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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,689 --> 00:00:08,241 - [bell dings] - God, I hate flying. 2 00:00:08,344 --> 00:00:10,310 You know if this plane goes down, the headline's gonna read, 3 00:00:10,413 --> 00:00:12,793 "ChaseDreams 'comma' others, die in plan crash." 4 00:00:12,896 --> 00:00:14,482 We are "comma others." 5 00:00:14,586 --> 00:00:16,793 Just need to see our pilots, and as long as they have 6 00:00:16,896 --> 00:00:18,413 salt-and-pepper hair, I am good. 7 00:00:18,517 --> 00:00:20,344 - Why? - Salt-and-pepper hair. 8 00:00:20,448 --> 00:00:23,068 It's experience, it's knowledge, it's miles. 9 00:00:23,172 --> 00:00:25,517 My ideal pilot is John Slattery. 10 00:00:25,620 --> 00:00:27,275 - This isn't even a real flight, okay? 11 00:00:27,379 --> 00:00:29,827 We're just gonna be circling JFK for 90 minutes. 12 00:00:29,931 --> 00:00:32,517 Why couldn't Chase just release his album in a club? 13 00:00:32,620 --> 00:00:35,137 - Uh, because any idiot can release an album on land. 14 00:00:35,241 --> 00:00:37,448 Only truly bomb people do it in the air. 15 00:00:37,551 --> 00:00:40,413 - Can we please not say bomb and air right now? 16 00:00:40,517 --> 00:00:42,758 - Look, this is gonna be fun, okay? 17 00:00:42,862 --> 00:00:44,103 And we're not gonna die. 18 00:00:44,206 --> 00:00:46,310 - When I say Chase, you say Dreams! 19 00:00:46,413 --> 00:00:47,793 - Chase! - ALL: Dreams! 20 00:00:47,896 --> 00:00:49,000 - Chase! - ALL: Dreams! 21 00:00:49,103 --> 00:00:52,206 - ALL: [cheering] 22 00:00:52,310 --> 00:00:54,206 - Okay, we might die. 23 00:00:54,310 --> 00:00:56,448 - ♪ 24 00:00:58,103 --> 00:01:02,137 - Okay, welcome, everyone. And shut up. 25 00:01:02,241 --> 00:01:05,241 Love the excitement. Can't take the noise. 26 00:01:05,344 --> 00:01:09,000 Now, you're here because you're Chase's biggest fans. 27 00:01:09,103 --> 00:01:10,620 And because your parents are rich. 28 00:01:10,724 --> 00:01:12,827 - Is ChaseDreams really on the plane? 29 00:01:12,931 --> 00:01:14,724 - Yes. - [laughing] 30 00:01:14,827 --> 00:01:17,931 - And for you super fans, it's not just Chase on the plane, 31 00:01:18,034 --> 00:01:19,655 but the whole Dream family. 32 00:01:19,758 --> 00:01:21,965 - [crowd cheering] 33 00:01:22,068 --> 00:01:25,000 - Love you, Cary. - I love you, too. 34 00:01:25,103 --> 00:01:26,517 - [cheering continues] 35 00:01:26,620 --> 00:01:27,931 - Hey, Cary. 36 00:01:28,034 --> 00:01:31,620 Your hair is looking a lot less swoopt. 37 00:01:31,724 --> 00:01:34,655 - I know. Why didn't you tell me I looked crazy? 38 00:01:34,758 --> 00:01:36,413 - Well, I was trying to be supportive. 39 00:01:36,517 --> 00:01:38,068 Also, it was also really funny. 40 00:01:38,172 --> 00:01:40,172 - You're the one that told me to ride the wave. 41 00:01:40,275 --> 00:01:43,413 - I told you to use Chase, not become him. 42 00:01:43,517 --> 00:01:46,965 - Once we reach 30,000 feet, we will be streaming live 43 00:01:47,068 --> 00:01:48,827 on ChaseDreams.com. 44 00:01:48,931 --> 00:01:53,275 There are cameras all over the plane, except the bathrooms. 45 00:01:53,379 --> 00:01:56,413 Viewers will be able to watch any camera at any time. 46 00:01:56,517 --> 00:02:01,517 So, if you need to yawn, burp, sneeze, fart, do it now, 47 00:02:01,620 --> 00:02:03,206 and do it fast. 48 00:02:03,310 --> 00:02:05,448 - [fart] - Excellent. 49 00:02:05,551 --> 00:02:07,241 - Ooh, um... 50 00:02:07,344 --> 00:02:09,103 here's a random question. 51 00:02:09,206 --> 00:02:14,172 Lance--he's just such an idiot, right? 52 00:02:14,275 --> 00:02:15,724 - Um, sure. 53 00:02:15,827 --> 00:02:20,586 - But he's, you know--he's kind of cool, as well. 54 00:02:20,689 --> 00:02:22,137 - So you're getting back together with him? 55 00:02:22,241 --> 00:02:23,620 - No! - Yes. 56 00:02:23,724 --> 00:02:24,620 - No. 57 00:02:24,724 --> 00:02:27,241 No, never, I just-- 58 00:02:27,344 --> 00:02:28,758 I think you should be nicer to him. 59 00:02:28,862 --> 00:02:30,241 - Okay, Brooke. 60 00:02:30,344 --> 00:02:32,103 God, I wish I had seen those pilots. 61 00:02:32,206 --> 00:02:34,310 - Hey, Car, I know you're scared of flying, 62 00:02:34,413 --> 00:02:36,896 so I thought you might wanna hold Helen for a little bit. 63 00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:38,413 - You brought a pig on the plane? 64 00:02:38,517 --> 00:02:40,448 - It's a therapy pig. I got it for you. 65 00:02:40,551 --> 00:02:42,793 Look, she's very calming, unless you hold her the wrong way, 66 00:02:42,896 --> 00:02:45,758 then she'll attack you in ways you never thought were possible. 67 00:02:45,862 --> 00:02:48,000 - Um, no thank you. 68 00:02:48,103 --> 00:02:50,034 - Okay, I was just trying to help. 69 00:02:50,137 --> 00:02:51,413 - [pig squealing] 70 00:02:51,517 --> 00:02:53,931 - Okay, folks, we are ten minutes out from hearing 71 00:02:54,034 --> 00:02:55,655 Chase's new album! 