Original subtitles

What do you guys think?

Gorgeous. Oh, Sam, the house looks great.

Jay's parents are going to love it.

Thor loved Christmas ever since being inside Sam.

Oh, that's sweet.

I'm just a little nervous.

Sometimes I get this feeling that Jay's mom... Doesn't like you. Thinks you're

annoying? Presents you for dragging your son to the middle of nowhere to run a

floundering business?

Yes, all of that. Think your hair looked dumb? We're not guessing anymore, Thor.

Don't get in your head, Sam. You are a delight. And I'm sure Choppa's crazy

about you. I can't wait to see you either, Mom.

You want to talk to Sam?

Okay, see you when you get here.

I can't feel good about that heading into the visit. Ah, her daytime minutes

running low. Even we know that's not a thing anymore, Jay.

They should be here in a few hours. How are you feeling?

Trying to stay positive.

You know, I had this dream last night that the visit went so well, your mom

added me to the family text thread.

And this is why I go into Jay's dreams.

But I won't get my hopes up.

I know it's just you, Bela, and your parents, the core four.

Totally. That is the name of the text thread. Why did Jay say it like that?

Because Champa added Bela's boyfriend to Eric a couple months ago.

What? Your mom added Eric?

I was waiting for a fun time to break the news. Right before the in -laws

you are nailing the drama.

If you want, I could add you to my D &D thread, but, you know, be cool.

You're right, Thor. Her hair is kind of dumb.

Yes, you get me. Two people, one brain.

That's hard to argue with.

Almost anything smells better than 40 cholera victims huddled in a dank

basement. Jay's preparing a big meal for his parents, and there's a lot riding

on it. His father's a little skeptical about the whole opening a restaurant

idea. Wish I could be here to smell the finished meal, but I will be smelling my

adult daughter instead.

Oh, don't love how that was praised.

I'm spending Christmas with my family for the first time in 40 years.

Because I can leave the property.

That's wonderful, Peter. It's going to be a real Norman Rockwell moment. I'm

going to watch them sing carols and open presents.

Right up! until my wiener starts to disappear. That's my cue to book it back

Woodstone.

Okay, I put some WD -40 on the squeaky doorknob, I changed some light bulbs,

I flipped the seat cushion you bled on when you were playing with your toy

sword. It's not a toy. It's an authentic replica, and the fact that I bled

proves that. Well, I feel good. There is nothing for your mother to criticize.

Nancy, come quick.

There's a problem with the water heater.

I just got off the phone with Mark. He's on vacation in Fiji.

Your contractor lives so much better than you do. Did you tell him we have no

hot water?

Yeah, and somehow it wasn't enough to compel him to abandon his family in

paradise. Jay did ask Mark if he knew anyone else that could come out on

Christmas Eve, but that was meant by the sound of laughter and what I think was

a machete opening a coconut.

Oh, I wish I had a machete. I would use it to cut Stuart's head off.

I'm just standing here. Hey.

We're all saying a lot of things right now.

We're hurting because our friend, the water heater here, is on death's door.

Stay with us, girl.

You can pull through.

We can't host your family without a working water heater. This is a

Perhaps you could just boil water for baths. Basically, all of us did that our

entire lives.

I did that for both my baths. I am. Oh, what if you have his parents stay at a

hotel or something?

This is a hotel.

Yeah, but I mean, like, a good one. Hey, you don't need some fancy pants

outsider coming in here trying to fix our friend. We know more about this

heater than anyone.

And with your ability... to interact with the physical world, we could talk

through how to fix her.

Jay, Nancy's saying she and the other basement ghosts could walk us through

to fix a water heater.

It's worth a shot.

I mean, what other choice do we have?

Mark just charged us for that phone call.

Marceline. Well, that's why he's in Fiji and you're here.

Do you know about all the reindeer?

Yeah, I know about the reindeer, Thor. I don't have anything against Christmas.

It's just not my thing.

I'm Jewish.

You know about Santa?

I'm going to go sit in another room.

Thor not understand.

I tried everything to get Chava to like Christmas.

Not everyone has to like the same thing, Thor.

Unless you're in the cult. Then you have to like wearing purple and eating out

of one big bowl.

All right.

Thor get carried away with love of Christmas.

