All language subtitles for American.Vandal.S01E02.XviD-AFG

[Sara] Dylan did it.

Is that your first question?
Who I think did it?

'Cause it was totally Dylan.
I mean, someone saw him do it.

Like, seriously.

[Peter] You're talking
about Alex Trimboli.

Yeah.

Alex saw it happen,
so, like, case closed, right?

[Peter] Have you ever hooked up
with Alex Trimboli?

Ew.

[Peter] Did you get a hand job
from Sara Pearson?

Hundred percent.

Please, um, state your name
for the record.

Uh, Alex Trimboli, senior.

[Peter] Alex Trimboli,

the school board's only witness
to the vandalism on March 15th.

[reporter] It is a shocking scene
for Hanover High teachers

who left school today only to find
their cars vandalized with obscene images.

[Peter] Here's what I've been able
to dig up about Alex.

He moved to Oceanside in ninth grade.

He's an Eagle Scout.

He ran for class treasurer and lost.

I've always had a lot of respect for Alex.
A good student, a good kid all around.

Pretty much a straight shooter
from my experience.

[Alex] They say, like, high school
is the best years of your life.

Um, I know it isn't for me,

but I do think that I'll look back
and I'll think I killed it.

[Peter] Alex's testimony single-handedly
sealed Dylan Maxwell's fate.

I walked out to the parking lot,
and that's where I saw it.

I saw...

Dylan Maxwell...

spray-painting...

the graphic, uh...

dicks.

Now, are you certain of what you saw?

Yeah. Hundred percent.

Trimboli didn't see shit,
because I wasn't fucking there.

[Peter] In a case
with so little tangible evidence,

everything comes down
to who you can trust.

Do we believe Alex,
or do we believe Dylan?

That's what we'll be looking into today.

-Why would he say that he saw you?
-I don't know, dude.

Maybe 'cause he's a little bitch.

[Peter] I'm sorry, what?

"Little bitch,"
a phrase I didn't quite understand.

A little bitch.

[Peter] But it wasn't the first time
I'd heard it.

Why do you think Alex Trimboli would lie?

-Alex Trimboli? Little bitch.
-Huge little bitch.

[Peter] I don't think "little bitch" has
anything to do with Alex's masculinity.

They were challenging something else:

his integrity.

So, a little bitch is someone
who informs a teacher

when a rule has been broken or something?

No. No,
that's more like a fucking snitch...

Or whatever. Yeah.
No, a little bitch is more like...

Uh, more like someone who makes shit up.

[Peter] Oh, so,
a little bitch is like, um, someone who...

bends the truth
to make themselves look better?

Yeah, that's a little bitch move,
for sure.

Yeah.

[Peter] Alex Trimboli,
the school board's only witness.

But can we trust him?

Or is Alex Trimboli exactly
what Dylan Maxwell claims him to be?

This was gonna take a little research.

We brought Gabi along,
because she's a senior

and knows more about Alex than we do.
Also, she has a driver's license.

So, Alex Trimboli claims
to have had 11 beers at Nana's party.

I don't know. I don't believe 11 beers.

-Wouldn't you be unconscious after that?
-Dude, I was wasted.

-It was crazy, man. I had 11 beers.
-[Peter] Was that the most drunk

you've ever been in your life?

It's the most drunk anyone

at our high school's even been
in their life.

[Peter] Here's another thing.

He claims to have been
really close friends with Joey Themelis.

-[Gabi] No. That's so--
-Yeah? Wasn't he?

-No.
-Was he lying?

[Gabi] I never saw them hanging out,
but he always made these posts.

-Yeah, he always posted about them.
-Like "R.I.P., Joey." "Bros for life."

Yeah, Joey was a...
A bright light in this world.

[Peter] Were you guys friends?

[Alex] Best friends.

And to everyone...

who questions my friendship with Joey...

I want them to think about
how long they wore their cancer bracelets.

[Peter] Joey may not have been
bros for life with Trimboli,

or bros at all,
according to some of Joey's friends.

And the claim that he drank 11 beers
at Nana's party

also met with skepticism from seniors.

So, is Alex the type of person
to lie for attention?

I don't know. I mean,
maybe he could have been friends with Joey

and I just never saw.

Maybe he could have had...
Not 11 beers. Eight, nine.

It could be possible.

But the Sara part just seemed no.

This is Sara Pearson, dude. [chuckles]

I've had her in class,
and she is distracting.

