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1
00:02:04,475 --> 00:02:09,183
Look. This is a big claim. The cops
want to nail the guy who stole it too.
2
00:02:09,267 --> 00:02:12,183
The difference is we have to make good
the 30, 000 bucks. They don't.
3
00:02:12,267 --> 00:02:14,183
To them it's another heist.
4
00:02:14,267 --> 00:02:16,975
Or, has the owner stashed it
away someplace,
5
00:02:17,017 --> 00:02:19,850
and is she trying to defraud us
out of a lot of money?
6
00:02:19,933 --> 00:02:22,517
If you have large sums
of cash around the house,
7
00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:25,975
we would insist on certain
alarm and security precautions,
8
00:02:26,017 --> 00:02:28,475
which my supervisor
would have to approve.
9
00:02:28,558 --> 00:02:32,975
What we usually do in a case like this
is handle the installation ourselves.
10
00:02:34,933 --> 00:02:38,022
Sweetheart, can I get you?
John, can I bother you for a minute?
11
00:02:38,163 --> 00:02:40,000
- I haven't had lunch yet.
- What do you want?
12
00:02:40,496 --> 00:02:44,705
Let me have a cherry cheesecake, a prune
Danish and a couple of Hershey bars.
13
00:02:44,788 --> 00:02:47,913
And I should have something sweet. Let
me have some chocolate-covered raisins.
14
00:02:47,955 --> 00:02:50,246
- I found the missing Picasso.
- I don't believe it.
15
00:02:50,330 --> 00:02:53,121
I- It's at Galaxy Opticals.
16
00:02:53,205 --> 00:02:55,163
They cut the thing out of the frame.
17
00:02:55,246 --> 00:02:57,288
They rolled the canvas up,
and it's in one of the telescopes.
18
00:02:57,323 --> 00:03:00,080
- How'd you figure it out?
- It wasn't easy.
19
00:03:00,163 --> 00:03:03,163
I'm supposed to be looking
for a picture of a woman with a guitar.
20
00:03:03,246 --> 00:03:07,413
But it's all little cubes.
It took me two hours to find the nose.
21
00:03:07,496 --> 00:03:10,621
- You should call the cops.
- Yeah, right away.
22
00:03:10,746 --> 00:03:12,788
Would you excuse me?
23
00:03:12,871 --> 00:03:16,788
Rosie, would you get me the fingerprints
on the Leland claim?
24
00:03:16,913 --> 00:03:20,246
- Who won the sixth race at Aqueduct?
- Your horse came in seventh.
25
00:03:20,371 --> 00:03:23,371
Seventh? Never bet on a horse
who has Parkinson's.
26
00:03:23,455 --> 00:03:26,413
Congratulations. I heard
you recovered the stolen Picasso.
27
00:03:26,496 --> 00:03:29,746
- Yeah, congrats on the art burglary.
- It was a breeze.
28
00:03:29,788 --> 00:03:31,788
C.W., I brought you something
till your order gets here.
29
00:03:31,830 --> 00:03:33,871
Thank you.
You want to be my date tonight?
30
00:03:33,955 --> 00:03:35,871
- What's tonight?
- George's birthday.
31
00:03:35,996 --> 00:03:38,413
- We're taking George out.
- All right. I'd love to.
32
00:03:38,496 --> 00:03:40,996
But you have to have me home
and in bed by midnight.
33
00:03:41,080 --> 00:03:43,496
That's exactly what I was planning.
34
00:03:44,996 --> 00:03:47,246
My God, that girl's got
a body that won't quit.
35
00:03:47,330 --> 00:03:50,913
Quit? It won't take
five minutes off for a coffee break.
36
00:03:50,955 --> 00:03:53,871
- Oh, Briggsie, I forgot to tell ya.
- What?
37
00:03:53,955 --> 00:03:56,371
- Hey, where are my- Rosie!
- What?
38
00:03:56,496 --> 00:03:59,580
- Where are my files? Where's my files?
- They're moved.
39
00:03:59,663 --> 00:04:01,621
- What do you mean moved?
- They're all moved.
40
00:04:01,663 --> 00:04:04,475
- Why?
- They're streamlining.
41
00:04:04,510 --> 00:04:07,288
- This is Fitzgerald?
- Who else?
42
00:04:19,246 --> 00:04:22,205
Did you take the files
out of my office?
43
00:04:22,288 --> 00:04:25,121
Would you like to go out and try
coming back in like a human being?
44
00:04:25,205 --> 00:04:29,205
- Did you move my files?
- if you don't like the human idea, come in like an orangutan.
45
00:04:29,288 --> 00:04:33,413
- That would be a step up too.
- Put them back... now- this instant.
46
00:04:33,538 --> 00:04:35,538
You knew we were
rearranging this floor.
47
00:04:35,621 --> 00:04:39,955
Take my files-
Put them back in my office now.
48
00:04:39,996 --> 00:04:42,163
You had plenty of time
to transfer them yourself.
49
00:04:42,246 --> 00:04:45,038
Fitzgerald, if you were a man,
I would slam you in the teeth.
50
00:04:45,121 --> 00:04:48,330
If I was a man,
you'd be hiding under the desk.
51
00:04:48,413 --> 00:04:52,121
- This is what you do - when I give
you an order? - Give me an order? You?
52
00:04:52,205 --> 00:04:54,496
Who do you think I am,
some peroxide little stenographer...
53
00:04:54,580 --> 00:04:57,121
with her brains in her sweater
whose rear end you pinch?
54
00:04:57,246 --> 00:04:59,663
Pinch it?
I couldn't get my arms around it.
55
00:04:59,788 --> 00:05:02,246
I don't take orders from you.
I work directly for Mr. Magruder.
56
00:05:02,330 --> 00:05:04,455
We're in the process
of turning this place around.
57
00:05:04,538 --> 00:05:08,538
I've been working here 20 years.
You're here six months.
58
00:05:08,663 --> 00:05:11,246
I'm not interested in
your ideas about turning-
59
00:05:11,330 --> 00:05:14,121
Get my files. Put 'em back now.
60
00:05:14,205 --> 00:05:16,913
- Or what?
- "Or what?"
61
00:05:16,996 --> 00:05:21,746
This is the question
you ask me? "Or what?"
62
00:05:21,830 --> 00:05:26,496
"Or what?"
Are you saying "or what" to me?
63
00:05:26,580 --> 00:05:29,538
If you don't get off my toe, you're going
to be singing castrati with a glee club.
64
00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:33,496
I... hated you, Fitzgerald, from
the day you set foot into this office.
65
00:05:33,580 --> 00:05:35,955
You'd hate any woman who doesn't have
a double-digit I. Q
66
00:05:35,996 --> 00:05:37,955
I'm a good judge of character.
67
00:05:37,996 --> 00:05:41,413
I hate you, and I hate the chancellor
of Germany...
68
00:05:41,455 --> 00:05:43,871
with the little mustache,
but not in that order.
69
00:05:43,955 --> 00:05:45,871
Be careful when you leave.
70
00:05:45,955 --> 00:05:48,246
Don't let the door hit you on the back
and fracture your pelvis.
71
00:05:49,955 --> 00:05:52,121
So, did you tell her who's boss?
72
00:05:52,205 --> 00:05:54,163
Is she kiddin',
talkin' to me like that?
73
00:05:54,246 --> 00:05:56,205
It's 'cause she thinks she's smarter.
74
00:05:56,330 --> 00:05:59,913
'Cause she graduated from Vassar,
and I went to driving school.
75
00:06:00,038 --> 00:06:03,580
Does she have any idea
how many cases I cracked here?
76
00:06:03,621 --> 00:06:05,788
Never trust a woman who
whistles for her own cabs.
77
00:06:05,871 --> 00:06:07,788
Excuse me. Miss Fitzgerald?
78
00:06:07,871 --> 00:06:10,288
- Is that Miss Fitzgerald's lunch?
- Mm-hmm.
79
00:06:10,371 --> 00:06:13,288
- Sorry we're so late. We're jammed up.
- That's okay.
80
00:06:13,330 --> 00:06:15,705
- Here. Keep that. It's for you.
- Thanks.
81
00:06:15,788 --> 00:06:18,205
This is Fitzgerald's lunch.
She's been waiting a long time for it.
82
00:06:18,246 --> 00:06:20,205
I'll deliver it to her.
83
00:06:20,288 --> 00:06:23,121
You got to come to some terms with this
woman. This thing is only gettin' worse.
84
00:06:23,156 --> 00:06:26,163
What do we need an efficiency expert
here for?
85
00:06:26,246 --> 00:06:28,663
When the old man was here,
this never could have happened.
86
00:06:28,746 --> 00:06:31,080
Thought you were gonna take her out
for a drink, clear the air.
87
00:06:31,205 --> 00:06:34,538
I did. I took her two weeks ago
to Rocky's Bar.
88
00:06:34,621 --> 00:06:37,038
You and Fitzgerald at Rocky's Bar?
89
00:06:46,788 --> 00:06:52,580
- Sorry I'm late.
- No problem. It's just an hour and 15 minutes.
90
00:06:52,663 --> 00:06:56,955
- My meeting ran long.
- I- I understand.
91
00:06:57,038 --> 00:07:00,871
We're revamping the offices, getting rid
of that antiquated filing system.
92
00:07:00,955 --> 00:07:04,913
Yes? I can find anything I need.
93
00:07:04,996 --> 00:07:08,788
I can locate it like that. I got a feel
for where all the stuffis in my office.
94
00:07:08,830 --> 00:07:12,871
We're making a central data file on the
second floor. You'll get used to it.
95
00:07:12,913 --> 00:07:15,288
What's the matter?
You look flushed.
96
00:07:15,371 --> 00:07:18,580
No, I'm just-
I'm just a little warm. That's all.
97
00:07:18,663 --> 00:07:21,121
You have all your
business meetings here?
98
00:07:21,246 --> 00:07:26,538
It's near the office. The coat check
girl's pretty. don't you like it?
99
00:07:26,621 --> 00:07:31,371
No, it's fine. Gives new meaning
to the word "dive, " but it's convenient.
100
00:07:31,413 --> 00:07:36,705
I
- I thought you'd appreciate the thick smoke. You don't have to put on as much makeup.
101
00:07:36,788 --> 00:07:39,371
- What's the lady havin'?
- Tequila.
102
00:07:45,371 --> 00:07:48,371
Betty- Betty Ann-
103
00:07:48,455 --> 00:07:51,580
Um, c-can- s-should I call you-
104
00:07:51,663 --> 00:07:55,580
I can call you Miss Fitzgerald, which is
fine with me. I have no problem with that.
105
00:07:55,705 --> 00:07:59,496
I- I-
Tell me about yourself.
106
00:07:59,580 --> 00:08:03,663
- Myself?
- Your hopes, your dreams, you know.
107
00:08:03,746 --> 00:08:06,955
You married?
I mean, obviously you're not married,
108
00:08:07,038 --> 00:08:10,955
'cause then it would not be Miss
Fitzgerald, so you have a boyfriend?
109
00:08:10,996 --> 00:08:13,330
Is this why you got me here?
110
00:08:13,371 --> 00:08:16,663
I just, um- So-
111
00:08:16,746 --> 00:08:20,288
What is your life like?
I mean, do you have any hobbies?
112
00:08:20,371 --> 00:08:24,413
- I have a meeting in 15 minutes, so-
- I-I-I-I-
113
00:08:24,455 --> 00:08:27,205
Not- I didn't mean to ask
about your marital status.
114
00:08:27,288 --> 00:08:31,080
That's none of my business. Maybe
you're- It's a touchy point with you.
115
00:08:31,121 --> 00:08:33,913
You're possibly divorced or widowed.
116
00:08:33,955 --> 00:08:37,746
Maybe your husband committed suicide.
I could understand that.
117
00:08:37,830 --> 00:08:42,330
Mr. Magruder hired me to streamline
the office, and I'm going to.
118
00:08:42,371 --> 00:08:47,121
But if something is not broken, you know
what I say? I say, why fix it?
119
00:08:47,246 --> 00:08:50,413
There's a reason North Coast has slipped
from the top five insurance companies.
120
00:08:50,496 --> 00:08:53,163
There's an enormous amount
of waste and duplication.
121
00:08:53,246 --> 00:08:55,288
Yeah, not- not in my department.
122
00:08:55,330 --> 00:08:58,413
There's not a single department that couldn't
be run more efficiently or economically.
123
00:08:58,455 --> 00:09:01,580
I'm not even sure North Coast
wouldn't be better off not carrying...
124
00:09:01,663 --> 00:09:04,788
an investigative division and just
farming out each case privately.
125
00:09:09,871 --> 00:09:14,955
Would it be possible to meet at some
point and have a drink and discuss that?
126
00:09:15,038 --> 00:09:17,788
We are having a drink.
127
00:09:17,871 --> 00:09:20,496
Look, I don't think you know
what you're talking about.
128
00:09:20,580 --> 00:09:22,955
I think you came in here
like a steamroller-
129
00:09:23,038 --> 00:09:25,996
You felt threatened by me
from the first day I got on this job.
130
00:09:26,080 --> 00:09:30,455
Not only was I an efficiency expert and a
challenge to your little state within a state,
131
00:09:30,538 --> 00:09:33,580
but I'm not one of those windup dolls
you can tickle at the water cooler.
132
00:09:33,663 --> 00:09:36,163
I'm smarter than you. I'm faster.
133
00:09:36,288 --> 00:09:39,205
I can see right through you.
You're right to feel threatened by me.
134
00:09:39,330 --> 00:09:43,621
I... am threatened by you?
135
00:09:43,705 --> 00:09:49,038
It's fascinating, as a female executive, how
many men I meet with a fragile masculinity.
136
00:09:49,121 --> 00:09:51,080
A fragile masculinity?
137
00:09:51,163 --> 00:09:54,496
You make one more crack about
my religion, and woman or no woman-
138
00:09:54,580 --> 00:09:58,955
- I have to go. - Hey, listen,
honey, - let me level with you here.
139
00:09:58,996 --> 00:10:02,621
Despite all your high falutin talk
about streamlining the office,
140
00:10:02,663 --> 00:10:06,288
what you really need is
a good old-fashioned roll in the hay.
141
00:10:06,413 --> 00:10:08,580
Ha! You wouldn't know
which end is up.
142
00:10:08,663 --> 00:10:11,621
Well, in your case,
it would be hard to tell.
143
00:10:11,663 --> 00:10:14,163
Don't bother seeing me to the door.
Someone might think we're together.
144
00:10:14,288 --> 00:10:18,246
- Why? Do I look like an organ grinder?
- No, just an organ.
145
00:10:18,638 --> 00:10:21,596
- So the drink didn't smooth things out.
- No, not exactly.
146
00:10:21,680 --> 00:10:23,721
You better get used to her,
'cause she's here to stay.
147
00:10:23,805 --> 00:10:28,013
There's something about that broad that
I don't trust. She's got an evil streak.
148
00:10:28,096 --> 00:10:31,930
We got a reservation for 8:00
at the Rainbow Room for George's 50th.
149
00:10:32,013 --> 00:10:34,013
That'll be fun.
We'll split a cab uptown.
150
00:10:34,096 --> 00:10:39,138
C.W. I'm not going to have time to go
home to change, so does this look okay?
151
00:10:39,263 --> 00:10:43,513
Sweetheart, no matter how bad
the economy gets, you will never starve.
152
00:10:43,638 --> 00:10:45,513
Good.
153
00:10:47,221 --> 00:10:51,471
Oh, wait. Come here.
Miss Fitzgerald? Okay, take a card.
154
00:10:51,513 --> 00:10:54,221
You gotta see this, Fitz.
155
00:10:54,305 --> 00:10:56,221
All right, that's a six of hearts.
156
00:10:56,346 --> 00:10:59,721
- That's amazing. How'd you do that?
- It's magic.
157
00:10:59,805 --> 00:11:03,596
- He could do it all afternoon.
- I want you to teach me.
158
00:11:03,638 --> 00:11:06,763
Mr. Magruder, I'll have that report
for you first thing in the morning.
159
00:11:06,846 --> 00:11:09,805
Fine. Are you coming to celebrate
George Bond's birthday with us tonight?
160
00:11:09,888 --> 00:11:12,055
Not really.
I'm up to my neck in work.
161
00:11:12,138 --> 00:11:14,263
Why don't you come?
It'll be fun. George is a great guy.
162
00:11:14,346 --> 00:11:16,846
Most of the personnel
here seems very nice.
163
00:11:16,888 --> 00:11:19,805
The only one that gives me
the dry heaves is Briggs.
164
00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:23,013
C.W.? He's cracked a lot of cases.
165
00:11:23,096 --> 00:11:25,721
Of course, I don't see how.
Such a drone.
166
00:11:25,805 --> 00:11:30,055
Gets his tips from street contacts
like ex-cons and blind beggars.
167
00:11:30,138 --> 00:11:32,471
There's something about him
I don't trust.
168
00:11:32,555 --> 00:11:34,638
- Any examples?
- Many.
169
00:11:34,680 --> 00:11:38,305
He's smarmy with those office wisecracks
and double-meaning jokes.
170
00:11:38,346 --> 00:11:40,346
I mean, who is he, really?
171
00:11:40,430 --> 00:11:45,430
He's this shallow, skirt
- chasing egomaniac who's probably more lucky than good.
172
00:11:45,513 --> 00:11:49,305
Sometimes it's better to be lucky.
I think you're being too rough on him.
173
00:11:49,346 --> 00:11:52,596
It's more that he's just kind of a schnook
whos more insecure than anything else.
174
00:11:52,680 --> 00:11:54,805
He's got no wife, no family.
175
00:11:54,930 --> 00:11:58,138
Well, he was married.
Short and stormy. Picked a tramp.
176
00:11:58,221 --> 00:12:00,513
- That's a surprise.
- Excuse me, fellas.
177
00:12:02,263 --> 00:12:05,305
Come tonight.
It'll give us a chance to be together,
178
00:12:05,388 --> 00:12:09,138
and I have the perfect excuse at home-
an employee's birthday.
179
00:12:09,221 --> 00:12:12,513
- How much longer is this gonna go on?
- Not longer, Betty Ann.
180
00:12:12,596 --> 00:12:15,221
I'll be free by the end of the year,
and then we can be together openly.
181
00:12:15,346 --> 00:12:19,471
You love me, but you spend
all the important holidays with her.
182
00:12:19,555 --> 00:12:22,555
Life can get so damn complicated
when you think it's simple.
183
00:12:22,638 --> 00:12:24,638
Come tonight.
184
00:12:24,680 --> 00:12:28,930
So we can eye each other and steal
touches and play little games in code?
185
00:12:29,013 --> 00:12:31,180
Yes, that's part of the romance.
186
00:12:31,263 --> 00:12:34,221
Someday we'll be able to look back
and know that at one time in public...
187
00:12:34,305 --> 00:12:37,638
when one of us brought up the subject of
Paris, it meant at that very moment...
188
00:12:37,721 --> 00:12:40,388
that we were dying to make love
with one another.
189
00:12:40,471 --> 00:12:43,930
- You're such an adolescent.
- But cute?
190
00:12:56,096 --> 00:12:59,555
- Look at this.
- Oh! Oh!
191
00:12:59,638 --> 00:13:01,763
Happy birthday, George.
192
00:13:01,846 --> 00:13:05,430
Here's to George Bond,
insurance man, father.
193
00:13:05,471 --> 00:13:09,430
- Amateur magician.
- Please, no card tricks tonight, huh?
194
00:13:09,513 --> 00:13:11,930
- Happy 50th, George.
- Thank you.
