All language subtitles for The.Other.Two.S01E07.Chase.Gets.a.Nosebleed.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-NTb_track3_[eng]

[both moaning]

- Okay, wait.

I can't.

I love my wife.
- And stop.

Listen, class.

To win awards, you must do
gay sex scenes.

But how do we know you're gay

if there's no shame
on your face?

- Oh, hey, I went in
for that new Ryan Murphy thing.

I got halfway through
my audition,

and then they cut me off.

- Why?

- They're not even
considering anyone

with under 50,000
Instagram followers.

- Eww.

- Are you going in for it?

- Yeah, on Monday.

I had to call
the casting director myself

because my dumb-ass agent
is useless.

- And let's go again.
- [moaning]

Oh, that's it.
- [moaning]

- Yeah!
- Hey...

- Oh...
- I was thinking...

- [moans]
- We should give Chase fish oil

to help build muscle.

- Oh, um, yeah.

O--okay.
- But it can thin the blood,

so we have to watch out
for nosebleeds.

- Um, can we just pause
the Chase talk

until after we're finished?

- Right, right, right.

- Hey, do you think that Chase
could tag me in something

to boost my followers?

- Um...
- [moans]

- Hey, do you think Chase
is liking

his core-strengthening
exercises?

- Um...
- And, orgasm.

- Oh, my God!
- [moans]

- Oh, my God.

- [moans]

- Oh, shit.
- [panting]

[hip-hop music]

- Well, what about
"Watch What Happens"?

Didn't you get any followers
from that?

- Yeah, but I still need
10,000 more

in the next three days

to even be considered
for the role.

- Oh, my God.

I can't believe
that's how it works now.

What's the part?

- It's a gas station attendant

who gets his ass eaten.

It's a three-episode arc.

- Is this that
Ryan Murphy miniseries

about the woman
who sues McDonalds?

- Yeah, "American Crime Story:
Hot Coffee."

It would be huge for me.

Can you just take
one more picture of me

and post it on Chase's
Instagram, please?

- Oh, my God, fine.

But this is the last one, okay?

All of his posts today
have been you.

Eww, don't smile.

[camera shutter clicks]

Oh, God, we gotta go.

- Why are we running?

- I've gotta change
Chase's phone number again,

get a bunch
of his crotches dropped,

and mail his passport
application by 2:00.

- Where is he going?
- He's going to Ottawa

for some fan meet-up,
wherever that is.

- It's the capital of Canada.
- My God.

Who cares, bitch?

I'm sorry, I'm just...

I'm so overworked.

Mom is MIA
doing God knows what.

All I ever do
is think about Chase.

Like, what about me?

I need some goddamn romance.

I was sleeping with
his trainer the other day,

and he would not shut up
about him.

Ugh.

- Well, why don't you start
by dating someone

not on Chase's team?
- I know.

I need to date somebody
not in the industry.

Just some normal,
boring guy like...

you know, like this guy,
but hot.

I am so sorry.

- Hey, um, sorry to bug you,

but are you in that
ChaseDreams video?

- Yes.

- I saw you
on "Watch What Happens"!

I love bartending for Andy.

- Oh.
Yeah, hi, I'm Cary.

I'm an actor.
- Hey, I'm Cameron.

Look, this is kind of crazy,
but I'm having a party later,

and my friends would freak
if you came.

- [laughs]
- DM me for deets.

I'm @TheCameronColby on Insta.
- Great.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- [stammers, clears throat]

- Okay, well, you're going.
- What?

Why would I go
to a stranger's party?

- Because he's one
of those Insta gays,

you know, that, like,
runs around

with no shirt on,
posting song lyrics

that have nothing to do
with the pic he's put up.

- Again, why would I go
to a stranger's party?

- So he can tag you.

He's got 1 million followers.

- I'm going
to a stranger's party.

- Mm-hmm.

- ♪ You know you can

♪ Crash at my place

[laughter]

♪ Gonna sleep over me

♪ It's a fantasy

♪ Gonna sleep over me

[cheering]

♪ Know you wanna stay

♪ Come and sleep over me

♪ It's a fantasy

- Chest exposed.
- Chest exposed.

- I like it.
- Yeah, it's...

♪

- Dude, that's so random.
- Hey!

[all gasp]

- Oh, my gosh!
You came!

