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http:
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http:/
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http://
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http://h
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http://hi
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http://hiq
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http://hiqv
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http://hiqve
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http://hiqve.
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http://hiqve.c
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http://hiqve.co
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http://hiqve.com
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http://hiqve.com/
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http://hiqve.com/
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00:00:08,804 --> 00:00:10,806
I'm Randall Park
at Freedom High School,
20
00:00:10,890 --> 00:00:12,892
continuing our
all-access coverage
21
00:00:12,975 --> 00:00:15,228
of the Dwayne Johnson
presidential campaign.
22
00:00:17,271 --> 00:00:20,733
Thank you for joining us
for the official opening
23
00:00:20,816 --> 00:00:24,111
of the Dwayne Johnson Library.
24
00:00:24,195 --> 00:00:26,322
Dwayne, we always knew
25
00:00:26,405 --> 00:00:28,908
that you were destined
for greatness.
26
00:00:28,991 --> 00:00:29,992
Nice lady.
27
00:00:30,284 --> 00:00:32,620
She made me sound good,
but none of it was true.
28
00:00:32,703 --> 00:00:35,373
I mean, the only thing that people
said I was destined to do was time.
29
00:00:35,456 --> 00:00:37,500
That's good.
30
00:00:37,583 --> 00:00:39,377
As we all know,
nobody's perfect,
31
00:00:39,460 --> 00:00:40,711
and we all screw up.
32
00:00:40,795 --> 00:00:43,047
I just happened to screw up
a little bit more than most.
33
00:00:43,130 --> 00:00:44,924
As a matter of fact, Randall,
when I first got here
34
00:00:45,007 --> 00:00:47,385
to Freedom High School,
I was a hardcore shoplifter.
35
00:00:47,468 --> 00:00:48,469
Mmm-hmm.
36
00:00:49,345 --> 00:00:50,680
Hey, just so you know,
37
00:00:50,763 --> 00:00:52,098
you guys have
to come in tighter
38
00:00:52,181 --> 00:00:53,307
when he says stuff like that.
39
00:00:53,391 --> 00:00:54,642
Well, it's too late now.
40
00:00:54,725 --> 00:00:55,726
It's too late.
Back up.
41
00:00:56,727 --> 00:00:57,728
Just anticipate.
42
00:00:58,938 --> 00:00:59,939
Uh, continue.
43
00:01:00,022 --> 00:01:03,192
Yeah, so we moved here
to Bethlehem from Nashville
44
00:01:03,276 --> 00:01:05,444
because my dad wasn't wrestling
for Vince McMahon anymore.
45
00:01:05,528 --> 00:01:06,779
That's your father...
Mmm-hmm.
46
00:01:06,862 --> 00:01:11,033
"Soul Man" Rocky Johnson!
47
00:01:11,117 --> 00:01:12,827
Nice, man. Good job.
48
00:01:12,910 --> 00:01:14,245
Give me some.
All right.
49
00:01:14,328 --> 00:01:15,871
You practiced that,
didn't you? I did.
50
00:01:16,789 --> 00:01:19,959
I don't know if I mentioned
it, but I used to be an actor.
51
00:01:20,042 --> 00:01:21,502
You have.
I have? Okay.
52
00:01:21,586 --> 00:01:23,254
Yeah, yeah, multiple
times. Oh, okay.
53
00:01:23,421 --> 00:01:24,964
But back to my parents.
Yes, yes.
54
00:01:25,047 --> 00:01:26,674
So, money wasn't coming in
the way it used to,
55
00:01:26,757 --> 00:01:29,135
so he and my mom opened up
a cleaning business.
56
00:01:29,343 --> 00:01:32,430
I had a side job
after school slinging pizza,
57
00:01:32,513 --> 00:01:34,265
but the only thing I wanted to
do was chase girls.
58
00:01:34,348 --> 00:01:35,558
Mm.
59
00:01:35,641 --> 00:01:37,143
And to get their attention,
I thought
60
00:01:37,226 --> 00:01:40,146
that I had to look rich,
hence all the stealing.
61
00:01:40,229 --> 00:01:41,480
Candidate Johnson,
please,
62
00:01:41,564 --> 00:01:43,441
remember
our media training session.
63
00:01:43,524 --> 00:01:46,694
It's fine, Sandy.
Yeah, it's fine, Sandy.
64
00:01:47,361 --> 00:01:49,113
So my dad was still
trying to wrestle
65
00:01:49,196 --> 00:01:51,324
any chance that he got,
so my Uncle Afa
66
00:01:51,407 --> 00:01:53,534
from the Wild Samoans...
The Wild Samoans.
67
00:01:53,618 --> 00:01:56,037
Yeah, that's good.
68
00:01:56,120 --> 00:01:57,455
Yeah.
Borderline inappropriate.
69
00:01:57,538 --> 00:01:58,539
Oh, okay.
It was the tongue.
70
00:01:58,623 --> 00:02:00,249
Yeah. Oh, sorry.
Yeah.
71
00:02:00,333 --> 00:02:02,001
So my Uncle Afa
hooked my dad up
72
00:02:02,084 --> 00:02:04,003
with a promoter
who got him booked
73
00:02:04,086 --> 00:02:06,172
on some local shows,
which was great.
74
00:02:06,255 --> 00:02:08,883
I mean, we needed the money,
but my dad
75
00:02:08,966 --> 00:02:10,801
was still very much reliving
76
00:02:10,885 --> 00:02:12,887
his glory days
of the early '80s.
77
00:02:13,179 --> 00:02:15,014
Listen to that crowd!
78
00:02:15,097 --> 00:02:16,307
Whoo!
79
00:02:16,390 --> 00:02:18,517
Kick to the
midsection. Johnson taking a beating!
80
00:02:19,727 --> 00:02:21,812
Rocky making
an incredible comeback
81
00:02:21,896 --> 00:02:23,481
against the Nature Boy.
82
00:02:24,982 --> 00:02:27,151
Here comes the big Soul Man.