You know, okay, I'm not gonna say
one of my students is unbelievably hot.

But, oh, my God, dude.

So, I won't.

[Peter] So, Alex Trimboli claims

that he got a hand job
from Sara Pearson?

[chuckles] Oh, hold on. Whoa, whoa.

I can't talk to you about that.
That's not-- That's...

Is that what he's saying?

[Peter] Do you have any way of proving

that Sara Pearson likes you
in any sort of way,

whether it's a photo you took together?
Um, anything. Anything.

Oh, wow.

A conversation between Sara Pearson
and Alex Trimboli on August 4th,

the night of the alleged hand job.

5:51 p.m. Alex: "Hey. You going
to the fire pit tonight after lights out?"

Over an hour passes.

Then Sara Pearson responds,
"Heyy," with two Y's.

Immediately, Alex texts, "You going
to the fire pit thing later tonight?"

Another hour passes.

Sara: "Yeah, def."

Alex: "See you there.
Probably be there a little after 10."

Sara responds,
"See you soon," smiley face.

Now, that could just be friendly,

but that "heyy" with two Y's,
I don't know.

Everyone in history has always known
that if you text someone

"heyy" with two Y's,
it means you wanna fuck.

Or... Or give a hand job.

-What base is Alex saying?
-[Peter] Third. Hand job.

Are we sure that's what third base is?

[Peter] Well, second base
is above the belt,

-and third base is below, right?
-Yeah.

-So, Peter, do you think Alex is lying?
-[Peter] I don't know.

I'm thrown by that text message,
the "heyy" with two Y's.

Two Y's.

One for "Why should I?"
One for "Why not?"

So, what? One Y just is a regular "hey,"
and then you add another Y

and all of a sudden, it's "heyy"?

-Each Y is, like, more wanting the D.
-Wow.

-It's more like, "Hey."
-[Sam] Am I doing it right? Hey.

[Peter] Ultimately, we all agreed

that the extra Y
was definitely more flirtatious.

Sam even stumbled upon a series of memes
that confirmed this.

So, is it possible that Alex isn't lying?

Maybe he did hook up with Sara Pearson.

Pete, I will say,
shit goes down at Camp Miniwaka.

[Peter] Camp Miniwaka
is an overnight summer camp

that many Hanover High students attend...

including Sara Pearson,

Alex Trimboli,

my co-producer, Sam Ecklund,
and my head of transpo, Gabi Granger.

-And according to Sam and Gabi...
-Shit does go down at Camp Miniwaka.

Last year,
there was a threesome in a canoe.

[Peter] We headed to Camp Miniwaka

to investigate the scene
of the alleged hand job.

If we're able to determine
that Alex did fabricate this fondling,

what else could he be falsifying?

If Alex said "blow job,"
I would have called bullshit, for sure.

-Really?
-But just...

eh, a simple hand job is not
that big of a commitment.

[Sam chuckles]

Wait, really?

[Peter] According to Alex, the alleged
hookup was a culmination of a few things.

First and foremost...

I had a legendary color war.

[Alex yelling, all cheering and chanting]

[Peter] For those of you like myself
who have never attended overnight camp,

color war is a competition
where the entire camp

is divided into two teams,
each of which is assigned a color.

The two teams then compete
in various challenges to earn points.

Apparently, it's a big deal.

[all cheering and shouting]

You know, like in "Mario"...

when he catches the star
and he starts blinking really fast,

and he can't be killed by the mushroom men
or those aggressive turtles?

That's what I felt like... unstoppable.

[Peter] That day, Alex earned huge points

when he gave an inspirational speech
at the mess hall.

He told his red team to know yourself
and know your worth.

But a quick Google search would suggest

he just took lyrics
from a popular Drake song

and changed the N-word to "red team."

I'm not sure how I feel about that.

[Sam] So, which way are we leaning?

[Gabi] Well,
there's one thing we didn't consider.

[Sam] What?

Sara was crushing on Van all summer.

[Sam] Was she?

[Peter] Multiple sources verify
that Sara Pearson was indeed crushing

on camp counselor Van Delorey last summer.

Sara spent her entire CPR training
staring at Van.

So, she would have done way more
than just some mouth-to-mouth with him.

She was into me?

I guess I didn't notice.

Van's the hottest counselor.
If I got rejected by him,

I would need a rebound, too.

I used to think Van
was almost the hottest counselor, but...

not, because of his hair,
but now he has better hair,

and now he is the hottest.

