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This programme contains strong
language and adult humour.
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Hello. Good evening to you
and a warm welcome to
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Taskmaster or, as my nan calls it,
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"What, that silly thing you do
where you pretend you're cross
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"because a comedian hasn't counted
some ducks properly or something?"
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"Get lost, Nan,
you haven't even seen it!
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"You've been dead for 15 years!
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"You're such a chopsy nan.
Why can't you just say, 'Ooh!?'"
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Have they not got
a ghost knitting club?!
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Back in this dimension,
things are going well for some
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00:01:02,320 --> 00:01:04,160
and really badly for others.
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Please welcome our earthly five
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00:01:06,120 --> 00:01:07,840
who are still alive - they are
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Dara O Briain,
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Fern Brady,
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00:01:13,680 --> 00:01:15,760
John Kearns,
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00:01:15,800 --> 00:01:17,720
Munya Chawawa
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and Sarah Millican.
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CHEERING
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00:01:23,920 --> 00:01:26,400
And next to me a man
who dots the I's
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and crosses the T's, he wets
the bed, he likes to please,
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he cries a lot, his winkle smells,
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and he still shoplifts
to get attention.
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It's horrible Alex Horne!
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Hi.
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00:01:41,880 --> 00:01:43,960
Hi! Hi. How have you been since
the last show?
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Terrific, thank you.
I've joined a cult.
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Oh, have you?
Love it, love it. Love the cult.
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Yeah. Just a small one,
just the three of us.
30
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Me, my wife, Alan.
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That's it, just the three of us
in Alan's vehicle.
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Right, and what do you do in there?
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Never you mind, Greg!
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Right, then, on with
the show proper.
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What's the old prize task then?
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Hmm. Great question, Greg.
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I'm on it, Papa GD,
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and today you have asked them
to bring in the best thing
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you've ever received in the post.
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Ooh!
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Hey, guys, remember post?
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They shove stuff through
a hole in your door.
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Greg here will give five points to
the person he thinks has brought in
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the best thing they've received
in the post
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and then at the end of the show
the overall winner will take home
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all five things
to start a new life in a new home.
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It's very post- uh, modern.
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LAUGHTER
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Munya!
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So I have bought in
the Suckertron 3000.
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Here it is. This isn't the official
name, so don't Google it cos I,
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I don't know what's gonna come up.
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Greg, have you ever been sat there
on your laptop devouring a bag
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of crisps and you look down
at the keyboard
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and there's enough crumbs
to feed a small family? Yeah.
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That ever happen to you?
Of course it has.
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OK, now. Have a look!
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This thing here sucks those crumbs.
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Although I have googled
Suckertron 3000.
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Yeah? Ooh!
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God!
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It comes up some...
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That looks like it smells!
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Sarah, can you beat a mini vacuum?
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So, from the age of about ten or 12,
I've loved Phillip Schofield
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and I had a lot of posters of him
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and I took a photo of myself,
of me in my bedroom,
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with my perm and all of my posters
of Phillip Schofield
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and I sent it to him,
presumably for him to keep.
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He sent it back.
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This came through
the post to Sarah.
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Aww!
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Whoa.
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Shit's weird.
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Look how pleased I am!
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He's not on the, uh,
crucifix, is he?
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LAUGHTER
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A true fan!
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It's sort of so on
the line between being quite sweet
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and being terrifying.
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This is very strong so far.
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So far. Who's next? Fern.
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I don't know if this is the best
thing or the worst thing
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but for years now my mum
has been sending me
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the most unbelievably ugly pants,
uh, that I've ever seen.
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Here are Fern's mum's pants.
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My mum I believe was sending me
these as some sort
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of ch-chastity belt type thing.
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Uh, and was there a note with them?
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Uh, just, "This is
a little present for you."
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"Love, Mum."
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Yeah.
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John can you beat some, erm,
special pants?
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I've gone down the same route
Sarah has.
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OK. Nostalgia.
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Yeah. My, uh,
Dennis the Menace Fan Club
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membership and badges.
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Here it is.
Sweet.
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I'm surprised, John,
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because I was a member
of that as well.
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But surely there's
a significant gulf in our ages.
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Yeah, two generations I had down.
All right!
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You know if you met a,
uh, another member...
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Which you just have.
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..Yeah, so I say, "Ding," you say...
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Dong!
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Dong stood for Dennis
Owns Naughty Gnasher.
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Can't, I can't remember what Ding
stood for!
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"Dennis Is Never Good,"
is the ding one. Ah.
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Yeah. That's really sweet, John,
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and very clever cos you've tapped
into my childhood as well.
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Um, Dara.
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I brought a thing that shouldn't be
sent in the post,
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uh, which is an entire turkey.
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Here it is.
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LAUGHTER
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Wow!
118
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My mother's cousins lived in
County Mayo, they had a farm,
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uh, and every Christmas
they would send us
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the turkey we ate at Christmas.
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This was full turkey,
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head squeezed in, box
just wrapped around it,
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misshapen. You'd pop it up, like,
whatever, "Bwark!"
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Uh, and it would appear.
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Proper pre-butcher turkey
in the post.
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And we had to collect it
from the post depot
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every year round about mid-December.
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Yeah, someone's gonna win
that tonight.
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It's best thing
to receive through the post, Greg.
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What's the worst thing
to receive through the post?
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I mean probably the worst thing
to receive,
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and I think she'd agree
with me, is Fern's mum's pants.
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Don't, but don't keep saying "Mum's
pants" cos she might be upset
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when this goes out!
135
00:06:23,720 --> 00:06:27,120
You're only getting one point
and she's gonna be angry anyway.
136
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What?! I'm only getting one?
It's the best thing.
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Oh, yeah. I see.
The competition was the best thing.
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Yeah, yeah.
Right so one point to Fern Brady.
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I mean in many ways it's the thing
that makes my heart sing the most.
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But I also think it's awful
to get a turkey through the post.
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It's not the best thing.
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It was at Christmas.
I'm not suggesting for a second
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that your Christmases
weren't heartbreaking, Dara.
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OK, so two points to Dara O Briain.
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He tapped into my childhood.
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We crossed the generations like
the true Ding-Dongers we are.
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I'll give him three points.
OK, three points to John Kearns.
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Yeah, yeah. Well done. So, it's the
top two now. Munya or Sarah.
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00:07:01,520 --> 00:07:04,760
Let me tell you - my keyboard
looks like a war zone.
150
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But I'm only gonna give it
four points. Oh.
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Obviously the best thing
to get through the post is
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a picture of Sarah Millican
surrounded by Philip Schofields.
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Everyone knows that.
There it is, five points.
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Five points. Well done,
Sarah Millican.
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What's first, please?
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Mmm-mmm...mmmilk!
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Hello.
Hello, Munya.
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Oh. I love milk!
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Microwaves on plinths.
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Milk on microwaves.
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Oh, what we having for tea?
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Bread.
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Peas.
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00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:03,120
Yes, there's five minutes
to go on that.
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And there is just a minute
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00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:08,920
to go on what appears
to be just bread.
167
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Is this just your lunch?
There's a lot of peas
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for one person.
I would worry about your guts.
169
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Do you like peas?
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00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:17,120
Erm, I don't like milky peas.
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And there's a little bowl
there as well. Yeah.
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So stuff's gotta get mixed.
Stuff's gotta get mixed.
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Shall I open my task?
174
00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:29,080
I wouldn't open it yet.
175
00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:31,400
OK. Mm-hm.
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I wouldn't open it yet.
177
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I wouldn't open it yet
if I were you. No?
178
00:08:37,720 --> 00:08:39,360
I wouldn't open it just yet.
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00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:41,440
Why? I'm just saying
I wouldn't open it yet.
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00:08:45,800 --> 00:08:48,960
I should open this because, you
know, this thing's counting down.
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00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:52,120
Yeah. And you just said, "Well, I
wouldn't if I were you," kind of...
