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1
00:00:06,274 --> 00:00:07,534
You're on a desert island.
2
00:00:07,608 --> 00:00:09,835
You can bring five books.
Which five do you take?
3
00:00:09,911 --> 00:00:11,535
I gotta read five books?
4
00:00:11,612 --> 00:00:13,839
All right, one.
5
00:00:14,815 --> 00:00:16,405
Come on.
6
00:00:16,484 --> 00:00:18,074
I got it. Three Musketeers.
7
00:00:18,152 --> 00:00:20,982
- You've read that?
- No, I'm saving it for the island.
8
00:00:21,055 --> 00:00:23,783
All right, let's start
this whole thing over.
9
00:00:23,858 --> 00:00:26,688
Best Chamberlain:
Wilt, Richard, or Neville?
10
00:00:26,761 --> 00:00:27,850
For the desert island?
11
00:00:27,929 --> 00:00:29,792
- Okay.
- Richard.
12
00:00:29,864 --> 00:00:31,761
You know, he was in
The Three Musketeers.
13
00:00:31,832 --> 00:00:34,162
Exactly. Save me having
to read the book.
14
00:00:34,702 --> 00:00:36,565
What's going on over there?
15
00:00:36,637 --> 00:00:39,331
I don't know. I gotta see somebody.
16
00:00:44,645 --> 00:00:47,714
So, Marcy, you should have
seen me in the hot tub today.
17
00:00:48,349 --> 00:00:50,178
- Why?
- I was naked.
18
00:00:50,251 --> 00:00:52,751
- Oh, George.
- I saw it.
19
00:00:52,820 --> 00:00:56,048
- How'd he look?
- Okay. I wouldn't see it again.
20
00:00:56,657 --> 00:01:00,090
A friend of mine thought she got
Legionnaires' disease in a hot tub.
21
00:01:00,161 --> 00:01:01,353
Really, what happened?
22
00:01:01,429 --> 00:01:03,759
Yada, yada, yada.
Just some bad egg salad.
23
00:01:03,831 --> 00:01:05,296
I'll be right back.
24
00:01:08,302 --> 00:01:10,233
- Nice girl.
- Lovely.
25
00:01:10,304 --> 00:01:12,429
I notice she's big on
the phrase, "Yada, yada."
26
00:01:12,506 --> 00:01:14,597
- Is "yada yada" bad?
- No, "yada yada"'s good.
27
00:01:14,675 --> 00:01:17,073
- She's very succinct.
- She is succinct.
28
00:01:17,144 --> 00:01:19,075
Yeah, it's like
you're dating USA Today.
29
00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:22,273
- Hey.
- Hey, Tim.
30
00:01:22,350 --> 00:01:25,351
- George, you know Tim Whatley.
- Yeah, dentist to the stars.
31
00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:29,285
- What's up?
- I'll tell you what's up. I'm a Jew.
32
00:01:30,124 --> 00:01:31,657
- Excuse me?
- I'm a Jew.
33
00:01:31,726 --> 00:01:33,657
I finished converting two days ago.
34
00:01:34,061 --> 00:01:37,653
Oh, well, welcome aboard.
35
00:01:39,333 --> 00:01:42,698
- Thanks. So I'll see you tomorrow?
- Yeah, I have a cavity, lower left.
36
00:01:42,770 --> 00:01:44,963
- Were you just at the health club?
- Oh, yeah.
37
00:01:45,039 --> 00:01:47,437
- We must have just missed you.
- I didn't do much.
38
00:01:47,508 --> 00:01:48,870
I just sat in the sauna.
39
00:01:48,943 --> 00:01:51,773
You know, it was more like
a Jewish workout.
40
00:01:51,846 --> 00:01:53,345
I'll see you.
41
00:01:58,386 --> 00:02:02,013
Elaine, the guy's Jewish two days.
He's already making Jewish jokes.
42
00:02:02,690 --> 00:02:07,124
So what? When someone turns 21,
they usually get drunk the first night.
43
00:02:07,194 --> 00:02:08,955
Booze is not a religion.
44
00:02:09,030 --> 00:02:10,563
Tell that to my father.
45
00:02:11,899 --> 00:02:14,695
Anyway, guess what.
Beth Lookner called me.
46
00:02:14,769 --> 00:02:17,963
Beth Lookner. I'm still
waiting out that marriage.
47
00:02:18,139 --> 00:02:21,640
What are you talking about?
That marriage ended six months ago.
48
00:02:21,709 --> 00:02:23,401
She's already remarried.
49
00:02:23,677 --> 00:02:25,210
Where was I?
50
00:02:26,080 --> 00:02:27,477
It was when you were engaged.
51
00:02:27,548 --> 00:02:31,243
Oh, I gotta get on that Internet.
