All language subtitles for Half Magic 2018f.e

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:11,577 --> 00:00:16,048 [MUSIC PLAYING] 2 00:00:18,851 --> 00:00:22,788 WOMAN: Danny, don't splash me! [LAUGHS] 3 00:00:22,788 --> 00:00:23,856 Stop. I'm getting wet. 4 00:00:23,856 --> 00:00:27,659 -MAN: That's the idea. -[WOMAN GIGGLING] 5 00:00:28,494 --> 00:00:30,262 -WOMAN: Stop it. -Hi, sweetie. 6 00:00:30,262 --> 00:00:31,497 MAN: Oh, come on! 7 00:00:31,497 --> 00:00:33,465 Come on, let's go back to my place. 8 00:00:33,465 --> 00:00:35,067 WOMAN: Maybe we should wait. 9 00:00:35,067 --> 00:00:36,969 MAN: Wait, schmait! 10 00:00:38,670 --> 00:00:40,205 These two people are not married, 11 00:00:40,205 --> 00:00:42,541 and they're going to have premarital sex. 12 00:00:42,541 --> 00:00:44,209 You could go to hell for that. 13 00:00:44,209 --> 00:00:45,778 All right, that's it. You're not allowed 14 00:00:45,778 --> 00:00:47,413 to watch this show anymore. 15 00:00:47,413 --> 00:00:50,215 It inspires urges that are... 16 00:00:50,215 --> 00:00:53,619 -wrong and bad. -WOMAN: Let's go to your place. 17 00:00:53,619 --> 00:00:54,386 MAN: Groovy! 18 00:00:54,386 --> 00:00:56,588 You could go to hell for those urges. 19 00:01:00,325 --> 00:01:02,795 In hell, there is a fire 20 00:01:02,795 --> 00:01:06,832 that will lap at you for all eternity. 21 00:01:06,832 --> 00:01:08,767 You gotta decide... 22 00:01:08,767 --> 00:01:13,572 Do you want to go to heaven, or do you wanna go to hell? 23 00:01:13,572 --> 00:01:15,240 -[GASPS] -[ORGAN PLAYING] 24 00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:17,409 -[PANTING] -[MAN GRUNTING] 25 00:01:17,409 --> 00:01:20,612 Yeah. You a bad girl? Huh? You a bad girl? 26 00:01:20,612 --> 00:01:22,214 -I'm a bad girl. -Yeah! 27 00:01:22,214 --> 00:01:24,783 You're a dirty little slut, huh? Dirty little slut, 28 00:01:24,783 --> 00:01:25,984 -yeah. -Um, yes. 29 00:01:25,984 --> 00:01:26,952 Say it. Say you're a dirty slut. 30 00:01:26,952 --> 00:01:30,089 -I'm a dirty slut. -Yeah, you're a dirty slut! 31 00:01:30,856 --> 00:01:34,093 [GROANING] 32 00:01:39,531 --> 00:01:41,900 Oh. Hmm. 33 00:01:42,234 --> 00:01:45,537 Hmm. Hmm. 34 00:01:46,004 --> 00:01:47,473 Okay. 35 00:01:47,906 --> 00:01:49,308 Oh. 36 00:01:49,741 --> 00:01:51,176 [SIGHS] 37 00:01:52,911 --> 00:01:53,479 Mm. 38 00:01:53,479 --> 00:01:55,981 Why do you always call me a dirty little slut? 39 00:01:55,981 --> 00:01:57,015 Ah. 40 00:01:57,015 --> 00:01:59,418 Come on. You love it. 41 00:01:59,418 --> 00:02:01,120 I like having sex on a bed. 42 00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:03,455 Is this because maybe you're, uh, you're jealous 43 00:02:03,455 --> 00:02:04,756 that I'm more successful than you? 44 00:02:04,756 --> 00:02:06,091 -[DOOR KNOCKING] -MAN: Mr. Brock, 45 00:02:06,091 --> 00:02:07,092 we're ready for you onstage. 46 00:02:07,092 --> 00:02:10,395 Peter, you have been in one great movie after another. 47 00:02:10,395 --> 00:02:12,231 Walk me through your process. 48 00:02:12,231 --> 00:02:14,299 How do you prepare for this? 49 00:02:14,566 --> 00:02:17,136 I tell you, I play a lot of action heroes. 50 00:02:17,136 --> 00:02:18,036 Um... 51 00:02:18,036 --> 00:02:19,671 and in those-- in those movies, 52 00:02:19,671 --> 00:02:22,207 I have heavy artillery. I have guns, 53 00:02:22,207 --> 00:02:23,642 okay? 54 00:02:24,476 --> 00:02:26,612 I have a gun on me right now. 55 00:02:26,812 --> 00:02:28,814 Not physically, in the physical sense. 56 00:02:28,814 --> 00:02:31,216 I put it on the table earlier. It's right here. 57 00:02:31,216 --> 00:02:32,317 Imagine it, okay? 58 00:02:32,317 --> 00:02:35,254 -It's an emotional gun for me. -Right. 59 00:02:35,254 --> 00:02:36,922 This gun's here... 60 00:02:37,156 --> 00:02:37,890 all the time. 61 00:02:37,890 --> 00:02:40,826 Sometimes I put it in my pocket, sometimes I put it in my... 62 00:02:40,826 --> 00:02:42,594 That's how I prepare. I'm always ready. 63 00:02:42,594 --> 00:02:45,797 I'm always the action hero. Bang! Not real. 64 00:02:45,797 --> 00:02:47,332 But real. 65 00:02:47,466 --> 00:02:49,134 -MAN: Uh-- -I'll do it. 66 00:02:49,134 --> 00:02:50,602 Don't do it. 67 00:02:50,602 --> 00:02:51,370 I won't do it. 68 00:02:51,370 --> 00:02:53,138 You've been doing this for years, and years and years. 69 00:02:53,138 --> 00:02:55,440 Certainly, you've heard some of the talk on the streets. 70 00:02:55,440 --> 00:02:57,776 People say that Peter is just a tough guy, 71 00:02:57,776 --> 00:03:00,479 a hard guy to work with. How do you respond to that? 72 00:03:00,479 --> 00:03:04,783 Yeah, Napoleon died exiled on an island of-- of leprosy. 73 00:03:04,783 --> 00:03:05,817 That's-- that's true. 74 00:03:05,817 --> 00:03:06,852 -That's history. -MAN: Yeah. 75 00:03:06,852 --> 00:03:10,055 Jesus died on the cross, you know? 76 00:03:10,122 --> 00:03:11,690 Um, visionaries die 77 00:03:11,690 --> 00:03:14,693 sometimes quicker than non-visionaries. 78 00:03:14,693 --> 00:03:15,527 You're a visionary? 79 00:03:15,527 --> 00:03:16,795 PETER: Thank you. But I'm not saying-- 80 00:03:16,795 --> 00:03:18,263 -Oh, you're asking. I think... -It was a question. 81 00:03:18,263 --> 00:03:20,632 ...um, I think that's up for kinda the press to decide, 82 00:03:20,632 --> 00:03:21,600 and I think that bloggers, 83 00:03:21,600 --> 00:03:23,602 and people who write physical magazines 84 00:03:23,602 --> 00:03:24,903 have said I was a-- a visionary. 85 00:03:24,903 --> 00:03:26,605 People have-- have tweeted me about that. 86 00:03:26,605 --> 00:03:28,207 You know, you made Bros Before Hos. 87 00:03:28,207 --> 00:03:29,474 Why don't you make the female version? 88 00:03:29,474 --> 00:03:31,543 I-- I wrote a great script. It's called Chicks Before Dicks. 89 00:03:31,543 --> 00:03:33,345 -Did you read it? -Uh, look, Boo Boo, 90 00:03:33,345 --> 00:03:34,713 you have all the talent. You really do. 91 00:03:34,713 --> 00:03:35,881 And I'm the one that discovered you 92 00:03:35,881 --> 00:03:37,249 and gave you your big break, right? 93 00:03:37,249 --> 00:03:38,283 -Yeah. -Yeah, I promoted you 94 00:03:38,283 --> 00:03:39,985 -to be my D girl, right? -I want to be a writer. 95 00:03:39,985 --> 00:03:41,687 I know you want to be a writer, and in due time. 96 00:03:41,687 --> 00:03:44,356 Really. Your writing is great. It's fresh and very unique. 97 00:03:44,356 --> 00:03:45,390 But you're bogging yourself down 98 00:03:45,390 --> 00:03:47,192 talking about stupid shit. You know what? You-- 99 00:03:47,192 --> 00:03:49,394 Nobody wants to hear about women's stories, all right? 100 00:03:49,394 --> 00:03:51,330 If you want to make a film, you got to talk about a man. 101 00:03:51,330 --> 00:03:52,898 You gotta write about a man. That's what you have to do. 102 00:03:52,898 --> 00:03:54,833 Well, can you read my script? It's called The Year of My Yoni. 103 00:03:54,833 --> 00:03:56,602 It's about a woman who goes on a spiritual quest 104 00:03:56,602 --> 00:03:58,570 to find happiness and to learn about her yoni. 105 00:03:58,570 --> 00:03:59,771 Yoni? I don't even know what that is. 106 00:03:59,771 --> 00:04:01,373 Is that, like, a new way of saying "vagina"? 107 00:04:01,373 --> 00:04:02,774 It sounds like a porno. I'm not into it. 108 00:04:02,774 --> 00:04:05,811 Look, a guy bashing another guy's skull in 109 00:04:05,811 --> 00:04:08,614 with a baseball bat, that's what sells. 110 00:04:10,015 --> 00:04:12,484 Well, I could change the title to The Ultra-Violent Yoni. 111 00:04:12,484 --> 00:04:14,786 You know, that's a good start. You could put more violence 112 00:04:14,786 --> 00:04:15,988 in your script, that'd definitely get 113 00:04:15,988 --> 00:04:17,322 a better chance of getting it made. Um, 114 00:04:17,322 --> 00:04:19,124 on my end, I'm gonna put more female characters 115 00:04:19,124 --> 00:04:20,726 -in my next script. -Really? 116 00:04:20,726 --> 00:04:23,028 Yeah, uh, it's called Kill the Sluts. 117 00:04:23,028 --> 00:04:24,162 Uh, I'm gonna pick a title 118 00:04:24,162 --> 00:04:25,330 that's more PC a little bit later. 119 00:04:25,330 --> 00:04:27,366 That's a working title. But basically, uh, 120 00:04:27,366 --> 00:04:29,968 the movie's about this crazy psychopathic killer 121 00:04:29,968 --> 00:04:30,969 that goes on a killing rampage 122 00:04:30,969 --> 00:04:32,104 and kills all these teenage sluts. 123 00:04:32,104 --> 00:04:34,039 But the only person that he can't kill 124 00:04:34,039 --> 00:04:35,507 is an 18-year-old virgin. 125 00:04:35,507 --> 00:04:38,076 Don't you think that'll send out a weird message to women 126 00:04:38,076 --> 00:04:39,811 and teenage girls about sex? And those women 127 00:04:39,811 --> 00:04:41,446 might grow up and have a lot of issues. 128 00:04:41,446 --> 00:04:42,981 I'm not saying I'm against women's rights. 129 00:04:42,981 --> 00:04:44,716 I'm just saying that there's no market 130 00:04:44,716 --> 00:04:46,084 for their films. 131 00:04:46,084 --> 00:04:50,389 [MUSIC PLAYING] 132 00:05:35,534 --> 00:05:37,035 [SIGHS] 133 00:05:41,640 --> 00:05:44,543 [UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING] 134 00:05:58,357 --> 00:06:00,992 -[LAUGHS] -WOMAN: Hello! 135 00:06:01,093 --> 00:06:02,127 [GASPS] 136 00:06:02,127 --> 00:06:03,962 -Welcome! -Welcome, goddess! 137 00:06:03,962 --> 00:06:04,963 Is this your first time? 138 00:06:04,963 --> 00:06:07,265 -I guess so. -Are you ready 139 00:06:07,265 --> 00:06:09,134 to uncover your deepest desires 140 00:06:09,134 --> 00:06:12,504 and join the pleasure revolution? 141 00:06:12,504 --> 00:06:14,873 -HONEY: I don't know. -That's good enough for now. 142 00:06:14,873 --> 00:06:16,641 You are in exactly the right place. 143 00:06:16,641 --> 00:06:19,544 -ROXY: Yes! Welcome! -HONEY: Oh. 144 00:06:20,979 --> 00:06:24,082 Fear! So what? 145 00:06:24,082 --> 00:06:27,953 Failure! So what? 146 00:06:27,953 --> 00:06:30,555 WOMAN: My pussy is strong! 147 00:06:30,822 --> 00:06:33,291 My pussy is strong! 148 00:06:33,291 --> 00:06:35,460 My pussy is a genius! 149 00:06:35,460 --> 00:06:38,330 ALL: My pussy is a genius! 150 00:06:38,330 --> 00:06:42,267 We must listen to our pussies. 151 00:06:42,267 --> 00:06:46,772 ALL: We must listen to our pussies. 152 00:06:46,972 --> 00:06:49,975 [BREATHING HEAVILY] 153 00:06:49,975 --> 00:06:51,810 Ladies, I would now like to introduce you 154 00:06:51,810 --> 00:06:54,112 to a dear friend of mine, my mentor, 155 00:06:54,112 --> 00:06:59,818 -Dr. Christiane Northrup! -[CHEERING] 156 00:07:01,887 --> 00:07:03,989 -What a pleasure. -Thank you. 157 00:07:03,989 --> 00:07:06,091 Thank you. Thank you. 158 00:07:06,091 --> 00:07:07,526 All right... 159 00:07:07,526 --> 00:07:08,827 I have something... 160 00:07:08,827 --> 00:07:12,264 really magical to tell you. 161 00:07:13,131 --> 00:07:16,067 I love my breasts. 162 00:07:16,201 --> 00:07:17,369 Say it with me. 163 00:07:17,369 --> 00:07:21,306 ALL: I love my breasts. 164 00:07:21,306 --> 00:07:22,674 I love your breasts, too, Chris. 165 00:07:22,674 --> 00:07:26,711 -And I love yours. Thank you. -Oh, thank you. 166 00:07:26,711 --> 00:07:27,846 Now it is time to honor 167 00:07:27,846 --> 00:07:29,548 the breasts of the women in the room. 168 00:07:29,548 --> 00:07:32,784 I would like you to turn to the person next to you, 169 00:07:32,784 --> 00:07:35,387 and look at her breasts and say, 170 00:07:35,387 --> 00:07:40,492 "Your bodacious ta-tas honor me and they honor you." 171 00:07:40,492 --> 00:07:42,561 Find-- everybody find a partner, please. 172 00:07:42,561 --> 00:07:44,963 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 173 00:07:44,963 --> 00:07:47,365 Excuse me, could you-- could you be my partner? 174 00:07:47,365 --> 00:07:48,633 -WOMAN: Yes, sure. -Okay. 175 00:07:48,633 --> 00:07:49,768 Hi! I don't have a partner. 176 00:07:49,768 --> 00:07:51,903 Is it possible we could do a three-way? 177 00:07:51,903 --> 00:07:52,871 I've never done a three-way. 178 00:07:52,871 --> 00:07:55,774 This is my third time taking the class. 179 00:07:55,874 --> 00:07:57,642 First time... 180 00:07:57,642 --> 00:07:59,044 I liked my boobs. 181 00:07:59,044 --> 00:08:02,180 Second time, I loved my boobs. 182 00:08:02,180 --> 00:08:02,948 Now... 183 00:08:02,948 --> 00:08:06,284 [WHISPERING] I really, really love my boobs. 184 00:08:06,384 --> 00:08:07,486 -Mm! -Wow. 185 00:08:07,486 --> 00:08:10,856 Yeah. This is a powerful exercise to release the shame 186 00:08:10,856 --> 00:08:13,625 that we carry in our sexual organs. 187 00:08:13,625 --> 00:08:14,993 Okay! [SIGHS] 188 00:08:14,993 --> 00:08:19,531 Your bodacious ta-tas honor me and they honor you. 189 00:08:20,265 --> 00:08:24,102 Your bodacious ta-tas honor me and they honor you. 190 00:08:24,803 --> 00:08:25,403 Okay! 191 00:08:25,403 --> 00:08:28,940 Your bodacious ta-tas honor me and they honor you. 192 00:08:28,940 --> 00:08:31,943 Wow! This is my first lesbian experience. 193 00:08:31,943 --> 00:08:35,046 I didn't know I had it in me. [LAUGHS] 194 00:08:35,447 --> 00:08:36,114 Okay. I-- 195 00:08:36,114 --> 00:08:37,949 are you Eva St. Claire the designer? 196 00:08:37,949 --> 00:08:39,284 -Yes. -Wow, I'm-- 197 00:08:39,284 --> 00:08:42,754 Why are you in this class? You seem so together. 198 00:08:43,488 --> 00:08:44,990 Believe me... 199 00:08:44,990 --> 00:08:45,891 I have issues. 200 00:08:45,891 --> 00:08:47,492 WOMAN: That is now the end of the class 201 00:08:47,492 --> 00:08:49,427 for the Divine Feminine Workshop. 202 00:08:49,427 --> 00:08:51,463 We will be meeting next week 203 00:08:51,463 --> 00:08:52,130 to worship 204 00:08:52,130 --> 00:08:55,300 -and decorate our pussies. -[GASPS] 205 00:08:55,300 --> 00:08:57,035 [CHEERING] 206 00:08:57,035 --> 00:08:58,737 WOMAN: Thank you. 207 00:09:00,772 --> 00:09:05,844 [ALL CHANTING] Pussy! Pussy! Pussy! Pussy! 208 00:09:05,844 --> 00:09:07,245 This class changed my life. 209 00:09:07,245 --> 00:09:09,548 This class, my color-therapy workshops, 210 00:09:09,548 --> 00:09:12,817 and my past-life regression conferences. 211 00:09:13,285 --> 00:09:14,986 -What's color therapy? -Oh! 212 00:09:14,986 --> 00:09:17,756 It's about how certain colors make you feel. 213 00:09:18,356 --> 00:09:20,158 That sounds helpful. 214 00:09:20,158 --> 00:09:20,725 Oh! 215 00:09:20,725 --> 00:09:22,861 Do you guys want to come to the place where I work? 216 00:09:22,861 --> 00:09:25,964 I cast magical spells to make your dreams come true. 217 00:09:25,964 --> 00:09:27,065 I'm a hope-ologist. 218 00:09:27,065 --> 00:09:29,701 -What's a hope-ologist? -I just made that word up. 219 00:09:29,701 --> 00:09:30,502 Isn't it awesome? 220 00:09:30,502 --> 00:09:34,472 I believe in the religion of hope, or hope-ology. 221 00:09:34,472 --> 00:09:35,707 I just made that up, too! 222 00:09:35,707 --> 00:09:38,443 I just spent an hour singing about my pussy, 223 00:09:38,443 --> 00:09:39,644 so why the hell not? 224 00:09:39,644 --> 00:09:41,313 Yeah, I mean, it's either that or going home 225 00:09:41,313 --> 00:09:42,781 to think about how much I hate myself, 226 00:09:42,781 --> 00:09:44,883 -so let's do it. -Let's do it! 227 00:09:44,883 --> 00:09:48,720 ♪ Sha-ba-lum ah-ooh Sha-ba-lum ♪ 228 00:09:48,720 --> 00:09:52,591 ♪ Ah-ooh sha-ba-lum Ah-ooh ♪ 229 00:09:52,591 --> 00:09:54,359 This place is really cool. 230 00:09:54,359 --> 00:09:55,760 CANDY: Okay. 231 00:09:56,995 --> 00:09:57,862 So... 232 00:09:57,862 --> 00:09:59,764 what do you want to wish for? 233 00:09:59,764 --> 00:10:01,733 -How does it work? -Oh... 234 00:10:01,733 --> 00:10:04,502 I carve these candles and cast spells on them. 235 00:10:04,502 --> 00:10:06,271 I don't know if it's positive intention 236 00:10:06,271 --> 00:10:08,907 or creative visualization or actual magic, 237 00:10:08,907 --> 00:10:11,977 but these spells work for a lot of people. 238 00:10:11,977 --> 00:10:15,113 Some of my regulars call me The Witch. 239 00:10:15,547 --> 00:10:17,515 -What kind of spells? -Oh! All kinds. 240 00:10:17,515 --> 00:10:20,685 Some for serious stuff, like for love, or work and stuff, 241 00:10:20,685 --> 00:10:23,922 but some fun ones, too, like, "I want my own unicorn." 242 00:10:23,922 --> 00:10:25,123 They aren't magical. 243 00:10:25,123 --> 00:10:27,125 They're overpriced candles for rich idiots 244 00:10:27,125 --> 00:10:28,893 who got nothing better to do. 245 00:10:28,893 --> 00:10:29,861 Your paycheck's on my desk. 246 00:10:29,861 --> 00:10:31,262 Can you take out the trash while you're at it? 247 00:10:31,262 --> 00:10:32,831 I don't want the rats getting in there. 248 00:10:32,831 --> 00:10:34,199 Sorry, Mr. J. 249 00:10:34,199 --> 00:10:36,568 Did Mr. Fun Time just call us idiots? 250 00:10:36,568 --> 00:10:38,470 What an asshole. I think some people 251 00:10:38,470 --> 00:10:40,372 just don't have enough imagination. 252 00:10:40,372 --> 00:10:42,374 Honey, I think you should go first. 253 00:10:42,374 --> 00:10:44,309 [SIGHS] Okay. Um, hmm. 254 00:10:44,309 --> 00:10:46,478 Well, I want to have hot sex with someone 255 00:10:46,478 --> 00:10:48,013 who's really nice to me. [SIGHS] 256 00:10:48,013 --> 00:10:52,317 Hot sex. Yes. Give it to me! I want that, too. 257 00:10:52,317 --> 00:10:56,354 I want to not fall asleep during sex. 258 00:10:56,354 --> 00:10:58,156 I want to be awake. 259 00:10:58,990 --> 00:11:00,258 I want to be... 260 00:11:00,258 --> 00:11:02,127 an active part of it. 261 00:11:02,127 --> 00:11:05,196 -Okay, I want in. I want in! -Okay. 262 00:11:05,263 --> 00:11:06,464 Um... 263 00:11:06,464 --> 00:11:09,034 I'm gonna use the red candle 264 00:11:09,034 --> 00:11:10,635 for passion. 265 00:11:10,802 --> 00:11:11,636 So... 266 00:11:11,636 --> 00:11:13,371 you hold the candle and you think 267 00:11:13,371 --> 00:11:16,107 about what you want to release from your life, 268 00:11:16,107 --> 00:11:19,177 and then think about what you want. 269 00:11:19,310 --> 00:11:21,946 Picture the hot sex. 270 00:11:26,151 --> 00:11:27,686 Okay. 271 00:11:27,752 --> 00:11:28,520 All right. 272 00:11:28,520 --> 00:11:30,855 I want to have the hottest sex I've ever had 273 00:11:30,855 --> 00:11:33,825 with someone who's really nice to me. 274 00:11:35,226 --> 00:11:37,062 And so mote it be. 275 00:11:37,195 --> 00:11:37,762 "Mote"? 276 00:11:37,762 --> 00:11:40,932 It's witch talk for "and so shall it be." 277 00:11:41,099 --> 00:11:42,467 Witch talk. 278 00:11:42,467 --> 00:11:44,069 I like it. 279 00:11:44,369 --> 00:11:44,969 Okay. 280 00:11:44,969 --> 00:11:48,373 You guys, I really just want my ex-husband back. 281 00:11:48,373 --> 00:11:50,875 [SIGHS] I don't need hot sex. 282 00:11:50,875 --> 00:11:51,576 I mean, like... 283 00:11:51,576 --> 00:11:54,979 room-temperature-warm sex would be nice 284 00:11:54,979 --> 00:11:57,215 for me. Here we go. 285 00:11:57,415 --> 00:11:59,718 -[SIGHS] -And so mote it be. 286 00:11:59,718 --> 00:12:01,453 And so mote it be. 287 00:12:02,187 --> 00:12:03,221 Hmm. 288 00:12:03,221 --> 00:12:05,557 I want hot sex with Daniel. 