182
00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:54,480
I wouldn't if I were you. But that's
the kind of thing where it'll get
183
00:08:54,520 --> 00:08:56,560
to two minutes and you go,
"Why didn't you open it?" Mm-hm.
184
00:08:56,600 --> 00:08:57,960
So I'm not allowed
to look at this yet?
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You're allowed to look at that
whenever you want.
186
00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:01,120
You said no, though.
You're allowed to.
187
00:09:01,160 --> 00:09:02,880
I just said
I wouldn't if I were you.
188
00:09:02,920 --> 00:09:04,120
Why? I know what's in it.
189
00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:12,160
Let me ask you, er, Sarah,
uh, all of you,
190
00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:15,040
how does it make you feel when
Alex does something like that?
191
00:09:15,080 --> 00:09:16,640
What emotional response?
192
00:09:16,680 --> 00:09:19,000
No, no, I'm, I'm sorry are we doing
therapy now? Uh...
193
00:09:19,040 --> 00:09:21,680
Just wondering how it makes you feel
about Alex, that's all.
194
00:09:21,720 --> 00:09:24,120
I feel powerless. Uh, I feel...
195
00:09:24,160 --> 00:09:26,200
SARAH HONKS WITH LAUGHTER
196
00:09:26,240 --> 00:09:27,480
Come on, milky peas.
197
00:09:27,520 --> 00:09:28,560
Ooh, I've got a nickname.
198
00:09:30,240 --> 00:09:33,880
Well, we're gonna begin by standing
firm with John and Fern.
199
00:09:35,320 --> 00:09:36,960
Well, when do I open it?
200
00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:38,520
Whenever you want.
201
00:09:39,640 --> 00:09:43,000
Wouldn't open it yet if I were you.
Yeah, but you're not me.
202
00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:45,080
What's your name? John.
203
00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:46,200
Star sign? Kearns.
204
00:09:48,120 --> 00:09:49,840
Really? What did you ask me?
205
00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:51,080
Star sign.
206
00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:54,520
Oh! Well,
people usually go "First name...
207
00:09:54,560 --> 00:09:55,560
Right.
208
00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:57,000
..then they go, "last name".
209
00:09:57,040 --> 00:09:58,600
Right. Aries.
210
00:09:59,760 --> 00:10:00,760
Hmm.
211
00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:02,400
28 minutes.
212
00:10:02,440 --> 00:10:03,840
Place of birth?
213
00:10:03,880 --> 00:10:05,520
St Thomas' Hospital.
214
00:10:05,560 --> 00:10:07,320
Are you opening it?
Do you want me to open it?
215
00:10:07,360 --> 00:10:09,520
I wouldn't open it.
But why are you saying that?!
216
00:10:09,560 --> 00:10:10,720
What's your star sign?
217
00:10:10,760 --> 00:10:12,120
Gemini.
218
00:10:12,160 --> 00:10:13,280
How high can you jump?
219
00:10:13,320 --> 00:10:14,440
Ooh.
220
00:10:16,760 --> 00:10:17,960
A foot?
221
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:19,400
PING!
222
00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:21,720
Ah, bread's ready.
223
00:10:21,760 --> 00:10:24,000
What's with all the questions?
224
00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:27,240
Who's your favourite singer, John?
Uh, Rufus Wainwright.
225
00:10:27,280 --> 00:10:28,440
Yuk.
226
00:10:29,720 --> 00:10:30,960
Ah.
227
00:10:33,840 --> 00:10:36,240
Got more questions if you
want them. Yeah, go on, then.
228
00:10:36,280 --> 00:10:37,520
Phobias? No, nothing.
229
00:10:37,560 --> 00:10:39,840
Biggest regret?
I'm not gonna say
230
00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:43,400
I live my life without regrets
but I tend not to dwell on them.
231
00:10:43,440 --> 00:10:44,960
Just give me a regret.
232
00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:47,280
I don't really have any
but I'm not one of these kind
233
00:10:47,320 --> 00:10:48,800
of people that doesn't
have regrets.
234
00:10:48,840 --> 00:10:50,600
So you do have regrets.
I've got regrets, yeah.
235
00:10:50,640 --> 00:10:51,920
Right, what's your biggest one?
236
00:10:55,720 --> 00:10:57,720
Fuck this. You been to Greece?
No, no, you're mad. Huh?
237
00:10:57,760 --> 00:10:59,840
Have you been to Greece?
No. All right.
238
00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:03,080
Within 30 seconds
of opening this task...
239
00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:05,320
You must pick up both milk bottles
240
00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:08,160
and hold them directly above
the microwaves.
241
00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:10,720
The clock stops when
a milk bottle, hand...
242
00:11:10,760 --> 00:11:13,200
Or arm...
BOTH: Touches the microwave.
243
00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:15,840
Or is no longer directly
above a microwave.
244
00:11:15,880 --> 00:11:17,800
Lowest number on the clock wins
245
00:11:17,840 --> 00:11:21,160
but if the clock reaches zero
you're disqualified.
246
00:11:21,200 --> 00:11:23,680
I'm a strong boy.
247
00:11:23,720 --> 00:11:27,000
I'm not joking. I've had
a shoulder injury recently that,
248
00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:29,480
er, and I cannae... Mm.
249
00:11:29,520 --> 00:11:31,800
You can put...there we go.
Thank you.
250
00:11:37,640 --> 00:11:39,360
Few regrets now. Mm-hm.
251
00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:41,080
Well, I tried to warn you.
252
00:11:45,400 --> 00:11:46,680
Um...
253
00:11:46,720 --> 00:11:49,800
It's just struck the microwave
there so I'll stop the clock.
254
00:11:49,840 --> 00:11:52,000
That's why I didn't want you
to open the task.
255
00:11:52,040 --> 00:11:53,160
Why?
256
00:11:53,200 --> 00:11:54,800
Well, so the clock
would go down more.
257
00:11:55,760 --> 00:11:59,160
Oh, so it's OK, so I'm...
Someone might do worse.
258
00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:01,400
Yeah, someone might do worse.
OK. OK, bye!
259
00:12:09,080 --> 00:12:11,360
I quote John during
the actual task - "Fuck this!"
260
00:12:13,720 --> 00:12:15,600
Cos he kept asking me
my biggest regret.
261
00:12:15,640 --> 00:12:17,240
You don't have regrets.
262
00:12:17,280 --> 00:12:21,920
Although you're not someone
who DOESN'T have regrets.
263
00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:23,600
I've got regrets,
we've all got regrets.
264
00:12:23,640 --> 00:12:25,640
We've all got regrets.
But I don't live with them.
265
00:12:25,680 --> 00:12:27,040
So where are they?
266
00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:31,720
Oh, they're up there.
267
00:12:31,760 --> 00:12:32,760
But I don't go there.
268
00:12:34,280 --> 00:12:37,440
You shut the door. Oh,
they're high, they're top shelf.
269
00:12:37,480 --> 00:12:39,760
They're top shelf.
You can't reach them.
270
00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:41,400
Oh, they're too...
You can't get to them!
271
00:12:41,440 --> 00:12:43,840
Uh... I, I can't get to my regrets!
272
00:12:43,880 --> 00:12:45,000
Fern, enjoy that task?
273
00:12:45,040 --> 00:12:47,120
No, like, I did have
a shoulder injury.
274
00:12:47,160 --> 00:12:48,280
How'd you injure your shoulder?
275
00:12:48,320 --> 00:12:49,480
I went to the gym
276
00:12:49,520 --> 00:12:52,920
and then I was trying to compete
with the man next to me.
277
00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:54,880
Do you regret the whole thing
down the gym or not?
278
00:12:54,920 --> 00:12:57,080
Yeah, uh, I, I do really regret it!
279
00:12:57,120 --> 00:12:58,640
It really messed me up for ages
280
00:12:58,680 --> 00:13:00,200
and then meant I messed up
that task.
281
00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:03,240
Well, maybe take that regret
and pop it in John's mind shelf!
282
00:13:06,400 --> 00:13:07,880
All right, it's the end of part one.
