Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,240 --> 00:00:05,678
Oh man, this thing
drives unbelievable.
2
00:00:05,712 --> 00:00:07,315
Got the power, the handling--
3
00:00:07,348 --> 00:00:10,555
woo, this is pure American
engineering right here.
4
00:00:10,588 --> 00:00:11,957
Yeah I don't know, Mark.
5
00:00:12,091 --> 00:00:14,429
Don't you think the
car's a little... wide?
6
00:00:14,462 --> 00:00:16,801
Yeah, the girth is the signature
design feature
7
00:00:16,901 --> 00:00:19,973
of the Dodge Chode. Never felt
so connected to the road.
8
00:00:20,007 --> 00:00:22,077
Yeah, because
you take up all of it.
9
00:00:22,110 --> 00:00:24,215
Come on man!
10
00:00:24,248 --> 00:00:25,985
Ugh. Hate these frickin'
cyclists riding
11
00:00:25,985 --> 00:00:27,355
around like they own the road.
12
00:00:27,388 --> 00:00:29,560
We get it pal, okay.
You're saving a planet. Pfft.
13
00:00:29,660 --> 00:00:33,099
Not everyone wants to drive a
storage unit on wheels, Mark.
14
00:00:33,199 --> 00:00:34,335
Of course they do, Tam.
15
00:00:34,703 --> 00:00:37,609
Driving an unnecessarily huge
car, that's the American dream.
16
00:00:37,709 --> 00:00:39,178
Ya know, in some cultures, it's
17
00:00:39,211 --> 00:00:41,282
considered rude to
take up so much space.
18
00:00:41,382 --> 00:00:42,752
Yeah well, those
places are dumb.
19
00:00:42,786 --> 00:00:45,759
Wow, Mark. So open-minded.
Such a man of the world.
20
00:00:45,859 --> 00:00:47,729
Pfft! What the hell are you
talking about, Tam?
21
00:00:47,762 --> 00:00:51,002
I have been to every single
country in Epcot, twice.
22
00:00:51,136 --> 00:00:53,273
Uh, careful Mark,
uh, the red light's out.
23
00:00:53,306 --> 00:00:55,277
Ah don't worry, Hank, okay.
It's all good.
24
00:00:55,377 --> 00:00:59,820
We are ensconced in a protective
cocoon of thick American steel.
25
00:00:59,920 --> 00:01:02,558
- Boom.
- Oh, my God!
26
00:01:02,925 --> 00:01:05,497
Ah, damnit.
Frickin' cyclists.
27
00:01:07,368 --> 00:01:10,040
♪ Well, I used to work
in hot dog factory ♪
28
00:01:10,107 --> 00:01:12,044
♪ until them
robots came along, ♪
29
00:01:12,111 --> 00:01:13,781
♪ and now there is no
job for me, ♪
30
00:01:13,814 --> 00:01:16,085
♪ but I get three thousand
bucks a month. ♪
31
00:01:16,119 --> 00:01:20,561
♪ Thanks to UBI.
32
00:01:20,595 --> 00:01:23,934
♪ Now we're Universal
Basic Guys. ♪
33
00:01:24,068 --> 00:01:29,178
♪ It may not sound like much,
but we're still gonna try. ♪
34
00:01:29,278 --> 00:01:33,520
♪ We're just Universal
Basic Guys. ♪
35
00:01:38,196 --> 00:01:39,232
Uh, your Honor, if I may, um...
36
00:01:39,332 --> 00:01:42,404
so when a traffic light goes out
the rules of the road
37
00:01:42,505 --> 00:01:44,408
become the rules
of the jungle, okay,
38
00:01:44,408 --> 00:01:47,749
the cars, they're the lions
and a bikes, they're gazelles.
39
00:01:47,849 --> 00:01:49,953
Objection. There are no gazelles
in the jungle.
40
00:01:49,987 --> 00:01:52,425
Overruled. Mr. Hoagies,
where are you going with this?
41
00:01:52,559 --> 00:01:55,932
Yeah, so buses, they're the
elephants and trucks,
42
00:01:55,965 --> 00:01:58,704
they are... they're
the rhinos...
43
00:01:58,738 --> 00:02:01,376
Alright. That's enough. Though
if we were to continue,
44
00:02:01,476 --> 00:02:03,581
let the record reflect that
motorcycles are hyenas.
45
00:02:03,614 --> 00:02:05,618
- I'll allow it.
- Mr. Hoagies, normally you'd be
46
00:02:05,685 --> 00:02:07,455
facing jail time
and a steep fine.
47
00:02:07,488 --> 00:02:09,025
Lucky for you, I'm
a creative judge who
48
00:02:09,058 --> 00:02:11,964
believes in teaching profound
lessons with quirky sentences.
49
00:02:12,064 --> 00:02:13,601
Hence, it's my opinion
that the best way
50
00:02:13,634 --> 00:02:15,337
for you to learn to
share the road with
51
00:02:15,370 --> 00:02:17,742
cyclists is for you
to become one.
52
00:02:17,775 --> 00:02:19,078
What does that mean exactly?
53
00:02:19,112 --> 00:02:21,449
I'm suspending your
license for two weeks.
54
00:02:21,482 --> 00:02:23,554
During that time,
your sole method
55
00:02:23,587 --> 00:02:25,958
of transportation
will be a bicycle.
56
00:02:26,058 --> 00:02:27,227
Oh come on, are you serious!
57
00:02:27,294 --> 00:02:29,766
Might as well just throw me
in front of the firing squad.
58
00:02:29,799 --> 00:02:32,004
Hey, would you shut up?
This sentence is a joke.
59
00:02:32,104 --> 00:02:32,973
You could be going to jail.
60
00:02:33,073 --> 00:02:35,343
No, I don't think you
understand, okay...
61
00:02:35,443 --> 00:02:37,214
Do we have an
attorney-client privilege?
62
00:02:37,314 --> 00:02:38,316
Yeah, of course.
63
00:02:38,450 --> 00:02:39,987
I don't know how to
ride a bike, okay.