72 00:02:55,758 --> 00:02:56,931 - [crowd cheering] 73 00:02:57,034 --> 00:02:58,724 - Twelve incredible songs. 74 00:02:58,827 --> 00:03:02,379 We are talking over 19 minutes of music. 75 00:03:02,482 --> 00:03:04,379 - Twelve? I thought it only had three songs. 76 00:03:04,482 --> 00:03:08,206 - Uh-huh. And nine remixes. 77 00:03:08,310 --> 00:03:11,448 - Hey, not to be a bummer, but, um... 78 00:03:11,551 --> 00:03:15,068 how are you doing with today? 79 00:03:15,172 --> 00:03:17,206 - Oh, um... 80 00:03:17,310 --> 00:03:18,551 I'm okay. 81 00:03:18,655 --> 00:03:20,931 - Sorry to bring it up, I-- - No, no, no. It's-- 82 00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:23,241 It's good, I mean, it's been almost a year and no one 83 00:03:23,344 --> 00:03:25,551 ever talks about Dad. - Yeah, it sucks. 84 00:03:25,655 --> 00:03:27,758 - I wonder if Chase remembers today's his birthday. 85 00:03:27,862 --> 00:03:30,172 - I'm sure Mom does. I hope she's doing okay. 86 00:03:30,275 --> 00:03:31,620 - Hi, guys! - Oh God. 87 00:03:31,724 --> 00:03:34,241 - Hey! How--how you doing with today? 88 00:03:34,344 --> 00:03:35,620 - I'm great. I'm great. 89 00:03:35,724 --> 00:03:37,965 This is such a big day for Chasey and me. 90 00:03:38,068 --> 00:03:40,206 I'm wearing the first sample from my jewelry line. 91 00:03:40,310 --> 00:03:41,655 - Oh, you have a jewelry line now? 92 00:03:41,758 --> 00:03:43,517 - Yeah, yeah. The book was such a hit that 93 00:03:43,620 --> 00:03:45,034 they're letting me move into apparel now. 94 00:03:45,137 --> 00:03:46,379 This is just a prototype. 95 00:03:46,482 --> 00:03:48,551 The real version will be four times bigger and heavier. 96 00:03:48,655 --> 00:03:50,310 - Okay, I'm gonna go check on Chase. 97 00:03:50,413 --> 00:03:51,862 - I'm wearing it on the live stream 98 00:03:51,965 --> 00:03:54,551 to get feedback from "the marketplace." 99 00:03:54,655 --> 00:03:57,896 - Yeah, wow, you--you're doing a lot. 100 00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:02,034 - [indistinct chatter] 101 00:04:02,137 --> 00:04:06,413 - Hey, kiddo, just wanted to see how you were doing today. 102 00:04:06,517 --> 00:04:08,275 - I guess I feel a little weird. 103 00:04:08,379 --> 00:04:09,379 - Yeah, I figured. 104 00:04:09,482 --> 00:04:11,689 You wanna talk about it? - Sure. 105 00:04:11,793 --> 00:04:13,862 They put a bunch of filler in my lips to make them 106 00:04:13,965 --> 00:04:16,034 look kissable, and then I can't feel them. 107 00:04:18,275 --> 00:04:19,448 - Oh. 108 00:04:19,551 --> 00:04:21,827 - Okay, any last questions before we go live? 109 00:04:21,931 --> 00:04:23,310 - Yeah. Where's my mom? 110 00:04:23,413 --> 00:04:26,413 - Oh, right. She arrived not very camera ready. 111 00:04:26,517 --> 00:04:28,620 So, Cassandra will be your mom for this flight. 112 00:04:28,724 --> 00:04:30,862 - Hello. - That's an upgrade. 113 00:04:33,448 --> 00:04:35,000 - Chase doesn't remember either. 114 00:04:35,103 --> 00:04:36,724 - Oh my God, that is so sad. 115 00:04:36,827 --> 00:04:38,827 - I have said it once, I'll say it again, Cary. 116 00:04:38,931 --> 00:04:41,275 We are the only normal, emotionally stable people 117 00:04:41,379 --> 00:04:42,896 in this family. 118 00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:45,000 - Oh God! Oh God! 119 00:04:45,103 --> 00:04:46,241 - Oh my God. 120 00:04:46,344 --> 00:04:49,172 Come on, that was not even that bad. 121 00:04:49,275 --> 00:04:50,482 - [bell dings] 122 00:04:50,586 --> 00:04:51,931 - TIFF: Hey, guys, it's your captains speaking-- 123 00:04:52,034 --> 00:04:53,379 Tiff and Amanda. 124 00:04:53,482 --> 00:04:54,689 - AMANDA: Sorry about the turbulence. 125 00:04:54,793 --> 00:04:57,655 But from now on, we're expecting such a smooth ride. 126 00:04:57,758 --> 00:04:59,862 - TIFF: So relax and enjoy the flight. 127 00:04:59,965 --> 00:05:01,172 - TIFF AND AMANDA: Byeeee! 128 00:05:01,275 --> 00:05:03,103 - Mm, no. 129 00:05:03,206 --> 00:05:06,620 Our pilot's name is Tiff? 130 00:05:06,724 --> 00:05:08,413 - Oh, what? A woman can't be a pilot? 131 00:05:08,517 --> 00:05:09,551 - Okay. - Wow. 132 00:05:09,655 --> 00:05:11,241 Gay misogyny is real. 133 00:05:11,344 --> 00:05:13,655 - No, a woman can be my pilot. Alright? 134 00:05:13,758 --> 00:05:15,482 Meryl Streep can be my pilot. 135 00:05:15,586 --> 00:05:17,000 Viola Davis can be my pilot. 136 00:05:17,103 --> 00:05:19,413 - You'd rather have Viola Davis, the actress, 137 00:05:19,517 --> 00:05:21,379 than two actual pilots? 138 00:05:21,482 --> 00:05:22,862 - [bell dings] 139 00:05:22,965 --> 00:05:25,103 - TIFF: Hey, guys, sorry to bug, but we have now reached 140 00:05:25,206 --> 00:05:26,724 cruising altitude. 