Look, I get it. Van's a god.

And could he have hooked up
with Sara Pearson? Probably.

Did he? No. Did I? Yes.

[Peter] But on the day
of the alleged hand job,

Sara found out that Van was hooking up
with someone else,

senior class president Christa Carlyle.

So, the theory is that she was so upset
that Van chose another girl over her

that Sara would look anywhere
for affection,

and why not from the MVP
of the color war?

[Alex] She was going through a lot,
and I was a shoulder for her to cry on.

We both love Bloodline.

And we were sitting there at the dock...

looking up at the stars... and...

before I knew it, she was jerking me off.

[Peter] According to Alex,
the stars aligned that night.

Everything came together,
and then... Alex came alone.

It was the moment I became a man.
I mean, she's an angel.

[Peter] This task would be a lot easier

if we could find an eyewitness account
of the hand job.

But is that even possible?

I'd been scouting that spot
for a number of years now,

and, uh, I mean, if there's anywhere
to get a hand job at camp, it's the dock.

[Peter] We did our best to reenact
all possible viewing angles of the dock

at ten p.m. on August 4th.

[Gabi] Okay, so, it's like...

[Peter] Most of the campers were
hanging out on the mess hall deck,

but they didn't have a clean sight line
of the dock.

The counselors' lounge,
where a few CITs may have been

at the time,
had an equally obstructed view.

Even if Andy, Kevin,
and the guys from the west lake house

were smoking weed in the brush,

they wouldn't have been able
to see the hand job.

There's only one viable viewing angle:
from the kayak rack,

where the hand job
would have been visible.

But it's very unlikely
that anyone would go

for kayak equipment at ten p.m.

So, it's safe to say,
there wouldn't have been an eyewitness.

Comes down to Alex's word against Sara's.

Did you get a hand job from Sara Pearson?

Hundred percent.

[Peter] Have you ever hooked up
with Alex Trimboli?

Ew.

[Peter] I found myself
wanting to side with Sara,

wanting to believe
that Alex Trimboli is a liar,

but then I go back
to that "heyy" with two Y's text,

and honestly,
it does feel like a request for the D.

[Sam] I mean,
I don't know if I believe it, but...

it's definitely-- I mean, it's possible.

It's definitely possible.

[Peter] Yeah, I guess
it could have happened.

I don't think we can definitively say
that Alex is a liar.

I probably...
shouldn't be telling you guys this,

but there is one more place
we should look.

[all speaking indistinctly]

[Sam] Ladies first.

[Peter] Tell us what we're looking at.

Okay, so, these initials are basically
a record of summer hookups.

-Then I'm probably all over this thing.
-No, you're not.

[Peter] You guys see any "Sara Pearsons"?

[Sam] Uh...

Yeah. Up here, there's a bunch of S.P.'s.

[Peter] All right.
Is there an "A.T." next to it?

[Sam] No. No.

-No.
-[Peter] No?

-No.
-[Peter] No "Alex Trimboli"?

No "A.T."

Hold on.
Do you think she maybe left it out,

like, out of, I don't know,
pure embarrassment?

[Peter] Yeah, I can see-- Yeah.

She may not wanna document every hookup.
Damn it.

-Wait, guys. Look at the bottom one.
-[Peter] What is it?

-"P.M." Who's P.M.?
-[Peter] P.M.?

Pat Micklewaite.

No. Ew.

-Good for him.
-Yeah, I heard that happened.

[Peter] This proves to me
that Sara Pearson

isn't concerned about being cool.

I mean, if she's honest about hooking up
with Pat Micklewaite of all people,

why wouldn't she be honest
about getting with Alex?

So, her credibility isn't in question,
but Alex Trimboli's is.

It was Dylan Maxwell?

Yes. It was...

It was definitely Dylan Maxwell.

Alex is lying.

-[Peter] Yes.
-Alex is lying.

[Peter] Alex Trimboli placed Dylan Maxwell
at the scene of the crime.

And he just went every single car
along this row...

[mimicking spray can hissing]

Dick.

Dick.

Dick.

[Peter] But Alex claims a lot of things,

including a hand job from Sara Pearson,
which likely didn't happen.

So, it isn't easy to trust Alex Trimboli
about Dylan's whereabouts on March 15th.

But is it any easier to trust Dylan?

Dylan, uh, where were you
on the afternoon of March 15th?