I'm late on everything.
52
00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:35,320
Anyway, so Beth
and her new husband, Arnie...
53
00:02:35,389 --> 00:02:38,686
have listed me as a reference
for an adoption agency.
54
00:02:38,759 --> 00:02:40,156
They're trying to get a baby.
55
00:02:40,227 --> 00:02:43,262
Oh, God, a baby. That can
add two years to a marriage.
56
00:02:44,965 --> 00:02:46,726
Hey. Elaine, all right.
57
00:02:46,967 --> 00:02:50,594
Who looks better
in this shirt, me or Mickey?
58
00:02:50,671 --> 00:02:51,999
We're double-dating tonight.
59
00:02:52,073 --> 00:02:54,539
If we wear the same shirt,
we'll look like idiots.
60
00:02:55,209 --> 00:02:56,674
Turn around.
61
00:03:03,117 --> 00:03:05,981
Well, you're both so striking.
62
00:03:06,053 --> 00:03:07,780
Yeah, tell me about it.
63
00:03:07,855 --> 00:03:09,889
We just picked up two women
at The Gap.
64
00:03:10,257 --> 00:03:13,190
How did you decide which one
of you would date which girl?
65
00:03:20,134 --> 00:03:23,931
So I'm on Third Avenue, minding my
own business and yada, yada, yada.
66
00:03:24,004 --> 00:03:26,800
I get a free massage and a facial.
67
00:03:28,275 --> 00:03:30,536
What a succinct story.
68
00:03:30,911 --> 00:03:33,571
So I'm surprised
you drive a Cadillac.
69
00:03:33,647 --> 00:03:36,147
Oh, it's not mine. It's my mother's.
70
00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:39,308
Are you close with your parents?
71
00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:43,112
Well, they gave birth to me
and yada, yada.
72
00:03:43,190 --> 00:03:44,279
Yada what?
73
00:03:44,859 --> 00:03:47,587
Yada, yada, yada.
74
00:03:56,770 --> 00:03:58,394
It's a nice place.
75
00:03:58,472 --> 00:03:59,766
Really nice.
76
00:04:01,275 --> 00:04:03,502
- I like your shirt.
- Oh, thank you.
77
00:04:03,577 --> 00:04:07,135
It's a hundred percent cotton.
And some wool.
78
00:04:09,450 --> 00:04:12,644
Well, you two seem
to have the same taste.
79
00:04:13,254 --> 00:04:16,585
- Well, I like it too.
- Oh, well, I have the same shirt.
80
00:04:16,657 --> 00:04:18,520
Yeah, well, I'm wearing it.
81
00:04:20,327 --> 00:04:21,917
Well, I like your shirt too.
82
00:04:22,730 --> 00:04:24,354
Well, so do I.
83
00:04:30,571 --> 00:04:32,434
Did I mention I'm a serious actor?
84
00:04:32,806 --> 00:04:35,670
- Really?
- I enjoy polo.
85
00:04:37,311 --> 00:04:38,639
I like the beach.
86
00:04:39,513 --> 00:04:42,514
My aunt has been ill of late.
87
00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:45,681
I own a tuxedo.
88
00:04:47,221 --> 00:04:49,551
Anything to drink?
Some wine perhaps?
89
00:04:49,623 --> 00:04:51,452
- I like merlot.
- I love merlot.
90
00:04:51,525 --> 00:04:55,083
- I'm crazy about merlot.
- I live for merlot.
91
00:04:55,596 --> 00:04:57,186
We're out of merlot.
92
00:05:03,103 --> 00:05:04,761
We'll clear out for your interview.
93
00:05:04,838 --> 00:05:06,530
- Okay.
- Make us sound good.
94
00:05:06,607 --> 00:05:08,607
- Oh, come on.
- Bye.
95
00:05:08,676 --> 00:05:10,607
- Bye, Beth. Bye, Arnie.
- Bye.
96
00:05:12,279 --> 00:05:14,108
Nice people.
97
00:05:14,181 --> 00:05:17,216
So you know Beth and Arnie
pretty well?
98
00:05:17,284 --> 00:05:18,749
Oh, yeah, yeah.
99
00:05:18,919 --> 00:05:20,611
Do you socialize with them often?
100
00:05:20,688 --> 00:05:22,813
Yeah, yeah,
we go out to dinner a lot...
101
00:05:22,890 --> 00:05:26,153
usually Chinese.
Well, sometimes Thai.
102
00:05:28,162 --> 00:05:31,390
And we go to the movies.
Arnie's a real film buff.
103
00:05:33,300 --> 00:05:35,925
Actually, I remember this one time.
104
00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:37,229
This is funny.
105
00:05:38,572 --> 00:05:40,833
We went to see
the movie Striptease.
