All language subtitles for The.Cat.In.The.Bag.1964.1080p.BluRay.x264.AAC

This film won top prize
for a feature film

at the 1964 Canadian
film awards in Montreal.

This film represents
a filmmaker's take on the concerns

of certain groups of
French Canadian youth.

Montreal, 1964.
Under grey skies.

During an unusually mild winter.

Claude and Barbara are living out
the last days of their relationship.

National film board of Canada
presents

- my name is Barbara, and...

I'll be 20 on October 8.

I am Jewish.

I'm a libra,

but I don't really like that sign

because it means my
ruling planet is Venus,

and I want to be an intellectual.

- My name is Claude and...

I'm 23.

I'm French Canadian, so
I'm trying to find myself.

I know I need a lot of stability
and a lot of...

Advantages if I'm going
to succeed at anything.

In a film by gilles groulx

my society doesn't
give me what I need...

To live a life that's enlightened.

So, I tend to seek a kind
of solitude,

to find, within myself,
certain truths.

I have no choice.

I'm like the cat in the bag.

The cat in the bag

- Photographs... mirrors...

I do my hair, mess it up,
I put on makeup...

I come from a bourgeois family.

I have to admit I enjoy luxury.

I don't really get along
with my mother...

Well, she's pretty...

Liberal in the way she thinks,
but...

With the bourgeois,
there's always something.

I can't date whoever I want.

I have to be home by a certain time.

I'm sick of it!

- One way to cope:

As I was saying, be a loner.

Stick to yourself and a few friends.

That's why I'm reading
the negro revolt,

the Cuban revolution,
and frantz fanon.

I worship Jean vigo.
I'm learning proverbs.

I'm also reading this.
Taking sides

and this.
A plea against censorship

I cut out news articles
to better remember events.

And I tape them to the wall,
along with my ideal woman.

Ultimately, I'm looking for...

A way out.

I do a lot of biking.

I'd like to box.

I bought an Italian
bike from baggio.

And I've already got a boxer's nose.

Truth is, I'm a bit lost.

One believes less and less
in one's destiny.

I'd like...

No. I don't really want anything.

I worked at a newspaper,
where I tried a few things,

where I thought I could really
express myself and really...

Hear myself.

I tried to reach people
who would understand.

It was a waste of time.

- Last summer...

Before meeting Claude.

Have I changed since then?

I don't think so.

I'm always the same.

An optimist.

But why?

I ask myself.

When I look closely at things,

I lose all my optimism.

Is it...
Is it all just an illusion?

Is attending the national theatre
school just another game?

Am I kidding myself?
No, it's not a game.

The map of Quebec.
Montreal, right here.

Such a tiny city in this huge
space, in this huge country.

I want to travel there,

there, and there...

All the way to there.

I want to see things. I'm...

Very, very drawn to all those lives,

the people, eskimos...

Different ethnic groups.

I don't know anymore.

After the national theatre school,

I'll go to Europe and live in Paris.

Sounds about right.

When anglophones learn French,

it's to go to Paris.

- Not me, Claude.
- You know that.

Anyway, I'm not anglophone.
I'm Jewish.

And now I'm playing.

Do I really look like Nana?

- What does it matter?
- It's ridiculous to care about that stuff.

You never want to
play, Claude. You're no fun.

I don't want to be fun.

Claude.

I spend my time going in and out

for all kinds of pointless stuff...

Or under the false pretense
of looking for work.

I lead a superficial life.

That is to say,
I have no real thoughts.

I have no real life.

Just ideas.

Today, we're reading brecht.

I'm behind on the others because

my accent is so bad.

If I don't lose it, I'll be
stuck playing character parts.

Someone once said,
"the insipid routine of daily life

is my only constant."

North America's biggest French
daily. Circulation: 300,000.

That's my most fallacious pretence.

As allais says, "money
makes poverty bearable."

- Have you read Simone de beauvoir?

- No.
- Everything she says about...

- No.

You've read Simone de beauvoir?

- Yes, a bit, but I
don't really like her,

because I believe that, ultimately,

men are still superior to women.

- Why?

- Because they're men.

And we're women.

And the world is made for...
People are made for...

- But what do you
expect from a man?

- What do I expect from a man?

- Yes.

- That he loves me.

- Between your thoughts and...

And your actions, there's
some kind of disconnect.

Instead of hanging around at
the national theatre school...

