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Kia ora. My name is Toby Buchanan, and
you're listening to Small Town Scandal,
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00:00:11,230 --> 00:00:15,749
true crime podcast where I try and solve
the mystery of who killed my Uncle
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Mitch. This is Episode 4.
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00:00:20,010 --> 00:00:24,209
My hunt for my Uncle Mitch's killer had
taught me a lot about my hometown of
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00:00:24,210 --> 00:00:29,009
Tohoiho. Specifically that there was an
underground swingers collective that was
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also at the heart of the local ketamine
ring. Uncle Mitch's second wife, Aunty
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Janine, was occupied by another lover at
the time of his death.
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But that raises the question, what about
his first wife?
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00:00:42,890 --> 00:00:45,810
Aunty Andrea certainly is a woman
scorned.
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00:00:46,290 --> 00:00:48,770
Could she be suspect numero uno?
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00:00:49,580 --> 00:00:56,279
But before we delve into all of that, it
was time to say goodbye to Uncle
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Mitch.
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I'm seated at Uncle Mitch's funeral.
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It's a veritable who's who of Tohoi Ho.
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But looking around, the faces aren't
necessarily upset.
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I'd say they're more curious.
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The star of the show has arrived.
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I hadn't seen Auntie Andrea in a couple
of years.
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She clearly had a major makeover. Her
short shag haircut really suited her.
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cosmetic surgeries were also quite
subtle.
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How's that restraining order going now?
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You loathsome bastard! No!
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I hope you rot in hell, bitch Buchanan!
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Mum.
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Hi,
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Toby. Dwayne McKay?
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Hi.
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Hi, Toby.
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Dwayne McKeith?
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Oh, fancy seeing you two here.
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Dwayne McKeith and I used to be best
friends at school.
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He used to consume a lot of PVA glue.
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That was until I sneakily ditched him by
running away from him at lunchtime.
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He was really weird.
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His family was also really weird,
especially his brother.
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This is our church.
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We didn't realise people would be here.
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Yeah, it's my Uncle Mitch's funeral.
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Hey, do you guys want to sit together?
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This is okay.
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Okay.
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I like your suit.
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Oh, yeah. It was the last one at the
Suit Horridge place. That was a bit ill
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-fitting.
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How have you been, Toby?
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Oh, yeah, not bad.
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We haven't seen you for ages.
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Yeah.
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Well, how have you guys been?
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We've been doing a lot of praying
lately.
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Really? There's a lot of evil in the
world.
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Please stand for the hymn of sacred
remembrance.
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to see you all here today to celebrate
what a kind,
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gentle, giving man he was.
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To say a few words about the darling
father, Mitchell's children.
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My cousins, Sophia and Conan, were sent
to a boarding school famous for tuning
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out CEOs.
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I always wondered if that put a strain
on their family, though.
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Our father, Mitch Buchanan, has been
described as a pioneer of the lawn
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engineering community.
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The meteoric success of the Buchananiser
meant that work always came first for
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our dad.
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Hard work to our father.
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To us, it's the only important thing
there is.
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Nothing else matters.
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And indeed, that's the greatest lesson
that he left us.
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Well, at least he left you something.
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Oh, Mum!
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Oh! Aunty Andrea's guilt and motive were
practically pouring off her.
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It was time to turn on the charm and get
a recorded confession for my podcast.
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I don't think you're allowed to smoke in
here.
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Oh, Ian, who's going to stop me?
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Oh, God.
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Okay.
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Oh, Mr West, nice little extra wave.
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What a suit.
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Why's it blue?
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It was the only suit available at the
suit high -rage store.
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Anyway, um, Auntie Andrea, I'm so sorry
for your loss.
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No skin off my nose. Well, skin off my
nose, to be honest.
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And I am not talking about my last trip
to Turkey.
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Just between you and I, Tobias, I was
talking to a lawyer about going at him
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again for half the mowing business.
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It was all settled.
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Now it's too late.
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I'm going to fall into the pockets of
that cow face.
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Wait.
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You were planning on suing Uncle Match.
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No, it was just a pipe dream, Toby.
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It was all right.
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And when I heard he died, well, I took a
gold club to my precious porcelain
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corgi.
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The piglets will be happy, though.