283
00:13:07,920 --> 00:13:09,640
We're gonna have
a break while you have
284
00:13:09,680 --> 00:13:12,400
a conversation about doing
an online food shop.
285
00:13:12,440 --> 00:13:15,840
You used to make love,
so make love, now!
286
00:13:15,880 --> 00:13:17,600
He'll time you!
Go!
287
00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:26,640
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
288
00:13:30,480 --> 00:13:32,960
Hello, again! welcome back
to Taskmaster.
289
00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:35,960
It's part two and there's
a lab-based task in play.
290
00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:38,400
Yes, and it's a fiendish one.
291
00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:40,480
Next up it's Dairy Dara,
292
00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:43,360
Sarah Milkycan and
Milkman Munya. here we go.
293
00:13:43,400 --> 00:13:45,160
What's your star sign?
294
00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:46,960
Uh... Aquarius.
295
00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:50,680
I've got more questions.
I bet you do.
296
00:13:50,720 --> 00:13:52,400
What's your name? Sarah.
297
00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:53,920
Sarah...? Millican.
298
00:13:53,960 --> 00:13:56,960
How high can you jump, or what's
the highest you've ever jumped?
299
00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:58,840
Just little.
Like, the size of a mouse.
300
00:13:58,880 --> 00:13:59,880
What's your name?
301
00:13:59,920 --> 00:14:01,600
no, I'm not playing.
Let, let me, let me check this.
302
00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:03,440
Within 30 seconds
of opening this task you must...
303
00:14:03,480 --> 00:14:06,160
"Pick up both milk bottles and hold
them directly above the microwaves."
304
00:14:06,200 --> 00:14:07,360
Any opinions on milk?
305
00:14:07,400 --> 00:14:08,440
Gives me the shits.
306
00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:10,760
How much do you need to have?
307
00:14:10,800 --> 00:14:12,320
I wouldn't want THAT amount.
308
00:14:12,360 --> 00:14:13,400
That's six pints.
309
00:14:13,440 --> 00:14:15,480
Might as well just pour it straight
through. Um...
310
00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:22,600
Well, Jesus, "but as the clock
reaches zero you are disqualified."
311
00:14:27,680 --> 00:14:29,320
Oh, well, you've...
312
00:14:29,360 --> 00:14:30,960
Wait, what?
313
00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:33,560
Hang on, what? Wait. Wait, what?
314
00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:36,920
Lift them above the microwaves,
ready?
315
00:14:38,480 --> 00:14:39,600
Right, OK.
316
00:14:39,640 --> 00:14:41,520
BREATHES DEEPLY
317
00:14:41,560 --> 00:14:43,840
MICROWAVE DINGS
Yes.
318
00:14:43,880 --> 00:14:45,560
Well done. You see that? Yeah.
319
00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:47,560
Gotta keep my biceps contracted.
320
00:14:47,600 --> 00:14:49,600
Like a constipated eagle.
321
00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:52,640
MICROWAVE DINGS
Oh.
322
00:14:52,680 --> 00:14:55,000
It's exciting, isn't it, even
after all these years?
323
00:14:55,040 --> 00:14:58,160
Isn't it exciting
when a microwave pings?
324
00:14:58,200 --> 00:15:00,320
Wait, what, what, what clock?
325
00:15:00,360 --> 00:15:02,400
Have I, have I stopped?
Yeah, you stopped.
326
00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:05,480
Yeah, you put the milk bottles on
the microwave. Oh, no!
327
00:15:11,200 --> 00:15:12,600
Arse.
328
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:15,720
Oh, you know what?
We're gonna do it.
329
00:15:17,880 --> 00:15:19,440
Uh, hold them up.
330
00:15:19,480 --> 00:15:24,160
Ooh, I need to lift them up like
that. This is heavy.
331
00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:25,680
Yeah.
332
00:15:25,720 --> 00:15:27,880
Shoulders are starting
to hurt a bit.
333
00:15:29,240 --> 00:15:30,880
Could technically raise my arms.
334
00:15:30,920 --> 00:15:34,720
Yes, you must be over the,
directly over the microwaves still.
335
00:15:36,640 --> 00:15:39,480
I don't know if this is more
difficult or easier.
336
00:15:39,520 --> 00:15:41,520
It's impressive.
337
00:15:41,560 --> 00:15:42,600
Ah.
338
00:15:42,640 --> 00:15:44,680
How long have I been doing this?
339
00:15:44,720 --> 00:15:46,000
Three minutes.
340
00:15:46,040 --> 00:15:48,680
At no point did you say they had
to be full though, did you?
341
00:15:48,720 --> 00:15:50,960
Take that off.
Right.
342
00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:52,520
Yeah.
343
00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:55,000
Yeah, I was tempted to
throw it on you.
344
00:15:55,040 --> 00:15:56,560
AUDIENCE WHOOPS, APPLAUSE
345
00:15:57,800 --> 00:15:59,240
Sorry, everybody.
346
00:16:01,480 --> 00:16:04,320
Ah, like a milky torture.
347
00:16:05,720 --> 00:16:07,320
Ooh.
348
00:16:09,640 --> 00:16:12,600
That's it,
milk just got the microwave.
349
00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:14,600
Yeah.
350
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:17,280
Well, now that's just touched there
I'm afraid. Oh, has it?
351
00:16:17,320 --> 00:16:18,800
Yeah, so that's enough.
352
00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:21,720
Oh, no. Look at my boots.
353
00:16:21,760 --> 00:16:23,720
No, look at the floor, Sarah.
354
00:16:23,760 --> 00:16:25,880
Oh, I should've tipped them
out before.
355
00:16:25,920 --> 00:16:27,720
I could've brought that to you.
356
00:16:27,760 --> 00:16:29,800
Sorry, everybody.
357
00:16:29,840 --> 00:16:32,400
APPLAUSE
358
00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:38,520
To drain the milky vessels.
359
00:16:38,560 --> 00:16:40,200
Mm. Very clever. Very clever.
360
00:16:40,240 --> 00:16:42,000
I felt, I didn't wanna make a mess
361
00:16:42,040 --> 00:16:43,800
and I felt really bad
I made such a mess.
362
00:16:43,840 --> 00:16:45,440
Throughout the series whenever,
363
00:16:45,480 --> 00:16:47,680
when Munya, when you came into the
lab, every time he went,
364
00:16:47,720 --> 00:16:49,560
"It stinks in here". Oh.
365
00:16:49,600 --> 00:16:53,440
Throughout the series. That's her.
366
00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:55,120
Uh, and if you,
367
00:16:55,160 --> 00:16:58,440
if you think that's bad you should
go round to Dara's at Christmas.
368
00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:02,960
So they cleaned and there was a
pocket they couldn't find
369
00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:05,080
cos it still stank and then
eventually it was found.
370
00:17:05,120 --> 00:17:06,480
It...it was under the flooring.
371
00:17:06,520 --> 00:17:08,040
Millican's milky pocket.
372
00:17:09,880 --> 00:17:12,160
Now stark contrast,
373
00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:13,880
get a bit confused, old man?
374
00:17:16,640 --> 00:17:20,080
That has haunted me, that task.
375
00:17:20,120 --> 00:17:24,880
And it is on a low rung of
the regret shelves. Uh...
376
00:17:24,920 --> 00:17:26,960
Oh, one you can easily access.
377
00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:29,480
Oh, it's eye level.
It is absolutely eye level.
378
00:17:29,520 --> 00:17:32,280
But much like on a summer's day if
you wandering through a meadow
379
00:17:32,320 --> 00:17:35,040
and you might just catch
a beautiful butterfly.
380
00:17:35,080 --> 00:17:37,800
We've caught the moment
where Dara realised
381
00:17:37,840 --> 00:17:39,560
that he's totally fucked this.
382
00:17:41,280 --> 00:17:42,680
Wait, what?
383
00:17:42,720 --> 00:17:44,720
Hang on, what? Wait.
384
00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:46,360
Wait, what?
385
00:17:48,320 --> 00:17:49,920
Yes.