106
00:05:40,908 --> 00:05:44,671
I don't know if you've seen it.
It doesn't matter. Anyway.
107
00:05:45,179 --> 00:05:47,042
And it was during
the opening credits...
108
00:05:47,114 --> 00:05:49,079
it was before
the movie even started.
109
00:05:49,149 --> 00:05:52,343
And I was whispering
something to Beth...
110
00:05:52,419 --> 00:05:56,956
and Arnie leans over to me
and he goes, "Would you shut up?"
111
00:05:58,292 --> 00:06:01,225
I mean, he barely even knew me.
Where did he get off...?
112
00:06:12,840 --> 00:06:15,875
But they're great people.
113
00:06:20,481 --> 00:06:22,105
You're in here.
114
00:06:22,750 --> 00:06:25,580
- What are you doing here?
- I knew you had an appointment.
115
00:06:25,653 --> 00:06:27,948
Well, this is very awkward.
116
00:06:28,422 --> 00:06:30,080
I'll leave when the guy comes in.
117
00:06:30,524 --> 00:06:33,752
Hey, I gotta tell you.
I am loving this yada yada thing.
118
00:06:33,827 --> 00:06:36,157
You know, I can gloss over
my whole life story.
119
00:06:36,230 --> 00:06:39,299
- Look at that.
- Hey, don't play with that.
120
00:06:39,366 --> 00:06:41,229
That's going in my mouth.
121
00:06:41,669 --> 00:06:43,964
- What is this thing?
- All right. That's enough.
122
00:06:44,038 --> 00:06:46,538
- Just get going. Get out of here.
- All right.
123
00:06:46,607 --> 00:06:48,402
- Hey, Tim. Quick question.
- Hey.
124
00:06:48,776 --> 00:06:51,538
Is it normal for your
teeth to make noises...
125
00:06:51,612 --> 00:06:53,577
Iike a hissing or a chirping?
126
00:06:53,647 --> 00:06:55,146
George.
127
00:06:56,383 --> 00:06:59,452
Fine, I'll make an appointment.
128
00:06:59,620 --> 00:07:03,816
All right. It is cavity time.
129
00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:09,453
Here we go.
130
00:07:09,530 --> 00:07:11,723
Reminds me,
you hear the one about the rabbi...
131
00:07:11,799 --> 00:07:14,265
and the farmer's daughter, huh?
132
00:07:15,903 --> 00:07:18,437
"Those aren't matzo balls."
133
00:07:20,007 --> 00:07:22,075
- What?
- Tim, do you think you should be...
134
00:07:22,142 --> 00:07:23,675
making jokes like that?
135
00:07:23,744 --> 00:07:26,005
Why not? I'm Jewish. Remember?
136
00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:30,143
- I know, but...
- Jerry, it's our sense of humor...
137
00:07:30,217 --> 00:07:33,514
that sustained us
as a people for 3000 years.
138
00:07:34,488 --> 00:07:38,046
- Five thousand.
- Five thousand, even better.
139
00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:42,795
Okay. Chrissy...
140
00:07:42,863 --> 00:07:44,624
give me a shtickl of fluoride.
141
00:07:49,303 --> 00:07:52,736
And then he asked the assistant
for a shtickl of fluoride.
142
00:07:53,674 --> 00:07:56,038
Why are you so
concerned about this?
143
00:07:56,110 --> 00:07:57,677
I'll tell you why.
144
00:07:57,745 --> 00:08:02,646
Because I believe Whatley converted
to Judaism just for the jokes.
145
00:08:05,652 --> 00:08:07,310
- Hello.
- Would you be interested...
146
00:08:07,388 --> 00:08:09,649
in a subscription
to the New York Times?
147
00:08:09,723 --> 00:08:11,381
Yes.
148
00:08:17,297 --> 00:08:20,127
- Well, I don't believe that.
- If you'd got in the back seat...
149
00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:21,733
we could've figured this out.
150
00:08:21,802 --> 00:08:24,166
Well, why were you holding
the door open for?
151
00:08:24,238 --> 00:08:27,205
Not for you. Who holds
a door open for a man?
152
00:08:27,274 --> 00:08:31,572
Well, I thought it was a nice gesture,
but I guess I was wrong.
153
00:08:32,212 --> 00:08:33,904
Let's just put their names in a hat.
154
00:08:33,981 --> 00:08:35,844
I don't even know their names.
155
00:08:37,518 --> 00:08:39,609
Look, why don't you take
the one on the left?
156
00:08:39,686 --> 00:08:43,051
- I'm not sure she's my type.
- Oh, everybody's your type.
157
00:08:43,123 --> 00:08:44,747
What the hell does that mean?
158
00:08:44,825 --> 00:08:47,621
- You've been married three times.
- That's it. It's go time.