195
00:13:12,013 --> 00:13:15,388
Everyone, I'd like to make
a toast to C.W. Briggs.
196
00:13:15,471 --> 00:13:19,805
Thanks to you, the police now have
the stolen Picasso in their possession.
197
00:13:19,846 --> 00:13:21,805
- Attaboy, C.W.
- C.W.!
198
00:13:21,846 --> 00:13:24,930
By the way, where'd you come up with
the idea of looking in the telescope?
199
00:13:25,013 --> 00:13:28,971
What I do is I put myself
in the criminal's position.
200
00:13:29,096 --> 00:13:32,721
I try and anticipate what would he
do next, what his next move would be.
201
00:13:32,805 --> 00:13:36,055
- I think like him.
- That's fantastic.
202
00:13:36,138 --> 00:13:38,180
I would hate to have me after me.
203
00:13:38,305 --> 00:13:41,513
Very good, very good.
204
00:13:41,555 --> 00:13:45,013
What are you thinking, Mr. Magruder?
You look lost in reverie.
205
00:13:45,138 --> 00:13:48,221
Sorry. I was thinking about
a column I read in the paper...
206
00:13:48,305 --> 00:13:50,680
about all these Germans occupying Paris.
207
00:13:50,763 --> 00:13:53,930
- Yeah, it doesn't look good.
- C.W., you ever been to Paris?
208
00:13:54,013 --> 00:13:56,138
I've never been out of the country.
209
00:13:56,180 --> 00:14:00,346
Zero- dash-six, eight-dash-five,
210
00:14:00,471 --> 00:14:02,388
eight, five, seven.
211
00:14:02,471 --> 00:14:05,971
That's right. That's exactly correct.
212
00:14:08,388 --> 00:14:12,096
And now for something I call
the power of the Jade Scorpion.
213
00:14:12,180 --> 00:14:14,680
For this I'll need a few victims-
214
00:14:14,763 --> 00:14:18,430
I mean, volunteers from the audience
and help from a few nice people.
215
00:14:18,513 --> 00:14:21,596
- Oh, yes.
- Go on.
216
00:14:21,680 --> 00:14:23,971
- Sir?
- We got another one. C.W.!
217
00:14:24,096 --> 00:14:26,930
- Go ahead.
- We got another one forya.
218
00:14:27,055 --> 00:14:29,680
There's a sucker born every minute.
219
00:14:29,763 --> 00:14:33,721
- Represent us well, Briggs.
- Many years ago...
220
00:14:33,888 --> 00:14:39,763
an emperor in China received as a gift
this precious pendant-
221
00:14:39,846 --> 00:14:42,805
a Jade Scorpion.
222
00:14:42,846 --> 00:14:45,596
It was said to possess
extraordinary powers-
223
00:14:45,680 --> 00:14:48,430
the power to darken men's minds.
224
00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:51,680
I can't get hypnotized.
I'm not a good subject.
225
00:14:51,763 --> 00:14:53,971
Eyes only on the scorpion, please.
226
00:14:54,013 --> 00:14:56,013
Ears open only
to the sound of my voice.
227
00:14:56,096 --> 00:14:58,471
Please, sir.
Sir, look at the scorpion.
228
00:14:58,555 --> 00:15:01,930
The surrender of the mind-
229
00:15:01,971 --> 00:15:05,805
The surrender
of the mind-
230
00:15:05,888 --> 00:15:10,138
They resist and resist,
231
00:15:11,180 --> 00:15:13,930
but the scorpion likes resistance.
232
00:15:14,013 --> 00:15:17,388
What is your name, sir?
233
00:15:17,471 --> 00:15:19,471
C.W. Briggs.
234
00:15:19,596 --> 00:15:22,013
What do you do, Mr. Briggs?
235
00:15:22,096 --> 00:15:24,680
I'm an insurance investigator...
236
00:15:24,805 --> 00:15:28,930
for North Coast Casualty
and Fidelity of New York.
237
00:15:28,971 --> 00:15:32,305
- What is your name, miss?
- Betty Ann Fitzgerald.
238
00:15:32,430 --> 00:15:35,513
I also work at North Coast.
239
00:15:35,596 --> 00:15:38,555
- So you work together?
- I can't stand her.
240
00:15:38,596 --> 00:15:40,513
Oh, come now.
241
00:15:40,596 --> 00:15:42,513
Don't pay attention to him.
242
00:15:42,596 --> 00:15:46,513
He's a sleazy little megalomaniac
who's frightened of women.
243
00:15:46,596 --> 00:15:48,555
Enough. Sleep.
244
00:15:48,638 --> 00:15:50,763
Silence.
245
00:15:50,888 --> 00:15:53,138
You are now at the
first level of trance,
246
00:15:53,221 --> 00:15:57,013
but the Jade Scorpion wants you
to go to the deepest level.
247
00:15:57,096 --> 00:15:59,513
When I say the word Constantinople,
248
00:15:59,596 --> 00:16:02,680
you will instantly drop into
the deepest hypnotic trance.
249
00:16:02,763 --> 00:16:05,346
All resistance will disappear.
250
00:16:05,430 --> 00:16:07,555
When I say the word Madagascar,
251
00:16:07,638 --> 00:16:10,805
you will go immediately to
the deepest level of hypnotic sleep,
252
00:16:10,888 --> 00:16:13,555
and you will obey all my orders.
253
00:16:13,638 --> 00:16:18,055
Ready now.
Constantinople. Madagascar.
254
00:16:18,138 --> 00:16:23,055
C.W. Briggs and
Miss Betty Ann Fitzgerald,
255
00:16:23,180 --> 00:16:26,555
I now pronounce you man and wife.
256
00:16:26,638 --> 00:16:31,096
When I snap my fingers, you will awaken.
You will not know you were in a trance.
257
00:16:31,180 --> 00:16:33,888
You will be madly in love
with each other.
258
00:16:33,971 --> 00:16:37,305
You're on your honeymoon
on a deserted desert island.
259
00:16:37,388 --> 00:16:39,305
Maestro.
260
00:16:39,388 --> 00:16:42,971
The moon shines down
its magical glow...
261
00:16:43,013 --> 00:16:44,971
on you two honeymooners.
262
00:16:45,013 --> 00:16:47,096
You're deeply, deeply in love.
263
00:16:47,180 --> 00:16:50,763
Are you ready?
One, two, three.
264
00:16:50,805 --> 00:16:53,930
Awaken to your tropical paradise.
265
00:16:59,638 --> 00:17:02,513
What are you thinking?
266
00:17:02,596 --> 00:17:08,430
I'm thinking that...
I'm the luckiest man in the world...
267
00:17:08,471 --> 00:17:11,096
to have you.
268
00:17:11,180 --> 00:17:13,555
I'm the lucky one, C.W.
269
00:17:13,638 --> 00:17:18,763
I was in love with you from
the first moment that I saw you.
270
00:17:18,846 --> 00:17:23,555
Make love to me here under the stars...
271
00:17:23,680 --> 00:17:26,096
- to the sound of the ocean.
- Miss Fitzgerald.
272
00:17:26,180 --> 00:17:29,638
Arent you making a mistake?
I'm no longer Miss Fitzgerald.
273
00:17:29,680 --> 00:17:33,763
- I'm Mrs. C.W. Briggs.
- Oh! Betty Ann!
274
00:17:33,846 --> 00:17:37,096
- Make love to me here... now.
- Betty Ann.
275
00:17:37,138 --> 00:17:40,430
Stop. Enough.
276
00:17:40,513 --> 00:17:44,763
Unfortunately, every dream
must turn to reality.
277
00:17:44,846 --> 00:17:49,263
When I snap my fingers, you will awaken
and have no memory at all of this event.
278
00:17:49,305 --> 00:17:52,221
You will return to your regular lives
as they exist...
279
00:17:52,305 --> 00:17:56,388
with whatever destinies await you, and
let us all hope they are pleasant ones.
280
00:17:56,471 --> 00:17:58,763
Are you ready to awaken?
On the snap of my fingers.
281
00:17:58,846 --> 00:18:01,388
One: You're
beginning to come up.
282
00:18:01,471 --> 00:18:03,930
Two: The memory
is fading completely.
283
00:18:03,971 --> 00:18:08,971
Three: The Jade Scorpion
has created the miracle of love.
284
00:18:09,096 --> 00:18:12,471
And four: Awaken.
285
00:18:12,555 --> 00:18:15,596
- How do you feel?
- Still waiting for something to happen.
286
00:18:15,638 --> 00:18:18,013
How do you feel, miss?
287
00:18:18,096 --> 00:18:21,555
- I'm afraid I'm not a very good subject.
- No, me neither.
288
00:18:21,638 --> 00:18:25,263
- I told you this would not work.
- Well, I tried my best.
289
00:18:25,346 --> 00:18:29,096
Come on, George. Back me up.
Briggsie, I'm tellin' ya.
290
00:18:29,180 --> 00:18:31,430
You gazed deeply into her eyes
and told her you loved her.
291
00:18:31,513 --> 00:18:34,513
You're crazy.
I would never do such a thing.
292
00:18:34,596 --> 00:18:36,971
This is a conspiracy
to make me appear crazy.
293
00:18:37,055 --> 00:18:39,471
I hope somebody talks to me
like that someday.
294
00:18:39,596 --> 00:18:41,555
I can't bear Fitzgerald.
295
00:18:41,680 --> 00:18:46,596
Speaking of that, isn't it- Should we
be getting home to, uh, feed your cat?
296
00:18:46,680 --> 00:18:49,805
That would be fun,
but I'm getting a cold,
297
00:18:49,846 --> 00:18:52,680
so I just want to get to bed
with some tea, you know?
298
00:18:52,721 --> 00:18:56,430
If you've got a cold, somebody's
got to rub your chest down with Vicks.
299
00:18:56,513 --> 00:18:59,096
- This is what I'm for.
- Anybody rubs my chest down better bring a ring.
300
00:18:59,221 --> 00:19:01,180
Good for you.
301
00:19:06,388 --> 00:19:08,971
- Good night, baby.
- Good night, Chris.
302
00:19:09,013 --> 00:19:12,555
I knew we'd get a little time
alone tonight if you came along.
303
00:19:12,638 --> 00:19:14,596
I'm glad I came.
304
00:20:03,930 --> 00:20:05,846
Hello?
305
00:20:06,888 --> 00:20:09,346
Constantinople.
306
00:20:09,430 --> 00:20:12,013
You are in a deep trance.
307
00:20:12,096 --> 00:20:16,180
You will fall deeper and deeper
under the sway of my words.
308
00:20:16,305 --> 00:20:19,555
You will obey
my instructions carefully.
309
00:20:19,638 --> 00:20:22,138
You will proceed to
the Kensington estate...
310
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:27,180
where you will obtain the jewels- all
the jewels- from the Kensington safe.
311
00:20:27,221 --> 00:20:29,971
You will do this
with the utmost secrecy,
312
00:20:30,013 --> 00:20:33,763
using all the information
and techniques at your command.
313
00:20:33,805 --> 00:20:36,596
You'll do it with
great ease and facility.
314
00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:40,888
Then you will return to your apartment,
taking the jewels with you.
315
00:20:40,971 --> 00:20:44,346
You'll hide them in
a safe and secure hiding place,
316
00:20:44,430 --> 00:20:47,346
awaiting further instructions from me.
317
00:20:47,430 --> 00:20:50,930
You will then fall into a deep slumber
from which you will awake refreshed,
318
00:20:51,055 --> 00:20:54,680
and you'll have no memory
of anything that has occurred.
319
00:20:54,763 --> 00:20:57,096
You will wait to hear from me again.
320
00:20:57,138 --> 00:21:02,180
Your life will be simply as
your life is until you hear from me.
321
00:21:02,263 --> 00:21:05,388
Remember. You will obey
my instructions to the letter.
322
00:21:05,471 --> 00:21:08,888
You will remember absolutely nothing
that occurred under trance.
323
00:21:09,013 --> 00:21:11,138
Is that clear to you?
324
00:21:11,221 --> 00:21:13,180
Very clear.
325
00:21:13,221 --> 00:21:17,180
Go. The Jade Scorpion commands it.
326
00:21:34,096 --> 00:21:36,388
Awfully late, Mr. Briggs.
327
00:21:36,471 --> 00:21:38,388
Hot on a case, eh?
328
00:22:21,305 --> 00:22:23,596
The Kensington safe
was broken into last night.
329
00:22:23,638 --> 00:22:27,263
Somebody got on the estate.
Jewels worth millions, all gone.
330
00:22:27,346 --> 00:22:30,596
The cops don't have a clue,
and Magruder is numb.
331
00:22:30,638 --> 00:22:34,596
I don't understand.
I made that place burglar proof myself.
332
00:22:34,638 --> 00:22:36,721
Well, tell that to the perpetrator.
333
00:22:36,846 --> 00:22:41,138
We are on the hook for big money here,
so you better get over there darn fast.
334
00:22:41,221 --> 00:22:47,055
By now those stones could be
on the market in Tangier or- or Cairo.
335
00:22:47,138 --> 00:22:52,013
Everything, everything- My emerald tiara
and my sapphire necklace from India-
336
00:22:52,096 --> 00:22:54,763
That sapphire is the most
perfect in the world.
337
00:22:54,805 --> 00:22:57,430
No fingerprints,
but we got a partial shoe print.
338
00:22:57,513 --> 00:22:59,721
- Man or woman?
- I really can't be sure.
339
00:22:59,805 --> 00:23:02,721
I want to interview everybody
that works here- the whole staff-
340
00:23:02,805 --> 00:23:05,138
the butlers, the gardeners, everybody.
341
00:23:05,221 --> 00:23:09,096
- Something's goin' on.
- This time I think your gut reaction is betraying you.
342
00:23:09,180 --> 00:23:12,138
Nobody in this house is involved.
I'd bet my life.
343
00:23:12,221 --> 00:23:14,888
I want to search the up-
I want to go up- Can I go upstairs?
344
00:23:14,971 --> 00:23:17,263
If you must,
but would you make it fast?
345
00:23:17,346 --> 00:23:19,305
We've had enough excitement
for one day.
346
00:23:19,388 --> 00:23:23,013
Mrs. Kensington, you know
Alfie and I would never-
347
00:23:23,096 --> 00:23:25,263
Lotte, of course not.
348
00:23:36,096 --> 00:23:39,555
What are you doin'
in my mother's closet?
349
00:23:39,638 --> 00:23:41,555
Well, hello.
350
00:23:43,471 --> 00:23:47,638
You're one of those grubby little
private detectives, arent you?
351
00:23:47,721 --> 00:23:52,596
A private eye, they're called,
a shamus, a gumshoe.
352
00:23:52,638 --> 00:23:56,263
Oh, I'm- I'm a grubby little
insurance investigator.
353
00:23:56,346 --> 00:23:59,763
The private eyes are romantic.
I- I-I'm just grubby.
354
00:23:59,846 --> 00:24:02,805
So what? You always get your kicks
fondling women's shoes?
355
00:24:02,846 --> 00:24:05,305
Once in a while I'll fondle
the whole woman, you know-
356
00:24:05,388 --> 00:24:08,805
Hmph. You have a fresh mouth.
I'm not sure I like you.
357
00:24:08,846 --> 00:24:14,096
Well, I tend to grow on people. We could meet
later, and I could grow on you, if you like.
358
00:24:14,180 --> 00:24:16,930
You don't seem tough enough
to go after criminals.
359
00:24:17,013 --> 00:24:19,930
Really? Maybe if I slapped you around
a little bit, you'd change your mind.
360
00:24:20,013 --> 00:24:24,596
- I could slap you back.
- It's starting to sound like fun. Should we put some music on?
361
00:24:24,638 --> 00:24:29,055
- Why are you snooping around?
- You're Laura Kensington, right?
362
00:24:29,138 --> 00:24:34,180
Yeah, that's right, and I have a
strawberry mark on my thigh to prove it.
363
00:24:34,263 --> 00:24:38,263
- Would you like to see it?
- Maybe later when I can take the full tour.
364
00:24:38,346 --> 00:24:41,805
Huh. My fiancé
might not appreciate that.
365
00:24:41,846 --> 00:24:46,096
- Yes? Which one?
- Oh, so you follow my life.
366
00:24:46,138 --> 00:24:48,638
Well, I read the tabloids,
if that's what you mean.
367
00:24:48,680 --> 00:24:51,638
So you've seen photos of me
diving into public fountains.
368
00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:56,305
And getting arrested for speeding
and throwing champagne at El Morocco.
369
00:24:56,346 --> 00:25:01,263
And while I'm out living the fast life, you're
hard at work snooping in people's closets.
370
00:25:01,346 --> 00:25:03,805
Can I help it if they
pay me by the clue?
371
00:25:03,888 --> 00:25:08,763
- Did the burglar leave any?
- He didn't leave any because he's still among us.
372
00:25:08,805 --> 00:25:13,471
- Says who?
- Says the little man that lives inside me.
373
00:25:13,596 --> 00:25:16,930
So you're C.W. Briggs.
374
00:25:17,013 --> 00:25:20,930
I hear youre a very sharp investigator
with an impressive record.
375
00:25:21,013 --> 00:25:22,971
I looked forward to meeting you.
376
00:25:23,055 --> 00:25:27,596
- They say I always get my man.
- Me too.
377
00:25:27,680 --> 00:25:30,471
Right.
378
00:25:30,513 --> 00:25:34,388
I'm glad we could
have this little chat.
379
00:25:34,471 --> 00:25:37,888
- Too bad there's a houseful of people.
- Where shall we go tonight?
380
00:25:37,971 --> 00:25:41,180
Hmm? Chinatown or Harlem?
381
00:25:41,263 --> 00:25:44,221
You prefer jazz or opium?
382
00:25:44,305 --> 00:25:47,596
I prefer the rug
in front of my fireplace.
383
00:25:47,680 --> 00:25:51,971
Oh, directly to your apartment, eh?
You always begin with the dessert?
384
00:25:52,055 --> 00:25:55,263
Well, depends what I'm eating.
385
00:25:55,346 --> 00:26:00,180
This will be a very interesting
experiment for me.
386
00:26:00,263 --> 00:26:04,763
I usually prefer more attractive,
athletic, muscular men.
387
00:26:04,846 --> 00:26:08,721
Maybe I could get in a few
push- ups before you came over.
388
00:26:08,805 --> 00:26:11,555
I-
What about your fiancé?
389
00:26:11,638 --> 00:26:15,305
If you don't invite him, I won't.
390
00:26:21,346 --> 00:26:24,305
- Any leads?
- It's an inside job. No question about it.
391
00:26:24,346 --> 00:26:27,471
- That's not what the cops say.
- They're wrong. It's inside. I can tell.
392
00:26:27,555 --> 00:26:29,680
- Are the Giants playing this afternoon?
- Yeah.
393
00:26:29,763 --> 00:26:32,430
They're playing
the Cardinals in St. Louis.
394
00:26:32,471 --> 00:26:36,388
Call my bookmaker Frankie. I want to get
a bet down. Hundred bucks on the Giants.
395
00:26:36,471 --> 00:26:38,638
- On the Giants to win.
- To win, naturally!
396
00:26:38,763 --> 00:26:40,721
What do you think, to place?
397
00:26:40,846 --> 00:26:43,930
Mr. Magruder? Oh, tilt.
398
00:26:43,971 --> 00:26:46,471
- Anything on the Kensington situation?
- It's an inside job.
399
00:26:46,596 --> 00:26:50,596
- I bet my life on it.
- You bet your life on the Giants, too, and they're in sixth place.
400
00:26:50,680 --> 00:26:52,763
Can we talk without
the warden being here?