386
00:17:49,960 --> 00:17:54,400
So it's "wait, what?" Yes. "What?
Wait. Wait, what?" "Wait, what?"
387
00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:55,840
Uh, yeah.
388
00:17:55,880 --> 00:17:59,160
Munya does everything
with absolute commitment.
389
00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:01,320
It's incredible.
390
00:18:01,360 --> 00:18:04,600
I imagine you clean your teeth like
let's do, let's do this.
391
00:18:05,880 --> 00:18:08,840
In my mind I felt like
Moses and the Red Sea.
392
00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:11,280
Know what I mean,
just holding the milk.
393
00:18:11,320 --> 00:18:14,840
Fricking, the microwave is blowing
that's Jesus whispering to me.
394
00:18:14,880 --> 00:18:17,640
Honestly it, it, I had a vision.
395
00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:20,440
Well, yeah, I mean, Sarah did it
well in every single way.
396
00:18:20,480 --> 00:18:22,720
She, she delayed the most with
the questions
397
00:18:22,760 --> 00:18:24,760
and then she found a technique
so she did well.
398
00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:27,760
Lowest number wins.
Dara, unfortunately, comes last.
399
00:18:29,120 --> 00:18:31,040
26 minutes 55.
400
00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:33,840
Fern gets two points
with 26 minutes and four seconds.
401
00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:36,760
Then Munya who held them up for over
four minutes, which is amazing.
402
00:18:36,800 --> 00:18:39,960
They're, each one is the weight of
a chihuahua, genuinely.
403
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:41,760
Uh, 25 minutes and four seconds.
404
00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:43,840
John held out longer than
you, though.
405
00:18:43,880 --> 00:18:46,240
23 minutes and 30 seconds.
Sarah wins it, though,
406
00:18:46,280 --> 00:18:48,280
with 16 minutes and 58 seconds
and five points.
407
00:18:48,320 --> 00:18:49,640
Wow.
408
00:18:49,680 --> 00:18:50,960
CHEERING, APPLAUSE
409
00:18:52,520 --> 00:18:54,800
Right, scoreboard, please.
410
00:18:54,840 --> 00:18:57,520
Well, I can tell you Dara
and Fern are in joint last,
411
00:18:57,560 --> 00:18:59,360
John and Munya in joint second.
412
00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:01,560
Sarah, though, is in the lead
with ten points.
413
00:19:05,320 --> 00:19:07,680
Well, I, for one, am ready
for another.
414
00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:10,560
Oh, well, I'm ready for a holiday.
415
00:19:30,080 --> 00:19:33,840
Hello. What's on your iPad?
416
00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:35,920
Oh, Fern Brady.
417
00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:37,040
Is that you?
418
00:19:37,080 --> 00:19:38,520
Uh, that's me, yeah.
419
00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:43,080
Dara O Briain?
420
00:19:43,120 --> 00:19:44,360
Yes, that's me.
421
00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:45,680
I'm waiting for Munya Chawawa.
422
00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:48,680
Yes, that's me, you even spelt my
name right. Sick.
423
00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:52,440
Hello. Welcome home.
Is this your suitcase?
424
00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:53,680
No, that's your suitcase.
425
00:19:53,720 --> 00:19:54,880
Oh, no.
426
00:19:54,920 --> 00:19:56,520
Where are we off to today?
427
00:19:58,240 --> 00:20:02,840
"Get to the end of the lanes in
exactly the same amount of time."
428
00:20:02,880 --> 00:20:04,680
One lane, two lanes.
429
00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:07,520
"That time must be
under one minute."
430
00:20:07,560 --> 00:20:09,880
"Closest two times wins."
431
00:20:09,920 --> 00:20:12,840
"Also, you must mirror yourself
during your attempts."
432
00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:17,000
"There are two bonus points for
the most stylish mirroring."
433
00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:18,920
Mirroring.
434
00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:20,600
Mirror-ing.
435
00:20:20,640 --> 00:20:25,320
"Both attempts must take place
within the next ten minutes."
436
00:20:25,360 --> 00:20:27,200
This is lane one, there... Yeah.
437
00:20:27,240 --> 00:20:28,720
..on the flat. Yeah.
438
00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:31,200
This is lane two, it's a travelator.
Yeah.
439
00:20:31,240 --> 00:20:34,760
And you wanna reach to the ends of
them at exactly the same time.
440
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:37,000
I can tell you, if you were
stationary on that... Yes.
441
00:20:37,040 --> 00:20:38,720
..takes about one minute 25.
442
00:20:38,760 --> 00:20:40,680
The time I do it in must be
under a minute,
443
00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:42,600
so I cannot be stationary on it.
444
00:20:42,640 --> 00:20:45,000
Hmm, sneaky, sneaky, sneaky.
445
00:20:45,040 --> 00:20:47,840
Well, there's no, there's no point
going quick on here
446
00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:50,240
because that'll mean I have
to go double quick there.
447
00:20:50,280 --> 00:20:52,400
Can you go double quick?
448
00:20:52,440 --> 00:20:55,800
Greg will give style points to
the most stylish people.
449
00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:57,080
From Greg?
450
00:20:58,200 --> 00:21:00,280
Style points from Greg.
451
00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:02,280
APPLAUSE
452
00:21:04,120 --> 00:21:06,280
Right, it's a pretty
straightforward thing.
453
00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:08,720
just a personal note, I
absolutely love those things.
454
00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:11,040
I genuinely could ride one
of those all day.
455
00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:14,000
It's not that interesting,
but I'm, I'm never more at peace.
456
00:21:16,080 --> 00:21:17,600
Shall I show them what they did?
457
00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:19,800
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, have a look at them, yeah.
458
00:21:21,560 --> 00:21:25,080
First up it's Sarah and Sarah.
459
00:21:25,120 --> 00:21:27,160
Good luck.
Thank you.
460
00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:28,520
Good luck. Thank you.
461
00:22:04,520 --> 00:22:06,160
WHISTLE BLOWS
462
00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:08,280
CHEERING, APPLAUSE
463
00:22:08,320 --> 00:22:10,320
Well, it was very accurate.
464
00:22:10,360 --> 00:22:12,880
Thank you.
It says do it stylishly.
465
00:22:12,920 --> 00:22:15,000
I had a nice coat on.
466
00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:16,480
She had a nice coat.
467
00:22:16,520 --> 00:22:18,800
APPLAUSE
468
00:22:21,360 --> 00:22:23,960
Who's next?
Next, here's what the Daras did.
469
00:23:01,160 --> 00:23:03,120
CHEERING, APPLAUSE
470
00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:09,280
Quite a 70's Soviet vibe you
went for.
471
00:23:10,360 --> 00:23:12,560
Really wasn't that image that
was in my head for that.
472
00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:15,640
Uh, that was applied
retrospectively. Uh...
473
00:23:15,680 --> 00:23:17,560
LAUGHS
474
00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:22,360
Now it's time for Kearns' turn.
475
00:23:53,080 --> 00:23:55,080
APPLAUSE
476
00:23:56,640 --> 00:23:59,000
I mean, pretty impressive, John.
477
00:23:59,040 --> 00:24:01,960
I don't think you'd expect me
to skip like that.
478
00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:03,800
C...correct.
479
00:24:03,840 --> 00:24:06,800
That's quite Willy Wonka vibe you
had going on, I thought.
480
00:24:06,840 --> 00:24:08,520
Yeah, I'm, I'm faster than I look.
481
00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:12,600
I'll make a note,
I'll make a note. Yeah.
482
00:24:12,640 --> 00:24:14,520
You make a note.
"John is faster than he looks."
483
00:24:14,560 --> 00:24:16,360
Oh, well, I'll have to go into
notes.
484
00:24:17,440 --> 00:24:20,200
We're at the halfway point
of this episode.
485
00:24:20,240 --> 00:24:22,840
We've reached the top of the hill.
It's all downhill from here.
486
00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:24,640
Whee!
