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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,274 --> 00:00:07,534 You're on a desert island. 2 00:00:07,608 --> 00:00:09,835 You can bring five books. Which five do you take? 3 00:00:09,911 --> 00:00:11,535 I gotta read five books? 4 00:00:11,612 --> 00:00:13,839 All right, one. 5 00:00:14,815 --> 00:00:16,405 Come on. 6 00:00:16,484 --> 00:00:18,074 I got it. Three Musketeers. 7 00:00:18,152 --> 00:00:20,982 - You've read that? - No, I'm saving it for the island. 8 00:00:21,055 --> 00:00:23,783 All right, let's start this whole thing over. 9 00:00:23,858 --> 00:00:26,688 Best Chamberlain: Wilt, Richard, or Neville? 10 00:00:26,761 --> 00:00:27,850 For the desert island? 11 00:00:27,929 --> 00:00:29,792 - Okay. - Richard. 12 00:00:29,864 --> 00:00:31,761 You know, he was in The Three Musketeers. 13 00:00:31,832 --> 00:00:34,162 Exactly. Save me having to read the book. 14 00:00:34,702 --> 00:00:36,565 What's going on over there? 15 00:00:36,637 --> 00:00:39,331 I don't know. I gotta see somebody. 16 00:00:44,645 --> 00:00:47,714 So, Marcy, you should have seen me in the hot tub today. 17 00:00:48,349 --> 00:00:50,178 - Why? - I was naked. 18 00:00:50,251 --> 00:00:52,751 - Oh, George. - I saw it. 19 00:00:52,820 --> 00:00:56,048 - How'd he look? - Okay. I wouldn't see it again. 20 00:00:56,657 --> 00:01:00,090 A friend of mine thought she got Legionnaires' disease in a hot tub. 21 00:01:00,161 --> 00:01:01,353 Really, what happened? 22 00:01:01,429 --> 00:01:03,759 Yada, yada, yada. Just some bad egg salad. 23 00:01:03,831 --> 00:01:05,296 I'll be right back. 24 00:01:08,302 --> 00:01:10,233 - Nice girl. - Lovely. 25 00:01:10,304 --> 00:01:12,429 I notice she's big on the phrase, "Yada, yada." 26 00:01:12,506 --> 00:01:14,597 - Is "yada yada" bad? - No, "yada yada"'s good. 27 00:01:14,675 --> 00:01:17,073 - She's very succinct. - She is succinct. 28 00:01:17,144 --> 00:01:19,075 Yeah, it's like you're dating USA Today. 29 00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:22,273 - Hey. - Hey, Tim. 30 00:01:22,350 --> 00:01:25,351 - George, you know Tim Whatley. - Yeah, dentist to the stars. 31 00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:29,285 - What's up? - I'll tell you what's up. I'm a Jew. 32 00:01:30,124 --> 00:01:31,657 - Excuse me? - I'm a Jew. 33 00:01:31,726 --> 00:01:33,657 I finished converting two days ago. 34 00:01:34,061 --> 00:01:37,653 Oh, well, welcome aboard. 35 00:01:39,333 --> 00:01:42,698 - Thanks. So I'll see you tomorrow? - Yeah, I have a cavity, lower left. 36 00:01:42,770 --> 00:01:44,963 - Were you just at the health club? - Oh, yeah. 37 00:01:45,039 --> 00:01:47,437 - We must have just missed you. - I didn't do much. 38 00:01:47,508 --> 00:01:48,870 I just sat in the sauna. 39 00:01:48,943 --> 00:01:51,773 You know, it was more like a Jewish workout. 40 00:01:51,846 --> 00:01:53,345 I'll see you. 41 00:01:58,386 --> 00:02:02,013 Elaine, the guy's Jewish two days. He's already making Jewish jokes. 42 00:02:02,690 --> 00:02:07,124 So what? When someone turns 21, they usually get drunk the first night. 43 00:02:07,194 --> 00:02:08,955 Booze is not a religion. 44 00:02:09,030 --> 00:02:10,563 Tell that to my father. 45 00:02:11,899 --> 00:02:14,695 Anyway, guess what. Beth Lookner called me. 46 00:02:14,769 --> 00:02:17,963 Beth Lookner. I'm still waiting out that marriage. 47 00:02:18,139 --> 00:02:21,640 What are you talking about? That marriage ended six months ago. 48 00:02:21,709 --> 00:02:23,401 She's already remarried. 49 00:02:23,677 --> 00:02:25,210 Where was I? 50 00:02:26,080 --> 00:02:27,477 It was when you were engaged. 51 00:02:27,548 --> 00:02:31,243 Oh, I gotta get on that Internet. I'm late on everything. 52 00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:35,320 Anyway, so Beth and her new husband, Arnie... 