Yule log, frosty snowman, virgin Mary.

It's very fun and festive all day. Man, that Virgin Mary.

How could anyone have that kind of restraint?

What do you mean?

I mean, like, she never did it.

Well, Thor know people with even more restraint.

Who are you talking about?

Thor not sure he could say.

Thor, we're a couple now, which means we tell each other everything.

Like how I told you about that one time I robbed a bank.

Yes, it's a very special secret. Just between two of us.

Right. So now you tell me your thing.

Thor,

are we a couple or aren't we?

Okay.

If this is something couples really must do, the person Thor's thinking of

is... Sassapis.

Oh. You mean like he never did it when he was alive?

Dale, much sadder than that.

Sasabi says, 500 -year -old virgin.

I know I forget a lot of things, and I really hope this

is one of them.

Yeah.

Okay, you see the thermostatic gas valve?

Nancy's asking if you can see the thermostatic gas valve.

I have no idea what that is.

Oh, fine.

I'll describe it like I'm talking to a steward. Tell Jay to take the cover off

the little square thing next to the blue piece. She says take the cover off the

little square thing next to the blue piece. They turned off the power, right?

mean, what kind of idiot wouldn't?

Oh,

my God!

Sam! Jay!

Oh, you imbecile! Nancy! What kind of directions were those?

Wait. Where's Nancy?

She's gone.

What are you talking about? I'm right here.

Holy heck, I think Nancy possessed Sam.

Wasn't that a pickle?

Where is Peter?

Where are all the ghosts?

Wait a minute.

Oh, golly. Oh, my God. Peter's inside of Jay.

Ladies and gentlemen, and basement ghosts.

We have a double possession.

Why are we clapping?

I don't know. It just feels momentary.

Go.

Thanks, Alberta. You're a good friend.

Hey, we're going to have a lot of fun.

Wait, remind me. Who's inside of who again? Pay attention to her.

You idiot.

Okay, so Nancy's in the good -smelling lady.

Oh, my God. Jay, I think I got possessed by Nancy. I'll stop you right there,

Sam. I'm not your husband. I'm your ghost daddy.

Pete and Pete is inside of Jay.

What? This is a disaster.

His parents are going to be here any second. Well, we've been here before. We

know what the remedy is. You must simply drive across the ghost boundary and

expel these spirits from their host. We need to fix this before Champa and

Mahesh get here. To the mini. Ooh, a little hiccup in your plan there, Sammy.

think we're all forgetting about my ghost power.

Oh, my God, he's right.

Driving across the boundary probably won't eject Pete out of Jay's body.

he can leave the property.

Whoa, wearing shoes feels crazy.

It's like my feet are in tiny footprints.

This is so weird.

In the early stages of a possession, it's somewhat random which soul will

surface and seize control of the body. But the longer it continues, the more

likely it is a ghost will learn how to suppress the host.

Which is why we gotta get Nancy out of Sam right away.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Oh, and there's Samantha's in -laws.

Sam?

I think that's my parents.

So weird how my butt doesn't itch. Oh, this is going to be interesting.

Nancy, I can't believe I'm calling you that. Please just don't do anything

for the next five minutes while we deal with my parents.

Oh, it's in it for me, sweet cheeks.

What do you want?

Guacamole. What?

You heard me. It smells amazing, and I want to stuff some in your wife's mouth

hole. Okay, you get through the next five minutes, you get guacamole, and

we drive through the ghost boundary and get you out of my wife. Deal? Deal.

Tell tales of guacamole upon your return.

So, how was the drive?

Expensive. Our car depreciated $10 ,000 on the way up here. He's upset because

we bought a new car.

The Toyota was fine. It had 150 ,000 miles on it. That's nothing. I put 200

on my Skylark and it still purred like a kitten.

When did you have a Skylark?

Well, I... I, for one, love the new car.

And great choice on the color, Champa. The black is really cool.

I wanted red.

Boy, Champa does not give an inch.

So when do Bela and Eric get here? Bela's coming in a few hours. Eric,

won't be joining us.

Oh, that's a surprise. I guess some people don't prioritize family around

holidays like I do.

Well, actually, he's in India building a school in my childhood village.

An attack brutally repelled, which I recognize from my many successful

I saved a lot of lives after I imperiled them.

