Original subtitles

Incredible. Last night he dreamed about making eggs, and now he's making eggs. I

hang out with Jay in his dreams sometimes.

And I flew to Geneva last week. We all have our powers.

Oh, gosh. Didn't see you there, Hattie. Sorry.

Jay, guess what? Somebody wants to rent out the ballroom, and this time it's not

people who want to shoot a porno. I still think you should have let that

out. The script was good. That's incredible. Who wants to rent it out?

Hudson Valley players.

They're the premier community theater organization in all of Ulster County,

recently nominated for a Toby. You mean a Tony?

Oh, similar, but these are just for Hudson Valley, and the winners are

a guy named Toby.

Sounds prestigious.

Anyway, they needed a venue for their fall musical, and all of the good ones

were taken, so they chose us.

They're doing Cole Porter's Anything Go. Oh, new Cole. Had a big thing for me.

Practically obsessed.

Wasn't he, like, famously gay?

You can just let me have that draft.

Wait, Sam, wasn't Anything Goes the musical you were almost in in high

Some people say listening is my real ghost power.

I was tech crew.

Should have been the lead, but, you know, politics.

Oh, yeah, you got robbed, babe.

Okay, that felt obligatory.

And I heard the lighting was the best part of the show that year.

Ugh, so patronizing. This is getting sad.

Is that your contractor?

Yeah. He's one of the Hudson Valley players.

People are still buzzing about his performance in Rent last year.

There's Toby Talk.

Oh, this takes me back.

I miss being around show business.

Or, you know, whatever this is.

Hey, Mark, looking good. Listen, when you're done, I think there's an issue

the walk -in freezer.

If I could just stop you. When I'm in this space...

I'm not a contractor. I'm an artist.

Yeah, for sure. It says that the restaurant opens in a few weeks. Shh.

This is a sacred space.

Okay.

Uh, you guys seeing that talent?

I wouldn't mind if a stage light fell on her, am I right?

Who is she?

Oh, yeah. In the cult, she would have been a top five wife for Bruce, for

Which means she would have gotten carrots with dinner.

Carrots should be for everybody.

Oh, Pete.

Bruce warned us about people like you.

Wow. This is a pretty nice spread.

You think this is impressive?

This is nothing compared to what we had on the set of L &O.

Law and order.

You were on law and order?

Not in the final cut, but yeah.

I was there.

They called it craft services, and it offered every culinary creation under

sun. Hot foods, cold foods, gum.

Oh, this is my husband, Jay. Jay, this is Scott Morgan, two -time Tobey

-nominated director.

And assistant sales manager at Davenport Chevrolet.

Oh, I'm not really in the market. That's what everyone says until they feel the

smooth ride of the new Malibu.

I'm so sorry, Scott.

I have something you need to see. Hamilton used to wear a lot of scarves.

out he was covering up adulterous hickeys.

That man frequented whores.

My friends, attention, please.

It is with a heavy heart I must inform you that our beloved leading lady,

Hanover, is no longer with us.

She was unable to secure time off from her job at Lowe's and is...

Stepping down from her role as Rena Sweeney. You do not need to deliver that

information like that. That is how you milk a moment.

I could take the part. Oh, immediately trying to take advantage of someone

else's misfortune.

I like her. Thank you, Marissa.

But it will be an open competition.

We shall hold auditions for the role of Reno Sweeney Monday.

Jay, I need to print a sign -up sheet.

Please, take me to the business center.

I got a laptop in the kitchen. Then, to the kitchen!

So, tell me, what are you currently driving?

Sam, isn't Reno Sweeney the role you wanted in high school? You should

Me? No, this isn't some rinky -dink production.

This is the Hudson Valley Players. They performed at the mall.

Come on, Sam.

Do you know what I would give for just one more minute back in the spotlight?

This is your dream.

How are you just gonna stand there and let it pass you by?

Look, I appreciate the support, but I'm really not interested.