64
00:02:40,087 --> 00:02:40,989
Wait, hold on,
65
00:02:41,089 --> 00:02:43,393
you can't ride a bike!
He can't ride a bike!
66
00:02:43,493 --> 00:02:46,232
Uh... of course I know
how to ride a bike.
67
00:02:46,265 --> 00:02:47,803
I just... I don't want to.
68
00:02:47,903 --> 00:02:50,240
Then you won't be going
anywhere. Case adjourned.
69
00:02:50,274 --> 00:02:51,309
Um, excuse me?
70
00:02:51,409 --> 00:02:54,148
Aren't I supposed to be
compensated for my injuries?
71
00:02:54,248 --> 00:02:56,252
You'll be compensated
by watching Mr. Hoagies
72
00:02:56,352 --> 00:02:57,688
learn a valuable lesson.
73
00:02:57,722 --> 00:02:58,724
[dog toy squeak]
74
00:02:58,758 --> 00:03:02,364
Um, I'd like to request
a less quirky judge.
75
00:03:03,667 --> 00:03:08,410
Ugh. Leanne just posted
another sad Instagram.
76
00:03:08,511 --> 00:03:10,982
I think she's depressed about
the divorce.
77
00:03:11,049 --> 00:03:11,951
I should reach out.
78
00:03:12,118 --> 00:03:14,154
Just take her to Atlantic City
to get hammered...
79
00:03:14,254 --> 00:03:15,256
and make bad choices.
80
00:03:15,356 --> 00:03:16,392
Uh no, Mark.
81
00:03:16,593 --> 00:03:18,597
She doesn't need to party,
she needs to heal,
82
00:03:18,697 --> 00:03:21,035
and as a fellow divorcee,
I feel like I got an
83
00:03:21,035 --> 00:03:22,872
obligation to guide
her through this.
84
00:03:22,906 --> 00:03:25,911
Oh come on. Hey hun, uh
you mind picking me up
85
00:03:25,978 --> 00:03:27,882
some more PB Banana Balls?
86
00:03:27,882 --> 00:03:29,085
No, I gotta go to work.
87
00:03:29,118 --> 00:03:30,588
Why don't you just take
Darren's bike.
88
00:03:30,655 --> 00:03:33,895
Uh, because it's an outdated and
inferior mode of transport.
89
00:03:33,928 --> 00:03:37,434
Wow. Y'know, that doesn't sound
like someone who's open-minded.
90
00:03:37,502 --> 00:03:39,004
Yo, would you stop
saying that okay,
91
00:03:39,138 --> 00:03:40,908
my mind is so open,
it's gaping.
92
00:03:41,309 --> 00:03:43,747
Ugh. Disgusting.
93
00:03:45,217 --> 00:03:47,020
Gah, c'mon, stupid... UGH!
94
00:03:47,087 --> 00:03:47,889
Hey, Mark.
95
00:03:48,356 --> 00:03:50,394
Whoa, I don't think I've ever
seen you actually ride a bike.
96
00:03:50,427 --> 00:03:51,530
Pfft, are you serious, Hank?
97
00:03:51,696 --> 00:03:54,302
Okay, I rode a ton before
you were born, okay,
98
00:03:54,402 --> 00:03:56,239
It's just... it's been a while.
99
00:03:56,472 --> 00:03:58,009
Dyah... see you later, Hank.
100
00:03:58,109 --> 00:03:59,245
Whoa, ah...
Dammit!
101
00:03:59,513 --> 00:04:02,652
If you need help, y'know uh,
I'd be happy to teach you.
102
00:04:02,686 --> 00:04:04,154
I know how to ride a bike, okay!
103
00:04:04,254 --> 00:04:06,392
I just gotta get my
muscle memory back.
104
00:04:06,593 --> 00:04:08,798
There we go.
There we go.
105
00:04:08,964 --> 00:04:11,335
Whoa, ah!!
Alright. Fine.
106
00:04:12,438 --> 00:04:13,808
I'm such a mess right now.
107
00:04:13,808 --> 00:04:15,578
Last night I almost
bought a machine gun
108
00:04:15,678 --> 00:04:18,183
online because I thought I
heard a bear in the house.
109
00:04:18,283 --> 00:04:21,155
Ugh, hey, divorce is rough.
I've been there.
110
00:04:21,222 --> 00:04:22,892
Y'know, the best thing
I did was stop
111
00:04:22,992 --> 00:04:25,999
mourning what I lost and
start celebrating what's next.
112
00:04:26,032 --> 00:04:28,838
Surround yourself with people
who love you.
113
00:04:28,904 --> 00:04:30,207
Say yes to new things.
114
00:04:30,274 --> 00:04:31,744
Yes. I love that.
115
00:04:31,844 --> 00:04:34,281
We should totally do a
divorceloratte party!
116
00:04:34,314 --> 00:04:35,183
Wait. What?
117
00:04:35,283 --> 00:04:37,922
You're a genius.
It's exactly what I need.
118
00:04:37,956 --> 00:04:43,032
We'll go to AC, do some tequila
shots make some bad decisions.
119
00:04:43,066 --> 00:04:44,502
Leanne, no, that's not what I--
120
00:04:44,602 --> 00:04:46,940
I'll text you a list of my girls
so you can coordinate.
121
00:04:47,040 --> 00:04:50,213
Oh. Thank you, Tammy.
122
00:04:50,347 --> 00:04:51,817
You're seriously the best ever.
123
00:04:51,917 --> 00:04:54,255
Yeah... Happy to help...
124
00:04:54,723 --> 00:04:57,227
Yo, I'm doing it!
I'm riding a bike!
125
00:04:57,327 --> 00:04:58,296
Yeah. You're doing great!
126
00:04:58,530 --> 00:05:01,369
Oh yeah. You can already feel
my core strength building.
127
00:05:01,469 --> 00:05:03,574
Just gotta dial in my
lactic acid threshold
128
00:05:03,608 --> 00:05:05,578
so I can maintain
peak performance.
129
00:05:05,678 --> 00:05:09,318
Uh... okay, uh... you wanna try
taking the training wheels off?