Maybe we could put our bags down and freshen up?

Yeah, for sure. One little thing, our water heater just broke, so we don't

any hot water. But don't worry, we're going to replace it.

Like hell you are!

That water heater's been delivering the goods since before you were born, pretty

boy! I mean, I...

I don't have strong feelings about water heaters. I'll be in the kitchen.

Ugh! These shoes!

How do people live like this?

Is she okay?

Uh, she just took some allergy medication, and I think it's kicking in.

to be honest, Mom, it wouldn't kill you to be a little nicer.

What are you talking about?

Oh, Jay's defending Sam.

Come on, Mom. I love you, but you're always subtly criticizing her. And then

added Eric to the family text chain. No, no, no. Eric has a lot of good

qualities. He is an accomplished professional in a stable industry.

I think I know where this is going. A B &B is risky enough.

But a restaurant on top of all that? The B &B is doing really well. You

currently have a book one night, get six free promotion.

And as for the restaurant, I'm cooking the menu for you tonight, and after you

guys try the food, I promise you, you will not be worried.

Why did someone throw away these perfectly good banana peels? They're

Hard to explain that one away.

Bibbit, Jake, bibbit. I'll take you up to your room.

Oh, there we go.

And that was the holiday classic, When Harry Met Sally.

Four -fig movie make good points.

Men and women can never truly be friends.

Hard agree. Sex always ruins friendships, which is why I don't have

friends. Up top, you know it.

I know it, because I've done it 43 times.

This is so sad.

What?

Oh, this talk makes Thor feel very amorous.

Want to leave with Flower right now.

Trevor, Sass, please leave.

Okay, rude.

Hey, I get it. You know, I've been there when you gotta have it.

And then afterwards, when you've just had it, we should give them their

Fowler, what's wrong with you? You must blow it. We need to do something, Thor.

I can't live with this knowledge.

Technically, you're not living with it. I got it. It's Christmas.

So let's get him a gift.

and solve his 500 -year -old problem.

What do you mean?

I mean, let's find someone to help him out.

Okay, but who?

Not this question.

Yeah, we don't want to risk him being rejected or hurt.

We'll need someone who is sure thing.

What do you want me to do?

It's for Christmas.

Okay, so they're going to get Nancy out by driving across the ghost boundary,

but how will they get Pete out of Jay?

They'll have to do it the old -fashioned way. An exorcism.

Doesn't get any more Christmassy than that.

To be fair, though, Pete's been a polite possessor. He's hardly even been a

problem for Jay.

On the other hand... This is incredible.

She's not even using chips. Why can't I look away? Okay, my parents are

upstairs. Now let's get Nancy out of you.

I don't think so.

I want more time.

We had a deal. But there's too many things to try.

Bopsicles, gum, toilet paper.

Sam, are you in there? I need you back, babe. Sam's not home right now. Would

you like to leave a message?

It's as we feared.

They've waited too long, and now Nancy has figured out how to suppress her

No, this is not good.

Hey, guys.

Hi, you two. Jay, your father needs help upstairs with the Wi -Fi. In the

meantime, Samantha, I was thinking it would be nice if we spent some one -on

-one time together.

And I'm free right now. I could make us some chai. I don't think now is a great

time. What are you talking about?

I'd love to.

Mom,

can you give us ten minutes?

Chianti, you asked me to try and this is me trying. Now go help your father.

All right, I guess I'm just going to let this happen.

There's no way this goes well.

And yet it's not going to make things better if we don't stay and watch.

So this chai, is it like guacamole?

Are we watching?

You sure you don't want a fistful, Champa?

No, no, I'm good.

Nancy, this is a huge bonding opportunity for Samantha. You are being

selfish right now, not letting her be in control of the body. To be fair,

Samantha wasn't doing that well with Champa all on her own.

Damn, that's hot.

My throat.

That's why generally people sip it.

Whatever. This body is just a rental.

Well, that's an interesting way of looking at things.

Sort of profound, actually.

Did you just accidentally score some points? That's fortuitous.

Hey, if you're not going to drink your chai. Oh, I'm glad you like it. Mahesh

says I make it too sweet. He's an idiot.

This crap rules.

It does.

And he is sometimes.