401
00:26:52,846 --> 00:26:55,555
Please, Miss Fitzgerald
is a part of this company now.
402
00:26:55,638 --> 00:26:58,305
We must all learn to
work together in harmony.
403
00:26:58,388 --> 00:27:00,805
What makes you so positive
it's an inside job?
404
00:27:00,888 --> 00:27:03,596
It couldn't be that smooth
unless it was inside.
405
00:27:03,680 --> 00:27:06,430
Miss Fitzgerald is suggesting,
given the magnitude of the loss,
406
00:27:06,471 --> 00:27:08,763
that we expand our investigation.
407
00:27:08,805 --> 00:27:12,971
- Meaning what?
- I appreciate the value of intuition to a point.
408
00:27:13,055 --> 00:27:15,971
But we're moving into a decade
of scientific innovation.
409
00:27:16,055 --> 00:27:20,138
Miss Fitzgerald has suggested that
perhaps we might get you a little help...
410
00:27:20,221 --> 00:27:23,763
by farming out part of the work
to an outside private detective agency.
411
00:27:23,846 --> 00:27:27,055
- What?
- To help you- test the waters-
412
00:27:27,138 --> 00:27:30,055
see if a new approach
and fresh techniques make a difference.
413
00:27:30,138 --> 00:27:32,055
Don't feel threatened immediately.
414
00:27:32,138 --> 00:27:34,888
According to you, I'm only threatened
by women with high I. Qs.
415
00:27:34,971 --> 00:27:36,888
Did you hire a female detective?
416
00:27:36,971 --> 00:27:39,596
North Coast has got to get
with the progress of the marketplace.
417
00:27:39,638 --> 00:27:41,721
There's a lot of money at stake here.
418
00:27:41,805 --> 00:27:44,013
The more time passes, the colder
the trail grows. You know that.
419
00:27:44,138 --> 00:27:47,430
So if the Coopersmith Private Detective
Agency makes a contribution, then fine.
420
00:27:47,513 --> 00:27:49,513
If not, we're only out a few bucks.
421
00:27:49,596 --> 00:27:52,471
The Coopersmiths?
Those guys are like Fric and Frac.
422
00:27:52,555 --> 00:27:56,180
- They're sub-mental. - We are
moving into a new decade, the 1940s.
423
00:27:56,263 --> 00:27:58,221
That means things are different.
424
00:27:58,305 --> 00:28:01,346
Do me a favor. Max Baer's
looking for sparring partners.
425
00:28:01,471 --> 00:28:03,430
Why don't you go down to the gym?
426
00:28:03,513 --> 00:28:06,055
You're the only person I've received
this kind of bitter resistance from.
427
00:28:06,180 --> 00:28:11,471
You're a dinosaur with your street ways
and disorganized hunt-and-peck methods.
428
00:28:11,555 --> 00:28:14,638
Please. My father
always stressed harmony.
429
00:28:14,680 --> 00:28:17,346
I gotta go.
I'm working on a case.
430
00:28:21,055 --> 00:28:23,555
Watch out for the traffic.
431
00:28:23,638 --> 00:28:27,763
Don't get hit by a bus,
your body mangled beyond recognition.
432
00:28:27,846 --> 00:28:31,513
I ain't heard a word about any job.
433
00:28:31,638 --> 00:28:35,180
Nobody tried to fence anything
or do any braggin'.
434
00:28:35,305 --> 00:28:39,263
Charlie, you gotta help me with this.
Keep your ears open.
435
00:28:39,346 --> 00:28:43,971
Anything you hear, I gotta know.
It's very important, okay?
436
00:28:44,055 --> 00:28:47,055
Fifty? You must be desperate.
437
00:28:47,138 --> 00:28:52,763
You know where to reach me. Keep eating
the carrots. I think they're workin'.
438
00:28:58,305 --> 00:29:00,805
I think Joe said they're
all gone up there, Mr. Briggs.
439
00:29:00,888 --> 00:29:04,430
I'm just gonna check something out.
I'll be down in five minutes.
440
00:29:16,430 --> 00:29:19,180
You startled me.
I was working late.
441
00:29:19,263 --> 00:29:22,930
Oh, 'cause Eddie said he didn't
think anybody was up here.
442
00:29:22,971 --> 00:29:28,055
Well, I'm here.
Obviously I'm here.
443
00:29:28,138 --> 00:29:31,513
- What Are you so nervous-
- I'm not nervous.
444
00:29:31,596 --> 00:29:36,763
Why would I be nervous? Working up here
alone, I didn't expect to see you.
445
00:29:36,888 --> 00:29:41,096
Don't you work late all the time?
That's what they tell me.
446
00:29:41,180 --> 00:29:43,471
What is this, 20 questions?
You scared me.
447
00:29:43,555 --> 00:29:46,680
I'm working up here alone.
I'm filling out some reports.
448
00:29:46,763 --> 00:29:50,263
What are you gonna do, ask Magruder
to take out all the water coolers?
449
00:29:50,305 --> 00:29:53,180
Why don't you make your wisecracks
somewhere else? I'm busy.
450
00:29:53,263 --> 00:29:56,430
I'm outta here.
You know, I-I- Don't work too late,
451
00:29:56,513 --> 00:29:59,013
'cause the bags under
your eyes are getting bigger.
452
00:29:59,055 --> 00:30:02,221
Have a good evening, and if you find you're
going to have a sudden coronary thrombosis,
453
00:30:02,305 --> 00:30:05,471
you should probably drive
directly to the hospital.
454
00:30:09,763 --> 00:30:12,805
You were right.
We shouldn't fool around at the office.
455
00:30:12,930 --> 00:30:16,805
- He gives me the willies.
- He's a harmless sort.
456
00:30:40,263 --> 00:30:44,930
- Hey. How'd you get in?
- It wasn't very hard.
457
00:30:45,055 --> 00:30:47,305
Really? What'd you do, have
your father buy the building?
458
00:30:47,388 --> 00:30:50,388
A small tip to the super
was all it took.
459
00:30:50,555 --> 00:30:54,388
For you maybe. I give the super
a small tip, he spits on my shoes.
460
00:30:54,471 --> 00:30:59,388
I brought some very expensive
Russian vodka, 120 proof.
461
00:30:59,471 --> 00:31:02,430
Don't drop that, you know.
You're liable to blow up the building.
462
00:31:02,471 --> 00:31:07,221
I got bored waiting. There's nothing to read
but detective magazines and the racing form.
463
00:31:07,305 --> 00:31:10,763
I got a deck of playing cards with naked
women on them. You could've, you know-
464
00:31:10,846 --> 00:31:14,888
Let me guess.
You use it to play solitaire.
465
00:31:15,013 --> 00:31:17,430
I used to date the six of spades.
466
00:31:17,471 --> 00:31:19,638
I love where you live.
467
00:31:19,805 --> 00:31:23,721
It's just what I thought it would be-
a grimy little rat hole.
468
00:31:23,805 --> 00:31:26,180
Oh, thank you.
I'll tell my decorator you said that.
469
00:31:26,263 --> 00:31:28,513
It's the effect we were going for.
470
00:31:28,596 --> 00:31:31,263
You dying to see my,
uh, strawberry mark?
471
00:31:31,305 --> 00:31:34,513
If it's in the same spot it was this
afternoon, I'd like to check it out.
472
00:31:34,596 --> 00:31:36,471
This is truly a novelty for me.
473
00:31:36,555 --> 00:31:39,638
I'm used to pent houses and yachts-
474
00:31:39,721 --> 00:31:43,346
gorgeous European lovers who buy me
presents and sweep me off my feet.
475
00:31:43,430 --> 00:31:47,346
And yet, somehow, I find it strangely
exciting standing here...
476
00:31:47,471 --> 00:31:52,388
in a grungy hovel
with a myopic insurance clerk.
477
00:31:52,513 --> 00:31:57,180
I know there's a compliment in there.
I just don't know where it is.
478
00:31:57,263 --> 00:32:00,263
You gonna take that coat off?
479
00:32:00,346 --> 00:32:03,763
It hasn't rained in
this apartment in 20 years.
480
00:32:07,138 --> 00:32:11,055
Oh, well.
481
00:32:11,138 --> 00:32:13,471
What do you think?
482
00:32:13,555 --> 00:32:17,055
If I happen to pass away
while we're doing anything,
483
00:32:17,138 --> 00:32:21,346
just have the embalmer
leave the smile on my face.
484
00:32:21,471 --> 00:32:25,096
Perfect timing.
485
00:32:25,180 --> 00:32:28,471
I'll slip into something a little more
comfortable, wait for you in bed.
486
00:32:28,555 --> 00:32:33,221
More comfortable than that? What are
you going to put on, Jergens lotion?
487
00:32:33,305 --> 00:32:37,430
- Hello?
- Constantinople.
488
00:32:37,513 --> 00:32:40,805
You are in the power
of the Jade Scorpion.
489
00:32:40,888 --> 00:32:44,221
You will proceed to
the Dill worth mansion.
490
00:32:44,305 --> 00:32:48,138
You will enter and open the safe.
491
00:32:52,680 --> 00:32:56,680
Have you ever heard of an Indian book
called the Kama Sutra?
492
00:32:56,805 --> 00:33:01,346
I'm sorry, Laura, but we're going to
have to postpone our little rendezvous.
493
00:33:01,471 --> 00:33:04,721
- Pardon me?
- I just recalled a previous engagement.
494
00:33:04,805 --> 00:33:08,263
I hope you don't mind.
The doorman will get you a taxi.
495
00:33:08,305 --> 00:33:13,180
- I had a wonderful evening. Thank you very much.
- You are jokin', of course.
496
00:33:13,263 --> 00:33:16,846
I'll turn around and you can get
dressed, and please try and hurry.
497
00:33:16,930 --> 00:33:21,096
- I'm rather pressed for time.
- Have you got a loose screw?
498
00:33:21,138 --> 00:33:23,971
Tonight was very meaningful to me.
Really.
499
00:33:24,055 --> 00:33:26,346
I'll always think of it
in a very cherished way.
500
00:33:26,430 --> 00:33:29,596
If you're in the neighborhood again,
drop in.
501
00:33:29,680 --> 00:33:31,805
What's come over you?
502
00:33:31,930 --> 00:33:34,888
Should you want any peanuts
to snack on on the way home,
503
00:33:34,971 --> 00:33:38,263
I think I have a whole dish
of them in the other room.
504
00:33:38,346 --> 00:33:40,763
You hate women, don't you?
505
00:33:40,805 --> 00:33:44,430
Not at all. Actually,
they're a splendid gender.
506
00:33:44,471 --> 00:33:47,180
Really. A very pleasant variation.
507
00:33:47,263 --> 00:33:49,430
I should have known.
I should have known.
508
00:33:49,471 --> 00:33:53,513
A mousy little clerk like you, just
chasing your entire life after criminals.
509
00:33:53,596 --> 00:33:56,555
- I should have known.
- No, Laura, don't be cross.
510
00:33:56,638 --> 00:34:00,138
Do drop in again in the springtime.
The oleander will be in bloom.
511
00:34:00,221 --> 00:34:03,180
I'm going! I'm getting out!
512
00:34:03,263 --> 00:34:06,888
I'm not used to getting kicked out of a
man's bed, but it could have been worse.
513
00:34:06,971 --> 00:34:08,971
You're very sick, you know?
514
00:34:09,013 --> 00:34:11,930
Thanking you in advance
for understanding, Laura.
515
00:34:12,013 --> 00:34:14,930
God bless you.
You have a splendidly shaped buttocks.
516
00:34:15,013 --> 00:34:18,596
- Mamma mia.
- God bless you, Laura.
517
00:34:57,752 --> 00:35:00,752
I can't believe it.
It's identical.
518
00:35:00,835 --> 00:35:04,085
You think somebody from the Kensington
household came over and pulled this one too?
519
00:35:04,169 --> 00:35:07,835
We did the security here.
We made the place fool proof.
520
00:35:07,919 --> 00:35:09,835
Somebody's a step ahead of ya.
521
00:35:09,919 --> 00:35:12,669
I want to speak to the Dillworths.
I want to question them.
522
00:35:12,752 --> 00:35:15,710
The Coopersmith detectives
have been grilling them all morning.
523
00:35:15,835 --> 00:35:18,169
Geez. You mean-
I can't believe it.
524
00:35:18,294 --> 00:35:21,419
She convinced Magruder
to put the Coopersmiths on.
525
00:35:21,460 --> 00:35:24,669
We need all the help
we can get on this case.
526
00:35:27,919 --> 00:35:30,294
What's happenin', fellas?
You want to talk to me?
527
00:35:30,377 --> 00:35:33,127
Hey, C.W.
We're in on this one now.
528
00:35:33,169 --> 00:35:36,335
Yeah? Well, this is my case,
just so you're clear on that.
529
00:35:36,419 --> 00:35:38,669
Will you listen to him?
Like we horned in.
530
00:35:38,794 --> 00:35:41,544
- Hey, they called us.
- That was their first mistake.
531
00:35:41,669 --> 00:35:43,627
Maybe they think you're slippin'.
532
00:35:43,710 --> 00:35:46,835
- You know my brother Joe?
- The one that died at birth?
533
00:35:46,919 --> 00:35:49,002
I hear you're havin'
a little trouble.
534
00:35:49,127 --> 00:35:51,752
- So you guys get any clues?
- A few.
535
00:35:51,835 --> 00:35:54,752
Yeah? What?
Wanna share them with me?
536
00:35:54,835 --> 00:35:58,419
I'll let you know if they're real clues
or if you found your own laundry list.
537
00:35:58,502 --> 00:36:02,877
We'd like to make this collar. It'd mean
a long-term deal with North Coast.
538
00:36:02,960 --> 00:36:05,377
I hear they're makin'
some changes up there.
539
00:36:05,419 --> 00:36:07,877
Fellas, I'm gonna
make this bust,
540
00:36:08,002 --> 00:36:11,877
then you guys are gonna be back at your
old jobs tracking down lost poodles.
541
00:36:11,960 --> 00:36:16,669
We had to laugh when we heard you thought
the Kensington heist was an inside job.
542
00:36:16,835 --> 00:36:20,544
I can see already we're gonna
be trippin' all over each other.
543
00:36:20,627 --> 00:36:23,919
- One of us is gonna fall down.
- We don't plan on fallin'.
544
00:36:24,002 --> 00:36:27,585
You're in over your heads-
all four of'em.
545
00:36:27,669 --> 00:36:29,627
This is a very smart burglar.
546
00:36:29,669 --> 00:36:33,210
You guys have trouble figuring out
who did it when you get a confession.
547
00:36:33,335 --> 00:36:35,169
I'll tell you what we figure.
548
00:36:35,252 --> 00:36:40,460
We're looking for a tall man,
heavyset, athletic, about 30 years old.
549
00:36:40,502 --> 00:36:42,585
Belly button in or out?
550
00:36:42,710 --> 00:36:45,169
Now, if he's short
at that weight, he's fat-
551
00:36:45,252 --> 00:36:47,169
too fat to squeeze
through the kitchen window.
552
00:36:47,252 --> 00:36:49,210
Wanna show him the big clue?
553
00:36:49,294 --> 00:36:52,294
What's the big clue? The guy
leave behind his birth certificate?
554
00:36:52,377 --> 00:36:54,294
Show him.
555
00:36:54,377 --> 00:36:58,252
No one in this house
was ever to Rocky's Bar.
556
00:36:58,335 --> 00:37:01,294
Hey- I've been to Rocky's Bar.
557
00:37:01,419 --> 00:37:05,210
You got a matchbook. Big deal.
Six million people eat at Rocky's Bar.
558
00:37:05,294 --> 00:37:07,252
We're gonna nail this guy.
559
00:37:07,294 --> 00:37:10,752
The important thing is that you
don't think of us as competition.
560
00:37:10,794 --> 00:37:13,169
Don't worry. I don't.
561
00:37:17,835 --> 00:37:20,919
What are you so upset about?
We'll get the guy.
562
00:37:21,002 --> 00:37:24,710
Can you believe she talked Magruder
into hiring these two jerks?
563
00:37:24,794 --> 00:37:27,294
You've been moping around all day.
564
00:37:27,335 --> 00:37:29,919
It's not like you.
What's goin' on?
565
00:37:30,002 --> 00:37:33,960
- Al, I got a confession to make.
- What?
566
00:37:34,085 --> 00:37:38,835
I woke up this morning. I found
this on the floor in my apartment.
567
00:37:38,919 --> 00:37:43,460
- Yeah, so?
- I have no memory of being with anybody last night.
568
00:37:43,585 --> 00:37:46,252
Come on. How many times has that
happened to everybody?
569
00:37:46,335 --> 00:37:48,835
You pick up a broad. You knock off
a bottle of booze. You're in the sack.
570
00:37:48,919 --> 00:37:52,752
- So you didn't remember.
- There was also an empty bottle of vodka on the floor.
571
00:37:52,794 --> 00:37:56,419
- I don't drink vodka.
- All the more reason you blacked out.
572
00:37:56,502 --> 00:37:58,627
Vodka does funny things to a person.
Believe me.
573
00:37:58,710 --> 00:38:01,877
I've gotten up with some pretty
strange- looking heads under my arm.
574
00:38:01,960 --> 00:38:06,460
I can't figure it out. There's
something wrong. I came back here.
575
00:38:06,585 --> 00:38:09,544
I wanted
to check something in my office.
576
00:38:09,669 --> 00:38:11,710
That I remember clearly.
577
00:38:11,877 --> 00:38:15,210
This was about 9:00.
578
00:38:15,252 --> 00:38:19,710
Hey, wait a minute. I ran into-
Wait a minute.
579
00:38:19,794 --> 00:38:22,752
- What are you thinkin'?
- Of course.
580
00:38:22,835 --> 00:38:26,044
No wonder I thought
it was an inside job.
581
00:38:26,127 --> 00:38:30,044
But not inside with the Dillworths
or the Kensingtons.
582
00:38:30,127 --> 00:38:33,419
- It's inside our company.
- What?
583
00:38:33,502 --> 00:38:36,585
It's so obvious.
Why didn't I see it right away?
584
00:38:36,669 --> 00:38:38,960
Are you kiddin'? Who?
Mize, Bond and me.
585
00:38:39,085 --> 00:38:41,460
We're the only ones who have
access to your security setups.
586
00:38:41,502 --> 00:38:44,669
Yeah, and what if somebody
else was given access?
587
00:38:44,752 --> 00:38:48,419
What if someone
we don't know as well...
588
00:38:48,502 --> 00:38:51,585
because she hasn't worked here
as long as we've been here?
589
00:38:51,669 --> 00:38:54,419
- Fitzgerald?
- Why not?
590
00:38:54,502 --> 00:38:59,669
Why not? My God.
We've had female jewel thieves before.
591
00:38:59,752 --> 00:39:03,002
She's always saying she can
do anything a man can do.
592
00:39:03,085 --> 00:39:05,002
I don't think she meant stealing.
593
00:39:05,085 --> 00:39:07,759
What do we know about her?
Nothing.
594
00:39:07,794 --> 00:39:11,002
You know, she has expensive tastes.
She wears good jewelry.
595
00:39:11,127 --> 00:39:15,210
- I gotta get into her office.
- Don't.
596
00:39:15,335 --> 00:39:18,752
- I must
- If you get caught, she'll kill you.
597
00:39:18,835 --> 00:39:21,710
She'll take a gun and shoot you.
She goes duck hunting.
598
00:39:21,794 --> 00:39:25,419
But it makes all the sense in the world.
She's here late every night.