Right hand!
83
00:02:31,614 --> 00:02:33,074
He holds Flair up!
84
00:02:33,157 --> 00:02:34,533
One, two...
85
00:02:34,617 --> 00:02:36,452
Three,
and the crowd goes wild!
86
00:02:36,535 --> 00:02:37,870
Damn right, they did!
87
00:02:37,953 --> 00:02:39,580
I remember seeing
that match on TV.
88
00:02:39,664 --> 00:02:42,083
Flair's a great guy.
Just don't touch his hair.
89
00:02:42,625 --> 00:02:45,961
But do compliment
his ring entrance robe.
90
00:02:46,045 --> 00:02:48,005
Brother spends a ton
on feathering.
91
00:02:56,097 --> 00:02:57,807
Dewey, did you put
an empty egg carton
92
00:02:57,890 --> 00:02:59,558
and an empty milk carton
back in the fridge?
93
00:02:59,642 --> 00:03:00,893
How are you supposed to
know we're out of stuff
94
00:03:00,976 --> 00:03:02,228
if I don't put the empty
cartons in the fridge?
95
00:03:02,311 --> 00:03:04,146
How about you write it down
on the grocery list?
96
00:03:04,230 --> 00:03:05,815
Because when I do,
you ignore it.
97
00:03:05,898 --> 00:03:08,609
Like, here I wrote "Coke,"
and you bought
98
00:03:08,693 --> 00:03:11,070
Sim's Market Brand Sugar Cola.
99
00:03:11,153 --> 00:03:13,531
Do you think I want Sim's
Market Brand Milk Alternative
100
00:03:13,614 --> 00:03:14,740
for my coffee? No.
101
00:03:14,824 --> 00:03:16,617
I want
the purple half-and-half,
102
00:03:16,701 --> 00:03:19,495
but nobody here is making
half-and-half money, Dewey.
103
00:03:19,578 --> 00:03:21,831
We're making
Sim's Market Brand money.
104
00:03:22,039 --> 00:03:23,499
Gotta take a shower.
I've got a new client.
105
00:03:23,582 --> 00:03:24,792
I can't be late.
106
00:03:29,714 --> 00:03:31,298
Hello?
Hey, son.
107
00:03:31,382 --> 00:03:33,008
Hey, Dad.
Is your mom there?
108
00:03:33,092 --> 00:03:34,093
She's in the shower.
109
00:03:34,176 --> 00:03:35,720
She's working
for that new client today.
110
00:03:35,803 --> 00:03:37,638
All right. Let her know
I'm running a little late.
111
00:03:37,722 --> 00:03:38,723
I lost track of time.
112
00:03:38,806 --> 00:03:40,224
Storytelling for the guys
at the gym.
113
00:03:40,307 --> 00:03:41,726
Mom seems real
stressed, Dad.
114
00:03:41,809 --> 00:03:43,269
Hey, when I get home,
I'll give her
115
00:03:43,352 --> 00:03:44,645
a Rocky Johnson foot massage.
116
00:03:44,729 --> 00:03:45,771
That'll take care of it.
117
00:03:45,855 --> 00:03:47,273
Well, since I waited
20 minutes
118
00:03:47,356 --> 00:03:49,275
for the phone to open up,
let's not waste it.
119
00:03:49,358 --> 00:03:50,943
Hey, how's it going
with that girl you like?
120
00:03:51,026 --> 00:03:53,446
Fine-Ass Karen.
And not good.
121
00:03:53,529 --> 00:03:54,530
I want to ask her out,
122
00:03:54,613 --> 00:03:55,781
but so does every other guy
in school.
123
00:03:55,865 --> 00:03:59,076
Well, son,
you are not every other guy.
124
00:03:59,160 --> 00:04:01,328
You just need to figure out
what you can offer her
125
00:04:01,412 --> 00:04:02,413
that no one else can.
126
00:04:03,330 --> 00:04:06,333
My Hans and Franz impression
from Saturday Night Live.
127
00:04:06,792 --> 00:04:08,252
I don't know
what that means, son,
128
00:04:08,335 --> 00:04:09,962
but you gotta step
your game up.
129
00:04:10,045 --> 00:04:12,965
Be confident.
Girls like swagger.
130
00:04:13,048 --> 00:04:14,884
And don't wait
to make your move.
131
00:04:14,967 --> 00:04:17,803
For every second you hesitate,
there's another guy out there
132
00:04:17,887 --> 00:04:20,765
telling your girl she'd look
better with less makeup.
133
00:04:20,848 --> 00:04:23,309
So I wasn't gonna hesitate.
134
00:04:25,019 --> 00:04:26,729
Dewey, I'm leaving.
See you tonight!
135
00:04:26,812 --> 00:04:27,980
Okay, Ma, see you later!
136
00:04:28,773 --> 00:04:30,483
This girl Karen
thought I was rich,
137
00:04:30,566 --> 00:04:32,234
and I sure as hell wasn't.
138
00:04:33,068 --> 00:04:34,069
So I had to impress her
139
00:04:34,153 --> 00:04:35,863
with the best
stolen clothes I had.
140
00:04:39,033 --> 00:04:41,160
That's right,
those are Girbaud jeans.
141
00:04:41,994 --> 00:04:43,704
Living on a prayer
142
00:04:43,788 --> 00:04:45,122
I had my gear.
143
00:04:45,206 --> 00:04:46,791
Now I just had
to catch my ride.
144
00:04:51,796 --> 00:04:53,631
Hello, hello.
145
00:04:54,715 --> 00:04:57,259
Uh, sir, you need to be
a student to ride this bus.
146
00:04:57,510 --> 00:04:58,511
I am a student.
147
00:04:59,178 --> 00:05:01,347
You got some stones, pervert.
148
00:05:03,682 --> 00:05:05,726
Gabe, yo,
tell him I'm a student!
149
00:05:05,810 --> 00:05:07,520
Are those Girbaud jeans?
