Original subtitles

Okay, Moon Rocker!

Tonight, we are welcoming a new couple into our family.

Their pre -enlightenment names were Brenda and Ted, but they will now be

as Sunrise and Male Number 28.

Hi, everyone.

Wait, what?

I met Sunrise in a threesome with David Crosby. And for her recruiting efforts,

Flower here will now be receiving extra carrots with dinner. Male 11!

You will be giving her your carrots.

Thanks, Mill 11.

Just to catch our new members up, this is the moon rock. It is the sacred

meteorite that guides us, creates the laws we live by, and that only I can

to. In terms of living arrangements, Sunrise, you will be joining me and the

other wives in the moon tent. And number 44... 28.

Whatever. You!

will be communing with nature. You will be given a blanket and a stick with

which to fend off badgers.

Yes. Flower. I was just wondering, is the world still going to end next week?

Oh.

Uh... No.

The moon rock is very happy with the situation and as such has called off the

major meteor explosion until sundown on...

February 13th, 2025.

Oh, that's great news.

Well, that's all for tonight. So, wives to the moon tent and husbands, grab your

stick and may the badgers be scarce tonight.

All right, team, I want you to look around. You are the best that the Hudson

Valley has to offer. At this salary level.

Welcome aboard, everyone.

Isaac Higgintoot, management.

Gabe, I know from my days in New York, what this man can do at a prep station

an inspiration.

Oh, right, New York.

Did I used to sell you weed?

I like Gabe.

Great energy.

Cobra, Neil, very excited to work with both of you. I would die for you, chef.

Gotta love Cobra's commitment.

Happy to be here. Quick, you, who's a hot blonde I saw in here earlier?

That's my wife. Not cool, Neil. Moving on, everyone. This is Amanda.

What? What'd I do?

Please don't fire me. Child, don't worry. You were the only one that

the position.

By opening night, this team will be a well -oiled machine.

February 13th, 2025.

That's the day that we make culinary history.

Why did that date sound so familiar?

Yes, Gabe?

Will there be drug tests?

Wasn't planning on it. Seems like maybe there should be.

So, as you know, the opening of Jay's restaurant is tomorrow night. And the

hottest ticket in town is a seat at the ghost table. We're talking Sugar Ray

opening for Limp Bizkit at Webster Hall Hot.

Oh, I love Sugar Ray. I watched him beat the crap out of Roberto Duran in 1980.

I know it's surprising, but I love blood sports.

Since Isaac is busy with the restaurant launch...

I've been put in charge of choosing who will sit at the ghost table.

Now, there are four seats, and obviously Isaac and I will be in two of them. Why

do you get to go? Because I'm Isaac's money manager, by virtue of the fact

I went to Warden and I have the ability to touch buttons on the computer.

Which brings me to the reason that I gathered you all here.

You are the finalists for the two remaining seats, and I am now open for

pitches. Go.

This is preposterous. Hey, it's Trevor pushing his leverage, sure, but that's

what good businessmen do.

Plus, the guy's looking great.

What? I've never been to a restaurant before, okay? I want this. I don't want

toot my own horn, so I'll just throw others under the bus. You really want a

who smells like wolf urine sitting with you? That's a good point. Sorry, Thorne.

That was cutthroat.

But to someone who has cut many throats, full respect.

Well, if Thor's out, then I'm out. I'm out, too. The truth is, with my ghost

power, I'm able to visit a restaurant anytime I like. I've already smelled

like, three times this week.

This is ridiculous.

I am the lady of this house, and as such, I will not grovel for my rightful

place at that table.

Well, then you're out, too. Congratulations, Alberta and Sass. I'll

at opening night.

Sorry, Hattie. You can still come to the opening.

You just have to stand.

I was standing front row at an MMA fight last week. One of their teeth flew

right through my head.

Damn, Pete.

I have a lot of repressed rage.

Cobra, come on. He was supposed to turn that 20 seconds ago.

Flounder is a delicate fish.

And my favorite character from Animal House. Oh, start that sauce, girl. What

are you doing?

It's so frustrating.

I just wish I could, like, ratatouille them. What's ratatouille? It's a movie

where a rat controls a cook. It's good. It's about a restaurant. It's like that

show The Bear, but it's a comedy.