289 00:12:05,657 --> 00:12:07,759 -So mote it be. -So mote it be. 290 00:12:13,565 --> 00:12:14,332 [SIGHS] 291 00:12:14,332 --> 00:12:17,836 Okay, I don't know if all of this is BS, 292 00:12:17,836 --> 00:12:19,370 but I actually feel better. 293 00:12:19,370 --> 00:12:22,240 Oh, my God, I'm invited to a fun party tonight! 294 00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:23,908 Do you guys want to go with me? 295 00:12:23,908 --> 00:12:25,143 -Yeah! -CANDY: Yeah! 296 00:12:25,143 --> 00:12:28,279 ♪ I got the light ♪ 297 00:12:28,913 --> 00:12:31,883 ♪ I got the light ♪ 298 00:12:32,751 --> 00:12:35,420 ♪ I got the light ♪ 299 00:12:36,554 --> 00:12:39,357 ♪ I got the light ♪ 300 00:12:40,158 --> 00:12:43,328 ♪ I got the light ♪ 301 00:12:43,762 --> 00:12:44,562 [CHEERING] 302 00:12:44,562 --> 00:12:45,830 ♪ I got the light ♪ 303 00:12:45,830 --> 00:12:48,099 -CANDY: Oh, my God. -Wait for it. 304 00:12:48,099 --> 00:12:49,434 ♪ I got the light ♪ 305 00:12:49,434 --> 00:12:51,436 Oh, yeah! Here we go. 306 00:12:51,436 --> 00:12:54,205 [GASPS] Ah! 307 00:12:54,205 --> 00:12:58,076 Oh, my God! Amazing! 308 00:12:58,877 --> 00:12:59,778 Hi! 309 00:12:59,778 --> 00:13:02,147 ♪ I got the light ♪ 310 00:13:02,147 --> 00:13:03,815 [GIGGLING] 311 00:13:07,418 --> 00:13:10,121 -[CHEERING] -[EVA SCREAMS] 312 00:13:10,221 --> 00:13:11,322 EVA: Oh, my God. 313 00:13:11,322 --> 00:13:13,892 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 314 00:13:14,092 --> 00:13:15,760 [HONEY CHEERING] 315 00:13:18,863 --> 00:13:22,300 ♪ I got the light ♪ 316 00:13:22,801 --> 00:13:34,179 ♪ I got the light ♪ 317 00:13:37,515 --> 00:13:40,084 -Hey! -Ah! 318 00:13:40,285 --> 00:13:42,420 -EVA: Hi! -It's so good to see you, babe. 319 00:13:42,420 --> 00:13:43,555 Good to see you, too. 320 00:13:43,555 --> 00:13:45,623 And who is your gorgeous friend? 321 00:13:45,623 --> 00:13:46,357 EVA: Oh, uh... 322 00:13:46,357 --> 00:13:48,760 Honey, this is Freedom. He's a great artist. 323 00:13:48,760 --> 00:13:50,829 He does these cool light installations. 324 00:13:50,829 --> 00:13:53,464 -HONEY: Nice to meet you. -Nice to meet you. 325 00:13:53,464 --> 00:13:54,966 [CHUCKLING] 326 00:13:54,966 --> 00:13:57,268 I would really love to show you my art installations. 327 00:13:57,268 --> 00:13:58,603 I would love to see your art installations. 328 00:13:58,603 --> 00:14:00,972 Yeah, I'd really love to dance with you right now. 329 00:14:00,972 --> 00:14:02,574 -Okay! -Yeah. 330 00:14:02,574 --> 00:14:06,077 [MUSIC PLAYING] 331 00:14:08,046 --> 00:14:11,149 ♪ I got the light ♪ 332 00:14:11,482 --> 00:14:14,886 ♪ I got the light ♪ 333 00:14:15,753 --> 00:14:18,122 ♪ I got the light ♪ 334 00:14:18,957 --> 00:14:21,993 ♪ Oh I got the light ♪ 335 00:14:22,560 --> 00:14:25,096 -Want to get something to eat? -[SIGHS] 336 00:14:25,096 --> 00:14:28,299 I-- I can't, 'cause I have to get up early tomorrow, 337 00:14:28,299 --> 00:14:30,568 and I have a boyfriend. 338 00:14:31,336 --> 00:14:33,805 [SPEAKING SPANISH] 339 00:14:33,972 --> 00:14:35,306 What's that? 340 00:14:35,306 --> 00:14:36,174 "No one... 341 00:14:36,174 --> 00:14:37,308 can take away the dance." 342 00:14:37,308 --> 00:14:39,544 -[CHUCKLES] -It's a Spanish saying. 343 00:14:39,544 --> 00:14:40,578 No matter what happens, 344 00:14:40,578 --> 00:14:43,314 we'll always have this wonderful night... 345 00:14:43,982 --> 00:14:45,483 and our dance. 346 00:14:45,483 --> 00:14:47,018 HONEY: Oh. 347 00:14:47,352 --> 00:14:49,888 Thanks for your jacket. [CHUCKLES] 348 00:14:50,255 --> 00:14:51,856 That was fun. 349 00:14:51,990 --> 00:14:53,191 ♪ I got the light ♪ 350 00:14:53,191 --> 00:14:56,861 ♪ I got the light ♪ ♪ I got the light ♪ 351 00:14:56,861 --> 00:14:59,497 -The dance lives forever. -[FREEDOM CHUCKLES] 352 00:14:59,497 --> 00:15:01,532 FREEDOM: Dance lives forever! 353 00:15:01,532 --> 00:15:04,702 ♪ I got the light ♪ 354 00:15:04,702 --> 00:15:08,539 -♪ I got the light ♪ -♪ I got the light ♪ 355 00:15:08,539 --> 00:15:12,844 -♪ I got the light ♪ -♪ All of the way ♪ 356 00:15:12,844 --> 00:15:15,613 ♪ I got the light ♪ 357 00:15:16,114 --> 00:15:17,782 This is what I want to happen. I want the slut 358 00:15:17,782 --> 00:15:19,784 to have an orgasm, and when she has an orgasm 359 00:15:19,784 --> 00:15:21,185 I want the killer to come up behind her 360 00:15:21,185 --> 00:15:22,787 and just stab her in the ass, okay? 361 00:15:22,787 --> 00:15:24,822 I want there to be a lot of blood in this scene. 362 00:15:24,822 --> 00:15:26,324 Like, almost too much, where you're like... 363 00:15:26,324 --> 00:15:30,194 But--but a lot, but, like-- but, like, almost too much. 364 00:15:30,194 --> 00:15:32,130 I also want there to be very good dialogue, 365 00:15:32,130 --> 00:15:33,731 okay? And that's where you come in. 366 00:15:33,731 --> 00:15:35,967 So I want the character to say something cool, like, 367 00:15:35,967 --> 00:15:37,435 "Fuck you, bitch! Fuck you!" 368 00:15:37,435 --> 00:15:39,170 "Fuck you, bitch. Fuck you." Got it. 369 00:15:39,170 --> 00:15:41,639 Do whatever you want to do, but that. 370 00:15:42,774 --> 00:15:45,643 I'm sick of watching women get stabbed in movies. [SIGHS] 371 00:15:45,643 --> 00:15:49,814 I think it's a great idea, Peter. I love all your ideas. 372 00:15:51,182 --> 00:15:52,150 So much. 373 00:15:52,150 --> 00:15:54,619 Excuse me, but why does the woman who enjoys sex 374 00:15:54,619 --> 00:15:56,187 always have to die in horror films? 375 00:15:56,187 --> 00:15:58,790 Maybe she could fight back. 376 00:15:59,557 --> 00:16:02,527 We could work in some more nudity that way. 377 00:16:02,527 --> 00:16:03,661 What if the slut fights the killer 378 00:16:03,661 --> 00:16:06,764 and every orgasm she has makes her stronger. 379 00:16:06,764 --> 00:16:07,832 [CHUCKLES] That's funny. 380 00:16:07,832 --> 00:16:10,101 I think we should at least try it. 381 00:16:10,101 --> 00:16:12,003 Well, you know what, John? I would try that, 382 00:16:12,003 --> 00:16:13,004 but I-- I can't-- I actually-- 383 00:16:13,004 --> 00:16:14,939 I think that that's probably the worst fucking idea 384 00:16:14,939 --> 00:16:16,274 I've ever heard in my entire life, 385 00:16:16,274 --> 00:16:17,775 so I probably can't do that one. 386 00:16:17,775 --> 00:16:19,677 I like sluts. Why do they all have to die? 387 00:16:19,677 --> 00:16:22,113 I mean, nobody kills male sluts in movies. 388 00:16:22,113 --> 00:16:23,915 I like sluts, too. 389 00:16:23,915 --> 00:16:25,683 Who doesn't like sluts? 390 00:16:25,683 --> 00:16:26,818 Maybe one should live. 391 00:16:26,818 --> 00:16:28,920 Well... Linda, the thing is, you already approved 392 00:16:28,920 --> 00:16:30,888 -the draft that I wrote, so-- -Who are you? 393 00:16:30,888 --> 00:16:32,690 I'm a development person. 394 00:16:32,690 --> 00:16:35,827 Well, yeah, she was my old assistant until recently 395 00:16:35,827 --> 00:16:36,861 I promoted her into development 396 00:16:36,861 --> 00:16:39,497 before I realized what an angry feminist she is. 397 00:16:39,497 --> 00:16:42,900 She's also a writer. Actually, a really good writer. 398 00:16:42,900 --> 00:16:44,068 Well, we all write. 399 00:16:44,068 --> 00:16:44,936 I want to be a writer. 400 00:16:44,936 --> 00:16:47,205 I'm-- I'm the young assistant. 401 00:16:47,472 --> 00:16:48,606 -Peter's. -All right, 402 00:16:48,606 --> 00:16:50,174 well, you know, that's confusing, 403 00:16:50,174 --> 00:16:53,244 but I like this idea. I think we should explore it. 404 00:16:53,244 --> 00:16:56,581 -Yeah, Linda, but I think-- -Peter, I gave you final cut. 405 00:16:56,581 --> 00:17:01,152 No studio's gonna offer you that. The slut lives. 406 00:17:01,152 --> 00:17:02,020 Old assistant person, 407 00:17:02,020 --> 00:17:05,456 I would like you and John to work on the next draft. 408 00:17:05,456 --> 00:17:07,558 Get it to me when you're done. 409 00:17:08,693 --> 00:17:10,795 -[HONEY SIGHS] -PETER: Linda, if I could just-- 410 00:17:10,795 --> 00:17:13,331 LINDA: Yeah, I have an appointment in St. Barts 411 00:17:13,331 --> 00:17:15,099 later today. 412 00:17:16,100 --> 00:17:17,835 [PHONE RINGING] 413 00:17:17,902 --> 00:17:21,005 Excuse me, but what the hell was that? 414 00:17:21,005 --> 00:17:22,640 Well, when we started working together, 415 00:17:22,640 --> 00:17:24,542 you said you liked my ideas. 416 00:17:24,542 --> 00:17:25,676 It embarrasses me to think 417 00:17:25,676 --> 00:17:28,312 about the idiotic films that you want to make. 418 00:17:28,312 --> 00:17:29,280 Thought it was a good idea. 419 00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:31,816 Better than a guy stabbing a girl in the ass. 420 00:17:31,816 --> 00:17:32,517 Sex and violence 421 00:17:32,517 --> 00:17:35,119 is a proven formula that makes a profit. 422 00:17:35,119 --> 00:17:36,888 Well, what about... 423 00:17:36,888 --> 00:17:38,623 sex and happiness? 424 00:17:38,623 --> 00:17:40,425 You're embarrassing yourself! 425 00:17:40,425 --> 00:17:42,860 The-- What are you talking about? 426 00:17:43,294 --> 00:17:45,263 I want to break up. 427 00:17:46,497 --> 00:17:48,066 PETER: What? Really? 428 00:17:48,066 --> 00:17:50,935 You want to break up with-- with me? 429 00:17:51,002 --> 00:17:52,403 Do you have any idea 430 00:17:52,403 --> 00:17:55,373 how many girls want to sleep with me right now, 431 00:17:55,373 --> 00:17:57,141 huh? So many. 432 00:17:57,208 --> 00:17:58,476 I'm Peter Brock, okay? 433 00:17:58,476 --> 00:18:00,945 Well, why don't you go have sex with them? 434 00:18:01,412 --> 00:18:03,614 Yeah, maybe I-- maybe I will, okay? 435 00:18:03,614 --> 00:18:06,317 But, no, you know what? Actually... 436 00:18:06,317 --> 00:18:07,752 rewind. I break up with you. 437 00:18:07,752 --> 00:18:10,088 Before what you said, I break up with you 438 00:18:10,088 --> 00:18:11,889 before you said you break up with me. 439 00:18:11,889 --> 00:18:13,591 It was my idea. 440 00:18:14,358 --> 00:18:15,793 Great idea. 441 00:18:15,793 --> 00:18:17,795 I'm Peter Brock. Look at this. 442 00:18:17,795 --> 00:18:20,865 Look at all-- There's three posters here. 443 00:18:20,865 --> 00:18:21,532 More-- I-- 444 00:18:21,532 --> 00:18:24,469 There's some behind the door I didn't even hang up. 445 00:18:24,769 --> 00:18:27,472 You are my honey bunny. Come here. 446 00:18:28,005 --> 00:18:30,041 You are my honey bunny. 447 00:18:31,442 --> 00:18:32,877 Oh... 448 00:18:35,980 --> 00:18:37,615 Get me a coffee. 449 00:18:37,682 --> 00:18:39,817 [DOGS BARKING] 450 00:18:41,686 --> 00:18:44,255 [JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING] 451 00:18:44,255 --> 00:18:47,091 Yeah, but he sounds like a wanker. 452 00:18:47,091 --> 00:18:47,925 Why work for him? 453 00:18:47,925 --> 00:18:49,827 Well, it's hard to find work in the movie business. 454 00:18:49,827 --> 00:18:52,363 -It's a man's world. [SIGHS] -Yeah, 455 00:18:52,363 --> 00:18:54,799 well, yeah. Huh? 456 00:18:54,799 --> 00:18:56,167 Mm! 457 00:18:56,534 --> 00:18:58,603 Do you like eating with your hands? 458 00:18:58,603 --> 00:19:00,004 Um, I don't know. 459 00:19:00,004 --> 00:19:03,608 Mm. You know, you can just feel the food, you know? 460 00:19:03,608 --> 00:19:05,543 Sometimes I just want to eat like a dog. 461 00:19:05,543 --> 00:19:09,180 Yeah, I just want to put my face in there, yeah? 462 00:19:10,047 --> 00:19:11,482 Huh? 463 00:19:11,916 --> 00:19:14,285 [GROANS] Mm-mm! 464 00:19:14,785 --> 00:19:16,387 [CHUCKLES] 465 00:19:16,387 --> 00:19:17,121 Come on, try it. 466 00:19:17,121 --> 00:19:18,322 Oh, it's so good. Give it a go. 467 00:19:18,322 --> 00:19:20,124 -Come on. -Oh, no, it's okay. 468 00:19:20,124 --> 00:19:22,126 Come on. You've got to try this. 469 00:19:22,793 --> 00:19:24,295 Come on. 470 00:19:26,097 --> 00:19:28,399 -Mm. Yum. -Yeah? Right? 471 00:19:28,399 --> 00:19:29,934 -Delicious. [CHUCKLES] -Yeah. 472 00:19:29,934 --> 00:19:31,869 It's straight from the plate to your face. 473 00:19:31,869 --> 00:19:33,304 Wow, it's so much better this way. 474 00:19:33,304 --> 00:19:35,907 It is, absolutely. I'm gonna join you down here. 475 00:19:35,907 --> 00:19:38,209 Mm! Oh, it's so good! Mm! 476 00:19:38,209 --> 00:19:39,911 CANDY: [PANTING] I love you. 477 00:19:39,911 --> 00:19:41,245 MAN: I love you. 478 00:19:41,245 --> 00:19:43,447 [PANTING] 479 00:19:43,648 --> 00:19:45,316 You know I don't... 480 00:19:45,616 --> 00:19:46,951 want a relationship, right? 481 00:19:46,951 --> 00:19:48,286 You knew that, though, right? [CHUCKLES] 482 00:19:48,286 --> 00:19:49,987 -That's just... That's just... -[LAUGHS] Wait. 483 00:19:49,987 --> 00:19:53,124 Well, aren't we already actually having a relationship? 484 00:19:53,124 --> 00:19:54,725 -I mean... -I mean, if you wanna-- 485 00:19:54,725 --> 00:19:55,927 ...we've been dating for two years 486 00:19:55,927 --> 00:19:57,128 and you just told me you loved me. 487 00:19:57,128 --> 00:20:01,766 Oh, Yeah, well, you know, I-- Yeah, I love you, you know, I-- 488 00:20:01,766 --> 00:20:05,903 I love you as a sister, you know, as a friend, and... 489 00:20:05,903 --> 00:20:08,539 as-- as a sexual partner, uh... 490 00:20:08,539 --> 00:20:11,175 as-- as a fellow human being, you know? 491 00:20:11,175 --> 00:20:13,978 But I think we should just find a new and better way to-- 492 00:20:13,978 --> 00:20:15,746 to do relationships. 493 00:20:15,746 --> 00:20:18,482 -You know? -Yeah. [CHUCKLES] 494 00:20:18,482 --> 00:20:19,550 [CHUCKLES] 495 00:20:19,550 --> 00:20:21,252 -Right? -Okay. 496 00:20:21,252 --> 00:20:24,355 Oh. Shit. Babe, I got to-- I got to go, actually, 497 00:20:24,355 --> 00:20:28,392 'cause I have a... I just-- I just got a crazy week. 498 00:20:28,392 --> 00:20:29,727 Oh, can I also, uh-- 499 00:20:29,727 --> 00:20:34,498 Babe, can I-- can I leave that, uh, my laundry here and, uh... 500 00:20:34,565 --> 00:20:36,367 get it on Thursday? 501 00:20:36,434 --> 00:20:40,438 You want me to do your laundry while you date other women? 502 00:20:40,438 --> 00:20:43,074 That's... I mean, that would be really insensitive 503 00:20:43,074 --> 00:20:45,076 if we were in some old-fashioned, 504 00:20:45,076 --> 00:20:46,377 you know, closed-minded... 505 00:20:46,377 --> 00:20:48,312 relationship, but since we're not, you know, 506 00:20:48,312 --> 00:20:50,815 we're-- we're, uh, we're not confining ourselves 507 00:20:50,815 --> 00:20:52,750 to societal norms, then I think-- 508 00:20:52,750 --> 00:20:55,086 I think it's fine. Yeah. 509 00:20:55,086 --> 00:20:56,754 All right. 510 00:20:56,821 --> 00:20:57,955 Bye. 511 00:20:57,955 --> 00:21:01,125 [MUSIC PLAYING] 512 00:21:05,463 --> 00:21:08,599 Hey. Um, me again. Listen, 513 00:21:08,599 --> 00:21:09,433 I was just gonna say 514 00:21:09,433 --> 00:21:13,137 why don't you just ignore those previous voicemails, okay? 515 00:21:13,137 --> 00:21:13,938 Because... [SIGHS] 516 00:21:13,938 --> 00:21:16,841 here's-- here's the real truth, okay? 517 00:21:16,841 --> 00:21:18,509 Let's get honest. 518 00:21:18,609 --> 00:21:20,311 I am great. 519 00:21:20,311 --> 00:21:21,912 I'm great. I'm so great. 520 00:21:21,912 --> 00:21:26,617 And I'm super-happy for you and Chandra. 521 00:21:26,617 --> 00:21:27,885 And here's the thing, 522 00:21:27,885 --> 00:21:30,187 I'm so happy! I'm so happy and I'm great. 523 00:21:30,187 --> 00:21:33,224 Like, if great were people, I'd be, like, fucking-- 524 00:21:33,224 --> 00:21:34,759 Where is there a lot of people? India? 525 00:21:34,759 --> 00:21:40,164 Beijing? I'm fucking Beijing. That's how great I am. 526 00:21:40,564 --> 00:21:42,833 So I saved one of your messages that you left me, 527 00:21:42,833 --> 00:21:44,068 you know, right when you were, like, 528 00:21:44,068 --> 00:21:45,803 "Hey, by the way, I'm fucking a 19-year-old." 529 00:21:45,803 --> 00:21:48,372 It's such a great message. It's so amazing. 530 00:21:48,372 --> 00:21:51,575 I'm so glad you told me things on a voicemail. 531 00:21:51,575 --> 00:21:52,576 You are so brave. 532 00:21:52,576 --> 00:21:54,879 And by "brave," I mean, like, 533 00:21:54,879 --> 00:21:55,913 you're a fucking idiot. 534 00:21:55,913 --> 00:21:56,881 I just wanted you to know that. 535 00:21:56,881 --> 00:21:58,883 I saved it, and I play it for my friends. 536 00:21:58,883 --> 00:22:00,384 And we laugh and laugh. 537 00:22:00,384 --> 00:22:03,120 And then I tell them about your weird dick. 538 00:22:03,254 --> 00:22:05,756 And I'm fucking naked. 539 00:22:05,756 --> 00:22:06,624 And I have on-- [GROANS] 540 00:22:06,624 --> 00:22:09,226 I have on those... high-heel, like, 541 00:22:09,226 --> 00:22:11,295 fuck-me pumps that you love. 542 00:22:11,295 --> 00:22:13,331 Oh, yeah, I'm naked. 543 00:22:13,331 --> 00:22:14,598 Mm. You know what else? 544 00:22:14,598 --> 00:22:17,735 Remember that time you told me to squeeze your dick really hard 545 00:22:17,735 --> 00:22:19,170 at the base of it? 546 00:22:19,170 --> 00:22:21,305 I'm fucking doing that... 547 00:22:21,305 --> 00:22:24,475 and you don't-- Yeah, and it's awesome. 548 00:22:26,010 --> 00:22:28,479 So, baby, call me. 549 00:22:31,916 --> 00:22:35,353 'Cause I could suck your cock. [SOBBING] 550 00:22:35,353 --> 00:22:37,555 I really think you should come over, 551 00:22:37,555 --> 00:22:39,857 'cause I might do something bad to myself. 552 00:22:39,857 --> 00:22:43,427 Oh, my God, I might do something so bad, and then... 553 00:22:43,427 --> 00:22:44,595 I mean, I don't know what I would do, 554 00:22:44,595 --> 00:22:47,031 but it would be bad, and then you would feel guilty, 555 00:22:47,031 --> 00:22:49,333 like, for the rest of your life. 556 00:22:49,333 --> 00:22:50,534 So... 557 00:22:50,534 --> 00:22:54,572 I can't wait to hear from you. Okay. 558 00:22:54,739 --> 00:22:56,340 Bye! 559 00:22:56,941 --> 00:23:00,211 [MUSIC PLAYING] 560 00:23:04,749 --> 00:23:06,283 Wow. 561 00:23:06,350 --> 00:23:08,285 This is amazing. 562 00:23:11,155 --> 00:23:13,691 [MUSIC PLAYING] 563 00:23:18,996 --> 00:23:22,133 -Is this all your art? -Oh, yeah. 564 00:23:22,566 --> 00:23:23,801 See... 565 00:23:23,801 --> 00:23:27,304 our society is sick, yeah? 566 00:23:27,371 --> 00:23:30,408 [SIGHS] It's no wonder the Earth is dying, 567 00:23:30,408 --> 00:23:34,178 'cause the culture sends its message, yeah? 568 00:23:34,178 --> 00:23:36,080 Join the rat race. Make money. 569 00:23:36,080 --> 00:23:37,848 Be a winner, otherwise you're nothing. 570 00:23:37,848 --> 00:23:41,352 It's read Us Weekly. Drink the Kool-Aid. 571 00:23:41,352 --> 00:23:42,720 Fuck that shit. 572 00:23:42,720 --> 00:23:46,557 I'm my own man. I mean, sure, got to make money. 