130
00:05:09,418 --> 00:05:11,122
Uh, they're not training wheels
Hank, okay.
131
00:05:11,222 --> 00:05:15,430
These are high-performance...
traction... stabilizers.
132
00:05:15,632 --> 00:05:18,103
Tammy thinks of not open-minded
to new things?
133
00:05:18,136 --> 00:05:19,673
Well look at me now!
134
00:05:19,773 --> 00:05:23,748
Woah! Ah!
Frickin' automobiles.
135
00:05:24,215 --> 00:05:25,651
Yo. Check it out, Hank.
Bike path.
136
00:05:25,685 --> 00:05:28,089
Uh, but it says
expert riders only.
137
00:05:28,190 --> 00:05:30,361
Cycling isn't about
experience, Hank.
138
00:05:30,394 --> 00:05:31,697
It's about mindset.
139
00:05:31,730 --> 00:05:32,632
Uh-oh.
140
00:05:32,732 --> 00:05:34,603
Just stay calm, I got it.
141
00:05:34,703 --> 00:05:35,538
Ooh.
142
00:05:35,705 --> 00:05:38,276
Okay, just gotta
feather the brakes and uh--
143
00:05:38,377 --> 00:05:40,581
Oh crap!
Whoa!
144
00:05:40,715 --> 00:05:42,250
[crash!]
145
00:05:42,384 --> 00:05:43,386
Yo, you alright?
146
00:05:43,520 --> 00:05:45,457
Uh, I think so.
That was scary.
147
00:05:45,491 --> 00:05:47,227
Nah nah, I was in
complete command.
148
00:05:47,260 --> 00:05:48,262
Whoaaa.
149
00:05:48,363 --> 00:05:50,466
Dude, what the...
150
00:05:54,509 --> 00:05:56,613
Holy maca-frickin-roni.
151
00:05:59,484 --> 00:06:01,590
Yo, this place
is quaint as hell.
152
00:06:01,690 --> 00:06:03,895
It's like if mini-golf
was a town.
153
00:06:03,928 --> 00:06:06,700
Ooh. "Cafe."
That sounds interesting...
154
00:06:06,734 --> 00:06:08,671
Damn dude, this
place is classic.
155
00:06:08,704 --> 00:06:09,940
This might be the
original Panera.
156
00:06:10,040 --> 00:06:12,679
- Hallo und welcome.
Wait, you are new here!
157
00:06:12,745 --> 00:06:15,283
Ah yeah. Mark Hoagies.
This is my brother, Hank.
158
00:06:15,316 --> 00:06:16,418
Nice spot you got here, bud.
159
00:06:16,519 --> 00:06:17,521
Ah, dank je.
160
00:06:17,588 --> 00:06:19,559
I'm Christoffel,
owner of this café.
161
00:06:19,626 --> 00:06:21,963
Gotta say, you know I've lived
in Glantontown my whole life.
162
00:06:21,997 --> 00:06:23,232
I never even knew
this place existed.
163
00:06:23,265 --> 00:06:26,640
Well, we have no motorways here,
so we don't get many visitors.
164
00:06:26,673 --> 00:06:27,776
How did you find us?
165
00:06:28,109 --> 00:06:30,548
Oh, I just rode my bike down
a little trail right there.
166
00:06:30,681 --> 00:06:32,552
Are you crazy?
That is De Krag!
167
00:06:32,652 --> 00:06:35,323
The most challenging descent
in all of Glantontown.
168
00:06:35,423 --> 00:06:38,563
Wow. You must be a
very dedicated cyclist.
169
00:06:38,730 --> 00:06:41,102
Yeah, I mean, you could say I'm
a bit of a cycling fanatic so...
170
00:06:41,135 --> 00:06:43,574
Yeah, he's almost ready to take
off his training whe--
171
00:06:43,740 --> 00:06:45,177
Could I offer you espresso?
172
00:06:45,277 --> 00:06:46,278
Oh nice, dude.
173
00:06:46,780 --> 00:06:49,051
This is like one of those uh,
little European baby coffees.
174
00:06:49,151 --> 00:06:51,856
Hoo! It's a little strong!
175
00:06:52,057 --> 00:06:54,161
So uh... what's the
deal with this place?
176
00:06:54,262 --> 00:06:55,732
Little The Netherlands
was founded by
177
00:06:55,832 --> 00:06:57,635
families of the
original Dutch settlers,
178
00:06:57,669 --> 00:06:59,672
who were frustrated
to see what Glantontown
179
00:06:59,706 --> 00:07:01,677
was becoming:
chain restaurants and
180
00:07:01,710 --> 00:07:04,247
big-box stores,
giant parking lots
181
00:07:04,348 --> 00:07:06,854
filled with obnoxious,
oversized SUV's.
182
00:07:06,987 --> 00:07:09,325
Ah, I'm right there with you
dude, it's ridiculous.
183
00:07:09,358 --> 00:07:11,462
So, we withdrew to
the woods and founded
184
00:07:11,495 --> 00:07:13,634
a slower-paced
European-style community,
185
00:07:13,734 --> 00:07:15,571
built around the
most efficient, civilized
186
00:07:15,671 --> 00:07:18,410
mode of transportation
ever conceived: the bicycle.
187
00:07:18,443 --> 00:07:20,915
Nice dude, yeah, sounds like
my kind of place.
188
00:07:20,948 --> 00:07:21,750
Wonderful!
189
00:07:22,050 --> 00:07:23,987
Would you like a singing tour
of our little town?
190
00:07:24,087 --> 00:07:25,089
Oh yeah, dude. Let's do it!
191
00:07:25,123 --> 00:07:27,662
♪ Let me guide you through
the wonders ♪
192
00:07:27,762 --> 00:07:29,733
♪ of our cycling paradise.