487
00:24:24,680 --> 00:24:25,760
Uh...
488
00:24:35,280 --> 00:24:37,200
APPLAUSE, CHEERING
489
00:24:38,680 --> 00:24:41,160
Hello, everybody,
and welcome back to Taskmaster.
490
00:24:41,200 --> 00:24:43,360
Can you remind us where we were
please, Alex?
491
00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:45,800
Yes, we were at Gatwick airport,
Greg.
492
00:24:45,840 --> 00:24:48,920
The current task involves having two
walks down two different lanes
493
00:24:48,960 --> 00:24:51,520
and trying to get to
the finish line at the same time,
494
00:24:51,560 --> 00:24:53,680
mirroring your movement on
each attempt.
495
00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:56,080
The only problem is one of the walks
is on a moving travelator.
496
00:24:56,120 --> 00:24:57,840
Also,there are two bonus points for
497
00:24:57,880 --> 00:25:01,880
the most stylish mirroring,
mirroring, mirror-ing.
498
00:25:01,920 --> 00:25:06,800
Talking of mirrors and styling,
here is Munya.
499
00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:08,760
Right, here we go, here we go.
500
00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:13,880
So one, two, three, turn.
501
00:25:16,440 --> 00:25:17,880
Wow.
502
00:25:17,920 --> 00:25:22,680
15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21.
503
00:25:22,720 --> 00:25:24,640
Oh. 22.
504
00:25:38,480 --> 00:25:40,320
Spin that round.
505
00:25:40,360 --> 00:25:41,560
Drop it low.
506
00:25:44,240 --> 00:25:45,640
Ah...
507
00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:48,200
Ah.
508
00:25:54,360 --> 00:25:55,440
What do you think?
509
00:25:55,480 --> 00:25:57,040
Have you finished?
510
00:25:57,080 --> 00:25:58,360
Yeah, yeah.
511
00:26:02,360 --> 00:26:06,160
Quite a thing of beauty to watch, I
thought. I was in awe. Yeah.
512
00:26:06,200 --> 00:26:08,840
Dara. Um, did he ever
cross the line?
513
00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:10,600
Oh, we're like that, is it?
514
00:26:10,640 --> 00:26:14,080
Oh, Dara, is this the man who held
milk for a microsecond?
515
00:26:14,120 --> 00:26:15,400
Microsecond.
516
00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:17,560
Talking to me Mr Wait What
Who What What What.
517
00:26:17,600 --> 00:26:20,000
And you all had
a big fucking party about that.
518
00:26:20,040 --> 00:26:23,480
Hold me back, John,
hold me back, hold me back.
519
00:26:23,520 --> 00:26:26,800
It would seem monstrous
to strip him of his points,
520
00:26:26,840 --> 00:26:29,360
but I guess if that's
what Dara wants.
521
00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:39,720
Would you count that as the end of
the walk, Greg,
522
00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:41,280
I suppose is the question?
523
00:26:41,320 --> 00:26:44,080
Yeah, that's, that's the big
question, isn't it?
524
00:26:44,120 --> 00:26:47,160
I think enough of that case is over
the line, that's what I think.
525
00:26:47,200 --> 00:26:48,240
Yeah... Yeah, Dara.
526
00:26:50,280 --> 00:26:51,440
Who's left?
527
00:26:51,480 --> 00:26:53,560
Well, finally it's Fern.
528
00:26:53,600 --> 00:26:54,840
Ready...
529
00:26:54,880 --> 00:26:56,280
Ready.
530
00:27:38,280 --> 00:27:40,600
APPLAUSE, CHEERING
531
00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:46,520
Sounds like you're a people's
champion anyway.
532
00:27:46,560 --> 00:27:49,440
You talk us through
your performance, uh, Fern I, uh...
533
00:27:49,480 --> 00:27:51,120
From my point of view,
I've written down,
534
00:27:51,160 --> 00:27:53,200
uh, "lacklustre and
wildly inaccurate".
535
00:27:54,720 --> 00:27:57,320
SOBBBING: I...I tried really hard.
536
00:27:59,000 --> 00:28:02,280
I feel like I don't know what's
real any more because...
537
00:28:06,920 --> 00:28:08,840
..because, because at the time,
538
00:28:08,880 --> 00:28:11,520
I kind of thought that there
was some airport staff
539
00:28:11,560 --> 00:28:13,760
and they were looking at me funny.
540
00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:18,040
But I thought, "Oh, they're just
really jealous of my costume".
541
00:28:22,640 --> 00:28:24,560
I didn't know it was that bad.
542
00:28:33,760 --> 00:28:36,120
Unfortunately, Fern, on one side of
543
00:28:36,160 --> 00:28:38,360
the path she did it in 29 seconds,
544
00:28:38,400 --> 00:28:42,480
the other in 45 seconds, so there
was a 16-second difference.
545
00:28:42,520 --> 00:28:45,120
In comparison, the two Daras had
a four-second difference,
546
00:28:45,160 --> 00:28:46,880
the two Munyas a three-second
difference,
547
00:28:46,920 --> 00:28:49,160
the two Johns half
a second difference.
548
00:28:49,200 --> 00:28:50,960
Sarah negligible difference at all.
549
00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:53,120
Wow. So Sarah definitely gets
the five points.
550
00:28:53,160 --> 00:28:54,440
Oh.
551
00:28:58,120 --> 00:29:01,000
Between Munya
and John for the style points.
552
00:29:01,040 --> 00:29:03,120
It's most stylish mirroring.
553
00:29:03,160 --> 00:29:04,640
I think one style point is fair.
554
00:29:04,680 --> 00:29:06,960
One bonus style point to Munya
and one to John.
555
00:29:08,600 --> 00:29:10,240
OK.
556
00:29:10,280 --> 00:29:12,080
I'd like another little task,
please.
557
00:29:12,120 --> 00:29:13,960
Good, well, here's
a lovely little task
558
00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:16,320
where they wear some lovely
little messy hats.
559
00:29:31,880 --> 00:29:35,040
Hello.
Oh, hi there.
560
00:29:35,080 --> 00:29:36,520
Chri...
561
00:29:36,560 --> 00:29:38,200
Hello, Dara.
562
00:29:39,600 --> 00:29:41,400
FERN: Hello, do you like this?
563
00:29:41,440 --> 00:29:42,440
I think so.
564
00:29:44,200 --> 00:29:47,000
And, actually, before you open
it, I just need to do something.
565
00:29:47,040 --> 00:29:48,240
Wait one second.
566
00:29:48,280 --> 00:29:49,640
What you doing?
567
00:29:49,680 --> 00:29:52,000
Nothing.
What you doing? Nothing.
568
00:29:52,040 --> 00:29:54,480
What you doing? Nothing.
Oh, no.
569
00:29:54,520 --> 00:29:56,000
Here it comes.
570
00:29:56,040 --> 00:29:58,240
DARA: What are you doing?
FERN: What are you doing?
571
00:29:58,280 --> 00:30:00,280
PAINT SQUIRTS
Nothing.MUNYA:That's just rude.
572
00:30:00,320 --> 00:30:02,640
You're really pushing me today,
Alex, you know this?
573
00:30:02,680 --> 00:30:04,200
Did you just pour paint in my hat?
574
00:30:04,240 --> 00:30:06,360
Yes.
575
00:30:06,400 --> 00:30:07,400
Oh.
576
00:30:09,080 --> 00:30:10,680
May I ask what you're doing?
577
00:30:10,720 --> 00:30:12,200
No. Oh, right.
578
00:30:13,720 --> 00:30:15,040
Thanks, buddy.
579
00:30:15,080 --> 00:30:17,280
You haven't made me... Wow.
580
00:30:17,320 --> 00:30:18,880
Yeah.
581
00:30:22,880 --> 00:30:24,880
DARA: "Strike the bullseye
with your paint."
582
00:30:24,920 --> 00:30:27,840
SARAH: The bullseye must be round
there, then. OK.