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They came over here asking for money and
he wasn't going to give it.
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Wait, the twins were here before he
died.
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I know.
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Rumour has it they were asking him to
invest in a little tech company and he's
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an uncle.
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And apparently it's gone dead, sir.
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I mean, they try and kick me out of the
loop, but a mother knows.
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00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:08,519
Toby, you sure you don't want a
cigarette because it does suppress your
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appetite?
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OK, yeah.
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You're right.
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With Aunty Andrea all but cleared, I'd
set my sights on Uncle Mitch's twins,
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were conveniently in town when he died.
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Well, well, well.
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It isn't Tubby Tobes.
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Fancy seeing you here.
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Nah, I'm just joking. Of course you'd be
here.
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You're the bloody nephew after all.
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Sorry, Mel. I'm just going to go. Hey,
just before you run off, mate, I just
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want to check something.
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I was talking to Katie. She said she saw
you down at the mowing store.
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Acting all sneaky.
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Asking questions and stuff.
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She said something about a podcast.
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Is that right?
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What's the one about? Oh, men's mental
health.
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Katie told you about that. Yeah, don't
worry about the Katie of it all.
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Is it true you're doing a podcast about
your uncle's heart attack?
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00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:03,700
No, it's not about his heart attack.
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Ah.
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Keep Sergeant Brown since you were
sniffing around your auntie Janine.
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Then she could have murdered him.
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No, I don't think it's her.
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No.
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Because it wasn't anybody.
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Because your uncle wasn't murdered.
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Yeah.
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Sure.
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Look, I'm just trying to look out for
you, big fella.
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I don't want you to have another one of
your... What was it?
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Pet food scandal.
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Sounds like your career was rinsed.
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Anyway, I'll leave you to it, eh?
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Katie, let's chat.
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Oh, hey.
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Sophia Conan.
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Hi, cousin. I was coming over to see you
guys.
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We're just shooting, sir.
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00:09:01,161 --> 00:09:03,179
Are you going back to Hong Kong already?
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00:09:03,180 --> 00:09:07,399
Oh, my gosh, Tobias, no. We're not going
back to Hong Kong right now. We're
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going to the mansion.
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We're going to give Dad our own little
send -off.
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Oh, awesome.
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Can I come along?
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With their mum letting slip about their
financial woes, could I be looking at
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two murderers?
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So how long are you guys in town for?
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11 days.
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Oh, cool.
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It was a lovely service, wasn't it?
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Your dad would have loved that service.
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It's actually great that you guys were
actually here in town.
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Because at the time I was like, oh my
God, he died.
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His kids aren't in town. It's going to
be so sad. Because I know you guys are
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really busy over in Honkers.
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Then I found out that you guys were
actually in town when it happened.
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Yeah. What were you doing when he
passed?
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I was on a call with London.
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I actually just got a call when I heard
from Janine.
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Ah.
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00:10:13,180 --> 00:10:14,560
And what about you, Sophia?
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00:10:17,020 --> 00:10:18,160
Well, I was with Conan.
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00:10:20,760 --> 00:10:23,770
And have you guys been staying at... The
mansion with your dad?
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00:10:24,440 --> 00:10:25,940
No, we were staying at a hotel.
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00:10:25,941 --> 00:10:31,299
Why weren't you staying at the mansion?
I mean, it's not like there's not plenty
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of bedrooms.
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Because the hotel was more convenient.
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Huh.
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Just got to grab something for the send
-off.
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I'll just be a minute.
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00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:51,380
Yeah, no worries.
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If Conan was telling the truth, there
should be a record of a phone call at
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time of the murder.
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And I found it.
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Buckingham Tech Solutions, bracket
London.
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And Aunty Janine called him straight
after.
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00:11:14,170 --> 00:11:18,569
So that probably meant Conan didn't kill
Uncle Mitch unless he was great at
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multitasking. So let's assume he didn't
kill Uncle Mitch. But what about her?
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There's nothing to say Sophia wasn't
here at her childhood home.
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brutally killing her father for the
inheritance.
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It's mine.
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00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:53,420
How did it end up up here?
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00:11:55,080 --> 00:11:56,640
Oh, it must have fallen out.
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Just checking that water to see if it
was faux or real.