Gabe, there's supposed to be three mini samosas on this plate.

Why don't I drop one?

Oh, I miss the munchies.

Hey, that's not bad.

Still not right.

It's undercooked. It's oversauced.

We open tomorrow and the kitchen staff isn't even ready. Look, I know you're

nervous about the restaurant opening, but everything is going to go great.

Yeah, Gabe clearly enjoyed the samosa. Gabe would probably eat a horse right

now. Is the point that Gabe has a refined palate?

And the lamb looks... Great. Here, let me try it.

Mmm.

This is good. I like it. There's too much going on. You can't even taste the

meat. No, it's meaty. But it could be meatier, right?

Meatier, right?

Meteorite?

Meteorite! That's what the meteorite is telling us.

February 13, 2025.

The day the world is going to end.

February 13th, 2025.

Sam, you and Jay need to get underground right now.

What? The world is going to end tomorrow at sundown. It has been foretold.

What's going on?

Is this a ghost thing?

Exciting. It's Flower. For some reason, she's saying the world is going to end

tomorrow and we need to get underground.

I don't have time to deal with any Flower nonsense right now. The only

I'm worried about tomorrow is Neil's thumb, the russet.

I should be there for Jay's talk with Neil.

Sam, you need to listen to me. Okay, it's not a great time.

She only speaks Spanish when she's very upset.

Flower teaching Thor little.

And not to brag, but she said going no bueno.

Flower, I appreciate that you're trying to help, but Jay is under a lot of

stress right now. He's going to be under a lot of moon rock pretty soon if you

don't heed my warning.

Let's just get through the restaurant opening, and then I promise you'll have

full attention about the end of the world.

But you'll all be dead. Uh -huh, sure. Thank you.

I'm going to save Sam and Jay.

Even if it means stopping this restaurant opening from ever happening.

I'm so happy for you about your restaurant opening. Thank you, Hedy.

But I will be blunt. I am concerned.

About the lack of horse pie on this menu?

Yes, that's a concern I share. I'm just worried that with you situated at the

ghost table in the middle of all the action...

You might accidentally get walked through.

Oh, dear.

And release my noxious curse. That would be terrible.

That could clear the room. But not if you are safely tucked away in some dark

corner. Yes, I suppose, although I'd hate to be so sidelined. True, but one

could argue that from such a perch you might have a better vantage point from

which to view the entire space.

Interesting. I always did like being far from the action in battle, for

strategic purposes.

But that does leave the matter of an empty seat. One that I would be happy to

fill with your blessing.

Then it's settled. You shall take my spot at the ghost table, and I shall

triumphantly lurk in the corner, watching over my success.

Huzzah! Huzzah!

All right!

The world is ending tomorrow.

We've got to stop the restaurant from opening so we can save Sam and Jay. Not

now, Flower. We're discussing the big opening.

I'm going to watch from the sidelines where one can see it all.

Why won't anyone listen?

Hey, guys, I need your help.

Oh, what is it, Flower?

Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news.

Wait, did somebody just say bear?

You did.

Oh, right.

The thing is, I have it on good authority that the world is going to end

tomorrow.

Really? According to the prophet Bruce, there's going to be a massive meteorite

shower destroying all life on the Earth's surface.

You know, it's interesting.

We've been seeing some dark tidings down here. The water heater recently died.

Hey, I'm buying what you're selling. In our experience, life usually does end

with some mass catastrophic event.

Yeah, cholera outbreak, doomsday meteorite, it all checks out. If I could

figure out a way to stop the restaurant opening, we could save Sam and Jay's

lives. Well, we might be able to help with that.

Really? How? Did we ever tell you about our ghost powers?

Excited for the festivities tomorrow?

I am.

And I will be sure to wave at you from the ghost table. Well, it shan't be a

wave, because I'll be just across the table, as I know also sitting there. No,

you were sitting there. But I heard about your little conversation and

Isaac that he'd be lonely in the corner, and now he'd like his good friend Hedy

to join him.

I gave your seat.

To Baxter. Which I heard about and proceeded to convince Baxter that

Isaac's opening would be a stab in the back to his good friend Nigel, whom

left at the altar.

We could go round and round, Lefkowitz.