Cute little shops, ♪
193
00:07:29,766 --> 00:07:32,437
♪ fine tulip crops, windmills
are spinning in the sky ♪
194
00:07:32,437 --> 00:07:35,878
♪ Stroopwafels, Appletaarts,
Limburg pie? Here have a slice ♪
195
00:07:35,978 --> 00:07:37,715
♪ Our portions maybe
half the size, ♪
196
00:07:37,749 --> 00:07:39,653
♪ but they still are
twice the price! ♪
197
00:07:39,719 --> 00:07:45,832
♪ Welkom in hets
kleiner Nederlands! ♪
198
00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:52,077
♪ Welcome to Little
The Netherlands! ♪
199
00:07:52,444 --> 00:07:54,381
♪ You don't have
to tip our servers-- ♪
200
00:07:54,381 --> 00:07:56,251
♪ No, they earn a living wage.
201
00:07:56,352 --> 00:07:57,789
♪ But that's also why
you may not ♪
202
00:07:57,889 --> 00:07:59,291
♪ get your check for
several days. ♪
203
00:07:59,425 --> 00:08:02,832
♪ Our taxes pay for healthcare,
so we make it to old age ♪
204
00:08:02,932 --> 00:08:06,239
♪ Then we offer euthanasia and
a lovely painted grave. ♪
205
00:08:06,640 --> 00:08:12,251
♪ Welkom in hets
kleiner Nederlands! ♪
206
00:08:13,019 --> 00:08:19,899
♪ Welcome to Little
The Netherlands! ♪
207
00:08:22,905 --> 00:08:24,909
I gotta say, it's...
it's actually not bad.
208
00:08:25,043 --> 00:08:27,515
Eh... I dunno.
Looks kinda like bait.
209
00:08:27,548 --> 00:08:30,286
Oh no way. Is that one of those
caricature guys?
210
00:08:30,386 --> 00:08:32,057
Oh man.
Those guys are hysterical.
211
00:08:32,290 --> 00:08:35,197
Alright, can you do me as
James Bond riding a snowmobile?
212
00:08:35,297 --> 00:08:36,099
No.
213
00:08:36,366 --> 00:08:38,135
Alright, well, just take it
easy on me, alright.
214
00:08:38,202 --> 00:08:41,309
The guy on the boardwalk went
a little nuts on the unibrow.
215
00:08:41,577 --> 00:08:43,179
Whoa. What's that?
216
00:08:43,446 --> 00:08:45,049
That's Little The
Red Light District.
217
00:08:45,083 --> 00:08:47,421
Oh wow. Hey Mark,
I'm gonna go find
218
00:08:47,421 --> 00:08:49,291
something to fix
that traffic light.
219
00:08:49,325 --> 00:08:50,627
- Sounds good.
220
00:08:52,598 --> 00:08:53,934
- Yoohoo!
- Ooh!
221
00:08:54,168 --> 00:08:55,403
Hallo, handsome.
222
00:08:55,504 --> 00:08:58,611
Oh, hey! You look like someone
who knows how to stop traffic.
223
00:08:58,711 --> 00:09:00,715
Oh, you are quite the charmer.
224
00:09:00,815 --> 00:09:04,155
Are you interested in the
ultimate red light experience?
225
00:09:04,188 --> 00:09:05,490
Oh yeah, that'd be great.
226
00:09:05,591 --> 00:09:07,595
I might uh, also need
some help getting it up.
227
00:09:07,662 --> 00:09:11,468
Oh. Don't worry.
I'll handle that.
228
00:09:12,304 --> 00:09:15,043
Let me tell you, I've been to
basically all the countries.
229
00:09:15,143 --> 00:09:17,716
China, Morocco-- I even
did Norway before
230
00:09:17,849 --> 00:09:19,384
it became the Frozen ride.
231
00:09:19,484 --> 00:09:22,024
But this place might be my
favorite country in the world.
232
00:09:22,057 --> 00:09:23,894
And it's right
here in Glantontown.
233
00:09:23,927 --> 00:09:26,734
You are clearly a man of worldly
sophistication.
234
00:09:26,767 --> 00:09:28,303
You will fit in well here.
235
00:09:28,336 --> 00:09:29,438
'preciate that, bud.
236
00:09:29,539 --> 00:09:31,576
You know, it's nice
to finally be seen
237
00:09:31,610 --> 00:09:33,847
as the cultured,
worldly man that I am.
238
00:09:33,880 --> 00:09:35,718
Hey, dude, is it
possible to add some
239
00:09:35,751 --> 00:09:37,588
Wolverine claws to
my knuckles here?
240
00:09:37,622 --> 00:09:38,857
- Christoffel!.
241
00:09:40,327 --> 00:09:41,597
Who is your friend?
242
00:09:41,964 --> 00:09:45,237
Oh, this is Mark.
He is from outer Glantontown.
243
00:09:45,403 --> 00:09:46,740
Sup, dude?
Like the bib.
244
00:09:46,840 --> 00:09:49,044
Mark, this is Grumpmeester.
245
00:09:49,078 --> 00:09:51,215
He is the town
Dorpsburgemeester.
246
00:09:51,315 --> 00:09:54,522
Oh yeah? You're the uh...
the Dorpsburgemeester?
247
00:09:54,589 --> 00:09:56,191
Ah man.
Love the setup here, man.
248
00:09:56,225 --> 00:09:58,162
This place is classic.
- Yes, it is.
249
00:09:58,195 --> 00:10:00,500
And we intend to
keep it that way.
250
00:10:00,968 --> 00:10:02,337
Man, what's that guy's deal?
251
00:10:02,437 --> 00:10:04,008
Grumpmeester is
very protective of
252
00:10:04,041 --> 00:10:05,745
our traditional
Dutch way of life.
253
00:10:05,778 --> 00:10:08,149
This is why he closed our
only road to town.
254
00:10:08,249 --> 00:10:09,017
Ah shame, man.
255
00:10:09,484 --> 00:10:11,990
I feel like people would get
a real kick outta this place.
256
00:10:12,191 --> 00:10:13,392
Okay. Here you go.
257
00:10:14,328 --> 00:10:15,564
Not bad, eh?
258
00:10:15,931 --> 00:10:17,902
Eh. Could be funnier.
259
00:10:18,002 --> 00:10:19,939
So you're saying we
only get bottomless
260
00:10:20,039 --> 00:10:22,545
mai-tais if we rent a
VIP cabana?