150
00:05:12,024 --> 00:05:14,527
So, I think Mondays
and Thursdays to start,
151
00:05:14,610 --> 00:05:17,071
and if you have any questions or
you need anything, just let me know.
152
00:05:17,154 --> 00:05:19,156
Okay. Thank you, Mrs. Ariti.
153
00:05:19,240 --> 00:05:22,910
Oh, please, call me Diane.
Do you have any kids?
154
00:05:23,077 --> 00:05:24,829
I have a daughter, supposedly.
155
00:05:24,912 --> 00:05:26,080
She hasn't called
in three weeks.
156
00:05:27,164 --> 00:05:30,668
I'm learning to cook Indian
but I can't find the spices!
157
00:05:30,835 --> 00:05:33,504
So, if it hadn't been
for that second margarita,
158
00:05:33,587 --> 00:05:36,131
you'd be looking at
Mrs. Kelsey Grammer right now.
159
00:05:36,215 --> 00:05:38,634
And I just don't think
I'm a good hugger!
160
00:05:38,717 --> 00:05:40,177
Do you think
I should get a facelift?
161
00:05:40,261 --> 00:05:41,262
Be honest.
162
00:05:41,971 --> 00:05:44,390
I have a shrimp allergy!
163
00:05:44,473 --> 00:05:46,267
Clark got me this
for my birthday.
164
00:05:46,433 --> 00:05:49,520
He was always getting me
expensive, insulting gifts.
165
00:05:49,603 --> 00:05:51,730
Bicycle, gym membership,
diet pills...
166
00:05:51,814 --> 00:05:53,566
Oh, my God,
those aren't real problems.
167
00:05:54,316 --> 00:05:55,693
Paying rent,
keeping the lights on,
168
00:05:55,776 --> 00:05:57,069
those are real problems.
169
00:05:57,862 --> 00:05:59,113
Oh, right.
170
00:05:59,196 --> 00:06:00,197
Of course.
171
00:06:00,948 --> 00:06:02,199
I could pay you
a dollar more an hour.
172
00:06:02,283 --> 00:06:03,534
No, no, that's not
what I was asking.
173
00:06:03,617 --> 00:06:05,536
I just used to pay what my
neighbor paid, but she moved...
174
00:06:05,619 --> 00:06:06,662
Let's just forget
I said anything.
175
00:06:14,211 --> 00:06:16,130
I can't believe
he wouldn't let me on the bus.
176
00:06:16,213 --> 00:06:17,590
I was so late
that I missed homeroom
177
00:06:17,673 --> 00:06:18,674
with Fine-Ass Karen.
178
00:06:18,966 --> 00:06:20,259
She didn't get to see
the new jeans I stole
179
00:06:20,342 --> 00:06:22,052
or my Hans and Franz.
180
00:06:22,136 --> 00:06:23,596
What if I miss
my window with her?
181
00:06:23,888 --> 00:06:26,682
Dude, honestly, I don't know
if your jeans
182
00:06:26,765 --> 00:06:28,642
or your impression
would have mattered.
183
00:06:28,726 --> 00:06:31,312
Karen has crazy
high standards.
184
00:06:31,395 --> 00:06:32,479
Let's all go to the lobby
185
00:06:32,563 --> 00:06:33,564
Take me home.
186
00:06:34,607 --> 00:06:35,900
Take me home.
187
00:06:36,233 --> 00:06:37,818
Karen
188
00:06:37,902 --> 00:06:38,903
Take me home.
189
00:06:40,112 --> 00:06:42,698
Um, we're at your house.
190
00:06:42,781 --> 00:06:44,241
Oh.
191
00:06:44,325 --> 00:06:45,868
Well, take yourself
home then.
192
00:06:50,122 --> 00:06:51,206
My God.
193
00:06:51,290 --> 00:06:53,042
It's the Karens!
What?
194
00:06:53,125 --> 00:06:55,169
It's the Karen's!
No, here?
195
00:06:55,461 --> 00:06:57,504
Taking me
196
00:06:57,588 --> 00:06:58,964
To the point of no return
197
00:06:59,048 --> 00:07:00,049
Fine-Ass Karen.
198
00:07:02,635 --> 00:07:04,178
Big Hair Karen.
199
00:07:04,511 --> 00:07:05,930
Colorblind Karen.
200
00:07:06,972 --> 00:07:08,057
And Bonnie.
201
00:07:09,224 --> 00:07:11,602
They made her an honorary
Karen 'cause it's her car.
202
00:07:11,685 --> 00:07:12,978
Yo, they're coming.
They're coming in.
203
00:07:13,062 --> 00:07:14,104
Yo!
204
00:07:14,730 --> 00:07:16,065
What are
we doing? Yo, I don't know man!
205
00:07:16,148 --> 00:07:17,149
Just be cool!
206
00:07:17,232 --> 00:07:18,400
I'm gonna put
these peppers on a plate.
207
00:07:22,029 --> 00:07:23,572
I'd like to feel
the passion
208
00:07:23,656 --> 00:07:25,449
To the point of no return
209
00:07:25,532 --> 00:07:26,951
Oh, baby
210
00:07:27,034 --> 00:07:28,869
The universe was
giving me a second chance,
211
00:07:29,244 --> 00:07:31,997
and like my dad said,
I had to be confident.
212
00:07:32,081 --> 00:07:33,499
Yo, let's go over.
213
00:07:33,749 --> 00:07:35,167
I can't, man.
214
00:07:35,250 --> 00:07:36,627
I squirted pepper juice
in my eye.
215
00:07:36,710 --> 00:07:38,671
Ugh. Ow.
216
00:07:38,754 --> 00:07:40,506
Go over there
for the both of us.
217
00:07:44,760 --> 00:07:46,971
- Hello, ladies.
- Hi, Tomas.
218
00:07:47,054 --> 00:07:49,473
Oh, yeah, I also
told her that my name was Tomas.
219
00:07:49,556 --> 00:07:51,767
- Missed you in homeroom.
- Oh, I was shaving.