With your friends...

- But what...

I wish you'd spend more
time here.

- But I've got to go to class.
- What can I do?

- For me, acting is basically
doing nothing.

It's just killing time.

- That's not true.
- We're doing something.

What about you? Do you
actually do anything?

- I don't do a thing, but I don't have
any ambition to do anyhting, either.

But I...

I feel like you're living in a
utopia, a dream world.

- Yes, that's true.

But what about you...

All your political ideas?

Aren't they dreams too?

Come on, answer me.

- I don't think they're dreams.

- What, then? They're not reality.
- They don't exist.

They're dreams.

An ideal. And ideals are dreams.

Laurendeau, dunton and
ouimet are traitors

In the morning, I get up late.

We all get up late.

Because we all go to bed late.

Toulouse earns his living
doing magic tricks.

Jean-Paul illustrates
children's books.

- Is Barbara coming over
this morning?

- Don't know.

Jean-Paul often has people
over for breakfast.

In the morning, I don't talk much.

- Anything funny in the express?

- Never.

- Toulouse, do a magic trick.
- Entertain me.

-As if magic wasn't miraculous.

It's what Toulouse does every night,

when he starts his show.

He thinks he's a god.

No joke...

- Hold this while I...

- What's this?

- Thanks.

It's not my best trick.

- We know!

- Hello!
- How's it going?

- Is this coffee?

- Barbara brought coffee.
- And croissants!

- Barbara brought us coffee.

I make the effort
to come over every day,

but you never even
seem to notice me.

I don't want to become
that sociable guy.

Because the more you're
controlled by society,

the less human you become.

"Constant contact" between
mm. Pearson and Johnson

expo 67 has passed.
Does it have a future?

Why are there no Canadian
films in our cinemas?

- The problem is accepting the need

To work with people you
might consider...

Sellouts.

You give me an article.

Let's take a look.

How did you research it?

It's from a book, right?
It's a concept...

But every day, the streets are full
of people with whom you disagree.

So what do you do?

No, this is no good.

The thing is problems do
not exist as...

An absolute.

They're part of the real world.

It's that... you're drawing...

You're drawing from books.

You're coming from...

Pure, raw emotion.

You've got to connect with bankers,

board of trade guys...

Guys from all over.

- But if my research is accurate,
aren't you censoring me?

- No, it's not censorship.

Because an article that's based
in reality, that reports facts...

- How about history?

- Yes, history, maybe... history
is, of course, reality.

But I mean, an article
based in reality

can be published.

- Like an article about secularism?

- An article...

An article about a problem that
concerns a majority of people.

But you're coming to
me with an article

that says,
"I want to change the world.“

but how do you change it?

What world are you changing?

Are you familiar with this world?

All I'm asking is that you
understand it.

That you can say,
it's like this and that.

Those facts are important.

More important, in fact,
than what your article says.

You bring me your ideas...

About how to change the world.

But before you can change the world,
you need to understand how it works.

There should be a column
where 20-year-olds

say what they think.

But, it's very particular.

That reality, of being 20-years-old,
it looks different...

Your world at twenty is
not like mine.

It's not the prevailing reality.

But what can you do?
That's the way it is.

But one day, one day,

that may all change.

And I'm not talking
about you getting older.

I'm talking about the
society you're dreaming of.

Maybe then...
It'll be possible...

To stay 20 until you're 60.

Who knows when?

They want people to stifle
their dreams. To maintain the status quo.

- Why so hostile?
- What have I done?

All I've done is love you.

- You really think I'm hostile?

- Yes, it really feels that way.

Just because I don't
share your ideas...

Or share them completely.

- You can see I'm always stressed.

But I...

I don't know, you're so easygoing.
It gets on my nerves.

Maybe that's why I'm hostile.

- You never laugh. Never joke
around. You're not so happy.

- Are you, you're happy?

- Yes, I think so.

- If I'm no fun to be with,
why stay with me?

- Because I love you.

We discuss ideas all the time.
Why can't we take action?

Even in Latin, there's a saying.

- What saying?

- Well, I don't remember the Latin,

but I think it's
"he who hesitates is lost."

He who hesitates is lost.

You know, in the competition
with...

Atlanta?

There was a guy, a young guy,

who thought he could win,
but he hesitated and lost.

Barbara,

at school I was educated
by hypocritical priests.

They taught us about faith,
but not how to think.

