All language subtitles for Glee - 02x08 - Furt.LOL.English.C.updated.Addic7ed.com

So here's what you missed on Glee:

Kurt's still getting harassed and
doesn't know what to do about it.

I am gonna kill you.

Finn and Kurt got mad at each other,
because Kurt had

a crush on Finn, and then
Finn called him a nasty name,

but it also wasn't cool that
Kurt couldn't take a hint,

and their parents are dating,
so it's a little awkward.

Sam and Quinn are sort of dating,

and Sue sort of
dated Rod Remington.

You sunk my battleship,
Rod, and you sunk it hard.

But then she caught him cheating,
so she's back on the market,

and that's what you
missed on Glee.

Oh.
What's going on?

Is this one of those
interventions, 'cause...?

If it is, it's for the both of us.

They bombarded me and forced
me to bring them to you.

Okay, come on, tell 'em.

- No, no, no, you.
- Come on.

No.
We said in the car.

Come on, you, you.

- Come on, you.
- Please!

All right, so you know how I drive
Carole to work every Tuesday?

Well, today I drove here,

and we snuck into that classroom
where Kurt introduced us...

Very romantic of me,
I might add... And I...

He proposed!
He proposed!

You stole the punch line!

Come on!

Wow.
This just happened?

Oh, Dad!

Oh! We wanted the two of you
to be the first to know.

Yeah, after the kids
in that homeroom.

Come on, family hug, huh?

- Okay.
- Come on!

I'm so excited and...
And nervous!

- Oh, don't be, don't be.
- Well, no. Okay.

Oh, my God,
this is just what I needed.

I will take care of it from here.

I have a trunk full of wedding
magazines hidden under my bed.

I'm thinking of a
russet and cognac theme.

Those are colors, Finn.
Fall wedding colors.

We're gonna use whatever
savings we have.

We are spending it
on the honeymoon.

That's right.
We're going to Waikiki.

We're gonna go to the hotel

where they put up the
guest stars on Lost.

Finn, you...
You haven't said anything.

Uh, I'm...

I guess I'm just kind of stunned.

Hey, don't worry. I'm already
looking for a bigger house.

One where everybody's gonna get
their own rooms. All right?

Come on, honey.
Be happy for me.

I am, Mom.

All right, now listen, Kurt,

Mr. Wedding Planner, I want
you to take care of one thing.

I don't care about the food
or the booze at this party,

but I want one heck of a band.

I've been eating right.

I've been exercising.

And I want to boogie with
Carole at this wedding.

And I will boogie.

All right. It's already
taken care of, Dad.

I'm going to hire the New
Directions as your band.

Right?
It won't cost you a cent.

They're cheap, they're available.

Long story short...

You're having a Glee wedding.

Sync by YYeTs.net
Corrected by arnozet
www.addic7ed.com

Today is a red-letter day.

The big day has finally
arrived for one Sue Sylvester.

Becky, get in here!

Get these invites down
to the post office, stat.

Got it, Coach.

And to think that this joyous
occasion began in horror.

Which is why I just prefer to
think of the homeless as outdoorsy.

So shine on, urban campers!

You smell like adventure!

And that's how Sue sees it.

Sue, you're the bee's knees.

Before we break,

I'd like to make an announcement.

Rod and I are engaged.

I popped the question
in my building's

common-use hot tub.
Booyah.

Not to worry, ladies.

It's an open marriage.

We'll be right back.

How dare you humiliate
me like that!

People know you and I dated.

Sue, you can't tame the tiger.

You've read my tattoos.

Face it, Sue.

You're never going
to find someone,

and you're going to die alone.

So I decided to try online dating.

And there was only one
match for Sue Sylvester.

One Sue Sylvester.

So thanks, eDesperate.

I'm over the moon.

Or maybe I'm a little
high off this adhesive,

but I want to scream from
the highest mountain,

"Sue Sylvester is
marrying herself."

Hey, is that safe?

With your shoulder
messed up and all?

Doesn't feel messed up to me.
Now that I'm healthy,

I'm going to be gunning
to get my job back.

Well, Coach Beiste isn't going to
replace me while we're winning.

You can't win every game.

Look, I still want to
be friends. It's just,

I'm kind of on the cusp of being one
of the most popular guys in school.

Wow. I, uh...

I didn't think you were the type
that cared about that stuff.

Everyone does.
Being on top

means you don't have to
take crap from anybody.

No teasing, no Slushee facials.

Being quarterback isn't
going to put you on top,

especially since you can't even
get Quinn to be your girlfriend.

I'm working on that, too.

So, what do you want to
talk about in private?