159
00:08:47,694 --> 00:08:50,524
- All right. Take it easy. Easy, easy.
- Hey, hey, hey!
160
00:08:50,597 --> 00:08:53,632
No, come on, let him go.
You wanna throw? Let's throw!
161
00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:57,930
Hey, hey! Hold on a second.
162
00:08:59,973 --> 00:09:02,200
All right, look. I got an idea.
163
00:09:02,276 --> 00:09:05,311
Why don't you just
show up early for your next date...
164
00:09:05,379 --> 00:09:09,916
sit across from each other
and see who the girls sit next to.
165
00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:14,378
- That's not bad.
- All right. So we let the girls decide.
166
00:09:14,455 --> 00:09:16,546
Yeah, why should we
knock ourselves out?
167
00:09:16,623 --> 00:09:19,920
- I wanna wear that shirt next time.
- No one wears the shirt next time.
168
00:09:19,993 --> 00:09:23,551
- Right, because they already saw it.
- We'll look like idiots.
169
00:09:24,832 --> 00:09:28,390
Well, we.... We were engaged
to be married.
170
00:09:29,169 --> 00:09:32,898
We bought
the wedding invitations and...
171
00:09:33,340 --> 00:09:36,273
yada, yada, yada. I'm still single.
172
00:09:37,444 --> 00:09:39,136
So, what's she doing now?
173
00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:42,280
Yada.
174
00:09:42,349 --> 00:09:46,146
- I get it.
- I love talking to you.
175
00:09:46,620 --> 00:09:50,053
Me too. So speaking of exes...
176
00:09:50,123 --> 00:09:52,589
my old boyfriend
came over late last night...
177
00:09:52,659 --> 00:09:57,822
and yada, yada, yada.
Anyway, I'm really tired today.
178
00:10:08,575 --> 00:10:12,270
Beth, Arnie, hi. What's up?
179
00:10:12,679 --> 00:10:15,304
Well, our adoption
application was denied.
180
00:10:15,782 --> 00:10:18,316
- Really?
- The adoption agent seems to feel...
181
00:10:18,385 --> 00:10:20,612
that Arnie has a violent temper.
182
00:10:22,256 --> 00:10:24,290
So we're just asking our friends...
183
00:10:24,358 --> 00:10:26,790
what they may have said
to the adoption agent.
184
00:10:27,094 --> 00:10:29,025
Well, I....
185
00:10:30,664 --> 00:10:34,962
You know, I just told them
what kind people you are...
186
00:10:35,035 --> 00:10:38,036
and how Arnie's a big movie buff...
187
00:10:38,105 --> 00:10:42,164
and yada, yada, yada. That is it.
188
00:10:46,747 --> 00:10:48,314
How you doing?
189
00:10:48,382 --> 00:10:50,211
I have some discomfort in my molar.
190
00:10:50,484 --> 00:10:52,211
You like Tootsie Rolls, don't you?
191
00:10:53,220 --> 00:10:54,981
Father Curtis,
why don't you come in?
192
00:10:56,757 --> 00:10:59,451
Father Curtis, good guy.
Oh, which reminds me.
193
00:10:59,526 --> 00:11:02,993
Did you hear the one about the pope
and Raquel Welch on the lifeboat?
194
00:11:04,097 --> 00:11:06,097
I'll tell you later.
195
00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:08,833
Whatley.
196
00:11:13,106 --> 00:11:14,867
What are they doing here?
197
00:11:14,942 --> 00:11:16,771
Told you we should've
gotten here early.
198
00:11:16,843 --> 00:11:18,968
All right. Okay, now what are
we going to do?
199
00:11:19,046 --> 00:11:20,477
All right. Don't panic.
200
00:11:20,547 --> 00:11:22,842
Let's just decide now.
Which one do you want?
201
00:11:24,284 --> 00:11:26,181
- I'll take Julie.
- I knew you wanted her.
202
00:11:26,253 --> 00:11:28,548
- That's who I wanted.
- All right. I'll take Karen.
203
00:11:28,622 --> 00:11:31,088
No, you think I'm falling for that?
I'll take Karen.
204
00:11:31,158 --> 00:11:33,818
Fine. I'll take Julie.
205
00:11:33,894 --> 00:11:35,894
All right. Which one is Julie?
206
00:11:38,498 --> 00:11:40,532
I don't know.
207
00:11:40,934 --> 00:11:43,525
- Why don't we just grab a chair?
- You first.
208
00:11:43,604 --> 00:11:45,194
No, you first.
209
00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:48,931
- How you doing?
- Good evening.
210
00:11:55,148 --> 00:11:57,113
Stop.
211
00:12:02,255 --> 00:12:05,222
Well, you ladies look lovely tonight.
