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http://
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http://h
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http://hi
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http://hiq
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http://hiqv
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http://hiqve
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http://hiqve.
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http://hiqve.c
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http://hiqve.co
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http://hiqve.com
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http://hiqve.com/
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http://hiqve.com/
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Good afternoon.
I'm Randall Park,
20
00:00:16,062 --> 00:00:17,813
live at the campaign
headquarters
21
00:00:17,897 --> 00:00:20,483
of presidential candidate
Dwayne Johnson.
22
00:00:21,025 --> 00:00:22,276
Randall, it's good
to have you here, buddy.
23
00:00:22,360 --> 00:00:24,529
Well, it's all
my "plejure." Pleasure.
24
00:00:24,654 --> 00:00:27,073
Did I say "plejure"?
25
00:00:27,448 --> 00:00:29,242
Uh, yeah,
can we do that over?
26
00:00:29,325 --> 00:00:30,493
I just needed
a second to warm up.
27
00:00:30,660 --> 00:00:32,745
Mmm-hmm, we're live.
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00:00:32,828 --> 00:00:35,081
Oh.
29
00:00:35,164 --> 00:00:38,417
Yes, of course,
we are live.
30
00:00:38,626 --> 00:00:41,754
It's been a while
since my live theater days,
31
00:00:41,837 --> 00:00:44,215
since I played Mercutio
in Romeo and Juliet.
32
00:00:44,298 --> 00:00:46,884
"True, I talk of dreams,
which are the children
33
00:00:46,968 --> 00:00:48,594
"of an idle brain,
34
00:00:48,719 --> 00:00:52,932
"begot of nothing
but vain fantasy."
35
00:00:54,892 --> 00:00:57,562
Yes, yes.
"And thusly the night."
36
00:00:57,895 --> 00:01:00,481
I had the skull,
and I was, like,
37
00:01:00,565 --> 00:01:02,608
"Uh, you're a skull."
38
00:01:02,984 --> 00:01:04,694
We're live.
We're... We're live.
39
00:01:04,777 --> 00:01:06,320
We're still live.
Ye... Oh, yes.
40
00:01:06,404 --> 00:01:07,822
We are still live.
That's right.
41
00:01:07,905 --> 00:01:10,032
So, we've heard rumblings
that you're close
42
00:01:10,116 --> 00:01:11,534
to choosing your VP.
43
00:01:11,617 --> 00:01:13,327
We're very excited
to make that announcement.
44
00:01:13,411 --> 00:01:14,787
Pretty soon
we're gonna tell America.
45
00:01:15,037 --> 00:01:16,622
So what are
the important qualities
46
00:01:16,706 --> 00:01:18,040
that you're looking for
in a running mate?
47
00:01:18,916 --> 00:01:21,419
Do you remember that story
I told you about the incident?
48
00:01:21,502 --> 00:01:23,087
The one with
Jack Black and the cows.
49
00:01:23,421 --> 00:01:24,714
Can't get it out of my mind.
50
00:01:24,797 --> 00:01:26,340
Not that one,
although that's a great story.
51
00:01:26,424 --> 00:01:27,842
I'm talking about the one
where I punched that kid
52
00:01:27,925 --> 00:01:29,427
in high school.
Yes.
53
00:01:29,677 --> 00:01:32,555
I will never forget it.
I was 15 years old,
54
00:01:32,638 --> 00:01:34,724
and clearly
I was no angel.
55
00:01:34,932 --> 00:01:37,685
But up until that time, I'd
always kept my bad behavior
56
00:01:37,768 --> 00:01:40,479
away from my parents.
Not this time.
57
00:01:40,563 --> 00:01:42,565
My dad was away
at a wrestling convention,
58
00:01:42,648 --> 00:01:44,233
and my mom found out.
59
00:01:44,567 --> 00:01:45,985
Keep those
knees up, Jazzers!
60
00:01:46,068 --> 00:01:47,903
Everyone's watching
61
00:01:47,987 --> 00:01:50,197
Ata, I can't believe
this is your first class.
62
00:01:50,615 --> 00:01:52,033
You're a natural.
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00:01:52,116 --> 00:01:53,534
To see what you will do
64
00:01:53,618 --> 00:01:54,660
I'm dying.
65
00:01:54,744 --> 00:01:55,828
Everyone's trying
66
00:01:55,911 --> 00:02:00,082
To get it right
Get it right
67
00:02:00,416 --> 00:02:03,836
Everybody's working
for the weekend
68
00:02:05,171 --> 00:02:06,714
Principal Bogg,
I'm shocked.
69
00:02:06,797 --> 00:02:08,716
Dewey has never done
anything like this in his life.
70
00:02:08,799 --> 00:02:10,051
He's a good boy.
71
00:02:10,134 --> 00:02:12,553
No one is more
shocked than me.
72
00:02:12,637 --> 00:02:15,139
I thought for sure
Dwayne was an undercover cop.
73
00:02:15,222 --> 00:02:17,850
I was this close to asking him
to an Eagles game.
74
00:02:18,392 --> 00:02:20,186
So what
exactly happened?
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00:02:20,269 --> 00:02:21,437
I was provoked.
76
00:02:21,520 --> 00:02:23,689
Wrestling's all fake anyway.
77
00:02:23,773 --> 00:02:25,900
Oh!
78
00:02:26,233 --> 00:02:28,110
Never use the "F" word.
79
00:02:28,611 --> 00:02:30,071
Well, that's
one side of the story.
80
00:02:30,154 --> 00:02:32,865
Normally, we'd get the other
side from the boy he hit,
81
00:02:32,948 --> 00:02:34,200
but he was rushed
to the hospital.
82
00:02:34,283 --> 00:02:36,118
Oh, my God !
Well, not rushed.
83
00:02:36,202 --> 00:02:38,037
He was taken
at a comfortable speed.