53 00:02:35,389 --> 00:02:38,686 have listed me as a reference for an adoption agency. 54 00:02:38,759 --> 00:02:40,156 They're trying to get a baby. 55 00:02:40,227 --> 00:02:43,262 Oh, God, a baby. That can add two years to a marriage. 56 00:02:44,965 --> 00:02:46,726 Hey. Elaine, all right. 57 00:02:46,967 --> 00:02:50,594 Who looks better in this shirt, me or Mickey? 58 00:02:50,671 --> 00:02:51,999 We're double-dating tonight. 59 00:02:52,073 --> 00:02:54,539 If we wear the same shirt, we'll look like idiots. 60 00:02:55,209 --> 00:02:56,674 Turn around. 61 00:03:03,117 --> 00:03:05,981 Well, you're both so striking. 62 00:03:06,053 --> 00:03:07,780 Yeah, tell me about it. 63 00:03:07,855 --> 00:03:09,889 We just picked up two women at The Gap. 64 00:03:10,257 --> 00:03:13,190 How did you decide which one of you would date which girl? 65 00:03:20,134 --> 00:03:23,931 So I'm on Third Avenue, minding my own business and yada, yada, yada. 66 00:03:24,004 --> 00:03:26,800 I get a free massage and a facial. 67 00:03:28,275 --> 00:03:30,536 What a succinct story. 68 00:03:30,911 --> 00:03:33,571 So I'm surprised you drive a Cadillac. 69 00:03:33,647 --> 00:03:36,147 Oh, it's not mine. It's my mother's. 70 00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:39,308 Are you close with your parents? 71 00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:43,112 Well, they gave birth to me and yada, yada. 72 00:03:43,190 --> 00:03:44,279 Yada what? 73 00:03:44,859 --> 00:03:47,587 Yada, yada, yada. 74 00:03:56,770 --> 00:03:58,394 It's a nice place. 75 00:03:58,472 --> 00:03:59,766 Really nice. 76 00:04:01,275 --> 00:04:03,502 - I like your shirt. - Oh, thank you. 77 00:04:03,577 --> 00:04:07,135 It's a hundred percent cotton. And some wool. 78 00:04:09,450 --> 00:04:12,644 Well, you two seem to have the same taste. 79 00:04:13,254 --> 00:04:16,585 - Well, I like it too. - Oh, well, I have the same shirt. 80 00:04:16,657 --> 00:04:18,520 Yeah, well, I'm wearing it. 81 00:04:20,327 --> 00:04:21,917 Well, I like your shirt too. 82 00:04:22,730 --> 00:04:24,354 Well, so do I. 83 00:04:30,571 --> 00:04:32,434 Did I mention I'm a serious actor? 84 00:04:32,806 --> 00:04:35,670 - Really? - I enjoy polo. 85 00:04:37,311 --> 00:04:38,639 I like the beach. 86 00:04:39,513 --> 00:04:42,514 My aunt has been ill of late. 87 00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:45,681 I own a tuxedo. 88 00:04:47,221 --> 00:04:49,551 Anything to drink? Some wine perhaps? 89 00:04:49,623 --> 00:04:51,452 - I like merlot. - I love merlot. 90 00:04:51,525 --> 00:04:55,083 - I'm crazy about merlot. - I live for merlot. 91 00:04:55,596 --> 00:04:57,186 We're out of merlot. 92 00:05:03,103 --> 00:05:04,761 We'll clear out for your interview. 93 00:05:04,838 --> 00:05:06,530 - Okay. - Make us sound good. 94 00:05:06,607 --> 00:05:08,607 - Oh, come on. - Bye. 95 00:05:08,676 --> 00:05:10,607 - Bye, Beth. Bye, Arnie. - Bye. 96 00:05:12,279 --> 00:05:14,108 Nice people. 97 00:05:14,181 --> 00:05:17,216 So you know Beth and Arnie pretty well? 98 00:05:17,284 --> 00:05:18,749 Oh, yeah, yeah. 99 00:05:18,919 --> 00:05:20,611 Do you socialize with them often? 100 00:05:20,688 --> 00:05:22,813 Yeah, yeah, we go out to dinner a lot... 101 00:05:22,890 --> 00:05:26,153 usually Chinese. Well, sometimes Thai. 102 00:05:28,162 --> 00:05:31,390 And we go to the movies. Arnie's a real film buff. 103 00:05:33,300 --> 00:05:35,925 Actually, I remember this one time. 104 00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:37,229 This is funny. 105 00:05:38,572 --> 00:05:40,833 We went to see the movie Striptease. 106 00:05:40,908 --> 00:05:44,671 I don't know if you've seen it. It doesn't matter. Anyway. 107 00:05:45,179 --> 00:05:47,042 And it was during the opening credits... 108 00:05:47,114 --> 00:05:49,079 it was before the movie even started. 