573 00:23:46,624 --> 00:23:48,759 But I don't let them own me 574 00:23:48,759 --> 00:23:51,295 by seeking their approval, yeah? 575 00:23:52,062 --> 00:23:54,465 I'm free. [GASPS] 576 00:23:54,865 --> 00:23:57,067 Why I chose the name Freedom. 577 00:23:57,168 --> 00:23:58,869 Okay. 578 00:24:00,704 --> 00:24:02,807 [BREATHING HEAVILY] 579 00:24:04,508 --> 00:24:07,278 I don't go to exercise classes, you know? 580 00:24:07,912 --> 00:24:09,547 I do my own thing. 581 00:24:09,547 --> 00:24:10,981 [PANTING] 582 00:24:10,981 --> 00:24:12,750 Why follow the man? 583 00:24:12,750 --> 00:24:14,785 I create my own moves 584 00:24:14,785 --> 00:24:18,422 I don't need someone to give them to me. [CHUCKLES] 585 00:24:18,422 --> 00:24:21,459 Well, yoga exercises are thousands of years old 586 00:24:21,459 --> 00:24:23,594 for a reason. They really work. 587 00:24:29,567 --> 00:24:32,603 Why don't you let the man out of you? 588 00:24:34,538 --> 00:24:36,841 Why don't you go your own way... 589 00:24:37,508 --> 00:24:40,344 instead of trying to please people? 590 00:24:43,781 --> 00:24:47,017 [MUSIC PLAYING] 591 00:24:57,761 --> 00:25:00,331 Are you gonna keep doing those moves? 592 00:25:00,998 --> 00:25:02,500 Oh, yeah. 593 00:25:16,213 --> 00:25:18,549 -DARREN: Eva? -[DOOR KNOCKING] 594 00:25:21,719 --> 00:25:23,087 Shit. 595 00:25:23,087 --> 00:25:24,755 Are you in there? 596 00:25:29,159 --> 00:25:30,661 Hi. 597 00:25:31,862 --> 00:25:32,696 Fuck-me pumps, huh? 598 00:25:32,696 --> 00:25:35,165 EVA: Uh, they're upstairs. You want me to get them? 599 00:25:35,165 --> 00:25:36,600 No. That's okay. 600 00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:38,369 I took them off 'cause they hurt my feet. 601 00:25:38,369 --> 00:25:40,905 -Mm-hmm. -You put on the sweats. 602 00:25:41,539 --> 00:25:43,874 I was worried, obviously. 603 00:25:43,874 --> 00:25:45,109 So many messages. 604 00:25:45,109 --> 00:25:46,043 You were worried about me? 605 00:25:46,043 --> 00:25:49,513 Well... 14 messages and some suicide threats. 606 00:25:49,513 --> 00:25:53,751 I never said suicide. I said, "Maybe something bad." 607 00:25:54,418 --> 00:25:58,255 And that you would die alone. You're not gonna die alone. 608 00:25:58,622 --> 00:26:00,024 But if you do... 609 00:26:00,024 --> 00:26:02,526 it's because of doing things like this. 610 00:26:03,294 --> 00:26:05,296 You look really nice. 611 00:26:05,296 --> 00:26:06,830 Thank you. I'm gonna go. 612 00:26:06,830 --> 00:26:09,099 It's Chandra's birthday. We're doing a thing. 613 00:26:09,099 --> 00:26:11,335 [GASPS] It's her birthday? 614 00:26:11,335 --> 00:26:13,437 Oh, wait, I have a question for you. 615 00:26:13,437 --> 00:26:16,040 -Mm-hmm. -Like, where was Chandra... 616 00:26:16,040 --> 00:26:18,776 when I was putting you through art school? 617 00:26:18,776 --> 00:26:20,144 Oh, my God! That's right! 618 00:26:20,144 --> 00:26:21,245 Here comes the flood. 619 00:26:21,245 --> 00:26:22,279 -Oh, my God! -Here it is. 620 00:26:22,279 --> 00:26:24,181 -She was in kindergarten. Yay! -We are doing this. 621 00:26:24,181 --> 00:26:26,650 Well, guess what, Eva, I could never keep up with you, 622 00:26:26,650 --> 00:26:28,519 'cause all you ever cared about was money. 623 00:26:28,519 --> 00:26:30,020 You're a fucking liar, 624 00:26:30,020 --> 00:26:31,689 because I don't care about money. 625 00:26:31,689 --> 00:26:34,592 I put you through art school. You're just like... What? 626 00:26:34,592 --> 00:26:36,493 What do you even do for a living? 627 00:26:36,493 --> 00:26:37,461 You drive a douchebag car. 628 00:26:37,461 --> 00:26:39,730 I wanted a much douchier car than that. 629 00:26:39,730 --> 00:26:41,131 That was the one we could afford. 630 00:26:41,131 --> 00:26:43,133 I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. 631 00:26:43,133 --> 00:26:45,035 I don't like you right now. 632 00:26:45,035 --> 00:26:46,470 I love you... 633 00:26:46,470 --> 00:26:49,106 somewhat. But right now... 634 00:26:49,373 --> 00:26:51,308 I don't think you would like you, either, 635 00:26:51,308 --> 00:26:53,277 'cause you're being horrible... 636 00:26:53,344 --> 00:26:54,878 and you look... 637 00:26:55,212 --> 00:26:55,879 horrible. 638 00:26:55,879 --> 00:26:59,416 [SOBBING] I just wanted to have a baby! 639 00:26:59,650 --> 00:27:01,251 Okay. Come here. 640 00:27:02,086 --> 00:27:04,254 Come here. Come here. 641 00:27:04,254 --> 00:27:05,389 -Hi. Hi. -Don't, don't, don't. 642 00:27:05,389 --> 00:27:07,858 No, don't make it a thing. Don't make it a thing. 643 00:27:07,858 --> 00:27:10,260 Oh, my God, you smell so weird. 644 00:27:10,327 --> 00:27:11,862 -You smell so good. -No, just don't. 645 00:27:11,862 --> 00:27:15,332 Don't humiliate yourself anymore than you have, okay? 646 00:27:15,332 --> 00:27:16,200 You smell like... 647 00:27:16,200 --> 00:27:18,836 -I don't know, like, lavender-- -Okay. Just stop. Just stop. 648 00:27:18,836 --> 00:27:20,137 Don't embarrass yourself... 649 00:27:20,137 --> 00:27:22,806 -anymore. -You don't embarrass yourself, 650 00:27:22,806 --> 00:27:24,508 buddy. You settle down. 651 00:27:24,508 --> 00:27:26,844 -What's happening down there? -Don't. Don't. 652 00:27:26,844 --> 00:27:28,979 -We're not. -[SIGHS] Okay. 653 00:27:30,147 --> 00:27:32,883 Brew up some coffee. Don't. Please. 654 00:27:32,883 --> 00:27:36,120 I care very deeply about you without loving you. 655 00:27:36,120 --> 00:27:39,089 Throw up, go to sleep, take a shower. 656 00:27:39,089 --> 00:27:40,791 I already threw up. 657 00:27:42,526 --> 00:27:44,662 [SOBBING] I love you so much. 658 00:27:44,662 --> 00:27:47,131 Bye. Thank you for coming! 659 00:27:47,131 --> 00:27:50,200 [HONEY MOANING] 660 00:27:54,405 --> 00:27:57,541 The only reason a man and a woman 661 00:27:57,541 --> 00:28:00,310 should have carnal knowledge of each other... 662 00:28:00,310 --> 00:28:01,979 is to create a child. 663 00:28:01,979 --> 00:28:03,514 [HONEY MOANING] 664 00:28:03,514 --> 00:28:05,315 Any other physical union 665 00:28:05,315 --> 00:28:09,019 between a man and a woman... 666 00:28:09,086 --> 00:28:10,954 is a sin. 667 00:28:11,088 --> 00:28:14,091 [MOANING] 668 00:28:14,091 --> 00:28:16,160 And sins are punishable 669 00:28:16,160 --> 00:28:18,862 by hellfire and damnation. 670 00:28:18,862 --> 00:28:19,730 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 671 00:28:19,730 --> 00:28:23,200 -You will go to hell! -HONEY: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 672 00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:25,836 I'm sorry. [MOANING] 673 00:28:26,737 --> 00:28:28,272 You all right? 674 00:28:29,673 --> 00:28:32,910 -Did I just say that out loud? -Yeah. 675 00:28:34,812 --> 00:28:35,512 It felt so good. 676 00:28:35,512 --> 00:28:38,348 It felt like I was doing something wrong. 677 00:28:38,415 --> 00:28:39,917 I'm fucked up. 678 00:28:39,917 --> 00:28:41,952 I don't think you're fucked up. 679 00:28:41,952 --> 00:28:44,455 -You don't? -No. 680 00:28:45,022 --> 00:28:47,091 I think you're divine. 681 00:28:48,325 --> 00:28:50,260 Divinity itself... 682 00:28:50,394 --> 00:28:52,329 in a physical form. 683 00:28:52,730 --> 00:28:55,032 -Really? -Yeah. 684 00:28:55,032 --> 00:28:57,768 [MUSIC PLAYING] 685 00:29:10,447 --> 00:29:13,350 I thought I knew what sex and orgasms were before, 686 00:29:13,350 --> 00:29:14,118 but I did not. 687 00:29:14,118 --> 00:29:16,553 I feel like I understand the meaning of life now, 688 00:29:16,553 --> 00:29:18,288 and the meaning of life is to have as much sex 689 00:29:18,288 --> 00:29:22,226 as possible with this guy over and over again. 690 00:29:22,226 --> 00:29:24,061 Oh! Great sex! 691 00:29:24,061 --> 00:29:25,596 Oh, it makes you do stupid things. 692 00:29:25,596 --> 00:29:27,798 I feel like I tried to please the guy so much before 693 00:29:27,798 --> 00:29:30,801 that I never, like, really got off. 694 00:29:31,301 --> 00:29:32,870 Darren would just... [SIGHS] 695 00:29:32,870 --> 00:29:35,939 jam it in there without a lot of warm-up. 696 00:29:35,939 --> 00:29:37,508 And that was on the rare occasions 697 00:29:37,508 --> 00:29:39,910 that he could get it up. [SIGHS] 698 00:29:40,177 --> 00:29:40,878 This is your ex? 699 00:29:40,878 --> 00:29:42,412 You know what? People say they want to hear the truth, 700 00:29:42,412 --> 00:29:45,582 but they don't. They just want to be, like, "Oh, poor Eva. 701 00:29:45,582 --> 00:29:47,985 Did you hear Eva's husband cheated on her?" 702 00:29:47,985 --> 00:29:51,288 Here's the truth, I supported him financially 703 00:29:51,288 --> 00:29:52,289 for 14 years. 704 00:29:52,289 --> 00:29:54,658 That emasculated him. Oh, poor guy. 705 00:29:54,658 --> 00:29:57,127 So then he got erectile dysfunction. "Oh, wah" 706 00:29:57,127 --> 00:29:59,296 So then he had to go fuck a 21-year-old, 707 00:29:59,296 --> 00:30:02,065 so he could feel like a man again! 708 00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:05,536 He's not worthy of you, 'cause you're great. 709 00:30:05,536 --> 00:30:07,070 Yeah. 710 00:30:07,404 --> 00:30:08,572 Thank you. 711 00:30:08,572 --> 00:30:10,073 I feel like I have to do everything 712 00:30:10,073 --> 00:30:11,708 the guy says or he'll leave me. 713 00:30:11,708 --> 00:30:14,411 Like, I've been dating this guy for two years, 714 00:30:14,411 --> 00:30:16,880 pretending the entire time like I don't know 715 00:30:16,880 --> 00:30:17,714 he's dating other girls. 716 00:30:17,714 --> 00:30:19,917 You need to ask him for what you want. Just say, 717 00:30:19,917 --> 00:30:21,084 "I only want you to see me." 718 00:30:21,084 --> 00:30:23,387 Or date other men and flaunt them in front of him. 719 00:30:23,387 --> 00:30:24,688 Yeah, but I only want him. 720 00:30:24,688 --> 00:30:25,789 God, why are we sitting around 721 00:30:25,789 --> 00:30:27,457 talking about how sad our lives are? 722 00:30:27,457 --> 00:30:28,559 Why do women do that? 723 00:30:28,559 --> 00:30:30,828 You know, you're right. We should be talking about 724 00:30:30,828 --> 00:30:31,662 how great we are, 725 00:30:31,662 --> 00:30:34,164 and if someone gives us a compliment, we should say, 726 00:30:34,164 --> 00:30:37,434 -"Thank you. It's true." -[LAUGHING] 727 00:30:37,434 --> 00:30:39,002 You start. 728 00:30:39,002 --> 00:30:39,603 What? 729 00:30:39,603 --> 00:30:41,505 -And give myself a compliment? -HONEY: Yeah. 730 00:30:41,505 --> 00:30:43,173 Yeah, just do it. 731 00:30:43,807 --> 00:30:45,776 Okay. Um... 732 00:30:45,776 --> 00:30:48,011 I think I'm more attractive than I thought 733 00:30:48,011 --> 00:30:50,214 'cause-- All right, well, there's this guy 734 00:30:50,214 --> 00:30:51,715 at the coffee cart on the beach. 735 00:30:51,715 --> 00:30:53,050 He asks me out all the time. 736 00:30:53,050 --> 00:30:55,986 He's super-attractive, and he's 28 737 00:30:55,986 --> 00:30:58,188 [SCREAMS] You should go for it. 738 00:30:58,188 --> 00:30:59,723 -No. -Yeah! 739 00:30:59,723 --> 00:31:03,861 Really? Move over. There's a new skank in town. 740 00:31:03,861 --> 00:31:05,295 [LAUGHING] 741 00:31:05,295 --> 00:31:06,330 I think I'm gonna tell my man 742 00:31:06,330 --> 00:31:08,665 that I'm not gonna do his laundry. 743 00:31:08,999 --> 00:31:09,800 So there! 744 00:31:09,800 --> 00:31:12,269 'Cause I am super hot, and he should feel lucky 745 00:31:12,269 --> 00:31:14,371 to tap that ass. So he better behave. 746 00:31:14,371 --> 00:31:15,973 Yeah. He should do your laundry. 747 00:31:15,973 --> 00:31:18,909 Yeah, you are so hot. Like, really hot. 748 00:31:18,909 --> 00:31:20,878 Thank you. It's true. 749 00:31:22,246 --> 00:31:23,647 Okay, your turn. 750 00:31:23,714 --> 00:31:25,182 Okay. [SIGHS] 751 00:31:25,182 --> 00:31:26,483 I'm not a dirty slut. 752 00:31:26,483 --> 00:31:30,120 Having sex with me is a religious experience. 753 00:31:30,120 --> 00:31:31,455 Yeah, it is. 754 00:31:31,455 --> 00:31:35,459 -I want a new candle. -Oh, I brought the love candle. 755 00:31:38,395 --> 00:31:39,229 Honey. 756 00:31:39,229 --> 00:31:40,697 -Thank you. -Eva. 757 00:31:40,697 --> 00:31:42,266 So sweet. 758 00:31:42,266 --> 00:31:43,533 You know, we talk about pleasing men, 759 00:31:43,533 --> 00:31:46,370 but what about pleasing us? You know what we should say? 760 00:31:46,370 --> 00:31:48,405 "Get down there and lick it. 761 00:31:48,605 --> 00:31:49,606 Lick it." 762 00:31:49,606 --> 00:31:51,041 -[LAUGHING] -Lick it. 763 00:31:51,041 --> 00:31:54,378 Darren never licked it. I think I'm due. 764 00:31:54,478 --> 00:31:55,746 Lick it! 765 00:31:55,746 --> 00:31:57,314 I like it. 766 00:31:57,314 --> 00:31:58,715 Lick it. 767 00:31:59,016 --> 00:32:03,086 [MUSIC PLAYING] 768 00:32:05,789 --> 00:32:07,357 ♪ Sha-ba-lum ah-ooh ♪ 769 00:32:07,357 --> 00:32:09,393 I want to see Freedom again. 770 00:32:09,393 --> 00:32:12,596 I want love and hot sex. 771 00:32:13,230 --> 00:32:22,973 ♪ Sha-ba-lum ah-ooh ♪ 772 00:32:22,973 --> 00:32:23,807 [PHONE BEEPS] 773 00:32:23,807 --> 00:32:25,709 ♪ Sha-ba-lum ah-ooh ♪ 774 00:32:25,709 --> 00:32:28,278 [FOREIGN MUSIC PLAYING] 775 00:32:49,499 --> 00:32:51,735 I hope you don't think I'm easy. 776 00:32:51,735 --> 00:32:53,170 Why would I think you're easy? 777 00:32:53,170 --> 00:32:55,706 'Cause we had sex on the first date. 778 00:32:56,306 --> 00:32:57,941 I think it's weird not to have sex 779 00:32:57,941 --> 00:32:59,609 on the first date. 780 00:32:59,977 --> 00:33:00,911 Really? 781 00:33:00,911 --> 00:33:04,414 Hey, do you want to go back to my place and get stoned? 782 00:33:04,414 --> 00:33:05,282 -Uh-huh. -Yeah? 783 00:33:05,282 --> 00:33:10,620 ♪ Sha-ba-lum ah-ooh ♪ 784 00:33:11,955 --> 00:33:13,523 One second. 785 00:33:23,066 --> 00:33:26,103 -Want a hit? -I don't really smoke. 786 00:33:26,103 --> 00:33:28,705 -Oh, come on. Just one. -Okay. 787 00:33:28,705 --> 00:33:30,340 [LAUGHING] 788 00:33:33,176 --> 00:33:35,712 -Yeah. -[COUGHING] 789 00:33:36,580 --> 00:33:38,148 You all right? 790 00:33:38,148 --> 00:33:38,949 [COUGHING] Yeah. 791 00:33:38,949 --> 00:33:41,385 -You okay? -Mm-hm. Mm-hm. 792 00:33:44,488 --> 00:33:45,989 When we were together... 793 00:33:45,989 --> 00:33:48,859 could you feel that energy going back... 794 00:33:48,859 --> 00:33:50,894 and forth between our souls? 795 00:33:50,894 --> 00:33:53,430 -It felt amazing. -Yeah. Yeah. 796 00:33:53,430 --> 00:33:56,233 I don't think we even need to talk, yeah? 797 00:33:56,233 --> 00:33:57,300 Can't you just... 798 00:33:57,300 --> 00:34:00,370 -feel what I'm thinking? -Uh... 799 00:34:02,906 --> 00:34:04,574 I don't think so. 800 00:34:04,641 --> 00:34:06,643 I bet you can, yeah? 801 00:34:10,614 --> 00:34:12,416 Can you feel it now? 802 00:34:13,417 --> 00:34:17,020 -Couldn't you just tell me? -No, no, no. 803 00:34:23,493 --> 00:34:25,095 What about now? 804 00:34:29,433 --> 00:34:30,634 Now? 805 00:34:30,634 --> 00:34:33,570 I'm the most wonderful person you've ever met? 806 00:34:35,505 --> 00:34:37,240 [SIGHING] 807 00:34:38,141 --> 00:34:40,877 -[FREEDOM GROANING] -[HONEY MOANING] 808 00:34:42,579 --> 00:34:44,247 [HONEY MOANING] 809 00:34:53,356 --> 00:34:55,392 [MUSIC PLAYING] 810 00:35:01,131 --> 00:35:09,272 ♪ All I could ever need Is you and I ♪ 811 00:35:19,015 --> 00:35:22,986 ♪ And all I could ever want ♪ 812 00:35:22,986 --> 00:35:26,456 ♪ All I could ever see ♪ 813 00:35:26,456 --> 00:35:29,759 ♪ All I could ever want ♪ 814 00:35:29,759 --> 00:35:36,633 ♪ All I could ever need Is you... ♪ 815 00:35:39,870 --> 00:35:43,206 ♪ Oh I choose ♪ 816 00:35:47,644 --> 00:35:51,248 ♪ And all I could ever want ♪ 817 00:35:51,248 --> 00:35:57,854 ♪ All I could ever need Is you... ♪ 818 00:35:58,121 --> 00:36:00,991 WOMAN: You have never done anything wrong. 819 00:36:01,091 --> 00:36:04,628 Sex is sacred and beautiful. 820 00:36:05,595 --> 00:36:11,234 ♪ All I could ever need Is you... ♪ 821 00:36:11,234 --> 00:36:15,438 What if all the sluts had mind-blowing orgasms? 822 00:36:15,438 --> 00:36:18,875 Only when they're empowered by their orgasms 823 00:36:18,875 --> 00:36:21,278 can they defeat the evil mutant. 824 00:36:22,312 --> 00:36:25,882 Empowered sluts. I like that. That's-- that's provocative. 825 00:36:25,882 --> 00:36:28,985 You think we can get that past the ratings board? 826 00:36:29,686 --> 00:36:31,388 Hey, guys, uh, 827 00:36:31,388 --> 00:36:33,423 sorry, I just downloaded this new app. 828 00:36:33,423 --> 00:36:35,659 It detects shitty movie ideas, 829 00:36:35,659 --> 00:36:38,495 and it literally led me right here. 830 00:36:38,862 --> 00:36:39,896 Anyway... 831 00:36:39,896 --> 00:36:42,265 let me know if you have any real movie ideas 832 00:36:42,265 --> 00:36:45,569 that we can turn into actual movies. 833 00:36:45,802 --> 00:36:48,038 Okay. Bye. 834 00:36:52,509 --> 00:36:54,077 Encouraging. 835 00:36:54,077 --> 00:36:55,412 Love that guy. 836 00:36:55,412 --> 00:36:57,514 Oh, I wanted to say, um, 837 00:36:57,514 --> 00:36:58,648 I-- I read your script, 838 00:36:58,648 --> 00:37:02,085 uh, about the Afghan woman who fights for the right 839 00:37:02,085 --> 00:37:04,521 to divorce her husband. That was strong. 840 00:37:04,521 --> 00:37:05,755 How did you get a copy of that? 841 00:37:05,755 --> 00:37:08,658 I got connects. You know what I'm saying? 842 00:37:08,658 --> 00:37:09,893 -Whoa. -Actually, 843 00:37:09,893 --> 00:37:12,162 Peter wanted me to, uh, write coverage. 844 00:37:12,162 --> 00:37:14,130 Oh, I thought he read that one. 845 00:37:14,130 --> 00:37:15,665 Well, I don't know. He's a busy guy. 846 00:37:15,665 --> 00:37:19,069 But I really love the scene where Afshan says, um, 847 00:37:19,069 --> 00:37:23,173 "This is my woman part to do with what I want." 848 00:37:23,173 --> 00:37:26,409 -[SIGHS] -That was pretty intense. 849 00:37:26,843 --> 00:37:29,946 -You really liked it? -Yeah, it was powerful. 850 00:37:34,117 --> 00:37:35,619 [PHONE BEEPS] 851 00:37:35,619 --> 00:37:37,287 [CHUCKLING] 852 00:37:47,230 --> 00:37:49,266 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 853 00:38:00,010 --> 00:38:02,279 I want love. 854 00:38:05,849 --> 00:38:08,351 [MUSIC PLAYING] 855 00:38:10,220 --> 00:38:11,554 And so mote it be. 856 00:38:11,554 --> 00:38:13,323 ♪ Ah-ooh ♪ 857 00:38:14,057 --> 00:38:15,825 ♪ Ah-ooh ♪ 858 00:38:16,860 --> 00:38:18,261 Oh, thank you, honey. 859 00:38:18,261 --> 00:38:21,631 Hi, um, I'll just take a regular coffee, please. Um, 860 00:38:21,631 --> 00:38:25,201 I'm just looking for this guy. I think he works here. 861 00:38:25,201 --> 00:38:27,671 I don't know his name, but he's 28. 862 00:38:27,671 --> 00:38:30,740 I know, 28. I know. I know. I know what you're thinking. 863 00:38:30,740 --> 00:38:32,275 Do you know who I'm talking about? 