261
00:10:22,579 --> 00:10:24,214
Hey where do we
keep the tiny cups?
262
00:10:24,247 --> 00:10:25,283
Look in the top cabinet.
263
00:10:25,551 --> 00:10:26,385
Got it.
Alright.
264
00:10:26,586 --> 00:10:28,923
Then let's go ahead and
reserve that. Thank you.
265
00:10:29,024 --> 00:10:31,630
Oh c'mon is-- this is literally
the only petite thing in here.
266
00:10:31,663 --> 00:10:33,399
I don't know.
Just use a mug.
267
00:10:33,432 --> 00:10:34,468
Uh yeah, no thanks, okay,
268
00:10:34,569 --> 00:10:36,405
not everything needs to
be supersized.
269
00:10:37,274 --> 00:10:38,510
What'd you do to your hair?
270
00:10:38,544 --> 00:10:40,681
You look like diabetic He-Man.
271
00:10:40,781 --> 00:10:43,052
Ah well, it's quite
popular at the cute
272
00:10:43,086 --> 00:10:45,691
little European
enclave I chanced upon.
273
00:10:45,824 --> 00:10:47,795
Y'know, it's pretty incredible
what you discover
274
00:10:47,829 --> 00:10:49,264
when you're untethered by roads.
275
00:10:49,699 --> 00:10:50,500
Ughhh...
276
00:10:50,801 --> 00:10:53,707
Leanne wants me to make
everyone custom dime bags.
277
00:10:53,807 --> 00:10:55,176
This is a frickin' disaster.
278
00:10:55,209 --> 00:10:57,347
I tried to give Leanne
advice and somehow
279
00:10:57,380 --> 00:10:59,753
I got roped into planning
a two-day bender.
280
00:10:59,853 --> 00:11:01,421
Alright well, clearly
you're stressed.
281
00:11:01,488 --> 00:11:02,859
Maybe you should
take a break and uh,
282
00:11:02,959 --> 00:11:04,094
y'know, get some perspective.
283
00:11:04,128 --> 00:11:07,266
Ah. Yeah. Sure.
Wooderhans?
284
00:11:07,367 --> 00:11:11,475
Yeah, I was thinking somewhere
a little more uh... worldly.
285
00:11:12,110 --> 00:11:14,682
I mean, don't get me wrong,
I got a lot of respect for
286
00:11:14,782 --> 00:11:16,418
Mr. Met, but y'know, the
Phanatic,
287
00:11:16,451 --> 00:11:18,289
man, he's on another level.
288
00:11:18,557 --> 00:11:20,828
Wow, that's so interesting.
289
00:11:21,129 --> 00:11:22,865
Okay, Mr. Hank.
We are out of time.
290
00:11:22,965 --> 00:11:25,369
Oh. But you didn't even show
me the red lights.
291
00:11:25,504 --> 00:11:27,908
Ya if you want to come back
tomorrow, I will be here.
292
00:11:28,008 --> 00:11:29,111
Alright. See you then.
293
00:11:29,211 --> 00:11:31,415
Uh, there is just the
matter of payment?
294
00:11:31,482 --> 00:11:33,620
Payment...?
Did I buy something?
295
00:11:33,787 --> 00:11:36,760
$200 per hour, plus
$600 for the overnight.
296
00:11:36,860 --> 00:11:40,333
That will be $5,425 guilders.
297
00:11:40,466 --> 00:11:41,970
Uh...
298
00:11:42,771 --> 00:11:44,509
Yo, that cheese is legit, right?
299
00:11:44,609 --> 00:11:46,880
I gotta say, this
place is adorable.
300
00:11:46,980 --> 00:11:48,584
I love all the Danish stuff.
301
00:11:48,617 --> 00:11:49,686
Uh, Dutch, Tam, okay.
302
00:11:49,786 --> 00:11:52,992
This is Little The Netherlands,
not Little... Dane-land.
303
00:11:53,126 --> 00:11:54,729
You know, this place would be
304
00:11:54,763 --> 00:11:56,700
perfect for Leanne's
Divorcelorette.
305
00:11:56,733 --> 00:11:58,403
It's exactly the right energy
she needs
306
00:11:58,504 --> 00:11:59,872
to start her healing journey.
307
00:12:00,006 --> 00:12:02,712
Charming, peaceful,
temptation-free...
308
00:12:02,745 --> 00:12:04,047
Yeah... Thing is, y'know,
309
00:12:04,081 --> 00:12:05,751
they're not really
big on tourists.
310
00:12:05,784 --> 00:12:07,622
Uh. Aren't you a tourist?
311
00:12:07,655 --> 00:12:08,958
Actually uh, the
locals have kinda
312
00:12:09,058 --> 00:12:10,060
taken me in as one of their own.
313
00:12:10,160 --> 00:12:13,132
You know, I think they see me
for who I really am:
314
00:12:13,165 --> 00:12:16,271
a refined, open-minded,
man of the world.
315
00:12:16,438 --> 00:12:19,612
Ooh. Look at that guy, Mark.
He's straight out of Shrek.
316
00:12:20,013 --> 00:12:21,650
Maybe uh, chill with the pics.
317
00:12:21,750 --> 00:12:23,554
Oh no way. This is going
on my story.
318
00:12:23,587 --> 00:12:27,461
Oooh. I wanna see if that hat
shop sells bedazzled tulip hats.
319
00:12:27,595 --> 00:12:30,300
Hey, can we get our bill!?
Been waiting forever over here!
320
00:12:30,333 --> 00:12:32,304
Whoa whoa, Tam. Tam.
What are you doing?
321
00:12:32,337 --> 00:12:34,876
What? Nobody's checked
on us in like 30 minutes.
322
00:12:34,909 --> 00:12:36,679
Alright well, in certain
cultures, y'know,
323
00:12:36,780 --> 00:12:38,416
it's considered rude to
be in a rush.
324
00:12:38,517 --> 00:12:39,919
Okay well, in our culture, it's
325
00:12:40,052 --> 00:12:42,057
rude to keep your
customers waiting.