84
00:02:38,537 --> 00:02:40,790
Sort of a relaxed urgency,
wouldn't you say, Helen?
85
00:02:40,956 --> 00:02:43,042
I'd say more
composed than relaxed.
86
00:02:43,292 --> 00:02:45,711
Composed urgency. Are
you sure it was Dewey?
87
00:02:45,795 --> 00:02:47,546
The victim ID'd him.
88
00:02:47,630 --> 00:02:50,758
Is your attacker
in this lineup?
89
00:02:51,050 --> 00:02:52,134
That one.
90
00:02:52,218 --> 00:02:53,219
The ogre.
91
00:02:53,302 --> 00:02:54,720
You know we can
hear you, right?
92
00:02:54,845 --> 00:02:57,181
I guess we can just
call people ogres now.
93
00:02:57,306 --> 00:03:01,143
I'm afraid I'm gonna have to
suspend Dwayne for a week.
94
00:03:01,602 --> 00:03:05,064
I can assure you, nothing
like this will ever happen again.
95
00:03:05,356 --> 00:03:06,774
Right, Dewey?
96
00:03:06,941 --> 00:03:08,859
Where'd you
get those pants?
97
00:03:09,527 --> 00:03:10,695
Uh...
98
00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:17,243
In P. E. class.
99
00:03:17,326 --> 00:03:18,703
We had a push-up contest,
100
00:03:18,786 --> 00:03:19,954
and the winner
got Girbaud jeans.
101
00:03:20,287 --> 00:03:23,290
Specifically that pair or did
you have to give your size?
102
00:03:23,374 --> 00:03:25,501
You know what, forget it.
I don't have the energy.
103
00:03:25,626 --> 00:03:28,587
Get your homework for
the week. I'll be outside.
104
00:03:28,963 --> 00:03:30,965
Ow, my legs.
105
00:03:33,175 --> 00:03:34,885
Dude, this is a
huge moment for you.
106
00:03:35,428 --> 00:03:38,222
What do you mean? Fine-Ass Karen
liked that you punched Kevin, man.
107
00:03:38,305 --> 00:03:40,099
Said it made her feel like
Cherry from Outsiders.
108
00:03:40,182 --> 00:03:41,600
For real?
Like, she told you that?
109
00:03:41,684 --> 00:03:43,060
Well, not exactly.
110
00:03:43,227 --> 00:03:44,729
Karen wrote a note
that she gave to Bonnie,
111
00:03:44,812 --> 00:03:46,522
and Bonnie gave that note
to me to give to you,
112
00:03:46,605 --> 00:03:47,940
and as you know,
I'm a Curious George,
113
00:03:48,274 --> 00:03:50,943
so I read it immediately
before handing it to you
114
00:03:51,026 --> 00:03:53,237
right now.
115
00:03:53,446 --> 00:03:54,864
"That punch was hot.
116
00:03:54,947 --> 00:03:57,241
"If you want, you can buy me a
present and take me to dinner.
117
00:03:57,324 --> 00:03:58,826
"OO. Those are just the hugs.
118
00:03:59,160 --> 00:04:01,078
"If you want the XX kisses,
119
00:04:01,162 --> 00:04:02,246
"let's see that gift.
120
00:04:02,496 --> 00:04:04,540
"Karen."
121
00:04:04,749 --> 00:04:05,791
I memorized it.
122
00:04:05,958 --> 00:04:07,126
She thinks I'm rich,
123
00:04:07,209 --> 00:04:09,170
so I gotta
get her a dope present.
124
00:04:09,545 --> 00:04:11,046
Come with me to the mall
later, help me find one?
125
00:04:11,130 --> 00:04:12,673
Okay, sure.
Where do you wanna meet?
126
00:04:12,757 --> 00:04:13,966
Zales.
Obviously Zales.
127
00:04:14,133 --> 00:04:15,426
I don't even know
why I said that.
128
00:04:15,551 --> 00:04:17,136
Dewey, let's go! We're
gonna miss the bus!
129
00:04:18,804 --> 00:04:20,556
Dewey, the bus.
130
00:04:25,227 --> 00:04:26,562
I can't believe this.
131
00:04:27,062 --> 00:04:28,647
Wait till I tell your father
when he gets home.
132
00:04:29,023 --> 00:04:31,609
Did you have to broadcast to the
whole school that we take the bus?
133
00:04:31,984 --> 00:04:34,570
You just got suspended, and
that's what you're concerned about?
134
00:04:34,653 --> 00:04:36,447
Everybody on here
is taking the bus.
135
00:04:36,614 --> 00:04:37,990
That guy's probably
a lawyer.
136
00:04:39,742 --> 00:04:42,244
Sorry. Are you
talking to me?
137
00:04:42,620 --> 00:04:44,747
No. Uh...
138
00:04:44,830 --> 00:04:45,873
No.
139
00:04:48,918 --> 00:04:50,669
Let's focus on
the real issue here.
140
00:04:50,753 --> 00:04:51,879
Why did you
hit that boy?
141
00:04:51,962 --> 00:04:53,297
He was talking trash
about us.
142
00:04:53,380 --> 00:04:55,216
He said that wrestling
was fake, so I punched him.
143
00:04:55,299 --> 00:04:56,926
That is not okay.
144
00:04:57,009 --> 00:04:58,761
You've never done
anything like this before.
145
00:04:58,844 --> 00:05:00,679
Can we not talk about this
in front of all these people?
146
00:05:00,763 --> 00:05:02,848
No one is listening
to our conversation.
147
00:05:03,140 --> 00:05:06,310
Uh, actually,
I am listening.
148
00:05:06,477 --> 00:05:09,480
I went through something
similar with my oldest.
149
00:05:09,563 --> 00:05:10,981
Okay, too much bus for me.