212
00:12:12,199 --> 00:12:14,927
So Whatley says to me,
"Hey, I can make Catholic jokes.
213
00:12:15,002 --> 00:12:16,660
I used to be Catholic."
214
00:12:16,903 --> 00:12:19,130
Now, see, I don't think
it is a Catholic joke.
215
00:12:19,206 --> 00:12:21,638
I think it's more
of a Raquel Welch joke.
216
00:12:21,875 --> 00:12:26,844
What was it?
"No, I said, 'Hand me the buoys."'
217
00:12:31,318 --> 00:12:33,249
"Buoys."
218
00:12:34,388 --> 00:12:37,218
Don't you see
what Whatley is after?
219
00:12:37,290 --> 00:12:39,051
Total joke-telling immunity.
220
00:12:39,126 --> 00:12:41,285
He's already got
the big two religions covered.
221
00:12:41,361 --> 00:12:44,487
If he ever gets Polish citizenship,
there'll be no stopping him.
222
00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:46,328
So, what are you going to do?
223
00:12:46,633 --> 00:12:49,566
I think this Father Curtis
might be very interested to hear...
224
00:12:49,636 --> 00:12:53,331
what Whatley has
the pope doing with Raquel Welch.
225
00:12:54,841 --> 00:12:57,239
Hey, Beth, Arnie, it's Elaine.
226
00:12:57,310 --> 00:13:00,538
Thought you guys might wanna
have lunch. Give me a call. Bye.
227
00:13:00,847 --> 00:13:03,939
They're not getting a baby,
so you're taking them to lunch.
228
00:13:04,317 --> 00:13:06,009
I thought it would be nice.
229
00:13:06,386 --> 00:13:08,977
- Poor Beth.
- Hey, Arnie's just as upset.
230
00:13:09,056 --> 00:13:11,056
Oh, screw him.
231
00:13:11,858 --> 00:13:13,186
Listen to this.
232
00:13:13,260 --> 00:13:16,591
Marcy comes over, tells me her
ex-boyfriend was over late last night...
233
00:13:16,663 --> 00:13:20,460
and "Yada, yada, yada,
I'm really tired today."
234
00:13:22,002 --> 00:13:26,436
- What do you think she's tired from?
- Well, obviously the yada yada.
235
00:13:27,407 --> 00:13:29,566
You don't think
she'd yada yada sex?
236
00:13:30,577 --> 00:13:32,907
I've yada yada-ed sex.
237
00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:35,343
- Really?
- Yeah. I met this lawyer.
238
00:13:35,415 --> 00:13:37,642
We went out to dinner.
I had the lobster bisque.
239
00:13:37,718 --> 00:13:39,809
We went back to my place.
Yada, yada, yada...
240
00:13:39,886 --> 00:13:42,386
I never heard from him again.
241
00:13:43,957 --> 00:13:45,991
But you yada yada-ed
over the best part.
242
00:13:46,059 --> 00:13:48,559
No, I mentioned the bisque.
243
00:13:53,066 --> 00:13:55,828
Well, I gotta do something.
244
00:13:58,705 --> 00:14:00,705
Well, I gotta do something.
245
00:14:00,874 --> 00:14:03,033
George is already in there.
246
00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:07,746
No, Mickey and I.
We can't work it out.
247
00:14:07,814 --> 00:14:11,509
You know, I'm thinking of asking that
Karen out by myself. She's the one.
248
00:14:11,585 --> 00:14:13,118
You were leaning towards Julie.
249
00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:17,450
Well, I was. But the one I thought
was Julie turned out to be Karen.
250
00:14:19,726 --> 00:14:21,453
Well, it was a hell of a yada yada.
251
00:14:21,528 --> 00:14:24,188
He's moving to Seattle.
He wanted to say goodbye.
252
00:14:24,264 --> 00:14:26,958
I was just getting out of the shower
and yada, yada, yada...
253
00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:28,464
All right. Enough. Enough.
254
00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:33,800
From now on, no more yada yadas.
Just give me the full story.
255
00:14:33,874 --> 00:14:36,067
Okay. Well...
256
00:14:36,143 --> 00:14:38,370
when I got out of the shower,
I was dripping...
257
00:14:38,445 --> 00:14:41,207
Not that story. Another story.
258
00:14:41,281 --> 00:14:43,975
Tell me about the free facial.
259
00:14:44,151 --> 00:14:48,153
Okay, well, like I said,
I was on Third Avenue...
260
00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:50,653
and I stopped by
a large department store.
261
00:14:50,724 --> 00:14:52,724
- Which one?
- Bloomingdale's.
262
00:14:52,793 --> 00:14:54,485
Very good. Go on.
263
00:14:55,562 --> 00:15:00,156
- And... Oh, I stole a Piaget watch.
- What's that?