326
00:12:42,090 --> 00:12:44,227
Yoohoo!
Can we get the check over here?!
327
00:12:44,294 --> 00:12:46,799
Alright, you know, maybe this
isn't really your scene.
328
00:12:46,833 --> 00:12:48,102
What's that supposed to mean?
329
00:12:48,102 --> 00:12:49,539
Well, it's just...
you know, you're
330
00:12:49,639 --> 00:12:50,941
being a very American right now.
331
00:12:50,975 --> 00:12:52,612
We're literally "In" America.
332
00:12:52,645 --> 00:12:54,314
Oh man. Typical American.
333
00:12:54,348 --> 00:12:56,819
Thinking the whole world
revolves around you.
334
00:12:57,086 --> 00:12:58,824
You know, I'm impressed,
335
00:12:58,857 --> 00:13:00,861
you've only been riding a
bike for three days
336
00:13:00,961 --> 00:13:02,865
and you're already insufferable!
337
00:13:03,065 --> 00:13:05,269
[sigh] Frickin' Americans.
338
00:13:10,981 --> 00:13:13,118
Oho man, there she goes again!
339
00:13:13,252 --> 00:13:16,458
Frickin' Elske laying the bonk
on Wim Wobble man,
340
00:13:16,559 --> 00:13:17,662
It gets me every time.
341
00:13:17,695 --> 00:13:18,930
You like the poppentheater?
342
00:13:18,963 --> 00:13:20,801
Oh my God dude,
it's hysterical.
343
00:13:20,834 --> 00:13:22,437
Man, Hank would love this.
344
00:13:22,671 --> 00:13:23,841
Wait a minute.
Where's Hank?
345
00:13:23,974 --> 00:13:25,811
Hey Grumps uh,
you seen my brother?
346
00:13:25,944 --> 00:13:28,149
Oh yes.
We put him in prison.
347
00:13:28,182 --> 00:13:29,317
Wait, what!
348
00:13:34,394 --> 00:13:36,198
Hank?
You alright?
349
00:13:36,232 --> 00:13:38,102
Oh man, I wanna go home, Mark.
350
00:13:38,135 --> 00:13:41,008
I hear ya, but I mean honestly,
it doesn't look that bad, dude.
351
00:13:41,008 --> 00:13:42,979
It's like a five-star hotel.
Is that a bidet?
352
00:13:43,079 --> 00:13:45,984
Oh you don't understand, Mark.
They don't have hot dogs.
353
00:13:46,017 --> 00:13:49,424
Just like these uh weird fancy
venison sausages.
354
00:13:49,592 --> 00:13:51,997
And the mustard has seeds.
355
00:13:52,130 --> 00:13:53,867
Oh boy. Alright. Hold tight.
356
00:13:53,967 --> 00:13:55,269
I'm gonna get you
outta here, bud.
357
00:13:55,302 --> 00:13:57,140
Yo, can I just pay whatever
the hell he owes?
358
00:13:57,173 --> 00:14:00,146
Failure to pay a sex worker
is a serious violation here.
359
00:14:00,179 --> 00:14:02,484
Uh... sure, but I just feel
like, y'know
360
00:14:02,518 --> 00:14:04,187
life in prison's a bit much.
361
00:14:04,287 --> 00:14:06,191
I mean, can you at least get
him some hot dogs?
362
00:14:06,291 --> 00:14:07,995
He's already having
withdrawal symptoms.
363
00:14:08,029 --> 00:14:09,699
Well. There is one option that
364
00:14:09,732 --> 00:14:11,736
would grant him
immediate release.
365
00:14:12,003 --> 00:14:13,540
You simply bring
a tulip to the queen.
366
00:14:13,674 --> 00:14:15,811
Ah hell yeah. I knew it was
going to be some weird
367
00:14:15,911 --> 00:14:17,915
little Dutch thing.
Yo, where's she at?
368
00:14:17,948 --> 00:14:20,419
In her castle.
Right over there.
369
00:14:20,486 --> 00:14:24,461
All you need to do is cross
that bridge... on your bike.
370
00:14:24,494 --> 00:14:26,499
Hahahaha!
371
00:14:26,633 --> 00:14:28,636
Oh uh. Gotcha. Yeah...
372
00:14:32,778 --> 00:14:35,015
Ohh-- Is someone
smoking cigarettes?
373
00:14:35,049 --> 00:14:36,520
They're cloves.
374
00:14:36,620 --> 00:14:37,988
Please put that out.
375
00:14:38,022 --> 00:14:39,993
Ughhh. Okay Mom.
376
00:14:40,026 --> 00:14:43,166
Maybe we should focus
on helping Leanne heal.
377
00:14:43,199 --> 00:14:46,104
Totally. Okay Leanne,
the first thing we need
378
00:14:46,204 --> 00:14:48,309
to do is shut down
the sad thoughts.
379
00:14:48,342 --> 00:14:52,785
Best way? Pre-game with shots of
151 and black out immediately.
380
00:14:52,918 --> 00:14:54,388
Ugh love that!
- Oh my God yessss!
381
00:14:54,421 --> 00:14:55,223
You know, Leanne...
382
00:14:55,423 --> 00:14:57,628
there's a free sunrise
breath work meditation
383
00:14:57,662 --> 00:14:59,297
on the beach tomorrow morning.
384
00:14:59,364 --> 00:15:01,402
[silence]
385
00:15:01,503 --> 00:15:03,005
Yeah, totally.
386
00:15:04,174 --> 00:15:09,552
Orrrr... we could get matching
underboob tattooooos!
387
00:15:09,652 --> 00:15:12,056
[cheering]
388
00:15:13,058 --> 00:15:15,597
You know, I think I'm gonna...
gonna walk this one.
389
00:15:15,698 --> 00:15:17,935
Ah-ah. Bikes only.
390
00:15:18,035 --> 00:15:19,806
Shouldn't be a problem for an
391
00:15:19,839 --> 00:15:21,943
experienced bike
rider like yourself.
392
00:15:22,043 --> 00:15:24,582
Ah, yeah... So here's the thing,
you know, my bike's
393
00:15:24,615 --> 00:15:25,717
still in the shop, so...