150
00:05:11,065 --> 00:05:12,483
What are
you doing?
151
00:05:12,566 --> 00:05:14,109
This isn't
our stop.
152
00:05:14,193 --> 00:05:16,028
I'm gonna go to the mall,
wait for Gabe.
153
00:05:16,195 --> 00:05:18,030
You certainly are not.
You just got suspended.
154
00:05:18,155 --> 00:05:19,573
Exactly. I can't be
at school.
155
00:05:19,657 --> 00:05:21,492
So what does it matter
where I am? Dewey.
156
00:05:25,037 --> 00:05:26,539
Whoo! The party's here.
157
00:05:37,758 --> 00:05:39,009
Hello, Ata.
158
00:05:39,093 --> 00:05:40,761
How'd you know it was me?
Caller ID.
159
00:05:40,845 --> 00:05:42,638
I just got a whole new
phone system hooked up.
160
00:05:42,805 --> 00:05:43,889
I'm trying to find Rocky.
161
00:05:44,223 --> 00:05:46,517
He left this morning to work
a wrestling convention in Erie
162
00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:47,685
and didn't know
where he was staying.
163
00:05:47,768 --> 00:05:49,019
Is everything okay?
164
00:05:49,103 --> 00:05:50,563
Dewey got suspended
for fighting.
165
00:05:50,646 --> 00:05:52,398
I know.
166
00:05:52,481 --> 00:05:53,649
And then, when
I was taking him home,
167
00:05:53,732 --> 00:05:54,984
he got off the bus
to go to the mall.
168
00:05:55,067 --> 00:05:56,151
To buy you an apology gift?
169
00:05:56,485 --> 00:05:58,195
To hang out
with his friend Gabe.
170
00:05:58,279 --> 00:06:00,197
Gabe? I've never
met a Gabe in my life.
171
00:06:00,281 --> 00:06:01,532
That's why
I want to talk to Rocky.
172
00:06:01,824 --> 00:06:04,493
Dewey's such a sweet boy. He's
never acted out like this before.
173
00:06:04,577 --> 00:06:06,161
The Wild Samoans
will know where he is.
174
00:06:06,245 --> 00:06:07,580
Here, I'll loop
them in.
175
00:06:07,872 --> 00:06:10,249
I just got three-way
calling. Watch.
176
00:06:14,128 --> 00:06:15,504
Hello. Hey, man,
it's me and Ata.
177
00:06:15,588 --> 00:06:17,256
You know where Rocky is
out there in Erie?
178
00:06:17,548 --> 00:06:19,633
No, brother, but
Macho Man might know.
179
00:06:19,800 --> 00:06:23,596
Sika, can we add a three-way
call to a three-way call?
180
00:06:28,058 --> 00:06:29,310
Yes.
181
00:06:29,476 --> 00:06:31,186
Ooh, no, sorry.
182
00:06:31,270 --> 00:06:33,981
I'm actually on vacation
parasailing with Elizabeth.
183
00:06:34,064 --> 00:06:36,525
You know what. though,
let me try Andre, yeah.
184
00:06:36,609 --> 00:06:38,235
I saw Rocky last night. Oh?
185
00:06:38,319 --> 00:06:41,071
In a dream. He was
a baby.
186
00:06:41,155 --> 00:06:42,615
Okay, I really need
to talk to him.
187
00:06:42,698 --> 00:06:44,491
Ata, I don't want to put
words in Rocky's mouth,
188
00:06:44,575 --> 00:06:46,327
but I think I know
what he'd say.
189
00:06:46,702 --> 00:06:47,745
Boys test
boundaries,
190
00:06:47,828 --> 00:06:49,371
and you've got to show
him that it's not okay.
191
00:06:49,496 --> 00:06:50,539
I agree.
192
00:06:50,623 --> 00:06:52,833
You need to bring the hammer
down and nip this in the bud.
193
00:06:53,208 --> 00:06:54,919
Yeah, you got
this, Ata.
194
00:06:55,002 --> 00:06:56,545
You're the boss.
Oh, yeah!
195
00:06:56,670 --> 00:06:58,589
Dig it, yeah !
You are a lioness.
196
00:06:58,881 --> 00:07:00,716
Let them hear you roar.
197
00:07:00,841 --> 00:07:02,593
Oh, I've got
another call.
198
00:07:02,676 --> 00:07:05,262
Hey, it's Stephanie
from Jazzercize.
199
00:07:05,596 --> 00:07:08,307
You signed up for an
afternoon class and didn't show.
200
00:07:08,390 --> 00:07:11,477
Ata, I didn't know you did
Jazzercise. Oh, it is so good for you.
201
00:07:11,560 --> 00:07:13,520
Sorry, Stephanie.
You're on a conference call.
202
00:07:13,604 --> 00:07:15,105
Yeah, Ata's son
disrespected her,
203
00:07:15,189 --> 00:07:16,607
but she's gonna
handle it on her own.
204
00:07:16,815 --> 00:07:18,651
For sure.
Right.
205
00:07:18,734 --> 00:07:20,736
He's gonna try
and test me? No.
206
00:07:20,861 --> 00:07:23,030
I'm the boss of that boy! And?
207
00:07:23,113 --> 00:07:24,365
I am a lioness!
208
00:07:27,076 --> 00:07:30,120
I love how
supportive this call is.
209
00:07:30,204 --> 00:07:32,873
While the room's hot,
any advice what I should say
210
00:07:32,957 --> 00:07:34,625
to my sister when
she asks for money?
211
00:07:36,585 --> 00:07:38,712
I'll just tell her
I'm broke.
212
00:07:42,967 --> 00:07:45,052
Oh, that's the stuff
Karen likes.
213
00:07:45,135 --> 00:07:47,638
Pink Ice.
Yeah, how do you know?
214
00:07:47,721 --> 00:07:49,098
Karen told Bonnie,
Bonnie told me.