Um, I was at Lucas Wiley's house.

Do you know, uh,
what you were doing there?

Yeah. We were prank calling his neighbor.

I was with this dude.
This is 100 percent. He was here.

[Peter] The school board
dismissed Lucas Wiley completely.

In their eyes, he'd say anything
to get his best friend out of trouble.

Also, there's no hard evidence
of Dylan being at Lucas' house

during the exact window of time
that the vandalism was committed.

Here's how the school board sees it:

Dylan left Lucas' house at 2 p.m.

He drove from Lucas' to the school.

He vandalized 27 cars.

He deleted the security footage,

then exited the school out of
an industrial door in the wood shop room

where there are no security cameras.

The school places Dylan back
at Lucas' house at 2:31 p.m.

I have to say,
the school board's timeline is clean,

easy to digest, step-by-step.

It lays out the perfect crime.

Why would I leave Lucas'
to go do another prank?

I was already doing a prank that day.

[Dylan on recording]
I was at Lucas Wiley's house.

We were prank calling his neighbor.

[Peter] Dylan has been consistent
with his claim.

The WayBack Boys targeted
Lucas' next-door neighbor,

Leonard Janson,
an 86-year-old man known around town

for pushing
his government conspiracy theories.

From my backyard is this old,
crazy man named Mr. Janson,

and he's, like, constantly walking
up and down the street,

knocking on people's doors,
handing out flyers,

talking about, like, chem trails,
and, like, 9/11.

It's, like, any, like, new world order,

like, type conspiracy shit
that you can think of.

I mean, we got Janson so bad,

honestly, I'm surprised he didn't die.
Yeah.

[Peter] To them, this was no small prank.

Dylan and the WayBack Boys
put weeks of planning into it.

They were ready
to blow baby farting out of the water.

It was the best prank we ever done.
It's the best prank we ever done.

Dicks on cars?

That's funny.

You know, I get it.

But that shit we did to Janson?

That was, like, some next-level shit.

Janson prank, dicks on cars.

Nun humping, baby fart.

So, WayBack Boys,
this is Dumb Old Man Prank.

[Peter] They talk about the Janson prank
like it's a work of art. It's not.

It's a mess.

It's hard to follow,
and pretty mean-spirited.

But it's also the only solid,
tangible evidence

of Dylan's whereabouts on March 15th,
so, bear with me

as we go through these prank call records,
because they are important.

-[Janson] Hello?
-Janson, we're on to you.

You know too much, all right?
Especially about 9/11.

I was like,
"Janson, you've been compromised."

[Peter] This is the first time we clocked
Dylan at Lucas' house: 1:27 p.m.

We see Dylan in the background.

Spencer hides in the backyard,
filming Mr. Janson in his kitchen.

That's Ganj in the hazmat suit.

Anyway, we know it's 1:27

because the time and the duration
of the calls on the video

match exactly with the records

on Lucas' phone.
Lucas makes the first call.

We have an exfil specialist
who's going to get you out of here.

[Peter] He tells Mr. Janson that
an exfil specialist will be calling him.

The exfil specialist is Dylan.
This is our second prank call.

Janson, this is exfil specialist
Secret Agent Kiefer Sutherland.

[Lucas snickers]

Dylan calls him with, like,

the best Kiefer Sutherland impression,

like, in the world.

Dylan does a better
Kiefer Sutherland impression

than Kiefer Sutherland.

[Peter] Dylan tells Mr. Janson
that the government is on to him

and has bugged his house.

I'm gonna need you to identify anything
in your house with a microchip.

[Peter] That's Ganj flying the drone.

[Dylan] Electronics and stuff.

[Peter] After this call,
Dylan checks his phone

and tells the boys
he's going to take a dump.

I'm gonna take a shit.

-Dude, just use my bathroom.
-No, I gotta go to Priceless Moments.

[Peter] According to Dylan,
he's off to Mackenzie's.

According to the school,
he's off to draw the dicks.

Either way, right here...

I'm gonna take a shit.

[Peter] ...he's lying.

-Just use my bathroom.
-No, I gotta go to Priceless Moments.

[Peter] This puts him on the move at 1:59.

Nine minutes later, the memory card
on the GoPro filming Lucas fills up.

This will be important later.

The next time Dylan appears on camera

is at 2:31 on the front lawn
of Janson's house.

[Dylan laughing]

Mr. Janson, now terrified,

puts all of his electronics
on the front yard,

convinced they've been bugged
by the government.