220
00:07:51,850 --> 00:07:52,851
Lost track of time.
221
00:07:53,102 --> 00:07:55,354
So why are you
even working here?
222
00:07:55,437 --> 00:07:57,231
I thought Karen
said you were rich.
223
00:07:57,314 --> 00:07:59,942
Oh, this isn't a money job.
This is a build-character job.
224
00:08:00,067 --> 00:08:01,110
I totally
get it.
225
00:08:01,193 --> 00:08:02,820
My cousin's
a construction worker.
226
00:08:03,112 --> 00:08:04,238
My dad's
a professional wrestler.
227
00:08:04,780 --> 00:08:05,864
That's where our family money
comes from.
228
00:08:05,948 --> 00:08:06,949
Oh, yeah?
229
00:08:07,199 --> 00:08:09,243
My dad bought wrestlemania iii
on pay-per-view.
230
00:08:09,326 --> 00:08:10,327
Was your dad in that?
231
00:08:10,411 --> 00:08:12,621
No, but he's friends
with all the guys who were.
232
00:08:12,705 --> 00:08:15,040
I once spent a beautiful day
with André the Giant
233
00:08:15,124 --> 00:08:16,125
when I was a kid.
234
00:08:16,208 --> 00:08:17,584
Fezzik!
235
00:08:17,668 --> 00:08:19,878
That's his character's name
in "The Princess Bride".
236
00:08:21,046 --> 00:08:23,090
Well, that's interesting.
237
00:08:23,173 --> 00:08:25,092
Not what Bonnie said,
but what you said.
238
00:08:25,175 --> 00:08:27,636
The last guy I dated's dad
was vice president
239
00:08:27,720 --> 00:08:29,680
for the acquisitions
of- who cares?
240
00:08:29,763 --> 00:08:30,973
So boring.
241
00:08:31,056 --> 00:08:32,808
You know, I was
actually talking about you
242
00:08:32,891 --> 00:08:34,393
- with my dad this morning.
- What?
243
00:08:34,476 --> 00:08:36,437
No, you weren't.
I was.
244
00:08:36,520 --> 00:08:38,063
I told him I wanted
to ask you out.
245
00:08:38,647 --> 00:08:40,441
You know what he told me?
What?
246
00:08:40,524 --> 00:08:43,819
He told me to offer you
what the other guys can't.
247
00:08:44,153 --> 00:08:45,446
Oh, yeah, and what's that?
248
00:08:46,780 --> 00:08:48,073
I'm Hans.
249
00:08:48,157 --> 00:08:51,660
I'm Franz.
And we want to pump you up.
250
00:08:58,125 --> 00:09:01,003
I love Hans and Franz.
Call me later.
251
00:09:04,715 --> 00:09:06,759
The "Soul
Man" has withstood the onslaught
252
00:09:06,842 --> 00:09:10,304
by Roddy Piper and is now
all over the rowdy one!
253
00:09:11,513 --> 00:09:13,348
Here comes
the signature drop kick!
254
00:09:15,225 --> 00:09:16,226
Is it over?
255
00:09:16,310 --> 00:09:17,603
One, two...
256
00:09:17,686 --> 00:09:19,938
Three, the crowd goes wild!
257
00:09:20,022 --> 00:09:22,024
Rocky, Rocky, Rocky!
258
00:09:22,107 --> 00:09:24,985
Like I said, I don't really
watch wrestling.
259
00:09:25,486 --> 00:09:26,570
Sure you do.
260
00:09:26,904 --> 00:09:28,155
Let me tell you
about this other time.
261
00:09:28,238 --> 00:09:29,573
So I had this brother, right?
262
00:09:29,823 --> 00:09:31,533
Well, I feel awful.
263
00:09:31,825 --> 00:09:33,118
I snapped
at my new client today,
264
00:09:33,202 --> 00:09:34,953
so now I'm making her
apology musubis.
265
00:09:35,037 --> 00:09:37,039
Do like we do out here
in Hawaii.
266
00:09:37,247 --> 00:09:39,833
Send mangoes,
the fruit of forgiveness.
267
00:09:41,085 --> 00:09:42,961
There he is.
I did what you said.
268
00:09:43,212 --> 00:09:44,671
I stepped to Karen
with confidence,
269
00:09:44,755 --> 00:09:45,756
and she gave me her number.
270
00:09:45,964 --> 00:09:47,049
Oh, that's great, son.
271
00:09:47,132 --> 00:09:48,133
I told you that would work.
272
00:09:48,217 --> 00:09:49,927
Gonna call her tonight
after I work out
273
00:09:50,010 --> 00:09:51,887
so I can say,
"I just worked out."
274
00:09:51,970 --> 00:09:54,056
Smooth as hell, son.
Keep your foot on the gas.
275
00:09:54,139 --> 00:09:55,140
Don't let up.
276
00:09:55,224 --> 00:09:56,725
Rocky, did that promoter
pay you yet?
277
00:09:56,809 --> 00:09:58,811
Uh, no, we got a match
on Saturday.
278
00:09:58,894 --> 00:10:00,104
Office said
he's gonna pay us then.
279
00:10:00,437 --> 00:10:01,605
Where's your
match on Saturday?
280
00:10:01,897 --> 00:10:04,274
North Hampton College.
Sold out.
281
00:10:04,441 --> 00:10:06,610
Really?
Totally sold out.
282
00:10:06,693 --> 00:10:07,986
Oh, I'm gonna blow
their minds.
283
00:10:08,070 --> 00:10:10,114
Like that time I went up
against Paul Orndorff...
284
00:10:15,619 --> 00:10:18,122
Hello, Dwayne.
How's student life?
285
00:10:18,205 --> 00:10:20,541
Hey, Principal Bogg.
It's good.
286
00:10:21,208 --> 00:10:23,252
That was for the benefit
of the kids, Officer Johnson.
287
00:10:23,335 --> 00:10:25,003
I don't want
to blow your cover.