Well, I'll tell you one thing. He's lucky to have you.

Talk about keeping it tight.

Okay, that is not something Samantha would say. Talk about pumpkin spice.

Talk about...

Beige. Our girl is dull.

Well, I'm actually in a walking club. It's just me and a couple of other

friends. Is it me or is Chompa actually enjoying herself?

We try to get in 10 ,000 steps a day.

Damn.

Yesterday, I didn't move at all. I just stood in the basement watching the water

heater.

Can I be honest with you?

Normally, you are so uptight and you try so hard. I don't know what it is, but

you seem different.

You seem like...

Just relax and get free.

Oh, my God.

Chomper prefers the basement, Gremlin.

I'm drinking tea with a fine -ass old lady. I got no itchy open sores. And

frankly, I'm just happy to be alive.

Hear, hear.

It's a good reminder to be grateful for the small things in life.

How is this working?

Hey there, slugger. It's your Christmas carol.

Because I'm Carol.

Yeah, that's clever.

Hey, Carol.

Listen, your friends Thor and Flower filled me in on your little situation.

Excuse me? I told them I would think about it, but I don't think it's a good

idea. Would we have fun?

Sure. But the truth is, I don't think you can handle this.

You wouldn't climb Everest the first time you went on a hike.

What are you talking about? I'm saying...

that I think your first time should be with someone special.

Also, I'm married, but it is kind of an open thing. I'm sorry, Carol. I have to

go talk to somebody.

Did you try to get Carol to sleep with me?

Merry Christmas!

Did she do it? How was it?

Nothing happened. Thor, I told you all that in private. This was a secret

between you and me.

Well, don't be mad at Thor. It was my idea to ask Carol to help.

And it's nothing to be ashamed of, Seth.

Just sad and weird.

Why did you tell Flower?

Because she's my girlfriend, and that's what you do with girlfriends.

You tell them things.

Maybe you not know because... Don't you dare. Okay, this is the most messed up

thing you've ever done, Thor. I can't even look at you right now.

Guy really pent up.

Makes sense.

What do you say we go grab lunch together in town, just the two of us?

Uh, no thanks. I don't like to leave the property.

What? Samantha, come back to us. This is surely a stepping stone to a textual

thread invitation.

All your very modest dreams are about to come true, Samantha.

Actually, I would love to go.

Yeah, okay.

And why don't you drive my new car?

I'll go get my purse.

Chopper's saying Sam drive the Audi. She loves that thing more than Baylor.

Miguel, you're taking us off the property.

This is one of my favorite Wednesdays I've ever followed her.

had to end sometime.

Oh, well.

I'll always have guacamole.

Should we take my car to lunch?

Yeah, I think it goes without saying that lunch is off.

Finding the perfect gift at a perfect price feels like... Behind

all the holiday magic

is you.

Max, what makes you, you?

Hi, Bella.

Amy, today's your day.

It hurts to see them passed over.

She's hurt. Or in pain.

But every time you save one...

Or find a home for another.

It makes it all worthwhile.

Every year, the Subaru Share the Love event donates millions of dollars to

charities like the ASPCA.

Good for you, fella.

Get 2 .9 % for 72 months, and Subaru and our retailers will make a minimum $300

donation to charity.

A beard that doesn't itch. Are you using King C. Gillette on that thing? King C.

Gillette? Look, this beard trimmer pole's got 40 length sets.

And this beard oil, one of GQ's best beard conditioners for soft, no -itch

facewear. The best man can get is the King C. Gillette.

Someone need a hug.

Somewhere inside every lost grown -up is the kid they once were.

Seems to me they need us now more than ever. I'm enchanted.

What's in your wallet?

Live, CBS, January 5th. To the bear.

A comedy as funny as an actual bear.

To Timothee Chalamet.

Raise a glass.

Because that's what his bones are made of. The Golden Globe. Live, Sunday,

January 5th on CBS. And streaming on Paramount Plus.

And that is how you perform a home exorcism.

If you like this, please check out my other how -to videos, including DIY

vampire killing and rom -com writing made easy.

Here we go.

You ready, Jay?

Babe, are the restraints really necessary? I'm a willing participant

consenting ghost inside of me. I just want to do it exactly how the video

Agreed. Exorcism fan 666 really seems like she knows what she's talking about.