141 00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:28,241 - AMANDA: So feel free to unbuckle 142 00:05:28,344 --> 00:05:29,620 and move about the cabins. 143 00:05:29,724 --> 00:05:31,482 - TIFF AND AMANDA: Byeee! 144 00:05:31,586 --> 00:05:33,758 - I know you know what I mean. - No. No, I don't. 145 00:05:33,862 --> 00:05:35,482 - They said "bye" at the same time. 146 00:05:35,586 --> 00:05:37,793 - I love women. 147 00:05:37,896 --> 00:05:39,344 I think all pilots should be women, 148 00:05:39,448 --> 00:05:41,793 and I think all flight attendants should be-- 149 00:05:41,896 --> 00:05:44,000 - Yeah, well, we have-- - Oh, shit. 150 00:05:44,103 --> 00:05:45,310 - What? 151 00:05:45,413 --> 00:05:47,517 - It's the guy I used to sleep with by the airport. 152 00:05:47,620 --> 00:05:49,620 Oh my God, he's coming. He's coming. 153 00:05:49,724 --> 00:05:52,448 [snoring] 154 00:05:54,241 --> 00:05:55,379 Ugh! - [bell rings] 155 00:05:55,482 --> 00:05:57,586 - Okay, it's official. We are streaming live! 156 00:05:57,689 --> 00:05:59,275 Say hi to the world, guys! 157 00:05:59,379 --> 00:06:01,586 - ALL: Hi! 158 00:06:01,689 --> 00:06:05,655 - On behalf of ChaseDreams.com, welcome to the release of 159 00:06:05,758 --> 00:06:08,586 "Chase Manhattan," featuring "Speak," 160 00:06:08,689 --> 00:06:12,310 the number-one song on iTunes for six weeks running. 161 00:06:12,413 --> 00:06:15,413 And now the man behind the music, 162 00:06:15,517 --> 00:06:17,344 ChaseDreams! 163 00:06:17,448 --> 00:06:18,517 - [crowd cheering] 164 00:06:18,620 --> 00:06:20,103 - ♪ We've been a lot of places ♪ 165 00:06:20,206 --> 00:06:23,551 ♪ Partied in Miami, Argentina, and Ibiza, too ♪ 166 00:06:23,655 --> 00:06:25,551 ♪ Never leave the dance floor 167 00:06:25,655 --> 00:06:29,793 - GIRLS: [screaming] 168 00:06:29,896 --> 00:06:32,206 - ♪ Dance all day, dance all night ♪ 169 00:06:32,310 --> 00:06:33,586 - Calm down, okay. 170 00:06:33,689 --> 00:06:35,448 Thank you guys so much for being here. 171 00:06:35,551 --> 00:06:37,379 Today's a special day, 'cause it is the release 172 00:06:37,482 --> 00:06:39,103 of my first album I ever got to make. 173 00:06:39,206 --> 00:06:41,758 - GIRLS: [screaming] 174 00:06:41,862 --> 00:06:43,827 - It's also special because today would have been 175 00:06:43,931 --> 00:06:44,862 my dad's birthday. 176 00:06:44,965 --> 00:06:46,310 - GIRLS: [aws] 177 00:06:46,413 --> 00:06:48,827 - He was the best, and I really miss him. 178 00:06:48,931 --> 00:06:50,413 He died of cancer. 179 00:06:50,517 --> 00:06:53,827 So, in honor of him, I have a surprise. 180 00:06:53,931 --> 00:06:56,103 I'm gonna donate 10% of my album sales 181 00:06:56,206 --> 00:06:58,206 to the American Cancer Society! 182 00:06:58,310 --> 00:07:02,517 - ALL: [screaming] 183 00:07:02,620 --> 00:07:04,206 - [indistinct whispers] 184 00:07:07,103 --> 00:07:08,655 - What are we doing? 185 00:07:08,758 --> 00:07:09,965 - There's no cameras in here. 186 00:07:10,068 --> 00:07:11,482 - I don't think there's any AC either. 187 00:07:11,586 --> 00:07:13,103 - God, Cary, focus. 188 00:07:13,206 --> 00:07:15,655 Chase just told the whole world that dad died of cancer. 189 00:07:15,758 --> 00:07:17,724 Mom needs to tell him the truth before someone else does. 190 00:07:17,827 --> 00:07:18,862 - I know. 191 00:07:18,965 --> 00:07:20,655 You should talk to her. - What? Why me? 192 00:07:20,758 --> 00:07:22,620 - Because you're Chase's assistant now. 193 00:07:22,724 --> 00:07:24,034 - So? You are way better 194 00:07:24,137 --> 00:07:25,862 at having difficult conversations with Mom. 195 00:07:25,965 --> 00:07:27,413 Remember when you told her you were gay? 196 00:07:27,517 --> 00:07:28,896 - You told her I was gay. 197 00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:31,793 - I mean, who can remember who told what, when? 198 00:07:31,896 --> 00:07:34,275 - She found weed in your purse, so you said, "Cary's gay." 199 00:07:34,379 --> 00:07:35,827 - [laughing] That's right. 200 00:07:35,931 --> 00:07:37,862 Well, in that case, it's your turn. 201 00:07:37,965 --> 00:07:41,172 - ALL: [cheering] 202 00:07:41,275 --> 00:07:44,655 - ♪ Stink my butt, stink, stink, dance until you ♪ 203 00:07:44,758 --> 00:07:46,379 - Hey, Mom. Can I talk to you 204 00:07:46,482 --> 00:07:47,965 in the bathroom for a sec? - Sure. 205 00:07:48,068 --> 00:07:50,793 - ♪ N-K, Stink ♪ 206 00:07:50,896 --> 00:07:53,413 - Okay, if you guys liked that song, 207 00:07:53,517 --> 00:07:55,862 you're love this next one, 'cause it's the same, 208 00:07:55,965 --> 00:07:56,965 plus horns. 209 00:07:57,068 --> 00:07:59,655 - ALL: [cheering] 210 00:08:01,517 --> 00:08:03,724 - How do people have sex in these things? 211 00:08:03,827 --> 00:08:04,965 They're so small. - Ew, Mom, gross. 212 00:08:05,068 --> 00:08:06,482 How are you not freaking out right now? 213 00:08:06,586 --> 00:08:07,793 - About what? 214 00:08:07,896 --> 00:08:10,103 - Chase just made his entire album about cancer, 215 00:08:10,206 --> 00:08:12,275 and he did not have a dad that died of cancer. 