874 --> 00:15:15,419
Peter would have been proud
of the way you fought for us.
394
00:15:16,878 --> 00:15:18,588
To Lia and Peter.
395
00:15:18,672 --> 00:15:20,966
Lia and Peter.
396
00:15:21,675 --> 00:15:23,009
Thank you, boys.
397
00:15:23,093 --> 00:15:25,595
Now, can someone get me
a hamburger? I'm starving.
398
00:15:25,762 --> 00:15:27,180
Mom, your
hamburger's right here!
399
00:15:27,264 --> 00:15:29,683
Oh, right,
right, right.
400
00:15:30,434 --> 00:15:34,271
You know, I am full on the
love and the well wishes.
401
00:15:37,441 --> 00:15:38,984
Who wants
a peach burger?
402
00:15:39,234 --> 00:15:41,611
Come on, Randy,
you get in there.
403
00:15:46,616 --> 00:15:47,784
Got eyes on Chavez.
404
00:15:47,868 --> 00:15:49,536
She stopped for a coffee break
at the student center.
405
00:15:49,619 --> 00:15:51,538
We should have plenty of time
to check this last phone.
406
00:15:51,621 --> 00:15:53,081
Let's get it done, son.
We got this.
407
00:15:57,085 --> 00:15:59,337
No!
408
00:16:01,381 --> 00:16:02,924
Hopkins, can you hear me?
409
00:16:03,008 --> 00:16:04,551
Hopkins!
I hear you, man!
410
00:16:04,634 --> 00:16:06,428
It's my leg, not my ears!
411
00:16:06,678 --> 00:16:08,263
Come on, get up.
I can't.
412
00:16:08,388 --> 00:16:09,764
My leg is busted.
Just go, all right?
413
00:16:09,848 --> 00:16:11,266
Just leave me.
I'm not gonna leave you.
414
00:16:11,558 --> 00:16:13,768
Would Tango leave
Cash? You can't risk it.
415
00:16:13,894 --> 00:16:16,271
You need
this job for football.
416
00:16:16,354 --> 00:16:19,107
And you, you need
that Sega Genesis.
417
00:16:19,232 --> 00:16:21,026
Now come on.
418
00:16:36,041 --> 00:16:38,335
Phone services.
I'm commandeering this cart.
419
00:16:46,676 --> 00:16:49,346
Johnson, no, don't do it!
Don't do it! Are you crazy?
420
00:16:49,429 --> 00:16:50,514
Look out, look out!
421
00:16:50,597 --> 00:16:52,557
Oh !
422
00:16:57,229 --> 00:16:59,564
Yes!
We did it.
423
00:17:01,733 --> 00:17:05,028
Oh, man, I'm thinking
we need to frame this.
424
00:17:05,987 --> 00:17:09,407
Wait.
What the hell is that?
425
00:17:09,491 --> 00:17:10,909
There's one more phone,
426
00:17:10,992 --> 00:17:12,160
and it's in
the student center.
427
00:17:12,244 --> 00:17:14,454
That's why Chavez
went there first.
428
00:17:14,621 --> 00:17:16,331
She wasn't on
a coffee break.
429
00:17:16,414 --> 00:17:17,666
She went to check
that phone.
430
00:17:18,708 --> 00:17:20,043
You need to get to it
before she does.
431
00:17:20,126 --> 00:17:21,211
There's no way.
432
00:17:21,294 --> 00:17:22,879
The path goes all the way
around the quad.
433
00:17:22,963 --> 00:17:24,047
It'll take ten minutes.
434
00:17:24,214 --> 00:17:25,757
Not if you cut across
on foot.
435
00:17:25,924 --> 00:17:28,218
I've got my walkie. I'll be
with you the whole way.
436
00:17:31,596 --> 00:17:33,098
Phone steam ahead.
437
00:17:33,765 --> 00:17:35,600
What?
It's word play.
438
00:17:53,535 --> 00:17:55,495
She hasn't checked it yet.
439
00:17:58,832 --> 00:18:00,542
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
440
00:18:00,834 --> 00:18:01,918
Damn it!
441
00:18:04,462 --> 00:18:06,631
Hopkins.
Hopkins, you there?
442
00:18:06,923 --> 00:18:08,383
Johnson, what's happening
in there?
443
00:18:08,466 --> 00:18:11,261
The phone is dead.
I don't have much time.
444
00:18:11,511 --> 00:18:12,971
Chavez is almost done
with her coffee.
445
00:18:13,054 --> 00:18:14,472
Hang on, Johnson.
446
00:18:16,850 --> 00:18:18,685
Come on, pick up the phone.
447
00:18:18,768 --> 00:18:20,270
Emergency services,
this is Justin.
448
00:18:20,353 --> 00:18:22,564
Justin, it's Hopkins.
We've got a broken phone.
449
00:18:22,647 --> 00:18:23,690
What do we do?
I don't know.
450
00:18:23,773 --> 00:18:24,983
It could be a million things.
451
00:18:25,066 --> 00:18:26,151
Just give us a fix, damn it!
452
00:18:26,568 --> 00:18:29,362
Okay, look, nine times
out of ten, it's the wiring.