394
00:15:25,818 --> 00:15:28,489
- Actually, good news--
It is repaired!
395
00:15:28,590 --> 00:15:31,095
The Fietsenmaker was even
nice enough to
396
00:15:31,128 --> 00:15:34,535
re-attach your...
training wheels.
397
00:15:34,569 --> 00:15:36,339
Mark?!
Training wheels?
398
00:15:36,439 --> 00:15:38,711
But... I-- I thought
you were experienced.
399
00:15:38,844 --> 00:15:40,213
Uh, yeah?
I am, okay?
400
00:15:40,246 --> 00:15:42,518
The real ones know
that training wheels
401
00:15:42,552 --> 00:15:45,222
actually make riding
more challenging, okay.
402
00:15:45,256 --> 00:15:46,893
It's like running with weights.
403
00:15:46,993 --> 00:15:49,197
Well then, let's make it easier.
404
00:15:49,999 --> 00:15:51,669
Alright... 'Preciate that, yeah.
405
00:15:51,903 --> 00:15:56,178
Well love to stay in chat, but
I've got a date with the queen.
406
00:15:58,850 --> 00:16:00,654
Alright. You got this.
407
00:16:04,729 --> 00:16:08,169
No whoa whoa whoa-- Ah!
408
00:16:08,202 --> 00:16:10,006
- Oh, embarrassing...
409
00:16:10,106 --> 00:16:13,145
Shots! Shots! Shots! Shots!
Wooooo!
410
00:16:13,179 --> 00:16:15,684
Hey giiirrllls. My drug dealer
just texted,
411
00:16:15,717 --> 00:16:19,023
we get 30% off if we
hide his guns in our room.
412
00:16:19,057 --> 00:16:20,627
Oh my God, yaaaas!
- Wooo!
413
00:16:20,727 --> 00:16:22,564
Okay. Enough!
[screech]
414
00:16:22,698 --> 00:16:25,537
I love you, hun, but I cannot
let you do this to yourself.
415
00:16:25,604 --> 00:16:28,409
What?! This is exactly
what I need right now.
416
00:16:28,544 --> 00:16:31,315
I can assure you this is the
last thing you need right now.
417
00:16:31,448 --> 00:16:34,254
Don't listen to her, Leanne.
You deserve this.
418
00:16:34,287 --> 00:16:36,893
Actually, what she
deserves is friends who
419
00:16:36,993 --> 00:16:39,665
don't enable
self-destructive behavior.
420
00:16:39,765 --> 00:16:41,035
So buckle up, bitches.
421
00:16:41,135 --> 00:16:42,738
We're going on
a healing journey.
422
00:16:42,838 --> 00:16:44,742
[screech]
423
00:16:44,842 --> 00:16:46,479
Tammy!
What the hell are you doing!
424
00:16:46,546 --> 00:16:49,785
You put me in charge, so now
I'm taking charge.
425
00:16:49,852 --> 00:16:51,055
Where are we going?
426
00:16:51,155 --> 00:16:54,360
Somewhere a little more
culturally elevated.
427
00:16:56,298 --> 00:16:57,735
He does not belong here.
428
00:16:57,768 --> 00:17:00,774
Maybe he does not have the
cycling skills he claims,
429
00:17:00,907 --> 00:17:03,846
but he has embraced
our way of life.
430
00:17:03,947 --> 00:17:06,218
He even added an
extra "a" to his name.
431
00:17:06,318 --> 00:17:09,759
No no no no,
It starts with one tourist,
432
00:17:09,792 --> 00:17:13,633
before you know it, your café
will be replaced by a Starbucks,
433
00:17:13,666 --> 00:17:17,373
our shoe-maker, will become
a Foot Locker!
434
00:17:17,473 --> 00:17:21,549
Our queen's castle?
A Ripley's, Believe It or Not!
435
00:17:21,649 --> 00:17:22,818
[gasps]
436
00:17:22,918 --> 00:17:27,093
Alright, listen-- sure, maybe
I don't know how to ride a bike.
437
00:17:27,227 --> 00:17:29,899
and yeah, maybe the only reason
I did was because
438
00:17:29,932 --> 00:17:31,569
it was court-mandated.
439
00:17:31,602 --> 00:17:35,577
but at least I tried to open my
mind to something new.
440
00:17:35,610 --> 00:17:39,251
Maybe you could do the same
about normal American stuff.
441
00:17:39,284 --> 00:17:40,888
I know you all think we're a
bunch of
442
00:17:40,988 --> 00:17:42,591
lazy, wasteful, selfish idiots
443
00:17:42,658 --> 00:17:45,363
who get their news from
Facebook memes.
444
00:17:45,396 --> 00:17:47,467
And yeah, maybe we are.
445
00:17:47,500 --> 00:17:50,006
But that doesn't mean we don't
have some good things too.
446
00:17:50,073 --> 00:17:52,176
Riding a bike, it's great, but
447
00:17:52,210 --> 00:17:54,080
sometimes it's nice to
just park your
448
00:17:54,181 --> 00:17:56,519
big-ass car in a big-ass
parking a lot
449
00:17:56,619 --> 00:17:59,057
of some big-ass department
store where you buy a bunch
450
00:17:59,091 --> 00:18:01,094
of random crap made in China.
451
00:18:01,128 --> 00:18:02,632
I mean what's
the point of being all
452
00:18:02,632 --> 00:18:04,736
"cultured" if you're just
gonna be smug and
453
00:18:04,769 --> 00:18:06,639
elitist about it?
Because in the end, isn't
454
00:18:06,739 --> 00:18:08,543
that what being open-mind
is all about.
455
00:18:08,543 --> 00:18:12,216
Taking the best things
from all cultures.
456
00:18:13,251 --> 00:18:17,026
Well, that was... enlightening.
457
00:18:17,059 --> 00:18:19,632
I think our American
friend made a really
458
00:18:19,665 --> 00:18:22,805
compelling case... for
why we do not allow--
459
00:18:22,871 --> 00:18:24,440
- Watch out!