216 00:08:12,379 --> 00:08:13,689 - So, it's still nice. 217 00:08:13,793 --> 00:08:15,586 And what? Are you saying you don't want your brother 218 00:08:15,689 --> 00:08:17,758 raising money for cancer? That's pretty low, Cary. 219 00:08:17,862 --> 00:08:20,655 - No, I don't want my little brother labeled a liar. 220 00:08:20,758 --> 00:08:23,275 - Well, no one knows the truth except for our family. 221 00:08:23,379 --> 00:08:24,620 Well, and the hospital. 222 00:08:24,724 --> 00:08:25,931 And Lisa from down the street. 223 00:08:26,034 --> 00:08:27,724 She's the one who brought me the blow dryer. 224 00:08:27,827 --> 00:08:29,793 - Oh my God, Mom. - But it's not online anywhere. 225 00:08:29,896 --> 00:08:31,931 Even his obituary said cancer. 226 00:08:32,034 --> 00:08:33,793 So this can just be like our new family history. 227 00:08:33,896 --> 00:08:36,620 - Mom, that's not fair to Chase. 228 00:08:37,793 --> 00:08:39,344 - We'll deal with it later. 229 00:08:39,448 --> 00:08:41,000 I mean, he's only said cancer once. 230 00:08:41,103 --> 00:08:43,379 - Okay, guys, I've got another surprise. 231 00:08:43,482 --> 00:08:45,275 This fall, I'm going on tour. 232 00:08:45,379 --> 00:08:47,689 And 10% of the proceeds will also go 233 00:08:47,793 --> 00:08:49,586 to The American Cancer Society. 234 00:08:49,689 --> 00:08:53,275 - GIRLS: [cheering] 235 00:08:53,379 --> 00:08:55,275 - Great idea, Chasey! 236 00:08:55,379 --> 00:08:57,965 You're doing it! You're fighting cancer! 237 00:08:58,068 --> 00:08:59,241 Hi, Shully. 238 00:08:59,344 --> 00:09:01,448 Can I go talk to you in the bathroom for a second? 239 00:09:01,551 --> 00:09:04,827 - ♪ 240 00:09:06,517 --> 00:09:08,137 - Listen, is there anyway we can tone down 241 00:09:08,241 --> 00:09:09,241 the whole cancer thing? 242 00:09:09,344 --> 00:09:10,448 - Absolutely not. 243 00:09:10,551 --> 00:09:12,000 This is a pure goldmine. 244 00:09:12,103 --> 00:09:14,758 That's why we made sure every kid on this plane has cancer. 245 00:09:14,862 --> 00:09:16,448 - They do? - No, no, no, 246 00:09:16,551 --> 00:09:17,862 we ended up not doing that, 247 00:09:17,965 --> 00:09:19,827 because we didn't want them coughing over "the music." 248 00:09:19,931 --> 00:09:22,344 - It just feels like cancer's been done before, you know? 249 00:09:22,448 --> 00:09:25,241 Between you and me, I feel like if we were gonna solve cancer, 250 00:09:25,344 --> 00:09:26,517 we really would have by now. 251 00:09:26,620 --> 00:09:27,793 - Trust me, Brooke. 252 00:09:27,896 --> 00:09:30,344 By the end of this blitz, Chase will own cancer. 253 00:09:30,448 --> 00:09:32,482 - Okay, it's-- 254 00:09:32,586 --> 00:09:37,344 [sobbing] It's just really hard for me... 255 00:09:37,448 --> 00:09:39,275 to hear cancer. 256 00:09:39,379 --> 00:09:41,206 - Oh, Brooke, I'm sorry. 257 00:09:41,310 --> 00:09:44,862 - Okay, if you're gonna cry, let's get it on the live stream. 258 00:09:44,965 --> 00:09:49,896 - ♪ 259 00:09:51,413 --> 00:09:53,000 ♪ There's a lot of places 260 00:09:53,103 --> 00:09:55,310 - Can I talk to you in the bathroom for a second? 261 00:09:55,413 --> 00:09:57,137 - Sure. Yeah. 262 00:09:57,241 --> 00:09:58,448 Is everything okay? 263 00:09:58,551 --> 00:10:00,793 - Oh, yeah, yeah. I just wanted to do one of these. 264 00:10:00,896 --> 00:10:02,931 So, what are you guys talking about in here? 265 00:10:03,034 --> 00:10:04,379 - [pig squealing] 266 00:10:04,482 --> 00:10:06,551 - You making fun of me? - What? No. 267 00:10:06,655 --> 00:10:08,517 No, we're just dealing with a family issue, so-- 268 00:10:08,620 --> 00:10:09,931 - Oh, good. 269 00:10:10,034 --> 00:10:12,965 Then come on, lay it on me, man, what's the issue? 270 00:10:13,068 --> 00:10:14,620 Alright, because I consider you guys family. 271 00:10:14,724 --> 00:10:16,103 You and Brooke are like grandparents to me. 272 00:10:16,206 --> 00:10:18,413 - That's very nice, but we're gonna handle this internally. 273 00:10:18,517 --> 00:10:20,551 - Okay, you know what I think might help? 274 00:10:20,655 --> 00:10:22,793 Helen. [chuckles] - I don't wanna hold your pig. 275 00:10:22,896 --> 00:10:25,068 - Okay, well, can you? 'Cause she's very heavy. 276 00:10:25,172 --> 00:10:27,241 - Okay, guys, thanks to everyone who bought tickets 277 00:10:27,344 --> 00:10:30,551 to the raffle, all the proceeds are going to-- 278 00:10:30,655 --> 00:10:31,862 say it with me now-- 279 00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:35,000 - ALL: The American Cancer Society! 280 00:10:35,103 --> 00:10:37,344 [cheering] 281 00:10:37,448 --> 00:10:39,827 - Now the first prize is sick. 282 00:10:39,931 --> 00:10:42,413 - It's hot. Where's Cary? 283 00:10:42,517 --> 00:10:44,517 Oh! Oh my God. 284 00:10:44,620 --> 00:10:46,344 Oh, hi. [giggles] 285 00:10:46,448 --> 00:10:48,482 It's embarrassing. 