Don't you see everything I
must learn before taking action?

No, Claude. I feel
just as committed as you are.

But I'm not as hung-up as you are.

- I know.

- If nothing changes, we Quebecers
will never fulfill our potential.

That minister didn't know how
true his words were

when he said this:

"Everything seems to
happen by chance,

then suddenly everything
seems decisive."

As Marx said,
"men make their own history."

I borrow two bucks from Jean-Paul,
who already owes Toulouse 50.

Smart people are always
doing stupid things.

I'm not talking about the theatre.
I mean in real life.

- Hello!
- Hello, how's it going?

- Good, good, good.

- How's the theatre?

- The theater is going well.

Today, Mr. Sabourin said I'm making
progress and losing my accent.

- What are you reading?

- La presse.

- Anything new?
- Seriously?

- What?

Here are five guys who
messed up badly, but didn't flinch.

"Near monopoly on textbooks:
Authors had conflict of interest."

- That's terrible.

- "Commission of inquiry into
the book trade

denounces dpi officials
and consultants"

- you know what the dpi is?
- No.

It's the department of
public instruction.

"Unfair competition
from communities..."

Want to hear more?

- Go ahead.

- "Some of the leading figures

in the field of education,
religion and publishing..."

- Next week, we're going
to start working on a play.

- About what?

- Brecht.

I hope you'll come. You'll see
the theatre has changed.

- Some of the leading figures

in the field of education,
religion, and publishing.

The department of public instruction
and the catholic committee

have been implicated in this
massive conflict of interest

announced today by the report
of the commission of inquiry

into the Quebec book trade."

- They should be ashamed.
- "According to the report,

this situation has seriously hurt
the quality of education in Quebec."

The system isn't always
hurt by scandal. Anyway, it's legal.

"And the expenses
were considerable."

- Were secular schools involved?

- There aren't any.

- Well, I didn't know that...

- Look, cost of inquiry:
One million.

- You say I know nothing
about politics,

but you refuse to listen to what
I'm saying about the theater...

- A priest was beaten...

- How can you be so prejudiced?

- I'm not. Damn! It's right
here in black and white.

It says right here, $199,000...

- I'm listening!
- The theatre isn't so important.

- It is important.

- It's outdated art.

- I can admit I know
nothing about politics.

- Hey, the rhinoceros party...

When you talk about
the theatre, you talk nonsense.

You lump everything together.
You make no distinctions.

It's like if I said film

hadn't come of age after
watching an nfb film.

That's not what I'm
talking about, I'm talking about life.

We're all in the same boat.

It's not until we're forty,
after we've given up the fight,

that we're allowed to speak.

That's the system. There
are no opportunities.

I know a guy at a
paper who can help you if you want.

Waste of time.

I know him and I know
what he'll say.

Today it's life itself that
cuts you off from life.

- A revolution doesn't happen
overnight. That's what we think.

We think revolutions come by express
post and other luxuries like that.

But that's not how it works.
Revolutions happen slowly.

Gradually, through compromise, and
you see what you can accomplish.

At first, you don't know
what you want to do.

All you have is an idea.

But what if it was the other way
around?

If your action gave you ideas.

Let's say you start from scratch.

Let's say you're sent
to organize farmers,

without knowing their issues,
without knowing anything.

You go and find problems
with education,

small farms,
a ton of other things...

So you start to get an idea.

Journalism is a bit like that.

You jump in blindly. You
have to get a new start.

You're looking for news to
inform your readers,

people you don't know.

But you don't own the news.

Neither does the paper.
It's the public's.

And how will you find it?
By getting to know the people.

Then you're going to have
to dig and dig. Do the work.

And after a few years,
you'll be on to something.

- At some point, you want
to convey your rebellion.

They won't ask. You
have to tell them

like a press release.

- Yes, but...

- And if the papers won't
do that, then what?

- I agree, but you've got to plan it.

I'm part of the rebellion.
Someone who isn't...

Might as well throw
in the towel.

- Maybe, after 12 years at the paper,
you've gone a bit soft.

- Maybe I have, a little.

But on the other hand,

if I hadn't become a journalist,
I'd have been acting alone.

All very fine and heroic...

Maybe I've lost a bit of my edge.

But journalism,
I don't know who said it, but...

Isn't journalism about defiance?
I should find another way...

- Of course, why wouldn't
it be to convey rebellion.