864 00:38:32,275 --> 00:38:33,710 -MAN: No. -No? 865 00:38:33,710 --> 00:38:34,678 Eva? 866 00:38:34,678 --> 00:38:36,279 -Mark! -MARK: Hi! 867 00:38:36,279 --> 00:38:37,681 Oh, my God. 868 00:38:37,681 --> 00:38:40,116 Oh, it's been so long. How are you? 869 00:38:40,116 --> 00:38:42,786 Good. I'm okay. Yeah. 870 00:38:42,786 --> 00:38:43,853 How's Darren? 871 00:38:43,853 --> 00:38:46,923 We got a divorce. He didn't tell you? 872 00:38:46,923 --> 00:38:49,626 Uh, yeah, I... I heard. 873 00:38:49,993 --> 00:38:51,961 -Sorry. -Yeah. 874 00:38:51,961 --> 00:38:54,798 Uh, Rebecca and I got divorced, too. 875 00:38:55,098 --> 00:38:56,399 I'm so sorry. 876 00:38:56,399 --> 00:38:58,968 No, actually, it's for the best. 877 00:38:59,035 --> 00:39:00,837 Plus we have two beautiful daughters, 878 00:39:00,837 --> 00:39:03,573 five and ten, so no regrets. 879 00:39:04,274 --> 00:39:06,009 [MUSIC PLAYING] 880 00:39:06,009 --> 00:39:07,544 -Don't you want to get a coffee? -Uh, 881 00:39:07,544 --> 00:39:10,213 yeah, yeah. That's what I'm here for. 882 00:39:10,213 --> 00:39:11,114 [CHUCKLES 883 00:39:11,114 --> 00:39:14,217 -What are you doing right now? -Uh... 884 00:39:14,684 --> 00:39:15,452 nothing. 885 00:39:15,452 --> 00:39:18,221 You want to go for a walk, catch up a little? 886 00:39:18,221 --> 00:39:20,457 Yeah, I'd really like that. 887 00:39:20,890 --> 00:39:22,659 I was making dresses in my kitchen, 888 00:39:22,659 --> 00:39:25,595 and then just, boom! You know? 889 00:39:25,595 --> 00:39:27,230 That's amazing. 890 00:39:29,232 --> 00:39:31,501 I'm sorry to hear about your divorce. Uh... 891 00:39:31,501 --> 00:39:35,171 -I feel like such a failure. -Oh, don't say that. 892 00:39:35,171 --> 00:39:36,840 I just wish we would've had kids, 893 00:39:36,840 --> 00:39:39,109 you know, like you guys, but we were 894 00:39:39,109 --> 00:39:40,810 never on the same page with that. 895 00:39:40,810 --> 00:39:43,880 Eva, you are in no way a failure. 896 00:39:43,880 --> 00:39:48,084 You're a huge, huge success in every way. 897 00:39:50,787 --> 00:39:52,422 Wow. 898 00:39:54,524 --> 00:39:56,092 Stunning. 899 00:39:56,359 --> 00:39:58,962 Thank you. It's true. 900 00:40:00,196 --> 00:40:03,099 "Thank you. It's true." I like that. 901 00:40:04,934 --> 00:40:07,203 Did you know I left the law firm? 902 00:40:07,203 --> 00:40:08,204 No. 903 00:40:08,204 --> 00:40:10,206 Yeah, you know, grew the hair out, 904 00:40:10,206 --> 00:40:11,975 stopped shaving... 905 00:40:12,275 --> 00:40:13,910 opened a restaurant. 906 00:40:13,910 --> 00:40:15,345 No way! 907 00:40:15,345 --> 00:40:17,347 Yeah. You always told me I should. 908 00:40:17,347 --> 00:40:18,915 Remember that night I made the panna cotta 909 00:40:18,915 --> 00:40:20,817 -with the aged balsamico? -Yes. 910 00:40:20,817 --> 00:40:23,820 I had, like, a food orgasm over that dessert. 911 00:40:23,820 --> 00:40:25,555 [CHUCKLES] Yes, you did. 912 00:40:26,556 --> 00:40:28,191 [CHUCKLING] 913 00:40:28,391 --> 00:40:30,193 Congratulations. 914 00:40:30,493 --> 00:40:31,895 You're amazing. 915 00:40:31,895 --> 00:40:33,430 Thank you. 916 00:40:33,596 --> 00:40:35,131 It's true. 917 00:40:35,799 --> 00:40:37,200 [SCOFFS] 918 00:40:37,200 --> 00:40:40,203 I feel a little lost in my life. 919 00:40:40,970 --> 00:40:42,872 -You know? -Okay. 920 00:40:42,872 --> 00:40:44,240 I don't know, like, 921 00:40:44,240 --> 00:40:45,175 why am I a success? 922 00:40:45,175 --> 00:40:47,977 I mean, is it because I make dresses? 923 00:40:49,179 --> 00:40:50,013 Um... 924 00:40:50,013 --> 00:40:52,482 yeah, I suppose everybody would say that, 925 00:40:52,482 --> 00:40:54,984 but, uh, personally? 926 00:40:57,253 --> 00:41:00,123 You're just good to be around. 927 00:41:00,623 --> 00:41:03,793 I'm always happy when I'm near you. 928 00:41:04,594 --> 00:41:07,597 That is crazy-sweet. 929 00:41:08,631 --> 00:41:11,167 And you are crazy-beautiful. 930 00:41:11,568 --> 00:41:13,236 [CHUCKLES] Oh, wait. 931 00:41:13,236 --> 00:41:15,705 Oh, my God! What-- what? 932 00:41:19,843 --> 00:41:22,579 I've had a crush on you for 14 years. 933 00:41:22,579 --> 00:41:25,582 Really? Why? [CHUCKLES] 934 00:41:25,849 --> 00:41:28,084 Wait, wait, wait. 935 00:41:28,084 --> 00:41:28,785 What-- what, uh, 936 00:41:28,785 --> 00:41:30,987 what are we do-- what are we doing? Because I-- 937 00:41:30,987 --> 00:41:32,355 I haven't been with anyone 938 00:41:32,355 --> 00:41:33,690 -since my husband-- -Shh. 939 00:41:33,690 --> 00:41:37,026 Um-- I would like to keep my clothes on. 940 00:41:37,360 --> 00:41:38,928 If you just-- 941 00:41:38,928 --> 00:41:40,763 Uh... God, you're-- 942 00:41:40,763 --> 00:41:42,165 Um-- Oh, my God! Wait! 943 00:41:42,165 --> 00:41:45,635 Wait a second! That's-- Oh, my God! [CHUCKLES] 944 00:41:45,635 --> 00:41:48,404 Oh, my God! You're so good at this! 945 00:41:48,404 --> 00:41:50,039 I've wanted to do this since I met you. 946 00:41:50,039 --> 00:41:52,375 That's what you were thinking the whole time... 947 00:41:52,375 --> 00:41:55,144 when we met at Walmart? Are you kidding me? 948 00:41:55,144 --> 00:41:56,613 -Mm. -That's kind of weird. 949 00:41:56,613 --> 00:41:59,782 Thank you for telling me, 'cause I was, like, thinking, 950 00:41:59,782 --> 00:42:01,985 "Oh, nice guy at Walmart. 951 00:42:01,985 --> 00:42:05,021 He-- he buys, like, stuff in bulk. I get it." 952 00:42:05,021 --> 00:42:08,324 Oh. Uh... Oh, my God. Oh, God. 953 00:42:08,324 --> 00:42:10,393 Oh, God. And I then was, like, 954 00:42:10,393 --> 00:42:11,628 "Hey, you drive a Prius. 955 00:42:11,628 --> 00:42:14,330 And that's cool. You know, cool person." 956 00:42:14,330 --> 00:42:15,131 Hey, what-- what-- 957 00:42:15,131 --> 00:42:18,434 Just slow down on that bottom part. Oh, my God. 958 00:42:18,434 --> 00:42:19,669 Shut up. I'm gonna stop talking now. 959 00:42:19,669 --> 00:42:24,007 I'm not gonna talk anymore. I'm not gonna talk anymore. 960 00:42:24,541 --> 00:42:26,242 [MOANING] 961 00:42:26,242 --> 00:42:27,877 You're, like, really good at this. 962 00:42:27,877 --> 00:42:30,046 Oh, God. Wait, I didn't groom. I didn't groom! 963 00:42:30,046 --> 00:42:32,181 Ah! Okay, okay, no, actually, I'm okay with that. 964 00:42:32,181 --> 00:42:35,351 I'm okay with it. Never mind. Don't listen to me. Don't stop. 965 00:42:35,351 --> 00:42:37,720 Don't stop. [GIGGLING] 966 00:42:37,720 --> 00:42:40,490 [MOANING] 967 00:42:41,090 --> 00:42:43,226 [MUSIC PLAYING] 968 00:42:43,993 --> 00:42:45,728 I want love. 969 00:42:49,499 --> 00:42:52,936 [MUSIC PLAYING] 970 00:42:54,637 --> 00:42:55,772 Babe? 971 00:42:55,772 --> 00:42:58,474 Do you have, uh, that bag? I'm doing that lecture 972 00:42:58,474 --> 00:43:01,277 on techno-social wormholes downtown, and they're, uh-- 973 00:43:01,277 --> 00:43:03,479 they're gonna put it on YouTube. 974 00:43:03,479 --> 00:43:05,248 Isn't that great? 975 00:43:06,583 --> 00:43:09,118 I didn't have time to do your laundry. 976 00:43:09,185 --> 00:43:10,653 And... 977 00:43:12,155 --> 00:43:15,658 if you want to be with me, you can't date anybody else. 978 00:43:16,392 --> 00:43:18,361 Have you noticed that I'm great? 979 00:43:18,361 --> 00:43:19,729 'Cause you don't treat me that way. 980 00:43:19,729 --> 00:43:22,498 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Where's all this coming from? 981 00:43:22,498 --> 00:43:23,533 It's coming from me. 982 00:43:23,533 --> 00:43:27,203 But you were fine with everything a few days ago. 983 00:43:27,537 --> 00:43:29,005 I take care of you. 984 00:43:29,005 --> 00:43:30,540 When are you gonna take care of me? 985 00:43:30,540 --> 00:43:33,543 Relationships are hard for me. My parents got divorced. 986 00:43:33,543 --> 00:43:34,477 Oh, God! Stop it! 987 00:43:34,477 --> 00:43:37,814 Stop using that as an excuse for everything! 988 00:43:37,814 --> 00:43:40,950 My family was fucked up, too! Let it go! 989 00:43:41,150 --> 00:43:44,921 I don't really like your tone of voice right now, honestly. 990 00:43:44,921 --> 00:43:46,856 You need to figure that out. 991 00:43:46,856 --> 00:43:50,627 Uh, well, those don't look very clean to me. 992 00:43:51,327 --> 00:43:52,762 No. 993 00:43:53,062 --> 00:43:55,031 They're very dirty. 994 00:43:55,264 --> 00:43:57,266 -What? -Yeah. 995 00:43:57,734 --> 00:43:58,768 Extremely dirty. 996 00:43:58,768 --> 00:44:01,204 -And smelly! -Babe, seriously? 997 00:44:01,204 --> 00:44:02,271 [GRUNTS] You know, you're gonna-- 998 00:44:02,271 --> 00:44:03,706 you're gonna regret this tomorrow. 999 00:44:03,706 --> 00:44:06,476 And-- and when you do, you can call me, okay? 1000 00:44:06,476 --> 00:44:11,147 When you are ready to treat me like the amazing person I am, 1001 00:44:11,147 --> 00:44:14,317 you call me! I won't be calling you. 1002 00:44:15,284 --> 00:44:16,786 Take that! 1003 00:44:16,786 --> 00:44:19,188 I was gonna wear this. I was gonna wear this. 1004 00:44:19,188 --> 00:44:22,558 Now it's even more dirty. It's more dirty now. 1005 00:44:22,558 --> 00:44:24,193 Pussy! 1006 00:44:25,561 --> 00:44:27,530 [MUSIC PLAYING] 1007 00:44:27,530 --> 00:44:30,967 And, uh, where am I gonna clean these? 1008 00:44:31,567 --> 00:44:33,269 Do you have a place? 1009 00:44:33,569 --> 00:44:37,006 Okay, you know what? Thank you. Thank you. That's great. 1010 00:44:37,006 --> 00:44:38,508 Okay, we'll-- we'll talk. 1011 00:44:38,508 --> 00:44:40,610 The guy shows her the beauty of her own soul 1012 00:44:40,610 --> 00:44:44,313 through sexuality, and then she defeats the killer. 1013 00:44:44,313 --> 00:44:45,615 -[SIGHS] -Hmm. Well, I'm not sure 1014 00:44:45,615 --> 00:44:47,283 how to fit that into a teenage slasher film, 1015 00:44:47,283 --> 00:44:50,853 but I like the challenge. I'm gonna get cracking on it. 1016 00:44:51,054 --> 00:44:53,256 PETER: Don't shoot the dinosaur. He's on your side. 1017 00:44:53,256 --> 00:44:54,090 What are you guys doing? 1018 00:44:54,090 --> 00:44:55,892 We're working on a video game based on the film. 1019 00:44:55,892 --> 00:44:58,861 Yeah, it's really gonna boost our profits on this one. 1020 00:44:58,861 --> 00:45:01,764 Peter came up with it all by himself. 1021 00:45:01,764 --> 00:45:04,133 The goal of the game is to build up your empire... 1022 00:45:04,133 --> 00:45:06,035 -This is my idea. -...and kill as many sluts 1023 00:45:06,035 --> 00:45:07,570 and douchebags that get in your way. 1024 00:45:07,570 --> 00:45:08,371 That's is my idea. 1025 00:45:08,371 --> 00:45:09,539 Once you reach the higher levels, 1026 00:45:09,539 --> 00:45:10,807 -you'll meet a virgin... -This is my idea. 1027 00:45:10,807 --> 00:45:12,442 -...with special powers. -My idea. My idea. 1028 00:45:12,442 --> 00:45:14,043 Every time you see a slut, 1029 00:45:14,043 --> 00:45:15,445 -you can kill her... -That's my idea. 1030 00:45:15,445 --> 00:45:16,579 -...and get the points. -My idea. 1031 00:45:16,579 --> 00:45:19,082 Sometimes I like to shoot her in the boobs or crotch area. 1032 00:45:19,082 --> 00:45:21,050 -[LAUGHING] -The last one was his idea. 1033 00:45:21,050 --> 00:45:26,189 -[SCREAMS] -Boom! That slut went down! 1034 00:45:27,323 --> 00:45:29,325 -So what do you think? -[MAN LAUGHING IN GAME] 1035 00:45:29,325 --> 00:45:30,460 I think it's really disturbing 1036 00:45:30,460 --> 00:45:32,929 and it makes me want to, like, vomit in my mouth. 1037 00:45:32,929 --> 00:45:34,997 Hey, man, I need you to go through the video game 1038 00:45:34,997 --> 00:45:36,232 and make sure that all of the girls, 1039 00:45:36,232 --> 00:45:37,967 under their shirts, you can see their erect nipples. 1040 00:45:37,967 --> 00:45:40,670 -I need you to do that for me. -Great idea! 1041 00:45:40,670 --> 00:45:41,337 So smart. 1042 00:45:41,337 --> 00:45:43,339 Look, The script that John and I are writing 1043 00:45:43,339 --> 00:45:44,540 is a totally different story. 1044 00:45:44,540 --> 00:45:46,275 Yeah, I know, and thank God it's a different story, 1045 00:45:46,275 --> 00:45:49,679 because your script sucked shit, and this video game 1046 00:45:49,679 --> 00:45:50,646 is going to sell like Molly 1047 00:45:50,646 --> 00:45:53,015 to a girl that doesn't talk to her parents that much, okay? 1048 00:45:53,015 --> 00:45:54,550 I need you to be on nipple supervision, all right? 1049 00:45:54,550 --> 00:45:56,352 You got to go through the video game and make sure 1050 00:45:56,352 --> 00:45:58,387 that every girl's nipples are erect, okay? 1051 00:45:58,387 --> 00:45:59,989 We're gonna go for the only demographic 1052 00:45:59,989 --> 00:46:01,624 that matters, and that's teenage boys. 1053 00:46:01,624 --> 00:46:03,493 Well, that's ridiculous because John and I 1054 00:46:03,493 --> 00:46:04,861 are writing a great script. 1055 00:46:04,861 --> 00:46:06,662 I'm sorry. That app is going off that I downloaded. 1056 00:46:06,662 --> 00:46:08,564 It keeps going off when people say stupid shit. 1057 00:46:08,564 --> 00:46:09,899 Uh, let me fix this. Turn it off. 1058 00:46:09,899 --> 00:46:13,703 [CLEARS THROAT] You want to know what men really get off on? 1059 00:46:13,703 --> 00:46:14,804 No. 1060 00:46:14,804 --> 00:46:15,905 The conquest, okay? 1061 00:46:15,905 --> 00:46:17,940 Look, I'm a hunter. We're hunters. We're men. 1062 00:46:17,940 --> 00:46:21,410 I'm a man. I'm a hunter, okay? I hunted you. I got you. 1063 00:46:21,410 --> 00:46:22,912 I found you. I kept you for a little bit, 1064 00:46:22,912 --> 00:46:25,715 and then I got bored, and then you left and now I'm-- 1065 00:46:25,715 --> 00:46:28,751 I'm attracted to you again, you know? That's what works. 1066 00:46:28,751 --> 00:46:29,819 The plan worked, okay? 1067 00:46:29,819 --> 00:46:33,022 So let's just go have sex in my office. 1068 00:46:33,022 --> 00:46:34,457 No. 1069 00:46:34,824 --> 00:46:36,726 Everything you have is... 1070 00:46:37,660 --> 00:46:41,030 Turn your fucking head. What's your... What's your name? 1071 00:46:41,030 --> 00:46:41,697 Demarcus. 1072 00:46:41,697 --> 00:46:42,932 You're the whitest guy in the world, 1073 00:46:42,932 --> 00:46:47,270 and his name's fucking Demarcus. Hey, I'm DeShawn. 1074 00:46:47,570 --> 00:46:48,137 Anyway, 1075 00:46:48,137 --> 00:46:52,441 every-- everything you have is because of me. 1076 00:46:52,441 --> 00:46:54,477 But I want to be a writer. 1077 00:46:54,477 --> 00:46:55,711 Can you just make sure you supervise 1078 00:46:55,711 --> 00:46:57,713 all the nipples, please? That's what I need from you. 1079 00:46:57,713 --> 00:47:01,117 That is, if you want to get a paycheck, big boobs. 1080 00:47:04,754 --> 00:47:05,488 [SIGHS] 1081 00:47:05,488 --> 00:47:08,457 "I want to be a writer." [MUMBLING] 1082 00:47:09,325 --> 00:47:12,428 Mark was down there for so long. 1083 00:47:12,428 --> 00:47:14,330 I wonder what he was thinking about. 1084 00:47:14,330 --> 00:47:17,133 -He was thinking: Yum, yum! -[LAUGHING] 1085 00:47:17,133 --> 00:47:19,001 I feel like guys who won't go down on you 1086 00:47:19,001 --> 00:47:19,902 aren't hetero enough. 1087 00:47:19,902 --> 00:47:21,838 I mean, what would they rather be doing, 1088 00:47:21,838 --> 00:47:23,472 sucking a cock? 1089 00:47:23,539 --> 00:47:24,373 This guy sounds amazing. 1090 00:47:24,373 --> 00:47:25,908 You can totally tell the difference between a guy 1091 00:47:25,908 --> 00:47:27,610 who's into it and a guy who's not. 1092 00:47:27,610 --> 00:47:29,779 I didn't even know that I liked it that much, 1093 00:47:29,779 --> 00:47:33,182 but I haven't had sex with a lot of people. 1094 00:47:33,382 --> 00:47:34,350 It's good if a guy's good at it. 1095 00:47:34,350 --> 00:47:37,787 Otherwise, it's like sandpaper rubbing against your clitoris 1096 00:47:37,787 --> 00:47:39,755 while you lay in a pool of saliva. 1097 00:47:39,755 --> 00:47:41,057 -Ah! -Oh! 1098 00:47:41,057 --> 00:47:42,625 Well, this guy was great at it. 1099 00:47:42,625 --> 00:47:44,727 I think he could write an instruction manual 1100 00:47:44,727 --> 00:47:46,062 -on tonguemanship. -Wow! 1101 00:47:46,062 --> 00:47:48,965 -Did you have sex? -I had great sex. 1102 00:47:48,965 --> 00:47:50,933 -I had the best sex of my life. -[BOTH GASP] 1103 00:47:50,933 --> 00:47:53,369 You guys both had great sex and I got nothing. 1104 00:47:53,369 --> 00:47:54,303 Are you going out again? 1105 00:47:54,303 --> 00:47:55,872 I don't know. What's the point? 1106 00:47:55,872 --> 00:47:58,007 -Getting head! -The best sex of your life. 1107 00:47:58,007 --> 00:48:00,343 I can't. I just look better with clothes on. 1108 00:48:00,343 --> 00:48:02,278 I don't want him to see me naked. 1109 00:48:02,278 --> 00:48:04,013 But you let him lick your naked vagina. 1110 00:48:04,013 --> 00:48:06,082 I know, but that was just one tiny section 1111 00:48:06,082 --> 00:48:08,918 down there. And-- and I had clothes on. 1112 00:48:08,918 --> 00:48:10,853 Plus, I work with models all day at work, 1113 00:48:10,853 --> 00:48:12,121 and they're in such great shape. 1114 00:48:12,121 --> 00:48:14,624 Just-- I look like crap compared to them. 1115 00:48:14,624 --> 00:48:16,025 You are hot! 1116 00:48:16,492 --> 00:48:17,593 I don't know. 1117 00:48:17,593 --> 00:48:19,228 Maybe he's too nice. 1118 00:48:19,228 --> 00:48:21,130 I'd take nice over mean any day. 1119 00:48:21,130 --> 00:48:23,766 Yeah, or commitment-phobic. 1120 00:48:24,400 --> 00:48:27,236 Let's make a pact to be with good guys only. 1121 00:48:27,236 --> 00:48:30,439 Guys who treat us great, like we deserve. 1122 00:48:30,539 --> 00:48:32,575 Yeah, good-guy pact. 1123 00:48:32,975 --> 00:48:34,543 Mark is so handsome. 1124 00:48:34,543 --> 00:48:36,445 There must be something wrong with him. 1125 00:48:36,445 --> 00:48:38,381 Or maybe I just don't know how to be with someone 1126 00:48:38,381 --> 00:48:41,117 who's so sexually giving, which means I like jerks, 1127 00:48:41,117 --> 00:48:43,786 which also means I can't be in the good-guy pact. 1128 00:48:43,786 --> 00:48:46,088 I'm gonna light a candle for you and Mark. 1129 00:48:46,088 --> 00:48:47,957 Me, too. Okay. 1130 00:48:47,957 --> 00:48:49,492 -Don't forget the pact. -[SIGHS] 1131 00:48:49,492 --> 00:48:50,326 Good guys only. 1132 00:48:50,326 --> 00:48:52,361 -Good guys only. -Good guys only. 1133 00:48:52,361 --> 00:48:54,063 -Maybe sometimes a jerk? -No. 1134 00:48:54,063 --> 00:48:55,898 -No. -No? Jerk sex? 1135 00:48:55,898 --> 00:48:58,034 -No jerk sex. -Aw. 1136 00:49:01,938 --> 00:49:05,441 -[PHONE RINGING] -[INDISTINCT CHATTER] 1137 00:49:08,177 --> 00:49:08,978 Oh, hey. 1138 00:49:08,978 --> 00:49:11,647 Um, thank you for sending me your script, 1139 00:49:11,647 --> 00:49:14,917 The Red Flow. I-- I thought it was hilarious. 1140 00:49:14,917 --> 00:49:16,953 -You read it? -I loved it. 1141 00:49:16,953 --> 00:49:17,954 Yeah, but will it ever be made? 1142 00:49:17,954 --> 00:49:20,923 A movie about a girl getting her period. 