215
00:07:49,181 --> 00:07:50,766
Oh, me and Bonnie
are dating now, man.
216
00:07:50,849 --> 00:07:52,851
She liked the way I handled
the whole note passing thing.
217
00:07:52,935 --> 00:07:55,270
Dude, that's great. Yo, we
should all go on a double date.
218
00:07:55,354 --> 00:07:57,564
That would be amazing.
Yo, we could do our bits, man.
219
00:07:57,648 --> 00:07:59,817
Ooh, yeah, after this let's
cruise through Chess King
220
00:07:59,900 --> 00:08:01,777
so we can five-finger discount
some new outfits.
221
00:08:02,903 --> 00:08:03,946
Yes, hello.
222
00:08:04,029 --> 00:08:05,197
Pink Ice.
223
00:08:05,322 --> 00:08:07,032
Your ladies have
exquisite taste.
224
00:08:07,116 --> 00:08:08,242
Oh, not me.
225
00:08:08,325 --> 00:08:10,494
Mine wants a chunky necklace
from some place called Chico's.
226
00:08:11,036 --> 00:08:13,038
How much is this one?
227
00:08:13,288 --> 00:08:15,290
That's $99.99.
228
00:08:16,500 --> 00:08:17,626
Do you have anything
that looks like
229
00:08:17,710 --> 00:08:20,004
it starts with a nine but
actually starts with a two?
230
00:08:20,087 --> 00:08:22,673
Let me show you
our most affordable option.
231
00:08:23,048 --> 00:08:26,093
The stud earrings.
There you go.
232
00:08:29,471 --> 00:08:30,514
I don't see anything.
233
00:08:30,597 --> 00:08:32,266
Here, let me help you.
234
00:08:34,476 --> 00:08:36,687
There. There it is.
Do you see it? There.
235
00:08:36,812 --> 00:08:38,564
- Uh...
- Dewey!
236
00:08:39,148 --> 00:08:41,400
How dare you get off that
bus and walk away from me?
237
00:08:41,483 --> 00:08:44,653
As far as you're concerned, I
am the law and you will obey me.
238
00:08:44,737 --> 00:08:46,697
Mom, we're in Zales. I
don't care if we're in Zales.
239
00:08:46,780 --> 00:08:48,115
You are grounded
for two months.
240
00:08:48,240 --> 00:08:49,658
Two months?
And don't think grounding
241
00:08:49,742 --> 00:08:51,452
means you're gonna
watch TV and eat waffles.
242
00:08:51,535 --> 00:08:53,203
You're coming with me.
I'm putting you to work.
243
00:08:53,287 --> 00:08:54,580
Okay, just calm down.
244
00:08:54,663 --> 00:08:56,749
Do you think you can just
tell me to calm down?
245
00:08:57,166 --> 00:08:59,752
Well, I-- It doesn't
matter what you think!
246
00:08:59,835 --> 00:09:01,045
Come on, let's go.
247
00:09:01,837 --> 00:09:03,380
And you better be looking
at those earrings
248
00:09:03,464 --> 00:09:05,507
as an apology gift
for me.
249
00:09:05,591 --> 00:09:06,633
You can see those?
250
00:09:07,051 --> 00:09:08,594
I see everything.
251
00:09:13,849 --> 00:09:16,977
You're not done till I can
see my face in the reflection.
252
00:09:17,061 --> 00:09:19,063
Yes, ma'am.
I'm impressed.
253
00:09:19,313 --> 00:09:21,065
I tried disciplining
my daughter once
254
00:09:21,148 --> 00:09:23,484
when she crashed her Audi,
but then she crashed my Audi.
255
00:09:23,650 --> 00:09:24,943
And now we're down
to one Audi.
256
00:09:25,027 --> 00:09:26,445
After we finish here,
I'm taking Dewey
257
00:09:26,528 --> 00:09:28,030
to apologize
to the boy he hit.
258
00:09:28,238 --> 00:09:31,033
Making amends.
Oh, that reminds me.
259
00:09:31,116 --> 00:09:32,409
Did you see
the Sally Jessy episode
260
00:09:32,493 --> 00:09:33,660
about people
who talk to ghosts?
261
00:09:33,744 --> 00:09:35,120
No, I was hoping
you recorded it.
262
00:09:35,204 --> 00:09:36,997
Oh, I did,
and it's a doozy.
263
00:09:37,122 --> 00:09:39,291
I'll get the tape
for you right after
264
00:09:39,374 --> 00:09:41,293
I write you a check
for the week.
265
00:09:42,211 --> 00:09:44,797
Is that pug dog a purse?
Yes.
266
00:09:44,880 --> 00:09:46,423
Don't you love?
It's Judith Leiber.
267
00:09:46,507 --> 00:09:49,051
She makes jewel-encrusted bags
shaped like fun things.
268
00:09:50,636 --> 00:09:53,222
I've got the frog,
the sleeping cat.
269
00:09:53,305 --> 00:09:56,350
And I'm on the wait list
for the pork chop.
270
00:09:56,433 --> 00:09:58,435
Oh, they're gorgeous.
271
00:09:58,519 --> 00:09:59,770
Like feminine trophies.
272
00:09:59,853 --> 00:10:01,605
Mmm-hmm.
Dwayne, grab some polish
273
00:10:01,688 --> 00:10:03,857
and give this purse shelf
a once.over.
274
00:10:03,941 --> 00:10:06,276
But I'm mopping.
After you mop.
275
00:10:06,485 --> 00:10:07,694
Yes, ma'am.
276
00:10:08,028 --> 00:10:10,864
The "ma'am" is everything.
277
00:10:11,782 --> 00:10:13,408
"I'm sorry for
what I did to you.