Whatever. You're not sitting at that table.

Is this because I'm Irish?

Haven't my proud people suffered enough?

What? This has nothing to do with us. Well, then why on earth are you so

determined to exclude... me from this dinner. Fine, if you must know. It's

because I don't like how you ended things between us.

What? You broke up with me? Because I caught you trying to get with Thor.

That's part of a complicated good luck check scenario.

We've been through this.

It doesn't matter. You didn't even have the decency to talk to me about it

first. The point is, you're out and I win.

T -Money.

More like T -New Money.

Yeah, that's right.

That's... quips you won't be getting at that table without me there.

Excellent looking marinade, Cobra.

I love the color on that chicken, Gabe.

I love you, man.

Whatever Gabe took in the bathroom, let's kick it in. Amanda, that is a

consistency.

Hey, what's the deal with that manager chick? Is she seeing anyone?

The deal is she's my sister, and yeah, she's seeing someone.

But is it, like, solid?

It's really a numbers game for Neil.

Your number's zero.

Which is how high you can count, Thor.

I'll count to one, which is number of small, ugly hats on your head.

Oh, the zingers? I feel like I'm at a Dean Martin roast.

So, how you feeling?

Honestly, I don't want to jinx it, but dinner service starts in an hour, and I

think people are actually going to love it. We made it, guys.

This would be more impactful if either of you could hear me.

All right, let's hurry.

After this, we still need to convince Sam and Jay to seek shelter downstairs

with us. You earned the lady time to neutralize the kitchen staff.

Hey, what's happening? Viva la revolucion!

Yeah, I feel good.

Oh. Hey, guys. What are y 'all doing up here?

What the heck just happened?

We're saving Sam and Jay before the world ends.

Turns out the basement ghost power is giving people cholera.

That not good.

They'll be all right tomorrow, but they're going to have a rough night.

This is a disaster, Flower. What the hell did you do? You ruined my

For what it's worth, I'm hearing that the cholera is temporary and it's not

contagious.

Ooh, you hate when that's the good news.

Do we have to, like, call the CDC?

What? No, we can't tell anyone about this. Ask for Gary Thomas.

He'll be discreet. He helped me out back in 84 when there was a dengue fever

outbreak in Laos, and I had to get the Robinsons home from their honeymoon.

Sam, tell Jay he might be upset right now, but he is going to be relieved when

meteors rain down on the Earth and all... life on the surface is

Yeah, these are some dark silver linings. Okay, Vela, let's write up some

of damage control email that doesn't specifically mention cholera and send it

the guest.

Okay, we can use the template I have from when there was an outbreak of worms

the cat cafe.

Cool.

I can't believe you, Flower. You knew how important this night was to Jay.

Please, Sam, we have to get to the basement. The world is ending at

Flower, the sun set almost a half an hour ago.

Really? Yes.

A great wolf skull already chased sun out of sky to begin nightly journey

through underworld.

Sorry to get scientific.

But the world didn't end.

I don't understand. Bruce told us. Wait.

Did the meteorite lie to Bruce?

Oh, she's so close.

You really don't get it.

Bruce lied.

He wasn't a prophet. He was a con man. The cult was a scam.

It was?

How do you not see that? You ruined the restaurant opening for nothing.

I'm such an idiot.

Hey, guys, how's it going?

Oh, wait, I remember.

I'm an idiot and I've ruined everything.

Trevor, may I sit or am I banned from all tables across the property?

Snark yourself out.

You know, I very much enjoyed today's battle of social manipulation.

You are quite the formidable opponent.

Yeah, well, you don't get to be president of your local B 'nai B 'rith

organization chapter without knowing how to play the game.

Okay, it's not exactly the Newport 400.

Look, it's not like I want to get back together or anything. It's just we used

to be friends, and then we were kind of a power couple, and then we were

nothing.

I certainly could have handled things better.

I'm sorry.

Thank you.

You know, I too miss our friendship.

And I agree, we were something of a power couple.

But maybe we can be power friends.

I'm listening.

I'm proposing an alliance.

Instead of jousting with each other, we collude against the other ghost to our

mutual benefit with the ultimate goal of ruling the house.

As power friends.

I like it. Plus, it sounds like a Saturday morning cartoon.