599
00:39:25,460 --> 00:39:27,752
She has the files-
We've given her the files.
600
00:39:27,794 --> 00:39:31,419
She knows all the security information.
I gotta go through her place.
601
00:39:31,502 --> 00:39:35,960
Don't rifle her desk.
You're gonna get caught.
602
00:39:41,544 --> 00:39:43,669
- Uh-
- What Are you doing?
603
00:39:43,752 --> 00:39:45,877
- Me? No, I was-
- You're going through my desk.
604
00:39:45,960 --> 00:39:49,294
I beg your complete pardon.
605
00:39:49,377 --> 00:39:51,835
You're all red.
You were snooping through my papers.
606
00:39:51,919 --> 00:39:56,794
You know, only a suspicious, paranoid
mind would say something like that.
607
00:39:56,877 --> 00:39:59,794
I doubt very much whether
Amish people...
608
00:39:59,877 --> 00:40:01,794
or Quakers would come
to that conclusion.
609
00:40:01,877 --> 00:40:04,335
You wormy little ferret.
610
00:40:04,377 --> 00:40:06,377
Now you're mixing metaphors,
so you're upset.
611
00:40:06,460 --> 00:40:09,377
- I know why you're snooping through my office.
- I wasn't snooping.
612
00:40:09,460 --> 00:40:11,627
You're looking for the report
by the Coopersmith Agency.
613
00:40:11,710 --> 00:40:14,627
- You hired them to give me a hard time.
- What?
614
00:40:14,710 --> 00:40:17,752
That's right. Now it's too many cooks,
and we're getting all over each other.
615
00:40:17,877 --> 00:40:21,835
These guys have made more progress in
a few hours than you have in two days.
616
00:40:21,960 --> 00:40:23,919
Were you crying? Your mascara-
617
00:40:24,002 --> 00:40:27,877
Don't try to tap-dance your way
out of getting caught searching my desk.
618
00:40:27,960 --> 00:40:30,835
I wasn't searching. I was rummag-
Can a colleague not rummage?
619
00:40:30,919 --> 00:40:35,002
Get out. If I ever catch you
going through my stuff again-
620
00:40:35,085 --> 00:40:38,335
- What are you afraid I'll find?
- You couldn't find your nose if I turned the lights out.
621
00:40:38,419 --> 00:40:43,294
Watch out, 'cause I'm on to you. I know
what you are. I know what you're about.
622
00:40:43,377 --> 00:40:46,044
This is silly.
We should both calm down.
623
00:40:46,127 --> 00:40:49,585
I just had lunch, and you're liable to
overtax your heart and have a massive stroke,
624
00:40:49,669 --> 00:40:53,377
killing you instantly or
paralyzing half your body.
625
00:40:53,460 --> 00:40:55,419
Have a nice day.
626
00:40:55,460 --> 00:40:58,294
- I gotta get into her apartment.
- You're askin' for trouble.
627
00:40:58,377 --> 00:41:01,377
- She hit the ceiling when she caught me before.
- Can you blame her?
628
00:41:01,460 --> 00:41:04,960
'Cause she's guilty.
Look behind her eyes. She's a bad broad.
629
00:41:05,044 --> 00:41:08,794
- She's got pretty eyes.
- I said look behind, behind the eyes.
630
00:41:08,877 --> 00:41:12,669
There's something wrong
- The minute I met this broad, I sensed there was trouble.
631
00:41:12,710 --> 00:41:14,752
She says the same thing about you.
632
00:41:14,835 --> 00:41:17,085
If you two were prize fighters,
we could get a million-dollar gate.
633
00:41:17,169 --> 00:41:20,085
- I gotta get into her place.
- Look, let me tell you something.
634
00:41:20,210 --> 00:41:22,627
Being an investigator
doesn't put you above the law.
635
00:41:22,710 --> 00:41:24,752
She catches you,
she's gonna have you locked up.
636
00:41:24,877 --> 00:41:26,919
Has that ever stopped me before?
637
00:41:27,085 --> 00:41:29,419
- She's going out tonight.
- How do you know?
638
00:41:29,460 --> 00:41:31,502
'Cause I went through her desk.
I know her appointments.
639
00:41:31,627 --> 00:41:34,669
She's meeting her sister tonight
for dinner at a restaurant.
640
00:41:34,794 --> 00:41:37,210
I thought she said her sister
was an invalid in Detroit.
641
00:41:37,294 --> 00:41:40,085
That's what I'm tellin' ya.
Nothing she says ever checks out.
642
00:41:40,169 --> 00:41:43,502
Yeah, well, you know, you can't break
into her apartment. It's unethical.
643
00:41:43,627 --> 00:41:45,794
I'm not gonna break in.
I got the key.
644
00:41:45,835 --> 00:41:48,772
- How did you manage that?
- I stole it from her purse.
645
00:41:48,807 --> 00:41:51,710
She's gonna know something's up
when it's missing, right?
646
00:41:51,794 --> 00:41:54,960
She'll never know. I made a duplicate.
I put the original back.
647
00:41:55,044 --> 00:41:57,544
My God. You know, you've got
a touch of larceny in you.
648
00:41:57,627 --> 00:41:59,752
You would have made
one heck of a thief.
649
00:41:59,877 --> 00:42:01,794
It takes one to catch one.
Don't forget that.
650
00:42:01,877 --> 00:42:03,835
- I'll see you tomorrow.
- Yeah, see ya around.
651
00:42:51,419 --> 00:42:55,169
- Can I take your coat, honey?
- I'll get it.
652
00:42:55,252 --> 00:42:58,585
Okay, what did you want
to tell me?
653
00:42:58,710 --> 00:43:00,919
No drink?
654
00:43:00,960 --> 00:43:04,877
We've had enough drinks. How much alcohol
do you need to be completely honest?
655
00:43:04,960 --> 00:43:08,585
- You're not making this very easy.
- Why should I make it easy?
656
00:43:08,669 --> 00:43:10,877
Because we care about each other.
657
00:43:10,960 --> 00:43:13,919
Before it was you loved me.
Now it's that you care for me?
658
00:43:14,044 --> 00:43:17,585
- Just sit down. - I'm not gonna
faint. - I've been dumped before.
659
00:43:17,669 --> 00:43:20,252
I wish you wouldn't
say things like that.
660
00:43:20,294 --> 00:43:22,627
You rushed me out of
that restaurant to talk...
661
00:43:22,710 --> 00:43:25,377
because you were afraid I was
going to make a scene or pass out.
662
00:43:25,419 --> 00:43:27,419
You are a highly volatile woman.
663
00:43:27,502 --> 00:43:30,210
Am I? Most men complain
I'm cool as ice.
664
00:43:30,252 --> 00:43:33,419
- You know I care about you.
- You said that. Get to the point.
665
00:43:33,502 --> 00:43:37,252
- It's not that I don't want - to leave
Caroline- - But in the end, you're not.
666
00:43:37,335 --> 00:43:40,335
I've tried to work up
the courage a hundred times.
667
00:43:40,419 --> 00:43:45,335
All those promises? Those stories
about how miserable you were at home?
668
00:43:45,419 --> 00:43:48,710
- You're making this into a nightmare.
- Isn't it? It is for me.
669
00:43:48,794 --> 00:43:52,710
- Try to understand. - We
can still be friends. - Oh!
670
00:43:52,794 --> 00:43:56,085
- We can even continue to sleep together.
- Are you nuts?
671
00:43:56,169 --> 00:44:00,335
I only got involved in this because you
told me your marriage was on its last legs.
672
00:44:00,419 --> 00:44:02,752
When you say it like that,
it sounds like I've deceived you.
673
00:44:02,794 --> 00:44:06,044
- Haven't you?
- I didn't mean to.
674
00:44:06,127 --> 00:44:08,377
I respect you too much.
675
00:44:08,419 --> 00:44:12,919
Oh, my God. How did we go from love
to you care for me to you respect me?
676
00:44:13,002 --> 00:44:15,085
Next thing you'll be
buying me a prayer shawl.
677
00:44:15,127 --> 00:44:18,085
- Betty Ann-
- Leave me alone, okay? Please.
678
00:44:18,127 --> 00:44:20,085
- Betty-
- Just go- I'll be fine. Leave me alone.
679
00:44:20,127 --> 00:44:22,419
- Honey, listen-
- Leave me alone!
680
00:44:23,794 --> 00:44:26,210
I hope you decide
to stay on at North Coast.
681
00:44:26,294 --> 00:44:29,210
You're really helping
to turn our company around.
682
00:44:29,252 --> 00:44:32,002
I guess we won't be having
that honeymoon in Positano, huh?
683
00:44:32,085 --> 00:44:34,002
I feel like such a jerk!
684
00:44:34,085 --> 00:44:37,460
You shouldn't. It's my fault. I got
into this against my better judgment.
685
00:44:37,502 --> 00:44:39,669
- Honey-
- Just go.
686
00:45:26,085 --> 00:45:30,210
Good- bye, Chris.
Good- bye, New York.
687
00:45:35,127 --> 00:45:38,585
Miss Fitzgerald!
God! What are you doing?
688
00:45:38,752 --> 00:45:42,252
- What are you doing here?
- What do you mean, what am I doing here?
689
00:45:42,377 --> 00:45:44,835
- What are you doing here?
- I happened to be passing through.
690
00:45:44,877 --> 00:45:48,210
- You what?
- I'm- What do you- I was- I'm-
691
00:45:48,252 --> 00:45:50,877
- I'm hiding behind your screen.
- Behind what?
692
00:45:50,960 --> 00:45:54,169
You have this nice Japanese screen.
I was hiding behind it.
693
00:45:54,294 --> 00:45:57,085
How did you get in?
How long have you been here?
694
00:45:57,169 --> 00:45:59,752
I- What time- I've been here
quite a while, actually.
695
00:45:59,835 --> 00:46:01,877
- You broke into my apartment?
- I didn't break in.
696
00:46:01,960 --> 00:46:04,460
- How did you get in?
- You really want to know?
697
00:46:04,544 --> 00:46:07,085
- How did you get in here?
- I made a duplicate of your key.
698
00:46:07,169 --> 00:46:10,169
- You what?
- Which you can have for no extra charge.
699
00:46:10,252 --> 00:46:13,169
It's good to have two keys, 'cause
an emergency happens once in a while.
700
00:46:13,252 --> 00:46:15,544
- Why did you do this to me?
- What? Why?
701
00:46:15,585 --> 00:46:19,377
Because I'm convinced
somebody up at North Coast...
702
00:46:19,419 --> 00:46:21,794
is responsible for the jewel robbery.
703
00:46:21,877 --> 00:46:24,835
- Who, me?
- Well, you're a prime suspect, yes.
704
00:46:24,877 --> 00:46:28,877
- Based on what? - Based on the fact that
I know - everybody else better than you.
705
00:46:28,960 --> 00:46:32,127
- You have access to all the data.
- So? So do you.
706
00:46:32,210 --> 00:46:35,294
But you were so nervous the other night
when I caught you up there.
707
00:46:35,377 --> 00:46:37,585
I came up, and you were
acting so strange.
708
00:46:37,669 --> 00:46:40,460
You have a Rocky's matchbook.
I saw you put it in your-
709
00:46:40,502 --> 00:46:43,044
Remember we had a drink at Rocky's Bar?
It didn't go too well.
710
00:46:43,169 --> 00:46:46,627
So you broke into my apartment illegally
and spied on me?
711
00:46:46,752 --> 00:46:50,252
I wasn't spying. What's wrong with you?
I was rummaging.
712
00:46:50,335 --> 00:46:53,169
- I'm a big rummager.
- You what?
713
00:46:53,252 --> 00:46:58,169
I was rummaging in the afternoon.
I saw "dinner with my sister. "
714
00:46:58,252 --> 00:47:02,669
All those sisters- all those dinners-
Those were with Magruder, right?
715
00:47:02,752 --> 00:47:04,669
Oh, God! I'm mortified!
716
00:47:04,752 --> 00:47:08,669
Stop it. If it wasn't for me being here,
they'd be scraping you up with a spoon.
717
00:47:08,752 --> 00:47:10,669
That's none of your business,
you slimy little weasel.
718
00:47:10,710 --> 00:47:12,835
And over a jerk like Magruder.
719
00:47:12,919 --> 00:47:16,627
He's not a jerk. He's wonderful.
He's twice the man you are, you roach.
720
00:47:16,710 --> 00:47:20,710
Don't you see? He gives you these
stories so he can get into your pants.
721
00:47:20,835 --> 00:47:23,794
- He's not gonna leave his wife.
- You witnessed my humiliation.
722
00:47:23,877 --> 00:47:28,002
The only humiliating thing is how this guy
takes advantage of a smart woman like you.
723
00:47:28,085 --> 00:47:30,835
You're not fit to discuss
Chris Magruder.
724
00:47:30,960 --> 00:47:34,002
Look at this. She still loves the guy.
I can't believe it.
725
00:47:34,085 --> 00:47:37,252
Get out before I call the police and have
you arrested for breaking and entering.
726
00:47:37,335 --> 00:47:40,794
I'm not letting you alone here tonight.
Are you crazy? Look at you.
727
00:47:40,877 --> 00:47:43,794
I'd ask if you had any friends,
but I know the answer.
728
00:47:43,877 --> 00:47:48,460
Give me this. Jesus. What-
729
00:47:48,544 --> 00:47:51,960
What-
Great.
730
00:47:53,252 --> 00:47:55,752
Are you okay?
731
00:47:55,835 --> 00:47:58,085
- Hello?
- Oh.
732
00:47:58,127 --> 00:48:00,085
Jesus.
733
00:48:26,650 --> 00:48:28,055
What the hell Are you doing here?
734
00:48:28,097 --> 00:48:30,222
I'm making coffee.
735
00:48:30,389 --> 00:48:32,597
Oh, God!
It's all coming back to me now.
736
00:48:32,639 --> 00:48:35,347
You came here last night because
you thought I stole some jewels!
737
00:48:35,430 --> 00:48:37,805
This happens to be
a very confusing case.
738
00:48:37,889 --> 00:48:40,389
I'll say you're confused.
Why didn't you go home to sleep?
739
00:48:40,430 --> 00:48:43,180
- Are you kidding? - And let you
do something crazy? - Like what?
740
00:48:43,264 --> 00:48:45,264
Like take a swan dive out the window.
741
00:48:45,347 --> 00:48:47,347
How do you know I wouldn't take
a swan dive with you here?
742
00:48:47,389 --> 00:48:51,222
- Because I watched over you.
- You stayed up all night watching me?
743
00:48:51,305 --> 00:48:53,639
That's exactly right. Yes.
744
00:48:53,722 --> 00:48:56,430
And you snore like a grizzly bear
with a sinus condition.
745
00:48:56,555 --> 00:48:58,472
I had a bad moment last night.
I'm fine now.
746
00:48:58,555 --> 00:49:02,097
- You talk in your sleep. - You probably
took notes, - you suspicious little inchworm.
747
00:49:02,222 --> 00:49:05,014
- Who's Rita? - Rita's the woman
- my ex-husband ran away with.
748
00:49:05,097 --> 00:49:08,680
- Anything else?
- You certainly know how to pick men.
749
00:49:08,722 --> 00:49:10,805
Check your sex.
There's not a lot to pick from.
750
00:49:10,889 --> 00:49:13,722
And you mentioned my name too.
I thought you were awake.
751
00:49:13,764 --> 00:49:16,430
- You said that I should rot in hell.
- I was probably awake.
752
00:49:16,514 --> 00:49:18,430
I figured you were feeling better.
753
00:49:18,514 --> 00:49:22,805
Now, if you'll go, I gotta be at work in 30
minutes, and don't gossip about what you saw.
754
00:49:22,889 --> 00:49:27,805
Nobody's gonna gossip. I couldn't care less
about your life. It means nothing to me.
755
00:49:27,889 --> 00:49:31,347
I couldn't stand you when I met you,
and I can't stand you now.
756
00:49:31,389 --> 00:49:34,389
I find you obnoxious and pompous-
Do me a favor.
757
00:49:34,514 --> 00:49:38,222
When you see me in the office- do me
a favor- walk the other way, okay?
758
00:49:38,264 --> 00:49:41,472
And if Magruder tells you
he's gonna leave his wife,
759
00:49:41,597 --> 00:49:44,972
if I were you,
I would keep my legs crossed.
760
00:49:45,055 --> 00:49:47,389
Don't choke on your breakfast
and die of as phyxiation.
761
00:49:47,514 --> 00:49:52,014
You'll wind up unable to dislodge a large
piece of toast, no matter how hard you cough.
762
00:49:58,097 --> 00:50:00,055
Mr. Magruder, you sent for-
763
00:50:00,139 --> 00:50:05,347
Oh. If you'll all open
your hymn books to page 90-
764
00:50:05,389 --> 00:50:08,930
Sit down, C.W.
We have a situation.
765
00:50:09,055 --> 00:50:11,764
Your brother looks good.
The embalmer did nice work.
766
00:50:11,889 --> 00:50:14,264
I'll let the Coopersmiths
bring you up to date.
767
00:50:14,347 --> 00:50:18,889
After careful search, using some of
the most up-to-minute techniques,
768
00:50:18,930 --> 00:50:20,930
we found some interesting clues.
769
00:50:21,014 --> 00:50:23,389
Yeah? Leading to who,
Eleanor Roosevelt?
770
00:50:23,472 --> 00:50:26,639
We got a shoe print off the
parapet at the Kensington place.
771
00:50:26,722 --> 00:50:28,055
So?
772
00:50:28,139 --> 00:50:31,180
An eight-and-a-half
"C" Florsheim cordovan.
773
00:50:31,222 --> 00:50:33,639
Only worn by 20 million Americans.
774
00:50:33,722 --> 00:50:36,930
I mean, I wear an eight-and-a-half"C"
cordovan Florsheim shoe.
775
00:50:37,055 --> 00:50:40,639
For the money, you cannot
get a better shoe.
776
00:50:40,722 --> 00:50:43,097
We also found a couple of hairs.
777
00:50:43,180 --> 00:50:47,514
One on the rug at the Kensington place, the
other one actually inside the Dillworth safe.
778
00:50:47,555 --> 00:50:49,514
They match.
779
00:50:49,555 --> 00:50:52,097
Forgive me if I'm not knocked out.
780
00:50:52,139 --> 00:50:55,972
Oh, we don't mean just to each other.
They match yours.
781
00:50:56,055 --> 00:50:58,805
Just like the eight-and-a-half
"C"cordovans.
782
00:50:58,889 --> 00:51:02,472
Hey, fellas. I know you guys
are angling for my job-
783
00:51:02,597 --> 00:51:05,055
We also got a fingerprint
off the matchbook.
784
00:51:05,139 --> 00:51:07,722
You got a fingerprint
off a matchbook?
785
00:51:07,764 --> 00:51:10,472
The Coopersmith lab uses
highly sensitive apparatus.
786
00:51:10,597 --> 00:51:14,264
- You're not gonna tell me it's mine?
- It is, C.W.
787
00:51:14,347 --> 00:51:17,722
Well, so what?
So I leave a footprint on the parapet,
788
00:51:17,764 --> 00:51:20,430
or I inadvertently drop a matchbook.
789
00:51:20,514 --> 00:51:23,389
The matchbook was found before
you got over to the place.
790
00:51:23,430 --> 00:51:26,722
You guys don't doubt my honesty,
do you?
791
00:51:26,764 --> 00:51:29,264
Let me tell you, I was
a Boy Scout for three years.
792
00:51:29,347 --> 00:51:32,264
I got a number of merit badges
home, and my clergyman,
793
00:51:32,347 --> 00:51:36,264
who happens right now to be wanted
for pederasty, will vouch for me.