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00:12:00,940 --> 00:12:03,060
Shit, I'm an idiot.
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00:12:03,880 --> 00:12:05,260
Won't be a thing. Yeah, yeah.
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00:12:37,040 --> 00:12:38,440
Let's go piss off the posse.
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00:12:40,900 --> 00:12:43,720
Look, surely there's a better way of
doing this.
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00:12:43,960 --> 00:12:46,300
I said... Ah,
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okay.
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00:12:54,640 --> 00:12:56,640
Can you aim it a bit higher, Tobias?
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Sorry.
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00:13:07,240 --> 00:13:10,800
Hey, so, um... What's it like?
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It's on.
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00:13:12,760 --> 00:13:13,860
Dad, that is.
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00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:15,400
Paul! Uh,
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00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:21,320
it was pretty hard, to be honest.
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00:13:23,740 --> 00:13:25,480
You don't want the details, right?
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00:13:25,540 --> 00:13:27,240
We're not kids, Tobias.
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00:13:27,660 --> 00:13:28,710
Paul!
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00:13:30,580 --> 00:13:34,200
Well, it's kind of quite horrific,
actually.
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00:13:34,840 --> 00:13:38,959
When I got there, he'd bled all over the
lawn and there were little bits of him
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00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:41,799
that the mower had kind of shaved off
and they were picking them up and
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00:13:41,800 --> 00:13:42,850
it into a bucket.
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00:13:42,940 --> 00:13:44,000
Oh, my God.
209
00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:51,219
Oh, we should have been there for him.
We should have been there for him.
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00:13:51,220 --> 00:13:52,159
wrong with you?
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00:13:52,160 --> 00:13:53,960
Why'd you have to make my sister cry?
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00:13:54,260 --> 00:13:57,260
I know he's an arsehole, but he was our
father.
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00:13:57,520 --> 00:13:58,780
Yeah, he was our arsehole.
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00:13:59,020 --> 00:14:03,480
Well, you asked what it was like. I
meant emotionally, Tobias, not...
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00:14:04,050 --> 00:14:09,010
Physically. Hold the bow.
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00:14:09,011 --> 00:14:10,189
That one's for Dad.
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00:14:10,190 --> 00:14:11,240
Okay.
218
00:14:14,650 --> 00:14:15,700
Oh.
219
00:14:16,470 --> 00:14:17,520
Sorry.
220
00:14:23,470 --> 00:14:24,520
Sorry, Sophia.
221
00:14:24,790 --> 00:14:27,090
Why don't you go fish that?
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00:14:30,330 --> 00:14:31,380
Are you sure?
223
00:14:31,530 --> 00:14:32,580
Brick it up!
224
00:15:00,010 --> 00:15:02,350
Sorry, there was just a rabbit behind
you.
225
00:15:03,250 --> 00:15:06,650
Hey, Tobias, did you piss yourself?
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00:15:15,290 --> 00:15:16,530
He did.
227
00:15:19,070 --> 00:15:20,120
No, I did.
228
00:15:22,790 --> 00:15:24,830
You'd still be a pov -o, cousin.
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00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:30,890
Sure, my cousins were walking red flags
with a history of recreational cruelty,
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00:15:31,120 --> 00:15:35,800
but Sophia's reaction to her dad dying
actually seemed genuine.
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00:15:39,540 --> 00:15:40,660
What the heck?
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00:15:40,880 --> 00:15:41,930
Katie?
233
00:15:43,380 --> 00:15:44,430
Toby!
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00:15:45,900 --> 00:15:47,180
What are you doing here?
235
00:15:48,620 --> 00:15:50,180
I'm not... Sorry?
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00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:52,220
Yeah, why are you at the mansion?
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00:15:52,700 --> 00:15:54,560
Here? Yeah. At the mansion?
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00:15:57,200 --> 00:16:04,059
Because I was like, well... And then I
thought, oh... Your Auntie
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00:16:04,060 --> 00:16:09,459
Janine is, like, so wrapped up with all
the funeral business and I just thought
240
00:16:09,460 --> 00:16:12,220
that I should come here and I'll walk
the horse.
241
00:16:12,820 --> 00:16:13,870
Petal?
242
00:16:14,620 --> 00:16:15,780
Petal. Yeah.