Just, uh, cleaning things out?

And, so, he's put all of his electronics
on the curb,

and all these people are coming
to, like, pick up his electronics, man.

I want one of these, though.

[Peter] So, it comes down to this.

This time here, between 1:59 and 2:31.

This 32-minute period
in which we can't account for Dylan.

It's the same half-hour
in which the dicks were drawn

in the school's parking lot.

[Peter] All right, so, where did you go
when you left Lucas'?

You told them you went
to shit at Priceless Moments.

[Dylan] I lied about taking a shit...

but I went to Mac's house, I swear.

[Peter] So, you left in the middle
of the Janson prank?

-Yeah.
-[Peter] Why?

Why would you leave?

She posted something for me on Instagram.

[Peter] What did she post?

Like, a...

Like, a selfie of her, like...

looking all sexy, you know?

It said, "Home bored."

So...

[Peter] Three days earlier at Nana's
party, Mackenzie dumped Dylan.

Then on the night of the 15th,
Dylan and Mac got back together.

But because they weren't talking
during that three-day period,

Dylan believes she communicated
with him through Instagram.

-That impression was incredible, dude.
-I know, right?

[Peter] Dylan looks
at his phone before leaving.

Is he looking at Mackenzie's Instagram?

So, you thought that
that was her asking for you to come over?

Yeah. I mean, it was. Like... I know Mac.

You know, Mac's not the kind of girl
that's gonna, like, call you,

and be like, "Hey, I care about you.

You know, we should get back together."

So, I mean,
that Instagram was her way of saying:

"Cruise through."

Dude, Dylan loves fucking with people.

So, the fact that he left the prank
to come see me...

Babe, you're the sweetest guy.

It wasn't a big deal.
It was just dog food.

-Oh, it was great.
-I was only gone for a little bit.

[Peter] That bit keeps me up at night.

That bit is the exact window of time
when the vandalism was committed.

That bit is everything.

Dylan's story is pretty simple:

He drove four minutes
to Mackenzie's house,

he gave her the dog food,
they talked for a few minutes,

then he drove back.

He's gone for 16 minutes total.

He rejoined the boys at Lucas' house
around 2:15

to make the third and final prank call
to Mr. Janson.

No one's gonna believe me, are they?

[Peter] I've never told a story
about a real person before.

I've never sat across from someone
with so much to lose.

His college acceptance,
his girlfriend, his future.

I wanted to tell Dylan
that people would believe him.

I wanted to tell him
that everything would be fine.

Instead, I decided to tell him the truth.

I don't know.

It's not even fucking possible.

[Peter] What's not possible?

Driving to school from Janson's house,
spray-painting 27 dicks,

deleting the security footage,
and then driving back to Janson's house

in 32 minutes? I mean...

-there's no way that's possible.
-[Sam] I'm kind of with him on that.

-A lot of ground to cover in 32 minutes.
-Yeah.

So, well, we need to figure out
if it is even possible.

-How are we gonna get--?
-[Sam] I'll call Gabi.

-I'll text her now.
-Yeah.

[Peter] We drove from Mr. Janson's house
to the school.

-You ready?
-All right, so, I run in and...

-Go.
-Go.

-[Peter] We spray-painted dicks.
-[Gabi] Yeah.

-Eighteen.
-Time per dick. Okay.

Four hundred and eighty-six seconds,
divided by 60 seconds.

So, it took 8.1 minutes
to draw all the dicks.

We factored in adequate time to go
from the parking lot to the media server,

and the time it takes
to erase the security footage.

Five minutes to delete security footage
and escape.

-[Gabi] 5:03, but call it five.
-Okay.

Then we compiled all of our data
to determine...

Twenty-nine-point-one.

It's tight, but...

it is possible.

Dylan is unaccounted for on March 15th

between 1:59 and 2:31, 32 minutes.

And it would've taken 29 minutes,
give or take, to draw the dicks.

So, it is possible.

So...

that's not good.

No.

Yeah, that's... What about the voicemail?

[Peter] What about the voicemail?

Lucas' call records show
that there was a third

and final call placed
to Mr. Janson at 2:21.

Dylan claims that he returns
to Lucas' house

to make that call as Kiefer Sutherland,
and that it went straight to voicemail.

This is Mr. Janson listening
to that voicemail at 2:21.