But, Sam... I said no, okay? Just leave it alone.

I'm just saying, bring that drama to the stage!

Here you go, Chef.

I just want to thank everyone who believed in me. And to my mom, Chumpa, I

everything to you.

Seriously, walk -off music? This is my dream.

Right this way, Mr. Arendaker.

Hold up. Isn't that the lady from the community theater group?

Interesting, Jay.

She just popped into my head.

You can't control a pop.

Hey, I'm Marissa.

Oh, uh, hi.

Sisopis. You look good in a tux.

What is happening?

You heard the music? Walk off, son.

Unless you want me to tell Sam that you didn't thank her. This is so lame.

Again, my dream.

Your hair is amazing.

I'll never once use conditioner.

Yeah, because I died 500 years ago.

You're funny.

Hi.

Hi.

Sam, what happened yesterday with you storming off like that? I just didn't

to audition, that's all. I have a lot going on right now.

Yeah, that's true.

There was that guest last month, and there's the weekly sorting of the mail

Wednesdays, and I'm trying to support you, Sam, but you have the calendar of a

retiree. You know this role, and you're dying to play it. Hell, you would have

played it in high school if it wasn't for politics.

Well, that's not completely true.

I will be singing the song, I Get a Kick.

out of you.

So it wasn't politics.

I mean, some of the puke splashed on the student council president, so that was

sort of political.

I once vomited in James Madison's carrot.

In fairness, we were traversing a bumpy road, and I had just had a pheasant pie.

It was humiliating. After that, I moved to tech crew, and I've been terrified to

get on stage ever since.

Oh, Sam, you can't let one bad performance get in the way of your

Girl, I... I fell into the music pit once at the Red Cat.

Got my head stuck in a tuba. But was I back on stage the next day?

Damn right I was.

Nursing a concussion and drowning in bathtub gin.

They said I gave one hell of a show, but I don't really remember.

But what if I audition and things go just as badly as they did last time? You

just need confidence.

And confidence is all about feeling prepared.

Let me take you under my wing.

Alberta Haynes knows just how to get you there.

You'd really do that for me?

I mean, I'm pretty busy, but I think I can make some time.

Okay, what the heck.

Thanks, Alberta. You're a good friend.

Hey, we're gonna have a lot of fun.

What time is it? It's time to get your ass out of bed.

Your training starts now.

But it's 4 a .m. That'll be 10 more laps.

There's gonna be laps?

Hey, can you keep it down?

I'm trying to enter your husband's dreams.

Sorry. Thank you.

We all have to live here.

Hey, can I ask you guys for advice?

Absolutely. Stay away from the brown acid.

Thank you. But it's more dating related.

Okay. Don't date any members of Fleetwood Mac.

Seth, what's going on? Who are you dating?

Well, you actually know her.

Remember that hot, stretching lady from the theater troupe, Marissa?

Wait, did a light actually fall on her?

Was there any damage to the punim? She's not dead.

Okay, that's gonna sound a little nuts, but... We hung out in Jay's dream.

So you're dating someone in another person's subconscious?

I don't think I've even gone there.

Yeah, this is a little unorthodox.

Well, hey, the guy's got limited options. For ghosts who can't even leave

property. Well... Pete, no.

There's only one problem.

So I went into Jay's dream last night to see her again, but she wasn't there.

It was just Jay trapped in a walk -in freezer with the 86 Mets.

Oh, well, that makes sense, because he was talking to Mark about the freezer,

and then he watched that baseball documentary before bed. Yes, you just

get him to think about Marissa before he goes to sleep. Yeah, just tell Sam to

ask her husband to think about that hot, bendy lady right before bed.

I might not use those exact words.

Probably a good strategy.

Sam, this is going to be the hardest day of your life.

I'm here to break you down and build you back up again.

And why are they here?

We're bored, and we believe in you and stuff.

So, what exactly does this entail? I'm going to train your mind, your body, and

your soul.