I can't believe I crashed your mom's car just as I was starting to make headway.

Technically, Nancy was making headway.

Even in these difficult times, we must be precise.

Haven't you said that before?

I've been dead for 130 years. I will repeat myself.

Hey there, Pete here, just back in the driver's seat.

Can I get one last hit of that s'more?

Here you go.

Mama, that's the stuff.

Okay, see you on the other side.

Okay, let's do this.

Evil spirit, sorry, Pete, that's just what it says to say.

Evil spirit, I hereby banish you from the flesh of this mortal. In nomine

et Filii et Spiritus Sancti.

Mmm, Latin.

We learned that to make laws and stuff.

Now, all together, be gone, be gone, be gone.

Be gone, be gone, be gone.

Did it work?

Wait, why is my body still over there?

Oh, my God.

Holy Toledo, I think I'm the only one in here.

Oh, crap.

We expelled the wrong spirit.

Seriously.

What happened?

How am I outside of my body?

Am I dead?

I don't know, Jay.

I wouldn't say dead, but it is an interesting question philosophically.

You're Isaac, and you're Alberta. I recognize you from Todd's back tattoo.

could be Todd. That's what you leave him with.

Oh, my God, you must be Hetty.

We've kind of already met because you possessed me. It is very nice to

meet you.

I customarily ask any new ghost if they're holding cocaine, but I know

only by his sonic.

It's so weird not being able to see the other ghosts.

Are they talking during these long silences?

Man, Jay lives a lonely existence.

Jay Dog, T -Money, while I have you, can I give you my elevator pitch on your

restaurant? Sam keeps not passing it along.

Two words, upscale restaurant.

Like Hooters, but even classier.

Hey, guys, Merry Christmas. Oh, God, should have not. Sorry.

Also, really?

It is the middle of the afternoon, and Mom and Dad are downstairs.

Oh, hey!

It's Jay's sister.

What? What's happening?

Are you two doing drugs? Are there any left? No! Okay, shh, shh, shh. Listen.

This is a lot to explain.

Jay and I, we both got possessed by ghosts. I got mine out, but because Pete

a special power where he can leave the property, we had to do an exorcism. But

instead of Pete's soul being ejected from Jay's body, Jay's soul got ejected

from Jay's body, and here we are. That was actually well summarized.

Sorry to be a bother, but could someone please untie me? It's been 40 years, so

I'm not sure, but I think I need to pee.

Wait, so that's Pete?

In the flesh.

Get it? And where's Jay?

I'm right here.

She can't hear me. This is so frustrating.

Oh, really? We hadn't noticed.

Jay's right there. He's next to you. He's kind of like a ghost, but he's not

dead. We don't think.

Hmm, interesting you went for a clove hitch knot on these bad boys.

Those are usually used to moor a boat.

I just had a brilliant thought.

An exorcism is meant to evict an evil spirit.

Well, perhaps in the absence of a truly evil spirit, it just ejects the left

pure soul. In this case, Jay.

Hmm, interesting.

The ghosts think Pete's soul is so pure that the exorcism spit out Jay.

Not because he's bad, but because he's not Pete.

Feels like a little bit of a dig.

Here you go.

Thank you. Now, if you'll excuse me, this pure baby soul's got to use the

bathroom. Nice to meet you, Bela.

This is so weird.

Don't dare. Won't look.

Ow! Watch my nose, Pete.

No solid choice.

So what are we going to do?

Well... The first thing we're going to do is get you back in your body.

I'm talking to Jay. We can use the possession sconce in the living room to

electrocute the body and get Jay's soul back inside.

And what about getting Pete out of my body? I don't know. One thing at a time.

Bela, I need you to get your parents out of the house while we zap Jay back into

his body. On it.

Um, by the way, is Trevor in here?

You have a boyfriend.

Out of the country, bro.

Doesn't count.

Oh, man, Jay drinks a lot of water.

What? Uh, I mean, I drink a lot of water. Look, Bella wants to go shopping

me and Dad come with us. Oh, I don't think that's such a good idea.

I've come all the way up here. I spent some time with your poor mother. I never

get to see you.

Okay.

I don't know about this.

You sure I should drive?