286 00:10:48,586 --> 00:10:50,551 How are you? - I'm great, Ma'am. 287 00:10:50,655 --> 00:10:52,275 Would you like a beverage? - Huh-uh. 288 00:10:52,379 --> 00:10:54,206 Very funny. 289 00:10:54,310 --> 00:10:56,793 Uh, so no beverage then, Ma'am? 290 00:10:56,896 --> 00:10:59,586 - Are you joking? It's me. It's Brooke. 291 00:11:01,586 --> 00:11:03,413 - Have we met before? 292 00:11:03,517 --> 00:11:05,448 - Yeah, we used to hang out. 293 00:11:05,551 --> 00:11:07,586 At the motel. 294 00:11:07,689 --> 00:11:09,310 By JFK. 295 00:11:09,413 --> 00:11:11,586 - I don't-- - I ate your butt. 296 00:11:11,689 --> 00:11:13,827 Oh my God, sorry, sorry, sorry. 297 00:11:13,931 --> 00:11:15,241 - Okay, guys, this next item 298 00:11:15,344 --> 00:11:17,758 is a chance to be a part of my next music video, 299 00:11:17,862 --> 00:11:19,413 'cause I'll think of you as I film it. 300 00:11:19,517 --> 00:11:22,379 - ALL: [cheering] 301 00:11:22,482 --> 00:11:24,000 - Mom? 302 00:11:24,103 --> 00:11:24,896 - Whooo! 303 00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:28,103 - Hi, Mom! You're having fun! 304 00:11:28,206 --> 00:11:30,275 Can I talk to you in the bathroom for a second? 305 00:11:30,379 --> 00:11:31,655 - ♪ 306 00:11:31,758 --> 00:11:33,241 - Mom, what are you doing out there? 307 00:11:33,344 --> 00:11:35,655 I thought Cary talked to you. - He did talk to me. 308 00:11:35,758 --> 00:11:37,344 We both decided we're not gonna tell Chase the truth. 309 00:11:37,448 --> 00:11:39,793 - Uh, Mom. I know that you lied to Chase to protect him, 310 00:11:39,896 --> 00:11:41,275 but you could really hurt him. 311 00:11:41,379 --> 00:11:44,241 - If you two want him to know so bad, why don't you tell him? 312 00:11:44,344 --> 00:11:45,517 - Because I'm not his mom, Mom! 313 00:11:45,620 --> 00:11:46,896 Even though I basically have been 314 00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:49,137 for the last six months. - Is it hot in here? 315 00:11:49,241 --> 00:11:51,000 - Come on, don't change the subject. 316 00:11:51,103 --> 00:11:53,172 - Okay, here's what we're gonna do. 317 00:11:53,275 --> 00:11:54,689 We're not gonna tell Chase. 318 00:11:54,793 --> 00:11:57,241 And starting tomorrow, my name's Roberta, you're Felicia, 319 00:11:57,344 --> 00:11:59,103 Cary's Dante, Chase is Miguel. 320 00:11:59,206 --> 00:12:01,379 We move to South America, we start over. 321 00:12:01,482 --> 00:12:02,551 - What? 322 00:12:02,655 --> 00:12:05,413 No, that is--no, God. 323 00:12:05,517 --> 00:12:06,724 Also, Felicia? 324 00:12:06,827 --> 00:12:07,862 - ♪ My brother's gay 325 00:12:07,965 --> 00:12:10,551 - Yes, gay. Very fun. 326 00:12:10,655 --> 00:12:13,275 This song is about me, yeah. 327 00:12:13,379 --> 00:12:14,724 I love this. Hey, Shully. 328 00:12:14,827 --> 00:12:16,034 Have you seen Brooke? 329 00:12:16,137 --> 00:12:18,000 - I think she's in the bathroom with your mom. 330 00:12:18,103 --> 00:12:18,862 - Thanks, cutie. 331 00:12:18,965 --> 00:12:20,241 - ♪ 332 00:12:20,344 --> 00:12:22,551 - Chase is still going very hard on the whole cancer thing. 333 00:12:22,655 --> 00:12:24,137 Have you not told him? - No, she hasn't. 334 00:12:24,241 --> 00:12:26,137 - How 'bout this? We crash the plane. 335 00:12:26,241 --> 00:12:28,206 - Mom? - Not into a building, Cary. 336 00:12:28,310 --> 00:12:30,827 Into a field, so only we die. - Mom, no. 337 00:12:30,931 --> 00:12:33,172 - Well, I don't see you two pitching any ideas. 338 00:12:33,275 --> 00:12:35,068 Oh my God, why is it so hot in here? 339 00:12:35,172 --> 00:12:36,724 - [bell dings] - AMANDA: Hi, you guys. 340 00:12:36,827 --> 00:12:39,241 Not sure if you noticed, but the AC has gone down, 341 00:12:39,344 --> 00:12:40,517 which sucks. 342 00:12:40,620 --> 00:12:42,724 - TIFF: We'll pass out some extra water, but, yeah-- 343 00:12:42,827 --> 00:12:43,862 - AMANDA AND TIFF: Sorry, guys! 344 00:12:43,965 --> 00:12:45,172 - I'm just saying, if John Slattery 345 00:12:45,275 --> 00:12:47,482 was our pilot-- - No, the AC has nothing 346 00:12:47,586 --> 00:12:49,482 to do them, that is the grounds crew. 347 00:12:49,586 --> 00:12:50,724 And they are probably all men. 348 00:12:50,827 --> 00:12:51,862 - Okay, I've decided. 349 00:12:51,965 --> 00:12:53,413 I'm not telling Chase. None of us are. 350 00:12:53,517 --> 00:12:54,758 That's my final answer. 351 00:12:54,862 --> 00:12:57,103 Uh, why is this necklace so heavy? 352 00:12:57,206 --> 00:12:59,379 Remind me, they need to be smaller when we sell them. 353 00:12:59,482 --> 00:13:00,827 - ♪ 354 00:13:00,931 --> 00:13:03,034 - Okay, guys, here's the next question from 355 00:13:03,137 --> 00:13:07,344 the live stream, comes from a window manufacturer named Tad. 356 00:13:07,448 --> 00:13:08,758 - Hey, listen. 357 00:13:08,862 --> 00:13:11,241 I tried to stay out of this, but your family has a secret. 