109 00:05:49,149 --> 00:05:52,343 And I was whispering something to Beth... 110 00:05:52,419 --> 00:05:56,956 and Arnie leans over to me and he goes, "Would you shut up?" 111 00:05:58,292 --> 00:06:01,225 I mean, he barely even knew me. Where did he get off...? 112 00:06:12,840 --> 00:06:15,875 But they're great people. 113 00:06:20,481 --> 00:06:22,105 You're in here. 114 00:06:22,750 --> 00:06:25,580 - What are you doing here? - I knew you had an appointment. 115 00:06:25,653 --> 00:06:27,948 Well, this is very awkward. 116 00:06:28,422 --> 00:06:30,080 I'll leave when the guy comes in. 117 00:06:30,524 --> 00:06:33,752 Hey, I gotta tell you. I am loving this yada yada thing. 118 00:06:33,827 --> 00:06:36,157 You know, I can gloss over my whole life story. 119 00:06:36,230 --> 00:06:39,299 - Look at that. - Hey, don't play with that. 120 00:06:39,366 --> 00:06:41,229 That's going in my mouth. 121 00:06:41,669 --> 00:06:43,964 - What is this thing? - All right. That's enough. 122 00:06:44,038 --> 00:06:46,538 - Just get going. Get out of here. - All right. 123 00:06:46,607 --> 00:06:48,402 - Hey, Tim. Quick question. - Hey. 124 00:06:48,776 --> 00:06:51,538 Is it normal for your teeth to make noises... 125 00:06:51,612 --> 00:06:53,577 Iike a hissing or a chirping? 126 00:06:53,647 --> 00:06:55,146 George. 127 00:06:56,383 --> 00:06:59,452 Fine, I'll make an appointment. 128 00:06:59,620 --> 00:07:03,816 All right. It is cavity time. 129 00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:09,453 Here we go. 130 00:07:09,530 --> 00:07:11,723 Reminds me, you hear the one about the rabbi... 131 00:07:11,799 --> 00:07:14,265 and the farmer's daughter, huh? 132 00:07:15,903 --> 00:07:18,437 "Those aren't matzo balls." 133 00:07:20,007 --> 00:07:22,075 - What? - Tim, do you think you should be... 134 00:07:22,142 --> 00:07:23,675 making jokes like that? 135 00:07:23,744 --> 00:07:26,005 Why not? I'm Jewish. Remember? 136 00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:30,143 - I know, but... - Jerry, it's our sense of humor... 137 00:07:30,217 --> 00:07:33,514 that sustained us as a people for 3000 years. 138 00:07:34,488 --> 00:07:38,046 - Five thousand. - Five thousand, even better. 139 00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:42,795 Okay. Chrissy... 140 00:07:42,863 --> 00:07:44,624 give me a shtickl of fluoride. 141 00:07:49,303 --> 00:07:52,736 And then he asked the assistant for a shtickl of fluoride. 142 00:07:53,674 --> 00:07:56,038 Why are you so concerned about this? 143 00:07:56,110 --> 00:07:57,677 I'll tell you why. 144 00:07:57,745 --> 00:08:02,646 Because I believe Whatley converted to Judaism just for the jokes. 145 00:08:05,652 --> 00:08:07,310 - Hello. - Would you be interested... 146 00:08:07,388 --> 00:08:09,649 in a subscription to the New York Times? 147 00:08:09,723 --> 00:08:11,381 Yes. 148 00:08:17,297 --> 00:08:20,127 - Well, I don't believe that. - If you'd got in the back seat... 149 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:21,733 we could've figured this out. 150 00:08:21,802 --> 00:08:24,166 Well, why were you holding the door open for? 151 00:08:24,238 --> 00:08:27,205 Not for you. Who holds a door open for a man? 152 00:08:27,274 --> 00:08:31,572 Well, I thought it was a nice gesture, but I guess I was wrong. 153 00:08:32,212 --> 00:08:33,904 Let's just put their names in a hat. 154 00:08:33,981 --> 00:08:35,844 I don't even know their names. 155 00:08:37,518 --> 00:08:39,609 Look, why don't you take the one on the left? 156 00:08:39,686 --> 00:08:43,051 - I'm not sure she's my type. - Oh, everybody's your type. 157 00:08:43,123 --> 00:08:44,747 What the hell does that mean? 158 00:08:44,825 --> 00:08:47,621 - You've been married three times. - That's it. It's go time. 159 00:08:47,694 --> 00:08:50,524 - All right. Take it easy. Easy, easy. - Hey, hey, hey! 160 00:08:50,597 --> 00:08:53,632 No, come on, let him go. You wanna throw? Let's throw! 