278
00:10:13,492 --> 00:10:14,493
"And I know saying I'm sorry
279
00:10:14,576 --> 00:10:17,287
"doesn't excuse the pain
that I've caused you, Kevin.
280
00:10:17,371 --> 00:10:18,580
"But I hope in a small way
281
00:10:18,664 --> 00:10:20,666
"it can be a part
of the healing process,
282
00:10:20,916 --> 00:10:23,585
"and I hope one day
you and your family
283
00:10:23,669 --> 00:10:25,212
"will be able to forgive me.
284
00:10:25,295 --> 00:10:26,505
"I know it will be some time
285
00:10:26,588 --> 00:10:28,298
"before I'm able
to forgive myself.
286
00:10:28,924 --> 00:10:32,219
"Sincerely,
Dwayne Douglas Johnson."
287
00:10:32,511 --> 00:10:34,721
Thank you for that,
Dwayne Douglas.
288
00:10:35,139 --> 00:10:37,891
And, yes, I do forgive you.
289
00:10:39,184 --> 00:10:40,435
I'm proud of you
for doing that.
290
00:10:40,519 --> 00:10:41,603
Thanks, Mom.
291
00:10:41,687 --> 00:10:43,272
That was lovely.
292
00:10:43,355 --> 00:10:45,440
His father and I
prayed for this moment.
293
00:10:46,150 --> 00:10:48,652
Thank you. I have to say,
I'm impressed with how well
294
00:10:48,735 --> 00:10:50,696
you're handling all this
as a single mom.
295
00:10:51,196 --> 00:10:53,240
I have a husband.
I'm not a single mom.
296
00:10:53,323 --> 00:10:55,576
Oh, I just assumed.
You assumed because I'm...
297
00:10:55,659 --> 00:10:57,619
Oh, heavens no.
No, not at all.
298
00:10:57,786 --> 00:10:59,580
No, no. No.
299
00:11:00,038 --> 00:11:01,748
What did you think
I was gonna say?
300
00:11:02,249 --> 00:11:03,667
Uh...
301
00:11:03,750 --> 00:11:06,295
What were you gonna say?
302
00:11:06,378 --> 00:11:07,754
Young.
Exactly.
303
00:11:07,838 --> 00:11:09,756
No, you don't seem that
young, is what I was saying.
304
00:11:11,216 --> 00:11:13,302
But you're youthful.
305
00:11:17,472 --> 00:11:18,932
Sorry again, bro.
306
00:11:20,601 --> 00:11:23,562
My dad prayed to God
to damn your soul to hell.
307
00:11:23,645 --> 00:11:26,690
What?
God owes my dad a favor,
308
00:11:26,773 --> 00:11:28,692
and for that favor
he asked God
309
00:11:28,775 --> 00:11:30,569
to curse your soul
to eternal damnation
310
00:11:30,652 --> 00:11:31,820
for laying hands on me.
311
00:11:33,655 --> 00:11:35,324
Just thought
you should know.
312
00:11:39,036 --> 00:11:40,495
Eternal damnation?
313
00:11:40,787 --> 00:11:42,164
That's a bitch move.
314
00:11:42,247 --> 00:11:44,583
Getting his preacher dad
to use his powers like that.
315
00:11:44,666 --> 00:11:47,085
My mom said not to sweat it
'cause she thinks his dad's a racist.
316
00:11:47,169 --> 00:11:49,129
By the way, your mom
was like a total badass.
317
00:11:49,463 --> 00:11:51,298
Me and the Zales guy
talked about it for a while.
318
00:11:51,381 --> 00:11:53,592
Also, I learned some, like,
cool stuff about Zales.
319
00:11:53,926 --> 00:11:55,886
I have never
seen her like that.
320
00:11:55,969 --> 00:11:57,846
My dad is usually the one
that gets all riled up.
321
00:11:57,930 --> 00:11:59,473
Do you think you can get out
of being grounded tonight?
322
00:11:59,556 --> 00:12:00,974
Because I talked to Bonnie,
323
00:12:01,058 --> 00:12:02,851
and the four of us
are doing that double date.
324
00:12:03,268 --> 00:12:06,063
Yeah, I'm gonna tell my mom I'm
going to bed early then sneak out.
325
00:12:06,146 --> 00:12:07,814
Where are we going?
T.J. Crispy's.
326
00:12:08,482 --> 00:12:10,317
Want to see the present
I got her?
327
00:12:14,238 --> 00:12:17,324
What is it?
It's a marble egg, man.
328
00:12:17,407 --> 00:12:19,409
What does it do?
Look expensive.
329
00:12:19,826 --> 00:12:21,536
What is that,
a marble egg?
330
00:12:21,620 --> 00:12:22,996
Looks expensive.
331
00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:25,916
Thank you. You get
Karen a present yet?
332
00:12:26,208 --> 00:12:28,502
Yeah, I got her
something real nice.
333
00:12:53,694 --> 00:12:56,488
What?
334
00:13:04,371 --> 00:13:06,415
Ata, what are
you doing here?
335
00:13:06,498 --> 00:13:08,500
I watched that Sally Jessy
episode you gave me.
336
00:13:08,583 --> 00:13:10,002
I needed to talk
about it immediately.
337
00:13:10,210 --> 00:13:11,378
The part where
the ghost says,
338
00:13:11,461 --> 00:13:14,631
"I am Jackie, and I
forgive you, ' goosebumps.
339
00:13:14,715 --> 00:13:16,550
Then the phone rang,
and I almost peed my pants.
340
00:13:18,051 --> 00:13:19,469
Well, I brought wine.
341
00:13:19,553 --> 00:13:21,638
So, if you got a corkscrew
and two glasses,
342
00:13:21,722 --> 00:13:25,267
I'll just wait here.
Oh, Yellow Hill.