358 00:13:11,344 --> 00:13:13,000 And I know what it is. 359 00:13:13,103 --> 00:13:17,413 It's shameful, and it's embarrassing. 360 00:13:17,517 --> 00:13:18,862 But it's time you guys came clean. 361 00:13:21,827 --> 00:13:24,103 You all have diarrhea. - What? 362 00:13:24,206 --> 00:13:26,448 - Yes, that's our secret. - Yes, yes. 363 00:13:26,551 --> 00:13:28,000 - Yeah, diarrhea. - Yes, I smelled it 364 00:13:28,103 --> 00:13:29,724 the second you stepped on the plane. 365 00:13:29,827 --> 00:13:32,310 I've been smelling shit this entire flight. 366 00:13:32,413 --> 00:13:34,620 - Yeah, it's nothing to do with the pig you've been holding. 367 00:13:34,724 --> 00:13:35,793 - Hmm-hmm. - No. 368 00:13:35,896 --> 00:13:37,344 - [pig squealing] - [laughing] 369 00:13:37,448 --> 00:13:40,137 - Dream family, just wanna get your take on this. 370 00:13:40,241 --> 00:13:41,965 A couple people on the live stream 371 00:13:42,068 --> 00:13:44,827 are saying that Chase's dad didn't die of cancer. 372 00:13:44,931 --> 00:13:46,379 - ♪ 373 00:13:46,482 --> 00:13:47,827 - Um... - Umm... 374 00:13:51,137 --> 00:13:53,344 - ♪ 375 00:13:53,448 --> 00:13:54,931 - Mom, we need to tell Chase now. 376 00:13:55,034 --> 00:13:57,034 Do you really want him to find out from a live stream? 377 00:13:57,137 --> 00:13:59,137 - It was probably those stupid nurses! 378 00:13:59,241 --> 00:14:00,931 Or Lisa's dumb, fat son! 379 00:14:01,034 --> 00:14:03,034 - Mom, we have tell to Shully and Streeter, too. 380 00:14:03,137 --> 00:14:04,517 They need to do damage control. 381 00:14:04,620 --> 00:14:06,655 - Why is it so hot in here? 382 00:14:06,758 --> 00:14:07,862 - SHULLY: What's going in there? 383 00:14:07,965 --> 00:14:09,206 - CARY, BROOKE, MOM: Nothing! 384 00:14:09,310 --> 00:14:10,931 - STREETER: Give 'em a sec. They have diarrhea. 385 00:14:11,034 --> 00:14:12,034 - SHULLY: They're all going together? 386 00:14:12,137 --> 00:14:13,137 - STREETER: They're all going together. 387 00:14:13,241 --> 00:14:14,896 - Do you want me to go get Chase? 388 00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:16,517 - GIRL: I need to use the bathroom! 389 00:14:16,620 --> 00:14:17,965 - CARY AND BROOKE: Use the other one! 390 00:14:18,068 --> 00:14:20,137 - GIRL: It's full, too! - Then kill yourself! 391 00:14:20,241 --> 00:14:22,034 - I can't breathe in. I really--I can't breathe. 392 00:14:22,137 --> 00:14:23,758 I can't breathe! I can't breathe! 393 00:14:23,862 --> 00:14:27,172 - ♪ Give you eyes and creatures ♪ 394 00:14:27,275 --> 00:14:31,275 ♪ My friends think I'm crazy, but I was thinking maybe ♪ 395 00:14:31,379 --> 00:14:32,448 - No! - Mom! 396 00:14:32,551 --> 00:14:33,793 - Alright, fine! Fine! 397 00:14:33,896 --> 00:14:36,172 Everyone wants to know the truth about my husband. Great! 398 00:14:36,275 --> 00:14:37,379 Here it is. 399 00:14:37,482 --> 00:14:38,689 He didn't die of cancer. 400 00:14:38,793 --> 00:14:40,172 He was a fucking alcoholic, 401 00:14:40,275 --> 00:14:42,413 and he froze to death on our roof. 402 00:14:42,517 --> 00:14:43,793 - Mom. - I wouldn't let him 403 00:14:43,896 --> 00:14:45,931 drink in front of Chase, so he climbed up to the roof, 404 00:14:46,034 --> 00:14:47,689 and he blacked out, and he froze to death. 405 00:14:47,793 --> 00:14:49,137 And I found him the next morning. 406 00:14:49,241 --> 00:14:51,448 It was one of the worst things I've seen in my entire life. 407 00:14:51,551 --> 00:14:52,931 - Mom! 408 00:14:53,034 --> 00:14:54,931 - Since everyone is so desperate to know all the details 409 00:14:55,034 --> 00:14:56,344 of our family's life, how 'bout this? 410 00:14:56,448 --> 00:14:57,965 He peed himself, too. 411 00:14:58,068 --> 00:14:59,586 And since he blacked out on his stomach, 412 00:14:59,689 --> 00:15:01,965 his dick froze to our roof. 413 00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:04,482 That's right, everybody! That's right! 414 00:15:04,586 --> 00:15:08,896 My husband died with his dick frozen to the roof! 415 00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:10,517 Lisa had to come over with the blower dryer 416 00:15:10,620 --> 00:15:11,724 and help me thaw it off. 417 00:15:11,827 --> 00:15:12,965 We had to get an extension cord. 418 00:15:13,068 --> 00:15:15,137 So there, it's all out in the... 419 00:15:15,241 --> 00:15:16,448 ♪ Open 420 00:15:16,551 --> 00:15:17,758 ♪ Let's all have a laugh 421 00:15:17,862 --> 00:15:20,137 Let's all laugh at my dead husband! 422 00:15:20,241 --> 00:15:22,241 - Mom, no one's laughing. It's okay. 423 00:15:22,344 --> 00:15:24,034 - He was the only man I ever loved. 424 00:15:24,137 --> 00:15:26,896 I did not want him to be a fucking joke. 425 00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:29,724 - Mom, nobody thinks that he's a joke. No one, okay. 426 00:15:29,827 --> 00:15:31,655 He was a good man. He was a great man. 427 00:15:31,758 --> 00:15:33,275 - I mean, not great. - Cary. 428 00:15:33,379 --> 00:15:35,413 - He was doing the best that he could. 