794
00:51:36,347 --> 00:51:39,305
Nobody's making any accusations.
795
00:51:39,389 --> 00:51:41,972
You do have some outstanding debt
from expensive sports betting-
796
00:51:42,055 --> 00:51:43,972
baseball, the ponies.
797
00:51:44,097 --> 00:51:46,055
Are you guys investigating me?
798
00:51:46,097 --> 00:51:51,180
C.W., I assure you, this is only
an inquiry in-house at this time.
799
00:51:51,264 --> 00:51:54,847
We don't want the police to know about it,
and we're not looking for bad publicity.
800
00:51:54,930 --> 00:51:57,805
Miss Fitzgerald, what do you think?
Say something.
801
00:51:57,889 --> 00:52:01,389
You're a bright woman.
You think I did it?
802
00:52:01,430 --> 00:52:05,555
Please, C.W. let's not have our daily
bloodbath between you and Miss Fitzgerald.
803
00:52:05,597 --> 00:52:09,264
- She's not an investigator. - But she's a
very bright woman. - She's got a lot of ideas.
804
00:52:09,347 --> 00:52:11,847
She was the one who brought these
two mouth breathers in on this case.
805
00:52:11,930 --> 00:52:14,680
It's nothin' personal.
We're just building a case.
806
00:52:14,764 --> 00:52:18,139
We all want to catch a jewel thief.
I'm on your side.
807
00:52:18,222 --> 00:52:21,139
Fellas, I think
we gotta get team jackets.
808
00:52:23,264 --> 00:52:26,847
I want a resume of every employee who
works here messengered to my apartment.
809
00:52:26,889 --> 00:52:31,264
Don't worry, C.W.
We'll get to the bottom of this.
810
00:52:31,389 --> 00:52:34,055
Oh, Miss Fitzgerald,
I wanted to meet with you later.
811
00:52:34,139 --> 00:52:37,389
- About what, Mr. Magruder?
- Our Paris account.
812
00:52:37,430 --> 00:52:39,430
As I recall,
that account is closed.
813
00:52:39,472 --> 00:52:41,805
I have to see you later.
Just to talk.
814
00:52:41,889 --> 00:52:45,597
I behaved like such a fool.
Later, f-for a drink. Just for a drink.
815
00:53:12,889 --> 00:53:15,514
Oh. Well.
816
00:53:15,555 --> 00:53:17,889
Can I come in?
817
00:53:17,972 --> 00:53:20,430
Yeah, sure. I-I'm shocked.
818
00:53:20,514 --> 00:53:22,389
I- The place is a little messy.
819
00:53:22,430 --> 00:53:25,514
if I knew you were coming, I would have
had the maid rearrange the dirt.
820
00:53:25,639 --> 00:53:27,597
Are you alone?
821
00:53:27,722 --> 00:53:29,680
Alone? Yeah. Of course.
822
00:53:29,764 --> 00:53:33,222
I would have called, but I decided
it was safer to talk to you in person.
823
00:53:33,305 --> 00:53:36,222
- What do you mean, "safer"?
- I can't stay long.
824
00:53:36,264 --> 00:53:38,222
Why? You gonna meet
Magruder in Paris?
825
00:53:38,264 --> 00:53:40,514
That's none of your business.
826
00:53:40,597 --> 00:53:44,555
Thanks for coming to my defense today in
the office. It was really nice of you.
827
00:53:44,597 --> 00:53:46,639
That's what I wanted
to talk to you about.
828
00:53:46,722 --> 00:53:50,680
The Coopersmith brothers had Laura
Kensington in for questioning today.
829
00:53:50,722 --> 00:53:53,180
She told them she was with you
the night before last...
830
00:53:53,305 --> 00:53:57,097
and that you got a phone call in the middle
of the night and began acting strangely...
831
00:53:57,222 --> 00:53:59,972
and got rid of her because you
had to go someplace at midnight?
832
00:54:00,055 --> 00:54:02,430
Well, let me tell you, she's lying.
833
00:54:02,514 --> 00:54:05,389
- Why would she lie?
- Wh- Use your head.
834
00:54:05,430 --> 00:54:09,389
Would I kick Laura Kensington
out of my bed at midnight?
835
00:54:09,472 --> 00:54:11,389
Even if the president needed me.
836
00:54:11,472 --> 00:54:15,014
- Why Are you lying to me? - Why did
you come here - with this crazy story?
837
00:54:15,097 --> 00:54:17,514
Because i should have spoken up
at that meeting today.
838
00:54:17,555 --> 00:54:19,972
Because while I think you're
a mealy-mouthed little...
839
00:54:20,055 --> 00:54:23,139
- Reptile. - reptile- Thank you-
I don't think you're a jewel thief.
840
00:54:23,222 --> 00:54:26,055
- What makes you so positive?
- It's too daring for you.
841
00:54:26,180 --> 00:54:29,430
You're not romantic enough.
It requires flair and imagination.
842
00:54:29,514 --> 00:54:31,722
My instinct's telling me
you're not the one.
843
00:54:31,805 --> 00:54:34,389
- I didn't think you had instincts.
- I have them.
844
00:54:34,472 --> 00:54:37,430
I don't usually trust them, especially
when it comes to sizing up men,
845
00:54:37,472 --> 00:54:39,430
but this time I can feel it.
846
00:54:39,472 --> 00:54:42,555
You're good at weaselly type things,
like snooping and spying.
847
00:54:42,639 --> 00:54:44,764
You're not man enough
to be a cat burglar.
848
00:54:44,847 --> 00:54:48,555
- You sound like you're attracted - to men who
break the law. - We're not here to discuss me.
849
00:54:48,597 --> 00:54:52,389
We're here to talk about what Laura
Kensington told the Coopersmiths.
850
00:54:52,430 --> 00:54:54,514
Laura Kensington wasn't here.
851
00:54:54,597 --> 00:54:57,722
She- You're making-
Laura Kensington was not here.
852
00:54:57,764 --> 00:55:00,764
She said she left her stocking here.
853
00:55:00,847 --> 00:55:03,222
Hey, that could be anybody's.
I don't know-
854
00:55:03,264 --> 00:55:05,305
A lot of women pass
through this apartment.
855
00:55:05,389 --> 00:55:08,180
I'm not saying they're all winners,
but there's a lot of action here.
856
00:55:08,222 --> 00:55:10,680
I'm sure you're not overly particular.
857
00:55:10,722 --> 00:55:13,389
Look. What do you want from me?
858
00:55:13,472 --> 00:55:18,180
I happen to enjoy the proximity of a
well-proportioned member of the opposite sex.
859
00:55:18,264 --> 00:55:22,680
That's how God created us, and why should
I be the one to quibble with His concept?
860
00:55:22,722 --> 00:55:26,097
I came to tell you a case is building
against you. Be honest with me!
861
00:55:26,139 --> 00:55:28,514
- I'm honest. I'm honest.
- Where did you get this stocking?
862
00:55:28,555 --> 00:55:30,514
It's some broad's.
863
00:55:30,555 --> 00:55:33,555
The women that are here, they lose
an earring, a stocking, I don't know.
864
00:55:33,639 --> 00:55:36,389
Laura Kensington says it's hers.
She also says she tipped the super.
865
00:55:36,472 --> 00:55:39,805
He let her in here,
and that story checks out.
866
00:55:39,889 --> 00:55:42,597
- Whoever that is, I'm not here.
- What? Wh-
867
00:55:44,722 --> 00:55:47,180
- Who is it?
- It's Herb and Joe C.oopersmith.
868
00:55:47,222 --> 00:55:49,222
I don't want to be seen here!
869
00:55:49,264 --> 00:55:51,430
Why? What's the problem?
What am I, a leper?
870
00:55:51,514 --> 00:55:54,014
You're under suspicion.
I would have a lot of explaining to do.
871
00:55:54,055 --> 00:55:56,472
You know, I think you're still hooked
on Magruder.
872
00:55:56,555 --> 00:55:59,014
That's why you don't-
Go down the end of the hall.
873
00:55:59,097 --> 00:56:01,097
There's a bedroom.
Shut the door. Go in the bedroom.
874
00:56:01,139 --> 00:56:04,097
Can I sit down in there,
or will I catch something?
875
00:56:04,139 --> 00:56:07,097
Germs can't live in your bloodstream.
It's too cold.
876
00:56:13,680 --> 00:56:15,930
Let's go, C.W. Open up.
877
00:56:15,972 --> 00:56:17,972
Coming!
878
00:56:26,847 --> 00:56:29,139
Hey, fellas.
You sure you got the right apartment?
879
00:56:29,222 --> 00:56:31,889
The traps with the cheese
are in the basement.
880
00:56:31,930 --> 00:56:34,264
- Can we come in?
- Now, wait a minute.
881
00:56:34,347 --> 00:56:37,889
I got a chorus girl in the back room,
and if I don't hurry up-
882
00:56:37,972 --> 00:56:40,430
Wouldn't be Laura Kensington,
would it?
883
00:56:40,514 --> 00:56:42,472
Laura Kensington?
I don't know.
884
00:56:42,555 --> 00:56:44,805
They all look the same upside down.
I can never tell.
885
00:56:44,889 --> 00:56:46,889
She says she was here
the other night,
886
00:56:47,055 --> 00:56:50,514
till you dumped her to go out on
mysterious middle-of-the-night business.
887
00:56:50,597 --> 00:56:54,014
Hey, would I dump Laura Kensington?
I eat Wheaties.
888
00:56:54,097 --> 00:56:59,264
Problem is, Eddie, the night guard from
the North Coast building, says you, uh,
889
00:56:59,347 --> 00:57:02,597
made some strange middle-of-the-night
visits to your office...
890
00:57:02,639 --> 00:57:04,847
both nights the robberies took place.
891
00:57:04,889 --> 00:57:07,097
Fellas, I'd love to chat
with you, but, you know,
892
00:57:07,180 --> 00:57:09,472
there's a nurse in
the other room there, and-
893
00:57:09,555 --> 00:57:11,555
I thought you said
she was a chorus girl.
894
00:57:11,597 --> 00:57:14,097
Who does a little nursing?
Give me a break.
895
00:57:14,222 --> 00:57:17,055
Come on. We can discuss this
tomorrow, can't we?
896
00:57:17,097 --> 00:57:20,180
I don't know how you can still make love
with this on your mind.
897
00:57:20,264 --> 00:57:22,180
You know, you're facing
a long jail sentence.
898
00:57:22,264 --> 00:57:25,014
That's exactly why I gotta
get in all I can now.
899
00:57:25,097 --> 00:57:28,055
Yeah? Well, we're gonna turn this over
to the police tomorrow.
900
00:57:28,097 --> 00:57:31,597
You can see. There's a case developing
that's pretty incriminating.
901
00:57:31,680 --> 00:57:33,930
This is circumstantial evidence.
That's all you got.
902
00:57:33,972 --> 00:57:37,639
Many a man's gone to the gallows
on circumstantial evidence.
903
00:57:37,764 --> 00:57:39,680
Well, fellas, the gallows
are gonna have to wait,
904
00:57:39,764 --> 00:57:42,597
because I got a cocktail waitress
in the other room now, and I-
905
00:57:42,680 --> 00:57:45,305
- Cocktail waitress?
- Yeah, a nurse, you know,
906
00:57:45,389 --> 00:57:47,889
who- who's a little bit
of a chorus girl,
907
00:57:47,930 --> 00:57:49,889
and she works a lounge now and then.
908
00:57:50,014 --> 00:57:51,972
If you catch the jewel thief,
let me know.
909
00:57:52,055 --> 00:57:54,097
- I'll get you both new yo-yos.
- Yeah.
910
00:57:57,555 --> 00:57:59,472
They're-
911
00:58:01,555 --> 00:58:04,097
- What is this?
- I was...
912
00:58:04,139 --> 00:58:06,097
browsing through your bookshelf,
913
00:58:06,139 --> 00:58:10,680
and I found this deck
of naked playing cards and these.
914
00:58:10,722 --> 00:58:12,680
This is- What do you-
915
00:58:12,722 --> 00:58:14,639
This is- This is
the Kensington jewels.
916
00:58:14,764 --> 00:58:18,139
This is the- This is
the Dillworth jewels and the- the-
917
00:58:18,222 --> 00:58:20,180
This is-
What Are you-
918
00:58:21,889 --> 00:58:23,805
What Are you looking
at me like that for?
919
00:58:23,847 --> 00:58:28,055
Because you found them in amongst
my collection of female art studies?
920
00:58:28,097 --> 00:58:30,055
What is the implication here?
921
00:58:30,097 --> 00:58:32,055
I used to go with the six of spades.
922
00:58:32,097 --> 00:58:34,805
Then the four of diamonds
caught us together and there was a-
923
00:58:34,889 --> 00:58:38,347
I was aware that you sneaked up mysteriously
to the office in the middle of the night...
924
00:58:38,430 --> 00:58:40,347
and the lobby guard saw you.
925
00:58:40,430 --> 00:58:42,805
I know you have Laura Kensington's
stocking, and she swears...
926
00:58:42,889 --> 00:58:46,514
you kicked her out of bed to take care of
sudden business, which your super corroborates.
927
00:58:46,597 --> 00:58:49,472
They have a footprint,
a match book with your fingerprint,
928
00:58:49,555 --> 00:58:53,055
and still I believed
that you didn't do it.
929
00:58:53,139 --> 00:58:57,555
But now the actual stolen property
turns up hidden in your bedroom.
930
00:58:57,639 --> 00:59:00,180
So what Are you saying?
This makes you suspicious of me?
931
00:59:00,305 --> 00:59:04,139
I was actually a bit touched that you
stayed up all night watching over me.
932
00:59:04,222 --> 00:59:08,597
I began to think, " Maybe he's not the
scummy little vermin he seems to be. "
933
00:59:08,680 --> 00:59:11,847
I maybe a scummy vermin,
but I'm an honest scummy vermin.
934
00:59:11,889 --> 00:59:14,514
- I didn't take these jewels.
- How can you deny it?
935
00:59:14,597 --> 00:59:17,014
- You've been caught red-handed.
- Yes, I-
936
00:59:17,097 --> 00:59:20,555
What- I'm- I grant you,
there's a fingerprint of me,
937
00:59:20,597 --> 00:59:24,305
and they have a footprint,
and the jewels are in my bedroom.
938
00:59:24,347 --> 00:59:26,305
This I give you.
939
00:59:26,389 --> 00:59:30,097
- I'm starting to think - I'm in tremendous
trouble here. - I'm calling the police.
940
00:59:30,180 --> 00:59:33,347
No. Will you forget about logic
and give me the benefit of the doubt?
941
00:59:33,389 --> 00:59:35,930
- Ha! That makes me an accessory.
- Not if I'm innocent.
942
00:59:36,055 --> 00:59:38,139
You don't have a kosher bone
in your body.
943
00:59:38,222 --> 00:59:41,889
That's exactly why you get your selves
into these problems.
944
00:59:41,924 --> 00:59:44,389
That's why Magruder's
waiting for you, right?
945
00:59:44,514 --> 00:59:47,597
You make all the wrong decisions
'cause you make 'em here, not here.
946
00:59:47,680 --> 00:59:50,430
Decisions made here
are not as reliable as here,
947
00:59:50,472 --> 00:59:53,014
because this is gray cells
and this is blood,
948
00:59:53,097 --> 00:59:55,014
and blood circulates
through the body.
949
00:59:55,055 --> 00:59:57,389
It gets around.
It knows what the score is.
950
00:59:57,430 --> 01:00:00,347
But up here, gray cells
just lay there and think.
951
01:00:00,430 --> 01:00:01,514
You see what I'm saying?
952
01:00:01,555 --> 01:00:04,555
You see what I'm saying?
953
01:00:04,680 --> 01:00:07,514
- Hello?
- Constantinople.
954
01:00:09,055 --> 01:00:11,222
You will take the jewels,
each and every one of them.
955
01:00:11,347 --> 01:00:13,222
Make sure you have them all.
956
01:00:13,305 --> 01:00:17,222
Wrap them tightly in brown paper so it's
impossible for anyone to tell what they are.
957
01:00:17,264 --> 01:00:21,222
Go to Grand Central Station.
Rent a locker. Lock them in.
958
01:00:21,347 --> 01:00:24,847
Go home, taking the key with you,
and put the key in your mailbox.
959
01:00:24,972 --> 01:00:27,514
Make sure to leave the mailbox open.
960
01:00:27,597 --> 01:00:30,889
Then you will go into a deep,
refreshing slumber, and when you awake,
961
01:00:30,930 --> 01:00:33,014
you will remember nothing
of what has transpired.
962
01:00:33,097 --> 01:00:35,514
Is that clear?
963
01:00:40,889 --> 01:00:42,847
Miss Fitzgerald?
964
01:00:44,222 --> 01:00:46,222
Have- Have I ever told you...
965
01:00:47,722 --> 01:00:50,972
that you're one of the most
beautiful women I've ever met?
966
01:00:52,097 --> 01:00:54,680
- I'm turning you in.
- No, I mean it.
967
01:00:54,805 --> 01:00:58,389
That's what made me first fall in love
with you is those beautiful eyes.
968
01:00:58,514 --> 01:01:01,597
I can't believe it. You're actually
trying to sweet-talk me?
969
01:01:01,680 --> 01:01:04,097
I resisted because, well, down deep...
970
01:01:04,180 --> 01:01:06,097
I thought that you might hurt me,
971
01:01:06,180 --> 01:01:08,764
and I didn't want to put myself
in that position again.
972
01:01:08,847 --> 01:01:10,972
C.W., let me set you straight
once and for all.
973
01:01:11,055 --> 01:01:14,097
I wouldn't be interested in you
if you were the last man on Earth.
974
01:01:14,180 --> 01:01:16,472
Not only that, I find it insulting
that you could think...
975
01:01:16,514 --> 01:01:18,514
I would fall for such
a heavy-handed ploy.
976
01:01:18,555 --> 01:01:20,680
What a low opinion
of me you must have.
977
01:01:20,722 --> 01:01:22,597
Thank you for dropping by.
978
01:01:22,680 --> 01:01:26,389
I'm a little busy right now, but tomorrow
night, maybe we could have dinner.
979
01:01:26,472 --> 01:01:28,389
I know a candlelight restaurant.
980
01:01:28,472 --> 01:01:31,847
I could look into your eyes
and tell you how crazy about you I am.
981
01:01:31,930 --> 01:01:35,430
if I didn't know what a squirming
little trapped rat you were,
982
01:01:35,514 --> 01:01:37,430
I'd think you had a brain tumor.
983
01:01:55,264 --> 01:01:57,930
- You're late.
- God, I'm still trembling.
984
01:01:58,014 --> 01:02:00,014
Over last night?
I couldn't sleep a wink.
985
01:02:00,139 --> 01:02:02,389
It's not that, Chris. It's Briggs.
986
01:02:03,722 --> 01:02:07,139
He's guilty, isn't he?
It's a sad story.
987
01:02:07,222 --> 01:02:09,389
Please don't make me
go into all the details,
988
01:02:09,430 --> 01:02:13,305
but I wonder if he's having some kind
of mental breakdown.
989
01:02:13,389 --> 01:02:15,889
He may be realizing
the consequences of his deeds.
990
01:02:15,972 --> 01:02:18,764
- The Coopersmiths are closing in on him.
- Could he have...
991
01:02:18,805 --> 01:02:20,764
a split personality?
992
01:02:20,805 --> 01:02:24,347
A lot of criminals have been known to play
crafty games when it suited their purposes.