There will be moments when you won't want to go on, but go on you will.

By the time I'm through with you, you'll be so prepared, you won't know how to

fail. Get her, Bertie.

I mean, let's go, Sam!

Dancers need perfect posture.

Again. And any actor worth her salt can cry on cue.

I don't see any tears.

This might help. Your mother's dead and your business is a failure.

Still no tears.

It's a good song. Yeah.

Singing is about endurance.

Can I have a water? Of course you can.

And 80 more lamps.

Gave her a little hope and then snatched it away.

Well done.

How's it going with Alberta, babe?

Well, I cried twice, but not when I was supposed to.

Sam, I need you to get Jay to dream about that Marissa girl from the

theater group again tonight.

Jay, did you have a dream about that girl Marissa?

You can't control a pop -in, okay?

Damn it, Seth.

Okay, a couple nights ago, I was hanging out in Jay's dream, and Marissa popped

in. It was very innocent on Jay's part, but Marissa and I, we kind of hit it

off. Aw, weird, but aw.

The problem is, and you'll like this, Jay hasn't dreamed about her since, but

need him to if I'm going to hang out with her again.

Larry Bird popped in last week.

Don't have a thing for him.

Okay, so what's the action item here, Seth?

Okay. I need you to encourage Jay to think about Marissa before he goes to

sleep. Obviously, that doesn't guarantee an appearance, but it's worth a shot.

Okay. Jay, before you go to bed tonight, I want you to think about Marissa so

Saf can hang out with her again.

We're in weird territory here. Yeah.

Back to it, Sam. We got 24 hours till our big audition.

Alberta, I don't know if this is going so well. Sam, as bad as you're feeling

right now and as much as you're hurting, it'll all be worth it when you're up on

that stage. There's nothing in the world like that feeling.

We can get there, Sam.

But I need you to believe in yourself.

Because I believe in you.

Sam, where are all our plates?

You're doing it.

She climbed three stairs.

She's celebrating like she's Ben Franklin after he climbed three stairs.

He was portly.

Alberta's been so amazing, Jay. I actually think I could get this part.

Wouldn't that be incredible?

Huh? Oh, yeah, but that'd be awesome, babe.

Okay, I know I asked you to look at Marissa's Instagram, but Spring Break

It's for Sass.

Why are you all zoomed in?

Well, I wanted to avoid any of her sorority sisters popping in.

For Sass.

Guys, we have a big problem. I just came from the ballroom. I saw Marissa

warming up. Sam's competition for that role.

Wait, she got a voice of an angel. Well, I guess Sam will just have to give it

her best.

That's all you can do? No, it's not all we can do, you peace -loving freak.

We've come too far, and we're too close.

I ain't gonna let this part get away.

It's time for Birdie to play dirty.

Guess who saw his dream girl last night? All right! Awesome, man.

Give it some D.

Ah, we just hung out and talked.

He's got a lot of fun interests.

Very into superheroes.

Oh, that's unexpected.

Yeah, and big Star Wars girl, too, and sneakers. She loves sneakers.

And the New York Knicks.

Oh, boy.

What? Is her favorite restaurant Sonic, and does she love D &D? Yes, on both

counts.

Those are all Jay's interests.

You're not dating Marissa Sads.

You're dating Jay.

No, no, no. It doesn't make a lot of sense. I mean, she exists entirely in

subconscious. Okay, you guys are just jealous because I found someone. If

anything, I'm jealous that you're dating Jay. Did he mention me? I mean, sorry,

did she mention me? I'm not dating Jay.

Okay, Marissa is her own person who has her own cool interest.

How many times did she reference the Shawshank Redemption?

Oh, my God, I'm dating Jay?

Red leather, yellow leather, lavender leather.

Red leather, yellow leather, lavender leather.

What animal makes lavender leather, I wonder?

Hippopotamus dries to a purplish hue.