288
00:10:25,295 --> 00:10:27,798
Any leads on the rash
of locker break-ins?
289
00:10:27,881 --> 00:10:30,509
Again, I'm not a narc.
Of course.
290
00:10:30,592 --> 00:10:32,427
You can't talk
on school premises.
291
00:10:32,511 --> 00:10:35,055
I'll make us a reservation
at Morton's Steakhouse.
292
00:10:35,139 --> 00:10:36,515
You can brief me later.
293
00:10:36,598 --> 00:10:38,642
Hey, stay safe out there.
294
00:10:41,311 --> 00:10:42,729
What?
295
00:10:45,149 --> 00:10:49,153
Karen, Karen, Karen, Bonnie.
296
00:10:49,236 --> 00:10:50,362
You can call me Karen.
297
00:10:50,445 --> 00:10:51,989
Is it me,
or is he wearing all red?
298
00:10:52,197 --> 00:10:54,199
It's you.
Hi, Tomas.
299
00:10:54,283 --> 00:10:55,617
Fun talking to you
on the phone last night.
300
00:10:55,701 --> 00:10:57,578
Think how fun it will be
when we talk face-to-face
301
00:10:57,661 --> 00:10:58,662
on our date.
302
00:10:58,954 --> 00:11:01,123
Karen, you didn't tell us
he asked you out.
303
00:11:01,206 --> 00:11:03,959
He didn't, Karen.
It's happening right now.
304
00:11:04,042 --> 00:11:05,460
No fricking way.
305
00:11:05,544 --> 00:11:08,338
My dad is wrestling at North
Hampton College on Saturday.
306
00:11:08,422 --> 00:11:10,382
It's sold out,
but I can get us in.
307
00:11:10,465 --> 00:11:13,343
Snag us some VIP passes,
hang backstage.
308
00:11:13,427 --> 00:11:15,053
That would be pretty exciting.
309
00:11:15,137 --> 00:11:16,388
I've never seen a live show.
310
00:11:18,390 --> 00:11:21,185
See, Kevin?
That's how you do it.
311
00:11:24,771 --> 00:11:26,023
Baby
312
00:11:26,106 --> 00:11:28,150
I can't wait
313
00:11:30,485 --> 00:11:31,612
Mmm.
314
00:11:31,695 --> 00:11:34,990
They taste like hope
for a better future.
315
00:11:36,533 --> 00:11:38,452
Thank you for these,
but you really didn't have to.
316
00:11:38,535 --> 00:11:41,246
It's the least I could do
after how I spoke to you.
317
00:11:41,330 --> 00:11:44,249
It's not an excuse,
but my husband's been having
318
00:11:44,333 --> 00:11:46,335
work issues,
and money's been tight.
319
00:11:46,418 --> 00:11:48,045
Anyway, I'm sorry.
320
00:11:48,128 --> 00:11:49,338
I'm sorry too.
321
00:11:49,421 --> 00:11:51,340
Ever since my daughter
left home and my divorce,
322
00:11:52,424 --> 00:11:53,592
I've been a little lonely.
323
00:11:54,718 --> 00:11:56,637
I guess I got overexcited
at having company.
324
00:11:56,720 --> 00:11:59,431
Family tests you whether
they're here or they're gone.
325
00:11:59,514 --> 00:12:00,641
Amen.
326
00:12:00,724 --> 00:12:02,809
Just like Sally Jesse says,
"We're expected
327
00:12:02,893 --> 00:12:05,020
to react to the needs
of the people around us."
328
00:12:06,897 --> 00:12:07,898
Who's Sally Jesse?
329
00:12:08,482 --> 00:12:09,691
Sally Jesse Raphael.
330
00:12:11,068 --> 00:12:13,070
The yellow haired hawk
of daytime talk.
331
00:12:14,071 --> 00:12:15,822
Oh, come with me.
Come with me.
332
00:12:16,823 --> 00:12:19,660
And I was like, "No, Bonnie,
a perm would not do well
333
00:12:19,743 --> 00:12:20,911
"with your face structure."
334
00:12:21,203 --> 00:12:23,247
And that is how
I saved her life.
335
00:12:23,330 --> 00:12:24,998
What would she do without you?
336
00:12:27,084 --> 00:12:30,254
Wow, this place
really is sold out.
337
00:12:30,921 --> 00:12:33,131
I'll talk to the guy,
tell him who we are.
338
00:12:35,467 --> 00:12:36,510
Here for the flea market?
339
00:12:36,593 --> 00:12:38,136
We're here
for the wrestling match.
340
00:12:38,220 --> 00:12:39,471
Yep, you're in
the right place.
341
00:12:39,554 --> 00:12:40,973
That's right between
the vintage coats
342
00:12:41,056 --> 00:12:42,099
and French armoires.
343
00:12:44,101 --> 00:12:45,686
Now, I knew
my dad wasn't wrestling
344
00:12:45,769 --> 00:12:46,979
in packed arenas anymore,
345
00:12:47,062 --> 00:12:48,897
but he definitely
stretched the truth
346
00:12:48,981 --> 00:12:49,982
about this venue.
347
00:12:50,065 --> 00:12:51,733
Dewey!
348
00:12:51,817 --> 00:12:54,778
Well, well, well,
and this must be Karen.
349
00:12:54,861 --> 00:12:56,947
- Oh, what a surprise.
- Dewey?
350
00:12:57,239 --> 00:12:59,032
My nickname. It's a
nickname for Tomas?
351
00:12:59,116 --> 00:13:00,867
Tomas?
His name is Dwayne.
352
00:13:00,951 --> 00:13:02,536
Is this true, Tomas?
353
00:13:04,454 --> 00:13:06,081
You said you were wrestling
at a college.
354
00:13:06,164 --> 00:13:07,666
Yeah, this is at a college.
355
00:13:07,749 --> 00:13:09,626
This is a flea market
next to a college.
356
00:13:09,710 --> 00:13:11,503
Commemorative
bicentennial spoons?