993
01:02:24,389 --> 01:02:27,347
I need a drink.
994
01:02:27,430 --> 01:02:31,055
if I tell you something, do you promise
not to go off half-cocked?
995
01:02:31,139 --> 01:02:34,139
Okay, but hurry.
I've got some big news.
996
01:02:34,264 --> 01:02:36,222
- I found the jewels.
- What?
997
01:02:48,389 --> 01:02:50,514
And keep me apprised, will you?
Thank you.
998
01:02:53,805 --> 01:02:56,055
The police are on the way, thank God.
999
01:02:56,139 --> 01:02:58,055
It's an open-and-shut case.
1000
01:02:58,139 --> 01:03:01,055
Much as I cringe at the publicity,
I'm elated at the recovery.
1001
01:03:01,097 --> 01:03:04,555
It's clear there's
so much more to this, Chris.
1002
01:03:04,597 --> 01:03:08,555
Oh, I've seen men driven to extremes
before being around big money.
1003
01:03:08,639 --> 01:03:10,680
These guys earn their living exposing...
1004
01:03:10,722 --> 01:03:14,139
all kinds of exotic schemes
to defraud and rob people.
1005
01:03:14,264 --> 01:03:17,472
Sometimes they start thinking, " Hey, I'm
on the inside. I know why these schemes fail.
1006
01:03:17,514 --> 01:03:19,472
I won't make the same mistakes. "
1007
01:03:19,514 --> 01:03:23,097
You're saying he's cracked
from so many years of hard work?
1008
01:03:23,180 --> 01:03:27,514
He's a driven man.
Had a terrible marital experience.
1009
01:03:27,555 --> 01:03:30,722
Turned him off women, except for
the little no-threat secretaries...
1010
01:03:30,847 --> 01:03:33,222
and barflies he picks up.
1011
01:03:33,264 --> 01:03:35,597
Crushed when he caught
his wife cheating.
1012
01:03:35,680 --> 01:03:37,597
He's feeling older
and looks around and says,
1013
01:03:37,722 --> 01:03:40,722
" Hey, maybe it's time
I get mine and get out. "
1014
01:03:40,805 --> 01:03:43,139
Guy named Peterson
a couple of years ago tried the same.
1015
01:03:43,222 --> 01:03:46,180
Of course, he's a houseguest
at Sing Sing these days.
1016
01:03:46,222 --> 01:03:49,472
Well, I'm sure you know him
better than I do.
1017
01:03:49,555 --> 01:03:51,597
It'll resolve itself.
1018
01:03:51,639 --> 01:03:55,389
Um, Betty Ann, I spoke with Caroline.
1019
01:03:56,930 --> 01:04:00,014
- You did?
- I told her I wanted my freedom.
1020
01:04:01,889 --> 01:04:04,430
- Really?
- Isn't that fabulous?
1021
01:04:04,514 --> 01:04:06,430
It's surprising.
1022
01:04:06,514 --> 01:04:08,430
I thought you'd be
knocked off your feet.
1023
01:04:08,514 --> 01:04:11,555
Well, I mean, it was last night.
1024
01:04:11,639 --> 01:04:14,097
- It's sort of like a roller coaster.
- Forget about last night.
1025
01:04:14,180 --> 01:04:16,680
I knew I'd made a mistake
the minute I left your apartment.
1026
01:04:16,764 --> 01:04:18,847
What did she say?
1027
01:04:18,930 --> 01:04:21,722
I think she sensed
we'd been drifting apart.
1028
01:04:21,764 --> 01:04:23,722
she was very poised.
1029
01:04:23,764 --> 01:04:26,347
Said if I was sure
that's what I wanted, uh-
1030
01:04:27,722 --> 01:04:30,055
- Thank you.
- I'll have another one of these, please.
1031
01:04:30,097 --> 01:04:32,347
Sure.
1032
01:04:32,430 --> 01:04:35,097
You're certainly not as euphoric
as I'd imagined.
1033
01:04:35,222 --> 01:04:39,472
Well, you can't expect me to just
change gears and turn on a dime.
1034
01:04:40,722 --> 01:04:42,722
- Have you changed your mind?
- Mmm.
1035
01:04:44,180 --> 01:04:46,972
- No.
- You haven't met someone else, have you?
1036
01:04:47,097 --> 01:04:49,055
No, no, I haven't.
1037
01:04:58,305 --> 01:05:01,930
I don't understand, fellas.
What- What's going on? What'd I do?
1038
01:05:02,014 --> 01:05:05,847
Yes, those are the ones.
They were in his bookcase.
1039
01:05:05,889 --> 01:05:10,764
He bets every day, and, uh,
and he usually loses.
1040
01:05:10,847 --> 01:05:13,347
I knew he was into the bookmakers
for a bundle.
1041
01:05:13,430 --> 01:05:16,389
Look, I was with him on Tuesday night
till about 12:00.
1042
01:05:16,430 --> 01:05:20,430
Then suddenly he got a phone call
and he was like a different man.
1043
01:05:20,555 --> 01:05:23,597
if It was anyone else but C.W.,
1044
01:05:23,722 --> 01:05:26,514
we wouldn't even be discussing this.
1045
01:05:26,555 --> 01:05:29,305
The jewels were in his locker.
It's an airtight case.
1046
01:05:29,389 --> 01:05:31,889
Listen, fellas,
I know you guys wanted my job,
1047
01:05:31,930 --> 01:05:34,472
but I could get 30 years
up the river for this.
1048
01:05:34,555 --> 01:05:37,014
With good behavior,
you'll be out in 20.
1049
01:05:37,097 --> 01:05:39,180
I'll get you. No matter where you are.
1050
01:05:39,264 --> 01:05:42,347
I'll check every low-I. Q club in town,
and I'll find you. I'll kill you.
1051
01:05:42,389 --> 01:05:44,889
- Low I. Q Some genius.
- I'll kill these guys.
1052
01:05:44,972 --> 01:05:47,430
- Take it easy.
- I'm not one to give pious lectures,
1053
01:05:47,514 --> 01:05:49,889
but if you needed money,
you could have come to me.
1054
01:05:49,972 --> 01:05:52,805
I would have listened.
I warned you about your gambling habit.
1055
01:05:52,889 --> 01:05:55,097
Cant you see
what a conspiracy this is?
1056
01:05:55,264 --> 01:05:57,222
They plant a footprint
and a fingerprint,
1057
01:05:57,305 --> 01:05:59,430
and the night watchman
forges my signature.
1058
01:05:59,514 --> 01:06:03,389
It's easy. And this crazy girl
who smokes opium makes up a story.
1059
01:06:03,472 --> 01:06:05,472
And Fitzgerald plants
the jewels in my apartment.
1060
01:06:05,555 --> 01:06:08,347
There's a word for people who think
everyone is conspiring against them.
1061
01:06:08,389 --> 01:06:10,430
- That's right. Perceptive.
- C.W.,
1062
01:06:10,514 --> 01:06:14,097
you tried to swallow the key to
the locker at Grand Central Station...
1063
01:06:14,180 --> 01:06:16,097
where we found the stolen goods.
1064
01:06:16,180 --> 01:06:18,514
- You got any witnesses?
- Yeah, me!
1065
01:06:18,555 --> 01:06:20,847
You gonna take your word over mine?
1066
01:06:20,930 --> 01:06:22,847
Let's get him over to the courthouse
and book him.
1067
01:06:22,889 --> 01:06:24,847
You better get a lawyer, C.W.
1068
01:06:24,889 --> 01:06:26,889
I'm shocked.
This is one of my best men.
1069
01:06:26,930 --> 01:06:29,430
You know how long I've known this guy?
Tommy, come with me.
1070
01:06:29,472 --> 01:06:32,180
Yeah, Mike, I'm right behind ya.
I'm sorry about this, C.W.
1071
01:06:32,222 --> 01:06:34,305
I'll make the arrangements.
Stick around.
1072
01:06:51,930 --> 01:06:54,055
Well, well, well.
1073
01:06:54,097 --> 01:06:56,430
if It isn't
Mr. Fast-Talkin' Investigator...
1074
01:06:56,514 --> 01:06:59,514
who got caught with his hand
in the cookie jar.
1075
01:06:59,639 --> 01:07:01,722
Did I really throw you out of bed?
1076
01:07:01,847 --> 01:07:05,055
Why? You planning on using
the insanity defense?
1077
01:07:05,097 --> 01:07:08,305
Listen, honey, I gotta get some help,
and you're gonna help me.
1078
01:07:08,430 --> 01:07:11,014
- Am I?
- Yes.
1079
01:07:11,055 --> 01:07:14,430
- And what makes you think that?
- This is your kind of thing.
1080
01:07:14,514 --> 01:07:16,430
This'll look great on your resume.
1081
01:07:16,514 --> 01:07:20,597
A suspected felon, a daring escape from
police headquarters, broad daylight.
1082
01:07:20,680 --> 01:07:23,222
You like this kind of thing.
1083
01:07:23,305 --> 01:07:25,305
Go over to that top drawer over there.
1084
01:07:25,347 --> 01:07:28,097
They took the handcuffs
outta the second drawer from the left.
1085
01:07:28,139 --> 01:07:30,139
- There's gotta be a key in there.
- Nervous.
1086
01:07:30,180 --> 01:07:33,972
See if there's a key.
Go. Hurry up. Come on.
1087
01:07:34,055 --> 01:07:36,014
Don't- Hur-
Gotta make this fast.
1088
01:07:36,139 --> 01:07:38,097
Otherwise, I'm gonna be-
They'll put me away.
1089
01:07:38,180 --> 01:07:40,722
I'll be showering with all men
for the rest of my life.
1090
01:07:40,764 --> 01:07:43,180
Hey, miss, I'm sorry.
No one's allowed in here.
1091
01:07:44,722 --> 01:07:46,680
You wanna come with me?
1092
01:07:59,264 --> 01:08:01,264
Let's go, miss.
You're not allowed in here.
1093
01:08:01,347 --> 01:08:03,347
Come on. Unless you
wanna get locked up too.
1094
01:08:03,472 --> 01:08:06,930
- I'm sorry things didn't work out, C.W.
- Come on. Let's go.
1095
01:08:06,972 --> 01:08:09,305
- Yeah? You wanna lock me up?
- What's wrong with you?
1096
01:08:09,389 --> 01:08:12,597
- Just take your hands off me!
- Something wrong with you?
1097
01:08:39,555 --> 01:08:43,180
Caroline and I are working on the
details of the separation agreement now.
1098
01:08:43,264 --> 01:08:46,430
I'll be out of the house in two weeks.
The divorce will take longer.
1099
01:08:46,514 --> 01:08:49,139
That's why the agreement
has to be securely in place.
1100
01:08:49,222 --> 01:08:52,430
Otherwise, it could get killed
if we were found together.
1101
01:08:52,514 --> 01:08:55,430
- Where Are you?
- do you think he's really guilty?
1102
01:08:55,514 --> 01:08:59,639
- Is that what you're thinking about?
- I can't shake this uneasy feeling.
1103
01:08:59,722 --> 01:09:01,889
What? That he's innocent?
He was caught red-handed.
1104
01:09:01,972 --> 01:09:04,305
Believe me,
it just doesn't feel right.
1105
01:09:04,389 --> 01:09:07,972
I don't see that snoopy little termite
as a romantic jewel thief.
1106
01:09:08,055 --> 01:09:10,264
Well, I'd hardly call
breaking the law romantic.
1107
01:09:10,430 --> 01:09:12,847
I didn't mean it that way.
1108
01:09:12,889 --> 01:09:15,555
What did you mean? The evidence
against him is overwhelming.
1109
01:09:15,680 --> 01:09:18,722
I don't know what I mean anymore.
1110
01:09:18,805 --> 01:09:20,972
Hello? Yes.
1111
01:09:22,389 --> 01:09:25,472
Yes, he is. Hold on.
1112
01:09:25,555 --> 01:09:27,514
- It's the Coopersmiths.
- Thank you.
1113
01:09:29,014 --> 01:09:30,930
Hello. No.
1114
01:09:32,055 --> 01:09:35,430
Really? Oh- Oh, how?
1115
01:09:37,222 --> 01:09:40,680
Okay. Yes, I certainly will.
1116
01:09:40,764 --> 01:09:44,680
if you had any doubts about his
culpability, this should allay them.
1117
01:09:44,764 --> 01:09:47,222
- He escaped.
- He did?
1118
01:09:47,347 --> 01:09:50,680
Slipped out of the handcuffs and leaped
across to the building next door.
1119
01:09:50,722 --> 01:09:54,430
- C.W. Briggs?
- Like a common burglar.
1120
01:09:54,514 --> 01:09:58,305
I'm starting to realize that none of us
really knew him all these years.
1121
01:09:58,389 --> 01:10:00,305
I have to go down
to police headquarters.
1122
01:10:00,389 --> 01:10:03,097
It looks like your little termite
ate his way out.
1123
01:10:19,597 --> 01:10:21,722
- Did you forget-
- Resist the temptation to scream.
1124
01:10:21,805 --> 01:10:25,097
- What Are you doing here, - you little
jewel thief? - No, I'm not a thief.
1125
01:10:25,180 --> 01:10:27,139
I- I'm suspect.
It's the complete different.
1126
01:10:27,222 --> 01:10:30,055
I'm a very promising suspect,
but I didn't do it,
1127
01:10:30,139 --> 01:10:32,097
and I gotta have time to prove that.
1128
01:10:32,180 --> 01:10:34,597
Other wise, they're gonna lock me up
in a concrete building...
1129
01:10:34,680 --> 01:10:36,930
and you'll only be able
to insult me on visiting days.
1130
01:10:37,014 --> 01:10:40,139
- Why did you come here?
- Because I have no one else to turn to.
1131
01:10:40,222 --> 01:10:42,139
Everybody knows how much you hate me,
1132
01:10:42,222 --> 01:10:44,222
so no one will look for me here.
1133
01:10:44,305 --> 01:10:46,305
I gotta have a place to sleep.
I'm exhausted.
1134
01:10:46,389 --> 01:10:49,180
You can't sleep here.
I couldn't afford the fumigating bills.
1135
01:10:49,222 --> 01:10:51,222
if you wanna call the police,
call the police.
1136
01:10:51,305 --> 01:10:53,889
I don't care.
You know, I'm sleeping here.
1137
01:10:53,972 --> 01:10:55,930
You wanna call 'em, then call 'em.
1138
01:11:02,930 --> 01:11:05,222
Get me the 11 th Precinct.
1139
01:11:30,222 --> 01:11:32,680
- Hello?
- Miss Fitzgerald?
1140
01:11:32,805 --> 01:11:35,847
- Yes?
- Madagascar.
1141
01:11:37,889 --> 01:11:39,972
You are in a deep trance,
1142
01:11:40,055 --> 01:11:44,222
and you will obey each and every command
the Jade Scorpion gives you.
1143
01:11:44,305 --> 01:11:47,014
You will acquire
all the pertinent security data...
1144
01:11:47,055 --> 01:11:49,222
for the Adrian Greenwood mansion.
1145
01:11:49,305 --> 01:11:53,847
You will proceed there,
and after disabling the security system,
1146
01:11:53,930 --> 01:11:56,764
you will remove all the jewels
from the safe,
1147
01:11:56,889 --> 01:11:59,389
obtaining each and every one of them.
1148
01:11:59,472 --> 01:12:03,514
These jewels you will hide
in your apartment. Is this clear?
1149
01:12:03,597 --> 01:12:05,555
Yes.
1150
01:13:04,889 --> 01:13:07,514
What's the matter? Can't sleep?
1151
01:13:07,597 --> 01:13:11,764
No. I've had the strangest dreams.
1152
01:13:11,847 --> 01:13:14,764
That's funny, 'cause I've had some
crazy dreams myself lately.
1153
01:13:14,847 --> 01:13:16,847
I dreamed we were finally together.
1154
01:13:16,930 --> 01:13:19,930
Really? You and Magruder?
It's a match made in heaven.
1155
01:13:20,014 --> 01:13:22,264
By a retarded angel, but in heaven.
1156
01:13:22,347 --> 01:13:26,389
You misunderstand me. I dreamed
you and I finally wound up together.
1157
01:13:26,472 --> 01:13:29,055
You- That's funny,
'cause I didn't hear any screaming.
1158
01:13:29,139 --> 01:13:31,097
From the first minute I met you,
1159
01:13:31,139 --> 01:13:35,472
a voice inside me said I finally found
what I've been searching for my whole life.
1160
01:13:35,555 --> 01:13:38,305
What's that?
A roach, a vermin, a little inchworm?
1161
01:13:38,389 --> 01:13:41,014
A black- Or did I call you
a black widow spider?
1162
01:13:41,097 --> 01:13:45,930
I knew that sooner or later, you and I
would wind up in each other's arms.
1163
01:13:46,014 --> 01:13:48,889
Hey, have you been gargling
with tequila?
1164
01:13:48,930 --> 01:13:53,597
You're a very romantic man.
1165
01:13:54,764 --> 01:13:56,847
What did you smoke before I woke up?
1166
01:13:56,889 --> 01:14:02,347
Suppose I told you I had the most passionate
crush on you I've ever felt for any man.
1167
01:14:02,389 --> 01:14:05,722
I'd fear for my life,
'cause I'd think it was a setup.
1168
01:14:05,764 --> 01:14:09,889
They were playing this song the first time
you and I had drinks together at Rocky's Bar.
1169
01:14:09,972 --> 01:14:12,055
You remember what they were playing
at Rocky's Bar?
1170
01:14:12,139 --> 01:14:14,639
Not that I didn't have
a good time there, but I didn't.
1171
01:14:14,764 --> 01:14:17,889
My passion for you is so intense,
it scares me.
1172
01:14:17,972 --> 01:14:19,930
Can't you see I've submerged it...
1173
01:14:20,014 --> 01:14:23,847
under a mask of hostile acts
and cruel words?
1174
01:14:23,930 --> 01:14:27,180
Don't worry about it, 'cause I-I-I
never really took it seriously.
1175
01:14:27,222 --> 01:14:30,347
When you said you wanted to crush me
like an insect under your heel,
1176
01:14:30,430 --> 01:14:33,139
that was just your way of saying,
"Back off a little. "
1177
01:14:33,264 --> 01:14:35,389
Couldn't you see I was
just protecting myself?
1178
01:14:35,472 --> 01:14:37,805
- Miss Fitzgerald-
- Call me Betty Ann.
1179
01:14:37,889 --> 01:14:41,097
Look, Betty Ann,
I hate to be a killjoy, but, but, uh-
1180
01:14:41,180 --> 01:14:44,430
If this is some kind of scheme
to take adv- it's not very subtle.
1181
01:14:44,514 --> 01:14:48,472
You're the man I'm gonna marry. I've known
it since the first moment I laid eyes on you.
1182
01:14:48,555 --> 01:14:50,472
if you're gonna marry me,
we should call Bellevue.
1183
01:14:50,555 --> 01:14:52,514
You need a little
electric shock, honey.
1184
01:14:52,597 --> 01:14:54,555
- Would you kiss me?
- Me?
1185
01:14:54,597 --> 01:14:57,097
You want me to lay a wet one on you?
1186
01:14:57,222 --> 01:15:00,180
I've always imagined if you took me
in your arms and kissed me,
1187
01:15:00,264 --> 01:15:02,764
I could finally feel those fireworks
people talk about.
1188
01:15:02,847 --> 01:15:06,430
- Is this the way you are - away from
the office? - What Are you thinking?
1189
01:15:06,514 --> 01:15:08,722
I'm thinking that it's a pity
we hate each other.