I agree, but... it takes planning.
You've got to join forces.

- But after all that planning,
you've lost the guts to do anything.

Because I'm sure you
wouldn't do it now.

- Listen...

After 15 years, who knows?

- That's it. I'm not
waiting 15 years.

That doesn't interest me.

- You might have to
wait fifteen years!

- It'll be up to someone
else, then.

- No, it won't be up to someone
else...

- I knew it.
- It's called planning.

Putting money aside
for ten years,

so you can buy a car.

While the young live in an
idealistic, but hostile, world,

they talk nonsense with angels and
devils,

While waiting for miracles.

They accept the way things are.

They don't prepare for
what's coming.

They care more about security
than their passions.

"Never put off until tomorrow
what you can do the day after."

Study of the 46 sections
of bill 60 began in Quebec city today.

The united national mla for
the district of missisquoi,

Mr. Jean-Jacques bertrand,

moved to include a definition
of the education minister's rights.

The opposition argued

this will protect the rights of

neutral or nondenominational groups.

Mr. Jean lesage responded that this

will set the tone for the whole law.

The French-language secular movement

argues the bill 60 authorizes the
government to run church schools.

Mr. Albert gervais,
union nationale mla

for the district of montmorency,

explained to our reporter
what he called

the "anti-Democratic nature"
of bill 60.

The Quebec institute of chartered
accountants

suggested that the
federal government...

You never do what I want.

You find all sorts of reasons
not to make me happy.

You see, Barbara...

I judge you based on your actions.

In certain ways.

I approve or condemn you

based on how I feel about you.

$0...

It's because you don't love me.

You never approve of what I say.

Because it bugs you that I'm right.

And you know it.

You tell me to forget my ideals.

But you're not willing to
forget yours.

You obviously don't
know me, Barbara.

You anglos don't understand us.

You look down on us.

- Okay, if you say so.

- Strange coincidence.

James Baldwin says

that black Americans expect Jews
to understand them

because they've also suffered.

$0?

Rights belong to individuals,
not races.

Yes, but when
races are denied rights,

individuals are too.

- That's very good. Think so?

You talk nonsense.

No, you do.

- Sorry. I'll start over.

Not at all?

"Talent is good...
Experience is better"

When I think about my life,

it's like I'm doomed to failure.

We live makeshift lives.

Your thoughts are always
so gloomy. You seem to enjoy it.

I'm in class. We'll grab
a bite later. Barbara

According to the Muslim league,

muslims expect a fixed
representative proportion

in any future goverment created
after independence...

You know the type who get by.

They get along.

I know.

Maheu says we must change
the social structure.

That it's hard for us because
society is fighting us.

- What do you expect? Look
who owns the big magazines.

Big capital. Big money.

They're not really
interested in our ideas.

We have to make it on our own.

Obviously, it won't...

- First you need a job.

-But remember,

there's no point trying to reconcile
what you believe with your job.

In this society, you never
make it by being yourself.

This society...

It changes you,
forces its rules on you.

You have to play the game,
but cheat at the same time.

- Easier said than done.

- Some guys got blacklisted
from papers,

and the same thing in radio.

They were told to drop
our magazines...

Or lose their job.

That's what's so sickening.
The young become unemployable.

Society talks about democracy,
but it's still everyone for themselves.

We fight for scraps.

But there are people everywhere
who have to do what they don't want.

And it's the same everywhere.

Nobody listens to colonized
people until they revolt.

Without bloodshed, they think
they can get away with anything.

If I protest,
it could hurt my business.

You've got to take
people as they are.

Money has no smell.

Man proposes, god disposes.

Where there's a will, there's a way.

A bird in the hand is
worth two in the bush.

- I seem to be witnessing the birth
of a new folklore of alienation.

- For now, the majorette
corps are self-financed.

Most of their uniforms are paid for

by themselves or by some
club or association.

- These young women
use their allowance to...

- Yes, to be part of this kind
of group. They enjoy it.

It's also good training.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

- Finished?
- Ok, thanks.

- Clapperboard. One interview.

Once again, I see the
preachers of conformity

promote mediocrity

in a world they themselves
don't inhabit.

A philosopher said,

"there is no pure accident
in existence or in coexistence."

Right now, I know this:

We've been living this way
for 97 years.

The Quebec citizen's standard of living
is 10% lower than the average Canadian.