These galactic mobiles
aren't the stars of McKinley.

We are.

Or at least, I want us to be.

I think I love you.

Look, my shoulder's healed, I'm going
to be the quarterback again soon.

And you're already
the head cheerleader.

Oh, my God, are you proposing?

We've known each other
for six weeks. Stand up.

- You're freaking me out.
- I want to marry you...

Some day. Until then,
will you accept this promise ring?

What are you, six?

If you accept,

this ring will symbolize my
promise to you to be true,

to never pressure you to
do anything more than kiss,

to listen to your problems,

to tell you when you
have food in your teeth

or eye gunk, to come over to
your house whenever you need

something super
heavy moved around.

I promise to make you feel proud

when you point down
the hall and say,

"That dude's my boyfriend."

And I promise to do
all of those things

without ever trying to sound
like Matthew McConaughey.

I really care about you, Quinn.

And I want us to be together.

Is that a no?

It's a maybe.

Hey, uh, so I've been
reviewing this itinerary,

and I don't really get it.

Are you sure we should release
300 live doves indoors?

Won't that get kind of messy?

That's why we feed
them glitter, Finn.

Oh. Well, look,
I've been thinking about it.

I really want to do something
special for the wedding, and

I wanted to take this opportunity

to sort of remind everyone that I'm,
you know, a leader.

I have the perfect idea.

After you walk your
mom down the aisle,

and give her away to my dad...

Incredibly creepy.

And give your speech
to the newlyweds...

Which I will write,
although you are free

to suggest overall themes...

You and Carole will have a lovely

mother-and-son dance
in front of everyone.

Ah, that's a terrible idea.

Everybody knows I'm
the worst dancer.

Finn, trust me on this.

I've been planning
weddings since I was two.

My Power Rangers got
married and divorced

in so many combinations,
they were like Fleetwood Mac.

I guess if I could pull it off,

it would make me seem
like a cool stud.

Totally.

Thanks.
It's a plan.

I don't want you near me.

Can I have this?

Thanks.

Are you okay?

No.
No.

Okay, let's go to the
principal, come on.

Did he physically hurt you?

No.

You said he's shoved you
into the lockers before.

Well, I can't expel
a kid for shoving.

He'll just say, "I didn't mean
to shove that kid, I tripped!"

Excuse works like a charm.

I use it all the time.

He didn't shove me this time.

He just... terrified me.

Lady, I can't suspend a
student because he scares you.

High school is a dry run
for the rest of your life.

It's rough.
People can be mean.

That's your advice?

That's all you have to say?

William, I was bullied
my entire life.

I grew up with a
handicapable sister.

I know very well how
cruel people can be.

Was it difficult?
Yes.

Did it make me stronger?

You bet it did.

It's the fear that's the worst.

I never know when it's coming,
I can't concentrate,

I don't feel like I'm part
of this school at all.

I feel like I'm in a horror
movie where this creature

follows me around terrifying me,

and there's nothing
that I can do about it?

I mean, you...

You don't know what's going
on in this kid's head.

You don't know what
he's capable of.

What does that mean?

Nothing.
Maybe I'm overreacting.

Lady, this kid lays a finger on you,
you come straight to me,

and I will expel him faster

than a Thai take-out place can
read back your delivery order.

Okay?

But until that happens,

and I'm genuinely
sorry to say this,

there is nothing legally I
or the school board can do.

Come on, Kurt.

We're gonna be late for rehearsal.

You know, when you call me lady...
That's bullying.

And it's really hurtful.

I'm sorry.
I thought that was your name.

As an apology,
I'll allow you

to choose from the
following nicknames...

Gelfling, Porcelain,
and Tickle-Me-Doughface.

I guess I'll go with Porcelain.

Damn. Totally wanted
Tickle-Me-Doughface.

Ladies, the Kurt-Karofsky
bullying situation

is getting way out of control.

Kurt's miserable,
he's losing weight...

And not in a good way.

And he's barely even fighting
me for solos anymore.

We've all been teased,
but something

about what Karofsky's
doing is so much worse.

We're all lucky enough to have
boyfriends on the football team.

I say, we band together and demand
that they confront Karofsky.

Okay, first off all,
I'm not dating Sam.

And second of all,
I think you personally just set

the feminist movement
back fifty years.

But guys like Karofsky
only respond to muscle.

- So we're going to fight violence with violence?
- No!

Look, I'm not saying
that they should hit him.

What I'm saying is that
we need to defend Kurt,

and there's strength in numbers.

I'm confused. Are you and
Artie officially dating now?

Deal with it.

When you guys fooled around,
did he ever, like, just lie there?