1143 00:49:21,357 --> 00:49:22,191 Why not? 1144 00:49:22,191 --> 00:49:24,226 You know, I really want to write a script 1145 00:49:24,226 --> 00:49:25,394 about my new friends. They're, like, 1146 00:49:25,394 --> 00:49:28,164 these modern-day witches. They're really inspiring. 1147 00:49:28,164 --> 00:49:30,466 Yes, witches, girl power. 1148 00:49:30,833 --> 00:49:32,301 Do it. 1149 00:49:32,935 --> 00:49:34,103 Have you heard about this video game 1150 00:49:34,103 --> 00:49:36,205 that Peter is doing? It is so vile. 1151 00:49:36,205 --> 00:49:37,306 Yeah, I heard about it. 1152 00:49:37,306 --> 00:49:38,808 I wish I could destroy the computers 1153 00:49:38,808 --> 00:49:42,645 or make my own video game called Sluts Fight Back. 1154 00:49:42,645 --> 00:49:45,348 [CHUCKLES] I love that. "Sluts Fight Back." 1155 00:49:45,348 --> 00:49:46,983 If I was technological, I'd just put a virus 1156 00:49:46,983 --> 00:49:49,852 in the whole system and I would shut it down. 1157 00:49:49,852 --> 00:49:51,320 Well... 1158 00:49:52,688 --> 00:49:55,091 well, it's funny that you say that, 1159 00:49:55,091 --> 00:49:57,593 'cause I happen to be technological. 1160 00:49:57,593 --> 00:50:00,763 [MUSIC PLAYING] 1161 00:50:10,272 --> 00:50:11,607 What are you doing? 1162 00:50:11,607 --> 00:50:14,443 -[TYPING] -Technological stuff. 1163 00:50:14,443 --> 00:50:16,779 [SIGHS] We could be fired. 1164 00:50:16,779 --> 00:50:19,115 Not if no one finds out. 1165 00:50:19,115 --> 00:50:22,084 [MUSIC PLAYING] 1166 00:50:27,690 --> 00:50:29,492 [LAUGHING] 1167 00:50:29,492 --> 00:50:32,028 God. [SIGHS] 1168 00:50:32,028 --> 00:50:33,162 -You're a genius. -Yeah, 1169 00:50:33,162 --> 00:50:34,630 you know what? I am a freaking genius. 1170 00:50:34,630 --> 00:50:36,732 -That was awesome. -[SIGHS] 1171 00:50:37,033 --> 00:50:38,868 It was so awesome. 1172 00:50:38,868 --> 00:50:40,936 What are you doing now? You wanna-- you wanna 1173 00:50:40,936 --> 00:50:44,073 -grab something to eat? -Oh, I have plans. 1174 00:50:44,140 --> 00:50:45,441 This may or may not change your mind, 1175 00:50:45,441 --> 00:50:48,911 but aside from being a genius and a technological wizard, 1176 00:50:48,911 --> 00:50:51,147 I am also, um... 1177 00:50:51,280 --> 00:50:52,581 a really great rapper. 1178 00:50:52,581 --> 00:50:54,450 -Really? -Yeah, I'd love to show you 1179 00:50:54,450 --> 00:50:55,885 some of my hip-hop stuff. 1180 00:50:55,885 --> 00:50:57,753 -Okay. -You ready for this? 1181 00:50:57,753 --> 00:50:58,821 -Yeah. -You sure? 1182 00:50:58,821 --> 00:51:00,756 -Uh, I think so. -Mm-hmm. 1183 00:51:01,023 --> 00:51:02,425 Um... 1184 00:51:02,525 --> 00:51:04,660 ♪ You so ambitious ♪ 1185 00:51:04,660 --> 00:51:07,329 ♪ Your soul is sweet And superstitious ♪ 1186 00:51:07,329 --> 00:51:10,399 ♪ Your eyes your lip Your heart ♪ 1187 00:51:11,000 --> 00:51:15,071 ♪ They're breakin' records And the dishes ♪ 1188 00:51:15,071 --> 00:51:17,339 ♪ Mm-mm mm-mm ♪ 1189 00:51:17,339 --> 00:51:20,176 ♪ Mm-mm-mm Chicka-chicka ♪ 1190 00:51:20,176 --> 00:51:21,877 ♪ Mm-mm mm-mm ♪ 1191 00:51:21,877 --> 00:51:23,846 This goes on for, like, four minutes. 1192 00:51:23,846 --> 00:51:24,980 [CHUCKLES] Wow. 1193 00:51:24,980 --> 00:51:27,149 -Don't give up your day job. -[LAUGHING] Come on! 1194 00:51:27,149 --> 00:51:29,452 -No, it was great. I loved it. -I just wanted to do it. 1195 00:51:29,452 --> 00:51:30,686 -That was brave. -I had an instinct. 1196 00:51:30,686 --> 00:51:33,355 Yeah, anyway, you got the technology smarts. 1197 00:51:33,355 --> 00:51:34,557 -Thanks, yo. -Word to your mother. 1198 00:51:34,557 --> 00:51:36,759 Word to your mother. Tell your mother I said word. 1199 00:51:36,759 --> 00:51:39,195 -[CHUCKLES] See you Monday. -Bye. 1200 00:51:39,195 --> 00:51:42,598 [MUSIC PLAYING] 1201 00:51:46,268 --> 00:51:48,471 HONEY: Thanks for giving me this dress. 1202 00:51:48,471 --> 00:51:49,338 CANDY: Ditto. 1203 00:51:49,338 --> 00:51:51,073 Oh, God. Okay, okay, I don't know. 1204 00:51:51,073 --> 00:51:52,141 Maybe we shouldn't go. 1205 00:51:52,141 --> 00:51:53,776 -How do I look? -CANDY: You look hot! 1206 00:51:53,776 --> 00:51:55,311 You look so hot I want to have sex with you. 1207 00:51:55,311 --> 00:51:58,514 EVA: Okay, no, I just-- Oh! Would you guys stop it? 1208 00:51:58,514 --> 00:51:59,748 -Stop it! -I really wanna 1209 00:51:59,748 --> 00:52:01,283 -have sex with you. -Oh, my God, 1210 00:52:01,283 --> 00:52:02,351 you guys are weird. 1211 00:52:02,351 --> 00:52:05,421 Okay, come on. I can't do this alone. Come on. 1212 00:52:05,421 --> 00:52:07,623 [JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING] 1213 00:52:07,623 --> 00:52:09,091 -WOMAN: Great show. -[INDISTINCT CHATTER] 1214 00:52:09,091 --> 00:52:11,227 HONEY: Does Darren have a daughter? 1215 00:52:11,227 --> 00:52:13,662 No, that's his new girlfriend. 1216 00:52:13,662 --> 00:52:15,865 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 1217 00:52:16,732 --> 00:52:18,167 Oh. 1218 00:52:18,501 --> 00:52:21,070 Oh! 1219 00:52:21,070 --> 00:52:23,572 Holy shit! 1220 00:52:23,572 --> 00:52:27,376 -HONEY: Is that you? -EVA: Holy shit! 1221 00:52:27,576 --> 00:52:29,145 Is that me? 1222 00:52:29,211 --> 00:52:30,379 Oh, my God. 1223 00:52:30,379 --> 00:52:35,217 Not entirely accurate, okay? It's not 1984 down there. 1224 00:52:35,217 --> 00:52:37,586 Oh, I prefer a full bush. 1225 00:52:37,586 --> 00:52:38,654 -Really? -Mm-hmm. 1226 00:52:38,654 --> 00:52:41,624 -Hey. Hi. -Hi! 1227 00:52:41,757 --> 00:52:42,558 Oh. 1228 00:52:42,558 --> 00:52:45,027 -I'm so glad you made it. -Congratulations. 1229 00:52:45,027 --> 00:52:47,429 Thanks. Thanks. Everybody's here. 1230 00:52:47,429 --> 00:52:48,831 -Times is here. -Oh. 1231 00:52:48,831 --> 00:52:50,399 L.A. Weekly. Yeah. 1232 00:52:50,399 --> 00:52:51,867 -Wow, well. -Yeah. 1233 00:52:51,867 --> 00:52:54,270 Your new art is really amazing, 1234 00:52:54,270 --> 00:52:56,939 -and interesting. -I know. I know. 1235 00:52:57,006 --> 00:52:59,141 EVA: There's-- there's a lot happening... 1236 00:52:59,141 --> 00:53:01,343 -It's powerful stuff. -...with all of it. 1237 00:53:01,343 --> 00:53:03,946 I didn't get your smile exactly right, But, 1238 00:53:03,946 --> 00:53:06,348 -eh, it's still great. -[CHUCKLES] 1239 00:53:06,348 --> 00:53:09,051 Hey. Let's have dinner on Saturday, huh? 1240 00:53:09,051 --> 00:53:10,186 -Really? -Yeah. 1241 00:53:10,186 --> 00:53:11,253 -Okay. -Great. 1242 00:53:11,253 --> 00:53:12,621 -Great. -Cool. Text you. 1243 00:53:12,621 --> 00:53:13,756 -Okay. -Okay. 1244 00:53:13,756 --> 00:53:15,424 Yeah, I got to go talk to some people. 1245 00:53:15,424 --> 00:53:17,660 Oh, okay, sure. You're busy. 1246 00:53:17,660 --> 00:53:20,062 Why is he wearing that weird hat? 1247 00:53:22,131 --> 00:53:23,299 I don't know. 1248 00:53:23,299 --> 00:53:27,670 [JAZZ PLAYING] 1249 00:53:32,308 --> 00:53:34,009 Somebody fucked with our system! 1250 00:53:34,009 --> 00:53:35,945 I can't get this image off the screen! 1251 00:53:35,945 --> 00:53:37,479 I thought we were on a closed network! 1252 00:53:37,479 --> 00:53:39,582 Someone hacked into the program! 1253 00:53:39,582 --> 00:53:40,950 Someone with a password! 1254 00:53:40,950 --> 00:53:44,353 Uh, Peter, not to point fingers or anything... 1255 00:53:44,353 --> 00:53:46,355 Yeah, okay, look, I'm way ahead of you. 1256 00:53:46,355 --> 00:53:47,890 You're not a fucking detective, all right? 1257 00:53:47,890 --> 00:53:49,858 -Did you do this? -I can't even figure out 1258 00:53:49,858 --> 00:53:51,160 how to download the software updates 1259 00:53:51,160 --> 00:53:52,461 -on my computer. -That's true. 1260 00:53:52,461 --> 00:53:54,697 She can't fucking download the software updates 1261 00:53:54,697 --> 00:53:55,397 on her computer. 1262 00:53:55,397 --> 00:53:57,032 -What's your name? Darrell? -Demarcus. 1263 00:53:57,032 --> 00:53:59,868 -Demarcus, you're fired, dude. -Come on, man! 1264 00:53:59,868 --> 00:54:01,870 You're fired, and I'm gonna get a new nerd 1265 00:54:01,870 --> 00:54:03,973 to make this system that you can't fuck with it. 1266 00:54:03,973 --> 00:54:05,941 Hey, you're the guy who has "password" 1267 00:54:05,941 --> 00:54:06,909 as his password, man. 1268 00:54:06,909 --> 00:54:09,211 Well, why don't you fucking broadcast it on Twitter, man? 1269 00:54:09,211 --> 00:54:10,879 You're not supposed to tell people my password. 1270 00:54:10,879 --> 00:54:13,249 -I have to change it. -I can do the password. 1271 00:54:13,249 --> 00:54:15,317 You don't need to do it. I'll do it. 1272 00:54:15,317 --> 00:54:17,453 I'm gonna change it. Shit! 1273 00:54:17,453 --> 00:54:19,188 Oh, come on, man. 1274 00:54:19,188 --> 00:54:20,689 That sucks. 1275 00:54:20,689 --> 00:54:22,391 See you guys later. 1276 00:54:30,799 --> 00:54:32,401 Babe? 1277 00:54:33,035 --> 00:54:36,171 You-- you haven't returned any of my calls. 1278 00:54:36,338 --> 00:54:38,941 I've been thinking about what you said. 1279 00:54:40,175 --> 00:54:42,077 Can you please let me in? 1280 00:54:42,344 --> 00:54:45,648 -I really need to talk to you. -What do you want? 1281 00:54:45,648 --> 00:54:47,983 Can you-- can you please let me in? 1282 00:54:47,983 --> 00:54:49,752 Tell me what you want. 1283 00:54:50,886 --> 00:54:52,321 Please? 1284 00:54:53,956 --> 00:54:54,823 [SIGHS] 1285 00:54:54,823 --> 00:54:56,825 Look, I-- I don't know. I-- 1286 00:54:56,825 --> 00:54:59,061 This is really hard for me to say. 1287 00:54:59,161 --> 00:55:00,896 What? 1288 00:55:01,363 --> 00:55:04,833 I really liked how you bossed me around. 1289 00:55:05,434 --> 00:55:08,304 You know, I didn't think I would, but... 1290 00:55:08,504 --> 00:55:09,972 it... 1291 00:55:10,105 --> 00:55:12,074 kind of turned me on. 1292 00:55:12,441 --> 00:55:13,642 Are you serious? 1293 00:55:13,642 --> 00:55:15,611 Yeah, is that really weird? 1294 00:55:16,111 --> 00:55:17,746 Yeah, kinda. 1295 00:55:18,580 --> 00:55:21,717 Can you... boss me around some more? 1296 00:55:24,853 --> 00:55:26,221 Really? 1297 00:55:26,355 --> 00:55:27,823 Yeah. 1298 00:55:31,593 --> 00:55:36,231 [MUSIC PLAYING] 1299 00:55:40,169 --> 00:55:41,870 Give me ten minutes. 1300 00:55:55,884 --> 00:55:58,253 I want you to do my laundry! 1301 00:55:58,253 --> 00:55:59,688 Wow. 1302 00:56:00,055 --> 00:56:01,457 Now! 1303 00:56:02,524 --> 00:56:04,393 And clean my apartment! 1304 00:56:06,128 --> 00:56:08,197 And then I want you to lick it! 1305 00:56:08,897 --> 00:56:11,166 -All right. -Crawl! 1306 00:56:17,840 --> 00:56:20,743 [MUSIC PLAYING] 1307 00:56:24,079 --> 00:56:25,180 MARK: Eva. 1308 00:56:25,180 --> 00:56:26,849 -Hey! -Hi. 1309 00:56:27,149 --> 00:56:29,618 -How are you? -I'm good. 1310 00:56:30,419 --> 00:56:32,087 Welcome to my restaurant. 1311 00:56:32,087 --> 00:56:33,522 This place is incredible. 1312 00:56:33,522 --> 00:56:36,625 -Thank you. It's true. -[CHUCKLES] 1313 00:56:36,992 --> 00:56:37,659 Um... 1314 00:56:37,659 --> 00:56:40,596 Rebecca got sick and couldn't find a sitter, 1315 00:56:40,596 --> 00:56:41,397 so... 1316 00:56:41,397 --> 00:56:44,500 I'd like to introduce you to my daughters. 1317 00:56:44,500 --> 00:56:46,268 Mary, Melinda... 1318 00:56:46,268 --> 00:56:48,070 -this is Eva. -Hi. 1319 00:56:48,070 --> 00:56:52,241 -I like your outfit. -Thank you. I make dresses. 1320 00:56:52,408 --> 00:56:53,842 I like princess dresses. 1321 00:56:53,842 --> 00:56:55,377 I could make you a princess dress. 1322 00:56:55,377 --> 00:56:57,079 -Would you like that? -Yes! 1323 00:56:57,079 --> 00:56:58,113 Can I have a dress? 1324 00:56:58,113 --> 00:57:00,482 -Absolutely, sweetie. -Yes. 1325 00:57:00,482 --> 00:57:04,386 What if you guys come back to my house after dinner? 1326 00:57:04,386 --> 00:57:06,855 I have lots of dresses. We could play dress-up. 1327 00:57:06,855 --> 00:57:09,425 'Cause I kind of want to hang out with these princesses. 1328 00:57:09,425 --> 00:57:11,093 They're pretty cool. 1329 00:57:11,927 --> 00:57:13,295 Mm! 1330 00:57:13,295 --> 00:57:14,863 I'm having... 1331 00:57:14,863 --> 00:57:16,198 a food orgasm right now. 1332 00:57:16,198 --> 00:57:18,033 -Oh, yeah? Good. -Oh, yeah. I am. 1333 00:57:18,033 --> 00:57:19,735 -[MARK CHUCKLES] -What's an orgasm? 1334 00:57:19,735 --> 00:57:23,605 -Oh, oops. I'm sorry. -Um, uh, it's, uh... 1335 00:57:23,739 --> 00:57:24,940 It's happiness. 1336 00:57:24,940 --> 00:57:27,009 -Hey. Right? -Yeah! 1337 00:57:27,009 --> 00:57:28,110 -Yeah. -How about some music? 1338 00:57:28,110 --> 00:57:29,812 -Mm-hmm. -You guys look beautiful! 1339 00:57:29,812 --> 00:57:31,079 Let's do a fashion show. 1340 00:57:31,079 --> 00:57:33,449 Oh, now that sounds like fun, right, girls? 1341 00:57:33,449 --> 00:57:34,483 -Yeah. -We're gonna have 1342 00:57:34,483 --> 00:57:36,618 a little catwalk. What do you say? 1343 00:57:36,618 --> 00:57:39,021 -Yes! -[MUSIC PLAYING] 1344 00:57:39,755 --> 00:57:41,089 [MARK CHUCKLING] 1345 00:57:41,089 --> 00:57:42,791 Ready? Here we go. 1346 00:57:43,058 --> 00:57:45,794 ♪ Combination must be All right ♪ 1347 00:57:45,794 --> 00:57:47,529 [MARK LAUGHING] 1348 00:57:47,596 --> 00:57:49,164 [GIRLS GIGGLING] 1349 00:57:50,365 --> 00:57:53,602 ♪ I feel it ♪ 1350 00:57:53,769 --> 00:57:54,903 EVA: Go, big sister. 1351 00:57:54,903 --> 00:57:56,839 ♪ I feel it ♪ 1352 00:57:56,839 --> 00:57:59,741 Yay! Little miss. Go do your thing! 1353 00:57:59,741 --> 00:58:00,943 Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness. 1354 00:58:00,943 --> 00:58:02,911 -MELINDA: Daddy, you got to go! -Yes, Daddy! 1355 00:58:02,911 --> 00:58:05,447 Oh, I don't think I need to do that, no. 1356 00:58:05,447 --> 00:58:06,281 Oh, I think you need to. 1357 00:58:06,281 --> 00:58:10,018 What is that? It looks like a violent shoulder move. 1358 00:58:10,018 --> 00:58:11,487 [ALL LAUGHING] 1359 00:58:11,487 --> 00:58:13,021 MARY: Yay! 1360 00:58:13,155 --> 00:58:16,425 -Yeah! -Yeah! 1361 00:58:16,992 --> 00:58:18,727 Let's go. Let's do it again. 1362 00:58:18,727 --> 00:58:21,763 Meow. Freestyle. I'm a kitty cat. 1363 00:58:21,763 --> 00:58:23,465 Oh! Meow! Meow! 1364 00:58:23,465 --> 00:58:24,800 I'm a kitty. Work, work, work! 1365 00:58:24,800 --> 00:58:29,004 -♪ I feel it ♪ -♪ Oh, I feel it ♪ 1366 00:58:29,004 --> 00:58:32,941 -♪ Oh, I feel it ♪ -♪ I feel it ♪ 1367 00:58:32,941 --> 00:58:37,479 ♪ Oh, I feel love ♪ 1368 00:58:39,181 --> 00:58:40,682 Call me... 1369 00:58:41,116 --> 00:58:42,684 [SIGHS] 1370 00:58:47,489 --> 00:58:49,658 [CHEERING] 1371 00:58:49,658 --> 00:58:52,160 [MUSIC PLAYING] 1372 00:58:52,895 --> 00:58:55,931 -Hello? -Hi. It's me. 1373 00:58:55,931 --> 00:58:57,165 Hi. 1374 00:58:57,165 --> 00:58:58,200 Hey, what are you doing? 1375 00:58:58,200 --> 00:59:00,836 I'm just, uh, having a few people over, yeah? 1376 00:59:00,836 --> 00:59:02,437 Uh, you want to come by? 1377 00:59:02,437 --> 00:59:04,139 Feel the music! 1378 00:59:04,239 --> 00:59:04,840 Yeah. 1379 00:59:04,840 --> 00:59:07,576 -FREEDOM: Yeah, all right. -Okay, see you soon. 1380 00:59:07,576 --> 00:59:09,778 [MUSIC PLAYING] 1381 00:59:09,778 --> 00:59:12,347 [SNIFFING] 1382 00:59:12,414 --> 00:59:13,749 [SIGHS] 1383 00:59:19,488 --> 00:59:21,223 FREEDOM: Hey! [CHUCKLES] 1384 00:59:22,324 --> 00:59:25,260 -MAN: One for everybody! -FREEDOM: Oh! 1385 00:59:26,895 --> 00:59:28,397 You in for the next round? Yeah? 1386 00:59:28,397 --> 00:59:30,766 You-- I know you want one. 1387 00:59:30,766 --> 00:59:32,234 [SIGHS] 1388 00:59:33,969 --> 00:59:36,805 -HONEY: Mm. -FREEDOM: Mm-hmm. 1389 00:59:36,805 --> 00:59:38,907 Oh, it's so good to see you. 1390 00:59:38,907 --> 00:59:40,776 I'm so glad you called. [CHUCKLES] 1391 00:59:40,776 --> 00:59:42,077 -You want a bump? -Oh, I'm sorry. 1392 00:59:01,776 --> 00:59:42,077 .:: HDMovie8.Com ::. 1393 00:59:42,077 --> 00:59:45,247 I don't do drugs. I'm a lightweight. [CHUCKLES] 1394 00:59:45,247 --> 00:59:46,515 [SNIFFING] 1395 00:59:46,515 --> 00:59:49,051 -Do you want to dance, yeah? -HONEY: Sure. 1396 00:59:49,051 --> 00:59:50,752 Yeah. [CHUCKLES] 1397 00:59:51,820 --> 00:59:54,756 Hey. I took too much of this tonight. You want some? 1398 00:59:54,756 --> 00:59:57,793 -Yeah, thank you. Yeah. -Yeah. Hey! 1399 00:59:57,793 --> 00:59:58,627 Mm. Try that? 1400 00:59:58,627 --> 01:00:00,762 -No, thanks. [CHUCKLES] -No? 1401 01:00:01,330 --> 01:00:03,799 Ugh! [CHUCKLES] 1402 01:00:04,766 --> 01:00:06,768 You know, I've been thinking about you a lot. 1403 01:00:06,768 --> 01:00:08,370 -You have? -Yeah. 1404 01:00:08,370 --> 01:00:09,638 Why haven't you called? 1405 01:00:09,638 --> 01:00:12,074 Well, look in my eyes. Tell me what I'm thinking. 1406 01:00:12,074 --> 01:00:14,543 [CHUCKLES] Um, I don't know. 1407 01:00:14,543 --> 01:00:16,645 No, no! [CHUCKLES] 1408 01:00:17,879 --> 01:00:20,315 Talk to me. How do you feel? 1409 01:00:21,483 --> 01:00:24,086 -I like you. -You do? 1410 01:00:24,152 --> 01:00:25,621 Yeah. 1411 01:00:25,887 --> 01:00:27,556 I love you. 1412 01:00:27,656 --> 01:00:28,624 [GASPS] 1413 01:00:28,624 --> 01:00:30,158 I love you, yeah? 1414 01:00:30,158 --> 01:00:32,861 Don't you know that? Can't you tell? 1415 01:00:32,961 --> 01:00:35,297 Sometimes I can't talk unless I'm wasted. 1416 01:00:35,297 --> 01:00:36,798 Yeah, I get scared. 1417 01:00:36,798 --> 01:00:39,301 I'm gonna talk to you now, yeah? 1418 01:00:39,434 --> 01:00:40,969 I love you. 1419 01:00:41,737 --> 01:00:43,872 Oh, I love you. [CHUCKLES] 1420 01:00:43,872 --> 01:00:46,975 Do you see it in my eyes? Yeah, can you feel it? 1421 01:00:46,975 --> 01:00:50,245 I love you. 1422 01:00:50,245 --> 01:00:55,150 -[CHUCKLES] I love you. -I love you. Mm. Mm. 1423 01:00:57,219 --> 01:01:00,222 I love you! 1424 01:01:00,222 --> 01:01:02,224 -I love you! -I love-- 1425 01:01:02,224 --> 01:01:05,427 [HONEY MOANING] 1426 01:01:05,427 --> 01:01:08,263 [MUSIC PLAYING] 1427 01:01:09,798 --> 01:01:11,800 Oh, whoa. 1428 01:01:11,933 --> 01:01:14,503 My heart's beating really fast. 1429 01:01:15,303 --> 01:01:17,739 -Have you got a Valium? -No. 1430 01:01:17,739 --> 01:01:19,875 [PANTING] Xanax? 1431 01:01:20,876 --> 01:01:22,678 -NyQuil? -No. 1432 01:01:22,678 --> 01:01:23,812 [PANTING] 1433 01:01:23,812 --> 01:01:26,815 No, it's all right. I'll just talk to my heart, yeah? 1434 01:01:26,815 --> 01:01:29,351 I'll make it come down, yeah. [BREATHING HEAVILY] 1435 01:01:29,351 --> 01:01:30,752 Do you want me to turn the music off? 1436 01:01:30,752 --> 01:01:32,854 No, no, no, it's fine. No, I can... 1437 01:01:32,854 --> 01:01:34,990 I can do it. Yeah, I can make it. 1438 01:01:34,990 --> 01:01:36,825 Make it calm down. 1439 01:01:37,893 --> 01:01:41,396 -Do you want to have sex? -Whoa, whoa, whoa, babe, babe. 1440 01:01:41,396 --> 01:01:43,365 Sorry. That hurts, yeah? 1441 01:01:43,765 --> 01:01:46,501 Oh. [PANTING] 1442 01:01:46,702 --> 01:01:48,970 I've never felt that way before... 1443 01:01:48,970 --> 01:01:51,606 -[PANTING] -the way you made me feel. 1444 01:01:51,606 --> 01:01:53,008 Sex is beautiful. 