343
00:13:27,602 --> 00:13:30,355
Listen, Ata, I'm walking
into the kitchen
344
00:13:30,439 --> 00:13:32,691
and I'm not gonna
bring out your wine.
345
00:13:32,774 --> 00:13:34,860
I'm sorry, but I think
we'd both be happier
346
00:13:34,943 --> 00:13:36,987
drinking one of my Grenaches.
347
00:13:37,070 --> 00:13:38,363
It's from France.
348
00:13:38,488 --> 00:13:40,032
Yours says
it's from Nevada,
349
00:13:40,115 --> 00:13:41,700
and I'm just
not familiar with...
350
00:13:41,783 --> 00:13:42,909
What are you doing?
351
00:13:44,453 --> 00:13:46,496
I was... This fell.
352
00:13:46,580 --> 00:13:48,415
The shelf must be wobbly
and it slid off,
353
00:13:48,498 --> 00:13:50,751
or I don't know what made it
fall, but it fell, and...
354
00:13:52,753 --> 00:13:54,254
Dwayne stole it.
What?
355
00:13:54,338 --> 00:13:55,756
He took it, and I was
trying to put it back.
356
00:13:55,839 --> 00:13:57,799
I am so sorry.
I'm so embarrassed.
357
00:13:57,966 --> 00:13:58,967
I didn't even
want to tell you,
358
00:13:59,051 --> 00:14:01,803
but obviously I'm not as good
a liar as my son.
359
00:14:02,179 --> 00:14:04,639
Well, why would he do that?
I don't know.
360
00:14:04,723 --> 00:14:06,141
Dewey's always been
such a good kid,
361
00:14:06,224 --> 00:14:09,269
but now he's punching
people, disobeying me, stealing.
362
00:14:09,394 --> 00:14:12,064
At first I thought this isn't
like him, but what if it is?
363
00:14:12,147 --> 00:14:13,774
What if this is
who he really is?
364
00:14:15,859 --> 00:14:18,445
There is a difference between
good kids who make mistakes
365
00:14:18,528 --> 00:14:20,655
and kids like
my daughter,
366
00:14:20,781 --> 00:14:22,657
who just wanna
watch the world burn.
367
00:14:23,825 --> 00:14:25,160
I don't know your son,
368
00:14:25,243 --> 00:14:27,162
but I feel like
I've gotten to know you.
369
00:14:27,496 --> 00:14:29,247
You raised a good kid.
370
00:14:30,207 --> 00:14:32,334
Thanks for saying that,
but I honestly don't feel
371
00:14:32,417 --> 00:14:34,169
like I'm doing
a good job at all.
372
00:14:34,252 --> 00:14:35,962
I thought being stricter
with him would help,
373
00:14:36,046 --> 00:14:37,714
but it hasn't.
374
00:14:37,798 --> 00:14:40,550
I just want to talk to Rocky.
He'd know what to do.
375
00:14:41,718 --> 00:14:43,678
I think you know what to do.
376
00:14:44,346 --> 00:14:47,265
Do you remember that Sally episode
we watched about princess syndrome?
377
00:14:47,599 --> 00:14:49,184
You're just waiting
for someone to come along
378
00:14:49,267 --> 00:14:51,561
and rescue you,
make it all better.
379
00:14:51,937 --> 00:14:55,649
But the only one who can
make it better is you.
380
00:14:56,108 --> 00:14:58,527
We are our own knights
in shining armor.
381
00:14:58,693 --> 00:14:59,945
I love that episode.
382
00:15:00,028 --> 00:15:01,071
Yeah, it started off
a little shaky
383
00:15:01,154 --> 00:15:02,447
with the whole
obese twins thing,
384
00:15:02,531 --> 00:15:03,990
but then it really
picked up.
385
00:15:14,960 --> 00:15:17,337
Mom, look, none of these
clothes are mine.
386
00:15:17,421 --> 00:15:18,588
I know.
387
00:15:18,672 --> 00:15:20,424
They belong to the places
you stole them from.
388
00:15:20,507 --> 00:15:23,009
No, they just forgot to take
the security tags off.
389
00:15:23,218 --> 00:15:24,803
I found the purse, Dewey.
390
00:15:25,178 --> 00:15:26,513
Diane's purse?
391
00:15:26,596 --> 00:15:27,764
Sit down.
392
00:15:36,189 --> 00:15:39,276
I tried punishing you like
I did when you were little,
393
00:15:39,359 --> 00:15:41,027
but you're not
a kid anymore.
394
00:15:41,111 --> 00:15:44,156
You're becoming a man, so
I'm gonna talk to you like one.
395
00:15:44,614 --> 00:15:45,949
What's going on?
396
00:15:46,199 --> 00:15:48,201
I hate not having things.
397
00:15:48,368 --> 00:15:51,037
You have things.
Nice things.
398
00:15:51,246 --> 00:15:53,457
Girls only look at you
if you have designer clothes
399
00:15:53,540 --> 00:15:55,375
or you drive a cool car
or you live in a big house.
400
00:15:55,750 --> 00:15:57,294
And if you don't,
you basically don't exist.
401
00:15:57,377 --> 00:15:58,837
You think I don't
want nice things?
402
00:15:59,379 --> 00:16:01,715
I don't want to be cleaning
other people's houses,
403
00:16:01,798 --> 00:16:02,883
taking the bus.
404
00:16:03,175 --> 00:16:04,301
I thought you loved the bus.
405
00:16:04,384 --> 00:16:06,887
The bus sucks.
I know the bus sucks.
406
00:16:07,429 --> 00:16:09,264
But your dad's not earning
the way he used to,
407
00:16:09,347 --> 00:16:12,058
so I'm doing what I need
to do for our family,
408
00:16:12,142 --> 00:16:13,477
while you're just
being selfish.
409
00:16:13,560 --> 00:16:14,769
It's not like
I'm hurting anybody
410
00:16:14,853 --> 00:16:16,688
by taking some shirts
from department stores.