Is that good?

Duh. They rock.

Okay, what the hell? Let's do it.

Power friends.

Power friends.

Now what?

Now we sit and await opportunities to be better than other people.

They'd be in the living room. More foot traffic. Smart.

Hey, Flower.

How are you doing?

You're still talking to me?

Look, I'm very upset about what you did.

You sabotaged the opening of the restaurant in literally the grossest way

possible. But I know you only did it because you care about us. I am so

Sam.

Thank you, Flower.

For once, I thought I was the one that was going to be right, and everyone

thank me for saving the day.

But it turns out I'm just the joke everyone thought I was.

Well, people love joke.

Knock -knock, chicken cross the road, Steve Martin pull arrow through the head

bit, which, yes, it's a little close to home, but I still eat it up. You're not

a joke, Flower.

Yes, you may have been duped by Bruce, and yes, you can be a little naive

sometimes, but it's because you have this beautiful ability to see the best

people. And we love that about you. We all could take a page out of your book.

Bruce promised a better life when things were really hard for me, and I had

nowhere else to turn.

That's what cults do. They...

prey on people who are vulnerable.

That's how I got involved in the whole Amway thing. I died with a garage full

that crap.

I really just wanted to belong. You do belong.

With us.

Yeah, absolutely.

Thanks, guys.

So I guess opening night is canceled?

It looks that way.

Jay can't do an entire dinner service on his own.

Well, can't you, Bela, and Mark pitch in? We don't know the recipes.

Oh.

Did you guys do?

The three of you have been there the whole time, watching in the kitchen

he's been training the staff on the menu. She's right. We know that menu

and out. When to put things in the oven, when to take them out, how to plate

them. Now we just can't interact with the physical world.

But Sam, Bela, and Mark can.

Flower, that's genius.

We can tell Sam what needs to be done, and Sam, you can tell them. It'll be

Ratatouille, but with ghosts.

Ghostatouille. You really think this will work? I do, but... I believe

everything, which we are now framing as one of my great qualities.

Okay, let's give it a shot.

Ghostatooey. Felt worth repeating since it didn't garner much of a response the

first time. It's ratatooey plus ghost.

Sam, is it helpful if you write this down for people?

It needs more coriander.

Bela, that sauce in here needs more coriander.

Oh, these samosas are dead!

Those are done, Mark.

Table six, low on water.

Table six needs more water. Fine. How is she tracking all this? Oh, I don't

know, Mark. She's a woman, and she's good at her job.

I've heard about you.

Not in my kitchen, Mark.

Oh, the things I do to the poor man.

These are some pretty prime seats, huh?

Yeah, not bad.

Excuse me. This table was reserved for myself and Trevor.

Well, there's plenty of room. You're welcome to join us.

You can sit next to me.

Oh, thank you. I'm good.

Basement buddies.

Basement buddies.

Ladies and gentlemen, Chef Jay.

Well,

I hope you're enjoying your first course.

This menu is intended to be a modern take on the foods that I grew up eating.

Because above all else, Mahesh is about family.

You know, in a family, you can have your disagreements.

And to be honest, we had one today.

But then we came together to make tonight happen.

And I'm so grateful to share it with you all.

Great speech.

Thank you, everyone.

Enjoy your meals.

You heard him. Thank you for coming.

Sorry.

That was me.

Well, there's really nothing Sam won't do for us. Back to my corner?

Retreat?

Well, I'm glad you guys are feeling better. I knew it was a rough 24 hours.

Yeah, I looked up the symptoms, and I know this is gonna sound weird, but it

kept coming up.

Cholera. Well, obviously it wasn't an extremely rare and mostly eradicated

infectious disease, because that would be crazy.

How's Jay gonna get out of this one?

Anyway, we looked into it. Had a guy run some labs.

Science stuff.

Turns out it was the romaine lettuce we ate at family meal. He's blaming

lettuce? Haven't America's honest lettuce pickers had enough?

Oh, it was my idea. It came to me because I recently learned there's such

thing called bacteria, which are like little men that live on the leaves and

punch your stomach from the inside.

We still follow laws this fool made.

So we're all agreed it was the romaine and nothing else?

Yes, chef.

Man, these people will believe anything.