Why didn't you tell me that we were
having a Glee girls meeting?

This is a meeting for Glee
girls with boyfriends.

We're going to make them stop
Karofsky from bullying Kurt.

- Okay, I'm dating Puckerman.
- You're getting naked with Puckerman.

Besides, Puck can't mess with Karofsky.
He's on probation.

If he gets in a fight with him,
he'll be sent back to juvee.

Mm-hmm. Yeah,
so now if you'll excuse us.

You're so on my list, dwarf.

Look, if something
bad happens to Kurt,

and we didn't do
anything to stop it,

we'll never be able to
live with ourselves.

I'm a little confused.

I said not only am
I marrying myself,

I will be officiating
the ceremony.

I'm not, um...

Marsha Dean, when I hired you

and your crack team at
Marsha Dean Weddings,

I did so because you
specialize in unique weddings.

Well, that mostly means that
some of them take place outside.

Marsha Dean, you are fired.
You are out of your depth.

And nothing is too
good for Sue Sylvester.

Well, that's one
way to look at it.

Hello.

I'm Doris Sylvester.

I'm this one's mother.

Marsha, I'll bet people
say you look mannish.

But you know something?

I think it's perfectly all right
for a woman to be handsome.

Takes all kinds.

Susie, come give
your mother a hug.

Please don't call me that.

Come on, come on.

Oh, you poked me in my sternum.

I always forget that you have
this ribcage that's kind of weird...

And adorable.
I think I'll sit down.

Mom, what are you doing here?

Good news, Suze.
We finally caught the last Nazi.

For two and a half years,
we've been hot

on the trail of Eva
Braun's great-nephew Chad.

And you know what? He's been
under our noses this whole time.

Working in Phoenix as a CPA.

I felt bad taking him out.

I mean, it's punishment
enough to live there.

You ever been to Phoenix?
It's a hellhole.

Mom, where have you been?

I haven't seen you
or heard from you

- in over three years.
- What do you mean?

I... I wrote you all those postcards.

- I mean, granted, they were decoys.
- Have you been to see Jean yet?

It's the top of my list.

Look, I, uh...

I know it's been a
long time, but...

The work I was doing
was important.

And I always wanted
to get back here

and be a mother to
you girls again.

And Susie, I have to ask you,

what is it with this
ridiculous wedding?

Have you given up on love?

No, Mother. Quite the opposite.

I mean, when you were little,

the other mothers used to tell
me that you'd never find anybody,

but I said, "No, no, no, no.

She's a perfectly okay child.
She'll grow into her looks."

And you know what?

I believe you still might.

Mother, I am going through
with this wedding.

And you are free to accept
the invitation or not.

- Are you inviting me?
- I'm inviting you now.

Well, I am accepting.
Don't get so huffy.

Since your father's no
longer with us, I want to

- walk you down the aisle.
- No. I'm doing that.

Then I know exactly
what I'm going to do.

You remember when you
were a little girl,

and you used to ask
me to sing to you?

And I never had the time.

So you'd line up
your little dollies

and they'd sing to each other?

Appalachian murder ballads,

but it was touching.

You know something, though?

I'm going to be there
for you this time.

I'm going to sing at your wedding.

- But why?
- Karofsky plays right guard.

If he gets pissed at me, I'm
going to get sacked more times

than Jay Cutler,
which means we're going to lose,

which means Beiste is going
to make Sam quarterback.

Is being quarterback
more important to you

than helping out the kid who's
going to be your stepbrother?

Look, we both know I can help
him more if I stay on top.

Look, Kurt's going to be fine.

Rachel, I'm sorry.

I want to, but I can't.

I've never been so
disappointed in you before.

But...

Stop picking on Kurt.

You mind?
I'm changing.

We're serious.

- This is a warning.
- Oh, yeah?

From now on,
you're gonna leave him alone.

Look, if he wants to be a homo,

that's up to him,
but don't rub it in my face.

We're not asking you.

Yeah, we're done
talking about this.

Just back off, all right?

- Look, you back off.
- Hey!

Artie, are you okay?

Hey, hey, hey,
what's going on?!

Get up!
Get up here! Get up!

What the hell's going on here?

Dude was a wild animal.

- Manimal.
- I'm so turned on by you right now.

- How bad does it look?
- It's pretty hot, actually.

You have no idea how hard

it was for me not to
jump into that beatdown.

Where were you, Finn?

I was still out on
the field, okay?

I totally would have given

him a beatdown if I had
been there, though.

The fact is, it shouldn't have
gone down without you, Finn.

You should have been
leading the charge.

Lay off Finn, everyone.
It isn't his problem.