453
00:18:29,988 --> 00:18:31,740
Try to unscrew
the receiver end.
454
00:18:32,365 --> 00:18:34,242
Johnson,
unscrew the receiver.
455
00:18:34,492 --> 00:18:35,744
Right.
456
00:18:39,581 --> 00:18:40,915
Okay.
What's next?
457
00:18:40,999 --> 00:18:42,751
There should be
four connected wires...
458
00:18:43,126 --> 00:18:46,004
Blue, white,
orange, and black.
459
00:18:46,087 --> 00:18:47,213
Do you see those?
460
00:18:47,464 --> 00:18:48,798
Do you see four wires?
461
00:18:48,882 --> 00:18:51,509
Blue, white,
orange, and black.
462
00:18:52,093 --> 00:18:53,928
Yes, but the blue one
and the orange one
463
00:18:54,012 --> 00:18:55,430
aren't connected to anything.
464
00:18:55,513 --> 00:18:57,432
The blue one and the orange
one aren't connected to anything.
465
00:18:57,515 --> 00:19:00,018
Okay, blue wire goes
to the battery.
466
00:19:00,268 --> 00:19:02,812
Orange one goes
to the terminal strip.
467
00:19:03,021 --> 00:19:04,022
Blue wire to the battery,
468
00:19:04,272 --> 00:19:05,523
orange one
to the terminal strip.
469
00:19:05,649 --> 00:19:07,484
Wait, what's
the terminal strip?
470
00:19:07,567 --> 00:19:09,736
Isn't that the shady
strip club by the airport?
471
00:19:12,489 --> 00:19:13,740
Damn it,
she's heading over.
472
00:19:13,823 --> 00:19:16,284
Johnson?
473
00:19:16,743 --> 00:19:18,203
Johnson !
Hopkins!
474
00:19:21,831 --> 00:19:23,041
Okay.
475
00:19:23,124 --> 00:19:24,334
Blue wire
to the battery.
476
00:19:26,002 --> 00:19:27,545
Which one's the battery?
477
00:19:27,629 --> 00:19:29,923
You got this, Johnson.
Here goes nothing.
478
00:20:00,704 --> 00:20:01,788
We did it!
479
00:20:03,623 --> 00:20:04,833
Yes!
480
00:20:07,460 --> 00:20:09,963
Heard the Gulf War
is going well.
481
00:20:11,631 --> 00:20:13,383
Whoa, that was intense.
482
00:20:13,508 --> 00:20:14,884
Bet your ass
it was intense, Randall.
483
00:20:14,968 --> 00:20:16,636
My life has been intense.
484
00:20:17,053 --> 00:20:19,347
That's why I surround myself
with people I trust.
485
00:20:19,431 --> 00:20:21,266
When times are tough,
you don't get rid of them.
486
00:20:21,474 --> 00:20:22,976
You weather out
the storm together.
487
00:20:23,059 --> 00:20:25,478
So, is Hopkins
still in your life?
488
00:20:25,562 --> 00:20:27,939
Oh, yeah ! Yeah, we're in
a football pool together.
489
00:20:28,064 --> 00:20:29,607
That's beautiful.
490
00:20:29,733 --> 00:20:30,734
So, before we go,
491
00:20:30,817 --> 00:20:32,694
do you have any final thoughts
about General Jackson?
492
00:20:32,986 --> 00:20:35,238
I know, without hesitation,
that when the chips are down,
493
00:20:35,321 --> 00:20:37,907
I want General Monica Jackson
by my side.
494
00:20:38,408 --> 00:20:41,453
She is a fighter, she's tough,
and she never gives up,
495
00:20:41,536 --> 00:20:43,079
and I have her back.
496
00:20:43,163 --> 00:20:44,164
And when we need it most,
497
00:20:44,247 --> 00:20:45,790
she's gonna have
America's back as well.
498
00:20:46,207 --> 00:20:48,334
General Jackson,
how much does it mean
499
00:20:48,418 --> 00:20:51,129
to hear Mr. Johnson defend you
through these tough times?
500
00:20:51,337 --> 00:20:53,548
It means that we have
a presidential candidate
501
00:20:53,631 --> 00:20:55,717
with integrity and character.
502
00:20:56,426 --> 00:21:00,013
And I can't think of a better
person to lead our country.
503
00:21:00,096 --> 00:21:01,473
And all this chatter
504
00:21:01,556 --> 00:21:04,726
about my college
newspaper column
505
00:21:05,018 --> 00:21:08,313
has really got my comedy
juices flowing again.
506
00:21:09,272 --> 00:21:12,942
What? Here's my top ten
reasons why Dwayne Johnson
507
00:21:13,026 --> 00:21:14,110
will be a great leader.
508
00:21:14,194 --> 00:21:17,572
Number ten, he will
never take you for granite.
509
00:21:17,739 --> 00:21:20,325
Number nine, he rocks.
510
00:21:20,408 --> 00:21:22,452
Number eight...
How many more are there?
511
00:21:23,328 --> 00:21:24,370
Eight.
512
00:21:24,662 --> 00:21:25,705
Right.
513
00:21:25,789 --> 00:21:27,999
Power to the pebble.
Number seven.
514
00:21:28,023 --> 00:21:33,023
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