411
00:16:16,771 --> 00:16:18,607
First off,
you literally hurt someone.
412
00:16:18,690 --> 00:16:20,400
You punched a classmate.
413
00:16:20,692 --> 00:16:22,194
And you stole
from my client.
414
00:16:22,277 --> 00:16:24,446
She has a thousand purses.
She would never miss it.
415
00:16:24,529 --> 00:16:26,156
You need to hang around
rich people more.
416
00:16:26,239 --> 00:16:27,908
They notice everything.
417
00:16:28,074 --> 00:16:29,618
And guess who's the first
person to get blamed
418
00:16:29,701 --> 00:16:30,994
if something goes missing.
419
00:16:31,495 --> 00:16:32,913
I could have lost my job,
420
00:16:32,996 --> 00:16:35,332
which pays for
this apartment you hate,
421
00:16:35,415 --> 00:16:36,708
the clothes
you're embarrassed of,
422
00:16:36,791 --> 00:16:38,043
and those waffles you love.
423
00:16:38,126 --> 00:16:39,794
Do you know how many
Eggos you eat, Dewey?
424
00:16:39,878 --> 00:16:40,962
Not even Eggos.
425
00:16:41,087 --> 00:16:42,297
You buy the generic
toaster waffles.
426
00:16:42,589 --> 00:16:45,800
Because you inhale so many,
we can only afford the generic.
427
00:16:50,222 --> 00:16:52,140
I'm not looking
for a thank you.
428
00:16:52,349 --> 00:16:55,602
I do those things because
I love you and I'm your mom,
429
00:16:55,685 --> 00:16:57,479
but it's been hard,
430
00:16:57,646 --> 00:16:59,773
and I can't have
you making it harder.
431
00:17:00,982 --> 00:17:02,609
Okay.
432
00:17:02,734 --> 00:17:05,612
I'm sorry, Mom.
I'll be better.
433
00:17:07,822 --> 00:17:09,324
Take these trash bags
and fill them
434
00:17:09,407 --> 00:17:13,036
with the clothes you stole,
so you can donate them.
435
00:17:14,412 --> 00:17:15,956
Where are you going?
The clothes are right here.
436
00:17:16,957 --> 00:17:19,334
There might be more.
437
00:17:22,754 --> 00:17:24,172
- Hello.
- Hey, babe.
438
00:17:24,256 --> 00:17:25,507
I heard you were
looking for me.
439
00:17:25,590 --> 00:17:28,426
Everything okay?
Well...
440
00:17:29,219 --> 00:17:30,762
Yeah, actually it is.
441
00:17:30,887 --> 00:17:33,848
I was calling to tell you that Dewey
got suspended from school for fighting.
442
00:17:33,932 --> 00:17:36,601
Did he win?
Uh, I mean, uh, he did?
443
00:17:36,768 --> 00:17:38,061
It's okay, I handled it.
444
00:17:38,144 --> 00:17:39,521
How's everything
going over there?
445
00:17:39,604 --> 00:17:42,190
Oh, it's great.
The convention was nuts.
446
00:17:42,357 --> 00:17:43,733
Abdullah the Butcher says hi.
447
00:17:43,817 --> 00:17:45,402
Anyway, I'll be back
tomorrow morning.
448
00:17:45,485 --> 00:17:47,070
I just got a couple more
meetings tonight.
449
00:17:47,279 --> 00:17:48,530
Come on, Rocky,
we're all going to the bar.
450
00:17:48,613 --> 00:17:49,698
Oh, okay.
451
00:17:49,823 --> 00:17:50,907
Sounds like
an important meeting.
452
00:17:50,991 --> 00:17:53,535
Babe, you know I've been
struggling to book matches.
453
00:17:53,618 --> 00:17:55,161
You know how it is,
I gotta schmooze.
454
00:17:55,495 --> 00:17:57,747
Wrestling deals are made
over a six-pack of beer
455
00:17:57,831 --> 00:17:59,207
and country music...
456
00:17:59,291 --> 00:18:00,750
H... Hello?
457
00:18:03,461 --> 00:18:05,380
No follow-up
questions, please.
458
00:18:06,548 --> 00:18:07,966
So, in my first effort
to do better,
459
00:18:08,049 --> 00:18:10,010
I'm gonna tell you I was
planning to sneak out tonight
460
00:18:10,093 --> 00:18:11,970
and meet some friends.
Appreciate the honesty.
461
00:18:12,053 --> 00:18:13,972
Don't answer that.
462
00:18:14,347 --> 00:18:16,266
No follow-up
questions, please.
463
00:18:16,349 --> 00:18:19,019
Okay, fair, but I was thinking,
464
00:18:19,311 --> 00:18:22,439
What if me and you
order some food instead?
465
00:18:22,564 --> 00:18:24,566
No way, I don't believe
that's true.
466
00:18:24,649 --> 00:18:26,151
I'm telling you,
it's true.
467
00:18:26,234 --> 00:18:27,819
She had never seen
a port a potty before?
468
00:18:28,069 --> 00:18:31,072
She had never seen a port a
potty before the flea market, yes.
469
00:18:31,239 --> 00:18:32,365
She almost started crying.
470
00:18:32,449 --> 00:18:34,117
She said she was
wearing her red boots.
471
00:18:34,492 --> 00:18:37,370
Still, she was super into
Dad's match once it started.
472
00:18:37,454 --> 00:18:38,580
She really loved it.
473
00:18:39,164 --> 00:18:40,665
What's this
girl's name, again?
474
00:18:40,749 --> 00:18:42,208
Fine-A...
475
00:18:42,292 --> 00:18:43,460
Good-Grades Karen.
476
00:18:43,877 --> 00:18:45,503
Well, I like
that nickname.