357
00:13:11,586 --> 00:13:14,548
Ew, I am not buying
used spoons.
358
00:13:14,631 --> 00:13:16,800
Vintage T-shirts, young lady?
You a fan of GWAR?
359
00:13:17,843 --> 00:13:19,428
Dwayne!
One sec.
360
00:13:20,262 --> 00:13:22,472
Look at her, Dad. She's not
the flea market type.
361
00:13:22,556 --> 00:13:24,391
You know I've been trying
to impress this girl.
362
00:13:24,474 --> 00:13:26,685
All right, all right, I might
have hyped it up a bit,
363
00:13:26,768 --> 00:13:28,103
but the crowd is pumped.
364
00:13:29,646 --> 00:13:30,856
There's, like,
ten people here.
365
00:13:30,939 --> 00:13:32,899
Now, see, there was 11,
but this woman fainted
366
00:13:32,983 --> 00:13:34,985
when she heard
I was on the card.
367
00:13:35,902 --> 00:13:37,821
Yeah, she saw me wrestle
Mr. Fuji
368
00:13:37,904 --> 00:13:39,406
at the Garden years ago.
369
00:13:39,489 --> 00:13:41,158
Now, that was
a hell of a match.
370
00:13:41,241 --> 00:13:43,660
Okay, sure, my dad
stretched the truth
371
00:13:43,744 --> 00:13:46,121
to make himself look good,
but he was also used
372
00:13:46,204 --> 00:13:48,373
to a certain level of success
that he wasn't
373
00:13:48,457 --> 00:13:49,541
ready to give up.
374
00:13:49,624 --> 00:13:51,835
So Fuji's about to throw salt
in my eyes, right?
375
00:13:51,918 --> 00:13:52,961
Dwayne, can we go?
376
00:13:53,503 --> 00:13:54,713
There is a woman
trying to sell me
377
00:13:54,796 --> 00:13:57,341
what I think
is a racist syrup jar.
378
00:13:58,175 --> 00:14:00,427
Um, we gotta...
Oh, wait, wait, no.
379
00:14:00,510 --> 00:14:01,970
You can't leave
before the main event.
380
00:14:06,058 --> 00:14:07,059
For sure, we're staying.
381
00:14:07,351 --> 00:14:09,186
No way we're missing
a Rocky Johnson show.
382
00:14:10,479 --> 00:14:11,563
That's my boy.
383
00:14:12,731 --> 00:14:15,067
- Rocky, showtime.
- Great. Thanks, Hal.
384
00:14:15,150 --> 00:14:16,651
I'll see you two
after the match?
385
00:14:18,487 --> 00:14:19,488
No way we're staying.
386
00:14:19,946 --> 00:14:22,741
There is a man selling
a pile of old baby shoes,
387
00:14:22,824 --> 00:14:24,117
and it is freaking me out.
388
00:14:25,077 --> 00:14:27,996
If you want to leave,
go ahead, but I'm staying.
389
00:14:28,413 --> 00:14:29,414
Why?
390
00:14:30,665 --> 00:14:31,750
He's my dad.
391
00:14:34,836 --> 00:14:36,588
Like Karen,
I'm also confused.
392
00:14:36,671 --> 00:14:37,672
Why did you stay?
393
00:14:39,299 --> 00:14:40,342
He's my dad.
394
00:14:43,804 --> 00:14:44,805
That's it.
395
00:14:49,434 --> 00:14:50,435
Wait.
396
00:14:52,771 --> 00:14:54,398
And it's really
unusual, I think, to hear women
397
00:14:54,481 --> 00:14:55,941
say this,
looks are more important
398
00:14:56,024 --> 00:14:58,026
than brains?
Oh, yeah.
399
00:14:58,110 --> 00:14:59,778
I think I would like
a dumb, hot man.
400
00:14:59,945 --> 00:15:01,947
Clark was basically
a giant brain
401
00:15:02,030 --> 00:15:04,282
attached to the body
of an uncooked chicken.
402
00:15:06,201 --> 00:15:08,286
I'd like a man
who can put his ego aside.
403
00:15:08,537 --> 00:15:10,705
I love Rocky,
but he always exaggerates
404
00:15:10,789 --> 00:15:12,749
to make himself look good
when he doesn't even have to.
405
00:15:12,833 --> 00:15:13,875
It's exhausting.
406
00:15:13,959 --> 00:15:15,877
Still,
sounds better than Clark.
407
00:15:16,378 --> 00:15:19,756
An uncooked chicken, Ata.
408
00:15:21,633 --> 00:15:23,510
Oh, I have to go.
No.
409
00:15:23,593 --> 00:15:24,845
Yeah, I still gotta go
to the grocery store
410
00:15:24,928 --> 00:15:26,304
and get dinner ready.
411
00:15:26,388 --> 00:15:28,807
You have to take time
for yourself too.
412
00:15:28,890 --> 00:15:30,142
"Find the little joys,
413
00:15:30,225 --> 00:15:31,893
"for they give us
the greatest pleasures."
414
00:15:34,771 --> 00:15:35,772
Did you just
come up with that?
415
00:15:35,856 --> 00:15:36,982
No, that's SJR.
416
00:15:37,065 --> 00:15:39,151
She said it to a toothless
woman addicted to crystal meth.
417
00:15:39,651 --> 00:15:41,820
I recorded it.
I'll show you.
418
00:15:43,572 --> 00:15:45,073
Got us some snacks.
419
00:15:45,157 --> 00:15:46,783
That's what my family buys
to feed the fish
420
00:15:46,867 --> 00:15:47,993
when we go to the Poconos.
421
00:15:49,703 --> 00:15:52,539
Hey, Uncle Afa, Uncle Sika.
422
00:15:52,622 --> 00:15:54,499
This is Karen.
Hi, Karen.
423
00:15:58,545 --> 00:16:00,547
Bye, Karen.
424
00:16:00,630 --> 00:16:02,299
Should've gone white water
rafting with Kevin.