1445 01:01:53,008 --> 01:01:55,243 I didn't have to feel bad about it. 1446 01:01:55,243 --> 01:01:56,712 Okay. 1447 01:01:56,912 --> 01:01:59,314 I felt really good about myself. 1448 01:01:59,314 --> 01:02:00,949 No, that's great, babe, but... 1449 01:02:00,949 --> 01:02:03,819 I don't think I can have sex right now. 1450 01:02:03,819 --> 01:02:05,821 Oh, God, I hope I don't have to go 1451 01:02:05,821 --> 01:02:07,823 to the emergency room again. 1452 01:02:07,823 --> 01:02:09,524 Oh, my God! 1453 01:02:09,725 --> 01:02:11,793 CANDY: And then I made him lick it! 1454 01:02:11,793 --> 01:02:13,128 And he did the whole alphabet 1455 01:02:13,128 --> 01:02:15,197 for 45 minutes. I looked at the clock. 1456 01:02:15,197 --> 01:02:16,998 -What? -Oh, my God! 1457 01:02:16,998 --> 01:02:17,899 CANDY: I know! 1458 01:02:17,899 --> 01:02:20,135 And then I made him do my laundry. 1459 01:02:20,135 --> 01:02:21,770 Now I have the power. 1460 01:02:21,770 --> 01:02:24,673 Did you ask him if he's seeing the other girls? 1461 01:02:24,673 --> 01:02:28,176 Oh, God! No, I forgot! Ugh! 1462 01:02:28,176 --> 01:02:30,378 Well, maybe your power isn't very powerful, 1463 01:02:30,378 --> 01:02:31,213 because you got him off, 1464 01:02:31,213 --> 01:02:32,914 and you didn't get what you wanted. 1465 01:02:32,914 --> 01:02:34,716 CANDY: My power's very powerful. 1466 01:02:34,716 --> 01:02:36,818 Why don't you ask for what you want? 1467 01:02:36,818 --> 01:02:40,155 [SIGHS] I try to talk to him, but it's, like... 1468 01:02:42,090 --> 01:02:44,659 Ah! Nothing comes out. 1469 01:02:44,760 --> 01:02:45,827 What is wrong with me? 1470 01:02:45,827 --> 01:02:49,431 I mean, I can talk to you guys, but I cannot talk to him. 1471 01:02:49,431 --> 01:02:51,633 It's like when I'm around him, I just... 1472 01:02:51,633 --> 01:02:54,069 He makes me so nervous that I'm not myself. 1473 01:02:54,069 --> 01:02:55,637 I'm like a unicorn. 1474 01:02:55,637 --> 01:02:57,606 Everyone knows you can't see a unicorn 1475 01:02:57,606 --> 01:02:59,508 unless you believe in them. 1476 01:02:59,508 --> 01:03:02,410 [SOBBING] It's like he can't see how... 1477 01:03:02,410 --> 01:03:04,546 magic I really am. 1478 01:03:04,546 --> 01:03:05,947 Oh! 1479 01:03:06,615 --> 01:03:09,484 Everyone can see it. It's super obvious. 1480 01:03:09,484 --> 01:03:11,286 Yeah. 1481 01:03:13,488 --> 01:03:16,591 What if I ask him for what I want... 1482 01:03:17,926 --> 01:03:19,761 and he leaves me? 1483 01:03:20,262 --> 01:03:21,263 You should try. 1484 01:03:21,263 --> 01:03:23,598 Sometimes I don't even know what I want. 1485 01:03:23,598 --> 01:03:26,635 I think you're being too hard on yourself. 1486 01:03:26,902 --> 01:03:29,404 Okay, what candle did you bring? 1487 01:03:30,739 --> 01:03:32,407 The white candle. 1488 01:03:33,608 --> 01:03:35,143 For healing. 1489 01:03:36,244 --> 01:03:37,646 We all say... 1490 01:03:37,646 --> 01:03:39,681 "I wish to remove anything negative 1491 01:03:39,681 --> 01:03:41,116 from my life." 1492 01:03:41,116 --> 01:03:43,952 ALL: I wish to remove anything negative 1493 01:03:43,952 --> 01:03:45,554 from my life. 1494 01:03:45,654 --> 01:03:47,656 And so mote it be. 1495 01:03:50,091 --> 01:03:55,630 [MUSIC PLAYING] 1496 01:03:58,366 --> 01:04:00,602 Oh, and I wish for a unicorn. 1497 01:04:00,602 --> 01:04:02,070 [CHUCKLES] 1498 01:04:02,070 --> 01:04:04,239 Are you dating other women? 1499 01:04:04,239 --> 01:04:06,675 Why are you talking in that weird voice? 1500 01:04:06,675 --> 01:04:07,676 I'm trying to sound powerful. 1501 01:04:07,676 --> 01:04:09,778 I thought that's what turned you on last time. 1502 01:04:09,778 --> 01:04:11,146 Yeah, it turned me on 1503 01:04:11,146 --> 01:04:12,380 that you asked for what you wanted. 1504 01:04:12,380 --> 01:04:13,982 I just never knew what you were thinking before 1505 01:04:13,982 --> 01:04:15,951 because you just always agreed with everything I said. 1506 01:04:15,951 --> 01:04:18,186 Well, I don't agree with a lot of things you say! 1507 01:04:18,186 --> 01:04:20,322 Maybe listen to me for once! 1508 01:04:20,322 --> 01:04:20,922 Okay. 1509 01:04:20,922 --> 01:04:23,792 Stop dating other women! Are you dating other women? 1510 01:04:23,792 --> 01:04:27,529 Well, there are two other women that I sometimes see. 1511 01:04:29,297 --> 01:04:31,233 Pick me and only me. 1512 01:04:33,001 --> 01:04:34,736 I'll think about it. 1513 01:04:35,604 --> 01:04:37,772 And then she uncovers her true erotic nature 1514 01:04:37,772 --> 01:04:39,207 and defeats the killer inside herself, 1515 01:04:39,207 --> 01:04:42,477 which is really her own self-limiting beliefs. 1516 01:04:42,477 --> 01:04:44,479 Wow, that sounds like a real blockbuster. 1517 01:04:44,479 --> 01:04:45,480 Well, actually, I-- I do think 1518 01:04:45,480 --> 01:04:46,948 it has potential to be a real blockbuster, 1519 01:04:46,948 --> 01:04:50,151 because what we've done here is we've-- we've satisfied 1520 01:04:50,151 --> 01:04:50,986 the demands of the genre 1521 01:04:50,986 --> 01:04:54,422 while also creating something truly original. 1522 01:04:54,723 --> 01:04:55,924 Oh, sorry, man. I almost fell asleep 1523 01:04:55,924 --> 01:04:58,126 with what you're saying, 'cause it's boring as shit. 1524 01:04:58,126 --> 01:04:59,427 Hey, do you want to have sex in the bathroom, 1525 01:04:59,427 --> 01:05:02,163 or do you want to reject me like my own mother did, huh? 1526 01:05:02,163 --> 01:05:03,365 Why did you break up with me? Huh? 1527 01:05:03,365 --> 01:05:05,600 Why did you break up with me? All I wanted to do was love you, 1528 01:05:05,600 --> 01:05:08,370 and mentor you, and help you achieve your true potential. 1529 01:05:08,370 --> 01:05:10,105 I'm sorry. I don't know what to say. 1530 01:05:10,105 --> 01:05:11,172 I hate that you're not into me. 1531 01:05:11,172 --> 01:05:12,440 It makes me so much more attracted to you. 1532 01:05:12,440 --> 01:05:14,175 And I thought you were desperate and too old 1533 01:05:14,175 --> 01:05:15,777 to bear children without birth defects. 1534 01:05:15,777 --> 01:05:17,512 Oh, that's so out of line. 1535 01:05:17,512 --> 01:05:18,947 I'm so relieved that you find me attractive, 1536 01:05:18,947 --> 01:05:21,149 but when can Linda read the script that we wrote? 1537 01:05:21,149 --> 01:05:24,085 I don't want you speaking directly to Linda anymore, 1538 01:05:24,085 --> 01:05:26,655 okay? And here's another piece of advice for you, 1539 01:05:26,655 --> 01:05:28,523 uh, your boobs are too big, okay? 1540 01:05:28,523 --> 01:05:29,824 They're too big and they're flopping around, 1541 01:05:29,824 --> 01:05:31,259 and they make you look like a bimbo, all right? 1542 01:05:31,259 --> 01:05:34,329 You look like a dummy. That's why your directing career 1543 01:05:34,329 --> 01:05:35,497 hasn't gotten off the ground yet, 1544 01:05:35,497 --> 01:05:36,831 'cause you look like a big-boobied dummy. 1545 01:05:36,831 --> 01:05:39,401 Well, that's great advice. Should I cut my boobs off 1546 01:05:39,401 --> 01:05:40,568 -so I can seem smarter? -No, 1547 01:05:40,568 --> 01:05:43,038 you shouldn't cut your boobs off, okay? 1548 01:05:43,038 --> 01:05:43,972 But what you could do is, 1549 01:05:43,972 --> 01:05:45,540 you could mash them down a little bit. You could take-- 1550 01:05:45,540 --> 01:05:49,377 You know what you could do? You could Saran Wrap them, okay? 1551 01:05:49,377 --> 01:05:51,780 I do it to my dick when I'm on vacation in France. 1552 01:05:51,780 --> 01:05:54,382 I got a big dick and it fucking goes right here 1553 01:05:54,382 --> 01:05:56,117 and I tape it here. 1554 01:05:58,787 --> 01:06:02,824 My bodacious ta-tas honor me and they honor you. 1555 01:06:02,824 --> 01:06:04,259 Should I be taking notes on some of this stuff 1556 01:06:04,259 --> 01:06:06,594 for the sexual-harassment lawsuit we're all going to? 1557 01:06:06,594 --> 01:06:10,765 Hey, don't make me load my emotional gun, okay, dude? 1558 01:06:10,765 --> 01:06:11,599 'Cause I'm one step away 1559 01:06:11,599 --> 01:06:14,302 from loading this emotional gun, dude. 1560 01:06:14,636 --> 01:06:16,104 Cool. 1561 01:06:17,706 --> 01:06:19,941 That dress looks so great on you. 1562 01:06:19,941 --> 01:06:21,343 Why are you going out with Darren again? 1563 01:06:21,343 --> 01:06:23,144 HONEY: You should be going out with the licker. I mean, 1564 01:06:23,144 --> 01:06:25,213 there's no contest. You either get licked 1565 01:06:25,213 --> 01:06:26,181 or you don't. 1566 01:06:26,181 --> 01:06:28,516 [SIGHS] I was married to Darren 1567 01:06:28,516 --> 01:06:29,651 for 14 years. 1568 01:06:29,651 --> 01:06:31,052 I have to give him another chance. 1569 01:06:31,052 --> 01:06:34,356 Yeah, you don't want him to miss out on another chance 1570 01:06:34,356 --> 01:06:35,991 of not going down on you again. 1571 01:06:35,991 --> 01:06:38,259 Okay, I just texted Mark and I made a date tonight, 1572 01:06:38,259 --> 01:06:40,028 -10:00 p.m., Butchers & Barbers. -Oh, no! No! 1573 01:06:40,028 --> 01:06:42,097 Then I said, "Would you lick me all over after?" 1574 01:06:42,097 --> 01:06:43,231 -No! -No, I didn't say that. 1575 01:06:43,231 --> 01:06:44,833 -Give it to me. -We must enact 1576 01:06:44,833 --> 01:06:45,633 the good-guy pact. 1577 01:06:45,633 --> 01:06:47,736 -Give it to me. -[DOORBELL RINGING] 1578 01:06:47,736 --> 01:06:50,071 [SQUEALING] 1579 01:06:53,274 --> 01:06:54,976 [EXHALING] 1580 01:06:57,379 --> 01:06:58,980 [SIGHS] 1581 01:06:59,481 --> 01:07:00,749 Oh, hi, babe. 1582 01:07:00,749 --> 01:07:03,118 -Hey! -Hey. Good to see you. 1583 01:07:03,118 --> 01:07:04,552 -Yeah. -[GROANS] 1584 01:07:04,552 --> 01:07:07,255 -Glad you're feeling better. -Thanks. 1585 01:07:08,323 --> 01:07:11,159 -Hey, I'm Honey. -And I'm Candy. 1586 01:07:11,159 --> 01:07:12,594 Oh. 1587 01:07:12,594 --> 01:07:13,628 All kinds of lozenges. 1588 01:07:13,628 --> 01:07:15,497 Cool. I thought it was just gonna be us tonight. 1589 01:07:15,497 --> 01:07:17,132 Yeah. Oh, of course. Of course. 1590 01:07:17,132 --> 01:07:19,534 Um, I can take it from here. 1591 01:07:20,602 --> 01:07:21,669 Don't fuck with her. 1592 01:07:21,669 --> 01:07:24,039 Okay. So it's time to go. 1593 01:07:24,039 --> 01:07:27,575 Um, I'll talk to you guys later. Let's go. 1594 01:07:27,675 --> 01:07:30,211 Don't forget your date tonight at ten. 1595 01:07:32,647 --> 01:07:33,748 You have a date? 1596 01:07:33,748 --> 01:07:34,849 -Uh- -Tonight? 1597 01:07:34,849 --> 01:07:37,585 Yes. She has a date. 1598 01:07:39,120 --> 01:07:40,889 With who? [CHUCKLES] 1599 01:07:40,955 --> 01:07:42,557 Not helping. 1600 01:07:42,657 --> 01:07:44,225 Okay, come on. 1601 01:07:45,660 --> 01:07:47,128 So... 1602 01:07:47,662 --> 01:07:49,697 I don't care, but who are you dating? 1603 01:07:49,697 --> 01:07:51,633 -Uh, I'm not. I'm just-- -I don't care. 1604 01:07:51,633 --> 01:07:52,667 -I really don't care. -Okay, 1605 01:07:52,667 --> 01:07:55,103 well, I might see Mark later, because I-- I just, 1606 01:07:55,103 --> 01:07:56,738 you know, ran into him the other day. 1607 01:07:56,738 --> 01:07:59,207 -You're dating my friend Mark? -No, I'm not dating him. 1608 01:07:59,207 --> 01:08:02,077 -I said I don't care. -We-- we hung out a little bit. 1609 01:08:02,077 --> 01:08:04,112 -I don't care. -Okay. 1610 01:08:04,112 --> 01:08:05,713 I don't care. 1611 01:08:07,082 --> 01:08:09,818 -Did you fuck Mark? -What? 1612 01:08:09,918 --> 01:08:12,287 No. I mean, come on. 1613 01:08:12,287 --> 01:08:14,689 -Yes, I did. Okay. -Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 1614 01:08:14,689 --> 01:08:16,324 Okay, I fucked Mark! It's none of your business! 1615 01:08:16,324 --> 01:08:17,525 You fucked my friend! How could-- 1616 01:08:17,525 --> 01:08:19,494 You fucked my friend! Of course that's my business! 1617 01:08:19,494 --> 01:08:20,795 Forget it. Forget I mentioned it. 1618 01:08:20,795 --> 01:08:21,930 How could I forget that? We got-- 1619 01:08:21,930 --> 01:08:24,232 He's my friend. We go on vacations together. 1620 01:08:24,232 --> 01:08:25,266 We went biking in Tuscany! 1621 01:08:25,266 --> 01:08:28,103 That was a horrible trip. Just forget it, okay? 1622 01:08:28,103 --> 01:08:29,404 I can't forget that you fucked my friend. 1623 01:08:29,404 --> 01:08:32,407 I don't care about Mark. I love you. I love you, honey. 1624 01:08:32,407 --> 01:08:33,842 I love you. 1625 01:08:33,842 --> 01:08:35,310 Okay? 1626 01:08:36,911 --> 01:08:38,746 -Where do you want to go? -[SIGHS] 1627 01:08:38,746 --> 01:08:40,882 I don't care. Where do you want to go? 1628 01:08:40,882 --> 01:08:41,850 We'll go to Butchers & Barbers. 1629 01:08:41,850 --> 01:08:43,918 -No, we are not! Stop it. -Get in. Get in. 1630 01:08:43,918 --> 01:08:45,053 -Don't be a child. -That's exactly 1631 01:08:45,053 --> 01:08:46,354 -where we're going. -Do not be a child. 1632 01:08:46,354 --> 01:08:47,589 -I'm not being a child -Yes, you are. 1633 01:08:47,589 --> 01:08:49,124 I'm being an extremely angry adult! 1634 01:08:49,124 --> 01:08:50,658 -All right. -That's a huge difference! 1635 01:08:50,658 --> 01:08:53,695 Get it out here, 'cause we're not going there! 1636 01:08:53,695 --> 01:08:55,964 -Are you gonna open my door? -Of course I am. 1637 01:08:55,964 --> 01:08:57,098 Thank you. 1638 01:08:57,098 --> 01:08:59,834 -DARREN: Oh, Mark? -EVA: Darren. 1639 01:08:59,834 --> 01:09:02,804 -DARREN: Mark! -Darren. Darren. 1640 01:09:03,304 --> 01:09:06,040 I always knew you wanted to fuck my wife. 1641 01:09:06,608 --> 01:09:09,544 Whoa, uh, we're there. Uh... 1642 01:09:10,778 --> 01:09:11,913 You're right. 1643 01:09:11,913 --> 01:09:13,481 Oh, God. Um... 1644 01:09:13,481 --> 01:09:15,150 Just-- just deny it at least! 1645 01:09:15,150 --> 01:09:17,519 At least deny it for appearances! 1646 01:09:17,519 --> 01:09:19,487 For crying out loud! 1647 01:09:19,487 --> 01:09:21,956 Guess what. Is this expensive? 1648 01:09:21,956 --> 01:09:23,958 Mark! Oh, my God! 1649 01:09:23,958 --> 01:09:25,760 How do you like me now? Huh? 1650 01:09:25,760 --> 01:09:26,861 -Stop it! -Huh? 1651 01:09:26,861 --> 01:09:28,997 -Really? -Yeah! Yeah, really! 1652 01:09:29,330 --> 01:09:30,398 -Shin kicks? -DARREN: Yeah. 1653 01:09:30,398 --> 01:09:32,634 -Stop it! -You know I took kung fu? 1654 01:09:32,634 --> 01:09:33,468 -Okay. -Huh? 1655 01:09:33,468 --> 01:09:35,370 -He took, like, two karate-- -[DARREN SCREAMS] 1656 01:09:35,370 --> 01:09:37,038 Oh, my God. 1657 01:09:37,605 --> 01:09:40,208 Oh, my God, Darren! Stop it! 1658 01:09:40,208 --> 01:09:41,576 He drank a Red Bull in the car. 1659 01:09:41,576 --> 01:09:43,244 He's really sensitive to caffeine. 1660 01:09:43,244 --> 01:09:45,213 -DARREN: Time out, time out! -You're gonna hurt yourself. 1661 01:09:45,213 --> 01:09:48,116 -EVA: I'm gonna pull up the car. -Oh, wow. Big man, huh? 1662 01:09:48,116 --> 01:09:50,552 -Settle down. -Big man with the restaurant 1663 01:09:50,552 --> 01:09:51,553 and the washboard face. 1664 01:09:51,553 --> 01:09:53,688 Sensei Doug would be horrified. 1665 01:09:53,688 --> 01:09:55,190 Guess what. 1666 01:09:55,190 --> 01:09:56,057 Ask her who she wants. 1667 01:09:56,057 --> 01:09:57,926 -Oh, I'm not doing that. -No, ask her who she wants. 1668 01:09:57,926 --> 01:10:00,995 -Who do you want? -I am not gonna answer that. 1669 01:10:00,995 --> 01:10:03,498 DARREN: You have to 1670 01:10:03,598 --> 01:10:05,200 choose. This... 1671 01:10:05,533 --> 01:10:07,068 or "Thor." 1672 01:10:08,970 --> 01:10:10,605 [DARREN SIGHS] 1673 01:10:11,973 --> 01:10:14,609 [MUSIC PLAYING] 1674 01:10:19,914 --> 01:10:21,816 -Hey. -Hey. [CHUCKLES] 1675 01:10:21,950 --> 01:10:25,253 You came. I'm glad you called me back. 1676 01:10:26,487 --> 01:10:27,855 I missed you. 1677 01:10:27,855 --> 01:10:30,959 -You look really beautiful. -Thank you. 1678 01:10:30,959 --> 01:10:34,362 Have you thought more about monogamy? 1679 01:10:34,429 --> 01:10:38,266 Ah, you really love that word. Can we talk about that later? 1680 01:10:38,266 --> 01:10:40,235 I mean, this is a really important party. 1681 01:10:40,235 --> 01:10:43,571 -I want to talk about it now. -[SIGHS] 1682 01:10:43,571 --> 01:10:45,173 That's... 1683 01:10:45,273 --> 01:10:46,407 Oh. 1684 01:10:46,407 --> 01:10:47,442 That's Steve Evans. 1685 01:10:47,442 --> 01:10:50,745 That's the guy that picks all the, uh, the TED speakers. 1686 01:10:50,745 --> 01:10:52,580 -[SIGHS] -I got to talk to him. 1687 01:10:52,580 --> 01:10:54,782 -Now? -Yeah, come on. 1688 01:11:00,955 --> 01:11:05,193 [CHUCKLES] Steve. Hey, how are you, man? 1689 01:11:05,193 --> 01:11:05,960 Daniel Peters, 1690 01:11:05,960 --> 01:11:08,563 -from the-- from the emails. -From the emails. 1691 01:11:08,563 --> 01:11:09,464 -Yeah! -Yeah! 1692 01:11:09,464 --> 01:11:10,965 -[CHUCKLES] Isn't that great? -Yeah. 1693 01:11:10,965 --> 01:11:14,402 We got to get together, man. You know, we've been, uh... 1694 01:11:16,104 --> 01:11:17,505 Oh, this is Candy. 1695 01:11:17,505 --> 01:11:18,406 Hi. 1696 01:11:18,406 --> 01:11:20,608 -Hey. -Is this your girlfriend? 1697 01:11:20,608 --> 01:11:21,843 -No! -Yeah. 1698 01:11:21,843 --> 01:11:22,644 I'm a free agent. 1699 01:11:22,644 --> 01:11:24,812 I'm interested in making lots of sexual connections, 1700 01:11:24,812 --> 01:11:27,515 because I can't be tied down by monogamy. 1701 01:11:27,515 --> 01:11:29,751 -[DANIEL CHUCKLES] -Really? 1702 01:11:30,351 --> 01:11:31,953 Interesting. 1703 01:11:32,020 --> 01:11:33,288 What do you do, Candy? 1704 01:11:33,288 --> 01:11:37,625 I study the significance of ritual, 1705 01:11:37,625 --> 01:11:39,193 and also I hate monogamy! 1706 01:11:39,193 --> 01:11:41,963 [CHUCKLES] Give me some casual sex, please! 1707 01:11:41,963 --> 01:11:43,564 [LAUGHING] Me, too! 1708 01:11:43,564 --> 01:11:44,966 [LAUGHING] Yeah, yeah, that's great. 1709 01:11:44,966 --> 01:11:47,835 -Yeah, that's fun. -STEVEN: Oh, Daniel, you have... 1710 01:11:47,902 --> 01:11:49,237 fascinating friends. 1711 01:11:49,237 --> 01:11:51,205 Well, she's-- It's more than a friend, 1712 01:11:51,205 --> 01:11:52,040 -so-- -Am I? 1713 01:11:52,040 --> 01:11:54,542 I would love to learn more, uh, about this. 1714 01:11:54,542 --> 01:11:56,477 Can I... Could I get your number? 1715 01:11:56,477 --> 01:11:58,579 -Sure, Steve. -Hang on a minute. 1716 01:11:58,579 --> 01:11:59,881 -Listen-- -It's good. I got my phone. 1717 01:11:59,881 --> 01:12:01,416 -I can connect you. -I got my phone. It's good. 1718 01:12:01,416 --> 01:12:03,918 DANIEL: I can probably connect you guys on an email. 1719 01:12:03,918 --> 01:12:05,119 Just type it in yourself? 