583
00:30:27,880 --> 00:30:30,080
MUNYA: "You must only step on
the stepping stones
584
00:30:30,120 --> 00:30:32,840
"and you must step on all
the stepping stones."
585
00:30:32,880 --> 00:30:36,120
You're, wait, what? No. Oh, Jesus.
586
00:30:36,160 --> 00:30:39,960
"Also, your hands must be below
your waist at all times."
587
00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:43,360
"Fastest wins.
Your time starts now."
588
00:30:43,400 --> 00:30:45,560
APPLAUSE
589
00:30:47,760 --> 00:30:50,640
Interesting, um, reaction from
Dara after he'd spilt
590
00:30:50,680 --> 00:30:52,960
a little paint down his front
when he was trying
591
00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:56,120
to get his head 'round the task.
Oh, do you wanna hear it? Yeah.
592
00:30:56,160 --> 00:30:57,600
You're, wait, what? No.
593
00:30:57,640 --> 00:30:59,120
LAUGHTER
594
00:31:00,320 --> 00:31:03,560
Good, let's go. Yeah, so you've
gotta hit the target with your
paint.
595
00:31:03,600 --> 00:31:05,200
You can only step on
the stepping stones.
596
00:31:05,240 --> 00:31:06,960
You must step on all
the stepping stones.
597
00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:10,200
Hands below the waist, off we go.
First up it's Mun and Fun.
598
00:31:10,240 --> 00:31:12,280
Munya and Fern.
599
00:31:12,320 --> 00:31:14,960
Your time starts now.
600
00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:17,440
OK, Alex, can you talk
whilst I walk, yeah?
601
00:31:17,480 --> 00:31:18,680
I think so.
602
00:31:25,440 --> 00:31:27,280
What the hell? Alex. Yes?
603
00:31:27,320 --> 00:31:30,680
Shit. OK, I need to go back.
I need to get some more. Ah, sh...
604
00:31:32,240 --> 00:31:33,680
You've put paint on the flag.
605
00:31:36,480 --> 00:31:37,680
Oh...
606
00:31:37,720 --> 00:31:39,240
Oh, no.
607
00:31:42,800 --> 00:31:44,240
Right, we're back in this.
608
00:31:47,760 --> 00:31:48,920
Argh!
609
00:31:50,520 --> 00:31:52,080
Is there paint in my hair?
610
00:31:52,120 --> 00:31:54,280
Would you like a shower cap? Yeah.
Yeah.
611
00:31:58,600 --> 00:31:59,600
Right, I'm in.
612
00:32:03,720 --> 00:32:07,520
This is something I learnt...
being a shot girl at uni.
613
00:32:18,720 --> 00:32:21,440
I've done it!
Yeah, I've stopped the clock.
614
00:32:21,480 --> 00:32:25,160
I don't think of the other people
I'm competing against often enough
615
00:32:25,200 --> 00:32:29,160
so I'm thinking of them now,
trying to think how I hate them.
616
00:32:31,360 --> 00:32:32,640
Be careful on this bit.
617
00:32:32,680 --> 00:32:34,080
Oops. Did you see that?
618
00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:35,280
No.
619
00:32:36,920 --> 00:32:38,120
Fuck's sake!
620
00:32:39,640 --> 00:32:40,640
Ugh.
621
00:32:41,880 --> 00:32:43,920
No, it's a bit further than that.
622
00:32:45,920 --> 00:32:47,000
You're nearly there.
623
00:32:57,040 --> 00:32:58,040
Ugh.
624
00:33:03,360 --> 00:33:04,760
APPLAUSE
625
00:33:07,880 --> 00:33:10,080
A bigger contrast between
the two approaches
626
00:33:10,120 --> 00:33:11,480
you couldn't possibly see.
627
00:33:11,520 --> 00:33:14,240
No, I was trying very hard
during that one,
628
00:33:14,280 --> 00:33:17,920
but I'm not all, like,
Munya, leaping about and stuff.
629
00:33:17,960 --> 00:33:21,560
No, I wrote down, "Munya is
an unnecessary action hero."
630
00:33:21,600 --> 00:33:23,080
LAUGHTER
631
00:33:23,120 --> 00:33:27,880
He does action hero moves when he
could just step over something.
632
00:33:27,920 --> 00:33:31,240
When I was at uni, I used to be in
an American football team. Yeah?
633
00:33:31,280 --> 00:33:33,480
And our motto was
"speed and violence",
634
00:33:33,520 --> 00:33:37,720
so basically what that means is
everything you do in life,
635
00:33:37,760 --> 00:33:38,840
speed and violence.
636
00:33:38,880 --> 00:33:41,480
What about, like, knitting?
637
00:33:41,520 --> 00:33:42,840
Speed and violence!
638
00:33:42,880 --> 00:33:44,760
I have a motto, er...
639
00:33:44,800 --> 00:33:46,240
Oh, yeah.
640
00:33:46,280 --> 00:33:49,000
It's in Latin, it's, er,
"waitus, whatus?"
641
00:33:49,040 --> 00:33:54,320
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
642
00:33:54,360 --> 00:33:56,640
Hmm, I mean, Munya was breathtaking
to watch.
643
00:33:56,680 --> 00:33:58,760
There was a tiny little speck
of paint in the bull's-eye.
644
00:33:58,800 --> 00:34:00,840
He did it in 1 minute 30.
It was unbelievably quick.
645
00:34:00,880 --> 00:34:03,760
Yeah, but I thought that Fern was
breathtaking to watch as well.
646
00:34:03,800 --> 00:34:04,880
Yes, yes.
647
00:34:04,920 --> 00:34:06,200
What did she do it in?
648
00:34:06,240 --> 00:34:08,800
Uh, five-and-a-half minutes.
649
00:34:08,840 --> 00:34:09,920
Come on let's crack on.
650
00:34:09,960 --> 00:34:11,840
All right, well there's two more
people now
651
00:34:11,880 --> 00:34:14,080
and I've fudged their names together
to make Sarah MilliKearns.
652
00:34:14,120 --> 00:34:16,360
Sarah and John.
653
00:34:16,400 --> 00:34:17,800
So hands below your waist.
654
00:34:17,840 --> 00:34:19,720
Hands. Can that not do for balance?
655
00:34:19,760 --> 00:34:22,880
Yeah, that's perfect.
That's a bit unfair.
656
00:34:22,920 --> 00:34:25,120
Did you wanna check the task? Yeah.
657
00:34:25,160 --> 00:34:27,320
Well, you can only step on
stepping stones.
658
00:34:33,760 --> 00:34:34,960
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
659
00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:36,000
Oh, no.
660
00:34:40,440 --> 00:34:41,960
Oh, you're kidding me!
661
00:34:49,480 --> 00:34:50,680
Yeah, right.
662
00:34:50,720 --> 00:34:51,960
I mean, yeah, I knew it.
663
00:34:55,080 --> 00:34:56,360
Ooh, bugger.
664
00:35:00,880 --> 00:35:03,920
I mean, I've gone from there
to there!
665
00:35:03,960 --> 00:35:07,520
I mean, it's madness,
how far I've gone.
666
00:35:07,560 --> 00:35:08,840
Hold on.
667
00:35:08,880 --> 00:35:10,000
Ah, you're reversing.
668
00:35:12,520 --> 00:35:14,800
Right, you've just got to stretch,
ain't you?
669
00:35:20,040 --> 00:35:21,680
Ah, well done, John.
670
00:35:21,720 --> 00:35:22,920
Yeah.
671
00:35:22,960 --> 00:35:24,320
How high is my camera?
672
00:35:24,360 --> 00:35:26,040
Oh, I've got paint on my..!
673
00:35:28,640 --> 00:35:29,880
You're through. Oh.
674
00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:44,120
Ah...
675
00:35:51,360 --> 00:35:52,480
HE EXHALES
676
00:35:52,520 --> 00:35:53,520
Right.
677
00:36:17,600 --> 00:36:19,200
Bull's-eye.
678
00:36:31,440 --> 00:36:32,680
Is there one on the bull's-eye?