1190
01:15:08,764 --> 01:15:12,347
- By now, we could have - had a
large family. - I'm gonna swoon.
1191
01:15:12,430 --> 01:15:14,722
Steady, steady.
I affect women this way sometimes.
1192
01:15:14,805 --> 01:15:16,722
- I can't stay awake.
- Easy, easy.
1193
01:15:16,805 --> 01:15:19,847
- I just need to rest - my head
on your shoulder. - Easy, uh-
1194
01:15:19,930 --> 01:15:22,805
I must remember what soap
I used this morning.
1195
01:15:36,347 --> 01:15:40,180
- What the hell Are you doing here?
- Good morning, sweetheart.
1196
01:15:40,222 --> 01:15:42,639
Don't call me sweetheart.
What's going on?
1197
01:15:42,722 --> 01:15:45,222
I stayed awake all last night...
1198
01:15:45,305 --> 01:15:47,722
thinking about all those things
that you said,
1199
01:15:47,764 --> 01:15:50,722
and all of that rang
a very deep bell with me.
1200
01:15:50,805 --> 01:15:53,639
- What?
- There were so many times,
1201
01:15:53,722 --> 01:15:56,389
you know, when we were
arguing in the office,
1202
01:15:56,472 --> 01:15:59,139
and I had the feeling that down deep,
1203
01:15:59,264 --> 01:16:02,097
underneath it all,
you were really crazy about me.
1204
01:16:02,139 --> 01:16:04,680
Crazy about you?
What, were you dropped on your head?
1205
01:16:04,764 --> 01:16:06,847
No, hey, toots, I gotta tell you,
1206
01:16:07,014 --> 01:16:10,430
last night, for a cold fish,
you were hot stuff.
1207
01:16:10,514 --> 01:16:12,472
Listen, buster, don't call me "toots. "
1208
01:16:12,555 --> 01:16:14,472
I don't like it
any better than "sweetheart. "
1209
01:16:14,555 --> 01:16:18,514
I'm not one of those available Annies who
sits on your lap while you give dictation.
1210
01:16:18,639 --> 01:16:21,597
What did you do, sneak in here
and slip into my arms?
1211
01:16:21,680 --> 01:16:26,264
Hey, what's going on? You tried to
undress me last night and kiss me.
1212
01:16:26,347 --> 01:16:29,680
- What Are you talking about? - You came
in here and passed out. - And now the news.
1213
01:16:29,722 --> 01:16:31,722
- I'm confused.
- The elusive jewel thief...
1214
01:16:31,847 --> 01:16:34,722
responsible for robbing the Kensington
and Dillworth fortunes this week...
1215
01:16:34,805 --> 01:16:36,722
has struck again.
1216
01:16:36,805 --> 01:16:41,722
C.W. Briggs, a former employee of North Coast
Fidelity and Casualty Company of New York,
1217
01:16:41,805 --> 01:16:44,555
is the chief suspect in the robbery
of the latest victim,
1218
01:16:44,597 --> 01:16:46,972
Adrian Greenwood of Manhattan.
1219
01:16:47,055 --> 01:16:50,222
The details of the crime were
the same as the first two this week.
1220
01:16:50,305 --> 01:16:52,847
In addition to over
a million dollars in jewelry,
1221
01:16:52,930 --> 01:16:55,472
the thief got away
with a like amount of cash.
1222
01:16:55,555 --> 01:16:58,764
Police had recovered the jewels
from the earlier burglaries,
1223
01:16:58,847 --> 01:17:02,764
which led to the capture and arrest
of the prime suspect, C.W. Briggs.
1224
01:17:02,847 --> 01:17:04,764
So that's why you escaped
from the police.
1225
01:17:04,805 --> 01:17:08,264
Not to try to prove your innocence,
but because you had unfinished business.
1226
01:17:08,430 --> 01:17:10,430
What kind of business?
I was here with you!
1227
01:17:10,555 --> 01:17:14,514
Yeah, well, for some reason, I'm having trouble
remembering all of that, but I was asleep.
1228
01:17:14,555 --> 01:17:17,055
Even if you came here to sleep,
you could have awakened,
1229
01:17:17,180 --> 01:17:19,180
robbed these people and then come back.
1230
01:17:19,264 --> 01:17:21,680
- You just used this as a safe haven!
- I could have,
1231
01:17:21,764 --> 01:17:23,764
but I didn't.
1232
01:17:23,847 --> 01:17:26,347
You tried to undress me and kiss me.
1233
01:17:26,389 --> 01:17:28,347
You are feeding me the wrong lie.
1234
01:17:28,389 --> 01:17:30,680
I've never tried
to undress you in my life,
1235
01:17:30,722 --> 01:17:34,180
and I wouldn't kiss you if we were
marooned on a desert island for 20 years.
1236
01:17:34,222 --> 01:17:37,014
We would never be marooned for 20 years,
'cause after 20 minutes,
1237
01:17:37,055 --> 01:17:39,055
I'd make a bow and arrow and kill you.
1238
01:17:39,139 --> 01:17:43,514
What Are you thinking? I'm marrying
Chris Magruder, for God's sakes.
1239
01:17:43,597 --> 01:17:45,764
- You are?
- Yes.
1240
01:17:45,805 --> 01:17:48,472
We've set a spring date,
as soon as his divorce is final.
1241
01:17:48,555 --> 01:17:51,305
So if I was undressing you
or trying to kiss you,
1242
01:17:51,389 --> 01:17:53,389
I must have multiple personalities.
1243
01:17:53,472 --> 01:17:57,889
if you marry Chris Magruder,
you have multiple stupidity.
1244
01:17:57,930 --> 01:18:00,639
Uh, yeah, it must have been
the booze last night,
1245
01:18:00,722 --> 01:18:03,930
but you were like a changed person,
and a much better one.
1246
01:18:04,055 --> 01:18:08,514
I'm gonna take a shower, and if you're not gone
when I get out, I'm calling my local precinct.
1247
01:18:09,847 --> 01:18:12,389
For one minute,
you dropped your guard.
1248
01:18:12,514 --> 01:18:14,389
You were actually sexy,
1249
01:18:14,472 --> 01:18:16,930
even though when the light
hit you a certain way,
1250
01:18:16,972 --> 01:18:19,097
you, you tend to resemble Mussolini.
1251
01:18:29,656 --> 01:18:32,156
Pretty snazzy for an office worker.
1252
01:18:32,197 --> 01:18:35,822
Boy, Magruder must really
love you in an extravagant way.
1253
01:18:37,614 --> 01:18:41,281
Probably likes going to Paris with you
more than he does with his wife.
1254
01:18:53,406 --> 01:18:55,656
I understand
you and Charlie got something for me.
1255
01:18:55,739 --> 01:18:57,947
I don't know about Charlie,
but I came up with a name.
1256
01:18:58,031 --> 01:19:00,531
Really? Well, hit me. Lay it on me.
1257
01:19:00,572 --> 01:19:03,239
Eddie Polgar.
1258
01:19:03,281 --> 01:19:05,239
Eddie Polgar. Who's that?
1259
01:19:05,281 --> 01:19:08,260
It don't mean a thing to me,
but it's come up twice.
1260
01:19:08,295 --> 01:19:11,239
- Eddie Polgar?
- Yeah, yeah. There's no police record.
1261
01:19:11,281 --> 01:19:15,072
Could be an alias.
I don't know. It's all I could get.
1262
01:19:15,107 --> 01:19:17,114
Hey, hey, hey. Blue men coming.
1263
01:19:17,197 --> 01:19:19,156
Keep moving. Keep moving!
1264
01:19:21,239 --> 01:19:23,406
- Charlie.
- C.W., is that you?
1265
01:19:23,572 --> 01:19:26,739
- I got a message you wanted me.
- You're hot as a pistol.
1266
01:19:26,781 --> 01:19:30,697
"Hot"? The New York City Police want
to give me a lifetime achievement award.
1267
01:19:31,989 --> 01:19:35,114
Name Eddie Polgar
mean anything to you?
1268
01:19:35,239 --> 01:19:39,281
- Zero.
- Nothin'. I can't get a break, no matter what I do.
1269
01:19:39,364 --> 01:19:42,364
- Stick your hand in the cup.
- In the cup?
1270
01:19:42,406 --> 01:19:45,072
In the cup. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1271
01:19:45,156 --> 01:19:48,114
Yeah.
1272
01:19:48,156 --> 01:19:50,447
Thirty- eight cents and a wad of paper.
1273
01:19:50,531 --> 01:19:53,281
Oh, and somebody threw their gum away
in your business establishment.
1274
01:19:53,406 --> 01:19:55,822
Well, open the wad of paper.
1275
01:19:57,072 --> 01:19:59,197
- Why?
- It's a clue.
1276
01:19:59,281 --> 01:20:02,072
- What kind of clue?
- From last night's heist.
1277
01:20:02,114 --> 01:20:05,072
Coopersmiths found it
on the driveway on the property.
1278
01:20:08,197 --> 01:20:11,947
- Charlie, wh-
- The burglar dropped it getting away.
1279
01:20:12,031 --> 01:20:14,739
- How'd you get it?
- I got a friend, who's got a friend...
1280
01:20:14,822 --> 01:20:18,322
who works in the same building
as the Coopersmith Agency.
1281
01:20:18,406 --> 01:20:20,947
- I thought maybe you'd want it.
- Charlie, this is-
1282
01:20:21,031 --> 01:20:23,406
These earrings are grand larceny.
1283
01:20:23,447 --> 01:20:25,989
I see by the look on your face
I must've helped you.
1284
01:20:28,072 --> 01:20:30,531
Cherchezla femme.
You know what that means, Charlie?
1285
01:20:30,656 --> 01:20:33,364
- What?
- Find the woman.
1286
01:20:33,447 --> 01:20:38,114
- Is there a woman?
- Well, first I thought so.
1287
01:20:38,197 --> 01:20:41,572
Then I didn't.
Now I think I got her.
1288
01:20:42,864 --> 01:20:44,822
You work next to a person for years,
1289
01:20:44,906 --> 01:20:46,822
and then one day
the temptation's too great.
1290
01:20:46,906 --> 01:20:49,697
- I don't believe it. Not C.W. -
It doesn't make sense. - Why not?
1291
01:20:49,739 --> 01:20:53,197
Jill, I don't think any of us
expected it, but there is proof now.
1292
01:20:53,322 --> 01:20:55,822
You heard Fitzgerald saw the jewels
sittin' in his apartment, right?
1293
01:20:55,906 --> 01:20:59,322
Yeah, and how he fought the cops
when they got the key to his locker.
1294
01:20:59,447 --> 01:21:01,364
- To me it's open-and-shut.
- What?
1295
01:21:01,406 --> 01:21:05,364
- You don't run from the police - if
you're innocent. - That's what I'm sayin'.
1296
01:21:05,447 --> 01:21:08,406
What about the nerve it took
to strike twice? Come on, guys.
1297
01:21:08,447 --> 01:21:13,072
C.W. deserves some credit.
He turned out to be a pretty gutsy guy.
1298
01:21:16,572 --> 01:21:20,072
Hello. Where Are you?
1299
01:21:20,156 --> 01:21:23,822
Never mind where I am.
I gotta get up to the office.
1300
01:21:25,197 --> 01:21:28,864
I- I think there's more people
involved in this thing.
1301
01:21:28,947 --> 01:21:32,197
I- I-I-I think that Fitzgerald
is behind it.
1302
01:21:32,239 --> 01:21:34,697
Does the name...
1303
01:21:34,739 --> 01:21:37,781
Eddie Polgar mean anything to you?
1304
01:21:37,906 --> 01:21:39,322
No.
1305
01:21:39,406 --> 01:21:41,406
Look, I gotta get up to the office.
1306
01:21:41,531 --> 01:21:43,531
I wanna get through
the Coopersmiths' report.
1307
01:21:43,614 --> 01:21:47,781
I wanna check it out, and I wanna
check out Fitzgerald's desk again.
1308
01:21:56,906 --> 01:21:58,906
There's no question about it.
1309
01:21:58,947 --> 01:22:02,031
Fitzgerald is involved in this thing
up to her neck.
1310
01:22:02,114 --> 01:22:06,156
You can't let this woman and your
feelings for her color your judgment.
1311
01:22:06,239 --> 01:22:08,697
It has nothing to do
with my feelings for her.
1312
01:22:08,739 --> 01:22:11,072
It's the only thing
that makes any sense.
1313
01:22:11,156 --> 01:22:14,864
I go over to her house because I figured
no one will look for me there...
1314
01:22:14,947 --> 01:22:16,906
'cause she hates me so.
1315
01:22:16,989 --> 01:22:20,739
I go to sleep. In the middle of the
night, I hear a noise, and I wake up.
1316
01:22:20,822 --> 01:22:24,531
I find her. I figure,
"All right, so she can't sleep either. "
1317
01:22:24,572 --> 01:22:26,572
But no. That's not what it is.
1318
01:22:26,656 --> 01:22:30,947
She had done the Greenwood heist, and
she was coming back, and I caught her.
1319
01:22:31,031 --> 01:22:33,781
So naturally she starts
to act very peculiar.
1320
01:22:33,822 --> 01:22:35,947
You know, she starts to-
I trap her.
1321
01:22:36,031 --> 01:22:38,697
So she starts seducing me
with her feminine wiles.
1322
01:22:38,781 --> 01:22:41,864
- Meaning what?
- Meaning all of a sudden I'm handsome...
1323
01:22:41,906 --> 01:22:44,489
and I'm gorgeous and she
can't take her hands off-
1324
01:22:44,614 --> 01:22:46,697
Does that sound like Fitzgerald to you,
1325
01:22:46,781 --> 01:22:50,697
or a schemer trying
to play me for a sucker?
1326
01:22:50,822 --> 01:22:55,489
Actually, it sounds like that magic show
demonstration by Voltan Polgar.
1327
01:22:55,531 --> 01:22:58,322
That's right.
That was the night of the first robbery.
1328
01:22:58,406 --> 01:23:01,364
I don't know, C.W. I think
she has some real feelings for you.
1329
01:23:01,406 --> 01:23:03,947
Don't be ridiculous.
She hates me.
1330
01:23:04,072 --> 01:23:07,822
Wh- Wh-What is the name you said
of, of the magician...
1331
01:23:07,947 --> 01:23:10,656
who now I've completely repressed?
1332
01:23:10,739 --> 01:23:12,822
Uh, Voltan.
1333
01:23:12,906 --> 01:23:16,072
Voltan the Inscrutable.
The Jade Scorpion.
1334
01:23:16,156 --> 01:23:19,281
- What is his name?
- Voltan Polgar.
1335
01:23:19,406 --> 01:23:21,947
Eli Voytak Polgar.
1336
01:23:23,864 --> 01:23:26,322
I'm... just theorizing...
1337
01:23:26,447 --> 01:23:30,364
on an incredible
sequence of events.
1338
01:23:30,447 --> 01:23:34,156
You look like my Uncle Jerry right after
the United Parcel truck hit him.
1339
01:23:34,281 --> 01:23:38,697
What happened? I know you described
this before, but, but what happened?
1340
01:23:38,781 --> 01:23:42,447
Th- They brought me on stage-
brought me onstage.
1341
01:23:42,531 --> 01:23:46,031
He put you into a trance-
rather easily, despite your resistance.
1342
01:23:46,114 --> 01:23:48,197
Right. Yes. And then-
1343
01:23:48,239 --> 01:23:51,947
And then he brought Fitzgerald,
who was with me at the time-
1344
01:23:52,072 --> 01:23:55,572
And then you were awakened
in a posthypnotic state...
1345
01:23:55,739 --> 01:23:58,572
with a word that would, uh,
put you back under again.
1346
01:23:58,656 --> 01:24:02,031
Constantinople. Yeah,
then he started making these-
1347
01:24:06,822 --> 01:24:10,406
C.W.? C.W.?
1348
01:24:10,447 --> 01:24:12,447
Yes?
1349
01:24:12,489 --> 01:24:14,531
You okay?
1350
01:24:14,572 --> 01:24:18,781
I'm fine, Alvin.
How's your aging mother?
1351
01:24:18,822 --> 01:24:22,364
Obviously, he was never
released from the keyword.
1352
01:24:22,447 --> 01:24:25,031
Wake him up, George.
This is scary.
1353
01:24:25,114 --> 01:24:28,489
Don't be scared.
This stuff's right up my alley.
1354
01:24:28,572 --> 01:24:32,072
All right. Now, when I snap my fingers,
you will awaken.
1355
01:24:32,156 --> 01:24:36,406
Uh, you'll have no memory of what
has occurred. Is that clear to you?
1356
01:24:36,447 --> 01:24:38,531
- Yes.
- And you'll awaken...
1357
01:24:38,572 --> 01:24:40,822
feeling happy and, and, and refreshed.
1358
01:24:40,906 --> 01:24:43,281
- Is that clear?
- Yes.
1359
01:24:45,239 --> 01:24:47,156
So, the guy gets me onstage.
1360
01:24:47,239 --> 01:24:50,156
- Now, then what? - What took
place after that? - Wait a minute.
1361
01:24:50,239 --> 01:24:52,322
I have an idea. Constantinople.
1362
01:24:55,406 --> 01:24:57,406
My God. What a sense of power.
1363
01:24:57,489 --> 01:24:59,989
do you think that you can get him
to recall everything...
1364
01:25:00,114 --> 01:25:03,156
- and then set him loose - from
the trance for good? - All right.
1365
01:25:03,281 --> 01:25:06,489
Now, when I snap my fingers,
you will awaken.
1366
01:25:06,572 --> 01:25:09,531
Your memory will be clear-
crystal clear.
1367
01:25:09,572 --> 01:25:13,322
All the events of the past week
will come to you vividly...
1368
01:25:13,406 --> 01:25:15,447
and with no distraction.
1369
01:25:15,531 --> 01:25:17,906
You'll be completely freed
from your trance,
1370
01:25:17,947 --> 01:25:20,031
and the mention
of the word Constantinople...
1371
01:25:20,072 --> 01:25:22,031
will have absolutely no meaning to you.
1372
01:25:22,072 --> 01:25:25,989
It will not put you back
into your hypnotic state.
1373
01:25:27,281 --> 01:25:30,072
One: You're coming out of it.
1374
01:25:30,156 --> 01:25:34,572
Two: Your memories of
the past week are coming back.
1375
01:25:34,614 --> 01:25:37,239
Three: You're fully awake.
1376
01:25:39,447 --> 01:25:43,281
- I took the jewels! - The-
The Kensington jewels. - What?
1377
01:25:43,364 --> 01:25:45,697
And the Dill- Yes.
Yes, and of course.
1378
01:25:45,739 --> 01:25:48,822
And then he probably tried to get me-
couldn't get me, so he-
1379
01:25:48,947 --> 01:25:51,114
The Greenwood thing was her. Wha-
1380
01:25:51,156 --> 01:25:53,656
What is Fitzgerald's keyword?
1381
01:25:53,781 --> 01:25:55,781
Madagascar.
1382
01:25:55,864 --> 01:25:59,072
The Jade Scorpion
wants you to get the jewels.
1383
01:25:59,156 --> 01:26:03,697
Wrap them in plain brown paper
and bring them to him.
1384
01:26:03,781 --> 01:26:06,239
Mark down the following address
in Chinatown.
1385
01:26:39,531 --> 01:26:41,489
Miss Fitzgerald?
1386
01:26:42,781 --> 01:26:44,739
Miss Fitzgerald?
1387
01:26:47,031 --> 01:26:49,031
Miss Fitzgerald?
1388
01:27:00,031 --> 01:27:02,822
Sergeant, his name is Voltan Polgar.