It's 27% lower than that
of neighboring Ontario.

English Canadians account for
71% of Canada's population.

At the start of the constituion,
we made up 50% of the population.

We're a minority in Canada,

but we're 82% of the
population of Quebec.

Yet we control just
20% of its economy.

Quebec has a population
of six million.

- Hi. How's it going?

- It sure doesn't sound like it.

You...

Remember the play I told you about?

The brecht?

Mr. Puntila and his man matti?

We're doing it.

Hello? Are you there?

We're mounting a produciton of
Mr. Puntila and his man matti.

I'm moving to the country.

Where?

- The place I told you about.

- Saint-Charles? When?

- Well, right away.

- You have to go?

You have to go? You can't stay?

Well, it's not so far away.
I could go every night.

You packed your trunk?

- It's right here.

- Your clothes and everything?
- Your books?

- And records.

I cleared out.

- So you're leaving town for good?

- Will you drive me?

- Of course.

- Don't worry.

I'll come back to Montreal
from time to time.

To submit articles.

- Shall we?
- Yes, let's go.

You're not worried I'll
find someone else?

You know, Barbara...

You have a gift for love like some
people have a gift for contempt.

You have a loving heart exactly
like some have a bad temper.

If you leave me, it will
be for someone else.

As for me,

I can't love a girl who
loves someone else.

Yes, you'll live alone

and make all kinds of decisions
that will change you.

I understand that better than you.

I'm not going to make decisions.

I'm just going to try to think.

I've made a mess of my life here.

It would be better
if we stayed together.

But I won't try to convince you.

I don't want things to change.

Claude, when you talk
to me, you talk nonsense.

If I have a loving heart,
it's because I feel inadequate.

And I wish I could have helped you.

You talk like we'll
never see each other again.

Yes...

You'll still see me, but you'll
never be the same again.

Barbara, why drag this out?

Can I still invite you
to spend the night with me?

Or, to come have a drink
with me?

You just want
to know if I'm leaving you.

You're just following
an impulse.

You don't want anything, Claude?

No.

What's Saint-Charles?

- It's a rural area.
- Montreal's vegetable garden.

The farmers do alright.

They don't have to go logging
to support their farms.

Now I can start to orient myself.

That way's north.

South, looking toward Montreal.

West, where the sun sets and
sometimes the moon shines.

Far to the east is the U.S. border.

My torture chamber.

I know my revolt Springs more
from my heart than my mind.

- Hello madame. Can I help you?

- I'd like to look around first,
thanks.

That's the end of my habits.

I'll have to find new ones.

I feel older, too.

- Am I a rebel?
- Yes.

Am I a revolutionary?
I don't know.

I keep coming across
words and phrases

I want to shout from the rooftops.

It's hard to relax.

I didn't know you liked to cook.

You never even asked
me if I knew how to cook.

I'm still a stranger to you.

You know nothing about me.

I'm a stranger to myself.

No, I'll drink my tomato
juice first.

Nice, huh?

- You like the table?

I hope you like the soup.

- Real good.

The peas are hard.

Your soup's good.

- I told you.

See? We're giggling
because we're not communicating.

We don't even say the
things we said before.

- The peas are good.

I don't even know why I'm here.

Okay, I'll eat my soup.

Stop laughing.

You have to read the paper?

- There's an interesting article.
- I haven't read a paper in three days.

- And you haven't seen me
in nearly a week!

- "Feed the crow. He'll
peck your eyes out."

- Is that true?
- What?

- "Feed the crow. He'll
peck your eyes out."

Mean people are always ungrateful.

- Your soup is good.
- Very, very good.

- "I taught you to swim.
- Now you can drown me."

Suspicions focus on terrorists
over criminal underworld

Radio-Canada
presents the latest news.

Defence minister hellyer has
ordered a company of 250 men

to guard the barracks threatened
by a Montreal separatist group.

So that's what we've
come to. Of course.

I can't even guess who's involved.

I feel so sheltered.

I always have something to do.

I keep busy these days.

I've started taking school
more seriously.

Or I'm taking myself more seriously.

But I've got less free time.

Life isn't a game.
I want to take it seriously.

I read this:

"When we judge something,
we're not making a judgment.

Our judgment is made possible

by the thing itself."

Hope has skipped three generations.

Life turns chance into
purpose, history, destiny.

Her name's manon something-or-other.