264
00:15:00,233 --> 00:15:03,393
And then I was on such a high...
265
00:15:03,470 --> 00:15:06,664
that I went upstairs
to the salon on the fifth floor...
266
00:15:06,740 --> 00:15:12,107
and got a massage and a
facial and skipped out on the bill.
267
00:15:18,151 --> 00:15:19,809
Shoplifting.
268
00:15:19,886 --> 00:15:23,478
Well, what about you?
You told me that you were engaged.
269
00:15:23,557 --> 00:15:25,284
What was the rest of that?
270
00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:36,665
Excuse me, Mother?
271
00:15:36,937 --> 00:15:39,096
- Sister.
- Sister. Right.
272
00:15:39,172 --> 00:15:41,832
Do you know when
Father Curtis has office hours?
273
00:15:41,908 --> 00:15:43,305
Well, not until tomorrow.
274
00:15:44,044 --> 00:15:46,374
I really need to speak with him.
275
00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:14,066
You know, that's a kneeler.
276
00:16:21,181 --> 00:16:23,112
Tell me your sins, my son.
277
00:16:23,183 --> 00:16:25,376
Well, I should mention
that I'm Jewish.
278
00:16:25,452 --> 00:16:28,043
- Oh, that's no sin.
- Oh, good.
279
00:16:30,457 --> 00:16:33,117
Anyway, I wanted to talk
to you about Dr. Whatley.
280
00:16:33,193 --> 00:16:34,521
I have a suspicion...
281
00:16:34,594 --> 00:16:38,357
that he's converted
to Judaism purely for the jokes.
282
00:16:38,965 --> 00:16:41,625
And this offends you
as a Jewish person?
283
00:16:41,701 --> 00:16:44,497
No, it offends me as a comedian.
284
00:16:51,311 --> 00:16:56,007
And it'll interest you to know
that he's also telling Catholic jokes.
285
00:16:56,082 --> 00:16:59,208
- Well...
- And, I mean, they're old jokes.
286
00:16:59,286 --> 00:17:03,550
I mean, the pope and
Raquel Welch in a lifeboat.
287
00:17:03,623 --> 00:17:05,657
I haven't heard that one.
288
00:17:08,028 --> 00:17:10,653
Oh, I'm sure you have.
They're out on the ocean...
289
00:17:10,730 --> 00:17:13,128
and yada, yada, yada and she...
290
00:17:13,199 --> 00:17:16,234
And she says, "Those aren't buoys."
291
00:17:22,943 --> 00:17:25,341
- Father.
- One second.
292
00:17:29,215 --> 00:17:32,580
Well, if it would make you feel
better, I could speak to Dr. Whatley.
293
00:17:32,652 --> 00:17:35,152
I have to go back and have
a wisdom tooth removed.
294
00:17:35,221 --> 00:17:36,982
Good luck.
You know the difference...
295
00:17:37,057 --> 00:17:39,990
between a dentist
and a sadist, don't you?
296
00:17:40,060 --> 00:17:42,321
Newer magazines.
297
00:17:46,232 --> 00:17:48,095
That's funny.
298
00:17:48,168 --> 00:17:50,532
Now if you would excuse me.
299
00:17:52,172 --> 00:17:54,433
Jerry, I gotta talk to you.
300
00:18:05,819 --> 00:18:07,477
- Hi.
- Hi, Kramer.
301
00:18:08,321 --> 00:18:09,854
Got a minute?
302
00:18:09,923 --> 00:18:13,254
Actually, my parents are over,
but would you like to meet them?
303
00:18:13,326 --> 00:18:15,656
- Yeah.
- Mom, Dad.
304
00:18:16,796 --> 00:18:18,295
Hi.
305
00:18:26,806 --> 00:18:29,534
Elaine, I have to ask you
about something.
306
00:18:29,609 --> 00:18:31,643
- What?
- The yada yada.
307
00:18:31,711 --> 00:18:34,644
- Yada yada?
- What exactly happened down there?
308
00:18:36,349 --> 00:18:40,385
Well, I don't know.
I mean, I talked to him...
309
00:18:40,453 --> 00:18:45,650
and blah, blah, blah.
He asked about you guys and:
310
00:18:45,725 --> 00:18:49,124
More questions. Blah, blah, blah.
311
00:18:49,195 --> 00:18:50,557
All right. Shut up.
312
00:18:51,664 --> 00:18:54,631
Shut up? Again you are telling
me to shut up?
313
00:18:54,701 --> 00:18:56,393
- What?
- You yelled at me...
314
00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:58,127
that time at the movies.
315
00:18:58,204 --> 00:19:01,205
That's why you're not
getting the baby.
316
00:19:01,975 --> 00:19:04,066
And you told that
to the adoption guy?