429 00:15:35,517 --> 00:15:38,758 He was born at a certain time in a certain place, 430 00:15:38,862 --> 00:15:42,862 and the gay stuff was very, very hard for him. 431 00:15:42,965 --> 00:15:46,758 But he was doing the best that he could do. 432 00:15:46,862 --> 00:15:49,000 Do you understand? - I know. I know. 433 00:15:49,103 --> 00:15:51,689 - And this is why I didn't want Chase to know! 434 00:15:51,793 --> 00:15:54,103 You two have so many shitty memories of him, 435 00:15:54,206 --> 00:15:56,448 and I just wanted Chase to have something different. 436 00:15:56,551 --> 00:15:59,344 - I know, I--we didn't know you were this sad. 437 00:15:59,448 --> 00:16:01,448 - Yeah, we just thought that you were writing books 438 00:16:01,551 --> 00:16:03,827 and doing Molly and stuff. 439 00:16:03,931 --> 00:16:05,724 - Yeah, well, I know what you think. 440 00:16:05,827 --> 00:16:07,862 "Oh there's Mom with her dumb little book." 441 00:16:07,965 --> 00:16:10,000 I hear you laughing. - Well, that's what they do. 442 00:16:10,103 --> 00:16:11,482 They laugh at people. 443 00:16:11,586 --> 00:16:13,344 They think we're all so dumb. - [pig squealing] 444 00:16:13,448 --> 00:16:14,310 - Oh my God, shut up! 445 00:16:14,413 --> 00:16:16,241 You're not a part of this family. 446 00:16:16,344 --> 00:16:17,896 - And there it is. 447 00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:19,724 She finally admits it. 448 00:16:19,827 --> 00:16:21,172 - I would have said that months ago. 449 00:16:21,275 --> 00:16:23,172 - I just spent the last 30 years of my life 450 00:16:23,275 --> 00:16:24,310 taking care of an alcoholic. 451 00:16:24,413 --> 00:16:26,206 Am I not allowed to have a little fun? 452 00:16:26,310 --> 00:16:27,241 - No, you are. 453 00:16:27,344 --> 00:16:28,862 - You two come home for the holidays. 454 00:16:28,965 --> 00:16:30,275 You come home for the funeral. 455 00:16:30,379 --> 00:16:33,344 And you go back to New York City to your big, fancy life. 456 00:16:33,448 --> 00:16:35,862 And you leave me there. 457 00:16:35,965 --> 00:16:39,551 You leave me there. [sobs] 458 00:16:39,655 --> 00:16:42,034 - I'm sorry, Mom. 459 00:16:42,137 --> 00:16:43,482 We just want you to be happy. 460 00:16:43,586 --> 00:16:45,965 - Yeah, I mean, we like it when you write your books 461 00:16:46,068 --> 00:16:48,034 and make your necklaces. 462 00:16:48,137 --> 00:16:49,724 - I hate this stupid necklace. 463 00:16:49,827 --> 00:16:52,137 It's so big and heavy. 464 00:16:52,241 --> 00:16:54,068 And why is there no AC in here? 465 00:16:54,172 --> 00:16:56,586 - It's just these stupid dumb bitch pilots. 466 00:16:56,689 --> 00:16:57,827 - [bell dings] - AMANDA: Hey, guys! 467 00:16:57,931 --> 00:16:59,482 We're also watching the feeds up here 468 00:16:59,586 --> 00:17:01,206 and really feel for you family. 469 00:17:01,310 --> 00:17:03,896 But I think you know the AC is not on us. 470 00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:05,827 And it's this kind of girl-on-girl sexism 471 00:17:05,931 --> 00:17:07,827 that makes it harder for women everywhere. 472 00:17:07,931 --> 00:17:09,068 - AMANDA AND TIFF: Okay, byeeee! 473 00:17:15,586 --> 00:17:17,000 - I'm sorry, Chasey. 474 00:17:37,413 --> 00:17:39,758 - This might be a bad time, but I remember now. 475 00:17:39,862 --> 00:17:41,620 You did eat my butt. 476 00:17:41,724 --> 00:17:43,689 - Oh no, thank you. 477 00:17:43,793 --> 00:17:45,482 It's actually the perfect time. 478 00:17:45,586 --> 00:17:46,931 - Aw. 479 00:17:51,827 --> 00:17:53,000 - Hey. 480 00:17:53,103 --> 00:17:56,793 I think now might be a good time for Helen. 481 00:17:56,896 --> 00:17:58,724 - Yeah, fine. 482 00:17:58,827 --> 00:18:02,448 - [pig squealing] 483 00:18:05,758 --> 00:18:06,931 - [deep breath] 484 00:18:07,034 --> 00:18:09,862 - Hey, sorry we ruined the live stream or... 485 00:18:09,965 --> 00:18:11,724 - Yeah, sorry I yelled at you. 486 00:18:11,827 --> 00:18:13,137 - No, it's okay. 487 00:18:13,241 --> 00:18:16,241 You know, I know you guys think of me as a big joke. 488 00:18:16,344 --> 00:18:17,724 I see it. 489 00:18:17,827 --> 00:18:20,689 But to be honest, I know exactly where you guys are at right now. 490 00:18:20,793 --> 00:18:21,862 I really do. 491 00:18:21,965 --> 00:18:25,275 My dad, uh, froze on a bench. 492 00:18:27,758 --> 00:18:28,965 - What's that? 493 00:18:29,068 --> 00:18:32,034 - Yeah, I don't like to talk about it but, um, 494 00:18:32,137 --> 00:18:33,724 my dad was an alcoholic, too. 495 00:18:33,827 --> 00:18:38,758 And, uh, when I was 18, he went for a drink in the park, 496 00:18:38,862 --> 00:18:41,586 and he fell asleep. 497 00:18:41,689 --> 00:18:44,241 And he froze on a bench. 