425
00:16:03,425 --> 00:16:05,552
Okay, yeah, this place sucks,
426
00:16:05,635 --> 00:16:07,220
but I promise
you're in for a show.
427
00:16:07,304 --> 00:16:09,723
In this
corner, the "Soul Man"!
428
00:16:09,806 --> 00:16:11,475
Even though
my dad wasn't wrestling
429
00:16:11,558 --> 00:16:13,143
in Madison Square Garden
anymore,
430
00:16:13,226 --> 00:16:14,811
in his mind, he was.
431
00:16:17,022 --> 00:16:21,109
And his opponent,
hailing from the ocean,
432
00:16:21,193 --> 00:16:23,778
the Gull!
433
00:16:25,113 --> 00:16:28,992
Ooh, a dirty attack
by the Gull before the bell.
434
00:16:29,993 --> 00:16:32,412
And whether it was the Gull
or Rick Flair
435
00:16:32,496 --> 00:16:33,955
or Roddy Piper,
436
00:16:34,039 --> 00:16:35,832
anytime Rocky Johnson
got in that ring,
437
00:16:35,916 --> 00:16:37,792
he went all out.
438
00:16:37,876 --> 00:16:40,086
That's what I
got, the hard way
439
00:16:40,170 --> 00:16:42,506
And I'll make it better
each and every day
440
00:16:42,589 --> 00:16:44,883
It's so violent in real life.
441
00:16:45,884 --> 00:16:47,594
Ah, ah !
Ow!
442
00:16:47,886 --> 00:16:49,304
' Cause
you ain't seen nothing yet
443
00:16:49,387 --> 00:16:51,973
If he doesn't sell
and get his opponent over,
444
00:16:52,057 --> 00:16:53,225
there's no point
in blowing his comeback.
445
00:16:54,267 --> 00:16:55,727
What does that mean?
446
00:16:55,810 --> 00:16:58,104
Ow!
447
00:16:58,188 --> 00:17:00,106
I'm a soul man
448
00:17:00,190 --> 00:17:02,400
Stop it!
He's hurt!
449
00:17:02,484 --> 00:17:03,610
I'm a soul man
450
00:17:04,861 --> 00:17:06,488
Rocky reaches the ropes.
451
00:17:06,571 --> 00:17:09,491
The Gull has to let him go
or be disqualified.
452
00:17:09,574 --> 00:17:11,451
Caw!
453
00:17:11,535 --> 00:17:13,411
I hate you!
454
00:17:14,454 --> 00:17:16,164
She's loving it.
455
00:17:17,541 --> 00:17:20,418
Nobody put on
a show like the "Soul Man".
456
00:17:20,502 --> 00:17:23,129
Rocky, Rocky, Rocky!
Rocky.
457
00:17:23,213 --> 00:17:25,423
Rocky, Rocky, Rocky!
458
00:17:25,507 --> 00:17:28,218
Rocky, Rocky, Rocky!
459
00:17:28,301 --> 00:17:29,553
I'm a soul man
460
00:17:31,972 --> 00:17:33,932
I'm a soul man
461
00:17:35,267 --> 00:17:36,309
Whoo!
462
00:17:36,893 --> 00:17:38,895
Well, grab the
rope, let me pull you in
463
00:17:38,979 --> 00:17:42,732
Give you hope
And be your only boyfriend
464
00:17:42,816 --> 00:17:45,193
Yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah
465
00:17:45,277 --> 00:17:46,653
One, two...
466
00:17:46,736 --> 00:17:47,904
Three!
467
00:17:49,656 --> 00:17:51,950
Like my dad,
I had been exaggerating the truth
468
00:17:52,033 --> 00:17:55,245
to make myself look good,
but when I finally got real
469
00:17:55,328 --> 00:17:58,331
and chose to be there for him
over impressing the girl,
470
00:17:58,415 --> 00:17:59,708
I somehow got the girl.
471
00:17:59,791 --> 00:18:01,543
That was amazing!
472
00:18:01,626 --> 00:18:02,752
What did I tell you?
473
00:18:02,836 --> 00:18:04,629
Nobody puts on a show
like my dad.
474
00:18:10,218 --> 00:18:11,803
That was so fun.
475
00:18:11,886 --> 00:18:13,638
You set the bar high
for our next date.
476
00:18:13,722 --> 00:18:14,848
Next date?
477
00:18:14,931 --> 00:18:17,392
Oh, is that before or after
you go rafting with Kevin?
478
00:18:17,475 --> 00:18:19,561
Shut up.
Ah.
479
00:18:19,644 --> 00:18:20,687
- Hi, Rocky!
- Hey.
480
00:18:20,770 --> 00:18:22,147
Amazing, Dad.
481
00:18:22,230 --> 00:18:23,315
You put on a show.
482
00:18:23,398 --> 00:18:24,691
You were so great,
Mr. Johnson.
483
00:18:24,774 --> 00:18:26,985
Why, thank you, Karen.
Appreciate that, son.
484
00:18:27,068 --> 00:18:28,403
I've never seen
wrestling live before,
485
00:18:28,486 --> 00:18:30,405
and it was so much better
than on TV.
486
00:18:30,488 --> 00:18:32,657
Kind of like that time I saw
Kirk Cameron at the airport.
487
00:18:33,783 --> 00:18:35,410
Hey, hell of a match,
Rocky. Hell of a match.
488
00:18:35,493 --> 00:18:36,745
Finally, payday.
489
00:18:39,039 --> 00:18:41,041
- Where's the rest?
- That's $300.
490
00:18:41,124 --> 00:18:42,751
It was 300 per match.
491
00:18:42,834 --> 00:18:44,252
I wrestled
three matches for you.
492
00:18:44,336 --> 00:18:45,879
No, 300 total.
493
00:18:48,465 --> 00:18:49,549
Just give us a second.
494
00:18:49,633 --> 00:18:50,967
Business.
495
00:18:51,968 --> 00:18:54,179
$300? That's all?