We had an alderman. Oh, a hippopotaman. That's fun.

Ten minutes, Samantha.

I'll see you in the ballroom. You have one chance to wow me and one chance

Because I have Chevrolets to sell.

You're gonna get that promotion.

I need less from you, Jack.

Great note.

How are you feeling, Sam? Like a star?

I'm ready.

I know my tap routine, my song. I got this.

Awesome. Now, Alberta, when do I walk through Marissa?

What? Oh, Alberta told me to walk through your competition so she'd get

high and mess up. There goes our girl again.

What else did she say? Oh, yeah.

Don't tell Sam.

But you said you believed in me. I do. It's just a little insurance policy.

Yeah, because you didn't think I could do it on my own.

I can't believe this. I thought you were my friend.

In retrospect, perhaps not the best idea to entrust Flower with your secret

mission. Yeah, you really messed up.

Can we talk?

Well, I'm pretty busy setting up snacks for the cast right now, though I'm

probably not even qualified to do that. That's not true.

Although I do think the chips should go closer to the dip.

Is this what you wanted to talk about?

No. I owe you an apology.

I went too far.

And what I realized is I wasn't just trying to help you.

I was also doing this for me.

What does that mean?

I missed the limelight, Sam. When I was alive and I was up there singing.

Well, that's the most alive I've ever felt. And you getting that part, I think

in some small way, was going to make me feel like I was on stage.

And I know I got a little carried away because I just wanted it so bad

for both of us. But that wasn't the way that I wanted to win the part.

I know, Sam, and I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking straight.

And what would make all this even worse is if my actions prevented you from

getting to live your dream.

There you are.

Scott's looking for you.

We don't make Scott wait.

Sam, whatever you do, I think you're a star either way.

It's just so pathetic.

I was so desperate to be with someone, to have a connection, that I got excited

about a figment of Jay's imagination.

You're being too hard on yourself.

This one time I ate too many shrooms and dated a saguaro cactus for like a week.

He was sweet.

Great listener.

It's nice of you guys to try to cheer me up, but let's face it. I'm alone, and

I'm never going to meet anyone new.

You may not be able to find someone, but maybe I can.

Maybe it's time I start to use my power to help others.

For the less fortunate, the housebound.

Even when he's being nice, it's just so smug.

Seth, I will search far and wide, and I will find someone who's not bound to a

property. I mean, there's got to be others out there like me, and I'll bring

back to you. Like some kind of spectral.

Pimp. Matchmaker, maybe, is more what I was thinking.

Wait, really? Pete, you'd do that for me? It would be my honor.

Hey, if you come across any non -housebound dead Dallas Cowboy

could you... Hey, he's looking for me, man. I can't put an order in. Just

if he sees one.

You don't even know what those are.

Selfish.

Last call for Samantha.

Samantha?

Sorry, I'm late. I was... I don't need excuses.

I need excellence.

Give him hell, Sam!

Oh, dear. She's gonna blow.

She stressed out all those Twizzlers earlier.

It's gonna look like a crime scene in here.

Listen to me, Sam.

Forget about all these people watching.

You're just singing to a friend.

In...

Today's a glimpse of stalking was looked on as something shocking, but now God

knows anything goes.

Good authors, too, who once knew better words, now only use four letters.

Billy Gigolo.

That's my wife.

How you doing, bud?

I'm fine.

Although it's a little weird being here in the same room with my ex.

You talking about Maritha or Jay?

I don't know.

And though I'm not a great romancer, I know that you're bound to...

Is Alberta not making it about herself?

Baby steps.

Sam, you really knocked their socks off. Can you sing it again for us? Oh, I'd

love to, Flower, but I'm on vocal rest. We're only halfway through our season.

Of two performances.

Babe, you were incredible.

Sweetie, would you fetch me another hot water with lemon? I need to soothe my

instrument. Alberta, I fear you've created a monster.

She's insufferable.

I'm so proud.