1389
01:27:02,906 --> 01:27:05,281
Somebody just gave me
an address on him.
1390
01:27:23,364 --> 01:27:25,614
Oh, Miss Fitzgerald.
1391
01:27:25,697 --> 01:27:27,906
The Jade Scorpion welcomes you.
1392
01:27:27,989 --> 01:27:30,656
- You have my package.
- Yes.
1393
01:27:33,197 --> 01:27:35,114
Thank you.
1394
01:27:35,239 --> 01:27:38,239
You will now return home.
You will go to sleep.
1395
01:27:38,281 --> 01:27:41,781
It will be a wonderful sleep
from which you will awaken cheerfully,
1396
01:27:41,864 --> 01:27:44,156
and you will remember nothing
of these events.
1397
01:27:44,281 --> 01:27:46,947
In fact, you will have no memory
of any of this ever.
1398
01:27:56,239 --> 01:28:01,364
I was just passing through.
I... thought I'd... say hello.
1399
01:28:01,447 --> 01:28:03,406
- C.W. Briggs.
- Yeah.
1400
01:28:03,447 --> 01:28:05,614
I seem to have underestimated you.
1401
01:28:05,697 --> 01:28:08,739
Story of my life.
Everybody underestimates me.
1402
01:28:08,822 --> 01:28:10,947
They- You know,
they think I'm a pushover.
1403
01:28:11,031 --> 01:28:13,197
It makes my work much easier.
1404
01:28:13,281 --> 01:28:16,822
I- I've seen some pretty exotic schemes,
Polgar, but this one was a beauty.
1405
01:28:16,906 --> 01:28:20,364
But I figured it out.
That's why I get top dollar.
1406
01:28:20,406 --> 01:28:25,031
Don't force me to take
extreme measures, Mr. Briggs.
1407
01:28:25,114 --> 01:28:27,072
You'd never pull that trigger.
1408
01:28:27,156 --> 01:28:29,114
Really? You think not. Why?
1409
01:28:29,197 --> 01:28:32,572
Murder's not your game. I have
just an instinct that tells me that.
1410
01:28:32,656 --> 01:28:34,614
You know, you're a jewel thief.
1411
01:28:34,697 --> 01:28:37,739
There's a big difference between doing
a little time for stealing jewels...
1412
01:28:37,822 --> 01:28:40,781
and, you know, frying
in the electric chair.
1413
01:28:40,864 --> 01:28:44,864
Once they pump 200 million volts
of electricity through your body,
1414
01:28:44,947 --> 01:28:48,572
you have a tendency to spend
the rest of your days in an ashtray.
1415
01:29:04,781 --> 01:29:07,114
For a minute, I thought
I overplayed my hand.
1416
01:29:13,864 --> 01:29:15,906
You're the bravest, most brilliant,
1417
01:29:15,947 --> 01:29:18,031
most courageous man I've ever met,
1418
01:29:18,114 --> 01:29:21,614
and I would go to the end
of the earth with you.
1419
01:29:21,656 --> 01:29:25,489
You know, everybody should have somebody
that they feel that way about.
1420
01:29:25,572 --> 01:29:28,489
It's- It's- You know, it's such
a shame that you're gonna have to...
1421
01:29:28,572 --> 01:29:32,489
actually wake up from this,
this fabulous illusion.
1422
01:29:34,239 --> 01:29:36,489
Just-Just once...
1423
01:29:36,572 --> 01:29:40,614
before the ugly curtain of reality...
1424
01:29:40,739 --> 01:29:42,697
drops on both of us.
1425
01:29:57,947 --> 01:29:59,864
Oh, you kiss great.
1426
01:30:06,364 --> 01:30:09,697
- What a wrap-up, huh? - Did you see
the look - on Herb Coopersmith's face?
1427
01:30:09,781 --> 01:30:11,739
- Serves him right.
- Hey, Al.
1428
01:30:11,781 --> 01:30:13,781
Where do you think Miss Fitzgerald
and Mr. Magruder...
1429
01:30:13,906 --> 01:30:15,906
are gonna go
for their romantic getaway?
1430
01:30:16,031 --> 01:30:19,614
His divorce doesn't come through for
months. I hear his wife couldn't care less.
1431
01:30:19,697 --> 01:30:21,572
- I hear they're gettin' married in June.
- No.
1432
01:30:21,656 --> 01:30:23,697
I think I heard him
talking about going to Paris.
1433
01:30:23,739 --> 01:30:25,656
Paris? Wow!
1434
01:30:28,947 --> 01:30:32,114
Mr. Magruder, I'm-
I just came to say I'm leaving.
1435
01:30:32,156 --> 01:30:36,281
Ah, C.W. Well, what can I say?
We all make mistakes, huh?
1436
01:30:36,364 --> 01:30:39,947
'Course, you've gotta admit, they did
have a pretty strong case against you.
1437
01:30:40,031 --> 01:30:42,864
- I don't know.
- I know you could get a job anywhere.
1438
01:30:42,947 --> 01:30:44,906
if you decide to go,
you'll have our blessings.
1439
01:30:44,947 --> 01:30:46,906
if you stay, you'll have a raise,
1440
01:30:46,947 --> 01:30:49,739
and I'll see to it Miss Fitzgerald
keeps out of your way.
1441
01:30:49,781 --> 01:30:53,739
Between us boys, once we marry, she's
gonna retire whether she wants to or not.
1442
01:30:53,781 --> 01:30:57,739
I'm not having a wife at work
in my own office, for good measure.
1443
01:30:57,781 --> 01:31:00,947
Well, think positively. I'll be away
for a couple of weeks myself.
1444
01:31:01,031 --> 01:31:03,031
Miss Fitzgerald and I
are going to Paris.
1445
01:31:03,114 --> 01:31:05,531
- Oh, yes? The actual city?
- Huh?
1446
01:31:05,572 --> 01:31:07,739
- No. Nothing.
- You need a vacation.
1447
01:31:07,822 --> 01:31:10,781
Why don't you see if you can get
that Laura Kensington girl to go with?
1448
01:31:10,906 --> 01:31:13,114
I wouldn't mind
some of that action myself.
1449
01:31:13,156 --> 01:31:15,072
She seems struck by you.
1450
01:31:15,197 --> 01:31:20,364
She's a little demented, but, in
a hotel room, that can be a lot of fun.
1451
01:31:24,614 --> 01:31:26,572
Just came to say good-bye.
1452
01:31:26,614 --> 01:31:29,656
Right. Chris and I
have a plane to catch.
1453
01:31:29,697 --> 01:31:32,989
No, by good-bye I mean I'm leaving.
I'm quitting.
1454
01:31:34,072 --> 01:31:36,031
Oh?
1455
01:31:36,114 --> 01:31:39,572
Should make you very happy.
You can en joy your vacation now.
1456
01:31:39,614 --> 01:31:42,697
'Cause when you come back,
you don't have to see me again.
1457
01:31:42,781 --> 01:31:45,281
You can revamp everything here.
No static.
1458
01:31:48,447 --> 01:31:50,989
Want to have a parting drink?
1459
01:31:51,114 --> 01:31:53,364
A drink at 10:00 in the morning?
1460
01:31:54,781 --> 01:31:57,239
It's only tequila.
1461
01:31:57,281 --> 01:32:03,072
What can you say about a woman who keeps
a bottle of Mexican booze in her desk?
1462
01:32:03,114 --> 01:32:06,364
Let's drink to both of our futures.
1463
01:32:06,447 --> 01:32:09,239
Yeah?
1464
01:32:09,281 --> 01:32:12,697
Today, Mr. Magruder.
Tomorrow, the world.
1465
01:32:12,739 --> 01:32:15,447
I will let that pass
because this is good-bye.
1466
01:32:15,531 --> 01:32:18,447
Mm. You're really gonna marry him?
1467
01:32:18,489 --> 01:32:20,406
I- I- You know.
1468
01:32:20,489 --> 01:32:22,906
For a brilliant woman, I gotta say,
1469
01:32:23,072 --> 01:32:26,239
you have the worst taste in men.
1470
01:32:26,281 --> 01:32:29,239
I didn't take up with you.
How bad could my taste be?
1471
01:32:31,114 --> 01:32:34,406
You know, behind-
underneath all those nasty remarks...
1472
01:32:34,489 --> 01:32:37,656
is a very vulnerable,
sweet, sexy woman.
1473
01:32:37,739 --> 01:32:39,614
But don't ever let it come out,
1474
01:32:39,697 --> 01:32:42,781
because, you know, you could
run the risk of being happy,
1475
01:32:42,864 --> 01:32:44,781
and I know that would kill ya.
1476
01:32:44,822 --> 01:32:46,822
Chris and I plan
on being very happy.
1477
01:32:46,906 --> 01:32:49,531
Your instinct told you
he would never leave his wife.
1478
01:32:49,614 --> 01:32:52,614
My instincts are good,
but they're not infallible.
1479
01:32:52,697 --> 01:32:55,781
So this was one where I was wrong.
1480
01:32:55,906 --> 01:32:58,031
Have a- Have a terrific
rest of your life...
1481
01:32:58,197 --> 01:33:00,822
and try not to jump
out of any windows.
1482
01:33:00,906 --> 01:33:03,239
Make sure the elevator's there
before you get in,
1483
01:33:03,281 --> 01:33:07,239
because I heard of a man who plunged
15 stories and wound up a vegetable.
1484
01:33:07,281 --> 01:33:10,239
I'll let that pass
'cause this is good-bye.
1485
01:33:14,864 --> 01:33:17,031
- That's what she said-
- Hey, Briggsie, I was just tellin' 'em.
1486
01:33:17,072 --> 01:33:19,156
You quit, I go with ya.
1487
01:33:19,239 --> 01:33:22,906
That's right. C.W., you are
our hero. This was a tough nut to crack.
1488
01:33:22,989 --> 01:33:24,906
No, this was all luck.
1489
01:33:24,989 --> 01:33:27,739
If George didn't know
magic or hypnosis,
1490
01:33:27,781 --> 01:33:29,947
you know,
I never would have known anything.
1491
01:33:30,072 --> 01:33:32,031
It's an amazing thing.
1492
01:33:32,072 --> 01:33:35,531
You can actually put somebody under and then
force them to do the most outrageous things.
1493
01:33:35,614 --> 01:33:37,572
That is absolutely wrong.
1494
01:33:37,614 --> 01:33:41,239
A person will not do anything under
hypnosis that they wouldn't do in real life.
1495
01:33:41,281 --> 01:33:43,406
- Is that true? - Yeah.
- What Are you saying?
1496
01:33:43,489 --> 01:33:45,614
Th- Th-That I'm, at heart, a thief?
1497
01:33:45,697 --> 01:33:50,197
Well, we know there's
a little bit of larceny in you.
1498
01:33:50,281 --> 01:33:53,364
I mean, you're the one who's always
saying it takes one to catch one.
1499
01:33:53,406 --> 01:33:56,531
Oh, well, there's also a little bit
of larceny in Miss Fitzgerald.
1500
01:33:56,614 --> 01:33:58,614
I mean, that was kind of a shock.
1501
01:33:58,656 --> 01:34:02,406
- There's a lot of surprises in her,
- it turns out. - Hey, come here.
1502
01:34:02,572 --> 01:34:04,864
Hey.
1503
01:34:04,989 --> 01:34:07,447
You got a little crush
on her, don't ya?
1504
01:34:07,531 --> 01:34:09,822
Who? Fitzgerald? What, Are you-
1505
01:34:09,906 --> 01:34:13,489
- What Are you talking about?
- Well, come on. I've always known it.
1506
01:34:13,572 --> 01:34:15,572
You can't hate somebody that much
without there being...
1507
01:34:15,656 --> 01:34:17,864
at least a little bit of attraction
underneath it all.
1508
01:34:17,947 --> 01:34:20,822
- Says who?
- It's my instinct. Against all logic.
1509
01:34:20,906 --> 01:34:23,822
Come on, Briggsie. You were the one
who taught me to trust it.
1510
01:34:25,947 --> 01:34:28,364
I think I'm in love with her, but I-
1511
01:34:28,447 --> 01:34:31,947
It's the stupidest thing that's ever
happened to me. It's embarrassing.
1512
01:34:31,989 --> 01:34:34,864
Yeah, well, uh, you better take
the bull by the horns.
1513
01:34:34,947 --> 01:34:36,781
She's out of here in about
three minutes. Look.
1514
01:34:41,572 --> 01:34:43,447
Go!
1515
01:34:48,114 --> 01:34:51,656
Miss Fitzgerald,
marry me.
1516
01:34:51,739 --> 01:34:54,281
- What?
- I guess C.W.'s had a few.
1517
01:34:54,364 --> 01:34:57,572
- Pretty early for that, don't you think?
- I've had a little tequila, but-
1518
01:34:57,656 --> 01:34:59,739
Otherwise I wouldn't have
the nerve to say this.
1519
01:34:59,822 --> 01:35:01,739
I'm in love with you.
I want you to marry me.
1520
01:35:01,822 --> 01:35:03,739
Mr. Briggs, you're embarrassing me.
1521
01:35:03,822 --> 01:35:06,572
You don't want to spend the rest of
your life with the wrong person...
1522
01:35:06,656 --> 01:35:09,572
- when it's me you really love.
- C.W., you're making her uncomfortable.
1523
01:35:09,656 --> 01:35:14,239
Whatever could make you think I could, in my
wildest dreams, think of you that way, you-
1524
01:35:14,322 --> 01:35:17,197
Yeah, I know. " Nearsighted little
cockroach, " or something like that.
1525
01:35:17,281 --> 01:35:19,697
But can't you see the venom under that?
That's the beauty.
1526
01:35:19,781 --> 01:35:21,906
Betty, let's go.
C.W. leave here at once.
1527
01:35:22,031 --> 01:35:25,281
I think your idea of moving
on professionally wasn't so crazy.
1528
01:35:25,364 --> 01:35:27,322
Hey, look, I'm opening up to you.
1529
01:35:27,447 --> 01:35:29,406
I'm putting my heart in your hands.
1530
01:35:29,447 --> 01:35:32,822
I've been difficult because
I feared you, just like you feared me.
1531
01:35:32,906 --> 01:35:36,072
Because underneath, we know this is
the real thing, and it terrifies us.
1532
01:35:36,197 --> 01:35:38,197
Yes, I fear you.
You and Boris Karloff.
1533
01:35:38,281 --> 01:35:40,239
Out of the way, C.W.
1534
01:35:40,281 --> 01:35:42,697
Your heroics do not entitle you
to be an obnoxious boor.
1535
01:35:42,739 --> 01:35:45,656
How can a man confessing love
be an obnoxious boor?
1536
01:35:45,739 --> 01:35:48,739
I'm afraid Betty and I have big plans,
1537
01:35:48,822 --> 01:35:50,822
and they don't include you.
1538
01:35:50,906 --> 01:35:53,822
I- I- You wanna spend the rest of
your life married to the wrong guy?
1539
01:35:53,906 --> 01:35:56,864
What makes you think I'd marry you
even if I wasn't gonna marry him?
1540
01:35:56,947 --> 01:35:59,864
- Stop talking about me - like I'm
not here. - Because it's me you love.
1541
01:35:59,906 --> 01:36:03,156
You are too old for me.
You are too nearsighted for me.
1542
01:36:03,239 --> 01:36:05,781
- You're too short for me.
- You're leaving out the best part.
1543
01:36:05,822 --> 01:36:09,031
- I'm also losing my hair.
- All right, C.W. Good-bye.
1544
01:36:09,114 --> 01:36:11,406
- And I mean for good.
- Wait- Wait a minute.
1545
01:36:11,489 --> 01:36:14,864
Betty Ann.
Betty Ann, where Are you going?
1546
01:36:14,906 --> 01:36:18,864
- Madagascar?
- Someone call the plane and tell them we might be late.
1547
01:36:20,822 --> 01:36:22,864
You go ahead, Chris.
1548
01:36:24,531 --> 01:36:26,531
I'm staying here.
1549
01:36:26,614 --> 01:36:28,947
What?
1550
01:36:29,031 --> 01:36:30,947
I'm staying with C.W.
1551
01:36:32,114 --> 01:36:34,031
We have an announcement to make.
1552
01:36:36,072 --> 01:36:39,739
Betty Ann, you have
a crazy look in your eye.
1553
01:36:39,822 --> 01:36:42,614
I've never felt
so normal in my life.
1554
01:36:42,697 --> 01:36:46,989
I can't guarantee that every time
I kiss you there's gonna be fireworks.
1555
01:36:47,072 --> 01:36:50,989
I think I fell in love with you
the first second I laid eyes on you.
1556
01:36:51,072 --> 01:36:54,031
I want this woman helped!
Get an ambulance!
1557
01:36:54,114 --> 01:36:57,572
Uh, Miss Burke. Call my wife's attorney.
Have him halt the separation.
1558
01:36:57,656 --> 01:37:00,364
- I see trouble on the horizon.
- Don't worry, Mr. Magruder.
1559
01:37:00,406 --> 01:37:03,864
She'll take you back. There'll be a few
new ground rules, but you can adapt.
1560
01:37:03,947 --> 01:37:06,739
- Gosh, so much passion - in a
lousy insurance office. - I know.
1561
01:37:06,822 --> 01:37:08,739
- No kiddin'.
- You never know.
1562
01:37:09,864 --> 01:37:12,364
Hey. Congratulations.
1563
01:37:14,156 --> 01:37:16,239
A little, uh,
going- away present forya.
1564
01:37:19,322 --> 01:37:21,656
So, should we...
1565
01:37:21,739 --> 01:37:26,489
get out of here and find someplace where
we can start making up for lost time?
1566
01:37:26,572 --> 01:37:29,072
How about my place?
1567
01:37:29,156 --> 01:37:31,614
I think I can live with that.
1568
01:37:31,656 --> 01:37:33,781
Um, God bless everyone,
1569
01:37:33,906 --> 01:37:37,072
and, uh, God bless Tiny Tim.
1570
01:37:37,197 --> 01:37:39,572
- Shall we?
- Good luck, you two.
1571
01:37:41,822 --> 01:37:44,031
Hey, so, what's gonna happen
when she, you know,
1572
01:37:44,114 --> 01:37:46,281
wakes up and she's back
to her old self?
1573
01:37:46,322 --> 01:37:49,906
Guess the first word out of his mouth
every morning has to be " Madagascar. "
1574
01:37:49,947 --> 01:37:52,697
My gosh, who'd have thunk it.
1575
01:37:52,781 --> 01:37:55,031
Hey, what a break for C.W.
that in all the commotion...
1576
01:37:55,072 --> 01:37:57,447
you forgot to deprogram
Miss Fitzgerald, huh?
1577
01:37:57,531 --> 01:38:03,031
What are you talking about? I didn't forget
anything. I deprogrammed her last night.
1578
01:38:03,114 --> 01:38:05,531
You don't have to worry.
I'll never leave you.
1579
01:38:05,614 --> 01:38:07,656
It's something you don't even
have to think about.
1580
01:38:07,739 --> 01:38:09,656
Tell me how you feel about me.
1581
01:38:09,739 --> 01:38:15,614
You're the most wonderful man in the world
- the handsomest, the most brilliant, the sexiest.
1582
01:38:15,697 --> 01:38:18,364
You know, someday I'm gonna
make you feel those things.
1583
01:38:18,447 --> 01:38:20,447
Just, just really feel them.
1584
01:38:20,531 --> 01:38:22,489
Anything's possible.
1585
01:38:22,490 --> 01:38:27,190
I made you feel thay way,
and I didn't even have to say Constantinople
141889
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