You guys, look.

This is ChaseDreams's brother.

- Oh, wow.
- Oh, my gosh.

all: Hi.

- Cary, this is Colby Dallas,

Dallas Drake,
and Drake Cameron.

- Hi.
Uh, did I ruin the photo?

Should we--should we
take another one, or...

- No, it's okay.

We got a good one
right before you came.

- Great, great.

Well I will just, um,
hang out with you guys.

- Sweet!
- Perf.

- Yeah.
- Cool!

[mellow music playing]

- [clears throat]

So tell me about your job.

- Uh, you know,

I've been so work-obsessed
lately.

Why don't we talk
about your job, Tad?

- I work for
a window manufacturer.

- Oh, so you make windows.
- No, I wish.

Companies send us measurements,

and we work with the factories
that make the windows,

and we handle delivering
the windows to the sites.

♪

- Oh, um, okay. Let's see.

What's a good follow-up
question to that?

[upbeat music playing]

[cheering, laughter]

- Uh, yeah, yeah.

I guess I like breakfast.

- Yeah--thank you!
- Me too.

- That's what we're saying.
- I don't.

- Oh, my God.
- So what do you guys do?

- We're influencers.
You know, creators.

♪

- Yeah, but--
but, like, what do you do?

Uh, like, I'm an actor.
- Oh.

I do inspiration.

Colby's more, like,
lifestyle...

- Yeah.
- I'm religious, kinda.

- And I used to be fat,
but now I have two nieces.

♪

- Cool, cool.

Well, should we take a photo

to commemorate
this moment, or...

[laughter]

- You're so funny.

- A photo would
actually be hilarious,

but we just posted
a few hours ago.

- And we won't post again
until 1:00 a.m. East Coast time

so we can get
the West Coast likes

when people are
scrolling themselves to sleep.

- But--well, that's in,
like, four hours.

Won't--won't we all
be in our beds by then, or...

[laughter]

- He's killing me!

- [slurping]

- But glass actually
starts out...

as sand.

- Well, that certainly
has nothing to do

with my work,
which is what I wanted.

Oh, here's another thing
that's boring:

Ottawa is the capitol
of Canada.

- I actually have a list

of Canadian cities
that I want to visit.

- You know what, Tad?

Let's just go back
to your place.

- Oh, did you not want to...

stay and keep talking?

- Absolutely not.

- Yeah, I mean, it's crazy.

I hated social media,

but then I started doing it,
and now I don't.

You know?

- Yes, yeah, yeah.

Mm-hmm. Sorry.

I'll be right back.

- Okay.

[muffled music, chatter]

[both moaning]

[both breathing heavily]

- Hold on one second.

[ChaseDreams' "Stink" playing]

Perfect.
- [moaning]

♪

- Um--God.

Uh, this song is everywhere.

Um, do you mind
if we just listen

to something else?

ChaseDreams, he's--

he's, weirdly, my brother.

[laughs]
- I know.

That's why I swiped right.

- Eww, what?
- Look.

I know you said you don't
want to talk about work,

but since you brought it up,
what is Chase like?

I'm a huge fan.

- ♪ Take a shower

- What is the problem?

You love him, I love him.

He's an artist.
- Eww.

He's a singer.
- Look, here, here.

I want to a play a song
inspired by Chase.

- No, I mean--
- ♪ Chasing rainbows

♪ Chasing dreams

[alarm chirping]

- [gasps, groans]

Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.

- Here we go.
All right.

- All right, yeah.
- Kind of just...

[indistinct chatter]

[pop music playing]

Okay, yeah.
Um, and Dallas, just lean out

'cause you're kind of
blocking me.

Yeah, that's better.

[camera shutter clicks]

- Nailed it.
- We got it!

Great, good.
- Cary, hi.

We're just gonna
put on glasses

and get in the pool
like a bunch of idiots.

- Gosh, I actually have to go.

I have, uh, work early,
and it's getting really late.

- Oh, are you
shooting something?

- Yes, it's a very big movie.

Um, but it was very nice
to meet you guys.

all: Bye.

- He's so funny.
- [laughs]

[elevator dings]

- All right, let's see
that pic.

No!

- Well, you know, it's romantic
to be serenaded.

- It was not romantic,
and it was not a break

from thinking about Chase.
- Right.

- But I have this date tonight

with this guy
from "Rolling Stone,"

so he's not, like,
on Chase's team,

but he's in the industry enough
not to be a superfan.

Also, he's British, so.
- Accent.

- Uncut.
- Ugh, look at this.

- Oh, is this the picture
they posted?

Wait, where are you?
- Standing out of frame.

- Oh.
I'm sorry, Care.

- I know.
Now I gotta find another way

to get 10,000 followers
in two days.

- Oh, why don't you adopt
one of those ugly dogs?

You know, the ones
that look dead but aren't.

- I tried.

The shelter said those
are now the first to go.

- Oh.
- I know.

All right,
I gotta go to work.

- Bye.
- Bye.

Ugh.

- Oh, hey,
my friend Reese

went in for that
Ryan Murphy thing,

and they asked him
about followers too.

- Ugh.
- You'd love Reese.

Or, no, you'd hate him.

Reese is the one that got
in the fist-fight with my mom.

- [laughs]
- Oh, shit.

- Holy smokes!

It's Cameron, Colby,
and the Instagays!

- What?
How do you know them?

- Cary, hi!

- Hi, guys.
What's up?

- Oh, we were just
taking a photo

in front of a school
that burned down.

- I think we're gonna
caption it,

"You make me want to la-la."

both: Yeah.

- Um, how's the movie shoot
going?

- Good, good.

You know,
getting all the shots.

- Are you playing a waiter?

- Yes.
Yes, I am.

Uh, I am playing the waiter,
actually.

The movie's called
"The Waiter."

[all gasping, murmuring]

- We were just talking
about you.

- Oh.

- Do you want to come
to church tonight?

- As in...
- Church.

8:00.
Wanna come?

- Uh, s--sure.

I will go to church.
all: Yay!

- Yeah, maybe after,
we can try again

for those West Coast
sleep-scrollers.

[laughter]

- Cary, you're literally
Amy Schumer.

See you tonight.

all: Bye.

- Sorry, um, what do you guys
wear to church?

- Yeah, I've been there
four years.

- Oh, my God,
that is so cool.

I read "Rolling Stone"
all through high school.

- Did you?
- Well, no,

but I did masturbate
to the one

with Justin Timberlake
on the cover

for, like, all of 2003.
[laughs]

- Oh, the one where he's
wearing the turquoise necklace.

- Yeah.

I had to Sharpie it out
so I could come.

[both laughing]

Is it dumb to say this is fun?
- No.

I'm having fun too.

I just have to use
the restroom.

- Okay.
- And I may or may not

stalk your social media
while I'm away.

- Oh, I'm about to go deep.

[soft music playing]

Okay.

Let's see that body.

♪

Wait, where's the body?

♪

[laughs]

♪

What?

♪

"Hate myself"?

Okay.

"Tell him stop"?

Uh, excuse me?

I need another drink,
and make it a triple.

- You were drinking wine.

- Yeah, I want
a bottle of wine.

[organ music]

♪

all: Cary!

- Cary, what's up?
- Hi, hey.

Is this--is this not
a church service?

- Christ, no.
It's a photoshoot.

- Oh!
Perfect, good.

Yes.
- Okay, do you want to wear

a red Speedo
or hold your balls?

- I guess,
since we're in a church,

uh, red Speedo?
- Cool.

Colby can hold his balls.
- Mm-hmm.

- [sighs]

Hello?
- Oh, hi.

It's Dallas.
- Hey, what's wrong?

- Sometimes
I hate taking photos

with the other guys.

I'm so ugly next to them.
- What?

You're like, so hot it sucks.

If this partition wasn't here,
I'd slap you.

- [laughs]
Thanks, Cary.

You're so funny.
- Okay, everyone!

Get in position!

- I call dead center!

- Hey.
How was stalking me?

Find anything good?
- Not really.

Do you just, like...
[scoffs]

Never go to the beach?
- Is everything okay?

Your vibe feels harder.

- Actually, I was thinking

we could play
a sexy little game.

It's called, "What Musician
Do You Hate?"

- Not sure
how that's sexy, but...

I guess Maroon 5
kind of sucks.

- No, like, who would
you love to meet

so that you can
tell them "stop"?

- Um, Susan Boyle.

- [forced laughter]

You're so funny.

You love to say
mean little things,

and you get away with it
because you have

a hot accent
and an uncut dick.

- Actually, I'm cut.

I--I'm sorry, I take it back.

Maroon 5 doesn't suck?

- No, of course they suck.
That's their whole point.

I'm talking about my
little brother, ChaseDreams.

- Is everything okay here?

- No.
This man is cut,

and he likes to hurt
little boys.

- Okay, we got the timer on.

And here we go.

- Ugh, you looking at
my weird shoulder hair?

I know, I'm like
an ugly werewolf

next to these guys.
- What?

I would sacrifice
years of my life

for just one of your shoulders.

- Thanks, Cary.

You're so funny.

[camera shutter clicks]

- Um, that's a good idea.

Let's do, like, a funny one.
- Oh, yeah.

Okay, good, yeah.
- Okay, and...

- Good.

- Three, two, one...

[camera shutter clicking]

- Wait, how did you guys pose?

- Do you need me
to call the police?

What did this man do?
- Yes!

He posted mean jokes
about my brother

online six months ago.

- I can't call the police
for that.

- And then he screen-shotted
those jokes

and posted them again.

- I'll call the police.

- Oh!
Well, well, well.

Look who it is, Paul.

ChaseDreams.
- Brooke?

- Oh, my God,
what's happening?

- Exactly what you wanted.
- Hello?

- You're meeting ChaseDreams.

Tell him "stop."

- What?
How do I make it stop?

- Buddy, are you okay?

Your face looks bad.

- Oh, so his face looks bad

and his voice is bad?
[scoffs]

You've got a lot of nerve
tonight, buddy.

- Brooke, where are you?
- I'm sorry for what I posted.

He's a good singer.

- He's not a singer.
He's an artist.

- But his face
is covered in blood.

- What? [gasps]

Oh, my God, Chase.
The fish oil--okay, um--

- I need help.
- I'm coming right home.

Just tilt your head back, okay?

I hope you learned your lesson.

- I think my caption's
gonna be how Christmas

is a time for all people to
be thankful and to give back.

- Mine's either "Lucy
in the sky with diamonds"

or something
more about Christmas.

- Mine's gonna be
#ChristmasGoals.

- Aww, I love that.

- So funny you guys
are doing Christmas captions

this far from Christmas.

- Well, we're not gonna
post them now.

We're gonna post them
on Christmas.

- What?

- We look way too fat
after Thanksgiving,

so we take the Christmas pics
ahead of time.

- How are these Christmas pics?

- Church plus red Speedos.

- God damn it.

[laughter]

- He's so funny.

- So I think the takeaway
is that I need to date guys

who literally have no idea
who Chase is.

- I think the takeaway
is "no more fish oil."

- Yeah, we are off of that.

Oh, hey, did you get
all the followers you needed?

- No!

I even tried making
an ASMR video.

- One of those whisper videos?

Ain't right, ain't natural.

- Yeah, I actually
lost followers on that video,

so now I need 10,073
by tomorrow.

- Wait.

Who's this skank?

[phone vibrating]

- Oh, my God, it's Colby.

"Wanna come hike
with us, bitch?

We got an extra animal onesie."

- Eww.
- Hiking in onesies?

Do you know how many photos
they're gonna take?

Okay, I gotta go.

I think I should do something
to my hair,

'cause their hair
is always so cool.

I'm just gonna--

- Are you becoming
an Instagay?

- What? No. No.

I just want to book
this miniseries.

Okay, bye.

Good luck on all
your dates today.

- Bye.

[upbeat music]

So you've never
heard of ChaseDreams

or his music?
- Nah.

I don't know who that is.
- Perfect.

- Only music I listen to
is Phish.

Seen 'em live 712 times.

♪

- And then, like,
the whole Uber

reeked of taco salad.

I'm like, "I have to give
this guy five stars.

I feel so bad."

[all laughing]
- Great story, five stars.

But, guys, uh, right here
is very picturesque.

Could we take
a picture here, maybe?

- Cary, you're seriously
cracking me up.

[laughter]

- No, I haven't heard
of ChaseDreams or Phish.

I--I don't like music.
- Hot.

What do you like?
- Books.

Books, I love.

I love reading books,
talking about books.

- But then I was like,
instead of just telling her

the truth, I'll just
let her have it.

Like, it doesn't hurt me.
You know what I mean?

- Hey, guys, what about this?

What about this?

What a funny image, right?

Imagine scrolling past this.

Me as a hot cow.
- Oh, my God, a baby bird!

[all gasp, exclaim]

- Out here?
- Oh, my God!

all: Aww!

- So nice to meet you.

Congrats again on getting
rescued from that basement!

- You okay?

Can I get you anything?

- Yeah, you can knock me out
and wake me when I'm dead.

- Horse troubles?
- What?

No, didn't you just see

all those awful dates
I was on?

- Yeah.

Not a winner in the bunch.
- No.

I--I just started dating
because I was so consumed

with work, and then it just
ended up being more work.

- You know what my sister did?
- I don't.

- My sister was so fed up
with the dating scene

that she posted an ad
saying that she would be

wearing a red dress
standing in Madison Square Park

holding a single red rose,

and she invited
any handsome bachelor

to come by,
sweep her off her feet.

She's now been married
eight years.

- [scoffs]
Nuh-uh.

That is so dumb.

I would never do that
in a million--

- Oh, my God, yes.

- Okay.
Beautiful, right?

- Yep, so let's take
a picture.

- Huh?

- I said
let's take a picture

right here with this
beautiful...lake.

- Oh, we're just here
for the nature.

It's No-Post Sunday.

- "No-Post Sunday"?

Then why the hell
am I hanging out with you?

- Excuse me?
- Cameron, what's happening?

Cary's not being funny.

- ♪ If ever

♪ Love was real

- Are you...Brooke?

- Wow.

♪

You're gorgeous.

- So are you.

- I can't believe it.

I mean,
you knew nothing about me,

and you saw an ad
on Craigslist and--

and decided to take a chance
on a stranger

in Madison Square Park.

That's...

pathetic.

You're a loser.
I'm a loser.

I'm sorry.

I have to leave.

- I'm a loser?

- If we're not taking pictures,

what's with
these stupid onesies?

- They're comfy.

Not everything we do
is to get a picture.

- Cary, were you
just, like, using us

to leech off our followers?

- Cary, we thought you liked us

for who we are,
not our work.

- You call what you do "work"?

All you do is get naked
and post pictures

and have sex with each other!

- We don't have sex
with each other.

- What?
Why don't you?

both: We're virgins.
- And I'm straight.

- And I used to be fat
but now I have two nieces.

- That's not a thing, Drake.

Okay, that's the problem
with you guys.

You don't do anything!

I actually do something.

I act.
- Like what?

What are you in?
- I'm trying to do something,

but the way this business works
is you gotta do stupid shit

like this to even get
to that level.

So I'm gonna go over here,

and I'm gonna pose
like a little pouty cow,

and you're gonna take a picture
and fucking tag me!

Wait, are you filming?
Please don't film.

- "Do not trust
this thirsty..."

- Don't.
- "Shady bitch..."

- Cameron, no.

- "@CaryDubek."

- No, please don't post that.
Please don't.

- Sad.
- Please don't.

Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.

Wait, I just got
100 new followers.

Could you actually tweet that?

- [flat]
Oh, yeah.

- Hey...
[panting]

What should we use
instead of fish oil?

- Oh, um...

I don't know.

- I think Chase
might like flaxseed.

But then again, he might not
like flaxseed.

- Yeah, I didn't end up
getting the part,

but it was down to me
and one other guy,

which is the closet
I've ever gotten.

- Who ended up getting it?
- Frankie Grande.

- He brought someone
to eat his ass

at the audition, so...

- Sorry again that I asked
if your brother could tag me.

- It's okay.

Sorry I asked him
to tag me instead.

- No, no, he's your brother.

Use him if you got him.
- Yeah.

- Yes.

Shame, whispered apologies.

Now, that's a gay sex scene.

- Oh, thank you.
- Thanks.

- Yeah, thank you.
- Sorry, sorry.

Sorry.
- No, no, no, I'm sorry.

a great deal of heat.

1,700 degrees Celsius,

which is about
3,000 degrees Fahrenheit.

Uh, so it's not gonna get
that hot on Earth.

You won't see any beaches...
[laughs]

made of glass.

Um, it's fascinating.