243
00:16:16,180 --> 00:16:17,480
That's so kind of you.
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00:16:18,900 --> 00:16:21,820
Did you know that Petal was actually my
childhood horse?
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00:16:22,380 --> 00:16:23,430
Dot.
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00:16:24,120 --> 00:16:28,009
If you give me, like, five minutes... I
can come with you. I just need to clean
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00:16:28,010 --> 00:16:30,530
up this, um, this lemonade.
248
00:16:30,750 --> 00:16:32,610
Uh, well, that's not actually too bad.
249
00:16:33,210 --> 00:16:34,260
I'll come with you.
250
00:16:35,050 --> 00:16:36,750
Oh, no, maybe I won't.
251
00:16:37,030 --> 00:16:38,470
I'm just here with my cousins.
252
00:16:38,610 --> 00:16:42,589
I haven't seen them in, like, I should
probably, um... What did they...
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00:16:42,590 --> 00:16:49,469
They must have, um... Maybe they forgot
I was
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00:16:49,470 --> 00:16:50,520
here.
255
00:16:50,990 --> 00:16:53,950
Anyway, I'm free now to come with you
and walk Petal.
256
00:16:54,620 --> 00:16:56,240
I'll show you where the reins are.
257
00:16:56,780 --> 00:16:59,250
Come on, we didn't get a chance to talk
at the wake.
258
00:16:59,360 --> 00:17:00,410
Come around.
259
00:17:01,460 --> 00:17:02,540
Are you going to come?
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00:17:02,820 --> 00:17:03,870
Yeah.
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00:17:06,160 --> 00:17:08,640
Come on, Petal, darling. She is very
cute.
262
00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:16,559
Actually, Uncle Mitch got her for me
when Dad went to prison, so... Sweet of
263
00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:17,640
him. Yeah.
264
00:17:21,099 --> 00:17:23,629
Hey, Matt says you're stopping doing the
podcast.
265
00:17:24,020 --> 00:17:25,070
Uh, yeah.
266
00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:27,119
Aw, that's a shame.
267
00:17:27,120 --> 00:17:32,219
I mean, you're just such a good writer.
I'm sure you'll find your next big scoop
268
00:17:32,220 --> 00:17:33,270
sometime soon.
269
00:17:33,271 --> 00:17:36,919
Katie Jerram, what are you talking
about? You've never read anything I've
270
00:17:36,920 --> 00:17:40,680
written. Um, Sydney Council Water
Mismanagement 2017.
271
00:17:41,380 --> 00:17:43,120
That was your first big story in Oz.
272
00:17:43,460 --> 00:17:46,020
Oh, come on. The whole town was talking
about it.
273
00:17:47,380 --> 00:17:50,940
I mean, yeah, I get. I mean, that one
took me months.
274
00:17:51,210 --> 00:17:54,400
But I did really luck out with the
people I managed to interview.
275
00:17:54,590 --> 00:17:55,640
You could tell.
276
00:17:57,670 --> 00:17:58,720
Oh, I'd love that.
277
00:18:00,070 --> 00:18:01,120
Going overseas.
278
00:18:02,390 --> 00:18:04,650
Making a name for yourself overseas.
279
00:18:05,250 --> 00:18:06,750
I've never even been overseas.
280
00:18:07,750 --> 00:18:09,290
Oh, Toby, I'm jealous.
281
00:18:11,430 --> 00:18:14,260
Kind of feel like I missed the boat on
that one sometimes.
282
00:18:15,310 --> 00:18:19,489
Well, why don't you move overseas and
make a goal there? No, I can't now. Not
283
00:18:19,490 --> 00:18:20,540
with the boys.
284
00:18:20,970 --> 00:18:25,350
And Matt just loves his job.
285
00:18:25,950 --> 00:18:28,480
But if you're not happy, I'm sure he'd
understand.
286
00:18:28,481 --> 00:18:29,489
I'm happy.
287
00:18:29,490 --> 00:18:31,310
I'm so happy. Love it.
288
00:18:35,830 --> 00:18:39,950
Maybe I could come and visit you for a
weekend or something.
289
00:18:41,680 --> 00:18:44,520
I'd love that. Yeah, that'd be amazing.