477
00:18:47,464 --> 00:18:49,382
I hope you're not upset about
missing dinner with your friends.
478
00:18:51,259 --> 00:18:53,011
They'll survive without me.
479
00:18:53,928 --> 00:18:55,430
I can't believe it.
480
00:18:55,847 --> 00:18:57,140
He stood me up.
481
00:18:57,223 --> 00:19:00,518
Karen, I'm sure Dwayne's dead
on the side of some highway, okay?
482
00:19:00,602 --> 00:19:02,145
That's what it would take
for him to not be here.
483
00:19:02,228 --> 00:19:04,564
I've never been stood
up before in my life.
484
00:19:04,648 --> 00:19:06,107
Bonnie, is this what
this feels like?
485
00:19:06,566 --> 00:19:08,693
It is,
and it'll stay with you.
486
00:19:09,611 --> 00:19:12,656
All righty, time
to settle the bill, right?
487
00:19:12,947 --> 00:19:14,658
Bonnie, obviously,
I got you covered
488
00:19:14,741 --> 00:19:17,202
since you're my date,
but Karen...
489
00:19:18,703 --> 00:19:19,871
I had a Diet Sprite.
490
00:19:19,954 --> 00:19:22,415
And three chicken wings
from the shared appetizer.
491
00:19:22,707 --> 00:19:23,708
I counted the bones.
492
00:19:23,792 --> 00:19:25,377
So, doing
a little math here,
493
00:19:25,460 --> 00:19:27,962
That is $1 .50 plus $3.99,
494
00:19:28,046 --> 00:19:29,589
plus tax and tip.
495
00:19:31,174 --> 00:19:32,759
No, Mom.
496
00:19:33,218 --> 00:19:35,679
Hey, come on,
we're having a fun night.
497
00:19:35,762 --> 00:19:37,597
You used to love singing
this song with me.
498
00:19:37,764 --> 00:19:38,890
Yeah, when I was a kid.
499
00:19:39,099 --> 00:19:41,309
You're never
too old to sing.
500
00:19:42,310 --> 00:19:45,897
Don't
go breaking my heart
501
00:19:45,980 --> 00:19:48,233
I couldn't if I tried
502
00:19:50,443 --> 00:19:53,321
Oh honey
if I get restless
503
00:19:53,405 --> 00:19:54,447
Sing.
504
00:19:54,531 --> 00:19:57,200
Baby you're not that kind
505
00:20:00,453 --> 00:20:02,455
Don't go breaking my heart
506
00:20:02,539 --> 00:20:04,207
You sound good.
507
00:20:04,290 --> 00:20:06,918
You take the weight
off of me
508
00:20:11,464 --> 00:20:13,341
Oh, hey, Mom, I'm gonna
drop those clothes off
509
00:20:13,425 --> 00:20:14,509
at Goodwill after breakfast.
510
00:20:14,592 --> 00:20:16,261
Thank you.
I'm off to Jazzercise.
511
00:20:16,344 --> 00:20:18,054
Have fun.
Oh, and by the way,
512
00:20:18,138 --> 00:20:21,558
we're out of Sim's Market
Brand Toaster Quilted Pancakes.
513
00:20:21,641 --> 00:20:23,852
I'll stop by the store
on my way home.
514
00:20:24,436 --> 00:20:26,521
Yeah, I really put my mom
through it,
515
00:20:26,604 --> 00:20:28,106
but she never gave up on me,
516
00:20:28,189 --> 00:20:30,316
and she always showed me
what true strength really is.
517
00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:31,985
It's that
mama bear mentality.
518
00:20:32,068 --> 00:20:34,028
Exactly, and that's why
I have such respect
519
00:20:34,112 --> 00:20:36,030
for strong women,
because I was raised by one.
520
00:20:36,573 --> 00:20:38,450
So is your mom
your running mate?
521
00:20:38,533 --> 00:20:40,618
No, although
she would love that.
522
00:20:40,702 --> 00:20:43,913
But the person I will choose
will share similar qualities.
523
00:20:43,997 --> 00:20:45,749
Well, I'm sure
I speak for America
524
00:20:45,832 --> 00:20:47,751
when I say we can't wait
to see who you choose.
525
00:20:48,084 --> 00:20:51,379
And also we have a little bit
of a surprise for you.
526
00:20:52,422 --> 00:20:54,966
Is this mic working? Hello?
527
00:20:55,049 --> 00:20:57,177
Mom, we're here.
Dewey, hi, Dewey.
528
00:20:57,343 --> 00:20:59,262
Oh, I love that
you still call him Dewey.
529
00:20:59,471 --> 00:21:01,973
Oh, even when he's president
I'll still call him Dewey.
530
00:21:02,056 --> 00:21:04,017
Mom.
Yes, President Dewey?
531
00:21:04,100 --> 00:21:06,060
Mom, please.
Oh, President Dewey.
532
00:21:06,144 --> 00:21:07,937
That has a nice sound to it.
No, it doesn't.
533
00:21:08,021 --> 00:21:09,814
Yeah, no, it doesn't.
534
00:21:09,898 --> 00:21:11,733
So, Mrs. Johnson,
do you think your son
535
00:21:11,816 --> 00:21:14,569
can become the next
President of the United States?
536
00:21:15,028 --> 00:21:16,070
Absolutely.
537
00:21:16,154 --> 00:21:18,364
When Dewey says
he's gonna do something,
538
00:21:18,448 --> 00:21:20,909
he will do it,
and you will smell...
539
00:21:20,992 --> 00:21:23,995
No, Mom. Oh, Mom. What
President Dewey is cooking.
540
00:21:25,371 --> 00:21:26,790
That's my mom.
That's Mom.
541
00:21:26,873 --> 00:21:29,125
Okay, that's enough. Bye bye.
542
00:21:29,149 --> 00:21:34,149
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