Now I know what a forest is,
a field, a river...

Because I've tested myself
by observing them.

- "Friday. Dearest Claude,

I know you'll understand

why I can't come to Saint-Charles.

There's too much snow.
I haven't bought winter tires yet.

We talk about you a lot though.
Jean-Paul, Toulouse, the whole gang.

I wish you were here.

But my professor, Mr. Bourin,
says I'm making progress.

We're putting on a play soon,
and I've got a big part.

I need to study the script.

I'll try to visit you
Saturday or Sunday.

Love always, Barbara."

"Saturday.

Dear Claude, unfortunately,
I can't make it this weekend.

My car broke down.

Sending you all my love,
and I hope to see you soon.

Barbara."

It's written,

but what matters is how it's said.

It can be very brief.

But if it makes you sad, remember

it's worse to drag it out.

I'm reading philosophy,
and that occupies my mind.

I think constantly about
what I'm learning.

Every moment of the day,
I dream about things,

things I imagine in the world
that are probably just a dream.

I even imagine people whose
presence here is conceivable.

I do virtually nothing,
but I know why.

Now I can start from scratch.

- Can I take that side?

- I'd prefer this side.

- So would I.

You took my place.

- Do you realize the time
you waste on makeup?

- Yes.

I also know...

I enjoy wasting time like that.

- Just admit that you waste
your time doing pointless things.

- No.

I'm doing two things at once.

While I'm wasting time, as you say,
I'm also thinking.

My mind is far away
from what I'm doing.

- No offense, but you don't
seem to really be living.

You act busy, to create the illusion
of a life,

that you're getting somewhere.

When all you're really doing
is marking time.

You're not getting anywhere.

- You're the one who's
not getting anywhere.

- Do you have any idea why I
moved out here to the country?

Do you know why I'm here?

- Yes, I know.

- What are my reasons for being
here, do you think?

- Yes.

What are my reasons?

You don't know?

- I'd rather not discuss it.

But what about you?
You're not living.

You...
You're just a living corpse.

- It's hard to live when you're
not given the means to act

or you've got to create
them yourself.

- That takes... that takes
a little time, Barbara.

But it's better than
wasting time on makeup...

Learning lines, seeing friends,
and gabbing about nothing.

- Life has meaning, and
I'm trying to grasp it.

- I'm trying to say somehting,
will you let me talk?

- I've listened to you for hours.

- But for every minute that I... that
I talked, I listened to you for hours.

- There comes a time in your life,

especially if you're as
nationalistic as I can be,

when you realize that if you don't
do something at the right time,

the exact right time,

- yes, but...

- If that time is very close
and you don't take action...

It's over. You're done.

- When that time comes,
I'll believe you.

- At one time, I felt because
of your nationality you might

be able to understand our problems,

understand our aspirations.

But somehow you don't get it.

You see nothing.
Absolutely nothing.

- That's your opinion.

In my opinion, you see nothing.

- Barbara...
- You're blind.

- In two years...

We'll see.

- More empty words.

“Barbara, my daughter,

Your father and I are
worried about you.

You come home too late, too often,
and you seem to be avoiding us."

- Etc., etc., etc.

I don't know
where to go anymore.

I don't know what will happen
with Claude and me.

I just don't know.

Before, I thought there might be
at least

some chance of a future for us.

But that faded pretty fast.

I don't know whether
he's ruined his life, or...

Or if he's just getting started.

But I can't stand his complacency.

And his pessimism.

It's not easy to be a
pessimist in this world.

You've got to choose.

Instead of going to the country,
he should have gone to Europe.

He won't tell me what he thinks.

He avoids me.

Either because he thinks I'm stupid,

or because he just can't
be bothered anymore.

Right now, I'm completely torn,

between my emotions or feelings...

And what I know is right.

He thinks he has revolutionary
ideas, but

he's afraid to take any risks.

He takes small steps,
never big ones.

And he thinks I'm afraid.

But he's the one who's
really afraid.

He's afraid of life.

He says I think only of myself,

but he leaves me no choice.

He shuts himself off completely,

then feels hurt because I don't
show enough interest.

I can't even do my makeup today.

- "Thursday.

Sweetie,

I can't see you this weekend.

We've got a fencing class,

and I can't miss it.

Yours, Barbara."

Ultimately,

my feelings for Barbara

were just a sign of transition.

It was just part of me
finding myself.

The end