Yeah.
290
00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:46,160
There's so much I can show you.
291
00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:48,240
Do you like dumplings?
292
00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:49,930
No.
293
00:18:52,080 --> 00:18:55,400
Okay, well, do you want to turn around?
We'll turn around now.
294
00:18:56,060 --> 00:18:59,240
Yeah. Let's see.
295
00:19:00,860 --> 00:19:02,800
Is this road no exit?
296
00:19:03,500 --> 00:19:04,550
Yeah.
297
00:19:04,860 --> 00:19:06,440
Come on. You know that.
298
00:19:07,860 --> 00:19:10,140
Uncle Mitch's road was a no exit?
299
00:19:10,600 --> 00:19:12,200
with just one way in and out.
300
00:19:12,820 --> 00:19:17,080
And to Hoi Ho's most notorious hotel, O
'Reilly sat right on the corner.
301
00:19:18,300 --> 00:19:21,080
Maybe Lady Luck was on my side that day.
302
00:19:24,380 --> 00:19:31,279
Are you sure that this is okay? Because
you know I can drop
303
00:19:31,280 --> 00:19:32,960
you at your actual house. Yeah, nah.
304
00:19:32,961 --> 00:19:35,799
I was just texting my mum. She's coming
to pick me up from here and we're going
305
00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:38,320
to go shopping for shoes.
306
00:19:39,420 --> 00:19:42,470
Okay. Oh, anyway. But thank you so much.
307
00:19:42,471 --> 00:19:45,109
Before you've been dropping me this far,
it's great.
308
00:19:45,110 --> 00:19:46,850
Are we still on for tomorrow night?
309
00:19:47,790 --> 00:19:50,570
Yeah. I just love that we get to spend
more time together.
310
00:19:51,570 --> 00:19:54,390
Yeah, I've been loving it. I mean, yeah,
it's good.
311
00:19:56,190 --> 00:19:57,630
Okay, yeah, bye.
312
00:19:59,950 --> 00:20:04,429
Early in my investigation, I had learnt
that O 'Reilly's manager, Trent, had
313
00:20:04,430 --> 00:20:07,930
CCTV cameras everywhere for his own
twisted reasons.
314
00:20:09,830 --> 00:20:12,660
Hey, do you want to see the local MP
asphyxiate himself?
315
00:20:12,850 --> 00:20:17,029
What? No. I was hoping against hope that
one of those cameras might be facing
316
00:20:17,030 --> 00:20:22,929
the roadside. I have discovered that
Uncle Mitch's road, Damihana Road, is no
317
00:20:22,930 --> 00:20:24,330
exit. It's a dead end.
318
00:20:25,010 --> 00:20:29,910
So his murderer would have to come in
and go out from the same exit.
319
00:20:30,150 --> 00:20:35,829
So I just need to find the CCTV footage
of the road outside the hotel on the
320
00:20:35,830 --> 00:20:37,570
afternoon of Uncle Mitch's murder.
321
00:20:38,030 --> 00:20:39,080
And then...
322
00:20:39,660 --> 00:20:41,000
I might find his murderer.
323
00:20:42,180 --> 00:20:44,100
I'll be at their car.
324
00:20:45,220 --> 00:20:46,270
Oh, that's true.
325
00:20:48,660 --> 00:20:49,710
Trent, look at this.
326
00:20:51,460 --> 00:20:52,820
An hour before you die?
327
00:20:53,060 --> 00:20:59,599
Yes. And that 38 -minute half -dial.
Exactly. I just need to see the licence
328
00:20:59,600 --> 00:21:02,340
plate. The angle wasn't right to see the
number plate.
329
00:21:04,490 --> 00:21:10,249
And we could see another defining
feature, a weird cartoon family sticker
330
00:21:10,250 --> 00:21:15,470
window. Am I looking at Uncle Mitch's
murderer, albeit through the vehicle?
331
00:21:16,090 --> 00:21:22,409
It wasn't a perfect lead, but I finally
felt I was on the right track
332
00:21:22,410 --> 00:21:26,270
to find Uncle Mitch's brutal murderer.
333
00:21:26,650 --> 00:21:33,150
And little did I know then, but I
actually knew this person quite well.
334
00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:37,750
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