1720 01:12:05,119 --> 01:12:06,954 And is it Candy with an I or a Y? 1721 01:12:06,954 --> 01:12:08,856 -With a Y. -Oh, why not? 1722 01:12:08,856 --> 01:12:12,393 Oh. Why-- why would it be with an I, you know? 1723 01:12:12,393 --> 01:12:13,628 PETER: You guys are all handsome guys. 1724 01:12:13,628 --> 01:12:15,063 You know what I'm talking about. It's the fast-paced 1725 01:12:15,063 --> 01:12:16,764 Hollywood lifestyle. You know how many girls 1726 01:12:16,764 --> 01:12:18,766 I've had sex with? 21. 1727 01:12:18,766 --> 01:12:19,767 And I'm only 35. 1728 01:12:19,767 --> 01:12:20,702 And I've eaten 12 pussies, 1729 01:12:20,702 --> 01:12:23,504 most of them on the girls I've fucked. Hey! 1730 01:12:23,638 --> 01:12:24,739 HONEY: Hey. 1731 01:12:24,739 --> 01:12:25,973 -[CLEARS THROAT] -I got your text. 1732 01:12:25,973 --> 01:12:27,909 PETER: One second, guys. I'll be right back. 1733 01:12:27,909 --> 01:12:30,411 Follow me. I got to piss out of my cock. 1734 01:12:30,411 --> 01:12:31,346 Did Linda read my script? 1735 01:12:31,346 --> 01:12:34,148 Uh, yeah, she agreed with a few things about it, 1736 01:12:34,148 --> 01:12:36,317 so, uh, I got rid of her. 1737 01:12:36,517 --> 01:12:38,019 You got rid of her? 1738 01:12:38,019 --> 01:12:39,354 Yeah. And, uh, it turns out 1739 01:12:39,354 --> 01:12:41,022 I got some new financiers for the movie, 1740 01:12:41,022 --> 01:12:43,624 so it doesn't matter what Linda thinks. 1741 01:12:44,092 --> 01:12:45,626 Oh, plus... 1742 01:12:45,626 --> 01:12:47,295 you're fired. 1743 01:12:48,496 --> 01:12:49,464 Well, great, 'cause I quit. 1744 01:12:49,464 --> 01:12:51,265 And I'm gonna write my own movie about a woman 1745 01:12:51,265 --> 01:12:54,902 having a religious orgasm. And no one stabs her in the ass. 1746 01:12:54,902 --> 01:12:57,038 First of all, you can't quit after I fire you, so... 1747 01:12:57,038 --> 01:12:59,374 A person can be smart and have big boobs. 1748 01:12:59,374 --> 01:13:01,042 And people are gonna watch my movie 1749 01:13:01,042 --> 01:13:03,211 and people are gonna love it! 1750 01:13:03,878 --> 01:13:06,447 No one respects you, big boobs. 1751 01:13:06,514 --> 01:13:07,949 Uh... 1752 01:13:08,950 --> 01:13:11,386 You know, I used to want to be you. 1753 01:13:11,452 --> 01:13:14,155 But all the success in the world doesn't make you happy, 1754 01:13:14,155 --> 01:13:15,556 does it? 1755 01:13:17,258 --> 01:13:19,994 I have friends and you don't have any friends, 1756 01:13:19,994 --> 01:13:21,596 and I'm happy. 1757 01:13:22,997 --> 01:13:25,466 Yeah, I guess, you know what, maybe I'm not so happy 1758 01:13:25,466 --> 01:13:27,034 in my life. 1759 01:13:28,436 --> 01:13:30,204 Maybe if we had sex in this bathroom, 1760 01:13:30,204 --> 01:13:31,172 I might be happy about that, 1761 01:13:31,172 --> 01:13:33,441 so why don't you get on your knees, baby? 1762 01:13:34,342 --> 01:13:35,877 Fuck you. 1763 01:13:39,614 --> 01:13:42,550 [DARREN GROANING] 1764 01:13:45,520 --> 01:13:47,355 Oh. Oh. 1765 01:13:47,688 --> 01:13:49,123 Oh, wow. 1766 01:13:50,892 --> 01:13:52,693 I'm sorry you didn't come. 1767 01:13:54,462 --> 01:13:56,464 You know what I love about you? 1768 01:13:56,931 --> 01:13:59,133 You're so comforting, you know? 1769 01:13:59,400 --> 01:14:01,102 Here's the thing... 1770 01:14:01,669 --> 01:14:03,104 Sex dies... 1771 01:14:03,104 --> 01:14:05,006 in every relationship. 1772 01:14:06,340 --> 01:14:07,842 So maybe we should be together. 1773 01:14:07,842 --> 01:14:09,277 -What? -I'm-- I'm just-- 1774 01:14:09,277 --> 01:14:11,813 I'm losing my passion for Chandra, you know? 1775 01:14:11,813 --> 01:14:12,980 -Oh. -You know, I just don't want 1776 01:14:12,980 --> 01:14:14,582 -anyone to get hurt. -Oh my God, 1777 01:14:14,582 --> 01:14:16,818 Chandra broke up with you. That's why you're here. 1778 01:14:16,818 --> 01:14:19,687 No, she's following One Direction for a while. 1779 01:14:19,687 --> 01:14:20,955 Oh, perfect! 1780 01:14:20,955 --> 01:14:23,491 -That's so perfect! -I know. 1781 01:14:23,491 --> 01:14:25,326 I'm a cliché. But... 1782 01:14:25,326 --> 01:14:28,396 the handsome guy runs off with a younger, hot, 1783 01:14:28,396 --> 01:14:31,599 sexy, fit, tight little girl, 1784 01:14:31,599 --> 01:14:32,633 and then he gets bored, 1785 01:14:32,633 --> 01:14:34,802 and he wants to come running home to mommy. 1786 01:14:34,802 --> 01:14:37,839 -EVA [SIGHS] -[MIMICS BABY] 1787 01:14:39,474 --> 01:14:40,274 Mommy? 1788 01:14:40,274 --> 01:14:41,709 Uh, I'm not your mommy, okay? 1789 01:14:41,709 --> 01:14:44,412 Okay, you don't understand. Here's the thing. 1790 01:14:44,412 --> 01:14:46,180 I'm saving... 1791 01:14:46,247 --> 01:14:47,949 my sexual energy... 1792 01:14:48,850 --> 01:14:49,550 for my art. 1793 01:14:49,550 --> 01:14:50,918 Here's the thing. Here's the thing. 1794 01:14:50,918 --> 01:14:53,120 I think maybe sex doesn't die for everyone. 1795 01:14:53,120 --> 01:14:55,857 It just has died for you and your weird dick. 1796 01:14:55,857 --> 01:14:57,625 -And Mark couldn't wait... -Stop it. Stop it. 1797 01:14:57,625 --> 01:14:59,961 ...to go down on me. He fucking loved going down, 1798 01:14:59,961 --> 01:15:01,162 -and I loved it! -Oh, stop. Ew. Ew. Ew. 1799 01:15:01,162 --> 01:15:03,631 -Oh, no, see, that says it all. -First of all, ew. 1800 01:15:03,631 --> 01:15:05,466 -"Ew." -Ew. Ew. 1801 01:15:05,466 --> 01:15:06,634 You asked him to go down on you. 1802 01:15:06,634 --> 01:15:10,071 No, I didn't ask him! He asked me! He begged me! 1803 01:15:10,071 --> 01:15:10,972 -Oh, my God. -Mm-hmm. 1804 01:15:10,972 --> 01:15:12,707 -What an asshole. -That's what he said. 1805 01:15:12,707 --> 01:15:13,875 -Stop. That's not-- Stop it. -He did. 1806 01:15:13,875 --> 01:15:16,444 He said I had a beautiful butthole. Ha-ha! 1807 01:15:16,444 --> 01:15:17,211 [MOANING] 1808 01:15:17,211 --> 01:15:21,082 -You want a line? -No, thanks. I'm fine. 1809 01:15:23,184 --> 01:15:25,653 Oh! [SIGHS] 1810 01:15:29,657 --> 01:15:31,659 Are you a drug addict? 1811 01:15:32,493 --> 01:15:34,228 Why would you ask that? 1812 01:15:34,495 --> 01:15:36,030 No reason. 1813 01:15:37,565 --> 01:15:40,801 No. Look, that's just a piece of art, yeah? 1814 01:15:40,801 --> 01:15:43,938 It's a piece of art about a feeling, you know? 1815 01:15:43,938 --> 01:15:47,008 Just a feeling some people make me feel. 1816 01:15:47,441 --> 01:15:48,809 So there's a lot of other people 1817 01:15:48,809 --> 01:15:49,777 who think you're a drug addict? 1818 01:15:49,777 --> 01:15:53,214 No. No, I just like to party and have a good time is all, 1819 01:15:53,214 --> 01:15:53,814 yeah? 1820 01:15:53,814 --> 01:15:55,416 Who else thinks you're a drug addict? 1821 01:15:55,416 --> 01:15:59,487 [GROANS] Look, just my stupid family. 1822 01:15:59,487 --> 01:16:00,187 Your family? 1823 01:16:00,187 --> 01:16:01,889 Yeah, look, just 'cause they give me money, 1824 01:16:01,889 --> 01:16:05,626 it makes them think they got the right to judge me, yeah? 1825 01:16:05,927 --> 01:16:08,129 But come on. Let's get some food. 1826 01:16:08,129 --> 01:16:11,198 Why does your family think you're a drug addict? 1827 01:16:11,799 --> 01:16:12,967 [SCOFFS] 1828 01:16:12,967 --> 01:16:14,502 I'm Freedom, yeah? 1829 01:16:14,502 --> 01:16:17,271 I'm free from family shackles. 1830 01:16:18,439 --> 01:16:19,974 Stop doing drugs. 1831 01:16:19,974 --> 01:16:21,642 I'll help you. 1832 01:16:25,379 --> 01:16:26,981 I love you. 1833 01:16:29,183 --> 01:16:32,053 Yeah, I-- I love you so much. 1834 01:16:32,520 --> 01:16:34,322 And I've been thinking, yeah? I-- 1835 01:16:34,322 --> 01:16:36,724 I've got to get out of this city for a while... 1836 01:16:36,724 --> 01:16:40,361 'cause sometimes a man, he needs to go on walkabout. 1837 01:16:40,361 --> 01:16:42,496 I've got these big mountains to climb, yeah? 1838 01:16:42,496 --> 01:16:46,033 A man, he needs to be able to climb his mountains, yeah? 1839 01:16:46,300 --> 01:16:47,101 Do you understand? 1840 01:16:47,101 --> 01:16:49,170 Not really. Are you talking about real mountains, or-- 1841 01:16:49,170 --> 01:16:52,473 I'm talking about the mountains that only a real man can climb, 1842 01:16:52,473 --> 01:16:54,909 yeah? 'Cause that's-- that's me. 1843 01:16:55,042 --> 01:16:56,577 I'm a man. 1844 01:16:58,012 --> 01:16:59,513 Can I come with you? 1845 01:16:59,513 --> 01:17:00,314 No. 1846 01:17:00,314 --> 01:17:03,484 No, I've got wars to fight. Do you see? 1847 01:17:04,485 --> 01:17:06,654 Hey, maybe we'll reunite, yeah? 1848 01:17:06,721 --> 01:17:08,289 In, like, five years. 1849 01:17:08,289 --> 01:17:09,690 Five years? 1850 01:17:09,690 --> 01:17:11,192 Yeah. 1851 01:17:11,792 --> 01:17:13,628 Come on, look in my eyes. 1852 01:17:14,595 --> 01:17:16,364 What am I thinking? 1853 01:17:17,365 --> 01:17:18,366 I don't know. 1854 01:17:18,366 --> 01:17:21,268 Can two people ever really be together? 1855 01:17:21,602 --> 01:17:24,472 And once they're together, can they ever really be apart? 1856 01:17:24,472 --> 01:17:26,173 These feelings... 1857 01:17:26,474 --> 01:17:28,976 they'll always exist inside us. 1858 01:17:30,945 --> 01:17:33,714 Maybe I'll come back for you one day. 1859 01:17:34,248 --> 01:17:35,950 But maybe not. 1860 01:17:36,584 --> 01:17:38,052 And remember... 1861 01:17:38,052 --> 01:17:40,621 I left you better than I found you. 1862 01:17:45,860 --> 01:17:48,095 CANDY: "I left you better than I found you"? 1863 01:17:48,095 --> 01:17:50,431 HONEY: And then he went off to climb mountains. 1864 01:17:50,431 --> 01:17:52,199 Probably mountains of cocaine. 1865 01:17:52,199 --> 01:17:54,969 How can I have the amazing sex again? 1866 01:17:54,969 --> 01:17:56,570 I think he was the one. 1867 01:17:56,570 --> 01:17:59,440 EVA: No, he's not the one. You're the one. 1868 01:17:59,440 --> 01:18:02,410 You're the only one that matters. 1869 01:18:02,510 --> 01:18:04,278 These candles are dangerous. 1870 01:18:04,278 --> 01:18:05,112 And they don't work! 1871 01:18:05,112 --> 01:18:07,682 Let's do a spell for the power to make our dreams come true. 1872 01:18:07,682 --> 01:18:10,551 We don't have power. We have low self-esteem. 1873 01:18:10,551 --> 01:18:11,852 Okay, don't say that. 1874 01:18:11,852 --> 01:18:14,321 -[YELLING] Ah! The candles! -Stop it. 1875 01:18:14,321 --> 01:18:17,324 Only a stupid idiot would believe in a magic candle. 1876 01:18:17,324 --> 01:18:18,125 I believe in them. 1877 01:18:18,125 --> 01:18:19,493 That's 'cause you live in a fantasy world. 1878 01:18:19,493 --> 01:18:20,661 -What is going on? -HONEY: Look, 1879 01:18:20,661 --> 01:18:22,129 I paid a lot of money for your candles 1880 01:18:22,129 --> 01:18:24,565 and I'm gonna sue you for false advertising! 1881 01:18:24,565 --> 01:18:25,766 I bought them from a candle emporium. 1882 01:18:25,766 --> 01:18:27,835 -They're not magic. -I hate the candles! 1883 01:18:27,835 --> 01:18:29,003 -No! -Whoa, calm down! 1884 01:18:29,003 --> 01:18:30,538 You guys all have your periods, right? That's-- 1885 01:18:30,538 --> 01:18:32,506 The candles suck! All right, you know, 1886 01:18:32,506 --> 01:18:34,508 this is your friend. You are fired. 1887 01:18:34,508 --> 01:18:36,377 Oh! I quit! 1888 01:18:36,544 --> 01:18:37,945 She's not my friend! 1889 01:18:37,945 --> 01:18:39,246 'Cause I'm not friends with people 1890 01:18:39,246 --> 01:18:41,515 that think I'm stupid. [SOBBING] 1891 01:18:42,550 --> 01:18:44,919 And we're not on our periods! 1892 01:18:46,921 --> 01:18:50,224 I mean, to be fair, I am on my period. 1893 01:18:50,224 --> 01:18:52,727 It's towards the end of my cycle. 1894 01:18:53,461 --> 01:18:55,796 It's only a matter of time for the rest of them, right? 1895 01:18:55,796 --> 01:18:57,798 -Would you just stop? -Okay. 1896 01:18:57,798 --> 01:19:00,234 [MUSIC PLAYING] 1897 01:19:29,396 --> 01:19:31,932 -[SNIFFLING] -You okay? 1898 01:19:32,032 --> 01:19:34,668 -Not really. -You know what? 1899 01:19:35,236 --> 01:19:36,971 Screw this place. 1900 01:19:40,040 --> 01:19:41,475 Hey. 1901 01:19:41,909 --> 01:19:45,746 Working with you has been the best part of my job. 1902 01:19:47,748 --> 01:19:48,883 You know, I wanted to be the voice 1903 01:19:48,883 --> 01:19:52,620 of modern feminism, but I'm a loser. 1904 01:19:52,686 --> 01:19:53,254 And I... 1905 01:19:53,254 --> 01:19:54,855 don't think my friends will ever talk to me again, 1906 01:19:54,855 --> 01:19:55,890 'cause I took a big crap on them 1907 01:19:55,890 --> 01:19:58,292 and then I crapped in front of them. 1908 01:19:59,126 --> 01:20:00,294 I took an emotional shit. 1909 01:20:00,294 --> 01:20:04,031 Everything's gonna be okay. I believe in you, yo. 1910 01:20:04,031 --> 01:20:06,667 And you do have a feminist voice. 1911 01:20:06,667 --> 01:20:08,169 You're the full package. 1912 01:20:08,169 --> 01:20:11,172 I think you're a package and a half. 1913 01:20:11,172 --> 01:20:12,973 -I'm a package and a half? -Yeah. 1914 01:20:12,973 --> 01:20:15,810 I'd even go so far as saying you're two packages. 1915 01:20:15,810 --> 01:20:18,312 That's the nicest thing that anyone's ever said to me. 1916 01:20:18,312 --> 01:20:20,848 That's the nicest thing I've ever said. 1917 01:20:22,516 --> 01:20:23,951 Huh. 1918 01:20:31,458 --> 01:20:33,494 [DOOR KNOCKING] 1919 01:20:36,664 --> 01:20:37,331 [SCREAMS] 1920 01:20:37,331 --> 01:20:38,966 HONEY: Hello. I'm looking for the special unicorn lady 1921 01:20:38,966 --> 01:20:42,136 who lives in this apartment and is very magical. 1922 01:20:42,136 --> 01:20:44,305 Oh. Leave me alone. 1923 01:20:44,305 --> 01:20:46,707 I'm living in my fantasy world. 1924 01:20:47,241 --> 01:20:49,043 I'm sorry I was a jerk. 1925 01:20:49,176 --> 01:20:50,945 I really miss you. 1926 01:20:53,514 --> 01:20:54,982 Wow. 1927 01:20:55,249 --> 01:20:58,052 I can't believe you did this. Thanks. 1928 01:20:58,052 --> 01:20:59,420 Don't thank me. It's the candles. 1929 01:20:59,420 --> 01:21:01,255 -They really work. -Stop making fun of me. 1930 01:21:01,255 --> 01:21:05,726 I'm not. My life was depressing without your magic spells. 1931 01:21:05,793 --> 01:21:07,027 Thank you. It's true. 1932 01:21:07,027 --> 01:21:08,596 Listen, I have a great idea. 1933 01:21:08,596 --> 01:21:12,199 [EVA SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE] 1934 01:21:14,535 --> 01:21:17,905 All right, the factory in Jakarta's running behind. 1935 01:21:18,272 --> 01:21:19,373 [SIGHS] 1936 01:21:19,373 --> 01:21:20,541 Can we sell the magical candles 1937 01:21:20,541 --> 01:21:22,076 in your store and use the profits 1938 01:21:22,076 --> 01:21:22,910 to pay Candy's rent? 1939 01:21:22,910 --> 01:21:26,780 I don't know. Maybe I have too much low self-esteem. 1940 01:21:27,014 --> 01:21:28,782 I'm sorry that I projectile-vomited 1941 01:21:28,782 --> 01:21:29,750 my low self-esteem onto you, 1942 01:21:29,750 --> 01:21:32,519 and I promise to swallow it back down next time. 1943 01:21:32,519 --> 01:21:33,654 Ew. 1944 01:21:33,654 --> 01:21:35,422 That is the grossest analogy. 1945 01:21:35,422 --> 01:21:40,427 -Yes, you can sell candles here. -Thank you. 1946 01:21:40,961 --> 01:21:43,197 You guys look really cute. 1947 01:21:43,197 --> 01:21:44,632 -We're witches. -Oh! 1948 01:21:44,632 --> 01:21:46,734 I thought you were, like, mean cowgirls. 1949 01:21:46,734 --> 01:21:48,269 Witches. It's better. It's better. 1950 01:21:48,269 --> 01:21:50,404 Come see. We'll set up over here. 1951 01:21:51,839 --> 01:21:53,173 CANDY: A lot of people are gonna tell you 1952 01:21:53,173 --> 01:21:54,375 you can't do things in your life, 1953 01:21:54,375 --> 01:21:56,277 and I'm here to tell you that you can. 1954 01:21:56,277 --> 01:21:57,811 Believe in yourself. 1955 01:21:57,811 --> 01:22:01,248 And remember how amazing you really are. 1956 01:22:04,518 --> 01:22:06,587 Oh! We sold so many. 1957 01:22:06,587 --> 01:22:08,555 Wow, witches are, like, the new vampires. 1958 01:22:08,555 --> 01:22:11,926 It's shocking how many people are buying these things. 1959 01:22:11,926 --> 01:22:14,828 The two children's dresses we made came in. 1960 01:22:14,828 --> 01:22:16,997 What do you want to do with them? 1961 01:22:16,997 --> 01:22:18,365 Oh. [SIGHS] 1962 01:22:18,365 --> 01:22:19,800 What's happening with Mark? 1963 01:22:19,800 --> 01:22:22,202 We broke up. I forgot the good-guy pact 1964 01:22:22,202 --> 01:22:25,873 and I chose Darren. And I really regret it. 1965 01:22:25,873 --> 01:22:27,041 You gotta give those little girls 1966 01:22:27,041 --> 01:22:28,475 -their dresses. -EVA: I'm pretty sure 1967 01:22:28,475 --> 01:22:31,245 he never wants to see me again. 1968 01:22:32,613 --> 01:22:35,082 Fine. What do you think? Maybe not, right? 1969 01:22:35,082 --> 01:22:37,017 -[CHILDREN LAUGHING] -Oh, my God! 1970 01:22:37,017 --> 01:22:39,086 That look. Jeez. 1971 01:22:39,086 --> 01:22:40,955 All right. Okay. 1972 01:22:47,328 --> 01:22:49,964 He didn't come, so there you go. 1973 01:22:50,431 --> 01:22:51,298 Not home, right? 1974 01:22:51,298 --> 01:22:53,300 -[DOOR OPENING] -Oh, God. 1975 01:22:54,001 --> 01:22:56,603 Uh, hi. How are you? Um... 1976 01:22:57,538 --> 01:23:01,342 I know you probably don't want to see me. Um... 1977 01:23:01,342 --> 01:23:04,144 I made dresses for your daughters. 1978 01:23:05,546 --> 01:23:07,114 Nice. Thank you. 1979 01:23:08,415 --> 01:23:09,683 I'm sorry. 1980 01:23:09,683 --> 01:23:12,553 I'm so sorry I sabotaged our relationship. 1981 01:23:12,553 --> 01:23:15,356 And I'm sorry I treated you so badly 1982 01:23:15,356 --> 01:23:19,026 when you're just, like, the greatest guy. 1983 01:23:19,426 --> 01:23:21,662 Thanks for saying that, but, uh... 1984 01:23:21,662 --> 01:23:24,732 I don't think we should see each other anymore. 1985 01:23:27,868 --> 01:23:28,469 Um... 1986 01:23:28,469 --> 01:23:31,138 for what it's worth, I broke up with Darren... 1987 01:23:31,205 --> 01:23:32,706 for good. 1988 01:23:33,407 --> 01:23:34,641 Just... 1989 01:23:34,641 --> 01:23:37,077 I don't think I liked myself enough 1990 01:23:37,077 --> 01:23:39,179 to choose a good guy. 1991 01:23:39,947 --> 01:23:42,049 I didn't think I deserved it. 1992 01:23:42,049 --> 01:23:42,950 MARY: Eva! 1993 01:23:42,950 --> 01:23:45,019 -Hey, sweetie! -Hey, Eva. 1994 01:23:45,019 --> 01:23:45,953 I made you dresses. 1995 01:23:45,953 --> 01:23:49,490 Yay! Come in! Evie, Evie, Evie! 1996 01:23:54,261 --> 01:23:55,896 [WHISPERING] Yes! 1997 01:23:56,830 --> 01:24:00,968 I like the dress. I'm having an orgasm. 1998 01:24:00,968 --> 01:24:04,705 [MUSIC PLAYING] 1999 01:24:07,674 --> 01:24:10,611 ♪ I feel it ♪ 2000 01:24:11,745 --> 01:24:15,249 ♪ I feel it ♪ 2001 01:24:15,516 --> 01:24:19,119 ♪ I feel it ♪ 2002 01:24:19,119 --> 01:24:22,923 ♪ I feel love ♪ 2003 01:24:23,991 --> 01:24:26,427 EVA: Who knew getting a divorce could be so great? 2004 01:24:26,427 --> 01:24:29,096 -CANDY: Yeah. -What's going on with Daniel? 2005 01:24:29,096 --> 01:24:32,499 Nothing! That's why we need a super-powerful spell. 