317
00:19:05,378 --> 00:19:08,140
- Slipped out.
- Oh, God.
318
00:19:08,214 --> 00:19:09,906
What am I gonna tell Beth?
319
00:19:11,084 --> 00:19:15,086
Well, Arnie, look, I'll go down
and talk to this adoption guy...
320
00:19:15,155 --> 00:19:17,348
and make sure
it all gets straightened out.
321
00:19:17,424 --> 00:19:22,427
- Just don't screw it up this time!
- See, again you're yelling.
322
00:19:22,495 --> 00:19:24,995
Not a fan of the yelling.
323
00:19:32,072 --> 00:19:33,605
Are you about done?
324
00:19:33,940 --> 00:19:35,598
Oh, I'm just getting warmed up.
325
00:19:38,645 --> 00:19:41,873
Because I'm just a sadist
with newer magazines.
326
00:19:44,417 --> 00:19:48,453
Father Curtis told me your little joke.
I really didn't appreciate it.
327
00:19:48,855 --> 00:19:50,946
Well, what about
all your Jewish jokes?
328
00:19:51,024 --> 00:19:53,615
I'm Jewish. You're not a dentist.
329
00:19:55,228 --> 00:19:58,729
You have no idea what my people
have been through.
330
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:04,126
- The Jews?
- No, the dentists.
331
00:20:05,004 --> 00:20:07,800
You know, we have the highest
suicide rate of any profession.
332
00:20:08,274 --> 00:20:10,808
Is that why it's so hard
to get an appointment?
333
00:20:14,881 --> 00:20:19,577
So I'll.... I'll see you
tonight, huh? Okay.
334
00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:23,144
- Date with Karen?
- No, Julie.
335
00:20:23,490 --> 00:20:25,558
- She's the one.
- What happened to Karen?
336
00:20:25,625 --> 00:20:29,320
Well, Mickey and her have more in
common. Her parents are little people.
337
00:20:29,395 --> 00:20:31,429
Oh, small world.
338
00:20:32,365 --> 00:20:35,332
So little people can have
"non-little-people" children?
339
00:20:35,401 --> 00:20:37,298
Oh, yeah, and vice versa.
340
00:20:37,370 --> 00:20:40,769
Yeah, Mother Nature's
a mad scientist, Jerry.
341
00:20:41,441 --> 00:20:43,702
So you won't believe
what happened with Whatley.
342
00:20:43,776 --> 00:20:47,835
It got back to him that I made this little
dentist joke and he got all offended.
343
00:20:48,348 --> 00:20:50,814
Those people can be so touchy.
344
00:20:50,884 --> 00:20:55,580
- "Those people." Listen to yourself.
- What?
345
00:20:55,722 --> 00:20:58,882
You think that dentists are
so different from me and you?
346
00:20:58,958 --> 00:21:03,461
They came to this country just like
everybody else in search of a dream.
347
00:21:03,530 --> 00:21:05,928
- Whatley's from Jersey.
- Yes, and now...
348
00:21:05,999 --> 00:21:08,499
he's a full-fledged American.
349
00:21:08,568 --> 00:21:10,761
Kramer, he's just a dentist.
350
00:21:10,837 --> 00:21:13,735
Yeah, and you're an anti-dentite.
351
00:21:16,176 --> 00:21:18,005
I am not an anti-dentite.
352
00:21:18,077 --> 00:21:20,611
You're a rabid anti-dentite.
353
00:21:21,981 --> 00:21:24,572
Oh, it starts with a few jokes
and some slurs:
354
00:21:24,651 --> 00:21:27,049
"Hey, denty."
355
00:21:27,120 --> 00:21:30,314
Next thing you know, you're saying
they should have their own schools.
356
00:21:30,390 --> 00:21:33,288
- They do have their own schools.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah!
357
00:21:35,862 --> 00:21:41,025
Oh, come on. One little baby,
whatever you have in stock.
358
00:21:41,100 --> 00:21:43,498
- Miss Benes, please.
- Lookit, lookit, Brian.
359
00:21:44,404 --> 00:21:49,669
These people are getting
a baby, period.
360
00:21:49,742 --> 00:21:53,539
Now, we can do this the easy way...
361
00:21:53,613 --> 00:21:58,047
or we can do this...
362
00:21:58,117 --> 00:21:59,878
the fun way.
363
00:22:10,396 --> 00:22:12,589
I'm sorry to bother you.
But you always said...
364
00:22:12,665 --> 00:22:14,596
- you'd be there for me.
- What's wrong?
365
00:22:14,667 --> 00:22:18,032
- I'm thinking of leaving Arnie.
- Talk to me.
366
00:22:19,606 --> 00:22:22,607
He met with Elaine,
and I asked him what happened.