498 00:18:44,344 --> 00:18:45,965 [sobbing] 499 00:18:46,068 --> 00:18:50,000 - Oh my God. I mean, we had no idea. 500 00:18:50,103 --> 00:18:52,103 - My dad froze, too. 501 00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:55,724 It was before I was born. 502 00:18:55,827 --> 00:18:57,275 He drank all the time. 503 00:18:57,379 --> 00:19:01,034 And one night, he went ice fishing. 504 00:19:02,758 --> 00:19:04,689 And he froze. 505 00:19:04,793 --> 00:19:07,068 He was so cold. 506 00:19:07,172 --> 00:19:09,344 But anyway-- [sobbing] 507 00:19:09,448 --> 00:19:11,793 - Hey, hey, hey. You guys aren't gonna believe this. 508 00:19:11,896 --> 00:19:14,034 People on the live stream are all sharing stories about 509 00:19:14,137 --> 00:19:15,827 their dads freezing. Yeah. 510 00:19:15,931 --> 00:19:17,172 Hundreds of people. 511 00:19:17,275 --> 00:19:20,172 The hashtag #mydadfroze is trending across America. 512 00:19:20,275 --> 00:19:21,793 Well, mostly in the Midwest, 513 00:19:21,896 --> 00:19:24,103 and specifically Brandon, Minnesota. 514 00:19:24,206 --> 00:19:25,758 - My God, that's so sad. 515 00:19:25,862 --> 00:19:27,275 - No, this is great. 516 00:19:27,379 --> 00:19:29,034 Everyone talks about cancer. 517 00:19:29,137 --> 00:19:31,310 But no one talks about alcohol abuse 518 00:19:31,413 --> 00:19:33,275 or dicks freezing to roofs. 519 00:19:33,379 --> 00:19:38,137 But your family has brought both issues to light. 520 00:19:38,241 --> 00:19:40,862 - Oh, I guess--I guess that's good 521 00:19:40,965 --> 00:19:43,103 in, like, a weird, sick way. 522 00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:53,172 - Okay, so Chase and I had a nice talk. 523 00:19:53,275 --> 00:19:56,241 And we decided that he's gonna take a month off. 524 00:19:56,344 --> 00:19:59,758 No album press, no tours, nothing. 525 00:19:59,862 --> 00:20:01,172 And I don't care what anybody says, 526 00:20:01,275 --> 00:20:03,344 I'm his mother, and I'm putting my foot down. 527 00:20:03,448 --> 00:20:04,517 - Okay. - Great. 528 00:20:04,620 --> 00:20:05,793 - Yeah, I mean, definitely. 529 00:20:05,896 --> 00:20:06,965 - Oh my God. Okay. 530 00:20:07,068 --> 00:20:09,206 I just got the craziest email. 531 00:20:09,310 --> 00:20:11,586 They want Chase to perform at the VMAs. 532 00:20:11,689 --> 00:20:13,965 - GIRLS: [cheering] 533 00:20:14,068 --> 00:20:15,586 - Wait, like the actual VMAs? 534 00:20:15,689 --> 00:20:17,724 - Whoa, that's huge. - I know. 535 00:20:17,827 --> 00:20:18,965 This is gonna change everything. 536 00:20:19,068 --> 00:20:20,620 - Well, when are they? 537 00:20:20,724 --> 00:20:22,862 - Two weeks. 538 00:20:22,965 --> 00:20:24,344 - Uh, okay, instead of a month, 539 00:20:24,448 --> 00:20:26,655 Chase will take two weeks off, but no less. 540 00:20:26,758 --> 00:20:27,896 - I totally you hear you, 541 00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:29,241 but he needs to start rehearsals Thursday. 542 00:20:29,344 --> 00:20:30,689 - Okay, he'll take five days off. 543 00:20:30,793 --> 00:20:31,965 - And he has a fitting tomorrow. 544 00:20:32,068 --> 00:20:33,275 - He'll go to bed early tonight. 545 00:20:33,379 --> 00:20:34,965 But I mean it, no screens. I'm serious. 546 00:20:35,068 --> 00:20:36,827 Straight to bed. - Are you excited? 547 00:20:36,931 --> 00:20:38,620 - Yeah. - I know, me, too. 548 00:20:38,724 --> 00:20:42,344 Wait, what are the VMAs exactly? 549 00:20:43,896 --> 00:20:45,586 - Hey, Brooke told me about your dad. 550 00:20:45,689 --> 00:20:47,137 I'm so sorry, Streeter. 551 00:20:47,241 --> 00:20:48,344 - Oh, that was a lie. 552 00:20:48,448 --> 00:20:50,379 - What? - Yeah, my dad's alive. 553 00:20:50,482 --> 00:20:52,793 I just said he froze to help you guys out. 554 00:20:52,896 --> 00:20:54,827 You know, turn a meltdown into a movement. 555 00:20:54,931 --> 00:20:56,206 - Wow. 556 00:20:56,310 --> 00:20:58,241 Well, thank you. - Uh. 557 00:20:58,344 --> 00:21:00,413 - You are one smart man, Streeter. 558 00:21:00,517 --> 00:21:02,103 - You know what? I am really smart. 559 00:21:02,206 --> 00:21:04,482 Also, I got you this Imodium for your diarrhea. 560 00:21:04,586 --> 00:21:06,206 - Oh, thank you. 561 00:21:06,310 --> 00:21:07,448 - STREETER: Yep, I am a-- 562 00:21:07,551 --> 00:21:10,034 - [pig squeals] - STREETER: --oh, Helen, no! 563 00:21:10,137 --> 00:21:11,862 - MOM: So let me know what you think, marketplace. 564 00:21:11,965 --> 00:21:13,275 Also gonna come in a turquoise. 565 00:21:13,379 --> 00:21:15,241 And we got it in a chocolate brown. 566 00:21:15,344 --> 00:21:18,103 Also, we're thinking about expanding into fanny packs, but 567 00:21:18,206 --> 00:21:20,827 we'd call them Fanny Pass. Isn't that cute, marketplace? 568 00:21:20,931 --> 00:21:23,655 - CARY: Hey, Mom. Can I talk to you for a bathroom for a sec? 41808

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