Bella's car is full of empty water bottles.

We could have taken the Audi.

If your wife hadn't wrapped it around a stone column.

It's just that I haven't done this in a while.

I think I push this button right here and... Holy moly, it worked!

Okay, I'm ready.

Wait, what is Jay doing here? I'm driving.

Ten and two and... Whee!

See? I told you.

There's a new ghost. And he looks just like that guy who's always hanging out

with Sam.

Whoa.

Small man now.

Small ghost.

Orphan. Bring it in, big guy.

Ooh, that wolf urine.

Was used to ward off bears.

You know what doesn't ward off bears?

Patchouli. That's looking sufficiently dangerous. Now we just need Pete.

Can't still be in the bathroom.

Although Jay's body is due for its mid -afternoon evacuation.

That's true.

Why do you people know this?

So stop this.

Hello. How are you doing, best friend?

Can someone please tell Thor that I'm still not talking to him?

Wait, what's Jay doing here? I swear I just saw him driving me off the

Seriously? Peter's absconded with Jay's body. Pete accidentally possessed me,

and then we did an exorcism, but then I got expelled, and it's been a day.

So, Jay, you're going to cook us Christmas Eve dinner tonight?

Yes, to sample the menu for you and Mahesh.

Who I call Dad.

Jay, do you remember your friend Ravi from middle school that was trying to

become a tennis pro?

Well, he recently gave up on the dream and went to engineering school.

What is the point of this, Dad?

It's the inspiring tale of someone making a smart choice.

Oh, the old ball and chain.

Hey, honey, it's me, your husband, Jay.

Where the hell are you? I swear to God, if you don't come back right now, I will

never let you smell anything ever again.

Oh!

Speaker Sam.

We're with our parents.

Oh.

Just a little inside joke.

See you when you're back, sweetie.

Hopefully really soon.

She's so controlling.

I think she's just a little concerned that I left with the body.

Jay and I are going to go look around. We will meet you out front in a few

minutes. Okay.

Get it together, Pete. You're supposed to be Jay, remember?

Come on. I thought I was pulling it off okay.

You drove 10 miles an hour the whole way here, and then you hugged the greeter

outside. I drove cautiously because I haven't driven in 40 years, and Nathan

very appreciative.

Ooh, Jay's still following the girl from the community theater group. He's gonna

get in trouble for that.

Teet, we need to get you back home and get Jay back in your body.

His body. Whatever. Wait.

My daughter Laura just posted something.

Our last Christmas in Philly.

Oh, my God.

What is it?

They're moving.

She got a job in Australia.

They leave tomorrow.

Okay. I can't travel that far.

I disappeared before I ever made it back.

I have to go.

What? No, no, you don't. Tell Sam and Jay I said sorry. I mean, I'm Jay. I'm

sorry. I'm really not looking forward to the turnpike. It's scary.

Did he just leave us here?

I think so.

I bet this is Samantha's fault.

Okay, this is objectively a bad situation, but that door thing is cool

Yes, it's very neat.

I just talked to Bela upstairs.

And apparently Pete ran off. What?

He took our car and Jay's body, and he's driving toward Philly right now to see

his daughter.

How could he do this? That's my body. Geez, you think you know a guy.

Pete's daughter's moving to Australia.

And with the fact that Pete disappears if he's gone from Woodstone for too

he's worried that this is the last chance he'll ever have to see her and

Pete. That adorable little bastard.

Technically true. He was born out of wedlock, taking it with the bastard's

parents. Look, I feel for Pete, but again, it's my body.

What if he gets in a car wreck? What if he stays too long and disappears?

He might not even notice he's disappearing because he's inside a body.

would happen to my body then? I don't know. Maybe it dies. Or maybe it's just

zombie. That would be a fascinating entry in your ghost notes. I don't want

be a zombie.

Nobody wants to be a zombie, but it's just something that may happen.

Jay, I can see where our car is. He must be driving very slowly because he's

only like 30 miles away.

Wait, you can track the car now? Now Jay's realizing all the sonic runs he's

been busted for.

I can hear you now. Oh, damn it. This is really confusing.

Jay, I'm going to go get Pete, and then we're going to get you back inside your

body, and then you'll make a great dinner, and it'll be a great Christmas,

your mom will love me, and I will finally be added to the group thread.