161 00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:57,930 Hey, hey! Hold on a second. 162 00:08:59,973 --> 00:09:02,200 All right, look. I got an idea. 163 00:09:02,276 --> 00:09:05,311 Why don't you just show up early for your next date... 164 00:09:05,379 --> 00:09:09,916 sit across from each other and see who the girls sit next to. 165 00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:14,378 - That's not bad. - All right. So we let the girls decide. 166 00:09:14,455 --> 00:09:16,546 Yeah, why should we knock ourselves out? 167 00:09:16,623 --> 00:09:19,920 - I wanna wear that shirt next time. - No one wears the shirt next time. 168 00:09:19,993 --> 00:09:23,551 - Right, because they already saw it. - We'll look like idiots. 169 00:09:24,832 --> 00:09:28,390 Well, we.... We were engaged to be married. 170 00:09:29,169 --> 00:09:32,898 We bought the wedding invitations and... 171 00:09:33,340 --> 00:09:36,273 yada, yada, yada. I'm still single. 172 00:09:37,444 --> 00:09:39,136 So, what's she doing now? 173 00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:42,280 Yada. 174 00:09:42,349 --> 00:09:46,146 - I get it. - I love talking to you. 175 00:09:46,620 --> 00:09:50,053 Me too. So speaking of exes... 176 00:09:50,123 --> 00:09:52,589 my old boyfriend came over late last night... 177 00:09:52,659 --> 00:09:57,822 and yada, yada, yada. Anyway, I'm really tired today. 178 00:10:08,575 --> 00:10:12,270 Beth, Arnie, hi. What's up? 179 00:10:12,679 --> 00:10:15,304 Well, our adoption application was denied. 180 00:10:15,782 --> 00:10:18,316 - Really? - The adoption agent seems to feel... 181 00:10:18,385 --> 00:10:20,612 that Arnie has a violent temper. 182 00:10:22,256 --> 00:10:24,290 So we're just asking our friends... 183 00:10:24,358 --> 00:10:26,790 what they may have said to the adoption agent. 184 00:10:27,094 --> 00:10:29,025 Well, I.... 185 00:10:30,664 --> 00:10:34,962 You know, I just told them what kind people you are... 186 00:10:35,035 --> 00:10:38,036 and how Arnie's a big movie buff... 187 00:10:38,105 --> 00:10:42,164 and yada, yada, yada. That is it. 188 00:10:46,747 --> 00:10:48,314 How you doing? 189 00:10:48,382 --> 00:10:50,211 I have some discomfort in my molar. 190 00:10:50,484 --> 00:10:52,211 You like Tootsie Rolls, don't you? 191 00:10:53,220 --> 00:10:54,981 Father Curtis, why don't you come in? 192 00:10:56,757 --> 00:10:59,451 Father Curtis, good guy. Oh, which reminds me. 193 00:10:59,526 --> 00:11:02,993 Did you hear the one about the pope and Raquel Welch on the lifeboat? 194 00:11:04,097 --> 00:11:06,097 I'll tell you later. 195 00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:08,833 Whatley. 196 00:11:13,106 --> 00:11:14,867 What are they doing here? 197 00:11:14,942 --> 00:11:16,771 Told you we should've gotten here early. 198 00:11:16,843 --> 00:11:18,968 All right. Okay, now what are we going to do? 199 00:11:19,046 --> 00:11:20,477 All right. Don't panic. 200 00:11:20,547 --> 00:11:22,842 Let's just decide now. Which one do you want? 201 00:11:24,284 --> 00:11:26,181 - I'll take Julie. - I knew you wanted her. 202 00:11:26,253 --> 00:11:28,548 - That's who I wanted. - All right. I'll take Karen. 203 00:11:28,622 --> 00:11:31,088 No, you think I'm falling for that? I'll take Karen. 204 00:11:31,158 --> 00:11:33,818 Fine. I'll take Julie. 205 00:11:33,894 --> 00:11:35,894 All right. Which one is Julie? 206 00:11:38,498 --> 00:11:40,532 I don't know. 207 00:11:40,934 --> 00:11:43,525 - Why don't we just grab a chair? - You first. 208 00:11:43,604 --> 00:11:45,194 No, you first. 209 00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:48,931 - How you doing? - Good evening. 210 00:11:55,148 --> 00:11:57,113 Stop. 211 00:12:02,255 --> 00:12:05,222 Well, you ladies look lovely tonight. 212 00:12:12,199 --> 00:12:14,927 So Whatley says to me, "Hey, I can make Catholic jokes. 