We can see his reaction to the prank call,

'cause Spencer was filming him
from the backyard,

but we can't see Lucas and Dylan,
because the GoPro inside wasn't filming.

If it had been, we would have been able
to see this angle from the GoPro,

and we'd know whether or not
Dylan was there making the call.

We'd be able to confirm his whereabouts
at 2:21 p.m.

So, that voicemail is everything.

How hard is it
to change a fucking memory card?

-That's all he had to do.
-I was just super high.

If I had just checked the cards,

switched them out,
we would've got that voicemail, but...

Yeah.
Spencer obviously blew it with the video,

but I did leave a voicemail.

Otherwise he wouldn't have put
all his electronics outside.

-You know what I mean?
-[Peter] That part is true.

The entire point of this prank
was to manipulate Mr. Janson

into putting all of his electronics
onto the front lawn.

[Spencer] That call was so important.

I was filming Janson when he was listening
to that voicemail, and I could tell,

in his face, he was like, "Man,
I need to put all my shit on the lawn."

And he did.

[Peter] Couldn't anyone have left
that 2:21 voicemail?

-No.
-[Peter] If we get that 2:21 voicemail,

how do we know

-that it's Dylan's voice on the voicemail?
-Well...

it's either Dylan or Kiefer Sutherland,
you know?

Kiefer Sutherland's,
like, a super-rich actor.

You know, why would he
be prank-calling some old guy?

[Peter] I hate to say it,
but I believe him.

I don't think the WayBack Boys
would've trusted anyone else

-to make that Kiefer Sutherland call.
-All his shit is out here.

[Peter] And without that call,
how would Mr. Janson have known

to place all of his electronics
onto the front lawn?

[Lucas] Just having a yard sale?

[Peter] I fully acknowledge
how dumb this all sounds,

but is it just stupid enough
to make sense?

[chuckling]

If Dylan made that 2:21 call,
that means he would've

had to drive to the school,
paint the dicks, erase the footage,

and return to Lucas' house,
all in 20 minutes.

From my calculations,

the fastest it could be done
is 29 minutes.

If that voicemail exists,

it would completely shatter
the school board's timeline.

If that voicemail exists,
it would exonerate Dylan.

Hi. Mr. Janson?

Hi. I'm Peter Maldonado.

Uh, I know that this is,
like, a really weird request, but...

there was a voicemail left on your
answering machine a few days ago from a--

Do you enjoy pranking people?

-Yeah. It's fun.
-It's fun?

[Hixenbaugh] The people
you're pranking think it's fun?

-[Dylan] Yeah. Of course.
-[Hixenbaugh] Yeah?

Yeah, 'cause we're, like-- Afterwards,
we're like-- Like, it's just a prank.

[Hixenbaugh] Mm-hm.

And then they're like:

"Oh."

[Hixenbaugh] Mm-hm.

Uh, do you consider what happened
in the parking lot to the 27 cars a prank?

[Dylan] As a prankster,
you gotta respect another prankster.

That might have been a little too far.

But it was funny, you know?

I mean, we all know it's funny.

So, it's like, I do think it was funny,
but it sucks...

that I'm being accused,
since I didn't do it.

But, you know, I told you guys my story,

and, you know, I trust that you guys
will make the right decision.

[Mackenzie] Dylan was here.

[Peter] All right, um...

Is there any other evidence
that can place him here?

Because without that 2:21 voicemail,
placing him here

is the only other thing
that can exonerate him.

Look, dude,
Dylan was dropping off dog food, okay?

I don't know what else to tell you.

[Peter] All I know is someone is lying.

The truth feels just beyond my eyeline.

I've seen Dylan manipulate people.

I've seen Dylan manipulate me.

-[Peter] Do you want something to drink?
-Uh, yeah, I'll take, like, water.

[water flowing from faucet]

-You get a lemon, too, that'd be great.
-Lemon?

-Yeah.
-Okay.

Where do you keep--? In the fridge?

Uh, no, there's a tree outside.

[Peter] But is he the vandal,
or is he the victim?

Any way it could not
have been Dylan Maxwell?

No.

[Peter] The questions
just beget more questions.

Dude, Dylan loves fucking with people.

[mimics spray can hissing]

-Dick.
-Trimboli didn't see shit,

because I wasn't fucking there.

Hundred percent.

They got the wrong guy.

And to think, there's still...
There's still someone out there.

[Peter] Maybe the one question
I should be asking is...

am I his greatest prank?