And more importantly, you won't die or become a zombie.

Go save the day, babe. I'll be back.

I'm taking Bella's car.

Hey, Jay, your parents are up in their room talking about you. What? Why are

spying on my folks?

In Trevor's defense, spying on people is 98 % of what we do.

I guess it is kind of a cool opportunity.

The sooner you take the moral low road, the more you'll get to hear.

Either way, we're going.

Okay, I'll meet you up there. I'm gonna go through the door again, though.

It's just I wish he had gone for something like medicine.

That's why we came here, so they could have opportunities that we didn't.

Mahesh, he was cooking even as a small child.

It is his passion.

It's not that I don't think he's talented.

I never said this to him because I don't want to encourage that restaurant

nonsense, but he's the best cook I've ever seen.

Really? What is that supposed to mean? And she made it about her. Nicely

I like this woman.

He learned it from you, of course. I'm just saying he has a gift.

But even with a gift, that business, there's no guarantee.

I just don't want to see him struggle.

Hey, guys, do you want to go grab some food in town?

We'll have to Uber because I think Sam stole my car.

That sounds about right.

Well, that must have felt good to hear, Jay. I know what I need to tell my dad

now to make him understand why I'm opening the restaurant.

I just hope Pete's back with my body soon so I get the chance.

It was a rather rash move for Peter to run off, but you have to consider it

his perspective.

This is a once -in -an -afterlife opportunity.

In your body, he'll actually be able to talk to his daughter and she'll be able

to hear him. Poor Peter has missed the last 40 Christmases with Laura.

And he's never had one with his little illegitimate grandson.

Guess I didn't think about it like that.

I would do anything to spend another Christmas with my family.

No, Pants, I think we gotta send a text.

To the iPad.

Team Monty to the rescue.

He really says that all the time? You have no idea.

Hello,

Pete. Oh, cheese and crackers.

I tracked the car to this rest stop.

Darn it, I had to pee again.

You know, you forget how much time you buy back at the ghost not having to

about all these...

Bodily functions.

We're going home, Pete.

But what about Laura?

And little Pete?

It's too risky. What if something happens to Jay's body or you start to

disappear? Also, it's not my call to make.

Oh, gosh.

I guess you're right.

Hmm. It's from the kitchen iPad.

I get it now. Pete needs to see his family on Christmas.

I can wait a few extra hours.

Your husband is a wonderful man.

A wonderful man with a walnut -sized platter. Quick thought.

Isn't Laura going to think it's weird when we just show up?

You mean because we're her casual acquaintances who just happen to own the

property on which both of her parents met their demise?

Yeah, that's what I mean.

That's what the gift is for.

Cool. Well, let me drive because I want to get there before Tuesday.

Listen, I wanted to talk to you about the whole Thor thing. And I wanted to

you know from the outset that that's what I wanted to talk about in case I

off topic. You can guide me back.

That sounds like a good system.

Please don't be mad at Thor.

I pressured him into telling me your secret.

Now, if I'd had any idea that it was going to be such a bummer of a secret, I

would never have done that.

Look, it's not even about the secret.

I mean, sure, it's a little embarrassing.

You are so brave.

It's more about the fact that he told you.

Thor and I have been best friends for 500 years.

I could still remember the day we met. I just recently died and hadn't seen

another ghost yet.

The big guy learned Lenape from watching us all those years.

Oh, that is so sweet.

I'm happy for you guys.

But him telling you my secret is kind of like him choosing you over me.

That's not your fault, but it hurt.

You know, a threesome would solve a lot of the problems on the table right now,

I'm just saying.

No, thank you. I'm good.

But how?

How are you good?

Sam. Jay.

Laura. What are you doing here?

We were just in the area. We wanted a Christmas cheesesteak. It's this weird

tradition we have.

Anyway, we thought we'd stop by and give you something.

Okay. It's a little weird. Would you like to come in for a couple minutes?

You look amazing, sweetie.

Thank you, husband.

He's talking to me.

We won't stay long.

This is wonderful.

I can't believe I'm talking to you.

Mommy. Who is it? It's Sam and Jay from Woodstone. You met them.

The people who killed Grandma?

It was an accident.

Little Pete.