213 00:12:15,002 --> 00:12:16,660 I used to be Catholic." 214 00:12:16,903 --> 00:12:19,130 Now, see, I don't think it is a Catholic joke. 215 00:12:19,206 --> 00:12:21,638 I think it's more of a Raquel Welch joke. 216 00:12:21,875 --> 00:12:26,844 What was it? "No, I said, 'Hand me the buoys."' 217 00:12:31,318 --> 00:12:33,249 "Buoys." 218 00:12:34,388 --> 00:12:37,218 Don't you see what Whatley is after? 219 00:12:37,290 --> 00:12:39,051 Total joke-telling immunity. 220 00:12:39,126 --> 00:12:41,285 He's already got the big two religions covered. 221 00:12:41,361 --> 00:12:44,487 If he ever gets Polish citizenship, there'll be no stopping him. 222 00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:46,328 So, what are you going to do? 223 00:12:46,633 --> 00:12:49,566 I think this Father Curtis might be very interested to hear... 224 00:12:49,636 --> 00:12:53,331 what Whatley has the pope doing with Raquel Welch. 225 00:12:54,841 --> 00:12:57,239 Hey, Beth, Arnie, it's Elaine. 226 00:12:57,310 --> 00:13:00,538 Thought you guys might wanna have lunch. Give me a call. Bye. 227 00:13:00,847 --> 00:13:03,939 They're not getting a baby, so you're taking them to lunch. 228 00:13:04,317 --> 00:13:06,009 I thought it would be nice. 229 00:13:06,386 --> 00:13:08,977 - Poor Beth. - Hey, Arnie's just as upset. 230 00:13:09,056 --> 00:13:11,056 Oh, screw him. 231 00:13:11,858 --> 00:13:13,186 Listen to this. 232 00:13:13,260 --> 00:13:16,591 Marcy comes over, tells me her ex-boyfriend was over late last night... 233 00:13:16,663 --> 00:13:20,460 and "Yada, yada, yada, I'm really tired today." 234 00:13:22,002 --> 00:13:26,436 - What do you think she's tired from? - Well, obviously the yada yada. 235 00:13:27,407 --> 00:13:29,566 You don't think she'd yada yada sex? 236 00:13:30,577 --> 00:13:32,907 I've yada yada-ed sex. 237 00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:35,343 - Really? - Yeah. I met this lawyer. 238 00:13:35,415 --> 00:13:37,642 We went out to dinner. I had the lobster bisque. 239 00:13:37,718 --> 00:13:39,809 We went back to my place. Yada, yada, yada... 240 00:13:39,886 --> 00:13:42,386 I never heard from him again. 241 00:13:43,957 --> 00:13:45,991 But you yada yada-ed over the best part. 242 00:13:46,059 --> 00:13:48,559 No, I mentioned the bisque. 243 00:13:53,066 --> 00:13:55,828 Well, I gotta do something. 244 00:13:58,705 --> 00:14:00,705 Well, I gotta do something. 245 00:14:00,874 --> 00:14:03,033 George is already in there. 246 00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:07,746 No, Mickey and I. We can't work it out. 247 00:14:07,814 --> 00:14:11,509 You know, I'm thinking of asking that Karen out by myself. She's the one. 248 00:14:11,585 --> 00:14:13,118 You were leaning towards Julie. 249 00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:17,450 Well, I was. But the one I thought was Julie turned out to be Karen. 250 00:14:19,726 --> 00:14:21,453 Well, it was a hell of a yada yada. 251 00:14:21,528 --> 00:14:24,188 He's moving to Seattle. He wanted to say goodbye. 252 00:14:24,264 --> 00:14:26,958 I was just getting out of the shower and yada, yada, yada... 253 00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:28,464 All right. Enough. Enough. 254 00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:33,800 From now on, no more yada yadas. Just give me the full story. 255 00:14:33,874 --> 00:14:36,067 Okay. Well... 256 00:14:36,143 --> 00:14:38,370 when I got out of the shower, I was dripping... 257 00:14:38,445 --> 00:14:41,207 Not that story. Another story. 258 00:14:41,281 --> 00:14:43,975 Tell me about the free facial. 259 00:14:44,151 --> 00:14:48,153 Okay, well, like I said, I was on Third Avenue... 260 00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:50,653 and I stopped by a large department store. 261 00:14:50,724 --> 00:14:52,724 - Which one? - Bloomingdale's. 262 00:14:52,793 --> 00:14:54,485 Very good. Go on. 263 00:14:55,562 --> 00:15:00,156 - And... Oh, I stole a Piaget watch. - What's that? 264 00:15:00,233 --> 00:15:03,393 And then I was on such a high... 265 00:15:03,470 --> 00:15:06,664 that I went upstairs to the salon on the fifth floor... 266 00:15:06,740 --> 00:15:12,107 and got a massage and a facial and skipped out on the bill. 267 00:15:18,151 --> 00:15:19,809 Shoplifting. 268 00:15:19,886 --> 00:15:23,478 Well, what about you? You told me that you were engaged. 269 00:15:23,557 --> 00:15:25,284 What was the rest of that? 270 00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:36,665 Excuse me, Mother? 271 00:15:36,937 --> 00:15:39,096 - Sister. - Sister. Right. 272 00:15:39,172 --> 00:15:41,832 Do you know when Father Curtis has office hours? 273 00:15:41,908 --> 00:15:43,305 Well, not until tomorrow. 274 00:15:44,044 --> 00:15:46,374 I really need to speak with him. 275 00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:14,066 You know, that's a kneeler. 276 00:16:21,181 --> 00:16:23,112 Tell me your sins, my son. 277 00:16:23,183 --> 00:16:25,376 Well, I should mention that I'm Jewish. 278 00:16:25,452 --> 00:16:28,043 - Oh, that's no sin. - Oh, good. 279 00:16:30,457 --> 00:16:33,117 Anyway, I wanted to talk to you about Dr. Whatley. 280 00:16:33,193 --> 00:16:34,521 I have a suspicion... 281 00:16:34,594 --> 00:16:38,357 that he's converted to Judaism purely for the jokes. 282 00:16:38,965 --> 00:16:41,625 And this offends you as a Jewish person? 283 00:16:41,701 --> 00:16:44,497 No, it offends me as a comedian. 284 00:16:51,311 --> 00:16:56,007 And it'll interest you to know that he's also telling Catholic jokes. 285 00:16:56,082 --> 00:16:59,208 - Well... - And, I mean, they're old jokes. 286 00:16:59,286 --> 00:17:03,550 I mean, the pope and Raquel Welch in a lifeboat. 287 00:17:03,623 --> 00:17:05,657 I haven't heard that one. 288 00:17:08,028 --> 00:17:10,653 Oh, I'm sure you have. They're out on the ocean... 289 00:17:10,730 --> 00:17:13,128 and yada, yada, yada and she... 290 00:17:13,199 --> 00:17:16,234 And she says, "Those aren't buoys." 291 00:17:22,943 --> 00:17:25,341 - Father. - One second. 292 00:17:29,215 --> 00:17:32,580 Well, if it would make you feel better, I could speak to Dr. Whatley. 293 00:17:32,652 --> 00:17:35,152 I have to go back and have a wisdom tooth removed. 294 00:17:35,221 --> 00:17:36,982 Good luck. You know the difference... 295 00:17:37,057 --> 00:17:39,990 between a dentist and a sadist, don't you? 296 00:17:40,060 --> 00:17:42,321 Newer magazines. 297 00:17:46,232 --> 00:17:48,095 That's funny. 298 00:17:48,168 --> 00:17:50,532 Now if you would excuse me. 299 00:17:52,172 --> 00:17:54,433 Jerry, I gotta talk to you. 300 00:18:05,819 --> 00:18:07,477 - Hi. - Hi, Kramer. 301 00:18:08,321 --> 00:18:09,854 Got a minute? 302 00:18:09,923 --> 00:18:13,254 Actually, my parents are over, but would you like to meet them? 303 00:18:13,326 --> 00:18:15,656 - Yeah. - Mom, Dad. 304 00:18:16,796 --> 00:18:18,295 Hi. 305 00:18:26,806 --> 00:18:29,534 Elaine, I have to ask you about something. 306 00:18:29,609 --> 00:18:31,643 - What? - The yada yada. 307 00:18:31,711 --> 00:18:34,644 - Yada yada? - What exactly happened down there? 308 00:18:36,349 --> 00:18:40,385 Well, I don't know. I mean, I talked to him... 309 00:18:40,453 --> 00:18:45,650 and blah, blah, blah. He asked about you guys and: 310 00:18:45,725 --> 00:18:49,124 More questions. Blah, blah, blah. 311 00:18:49,195 --> 00:18:50,557 All right. Shut up. 312 00:18:51,664 --> 00:18:54,631 Shut up? Again you are telling me to shut up? 313 00:18:54,701 --> 00:18:56,393 - What? - You yelled at me... 314 00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:58,127 that time at the movies. 315 00:18:58,204 --> 00:19:01,205 That's why you're not getting the baby. 316 00:19:01,975 --> 00:19:04,066 And you told that to the adoption guy? 317 00:19:05,378 --> 00:19:08,140 - Slipped out. - Oh, God. 318 00:19:08,214 --> 00:19:09,906 What am I gonna tell Beth? 319 00:19:11,084 --> 00:19:15,086 Well, Arnie, look, I'll go down and talk to this adoption guy... 320 00:19:15,155 --> 00:19:17,348 and make sure it all gets straightened out. 321 00:19:17,424 --> 00:19:22,427 - Just don't screw it up this time! - See, again you're yelling. 322 00:19:22,495 --> 00:19:24,995 Not a fan of the yelling. 323 00:19:32,072 --> 00:19:33,605 Are you about done? 324 00:19:33,940 --> 00:19:35,598 Oh, I'm just getting warmed up. 325 00:19:38,645 --> 00:19:41,873 Because I'm just a sadist with newer magazines. 326 00:19:44,417 --> 00:19:48,453 Father Curtis told me your little joke. I really didn't appreciate it. 327 00:19:48,855 --> 00:19:50,946 Well, what about all your Jewish jokes? 328 00:19:51,024 --> 00:19:53,615 I'm Jewish. You're not a dentist. 329 00:19:55,228 --> 00:19:58,729 You have no idea what my people have been through. 330 00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:04,126 - The Jews? - No, the dentists. 331 00:20:05,004 --> 00:20:07,800 You know, we have the highest suicide rate of any profession. 332 00:20:08,274 --> 00:20:10,808 Is that why it's so hard to get an appointment? 333 00:20:14,881 --> 00:20:19,577 So I'll.... I'll see you tonight, huh? Okay. 334 00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:23,144 - Date with Karen? - No, Julie. 335 00:20:23,490 --> 00:20:25,558 - She's the one. - What happened to Karen? 336 00:20:25,625 --> 00:20:29,320 Well, Mickey and her have more in common. Her parents are little people. 337 00:20:29,395 --> 00:20:31,429 Oh, small world. 338 00:20:32,365 --> 00:20:35,332 So little people can have "non-little-people" children? 339 00:20:35,401 --> 00:20:37,298 Oh, yeah, and vice versa. 340 00:20:37,370 --> 00:20:40,769 Yeah, Mother Nature's a mad scientist, Jerry. 341 00:20:41,441 --> 00:20:43,702 So you won't believe what happened with Whatley. 342 00:20:43,776 --> 00:20:47,835 It got back to him that I made this little dentist joke and he got all offended. 343 00:20:48,348 --> 00:20:50,814 Those people can be so touchy. 344 00:20:50,884 --> 00:20:55,580 - "Those people." Listen to yourself. - What? 345 00:20:55,722 --> 00:20:58,882 You think that dentists are so different from me and you? 346 00:20:58,958 --> 00:21:03,461 They came to this country just like everybody else in search of a dream. 347 00:21:03,530 --> 00:21:05,928 - Whatley's from Jersey. - Yes, and now... 348 00:21:05,999 --> 00:21:08,499 he's a full-fledged American. 349 00:21:08,568 --> 00:21:10,761 Kramer, he's just a dentist. 350 00:21:10,837 --> 00:21:13,735 Yeah, and you're an anti-dentite. 351 00:21:16,176 --> 00:21:18,005 I am not an anti-dentite. 352 00:21:18,077 --> 00:21:20,611 You're a rabid anti-dentite. 353 00:21:21,981 --> 00:21:24,572 Oh, it starts with a few jokes and some slurs: 354 00:21:24,651 --> 00:21:27,049 "Hey, denty." 355 00:21:27,120 --> 00:21:30,314 Next thing you know, you're saying they should have their own schools. 356 00:21:30,390 --> 00:21:33,288 - They do have their own schools. - Yeah, yeah, yeah! 357 00:21:35,862 --> 00:21:41,025 Oh, come on. One little baby, whatever you have in stock. 358 00:21:41,100 --> 00:21:43,498 - Miss Benes, please. - Lookit, lookit, Brian. 359 00:21:44,404 --> 00:21:49,669 These people are getting a baby, period. 360 00:21:49,742 --> 00:21:53,539 Now, we can do this the easy way... 361 00:21:53,613 --> 00:21:58,047 or we can do this... 362 00:21:58,117 --> 00:21:59,878 the fun way. 363 00:22:10,396 --> 00:22:12,589 I'm sorry to bother you. But you always said... 364 00:22:12,665 --> 00:22:14,596 - you'd be there for me. - What's wrong? 365 00:22:14,667 --> 00:22:18,032 - I'm thinking of leaving Arnie. - Talk to me. 366 00:22:19,606 --> 00:22:22,607 He met with Elaine, and I asked him what happened. 367 00:22:22,675 --> 00:22:25,608 And he yada yada-ed me. 368 00:22:25,678 --> 00:22:27,405 Could they be having an affair? 369 00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:29,377 I wouldn't put anything past anybody. 370 00:22:29,549 --> 00:22:31,116 But we just got married. 371 00:22:31,184 --> 00:22:33,548 Well, obviously, that was a mistake. 372 00:22:33,620 --> 00:22:37,918 You need to forget about Arnie. The important thing is you're moving on. 373 00:22:37,991 --> 00:22:40,218 Why would Elaine do that to me? 374 00:22:40,293 --> 00:22:43,521 Forget about Elaine. Let's just focus on us. 375 00:22:43,596 --> 00:22:45,789 - Come on, big hug. - Hey, Jerry. 376 00:22:45,865 --> 00:22:47,728 Where's Kramer? I've got exciting news. 377 00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:50,801 - I'm in the middle of something. - Karen and I are getting married. 378 00:22:50,870 --> 00:22:54,406 Oh, congratulations. Her marriage just fell apart. 379 00:22:54,641 --> 00:22:56,936 - How many is that for you? - Two. 380 00:22:57,343 --> 00:23:00,003 You're a lightweight. Come on, honey. 381 00:23:07,654 --> 00:23:09,813 This church give you any ideas? 382 00:23:12,058 --> 00:23:13,318 - Hey, Jerry. - Hey. 383 00:23:16,796 --> 00:23:18,625 What are you doing here with Beth? 384 00:23:18,831 --> 00:23:20,660 Beth and Arnie broke up. 385 00:23:21,134 --> 00:23:23,065 So they don't want a baby? 386 00:23:32,645 --> 00:23:35,714 I think I'm gonna be sick. 387 00:23:39,952 --> 00:23:41,952 Hey, where's Marcy? 388 00:23:42,555 --> 00:23:47,183 She went shopping for some shoes for the wedding... 389 00:23:47,260 --> 00:23:51,023 and yada, yada, yada, I'll see her in six to eight months. 390 00:23:56,169 --> 00:23:59,363 - Hey, Kramer, over here. - I'd just as soon not sit next to you. 391 00:24:00,006 --> 00:24:01,232 Kramer. 392 00:24:08,214 --> 00:24:11,977 - Look, there's Mickey and his parents. - Oh, a nice-looking family. 393 00:24:12,051 --> 00:24:13,641 Very handsome. 394 00:24:14,287 --> 00:24:16,218 How you doing? 395 00:24:16,289 --> 00:24:18,186 Hey, Kramer. 396 00:24:25,965 --> 00:24:28,124 You must be so proud. 397 00:24:28,201 --> 00:24:30,599 We never thought he'd settle down. 398 00:24:30,670 --> 00:24:32,795 Well, not again. 399 00:24:34,907 --> 00:24:39,239 Oh, Mickey. Excuse me. I can't take this. 400 00:24:45,518 --> 00:24:47,347 Hi, Mr. Abbott. 401 00:24:48,821 --> 00:24:52,118 That's Dr. Abbott, D.D.S. 402 00:24:52,191 --> 00:24:54,885 Tim Whatley was one of my students. 403 00:24:54,961 --> 00:24:57,495 And if this wasn't my son's wedding day... 404 00:24:57,563 --> 00:25:02,066 I'd knock your teeth out, you anti-dentite bastard. 405 00:25:03,636 --> 00:25:05,670 What was that all about? 406 00:25:05,738 --> 00:25:09,740 Oh, I said something about dentists, and it got blown all out of proportion. 407 00:25:10,243 --> 00:25:13,779 Hey, what do you call a doctor who fails out of med school? 408 00:25:13,846 --> 00:25:16,312 - What? - A dentist. 409 00:25:17,383 --> 00:25:19,474 - That's a good one. - Yeah. 410 00:25:19,552 --> 00:25:22,348 - Dentists. - Yeah, who needs them? 411 00:25:22,422 --> 00:25:24,456 Not to mention the blacks and the Jews. 412 00:25:41,574 --> 00:25:45,235 - Where's Beth? - She ran out to get her head shaved. 413 00:25:46,045 --> 00:25:48,773 We are gathered here today to unite this couple... 414 00:25:48,848 --> 00:25:52,611 in the bonds of holy matrimony. 415 00:25:53,052 --> 00:25:55,484 Those wisdom teeth are tough to get out. 416 00:25:55,555 --> 00:26:00,183 Marriage is not an institution to be entered into lightly. 417 00:26:00,259 --> 00:26:03,795 Yada, yada, yada. I pronounce you man and wife. 418 00:26:17,210 --> 00:26:19,540 I really wanted you. 32487

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