367
00:22:22,675 --> 00:22:25,608
And he yada yada-ed me.
368
00:22:25,678 --> 00:22:27,405
Could they be having an affair?
369
00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:29,377
I wouldn't put
anything past anybody.
370
00:22:29,549 --> 00:22:31,116
But we just got married.
371
00:22:31,184 --> 00:22:33,548
Well, obviously, that was a mistake.
372
00:22:33,620 --> 00:22:37,918
You need to forget about Arnie. The
important thing is you're moving on.
373
00:22:37,991 --> 00:22:40,218
Why would Elaine do that to me?
374
00:22:40,293 --> 00:22:43,521
Forget about Elaine.
Let's just focus on us.
375
00:22:43,596 --> 00:22:45,789
- Come on, big hug.
- Hey, Jerry.
376
00:22:45,865 --> 00:22:47,728
Where's Kramer?
I've got exciting news.
377
00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:50,801
- I'm in the middle of something.
- Karen and I are getting married.
378
00:22:50,870 --> 00:22:54,406
Oh, congratulations.
Her marriage just fell apart.
379
00:22:54,641 --> 00:22:56,936
- How many is that for you?
- Two.
380
00:22:57,343 --> 00:23:00,003
You're a lightweight.
Come on, honey.
381
00:23:07,654 --> 00:23:09,813
This church give you any ideas?
382
00:23:12,058 --> 00:23:13,318
- Hey, Jerry.
- Hey.
383
00:23:16,796 --> 00:23:18,625
What are you doing here with Beth?
384
00:23:18,831 --> 00:23:20,660
Beth and Arnie broke up.
385
00:23:21,134 --> 00:23:23,065
So they don't want a baby?
386
00:23:32,645 --> 00:23:35,714
I think I'm gonna be sick.
387
00:23:39,952 --> 00:23:41,952
Hey, where's Marcy?
388
00:23:42,555 --> 00:23:47,183
She went shopping
for some shoes for the wedding...
389
00:23:47,260 --> 00:23:51,023
and yada, yada, yada,
I'll see her in six to eight months.
390
00:23:56,169 --> 00:23:59,363
- Hey, Kramer, over here.
- I'd just as soon not sit next to you.
391
00:24:00,006 --> 00:24:01,232
Kramer.
392
00:24:08,214 --> 00:24:11,977
- Look, there's Mickey and his parents.
- Oh, a nice-looking family.
393
00:24:12,051 --> 00:24:13,641
Very handsome.
394
00:24:14,287 --> 00:24:16,218
How you doing?
395
00:24:16,289 --> 00:24:18,186
Hey, Kramer.
396
00:24:25,965 --> 00:24:28,124
You must be so proud.
397
00:24:28,201 --> 00:24:30,599
We never thought he'd settle down.
398
00:24:30,670 --> 00:24:32,795
Well, not again.
399
00:24:34,907 --> 00:24:39,239
Oh, Mickey. Excuse me.
I can't take this.
400
00:24:45,518 --> 00:24:47,347
Hi, Mr. Abbott.
401
00:24:48,821 --> 00:24:52,118
That's Dr. Abbott, D.D.S.
402
00:24:52,191 --> 00:24:54,885
Tim Whatley was
one of my students.
403
00:24:54,961 --> 00:24:57,495
And if this wasn't
my son's wedding day...
404
00:24:57,563 --> 00:25:02,066
I'd knock your teeth out,
you anti-dentite bastard.
405
00:25:03,636 --> 00:25:05,670
What was that all about?
406
00:25:05,738 --> 00:25:09,740
Oh, I said something about dentists,
and it got blown all out of proportion.
407
00:25:10,243 --> 00:25:13,779
Hey, what do you call a doctor
who fails out of med school?
408
00:25:13,846 --> 00:25:16,312
- What?
- A dentist.
409
00:25:17,383 --> 00:25:19,474
- That's a good one.
- Yeah.
410
00:25:19,552 --> 00:25:22,348
- Dentists.
- Yeah, who needs them?
411
00:25:22,422 --> 00:25:24,456
Not to mention
the blacks and the Jews.
412
00:25:41,574 --> 00:25:45,235
- Where's Beth?
- She ran out to get her head shaved.
413
00:25:46,045 --> 00:25:48,773
We are gathered here today
to unite this couple...
414
00:25:48,848 --> 00:25:52,611
in the bonds of holy matrimony.
415
00:25:53,052 --> 00:25:55,484
Those wisdom teeth
are tough to get out.
416
00:25:55,555 --> 00:26:00,183
Marriage is not an institution
to be entered into lightly.
417
00:26:00,259 --> 00:26:03,795
Yada, yada, yada.
I pronounce you man and wife.
418
00:26:17,210 --> 00:26:19,540
I really wanted you.
32487
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