2006 01:24:32,499 --> 01:24:35,302 I think we should call on all the elements to help us. 2007 01:24:35,302 --> 01:24:36,670 -Honey, are you in? -I'm so in. 2008 01:24:36,670 --> 01:24:38,372 In fact, I'm gonna call on the elements. 2009 01:24:38,372 --> 01:24:39,606 What are the elements? 2010 01:24:39,606 --> 01:24:41,208 -[LAUGHING] -Uh, Earth. 2011 01:24:41,208 --> 01:24:43,577 Okay, Earth. Earth. Okay. 2012 01:24:43,577 --> 01:24:44,945 I am going to-- I don't know, 2013 01:24:44,945 --> 01:24:48,582 I'm going to call on the Earth and-- Is that really dorky? 2014 01:24:48,582 --> 01:24:49,817 -No, no, no! -No, it's amazing! 2015 01:24:49,817 --> 01:24:52,553 -I'm gonna walk on it. Why not? -CANDY: Okay. 2016 01:24:52,553 --> 01:24:54,421 CANDY: What's up, earth? [LAUGHING] 2017 01:24:54,421 --> 01:24:55,622 HONEY: Okay, what's another element? 2018 01:24:55,622 --> 01:24:58,592 -Uh, wind. -Okay, what about... 2019 01:25:00,694 --> 01:25:03,363 -Would incense count? -Yeah! 2020 01:25:03,464 --> 01:25:05,999 -Sure. -All right. Um... 2021 01:25:05,999 --> 01:25:07,468 we call on the wind. 2022 01:25:07,468 --> 01:25:10,971 [WIND BLOWING] 2023 01:25:10,971 --> 01:25:13,474 -Am I imagining that? -No. 2024 01:25:13,474 --> 01:25:16,043 -Wow, so cool! -So cool! 2025 01:25:16,043 --> 01:25:20,214 Okay, what about water? Here. Drink your drinks. 2026 01:25:23,984 --> 01:25:25,752 I call on water! 2027 01:25:25,752 --> 01:25:28,922 [THUNDER RUMBLING] 2028 01:25:28,922 --> 01:25:30,924 [SQUEALING] 2029 01:25:30,924 --> 01:25:32,960 Guys, we made it rain. 2030 01:25:33,494 --> 01:25:35,496 CANDY: Candles are fire. 2031 01:25:35,929 --> 01:25:37,798 Purple for power. 2032 01:25:37,798 --> 01:25:39,800 The power to get what we want. 2033 01:25:41,068 --> 01:25:42,703 Say your wishes. 2034 01:25:42,769 --> 01:25:44,538 I wish to like myself. 2035 01:25:44,538 --> 01:25:47,174 -So mote it be. -So mote it be. 2036 01:25:47,808 --> 01:25:52,012 I wish to know that I deserve the good things in life. 2037 01:25:52,012 --> 01:25:54,114 ALL: So mote it be. 2038 01:25:56,850 --> 01:25:58,385 I wish for love... 2039 01:25:58,385 --> 01:25:59,887 -and money. -[HONEY CHUCKLES] 2040 01:25:59,887 --> 01:26:02,055 -So mote it be. -So mote it be. 2041 01:26:02,289 --> 01:26:06,360 We ask the elements to help us with our hearts' desires. 2042 01:26:07,060 --> 01:26:08,529 This... 2043 01:26:08,829 --> 01:26:10,564 or something better. 2044 01:26:10,631 --> 01:26:14,935 ♪ All I could ever need Is you ♪ 2045 01:26:14,935 --> 01:26:16,703 [CANDY LAUGHING] 2046 01:26:16,703 --> 01:26:20,641 If you believe in magic, then there's magic! 2047 01:26:22,709 --> 01:26:24,044 [CHEERING] 2048 01:26:24,044 --> 01:26:27,414 [LAUGHING] 2049 01:26:28,215 --> 01:26:30,150 It's raining so hard! 2050 01:26:30,150 --> 01:26:32,686 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 2051 01:26:32,953 --> 01:26:34,988 HONEY: "To truly experience ecstatic sex, 2052 01:26:34,988 --> 01:26:37,024 you must first fall in love with yourself. 2053 01:26:37,024 --> 01:26:41,028 Look at yourself in a mirror and say, 'I love you.' " 2054 01:26:43,030 --> 01:26:44,831 [SIGHS] 2055 01:26:46,967 --> 01:26:48,502 I love you. 2056 01:26:50,971 --> 01:26:52,573 I love you. 2057 01:26:54,241 --> 01:26:55,642 Well... 2058 01:26:56,977 --> 01:26:58,812 "Now look at your yoni in a mirror 2059 01:26:58,812 --> 01:27:01,682 and admire its tremendous beauty." 2060 01:27:07,754 --> 01:27:09,389 I love you. 2061 01:27:09,790 --> 01:27:13,760 "Discover what kind of pressure you like. Play music." 2062 01:27:21,535 --> 01:27:23,870 ♪ I pull up to the club ♪ 2063 01:27:23,870 --> 01:27:25,772 ♪ I got my swag on ♪ 2064 01:27:25,772 --> 01:27:27,641 ♪ The music's playing loud ♪ 2065 01:27:27,641 --> 01:27:29,776 ♪ Can't play their money y'all ♪ 2066 01:27:29,776 --> 01:27:32,079 ♪ I see 'em lookin' at me ♪ 2067 01:27:32,079 --> 01:27:34,047 ♪ She got a pretty smile ♪ 2068 01:27:34,047 --> 01:27:36,683 ♪ So I'm-a get a drink ♪ 2069 01:27:36,683 --> 01:27:39,920 [SOFT MUSIC PLAYING] 2070 01:27:43,757 --> 01:27:45,058 Mm. Okay. 2071 01:27:45,058 --> 01:27:49,062 [GROOVY MUSIC PLAYING] 2072 01:27:49,062 --> 01:27:50,897 ♪ Come on ♪ 2073 01:27:53,967 --> 01:27:56,703 Hell! Hell! Hell! 2074 01:27:56,703 --> 01:27:59,306 And hell! 2075 01:27:59,306 --> 01:27:59,973 Shut up. 2076 01:27:59,973 --> 01:28:01,174 ♪ Girl I want ya ♪ 2077 01:28:01,174 --> 01:28:03,577 ♪ There's no way... ♪ 2078 01:28:06,280 --> 01:28:10,083 -Can you take your shirt off? -Don't. Please. Please don't. 2079 01:28:10,083 --> 01:28:11,985 Can I just leave it on? 2080 01:28:12,052 --> 01:28:13,854 Can I-- Okay. 2081 01:28:15,656 --> 01:28:17,157 Um... 2082 01:28:20,060 --> 01:28:20,727 I just... 2083 01:28:20,727 --> 01:28:23,797 I don't want you to be disappointed. 2084 01:28:25,399 --> 01:28:28,368 Why don't you let me be the judge of that? 2085 01:28:36,610 --> 01:28:39,579 [SOFT MUSIC PLAYING] 2086 01:28:49,523 --> 01:28:51,525 [SIGHS] 2087 01:28:52,859 --> 01:28:56,830 You are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. 2088 01:29:04,271 --> 01:29:06,306 [EVE LAUGHING] 2089 01:29:07,541 --> 01:29:10,010 -[SIGHS] -WOMAN: See ya, Jane. 2090 01:29:11,545 --> 01:29:12,312 -Hi. -Hi. 2091 01:29:12,312 --> 01:29:14,047 Can I talk to you for a second? 2092 01:29:14,047 --> 01:29:14,881 -Okay. -Um, 2093 01:29:14,881 --> 01:29:16,483 I'm the old assistant who likes sluts. 2094 01:29:16,483 --> 01:29:18,352 I know who you are. I liked your script. 2095 01:29:18,352 --> 01:29:21,988 Thank you. So I'm not working for Peter anymore. 2096 01:29:21,988 --> 01:29:22,856 Good. He's a dick. 2097 01:29:22,856 --> 01:29:25,892 Yeah. And I wrote a new script and I wanted to pitch it to you 2098 01:29:25,892 --> 01:29:27,694 and I was hoping you would read it. 2099 01:29:27,694 --> 01:29:28,729 How did you find me? 2100 01:29:28,729 --> 01:29:31,431 Well, I, uh... I stole Peter's contacts. 2101 01:29:31,431 --> 01:29:34,434 -Oh, very sneaky. I like that. -I'm sneaky. 2102 01:29:34,434 --> 01:29:36,236 -Mm-hmm. -I want to be a filmmaker. 2103 01:29:36,236 --> 01:29:37,904 Really? Have you directed before? 2104 01:29:37,904 --> 01:29:40,440 -No, just a short. -Hmm. Well, okay. 2105 01:29:40,440 --> 01:29:43,477 You can walk me to my car. I'll give you five minutes. 2106 01:29:43,477 --> 01:29:44,945 Okay! 2107 01:29:49,716 --> 01:29:51,551 Are you dating Steve? 2108 01:29:52,252 --> 01:29:54,221 What? No. 2109 01:29:58,125 --> 01:30:00,827 -Let's be monogamous. -Oh! 2110 01:30:00,827 --> 01:30:02,195 Let's be monogamous right now! 2111 01:30:02,195 --> 01:30:03,964 -Yeah! -Yeah! 2112 01:30:04,865 --> 01:30:06,900 -CANDY: Oh! -Ow. 2113 01:30:08,535 --> 01:30:09,102 Mm-hmm! 2114 01:30:09,102 --> 01:30:11,138 I am going to get the biggest Cosmo they got. 2115 01:30:11,138 --> 01:30:13,106 -Make it a double. -Oh, I just love your boots. 2116 01:30:13,106 --> 01:30:15,809 -They're gorgeous. -Right? I know. Right? 2117 01:30:16,076 --> 01:30:18,211 -Excuse me. -Yes? 2118 01:30:18,211 --> 01:30:21,548 Are you the priest from St. Francis of Assisi? 2119 01:30:21,615 --> 01:30:23,550 Yes, I used to be. 2120 01:30:23,550 --> 01:30:26,653 I used to go to your church when I was a kid. 2121 01:30:27,120 --> 01:30:28,555 Oh! 2122 01:30:28,555 --> 01:30:30,457 -Well. -Yeah. 2123 01:30:30,457 --> 01:30:31,925 Hmm. 2124 01:30:32,659 --> 01:30:34,728 Didn't you used to preach that no one should have sex 2125 01:30:34,728 --> 01:30:36,863 unless it was for the purpose of procreation? 2126 01:30:36,863 --> 01:30:38,632 Oh, I used to say a lot of stuff. 2127 01:30:38,632 --> 01:30:40,534 -FRANK: Mm-hmm. -Now I just do what feels good. 2128 01:30:40,534 --> 01:30:43,570 -And what feels good is Frank. -Mm-hmm! 2129 01:30:43,570 --> 01:30:45,839 Excuse me. But-- but what about people 2130 01:30:45,839 --> 01:30:46,840 who listened to what you said 2131 01:30:46,840 --> 01:30:49,075 and then they spent their lives feeling tormented? 2132 01:30:49,075 --> 01:30:50,777 And what about hell? 2133 01:30:51,745 --> 01:30:53,246 Sorry? 2134 01:30:57,617 --> 01:30:59,019 Don't torment yourself. 2135 01:30:59,019 --> 01:31:01,988 I think God wants us to be happy. 2136 01:31:05,325 --> 01:31:08,662 -So uncomfortable. -Right? I know. 2137 01:31:10,597 --> 01:31:13,567 I know you're gonna talk at TED one day. 2138 01:31:13,567 --> 01:31:15,435 You are so great. 2139 01:31:15,435 --> 01:31:16,770 I love you. 2140 01:31:16,770 --> 01:31:19,606 I love you. Thank you. 2141 01:31:21,908 --> 01:31:24,511 You know, Honey got me that unicorn. 2142 01:31:24,511 --> 01:31:26,279 It's so cute! 2143 01:31:26,580 --> 01:31:28,448 Unicorns are lame. 2144 01:31:31,618 --> 01:31:33,520 You don't like unicorns? 2145 01:31:34,488 --> 01:31:36,323 -Eh. -What? 2146 01:31:36,323 --> 01:31:38,492 I-- I just... 2147 01:31:38,492 --> 01:31:40,694 I'm not crazy about 'em. 2148 01:31:40,760 --> 01:31:43,697 How can you not like unicorns? 2149 01:31:44,130 --> 01:31:46,132 I-- I think they're creepy. 2150 01:31:46,132 --> 01:31:47,367 -Creepy? -Yes, 2151 01:31:47,367 --> 01:31:50,103 especially when they're looking over the bed. 2152 01:31:50,103 --> 01:31:52,205 Look, a human interacting with a computer 2153 01:31:52,205 --> 01:31:54,908 is interesting, you know? But when a human interacts 2154 01:31:54,908 --> 01:31:56,710 with a unicorn... 2155 01:31:57,544 --> 01:32:01,114 -not as much, okay? -Unicorns are interesting. 2156 01:32:01,114 --> 01:32:03,216 I just... I think you're a beautiful, 2157 01:32:03,216 --> 01:32:04,150 lovely, attractive woman. 2158 01:32:04,150 --> 01:32:07,053 I think you should just limit how much you talk about unicorns 2159 01:32:07,053 --> 01:32:08,221 in front of people, okay? 2160 01:32:08,221 --> 01:32:09,789 I just don't want you to be uncomfortable 2161 01:32:09,789 --> 01:32:11,057 when you meet the TED people. 2162 01:32:11,057 --> 01:32:13,994 So maybe not, you know, don't talk about them too much 2163 01:32:13,994 --> 01:32:15,729 in front of everyone. 2164 01:32:20,500 --> 01:32:21,768 Huh. 2165 01:32:22,702 --> 01:32:25,572 I want to be monogamous, but not with you. 2166 01:32:26,706 --> 01:32:29,609 -What? -I want to date other people. 2167 01:32:30,477 --> 01:32:32,045 Are-- are you kidding? 2168 01:32:32,812 --> 01:32:34,447 I'm a unicorn. 2169 01:32:34,915 --> 01:32:36,449 What? I... 2170 01:32:36,716 --> 01:32:37,651 What are you saying? 2171 01:32:37,651 --> 01:32:41,454 You don't like unicorns, and that's a deal breaker. 2172 01:32:43,390 --> 01:32:45,158 Let's be friends. 2173 01:32:56,970 --> 01:32:59,406 [SOFT MUSIC PLAYING] 2174 01:33:00,840 --> 01:33:03,209 ♪ Ooh ♪ 2175 01:33:06,546 --> 01:33:09,215 ♪ That feels ♪ 2176 01:33:10,350 --> 01:33:12,552 ♪ Inside ♪ 2177 01:33:12,819 --> 01:33:14,421 [SIGHS] 2178 01:33:14,688 --> 01:33:18,124 ♪ All I ever want ♪ 2179 01:33:18,425 --> 01:33:21,928 ♪ All I could ever need ♪ 2180 01:33:21,928 --> 01:33:26,866 ♪ You and I ♪ 2181 01:33:29,302 --> 01:33:34,074 ♪ You and I ♪ 2182 01:33:34,641 --> 01:33:36,343 WOMAN: You are loved. 2183 01:33:36,343 --> 01:33:40,280 This feeling is always inside of you. 2184 01:33:40,280 --> 01:33:43,717 ♪ And all I could ever see ♪ 2185 01:33:43,717 --> 01:33:46,920 ♪ All I could ever want ♪ 2186 01:33:46,920 --> 01:33:51,458 ♪ All I could ever need Is you ♪ 2187 01:34:05,271 --> 01:34:08,041 Hey. 2188 01:34:08,108 --> 01:34:08,975 What are you doing here? 2189 01:34:08,975 --> 01:34:12,045 Um, I wrote the script about the witches. 2190 01:34:12,045 --> 01:34:13,913 -Honey, that's incredible. -[HONEY GIGGLES] 2191 01:34:13,913 --> 01:34:16,916 -Wow, that's great. -[HONEY CHUCKLES] 2192 01:34:16,916 --> 01:34:19,319 How-- how did you know where I live? 2193 01:34:19,319 --> 01:34:21,855 I stole Peter's contacts, yo. [CHUCKLES] 2194 01:34:21,855 --> 01:34:24,124 You know, you're really nice to me. 2195 01:34:24,791 --> 01:34:26,626 And nice is sexy. 2196 01:34:26,893 --> 01:34:27,694 Nice is sexy, yo. 2197 01:34:27,694 --> 01:34:29,796 ♪ I learned this 'cause I've been nicer to myself ♪ 2198 01:34:29,796 --> 01:34:32,899 ♪ And now I see it See I'm like a little tree ♪ 2199 01:34:32,899 --> 01:34:34,200 ♪ I need to nurture myself ♪ 2200 01:34:34,200 --> 01:34:36,302 ♪ With some happy Little thoughts ♪ 2201 01:34:36,302 --> 01:34:38,004 ♪ And that's what I did yo ♪ 2202 01:34:38,004 --> 01:34:39,639 Da-da-dum, blossom. 2203 01:34:39,639 --> 01:34:40,573 [CHUCKLES] 2204 01:34:40,573 --> 01:34:42,575 Do you want to go on a date? 2205 01:34:43,276 --> 01:34:46,212 -More than ever. -[CHUCKLES] 2206 01:34:47,547 --> 01:34:49,049 [GASPS] Ta-dah! 2207 01:34:49,049 --> 01:34:51,484 -Aw! -We're so proud of you. 2208 01:34:51,484 --> 01:34:52,419 Yeah! 2209 01:34:52,419 --> 01:34:53,920 You're the orgasming champion! 2210 01:34:53,920 --> 01:34:56,156 -HONEY: Oh, thank you. -And the masturbating champion! 2211 01:34:56,156 --> 01:34:58,491 I'm not sure who I was competing against, 2212 01:34:58,491 --> 01:35:00,026 but I'm glad I won! 2213 01:35:00,026 --> 01:35:02,195 I want to light a candle for our friendship, 2214 01:35:02,195 --> 01:35:04,631 'cause I'm really grateful for you guys. 2215 01:35:04,631 --> 01:35:06,733 [SOFT MUSIC PLAYING] 2216 01:35:07,000 --> 01:35:08,668 [LIGHTER FLICKER] 2217 01:35:13,640 --> 01:35:16,810 I heard this music and it made me think of you. 2218 01:35:18,278 --> 01:35:21,881 [TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING] 2219 01:35:24,284 --> 01:35:28,655 ♪ Just for once don't you Wanna know that magic is real ♪ 2220 01:35:28,655 --> 01:35:30,990 ♪ Is real is real is real ♪ 2221 01:35:30,990 --> 01:35:35,195 ♪ Just for once don't you Wanna know that magic is real ♪ 2222 01:35:35,195 --> 01:35:37,430 ♪ Is real is real is real ♪ 2223 01:35:37,430 --> 01:35:41,868 ♪ Just for once don't you Wanna know that magic is real ♪ 2224 01:35:41,868 --> 01:35:44,270 ♪ Is real is real is real ♪ 2225 01:35:44,270 --> 01:35:48,475 ♪ Just for once don't you Wanna know that magic is real ♪ 2226 01:35:48,475 --> 01:35:51,010 ♪ Is real is real is real ♪ 2227 01:35:51,010 --> 01:35:54,114 ♪ A kiss good night A kiss by darkness ♪ 2228 01:35:54,114 --> 01:35:57,050 ♪ A kiss to all the end Of rain ♪ 2229 01:35:57,050 --> 01:36:00,386 ♪ To stall this night To stall this darkness ♪ 2230 01:36:00,386 --> 01:36:03,823 ♪ To stall this night To the end of days ♪ 2231 01:36:03,823 --> 01:36:07,994 ♪ Just for once don't you Wanna know that magic is real ♪ 2232 01:36:07,994 --> 01:36:10,463 Cut! [CHEERING] 2233 01:36:10,730 --> 01:36:14,300 ♪ Don't you wanna know That magic is real ♪ 2234 01:36:14,300 --> 01:36:18,104 ♪ Don't you wanna have Something to feel ♪ 2235 01:36:18,104 --> 01:36:18,972 ♪ One life ♪ 2236 01:36:18,972 --> 01:36:23,176 ♪ And the world Will open doorways ♪ 2237 01:36:23,176 --> 01:36:25,612 ALL: I love my pussy! 2238 01:36:25,612 --> 01:36:29,983 -Yes to orgasms! -ALL: Yes to orgasms! 2239 01:36:30,183 --> 01:36:33,019 Yes 2240 01:36:33,019 --> 01:36:35,722 to orgasms! 2241 01:36:35,722 --> 01:36:39,025 ALL: Yes to orgasms! 2242 01:36:39,025 --> 01:36:42,729 Masters and Johnson taught us that an orgasm was just, 2243 01:36:42,729 --> 01:36:45,632 you know, like, up, down, like, quick. 2244 01:36:45,632 --> 01:36:48,568 It isn't. You can train yourself 2245 01:36:48,568 --> 01:36:50,103 to have an extended, 2246 01:36:50,103 --> 01:36:54,641 massive orgasm. Isn't that amazing? 2247 01:36:55,141 --> 01:36:56,576 Who here would like to learn 2248 01:36:56,576 --> 01:37:00,313 how to have an extended, massive orgasm? 2249 01:37:00,313 --> 01:37:02,315 [ALL CHEERING] 2250 01:37:02,315 --> 01:37:04,684 Who here would like to learn how to have 2251 01:37:04,684 --> 01:37:06,920 an earth-shattering orgasm? 2252 01:37:06,920 --> 01:37:10,256 [ALL CHEERING] 2253 01:37:10,256 --> 01:37:15,595 ♪ And I will believe in us ♪ 2254 01:37:19,265 --> 01:37:20,967 I tell my pussy that I love her. 2255 01:37:20,967 --> 01:37:24,204 I love you, pussy. I love you. I love you so much. 2256 01:37:24,204 --> 01:37:28,775 You're a sweet, sweet, sweet little puss. 2257 01:37:30,543 --> 01:37:35,215 ♪ I will believe in you ♪ 2258 01:37:36,716 --> 01:37:41,988 ♪ And I will believe in us ♪ 2259 01:37:42,989 --> 01:37:48,528 ♪ And I will believe That all of this is true ♪ 2260 01:37:49,796 --> 01:37:56,202 ♪ And I will believe in us Tonight ♪ 2261 01:37:56,202 --> 01:37:57,070 ♪ Tonight ♪ 2262 01:37:57,070 --> 01:38:00,707 ♪ Just for once don't you wanna Know magic is real ♪ 2263 01:38:00,707 --> 01:38:03,176 ♪ Is real is real is real ♪ 2264 01:38:03,176 --> 01:38:07,413 ♪ Just for once don't you Wanna know that magic is real ♪ 2265 01:38:07,413 --> 01:38:09,849 ♪ Is real is real is real ♪ 2266 01:38:09,849 --> 01:38:14,120 ♪ Just for once don't you Wanna know that magic is real ♪ 2267 01:38:14,120 --> 01:38:16,456 ♪ Is real is real is real ♪ 2268 01:38:16,456 --> 01:38:20,560 ♪ Just for once don't you Wanna know that magic is real ♪ 2269 01:38:20,560 --> 01:38:23,062 ♪ Is real is real is real ♪ 2270 01:38:23,062 --> 01:38:26,532 ♪ A kiss goodnight A kiss by darkness ♪ 2271 01:38:26,532 --> 01:38:29,502 ♪ A kiss to all the end Of rain ♪ 2272 01:38:29,502 --> 01:38:32,939 ♪ To stall this night To stall this darkness ♪ 2273 01:38:32,939 --> 01:38:36,309 ♪ To stall this night Till the end of days ♪ 2274 01:38:36,309 --> 01:38:41,547 ♪ Just for once don't you Wanna know that magic is real ♪ 2275 01:38:56,963 --> 01:38:58,164 ♪ Just for once ♪ 2276 01:38:58,164 --> 01:39:02,969 ♪ Just for once Don't you wanna know ♪ 2277 01:39:03,703 --> 01:39:04,737 ♪ Just for once ♪ 2278 01:39:04,737 --> 01:39:09,275 ♪ Just for once Don't you wanna know ♪ 2279 01:39:09,475 --> 01:39:13,746 ♪ Just for once don't you Wanna know that magic is real ♪ 2280 01:39:13,746 --> 01:39:16,115 ♪ Is real is real is real ♪ 2281 01:39:16,115 --> 01:39:20,286 ♪ Just for once don't you Wanna know that magic is real ♪ 2282 01:39:20,286 --> 01:39:22,722 ♪ Is real is real is real ♪ 2283 01:39:22,722 --> 01:39:26,826 ♪ Just for once don't you Wanna know that magic is real ♪ 2284 01:39:26,826 --> 01:39:29,329 ♪ Is real is real is real ♪ 2285 01:39:29,329 --> 01:39:33,399 ♪ Just for once don't you Wanna know that magic is real ♪ 2286 01:39:33,399 --> 01:39:36,002 ♪ Is real is real is real ♪ 2287 01:39:36,002 --> 01:39:40,006 ♪ Just for once don't you Wanna know that magic is real ♪ 2288 01:39:40,006 --> 01:39:42,642 ♪ Is real is real is real ♪ 2289 01:39:42,642 --> 01:39:46,846 ♪ Just for once don't you Wanna know that magic is real ♪ 2290 01:39:46,846 --> 01:39:51,084 ♪ Is real is real is real ♪ 2291 01:39:55,722 --> 01:39:59,926 -[ALL CHEERING] -Presenting 2292 01:39:59,926 --> 01:40:01,060 pussy! 2293 01:40:01,060 --> 01:40:03,062 [ALL CHEERING] 163957

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