460
00:18:25,710 --> 00:18:27,413
... tourists!
461
00:18:27,915 --> 00:18:31,523
Oh my God,
this place is redonk.
462
00:18:31,556 --> 00:18:33,793
Is this where they shot
Beauty and the Beast?
463
00:18:33,893 --> 00:18:35,029
I know!
464
00:18:35,096 --> 00:18:37,901
Like I'm literally Emily
in Paris right now.
465
00:18:38,002 --> 00:18:40,673
Oh my God are those
tanning booths?
466
00:18:40,774 --> 00:18:42,644
Where are we even?
467
00:18:42,745 --> 00:18:44,648
Little Danishland.
468
00:18:44,749 --> 00:18:46,418
No. Frickin'. Way.
469
00:18:46,552 --> 00:18:48,422
Okay, Leanne.
I'm telling you.
470
00:18:48,456 --> 00:18:52,196
This is the perfect place to
recenter and find inner peace...
471
00:18:52,665 --> 00:18:53,933
Leanne?
472
00:18:57,874 --> 00:19:00,580
I've got the milk from the well!
473
00:19:01,181 --> 00:19:03,018
Eh, screw it.
474
00:19:03,051 --> 00:19:06,024
Guards!
Deport these heathens!
475
00:19:06,058 --> 00:19:08,395
Yes, Grumpmeester!
476
00:19:12,270 --> 00:19:13,472
Mark?
You came back?
477
00:19:13,607 --> 00:19:16,613
Of course I did.
Wooden shoe?
478
00:19:16,679 --> 00:19:18,248
[crash]
479
00:19:18,917 --> 00:19:20,085
Hell yeah!
480
00:19:20,620 --> 00:19:24,027
Someone get a pic of me
on this giant fan!
481
00:19:24,194 --> 00:19:27,066
Guards!
Stop this madness!
482
00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:29,170
Ugh!
Someone do something!
483
00:19:29,237 --> 00:19:31,041
You know, maybe
you should be more
484
00:19:31,075 --> 00:19:33,312
open-minded about
this tourist thing.
485
00:19:33,346 --> 00:19:35,884
I mean, they do spend
a lot of money.
486
00:19:37,120 --> 00:19:38,255
Thanks!
487
00:19:38,355 --> 00:19:39,926
Oop!
I need another one.
488
00:19:39,959 --> 00:19:42,129
Oh my God.
489
00:19:42,230 --> 00:19:43,633
Are you like an
artist or something?
490
00:19:43,767 --> 00:19:46,739
I would literally give you
a thousand dollars for that.
491
00:19:46,772 --> 00:19:50,948
So... they just spend money
but they do not stay.
492
00:19:50,981 --> 00:19:54,221
Exactly. And you know, with
this revenue we could
493
00:19:54,254 --> 00:19:56,291
finally add a spa to the
prison gym.
494
00:19:57,728 --> 00:19:59,230
Uh-- Can I help you?
495
00:19:59,665 --> 00:20:02,236
You look like an
albino mushroom.
496
00:20:02,805 --> 00:20:04,274
... Okay?
497
00:20:04,575 --> 00:20:06,411
it's so hot.
498
00:20:09,619 --> 00:20:12,090
So uh... what happened to
Atlantic City?
499
00:20:12,223 --> 00:20:15,830
I decided to take Leanne
somewhere more cultured.
500
00:20:15,930 --> 00:20:17,634
You know, so she wouldn't do
501
00:20:17,667 --> 00:20:20,607
anything...
self-destructive.
502
00:20:21,308 --> 00:20:23,245
I guess you can
lead a horse to water,
503
00:20:23,312 --> 00:20:25,517
but you can't make it
not do tequila shots.
504
00:20:25,617 --> 00:20:27,186
Well, I'm glad you showed up.
505
00:20:27,286 --> 00:20:29,290
Turns out, this isn't
really my scene.
506
00:20:29,290 --> 00:20:30,159
Oh, really?
507
00:20:30,259 --> 00:20:32,263
Yeah. Y'know, travel
really opens your eyes
508
00:20:32,296 --> 00:20:35,303
to just how closed-minded
every culture is.
509
00:20:35,403 --> 00:20:39,477
Hey guys? I think Ashley just
died in the tanning bed.
510
00:20:44,287 --> 00:20:46,959
Wow. So many options!
511
00:20:47,260 --> 00:20:49,264
My mind, it spins.
512
00:20:49,397 --> 00:20:52,436
I can't believe you've never
been to a Wowo's. Haha.
513
00:20:52,470 --> 00:20:54,274
Well, I have spent my whole life
514
00:20:54,307 --> 00:20:56,211
thinking I had
everything I needed.
515
00:20:56,244 --> 00:21:00,620
Turns out, I was just too scared
to see what else is out there.
516
00:21:01,454 --> 00:21:03,292
I am going to try
one of these "hoagies."
517
00:21:03,326 --> 00:21:04,628
Sounds good, babe.
518
00:21:04,728 --> 00:21:05,730
Leanne?
519
00:21:06,198 --> 00:21:07,366
Steve?
520
00:21:07,467 --> 00:21:08,769
Who's the pilgrim?
521
00:21:09,539 --> 00:21:11,408
His name is Grumpmeester.
522
00:21:11,441 --> 00:21:15,015
Grumpmeester?
The hell kind of name is that?
523
00:21:15,048 --> 00:21:16,085
He's Dutch.
524
00:21:16,151 --> 00:21:17,286
Yeah alright, alright.
525
00:21:17,320 --> 00:21:18,589
Anyway, I gotta get outta here.
526
00:21:18,689 --> 00:21:20,760
I'm meeting up with some chick
from Tinder for a little
527
00:21:20,860 --> 00:21:23,032
"Hulu and Chill."
- Have fun with that.
528
00:21:23,165 --> 00:21:25,035
- Who was that guy?
- Nobody.
529
00:21:25,435 --> 00:21:26,806
You want an Italian shortie?
530
00:21:26,839 --> 00:21:27,941
No.
531
00:21:28,676 --> 00:21:30,045
No, I don't.
40407
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof