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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,793 --> 00:00:08,172 [phone chimes] - Hey, cuties! 2 00:00:08,275 --> 00:00:09,413 I'm about to hit the red carpet with my manager Streeter. 3 00:00:09,517 --> 00:00:10,931 Say what's up, Streeter. - What's up! 4 00:00:11,034 --> 00:00:12,275 - Shout out to the Lord Jesus Christ 5 00:00:12,379 --> 00:00:13,793 and Sony Pictures. - And Sony Pictures. 6 00:00:13,896 --> 00:00:15,965 - For letting me and my fam come to the "When in Gnome" premiere. 7 00:00:16,068 --> 00:00:17,827 Swipe up for tics. 8 00:00:17,931 --> 00:00:19,413 - Why are we even going to this? 9 00:00:19,517 --> 00:00:21,655 - Um, because it's a hot, cool movie premiere. 10 00:00:21,758 --> 00:00:22,862 Why would we not go? 11 00:00:22,965 --> 00:00:24,275 - I just thought my first premiere 12 00:00:24,379 --> 00:00:25,931 would be for a movie that I was actually in. 13 00:00:26,034 --> 00:00:27,793 - I'm gonna get one of those red carpet pics 14 00:00:27,896 --> 00:00:30,620 with a Getty Image watermark, send it to all my Ohio friends. 15 00:00:30,724 --> 00:00:33,344 - You still talk to them? - Starting tonight, hopefully. 16 00:00:33,448 --> 00:00:35,000 - Damn it. 17 00:00:35,103 --> 00:00:36,827 I don't think I got this fart commercial. 18 00:00:36,931 --> 00:00:38,965 My agent said they were deciding today. 19 00:00:39,068 --> 00:00:42,827 - You two are very sexy people. 20 00:00:42,931 --> 00:00:44,379 [together] Thank you? 21 00:00:44,482 --> 00:00:47,379 - 200 bucks, you let me lick your foot. 22 00:00:47,482 --> 00:00:49,034 - Oh, my God. 23 00:00:49,137 --> 00:00:50,379 Absolutely. 24 00:00:50,482 --> 00:00:51,689 - Ew, Brooke, no. 25 00:00:51,793 --> 00:00:53,862 - What? It's 200 bucks. 26 00:00:53,965 --> 00:00:55,206 It's not like I have to lick a foot. 27 00:00:55,310 --> 00:00:58,275 - I meant the boy. 28 00:00:59,586 --> 00:01:01,586 - Hm? 29 00:01:01,689 --> 00:01:03,241 - [sighs] It is $200. 30 00:01:03,344 --> 00:01:05,310 [upbeat electronic music] 31 00:01:05,413 --> 00:01:06,793 - Hey, everyone, look over here. 32 00:01:06,896 --> 00:01:07,965 You're not gonna want to miss this. 33 00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:10,448 ChaseDreams, 3.2 million followers 34 00:01:10,551 --> 00:01:12,655 across all social media platforms. 35 00:01:12,758 --> 00:01:15,379 He sees you. Please, see him. 36 00:01:15,482 --> 00:01:19,482 [indistinct shouting] [camera shutters clicking] 37 00:01:19,586 --> 00:01:22,413 Let's squeeze in a little math homework real quick. 38 00:01:22,517 --> 00:01:24,689 [keys clacking] There it is, yeah, yeah... 39 00:01:24,793 --> 00:01:25,827 [phone chimes] A-plus. 40 00:01:25,931 --> 00:01:27,068 [chuckles] - Yeah. 41 00:01:31,620 --> 00:01:32,862 - Hi. 42 00:01:32,965 --> 00:01:34,724 - Oh, congratulations on your wedding. 43 00:01:34,827 --> 00:01:36,379 - Oh, no, uh, 44 00:01:36,482 --> 00:01:38,034 we're here for the premiere. 45 00:01:38,137 --> 00:01:39,724 Um, our tickets say "general admission," 46 00:01:39,827 --> 00:01:44,206 but I know that... Sharon wanted us to walk the red carpet. 47 00:01:44,310 --> 00:01:45,448 - You mean Shauna? 48 00:01:45,551 --> 00:01:47,310 - [softly] Damn, that was so close. 49 00:01:47,413 --> 00:01:49,620 - Nice try, but we can't let just anyone on the red carpet. 50 00:01:49,724 --> 00:01:53,275 - Oh, [soft groan] we're not-- we're not "just anyone." 51 00:01:53,379 --> 00:01:54,724 [soft laugh] We're the Dreamses. 52 00:01:54,827 --> 00:01:56,724 We are Brooke and Cary Dreams. 53 00:01:56,827 --> 00:01:58,620 - No, I--I'm Cary Dubek. 54 00:01:58,724 --> 00:02:00,724 I'm an actor on my own. 55 00:02:00,827 --> 00:02:03,103 I got into NYU, actually. 56 00:02:03,206 --> 00:02:05,310 I couldn't go, but I got in. 57 00:02:05,413 --> 00:02:08,103 - I'm not sure that's worth saying out loud. 58 00:02:08,206 --> 00:02:09,931 - Chase Dreams! Ashley from "Pop Goss." 59 00:02:10,034 --> 00:02:11,172 How are you? - I'm good, Ashley. 60 00:02:11,275 --> 00:02:12,965 How are you? - I'm great. 61 00:02:13,068 --> 00:02:14,655 Now, tell our readers, boxers or briefs? 62 00:02:14,758 --> 00:02:16,241 - I don't know, whatever my mom buys. 63 00:02:16,344 --> 00:02:18,000 - [soft chuckle] Aw, cute. Red or yellow? 64 00:02:18,103 --> 00:02:19,482 - Red, but yellow's tight too. 65 00:02:19,586 --> 00:02:21,517 - Awesome. Israel or Palestine? 66 00:02:21,620 --> 00:02:23,586 - Um, I think they're both dope 67 00:02:23,689 --> 00:02:25,344 and should just keep being true to themselves. 68 00:02:25,448 --> 00:02:26,551 - Yes, absolutely. - Oh... 69 00:02:26,655 --> 00:02:28,310 - The situation's very complicated. 70 00:02:28,413 --> 00:02:29,896 [distant traffic whooshes] 71 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:31,655 - Damn it. 72 00:02:31,758 --> 00:02:33,413 - Let's just go in the main entrance-- 73 00:02:33,517 --> 00:02:36,103 - Cary, we must live every day 74 00:02:36,206 --> 00:02:38,896 like it's the last day that Chase is famous. 75 00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:40,965 Ooh, I have an idea. 76 00:02:41,068 --> 00:02:43,413 Follow me. Act confident. Grab something. 77 00:02:43,517 --> 00:02:44,758 - What? 78 00:02:44,862 --> 00:02:47,275 [camera shutters clicking] 79 00:02:47,379 --> 00:02:48,689 - Hurry, hurry, hurry-hurry-hurry, hurry. 80 00:02:48,793 --> 00:02:52,068 [British accent] Ugh, another red carpet! 81 00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:55,068 - And--and I brought napkins. 82 00:02:55,172 --> 00:02:56,965 - Chase, what's your favorite thing to snack on 83 00:02:57,068 --> 00:02:58,413 when you're jamming out to music? 84 00:02:58,517 --> 00:03:00,482 - Um, I don't know. Everything's good. 85 00:03:00,586 --> 00:03:03,551 - Okay, well, we're streaming live on Bagel Bites TV. 86 00:03:03,655 --> 00:03:05,448 So can you say Bagel Bites? 87 00:03:05,551 --> 00:03:07,137 - Oh, yeah. Bagel Bites! 88 00:03:07,241 --> 00:03:09,103 - Okay, great, but can you say it in a sentence 89 00:03:09,206 --> 00:03:11,413 like, "I'm Chase Dreams and when I'm jamming out to music 90 00:03:11,517 --> 00:03:13,448 I love to eat Bagel Bites!" 91 00:03:13,551 --> 00:03:15,655 - I'm Chase Dreams and when I'm jamming out to music 92 00:03:15,758 --> 00:03:17,379 I love to eat Bagel Bites. - ...eat Bagel Bites. 93 00:03:17,482 --> 00:03:19,241 - Okay, great. Congrats on whatever it is you do. 94 00:03:19,344 --> 00:03:21,275 - Thanks. - Haley! 95 00:03:22,275 --> 00:03:23,862 - Why is everyone wearing jeans? 96 00:03:23,965 --> 00:03:25,241 I thought they were rich. 97 00:03:25,344 --> 00:03:26,482 - Oh, yeah, I think if you're rich, 98 00:03:26,586 --> 00:03:28,241 you can just wear jeans to things. 99 00:03:28,344 --> 00:03:30,344 - [sighs] I want to be rich and wear jeans to things. 100 00:03:30,448 --> 00:03:33,655 - Next. - Pick someone you look like. 101 00:03:33,758 --> 00:03:37,000 Hi. I'm Tinsley Mortimer from "The Real Housewives." 102 00:03:37,103 --> 00:03:41,517 - And I'm... Ellen DeGeneres. 103 00:03:41,620 --> 00:03:42,965 - Nice try. 104 00:03:43,068 --> 00:03:44,379 Please walk back by the bushes 105 00:03:44,482 --> 00:03:46,517 where absolutely no one will photograph you. 106 00:03:46,620 --> 00:03:48,275 Ellen. 107 00:03:48,379 --> 00:03:50,586 Right this way. 108 00:03:50,689 --> 00:03:52,275 - I'm just gonna stick with Tinsley. 109 00:03:52,379 --> 00:03:53,689 Thank you though. 110 00:03:53,793 --> 00:03:56,482 - This is bullshit. 111 00:03:56,586 --> 00:03:58,655 I can't believe Tinsley Mortimer didn't work. 112 00:03:58,758 --> 00:04:00,310 I mean, is it really that hard to believe 113 00:04:00,413 --> 00:04:01,620 that she would be here? 114 00:04:01,724 --> 00:04:03,620 That is rude to Tinsley. - [sighs] 115 00:04:03,724 --> 00:04:05,137 Why isn't my agent calling me? 116 00:04:05,241 --> 00:04:07,000 - What's his name again? Shrimp Scampi? 117 00:04:07,103 --> 00:04:08,655 - "Skip Shamplin." 118 00:04:08,758 --> 00:04:10,724 - Didn't he almost boil to death or something? 119 00:04:10,827 --> 00:04:12,620 - Yeah, he fell asleep in a hotel hot tub. 120 00:04:12,724 --> 00:04:14,517 - [snickers] - [soft laugh] 121 00:04:14,620 --> 00:04:17,379 - See, we're laughing. We're having fun. 122 00:04:17,482 --> 00:04:19,206 Tonight's gonna be great 'cause we're hot, 123 00:04:19,310 --> 00:04:21,275 we're cool, and we're killing it. 124 00:04:21,379 --> 00:04:23,034 Oh, hey, remind me, need to find a guy 125 00:04:23,137 --> 00:04:24,655 to go home with tonight 'cause I don't have a house. 126 00:04:24,758 --> 00:04:26,413 - I thought you were crashing at work? 127 00:04:26,517 --> 00:04:28,068 - I got fired because one of the bitch agents 128 00:04:28,172 --> 00:04:29,655 found my underwear in the oven. 129 00:04:29,758 --> 00:04:30,827 Chase! Hi! 130 00:04:30,931 --> 00:04:32,310 - Hey. - Hey. 131 00:04:32,413 --> 00:04:34,379 - Oh, my God, how's your first red carpet? 132 00:04:34,482 --> 00:04:35,620 - Oh, I can't believe they flew you 133 00:04:35,724 --> 00:04:37,172 all the way out here for this. 134 00:04:37,275 --> 00:04:38,586 - It was fun. Streeter's hair melted. 135 00:04:38,689 --> 00:04:40,586 both: What? - Hey-hey-hey-hey-hey. 136 00:04:40,689 --> 00:04:42,517 Hi. Streeter. Nice to meet you. 137 00:04:42,620 --> 00:04:44,482 I'm, uh, Chase Dreams' manager. 138 00:04:44,586 --> 00:04:46,827 - Yeah, no, we met last week. We had a full meal together. 139 00:04:46,931 --> 00:04:49,344 - Oh, uh, gay brother. And, uh, girl sister. 140 00:04:49,448 --> 00:04:50,931 Right--oh, you guys aren't getting married, are you? 141 00:04:51,034 --> 00:04:53,172 Because that would be bad optics for this guy right here. 142 00:04:53,275 --> 00:04:55,551 Although love is love is love is love, 143 00:04:55,655 --> 00:04:58,620 as, uh, Linda Manuel once said. 144 00:04:58,724 --> 00:05:00,620 - It's uh, "Lin-Manuel Miranda." 145 00:05:00,724 --> 00:05:02,862 - Lin-Manu-- who's Linda Manuel then? 146 00:05:02,965 --> 00:05:05,482 And why do I represent her? - Okay, buddy, let's get a pic. 147 00:05:05,586 --> 00:05:07,000 - Yeah. - Mom wanted to see our outfits. 148 00:05:07,103 --> 00:05:08,206 - Let's do it. - Yes, oh, let's get a picture! 149 00:05:08,310 --> 00:05:09,310 Okay, here you go, Casey. 150 00:05:09,413 --> 00:05:10,310 - It's "Cary." - Huh? 151 00:05:10,413 --> 00:05:11,896 Take a shot. Here we go. 152 00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:14,172 Everybody say, "Streeter's less of a manager, 153 00:05:14,275 --> 00:05:15,620 more of a friend." 154 00:05:15,724 --> 00:05:17,379 - Please make your way into the theater! 155 00:05:17,482 --> 00:05:19,379 "When in Rome" is about to begin. 156 00:05:19,482 --> 00:05:20,793 I mean, uh--uh--ooh! 157 00:05:20,896 --> 00:05:22,793 Kevin, you had one job. [soft chuckle] 158 00:05:22,896 --> 00:05:26,379 "When in Gnome" is-- is about to begin. 159 00:05:26,482 --> 00:05:28,137 - Okay, here we go. 160 00:05:28,241 --> 00:05:29,068 [playful accordion music on film] 161 00:05:29,172 --> 00:05:30,379 - Ride a Vespa? 162 00:05:30,482 --> 00:05:32,896 I guess, when in a-gnome! 163 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:34,689 [moped revving on film] 164 00:05:34,793 --> 00:05:36,724 [cartoon sound effects on film] 165 00:05:36,827 --> 00:05:39,241 [Joyeur's "Fast As You Can"] 166 00:05:39,344 --> 00:05:41,000 ♪ 167 00:05:41,103 --> 00:05:42,965 - ♪ Fast as you can run fast as you can ♪ 168 00:05:43,068 --> 00:05:45,379 ♪ Fast as you can run fast as you can ♪ 169 00:05:45,482 --> 00:05:47,896 ♪ Fast as you can run fast as you can ♪ 170 00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:50,172 ♪ Fast as you can run fast as you can! ♪ 171 00:05:50,275 --> 00:05:51,896 ♪ I know that you don't want me ♪ 172 00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:54,551 ♪ I'm gonna make you want me come-- ♪ 173 00:05:54,655 --> 00:05:56,310 [cartoon sound effects on film] 174 00:05:56,413 --> 00:05:57,758 - You want me to eat-a this entire pizza? 175 00:05:57,862 --> 00:06:01,275 [cell phone buzzing] I guess when in a-gnome! 176 00:06:01,379 --> 00:06:03,448 [cartoon sound effects on film] 177 00:06:04,413 --> 00:06:05,793 - Hey, Skip. - Cary! 178 00:06:05,896 --> 00:06:08,310 Great news. It's down to you 179 00:06:08,413 --> 00:06:10,103 and one other guy for the commerc'. 180 00:06:10,206 --> 00:06:12,068 - [soft laugh] Great! 181 00:06:12,172 --> 00:06:13,896 - The thing is, they want to make a decision by tonight. 182 00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:16,551 So they'd like you to do one more read, okay? 183 00:06:16,655 --> 00:06:18,620 They were hoping you could be a little less, uh, 184 00:06:18,724 --> 00:06:20,413 a little less colorful. 185 00:06:20,517 --> 00:06:22,931 - Yeah, uh, yeah, what do you mean by colorful? 186 00:06:23,034 --> 00:06:25,758 - Uh, just, uh, a teensy less in your face. 187 00:06:25,862 --> 00:06:27,689 - Okay. I mean, the line's just 188 00:06:27,793 --> 00:06:29,965 "Ha ha great party," and then I smell a fart. 189 00:06:30,068 --> 00:06:31,448 I-- - Listen, kid. 190 00:06:31,551 --> 00:06:33,793 You know how like, in real life, you're gay? 191 00:06:33,896 --> 00:06:36,758 - Yes. - Well, the ad guys love that. 192 00:06:36,862 --> 00:06:38,758 In fact, one of the guys wanted me to tell you 193 00:06:38,862 --> 00:06:40,724 that his brother is also gay. 194 00:06:40,827 --> 00:06:43,000 - Cool. - But the thing is 195 00:06:43,103 --> 00:06:45,379 they think that the character is straight. 196 00:06:45,482 --> 00:06:47,103 You know, because if you're gay 197 00:06:47,206 --> 00:06:49,413 and you're at a party and you smell a fart... 198 00:06:49,517 --> 00:06:51,482 - Whoo! 199 00:06:51,586 --> 00:06:53,103 - I mean, that's a lot for an audience to digest 200 00:06:53,206 --> 00:06:54,758 in 30 seconds, you know? 201 00:06:54,862 --> 00:06:56,689 Their head's going, whoa-whoa-whoa, what's going on? 202 00:06:56,793 --> 00:07:01,310 So they were hoping that you could read it straighter. 203 00:07:01,413 --> 00:07:04,172 - Um, sure, yeah. 204 00:07:04,275 --> 00:07:06,793 Yeah, yeah, I just-- I really want to get this. 205 00:07:06,896 --> 00:07:10,655 Um, I know I haven't, um, booked a lot in a while. 206 00:07:10,758 --> 00:07:13,586 I--I don't even know how you're making money off of me. 207 00:07:13,689 --> 00:07:15,482 I just... - Cary! [chuckles] 208 00:07:15,586 --> 00:07:17,896 Don't worry about me. I'm an agent. 209 00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:20,689 I'm doing fine with money. [phone beeps] 210 00:07:20,793 --> 00:07:22,862 - Hi. 85th and Columbus. 211 00:07:22,965 --> 00:07:24,724 - You got it. [engine turns over] 212 00:07:27,068 --> 00:07:29,724 [hip-hop music] 213 00:07:29,827 --> 00:07:32,517 ♪ 214 00:07:32,620 --> 00:07:35,103 - That movie was so long. 215 00:07:35,206 --> 00:07:37,000 - It was 62 minutes. 216 00:07:37,103 --> 00:07:39,344 - Exactly. Nothing should be longer than a "Gilmore Girls." 217 00:07:39,448 --> 00:07:40,793 - Mm. - Hi. Thank you. 218 00:07:40,896 --> 00:07:42,862 Can you put these under Billy Eichner? 219 00:07:42,965 --> 00:07:43,965 - Wait, he's here? 220 00:07:44,068 --> 00:07:45,862 - Oh. I'm just assuming. 221 00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:48,517 - Anyways, the movie probably felt so long 222 00:07:48,620 --> 00:07:50,206 because it was so problematic. 223 00:07:50,310 --> 00:07:52,172 - Totally. [stammers] 224 00:07:52,275 --> 00:07:53,965 But, like, how would you say it was? 225 00:07:54,068 --> 00:07:56,931 - Well, I mean, it was so racist to Italians. 226 00:07:57,034 --> 00:07:58,206 - Yeah. - Yeah. 227 00:07:58,310 --> 00:08:00,068 - Yes. I love that we both hate racism. 228 00:08:00,172 --> 00:08:02,413 - Yeah. - So... 229 00:08:02,517 --> 00:08:03,931 Tell me more about yourself. 230 00:08:04,034 --> 00:08:06,586 Like, where do you live? What kind of bed's in there? 231 00:08:06,689 --> 00:08:09,206 - Well, I have a king-sized bed. - Okay. 232 00:08:09,310 --> 00:08:10,206 - And I live in Midtown East. 233 00:08:10,310 --> 00:08:11,586 - Oh, no. 234 00:08:11,689 --> 00:08:13,482 I'm not going there. - What-what? 235 00:08:13,586 --> 00:08:16,379 [muffled dance music thumping] 236 00:08:16,482 --> 00:08:19,724 ♪ 237 00:08:19,827 --> 00:08:20,862 - [sniffs] 238 00:08:20,965 --> 00:08:22,137 [phone chimes] 239 00:08:22,241 --> 00:08:24,931 Ha ha, great party. 240 00:08:25,034 --> 00:08:25,965 [door opens] 241 00:08:26,068 --> 00:08:29,137 Huh-huh, great party. 242 00:08:31,448 --> 00:08:35,275 [deep voice] Huh-huh, great party, dude. 243 00:08:35,379 --> 00:08:37,137 - It is a great party. 244 00:08:37,241 --> 00:08:38,379 Glad you're having fun, man. 245 00:08:38,482 --> 00:08:41,517 - Oh, uh, no, no. 246 00:08:41,620 --> 00:08:44,172 I'm, uh, I'm auditioning for a commercial. 247 00:08:44,275 --> 00:08:46,517 I'm an actor, uh... 248 00:08:46,620 --> 00:08:47,793 I actually went to the same theater school 249 00:08:47,896 --> 00:08:49,344 as Patrick Wilson's cousin. 250 00:08:49,448 --> 00:08:51,482 [urinal flushes] 251 00:08:51,586 --> 00:08:55,620 But I'm in New York now, mostly doing theater. 252 00:08:55,724 --> 00:08:58,275 Or I--I want to start doing more theater. 253 00:08:58,379 --> 00:08:59,862 Um... 254 00:08:59,965 --> 00:09:00,965 [women laughing] 255 00:09:01,068 --> 00:09:02,379 [shoes squeaking] 256 00:09:02,482 --> 00:09:04,862 - Oh, my God, it's honestly so tragic. 257 00:09:04,965 --> 00:09:07,137 - I know. And in this climate? 258 00:09:07,241 --> 00:09:08,275 all: Exactly! 259 00:09:08,379 --> 00:09:09,931 - Hi, I'm Brooke. 260 00:09:10,034 --> 00:09:11,862 I was gonna wear jeans to this 'cause I'm rich, 261 00:09:11,965 --> 00:09:13,689 but I just thought that was too obvious. 262 00:09:13,793 --> 00:09:15,344 So that's why I'm in this huge gown. 263 00:09:15,448 --> 00:09:17,241 - Cool. - Totally. 264 00:09:17,344 --> 00:09:20,172 - Our friend Zita was just talking about not having a job. 265 00:09:20,275 --> 00:09:21,689 - Wait, what? 266 00:09:21,793 --> 00:09:23,206 Oh, my God, that makes me feel so much better. 267 00:09:23,310 --> 00:09:24,482 I don't have a job either. 268 00:09:24,586 --> 00:09:25,620 - Yeah, I'm kind of spinning out 269 00:09:25,724 --> 00:09:27,206 about what I'm gonna do next. 270 00:09:27,310 --> 00:09:28,827 - [exhales] - Zita, relax. 271 00:09:28,931 --> 00:09:31,206 You don't have to do anything. - Mm-mm, mm-mm. 272 00:09:31,310 --> 00:09:33,586 - Yeah, girl, this is the beauty of retirement. 273 00:09:33,689 --> 00:09:36,310 - [very soft laugh] 274 00:09:36,413 --> 00:09:37,586 - You're retired? 275 00:09:37,689 --> 00:09:38,862 - Yeah. - Of course. 276 00:09:38,965 --> 00:09:40,724 We all are. - [soft laugh] 277 00:09:40,827 --> 00:09:41,862 - You know how it goes. 278 00:09:41,965 --> 00:09:43,103 Your teens are for working. 279 00:09:43,206 --> 00:09:44,379 Your 20s are for resting. 280 00:09:44,482 --> 00:09:45,793 - Well, what are your 30s for? 281 00:09:45,896 --> 00:09:47,620 all: Making a global impact. 282 00:09:47,724 --> 00:09:50,206 - [soft laugh] Oh, shit. 283 00:09:50,310 --> 00:09:51,655 - Brooke. Thank God. 284 00:09:51,758 --> 00:09:54,275 - Here. - Oh, this party is not fun. 285 00:09:54,379 --> 00:09:56,724 - Yes, it is. I'm having fun. 286 00:09:56,827 --> 00:09:58,620 - You are? - Mm-hmm. 287 00:09:58,724 --> 00:10:01,655 Well, not like fun fun, but, you know, party fun. 288 00:10:01,758 --> 00:10:03,034 [soft laugh] - What is--what? 289 00:10:03,137 --> 00:10:04,965 - Party fun, when everybody at a party 290 00:10:05,068 --> 00:10:07,275 just agrees to perform fun at each other 291 00:10:07,379 --> 00:10:11,206 and it's the collective effort that makes it fun! 292 00:10:11,310 --> 00:10:13,862 You know, like, uh, like this little model girl. 293 00:10:13,965 --> 00:10:15,482 She's not having fun fun. 294 00:10:15,586 --> 00:10:17,655 - [soft laugh] Yes, I am. 295 00:10:17,758 --> 00:10:20,000 - Okay--yeah, but you know, 296 00:10:20,103 --> 00:10:21,620 when you're alone with your thoughts in bed tonight, 297 00:10:21,724 --> 00:10:23,586 you're not gonna look back at this party and think, 298 00:10:23,689 --> 00:10:25,241 "That was fun fun." 299 00:10:25,344 --> 00:10:26,551 - [soft laugh] Yes, I will. 300 00:10:26,655 --> 00:10:28,275 I'm having the time of my life. 301 00:10:28,379 --> 00:10:32,896 And I'll think back often to just how much fun this all was. 302 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:35,103 - Okay, well, she's a model. She doesn't know her own brain. 303 00:10:35,206 --> 00:10:37,379 - I'm not a model. I'm an EP on the film. 304 00:10:37,482 --> 00:10:38,758 - Jesus. 305 00:10:38,862 --> 00:10:41,517 - Okay, well, your movie's racist. 306 00:10:41,620 --> 00:10:43,068 [hip-hop music playing] 307 00:10:43,172 --> 00:10:46,862 - Yeah, so now I'm focusing on theater mostly. 308 00:10:46,965 --> 00:10:48,724 - Cool, um... - I think. 309 00:10:48,827 --> 00:10:51,448 - Do you know where all the celebrities are? 310 00:10:51,551 --> 00:10:54,000 I thought Tinsley Mortimer was here. 311 00:10:54,103 --> 00:10:56,689 - Oh, uh, I think she got turned away at the door. 312 00:10:56,793 --> 00:10:58,965 - Oh, I could have sworn I saw her. 313 00:10:59,068 --> 00:11:01,137 I haven't seen ChaseDreams yet either. 314 00:11:01,241 --> 00:11:03,241 I wanted a picture. 315 00:11:03,344 --> 00:11:05,137 - You did? - Mm-hmm. 316 00:11:05,241 --> 00:11:08,482 - Yeah, I mean, I haven't-- I haven't seen him in a while. 317 00:11:08,586 --> 00:11:10,724 But if I do, I'll send him your way. 318 00:11:10,827 --> 00:11:13,620 What was your name? - Brittlyn. 319 00:11:13,724 --> 00:11:15,275 And thank you. 320 00:11:15,379 --> 00:11:16,793 I love ChaseDreams. 321 00:11:16,896 --> 00:11:20,241 He's, like, the cutest boy in the whole world. 322 00:11:23,068 --> 00:11:25,482 - Cutest boy? 323 00:11:25,586 --> 00:11:27,344 - Everyone's saying I should incorporate, 324 00:11:27,448 --> 00:11:29,000 but I don't know if it's worth it. 325 00:11:29,103 --> 00:11:30,586 - I think it is, 'cause you could deduct 326 00:11:30,689 --> 00:11:31,827 all your business expenses. 327 00:11:31,931 --> 00:11:33,137 Think about every time you fly. 328 00:11:33,241 --> 00:11:35,103 - I just feel so dumb about this stuff. 329 00:11:35,206 --> 00:11:38,068 Like, should I get an LLC or an S Corp? 330 00:11:38,172 --> 00:11:40,310 What do you have? 331 00:11:40,413 --> 00:11:41,862 - Um, you know, actually-- 332 00:11:41,965 --> 00:11:44,379 I don't--I don't think-- I'd get either 333 00:11:44,482 --> 00:11:47,586 in this climate. 334 00:11:47,689 --> 00:11:49,482 - Hey, Streeter, I can't find you guys. 335 00:11:49,586 --> 00:11:52,344 Can you put Chase on? - Chase can't talk right now. 336 00:11:52,448 --> 00:11:54,241 His neck is bound. - What? 337 00:11:54,344 --> 00:11:56,793 - Yeah, I'm just trying to keep his Adam's apple under control. 338 00:11:56,896 --> 00:11:58,724 Gotta keep that neck looking young and slick. 339 00:11:58,827 --> 00:12:00,448 [chuckles] - Ew, don't do that. 340 00:12:00,551 --> 00:12:01,793 Where are you? 341 00:12:01,896 --> 00:12:03,241 - Uh, we're on a plane to Pittsburgh. 342 00:12:03,344 --> 00:12:04,551 - What? - Yeah. 343 00:12:04,655 --> 00:12:06,310 He's got a concert at 9:00. 344 00:12:06,413 --> 00:12:07,655 - How? He has one song. 345 00:12:07,758 --> 00:12:09,793 - Well, the grind never stops. 346 00:12:09,896 --> 00:12:11,551 So what are you doing, gay brother man? 347 00:12:11,655 --> 00:12:13,068 Still tearing it up at the, uh, AP? 348 00:12:13,172 --> 00:12:14,965 The after-partay? - [sighs] 349 00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:17,655 I'm sure Brooke is. She loves this kind of stuff. 350 00:12:17,758 --> 00:12:19,896 She's probably having fun around here somewhere. 351 00:12:24,310 --> 00:12:25,586 [toilet flushes] 352 00:12:25,689 --> 00:12:28,724 Well, um, this woman named Brittlyn 353 00:12:28,827 --> 00:12:31,586 wanted a photo with Chase, but I guess whatever. 354 00:12:31,689 --> 00:12:33,689 - Brittlyn? Oh, my God. 355 00:12:33,793 --> 00:12:35,103 That would have been huge for Chase. 356 00:12:35,206 --> 00:12:37,034 She's, like, the biggest 11-year-old on Instagram. 357 00:12:37,137 --> 00:12:39,827 Her makeup tutorials are, like, next level. 358 00:12:39,931 --> 00:12:42,344 - What? Brittlyn is 11? 359 00:12:42,448 --> 00:12:44,241 She looks like she's 30. 360 00:12:44,344 --> 00:12:47,034 - Yeah, I said her makeup tutorials are next level. 361 00:12:50,724 --> 00:12:53,551 - Wow, you look like a princess. 362 00:12:53,655 --> 00:12:54,931 - [soft laugh] 363 00:12:55,034 --> 00:12:56,896 I thought so too. [soft laugh] 364 00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:59,103 - You really do. - Oh, my God, girl. 365 00:12:59,206 --> 00:13:01,103 I'm so happy to see you. I swear to God, I feel like 366 00:13:01,206 --> 00:13:02,620 I'm the oldest person at this party. 367 00:13:02,724 --> 00:13:04,137 - Oh, tell me about it. 368 00:13:04,241 --> 00:13:06,517 I'm basically a dinosaur. - Yeah. 369 00:13:06,620 --> 00:13:09,275 - I just want to go home. It's, like, way past my bedtime. 370 00:13:09,379 --> 00:13:10,448 - Oh, totally. 371 00:13:10,551 --> 00:13:13,896 It's... too bad I can't go home, 372 00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:16,827 'cause I don't have one. 373 00:13:16,931 --> 00:13:19,275 - Oh, that's so sad. - It's fine. 374 00:13:19,379 --> 00:13:21,482 - Do you want to come to my house? 375 00:13:21,586 --> 00:13:23,758 - Wait, really? Like, right now? 376 00:13:23,862 --> 00:13:26,586 - Yeah, we could have a sleepover. 377 00:13:26,689 --> 00:13:28,310 - Okay! Yeah, I mean... - [laughs] 378 00:13:28,413 --> 00:13:30,620 - God, I haven't done one of those since I was 10. 379 00:13:30,724 --> 00:13:32,275 - Oh, me either. 380 00:13:32,379 --> 00:13:34,137 I just have to take a bath before we go to bed. 381 00:13:34,241 --> 00:13:36,275 - Okay, yeah. You know, do you, girl. 382 00:13:36,379 --> 00:13:39,413 - It's not even like I want to. It's like I have to. 383 00:13:46,310 --> 00:13:47,896 - Wow. 384 00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:49,655 I mean, this place is amazing. 385 00:13:49,758 --> 00:13:51,275 Is it just you? 386 00:13:51,379 --> 00:13:53,137 - No, my mom lives with me. 387 00:13:53,241 --> 00:13:56,103 But she's upstairs sleeping. She's really old. 388 00:13:56,206 --> 00:13:57,965 - Aww. That's so sweet of you. 389 00:13:58,068 --> 00:14:00,034 [soft laugh] Oh, thank you. 390 00:14:00,137 --> 00:14:02,310 I really needed another drink. [laughs] 391 00:14:02,413 --> 00:14:04,655 Mm. Wow! 392 00:14:04,758 --> 00:14:06,724 That's good. Can't even taste it. 393 00:14:06,827 --> 00:14:07,965 - [slurps] 394 00:14:08,068 --> 00:14:09,931 - Ah-- [inhales sharply] 395 00:14:10,034 --> 00:14:11,793 Uh, should I order food? - Oh, yeah. 396 00:14:11,896 --> 00:14:14,862 I just want tater tots with a side of ranch. 397 00:14:14,965 --> 00:14:18,206 - Okay, literally, that's exactly what I want. 398 00:14:18,310 --> 00:14:21,241 We are best friends. We are going camping. 399 00:14:21,344 --> 00:14:24,310 - Oh, I just went camping with my dad. 400 00:14:24,413 --> 00:14:26,517 - Oh. Just the two of you? 401 00:14:26,620 --> 00:14:28,724 - Yeah. We're super close. 402 00:14:28,827 --> 00:14:30,586 - Oh. That's cool. 403 00:14:30,689 --> 00:14:35,206 Uh--[inhales] My dad's dead. 404 00:14:35,310 --> 00:14:36,482 - He is? 405 00:14:36,586 --> 00:14:38,551 Your dad died? - Mm-hmm. 406 00:14:38,655 --> 00:14:41,448 Like, six--six months ago? 407 00:14:41,551 --> 00:14:44,206 - Oh! 408 00:14:44,310 --> 00:14:45,620 Oh, no! 409 00:14:45,724 --> 00:14:50,206 [crying] Oh, no. 410 00:14:50,310 --> 00:14:52,413 - Yeah. 411 00:14:52,517 --> 00:14:53,413 It is sad. 412 00:14:53,517 --> 00:14:55,655 - It's so sad! 413 00:14:55,758 --> 00:14:59,137 [sobbing] Your daddy's dead! 414 00:14:59,241 --> 00:15:00,827 Oh, no! 415 00:15:00,931 --> 00:15:03,310 - My daddy's dead. 416 00:15:03,413 --> 00:15:05,965 - [crying] - [crying] My daddy's dead. 417 00:15:06,068 --> 00:15:07,275 [dance music playing] 418 00:15:07,379 --> 00:15:10,137 [cell phone buzzing] 419 00:15:10,241 --> 00:15:12,034 ♪ 420 00:15:12,137 --> 00:15:13,000 - Hello? 421 00:15:13,103 --> 00:15:14,827 - Cary! Great news. 422 00:15:14,931 --> 00:15:17,172 The ad guys believed you're a fan of the puss. 423 00:15:17,275 --> 00:15:18,586 You got the part. 424 00:15:18,689 --> 00:15:21,344 - Yes. Oh, my God. 425 00:15:21,448 --> 00:15:22,827 Oh, this is so great. 426 00:15:22,931 --> 00:15:24,551 Oh, I really needed this. 427 00:15:24,655 --> 00:15:27,000 Uh, and--and thank you for dealing with this so late. 428 00:15:27,103 --> 00:15:29,586 I'm sure you're-- I'm sure you're at home by now. 429 00:15:29,689 --> 00:15:31,793 - Oh, don't worry about me. 430 00:15:31,896 --> 00:15:33,206 I'm always working. [phone beeps] 431 00:15:33,310 --> 00:15:35,793 - Hi, two bean burritos? - You got it. 432 00:15:37,931 --> 00:15:40,620 [Indian Trap's "Look Like Monayyy"] 433 00:15:40,724 --> 00:15:42,827 ♪ 434 00:15:42,931 --> 00:15:46,758 - ♪ 'Cause I look like money 435 00:15:46,862 --> 00:15:49,758 ♪ 436 00:15:49,862 --> 00:15:52,103 ♪ Lookin' like money 437 00:15:52,206 --> 00:15:53,896 ♪ Hundred dollar bills 438 00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:55,862 ♪ Got me stripping for my grill ♪ 439 00:15:55,965 --> 00:15:59,034 ♪ Yeah we look like money 440 00:15:59,137 --> 00:16:02,689 ♪ 441 00:16:02,793 --> 00:16:06,758 ♪ Lookin' like money 442 00:16:06,862 --> 00:16:08,482 ♪ 443 00:16:08,586 --> 00:16:11,448 [indistinct chatter] 444 00:16:11,551 --> 00:16:14,413 [club music playing] 445 00:16:14,517 --> 00:16:18,068 ♪ 446 00:16:18,172 --> 00:16:21,310 Wait, what? I booked the role? 447 00:16:21,413 --> 00:16:23,586 The main role? 448 00:16:23,689 --> 00:16:27,413 Wha--[laughs] Awesome. 449 00:16:27,517 --> 00:16:30,137 Cha-ching! 450 00:16:33,655 --> 00:16:35,586 Wait, wha--really? 451 00:16:35,689 --> 00:16:37,689 I booked the TV role? 452 00:16:37,793 --> 00:16:39,827 Wha--that is... 453 00:16:39,931 --> 00:16:41,241 Me, Cary Dubek? 454 00:16:41,344 --> 00:16:44,482 Who would've-- who would've thought? 455 00:16:46,896 --> 00:16:48,413 [sighs] 456 00:16:51,413 --> 00:16:53,310 - [slurping] 457 00:16:53,413 --> 00:16:55,655 I mean, at first, I thought it was gonna be fun 458 00:16:55,758 --> 00:16:58,379 to see 50 dicks, but then I got to 8, 459 00:16:58,482 --> 00:17:02,551 and I was like, "Ugh! This is exhausting!" 460 00:17:02,655 --> 00:17:04,862 Also, most dicks are gross. 461 00:17:04,965 --> 00:17:06,965 - Ew, I never ever want to see one. 462 00:17:07,068 --> 00:17:08,655 - [laughs] I mean... 463 00:17:08,758 --> 00:17:10,793 not never, but... 464 00:17:10,896 --> 00:17:13,241 - Hey, do you want to come up to my room? 465 00:17:13,344 --> 00:17:16,034 I could show you some of my toys. 466 00:17:16,137 --> 00:17:17,620 - You have toys? 467 00:17:17,724 --> 00:17:18,896 - Yeah, I have a bunch of them. 468 00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:20,827 Maybe you and I could play with them? 469 00:17:20,931 --> 00:17:22,965 - Okay. Yeah, great. 470 00:17:23,068 --> 00:17:24,034 - Kay. - You go on ahead and I'll 471 00:17:24,137 --> 00:17:25,137 just--I'll catch up with you. 472 00:17:25,241 --> 00:17:26,482 - Okay. - Okay. 473 00:17:26,586 --> 00:17:29,103 - Yeah. - [chuckles] 474 00:17:29,206 --> 00:17:31,896 [softly] Oh, my God. 475 00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:35,275 "Play with toys"? 476 00:17:35,379 --> 00:17:38,068 This woman wants to have sex with me. 477 00:17:38,172 --> 00:17:39,586 [club music playing] 478 00:17:39,689 --> 00:17:44,931 [line trilling] 479 00:17:45,034 --> 00:17:46,517 - Hey, GB! 480 00:17:46,620 --> 00:17:48,517 Chase can't talk right now. We're dying his tongue. 481 00:17:48,620 --> 00:17:50,172 - Dying his tongue? 482 00:17:50,275 --> 00:17:51,758 - Yeah, we're just trying to get it a little pinker. 483 00:17:51,862 --> 00:17:53,517 You know, girls don't like a pale tongue. 484 00:17:53,620 --> 00:17:56,034 - Well, uh, I was just calling to tell Chase 485 00:17:56,137 --> 00:17:58,655 that, um, I-- I booked that commercial. 486 00:17:58,758 --> 00:17:59,931 It's kind of a big deal. 487 00:18:00,034 --> 00:18:02,724 I think it's, like, $30,000. 488 00:18:02,827 --> 00:18:04,275 - Whoa, 30K! 489 00:18:04,379 --> 00:18:06,931 That's, like, 3 Instagrams for Chase. 490 00:18:07,034 --> 00:18:09,482 - Wait. How much does he make from-- 491 00:18:09,586 --> 00:18:10,724 [phone buzzing] 492 00:18:10,827 --> 00:18:12,793 Hold on a second. 493 00:18:12,896 --> 00:18:14,241 - Cary, I have an emergency. 494 00:18:14,344 --> 00:18:16,206 - Where are you? I'll come find you. 495 00:18:16,310 --> 00:18:17,965 - I'm in SoHo. - What? 496 00:18:18,068 --> 00:18:20,793 Why does everyone keep leaving me? 497 00:18:20,896 --> 00:18:22,448 I didn't want to come to this. 498 00:18:22,551 --> 00:18:24,344 - Okay, Cary, you know how I've always prided myself 499 00:18:24,448 --> 00:18:26,275 on probably being bisexual? 500 00:18:26,379 --> 00:18:27,862 Well, I went home with this girl Brittlyn 501 00:18:27,965 --> 00:18:29,413 who, you know, offered me a place to crash 502 00:18:29,517 --> 00:18:32,620 and now she wants to have sex and... 503 00:18:32,724 --> 00:18:34,586 I'm not into it. 504 00:18:34,689 --> 00:18:37,896 I mean, am I a straight woman? That is nothing anymore. 505 00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:39,379 - Wait, Brittlyn? 506 00:18:39,482 --> 00:18:41,965 Is she wearing so much makeup? 507 00:18:42,068 --> 00:18:43,793 - Yeah, I mean, it looks amazing. 508 00:18:43,896 --> 00:18:45,275 She should do tutorials. 509 00:18:45,379 --> 00:18:47,103 - She doesn't want to have sex with you. 510 00:18:47,206 --> 00:18:48,655 - That's rude. - [chuckles] 511 00:18:48,758 --> 00:18:51,517 She's, um, she's 11. 512 00:18:51,620 --> 00:18:53,862 You went home with an 11-year-old girl. 513 00:18:53,965 --> 00:18:56,068 [dramatic suspense music] 514 00:18:56,172 --> 00:18:58,241 - In this climate? 515 00:19:02,206 --> 00:19:03,896 - 15 minutes? 516 00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:05,379 - Oh, hey. 517 00:19:05,482 --> 00:19:08,034 Congrats on the part. - Oh. 518 00:19:08,137 --> 00:19:10,172 Thanks. How'd you know? 519 00:19:10,275 --> 00:19:11,482 - You were walking around the party, 520 00:19:11,586 --> 00:19:13,344 making a bunch of fake phone calls. 521 00:19:13,448 --> 00:19:15,793 - Oh. No, no, no, those calls-- 522 00:19:15,896 --> 00:19:17,620 those calls you were hearing, they were very real. 523 00:19:17,724 --> 00:19:19,896 Those were real people on the other line. 524 00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:21,793 - [soft laugh] It's okay, we've all done it. 525 00:19:21,896 --> 00:19:23,517 - Yeah, I actually had to 526 00:19:23,620 --> 00:19:25,862 re-tape myself in the bathroom just to get the part. 527 00:19:25,965 --> 00:19:28,137 - Ew, I hate that. I always get, like, 528 00:19:28,241 --> 00:19:30,344 "Great, but can you do it again, like, less gay?" 529 00:19:30,448 --> 00:19:32,862 It's like, "No. Fuck you. Either cast me or don't." 530 00:19:32,965 --> 00:19:35,862 - Yeah, no, uh, for me, it was-- 531 00:19:35,965 --> 00:19:38,344 they just wanted it louder. 532 00:19:38,448 --> 00:19:40,793 - Mm. Well. 533 00:19:40,896 --> 00:19:44,068 Congrats. And, uh, have a good night. 534 00:19:52,241 --> 00:19:56,034 - [yawns] Morning! 535 00:19:56,137 --> 00:20:00,000 Do I smell bacon? - No. 536 00:20:00,103 --> 00:20:02,448 - Sorry. Can I smell bacon? 537 00:20:02,551 --> 00:20:04,379 - No, but 538 00:20:04,482 --> 00:20:07,620 I did make you something even better. 539 00:20:07,724 --> 00:20:10,793 - [gasps] Oh, my God! 540 00:20:10,896 --> 00:20:13,344 Oh, Cary, the watermark looks so real. 541 00:20:13,448 --> 00:20:15,379 - I know, right? I even gave you 542 00:20:15,482 --> 00:20:16,724 a little glamour mole, 'cause I know you've always wanted one. 543 00:20:16,827 --> 00:20:20,896 - Aw, it's perfect. - [chuckles] 544 00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:23,551 - Hey, sister roomie. - [soft laugh] 545 00:20:23,655 --> 00:20:25,655 Hey! 546 00:20:28,620 --> 00:20:31,931 Okay, I'm gonna email this to all my Ohio friends. 547 00:20:32,034 --> 00:20:33,931 [clears throat] "Hey, girlies. 548 00:20:34,034 --> 00:20:36,931 "Long time, no talk. We should really hang soon. 549 00:20:37,034 --> 00:20:39,241 "Maybe camping? 550 00:20:39,344 --> 00:20:43,862 Anyway, how are you? I'm doing see attached." 551 00:20:43,965 --> 00:20:46,896 Oh, my God, they are going to be so jealous. 552 00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:49,931 It's insane. Send. 553 00:20:50,034 --> 00:20:52,241 - And so I ask you, Governor, why is it that 554 00:20:52,344 --> 00:20:54,068 five years later, the people of Flint 555 00:20:54,172 --> 00:20:55,586 still do not have clean drinking water? 556 00:20:55,689 --> 00:20:56,724 [cell phone buzzes, chimes] 557 00:20:56,827 --> 00:20:59,413 Sorry. 558 00:21:01,448 --> 00:21:05,482 I think this girl I grew up with got married at a movie premiere? 559 00:21:05,586 --> 00:21:06,965 I think she also grew a new mole. 560 00:21:07,068 --> 00:21:08,137 Anyway. 561 00:21:08,724 --> 00:21:12,275 - I actually did a lot of theater in college. 562 00:21:12,379 --> 00:21:15,137 Um, yeah, I was weirdly in a main stage 563 00:21:15,241 --> 00:21:18,137 my freshman year, which was sort of a big deal. 564 00:21:18,241 --> 00:21:20,310 Um, yeah, and this was the theater school 565 00:21:20,413 --> 00:21:22,137 where Patrick Wilson's cousin went. 566 00:21:22,241 --> 00:21:24,137 I--I didn't know him, but... 40564

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