496
00:18:54,804 --> 00:18:56,181
Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah,
he doesn't do
497
00:18:56,264 --> 00:18:57,599
these smaller shows for money.
498
00:18:57,682 --> 00:18:59,267
He just does 'em
as a favor to my uncles.
499
00:18:59,351 --> 00:19:00,352
Oh. Yeah.
500
00:19:00,435 --> 00:19:02,687
Still, though, you want to keep
these local promoters honest.
501
00:19:02,771 --> 00:19:05,106
But he makes the real money
at the big shows.
502
00:19:05,190 --> 00:19:07,567
Oh, well, I'd love
to see one of those.
503
00:19:08,068 --> 00:19:09,694
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
for sure.
504
00:19:09,778 --> 00:19:10,820
I'll take you to the next one.
505
00:19:10,904 --> 00:19:13,281
Hey, you know,
my dad has a ton of merch.
506
00:19:13,365 --> 00:19:14,991
You want a hat?
Mmm-hmm.
507
00:19:15,075 --> 00:19:16,618
I'll bring you a hat
on Monday.
508
00:19:17,077 --> 00:19:20,497
So the wind
Might change direction
509
00:19:20,580 --> 00:19:23,875
And you stay
Always as you are
510
00:19:23,958 --> 00:19:25,710
I've always loved that song.
511
00:19:25,794 --> 00:19:27,003
Dwayne said
the show was great.
512
00:19:27,087 --> 00:19:28,546
Hey, you know me.
513
00:19:28,630 --> 00:19:30,298
My worst day
is someone else's best day.
514
00:19:32,634 --> 00:19:34,427
Hey, I'm sorry
about the money.
515
00:19:34,511 --> 00:19:36,012
Hal swore he was-
ATA: Hey.
516
00:19:36,096 --> 00:19:38,723
$300 is $300.
We could use it.
517
00:19:39,557 --> 00:19:41,559
But next time, we gotta
make sure you get paid upfront.
518
00:19:41,643 --> 00:19:43,269
Definitely.
519
00:19:43,353 --> 00:19:46,731
Plus this convention in Erie
will bring in some extra dough.
520
00:19:46,815 --> 00:19:49,192
Pose for pictures,
sign some autographs.
521
00:19:49,275 --> 00:19:50,819
It'll be great.
522
00:19:54,614 --> 00:19:57,200
Hey, babe, what's with
this small, purple milk?
523
00:19:57,283 --> 00:19:58,702
It's my little joy.
524
00:19:58,785 --> 00:19:59,911
I put it behind the cantaloupe
525
00:19:59,994 --> 00:20:01,538
so Dewey doesn't drink it all
in one gulp.
526
00:20:01,621 --> 00:20:03,123
Smart.
527
00:20:03,206 --> 00:20:05,083
No way that boy's
going near a melon.
528
00:20:05,166 --> 00:20:06,209
Mmm-hmm.
529
00:20:08,044 --> 00:20:09,879
That is a sweet end
to the story.
530
00:20:09,963 --> 00:20:11,965
Would've been, yeah,
but that's not the end.
531
00:20:12,048 --> 00:20:13,675
Unless we want
it to be.
532
00:20:13,758 --> 00:20:14,926
Sandy, please.
533
00:20:15,009 --> 00:20:16,386
Can someone get
this Sandy guy out of here?
534
00:20:17,971 --> 00:20:19,764
Bitch trying to step
into my coverage.
535
00:20:19,848 --> 00:20:22,016
Sorry about that.
That's okay.
536
00:20:22,100 --> 00:20:24,227
You know, Randall, look,
I'm here to be honest,
537
00:20:24,310 --> 00:20:26,104
and that's why I told you
this story.
538
00:20:26,271 --> 00:20:28,356
No one's perfect,
and we all make mistakes.
539
00:20:28,940 --> 00:20:31,109
I just happened
to make a whole hell of a lot of them.
540
00:20:31,359 --> 00:20:32,819
Hey, Karen.
541
00:20:32,902 --> 00:20:34,988
- I brought you this.
- Thanks.
542
00:20:35,071 --> 00:20:36,072
Nice jeans.
543
00:20:36,865 --> 00:20:38,366
I was just telling everyone
about the match.
544
00:20:38,450 --> 00:20:40,118
When your dad did
that sunset flip-
545
00:20:40,201 --> 00:20:41,703
which was badass-
546
00:20:41,786 --> 00:20:43,705
it, like,
totally changed my life.
547
00:20:43,913 --> 00:20:45,832
Ugh, at the flea market?
548
00:20:46,791 --> 00:20:49,043
Ugh, yes,
that part was disgusting.
549
00:20:49,127 --> 00:20:52,714
It was like a cursed mall,
but the show was really fun.
550
00:20:52,797 --> 00:20:55,049
Aw, that's awesome, man.
551
00:20:55,133 --> 00:20:57,093
My neighbor's throwing
a garage sale next week.
552
00:20:57,177 --> 00:20:58,470
Maybe your dad can
main event that.
553
00:20:58,553 --> 00:21:00,513
My brother was there.
554
00:21:00,597 --> 00:21:03,475
He said there were, like,
ten people in the audience.
555
00:21:03,558 --> 00:21:04,934
There's ten people
here right now.
556
00:21:05,018 --> 00:21:07,020
This was the audience.
557
00:21:07,103 --> 00:21:09,939
I mean, it doesn't even matter.
Wrestling's all fake anyway.
558
00:21:12,984 --> 00:21:14,152
Oh!
559
00:21:16,446 --> 00:21:18,907
Never use the F-word.
560
00:21:18,990 --> 00:21:20,700
Wait, so you
knocked him out cold.
561
00:21:20,784 --> 00:21:22,911
Ah. Um...
562
00:21:23,870 --> 00:21:26,539
We just scooped
everyone in the country.
563
00:21:26,623 --> 00:21:28,416
- Scooped 'em all.
- Yeah, we did.
564
00:21:28,440 --> 00:21:33,440
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