679
00:36:32,720 --> 00:36:34,240
Yeah. Yeah.
680
00:36:34,280 --> 00:36:35,520
Whoa. Yeah.
681
00:36:41,640 --> 00:36:44,840
The contrast with John
was sensational.
682
00:36:44,880 --> 00:36:48,000
It's literally like watching
an alien pretend to be human.
683
00:36:50,640 --> 00:36:52,760
Significantly worse than Fern.
684
00:36:52,800 --> 00:36:54,840
Yes, eight minutes
and three seconds.
685
00:36:54,880 --> 00:36:56,040
Eight minutes?
686
00:36:56,080 --> 00:36:59,400
Eight minutes and three seconds,
yes. Christ, what was I doing?
687
00:37:01,800 --> 00:37:03,520
Fern's now looking pretty good,
688
00:37:03,560 --> 00:37:06,400
especially because we can see
a picture of Sarah's hands,
689
00:37:06,440 --> 00:37:08,520
er, just slightly above her waist.
690
00:37:08,560 --> 00:37:09,960
Oh, yes.
691
00:37:10,000 --> 00:37:11,760
Yeah, yeah, fair enough,
they are a little bit...
692
00:37:11,800 --> 00:37:13,880
I had very high-waisted
trousers on there.
693
00:37:15,200 --> 00:37:19,240
And sadly I do have to show you this
photo as well, Greg, this one here.
694
00:37:19,280 --> 00:37:20,280
Yeah.
695
00:37:22,320 --> 00:37:25,200
I do have to show you one other
thing as well, which is this.
696
00:37:25,240 --> 00:37:26,640
Oh, no.
697
00:37:26,680 --> 00:37:28,240
Step on all the stepping stones.
698
00:37:28,280 --> 00:37:29,400
Yeah.
699
00:37:31,520 --> 00:37:32,880
Got to speed this up.
700
00:37:35,320 --> 00:37:36,440
Shall I go in here?
701
00:37:36,480 --> 00:37:39,040
All the information's
on the task, Munya.
702
00:37:39,080 --> 00:37:41,200
You must step on all
the stepping stones.
703
00:37:41,240 --> 00:37:42,680
You're labouring that a bit.
704
00:37:42,720 --> 00:37:44,520
You put paint on the flag.
705
00:37:44,560 --> 00:37:46,480
Yeah, OK.
706
00:37:46,520 --> 00:37:47,880
I need this.
707
00:37:49,800 --> 00:37:51,200
Right, OK.
708
00:37:51,240 --> 00:37:52,640
Right, we're back in this.
709
00:37:52,680 --> 00:37:53,800
We're back in.
710
00:37:53,840 --> 00:37:56,240
APPLAUSE
711
00:37:58,320 --> 00:38:00,640
They're dropping like flies!
712
00:38:00,680 --> 00:38:02,920
I tried to warn them.
I tried to help.
713
00:38:02,960 --> 00:38:05,640
Just sounded like you were
being really monotonous.
714
00:38:05,680 --> 00:38:07,640
And I just sort of tuned you out.
715
00:38:07,680 --> 00:38:10,920
Sorry, Alex. "All of them, please,
all of them, please."
716
00:38:10,960 --> 00:38:13,680
It's like a bored bloke
operating a funfair ride.
717
00:38:14,880 --> 00:38:16,240
It's the end of part three
718
00:38:16,280 --> 00:38:19,760
and we're another step closer
to someone being poisoned
719
00:38:19,800 --> 00:38:21,680
by Dara O Briain's raw turkey.
720
00:38:21,720 --> 00:38:23,360
APPLAUSE
721
00:38:34,080 --> 00:38:36,200
Hello, welcome back to Taskmaster.
722
00:38:36,240 --> 00:38:37,600
It's part four of four.
723
00:38:37,640 --> 00:38:40,440
Yes, and there are four losers over
there who failed in obeying
724
00:38:40,480 --> 00:38:43,640
the simple instructions to step on
all the stepping stones.
725
00:38:43,680 --> 00:38:46,440
Hands below their waists before
striking the target with the paint.
726
00:38:46,480 --> 00:38:47,520
It's such a shame.
727
00:38:47,560 --> 00:38:49,840
Thankfully, there is still one ray
of hope,
728
00:38:49,880 --> 00:38:53,520
but his name isn't Ray O Hope -
it's Dara O Briain.
729
00:38:53,560 --> 00:38:55,120
Ray O Hope!
730
00:38:55,160 --> 00:38:56,640
Only stepping stones.
731
00:39:05,760 --> 00:39:06,760
OK.
732
00:39:12,160 --> 00:39:13,440
Lovely.
733
00:39:27,920 --> 00:39:29,320
Wait, what?
734
00:39:29,360 --> 00:39:30,880
Jesus.
735
00:39:30,920 --> 00:39:32,040
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
736
00:39:33,560 --> 00:39:36,160
All right, that should
be enough for now.
737
00:39:38,560 --> 00:39:39,760
Ah, right.
738
00:39:59,480 --> 00:40:01,760
Oh, bull's-eye!
739
00:40:01,800 --> 00:40:03,120
I've stopped the clock.
740
00:40:03,160 --> 00:40:04,280
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
741
00:40:12,600 --> 00:40:13,920
That's got to make up for some of
the
742
00:40:13,960 --> 00:40:15,560
other things in this episode,
hasn't it?
743
00:40:15,600 --> 00:40:17,320
Wait, what?
744
00:40:19,040 --> 00:40:21,760
"Wait, what?" aside, exemplary work.
745
00:40:21,800 --> 00:40:23,760
Thank you. How are you
feeling now, though?
746
00:40:23,800 --> 00:40:26,440
Ah, there's this
faint chink of light.
747
00:40:26,480 --> 00:40:29,440
Er... I'm just waiting for the shoe
to drop.
748
00:40:29,480 --> 00:40:31,600
Waiting for you to go, "But then..."
749
00:40:31,640 --> 00:40:34,040
Come on, stop waiting for
the shoe to drop.
750
00:40:34,080 --> 00:40:36,440
No, it was great.
Yeah, it was great.
751
00:40:36,480 --> 00:40:38,960
Do you wanna see his best bits
cos he was so graceful?
752
00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:40,240
Oh, yeah, that'd be nice.
753
00:40:40,280 --> 00:40:43,520
OK. Here's Dara's best bits. Yeah.
754
00:40:43,560 --> 00:40:45,600
How much paint do I have now?
755
00:40:49,040 --> 00:40:50,160
Shoe.
756
00:40:58,800 --> 00:41:00,680
That seems a little harsh.
757
00:41:00,720 --> 00:41:02,080
I think it's awful, Dara.
758
00:41:02,120 --> 00:41:05,600
It's an awful way to end,
but that's Taskmaster.
759
00:41:05,640 --> 00:41:08,520
Mm-hm. He would've been quick.
4 minutes 45. I mean, not...
760
00:41:08,560 --> 00:41:09,560
Oh, it's quick as well.
761
00:41:09,600 --> 00:41:11,400
Yeah, not as quick as Munya,
of course, 1 minute 30,
762
00:41:11,440 --> 00:41:13,520
but nobody completed the task.
763
00:41:13,560 --> 00:41:15,360
So nobody gets a point.
764
00:41:15,400 --> 00:41:17,400
GROANING
765
00:41:17,440 --> 00:41:19,800
Is there any point in looking
at the scores after that?
766
00:41:19,840 --> 00:41:21,280
Probably not, but let's do it
anyway.
767
00:41:21,320 --> 00:41:24,120
She's in the lead with
15 points, it's Sarah Millican.
768
00:41:24,160 --> 00:41:25,160
Hey!
769
00:41:25,200 --> 00:41:27,280
APPLAUSE
770
00:41:27,320 --> 00:41:31,040
OK, everyone, before you head
up to the stage, Alex has
771
00:41:31,080 --> 00:41:33,240
a very important question for you.
772
00:41:33,280 --> 00:41:34,280
Yes, I do.