Hi. Jay, why don't you give her the gift?

Oh, yeah, of course.

Here you go, Laura.

That Trenton rest stop snow globe.

I heard you were moving. I thought it'd be nice for you to have something to

always remember home.

It's funny.

My dad used to always get me snow globes.

Lucky guess.

Sounds like he was a very sweet man. The sweetest.

I miss him every day.

My bet if you were here, he'd tell you how proud of you he is. And the

family you've created.

You done good?

Thank you.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Is he okay?

Yeah, he took some cold medicine earlier.

I guess it's kicking in now.

Oof, zombie Jay.

Little Pete's going to have nightmares.

And I don't think I'm going to sleep well either. Come on, babe. Merry

Christmas.

And then when Jay's body pulled out of the hug, Pete's soul stayed behind,

hugging Laura.

Incredible.

Huey Lewis was right.

The power of love.

Really don't like this look on me. Okay, my parents are upstairs in their room.

We're all clear. Great. Let's get you back in there.

How are you going to convey to this beast that it should touch the light?

what this is for.

We stopped for fries at Sonic.

Come get it, Zombie Jay.

Okay, well, I guess this is goodbye.

Thank you for everything.

The honor was ours, sir. It was wonderful knowing you.

I'm... I hope it is many years until we meet again. But when that sad day does

arrive, please ensure your pockets are stuffed to the brim with high -quality

cocaine.

We'll be here, bro.

Jay, hurry, get behind you.

I'm ready.

He's going for the sonic.

Jay,

are you okay?

Jay? Jay?

No, I'm just kidding. It's me. I'm back, baby.

Got us.

Oh, I hate zombies.

So, Sarpies, we need to speak.

Thor know that since start dating Flower, Thor get very wrapped up in

relationship, but Thor sorry if he neglects you.

Did Flower put you up to this?

Yes, but only because Flower know how important Sass is to Thor.

You're still Thor's best friend, and Thor promise to make time.

Just for sass and Thor.

That's nice of you to say, but... In fact, Thor have idea of what we can do

You still know Lenape?

Thor never forget.

Just choose to speak English to you because Thor more better at that.

Makes sense.

Just to be clear, there is no moose carcass was just doing gesture.

Yeah, I got that.

There is. Flat in Burden Road.

Pretty cool.

I could check it out.

Whew.

Did not miss that wolf urine.

It's good having you back, Virgin.

This one's for Sam. It's from my mom.

Oh.

A robot vacuum. Thank you.

You just seemed like you needed help keeping up. She's not wrong.

Okay.

That looks like all the gifts.

Actually, Dad, I have one more, but it's not here.

Come with me.

Oh, hey, where's my car?

It's at a rest stop in New Jersey.

Cool.

This is my restaurant, Dad. And mine.

despite your consistent refusal to put horse pie on the menu. Oh, that's

disgusting, Isaac. It's just a more muscly cow.

Looks nice, Jay, but we know about this.

And you know my thoughts. But there's something you don't know, which is why

starting this restaurant.

Bring it home, Jay. I know it's a risky endeavor, but that's kind of what the

whole ethos of the menu and the restaurant is.

It's celebrating the risks that make life exciting.

Like you and mom.

You left India. You went halfway around the world.

You didn't know anyone.

You didn't have any money.

You just wanted to make a better life for your family. For us.

This restaurant might not work. There's no guarantee. But I owe it to the legacy

of the man after whom it's named to see if it can succeed.

Welcome to Mahesh.

You named the restaurant after me?

Wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you, Dad.

Merry Christmas.

Thank you, son.

Oh, Jay looks so happy.

You know, Mom, it was Sam's idea to have Jay open a restaurant in the barn.

Hmm.

Nice work, Samantha.

Thank you.

I wanted to call it Champas.

It's just too much. You need to get Nancy back up in there.

Sam is so thirsty and not just for chai.

Really, Mom? On the family thread on Christmas?

And not just for chai?

You added me to the core four?

I'm one of the six of the core four.

Yes.

But be cool.

She will not be cool.

This is so cool, Mom.

I know.

I used to love those when I was your age.

This is just how I pictured it.

Oh, boy.

I think it might be time to go.

Yep, that's my cue to leave.

Merry Christmas, everyone.