773
00:41:34,320 --> 00:41:36,880
I'll start with you, Dara.
Inches or feet?
774
00:41:39,480 --> 00:41:40,480
Inches.
775
00:41:40,520 --> 00:41:42,640
Fern, inches or feet?
776
00:41:42,680 --> 00:41:44,800
Feet.
777
00:41:44,840 --> 00:41:47,240
John. Feet.
778
00:41:47,280 --> 00:41:48,360
Munya. Feet.
779
00:41:48,400 --> 00:41:50,120
And then, finally, Sarah Millican.
780
00:41:50,160 --> 00:41:52,040
Inches. Thank you.
781
00:41:52,080 --> 00:41:54,680
Curiouser and curiouser.
782
00:41:54,720 --> 00:41:56,840
Good. Please make your way to the
stage
783
00:41:56,880 --> 00:41:58,320
for the final task of the show!
784
00:41:58,360 --> 00:41:59,480
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
785
00:42:06,520 --> 00:42:07,840
They got what they wanted.
786
00:42:11,200 --> 00:42:14,920
I don't know what's more
heartbreaking, short or long.
787
00:42:14,960 --> 00:42:16,680
Who's going to read the task, Alex?
788
00:42:16,720 --> 00:42:18,120
John is going to read the task.
789
00:42:19,160 --> 00:42:20,440
All right, John.
790
00:42:22,880 --> 00:42:26,960
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
791
00:42:31,240 --> 00:42:34,920
"Paint a picture of a unicorn
using your head brush.
792
00:42:36,720 --> 00:42:40,600
"You may not handle your
head brush at any point.
793
00:42:40,640 --> 00:42:42,200
"You have two minutes."
794
00:42:42,240 --> 00:42:44,040
That's it - paint a
picture of a unicorn.
795
00:42:44,080 --> 00:42:47,000
Would you like them to paint
a specific unicorn?
796
00:42:47,040 --> 00:42:48,320
I'd like him to be prancing.
797
00:42:48,360 --> 00:42:49,760
You have two minutes starting...
798
00:42:51,520 --> 00:42:52,640
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
799
00:43:16,800 --> 00:43:21,080
AUDIENCE: Five, four, three, two,
one!
800
00:43:21,120 --> 00:43:22,560
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
801
00:43:22,600 --> 00:43:23,600
WHISTLE BLOWS
802
00:43:25,200 --> 00:43:27,800
OK, please step back on
your circles.
803
00:43:27,840 --> 00:43:29,400
Show me them prancers.
804
00:43:29,440 --> 00:43:31,520
We're going to start
with Dara O Briain.
805
00:43:31,560 --> 00:43:35,120
The short brush has got to be
an advantage, surely?
806
00:43:35,160 --> 00:43:36,320
Is it, though? Is it?
807
00:43:36,360 --> 00:43:37,680
Oh...
808
00:43:37,720 --> 00:43:39,120
Oh!
809
00:43:39,160 --> 00:43:40,160
APPLAUSE
810
00:43:43,160 --> 00:43:46,320
That is one jaunty prancer.
811
00:43:47,920 --> 00:43:49,640
Hello, Fern. Hello.
812
00:43:50,680 --> 00:43:52,200
Here we go!
813
00:43:54,040 --> 00:43:55,040
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
814
00:43:57,640 --> 00:43:59,040
Which end's which?
815
00:43:59,080 --> 00:44:02,320
Well! Well, it's got a horn coming
out with some green
816
00:44:02,360 --> 00:44:04,040
and different colours and...
Oh, yeah.
817
00:44:04,080 --> 00:44:08,360
What I see is two fences,
a big orange and a pepper.
818
00:44:09,760 --> 00:44:11,000
Hello, John. Hi, hi.
819
00:44:11,040 --> 00:44:12,120
Going to regret this?
820
00:44:12,160 --> 00:44:13,160
Yeah, cool.
821
00:44:14,960 --> 00:44:15,960
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
822
00:44:18,320 --> 00:44:21,160
You know where the horn is, though,
at least.
823
00:44:21,200 --> 00:44:23,440
I know where the big red line is.
824
00:44:23,480 --> 00:44:25,760
It's next to the four green lines.
825
00:44:28,560 --> 00:44:30,800
Not bad, not bad.
826
00:44:30,840 --> 00:44:32,840
APPLAUSE
827
00:44:32,880 --> 00:44:35,760
"Not bad"?
It looks like a long-legged lobster.
828
00:44:39,800 --> 00:44:41,320
But at least it looks
like a creature.
829
00:44:41,360 --> 00:44:43,680
And, finally, hello, Sarah. Hi.
830
00:44:45,080 --> 00:44:46,600
Oh.
831
00:44:46,640 --> 00:44:47,880
Oh.
832
00:44:47,920 --> 00:44:49,200
APPLAUSE
833
00:44:49,240 --> 00:44:50,480
Lovely.
834
00:44:50,520 --> 00:44:54,760
I tried to show movement,
but that just ended up as flowers.
835
00:44:56,600 --> 00:44:58,560
It looks like Troy's horse.
836
00:44:58,600 --> 00:45:01,400
It's a powerful beast. Thanks.
837
00:45:01,440 --> 00:45:04,200
Oh! So you lot chose inches.
838
00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:10,560
Greg, you need to
judge these right now.
839
00:45:10,600 --> 00:45:12,200
OK, well, I'm giving John Kearns
840
00:45:12,240 --> 00:45:14,800
one point because he's done
a series of lines.
841
00:45:14,840 --> 00:45:16,040
One point to John.
842
00:45:16,080 --> 00:45:18,400
I'm giving two points to a
woman who's drawn two fences,
843
00:45:18,440 --> 00:45:20,480
a pepper and an orange. Fern Brady.
844
00:45:20,520 --> 00:45:22,560
I'm giving three points to
the long-legged lobster.
845
00:45:22,600 --> 00:45:23,840
Congratulations, Munya.
846
00:45:23,880 --> 00:45:27,720
I'm giving four points to the
majestic horse of Troy, being as it
847
00:45:27,760 --> 00:45:31,000
is standing in twilight, waiting,
848
00:45:31,040 --> 00:45:34,280
but there's only one unicorn
prancing in that row.
849
00:45:34,320 --> 00:45:37,160
Bam - Dara O Briain takes
the five points. Well done, Dara.
850
00:45:37,200 --> 00:45:39,280
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
851
00:45:41,680 --> 00:45:45,200
Come down, let's see how that's
affected the final scores.
852
00:45:51,280 --> 00:45:53,320
Well, well, well. Exactly.
853
00:45:53,360 --> 00:45:55,560
Yeah. Yeah, I think we've
learnt a lot there.
854
00:45:55,600 --> 00:45:56,680
Oh, God, we have.
855
00:45:56,720 --> 00:45:58,600
Much easier to have a
six-inch paintbrush
856
00:45:58,640 --> 00:45:59,920
than a six foot paintbrush.
857
00:45:59,960 --> 00:46:01,520
Strapped to your head. Yeah. Yeah.
858
00:46:01,560 --> 00:46:03,880
And I guess that's why that's
what size they normally are.
859
00:46:03,920 --> 00:46:06,200
LAUGHTER
860
00:46:06,240 --> 00:46:07,920
Well, it has been a...
861
00:46:07,960 --> 00:46:09,280
..a one-unicorn race.
862
00:46:09,320 --> 00:46:11,720
With 19 points, the winner is
Sarah Millican!
863
00:46:11,760 --> 00:46:14,680
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
864
00:46:14,720 --> 00:46:17,960
Sarah wins!
Please pop up to pocket your post.
865
00:46:20,800 --> 00:46:22,040
Bye, everyone.
866
00:46:22,080 --> 00:46:24,560
Before we go, please cheer one more
time for today's winner,
867
00:46:24,600 --> 00:46:26,320
Sarah Millican!
868
00:46:26,360 --> 00:46:27,400
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
869
00:46:48,480 --> 00:46:51,480
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