It's none of your problems,
actually.

But thank you for what you did,
especially Sam.

Serious, an epitome of a leader.

What's going on?

What happened to Sam's eye?

He stood up to Karofsky.

All the guys did.
Well, not Finn.

Is everyone okay?

- Do we all need to go talk to Principal Sylvester?
- No.

I got in a few good licks, too,
so we can just call it even.

And maybe this will send
a warning to Karofsky,

telling him to back off Kurt.

You okay, Kurt?

All right, guys.
Let's take our places.

We got a wedding to prepare for.

Well, Mr. Piano Man,
I think I owe you an apology.

Not to worry, Susie-Q.

I arranged for us to
spend an hour in here

with that, uh, that cutie-pie,
what's his, uh...

Handsome guy, what's his name?

Will Schuster?

Let's get this over with.

Look...

I know you've always
resented my leaving.

But I don't think you
ever truly appreciated

the sacrifices I made to
be a famous Nazi hunter.

I don't think you ever thought
about how hard it was on me.

So, this is the song I'm going
to sing at your wedding.

Yoo-hoo!
There we are.

I know you know it.

It's one of my favorites.

Well, hit it!

♪ Why, oh why, oh why, oh... ♪

♪ Why did I ever leave Ohio? ♪

♪ Why did I wander
to find what lies yonder ♪

♪ when life was so cozy at home? ♪

♪ Wondr'ing while I wander, ♪

♪ why did I fly? ♪

♪ Why did I roam? ♪

♪ Oh why, oh why, oh
did I leave Ohio? ♪

♪ Maybe I'd better go... ♪

♪ O-H-I-O ♪
♪ Oh... ♪

♪ Maybe I'd better go home. ♪

Mother, this song
still doesn't explain

why you abandoned your children.

Ohio was stifling,
and we couldn't wait

to get out of the place.
And I told you,

"Sue, we're going to
be hunting Nazis."

And Pop said, "Sue,
this might take a little while."

Well, those Nazis are slippery,

and me hunting them way
down in Lima, Peru...

We'd get postcards
from Niagara Falls...

While I'm stalking Mengele
in Bolivian malls.

Three times a year,
we'd get crackling phone calls.

- Happy birthday!
- Hunting Nazis!

- Merry Christmas!
- Hunting Nazis!

- Homesick.
- Abandoned.

- Heartsick.
- Neglected.

♪ Thank heavens we're free! ♪

♪ Why, oh why, oh why, oh... ♪

♪ Why did I ever leave Ohio? ♪

♪ Oh why, oh why, oh
did I leave Ohio? ♪

♪ Maybe I'd better stay home... ♪

Well, that wasn't as good
as I thought it would be.

Whoops!
Wait a minute.

I've got a fitting
for your wedding.

I'm wearing white.
I know you won't mind.

It goes with my skin tone.

You?
You got your father's coloring.

Give us a kiss.

♪ Maybe I'd better stay home. ♪

Thank you both for attending

the Kurt Hummel
Wedding Dance Seminar.

Dad, you're going
to have to pull off

the first dance with Carole.
And if Uncle Andy's

fortieth birthday party
was any indication,

you're going to need some work.

What are you talking about?
My moves were great, okay?

- It was the damn sangria...
- Okay.

- We dance to the beat, not to the words.
- Affected my coordination.

- I'm here, right?
- Yes, right here. Okay.

All right, have you guys chosen a...
No... A wedding song?

Uh, yes. We're thinking
"Stairway" or some Bublé.

Okay. Great.

So it's basically
one-two-three-four. Okay.

Follow me, all right?
Gentleman leads on the left.

Right.
Opposite of me. Okay?

Get ready?
Opposite.

One-two-three-four.

Okay, getting back.

Hey, look at me, I'm dancing, huh?

- Look at that!
- Yeah, okay.

Come over here, and dance
with yourself, practice.

Come on, Finn, no chickening out.

I did it. You got to do it, too.

Okay, uh...

My feet are moving
and there's music.

All right. Okay.
Position.

That's dancing. Uh...

Can we... Can we shut the door?
I'm not really comfortable

- with people watching.
- What are you talking about?

You danced in front of
1,000 people at Regionals.

Okay.

What the hell was that?

- It's nothing, Dad.
- That was not nothing.

That guy was making fun of you.
What the hell's his name?

Tell him, Kurt.

- Tell me what?
- Tell him, or I will.

His name's Dave Karofsky.

He's... been harassing
me for a few weeks now.

Harassing you how?

Just... Shoving me,
and giving me a hard time.

There's more.

There's something else
you're not telling me.

He threatened to kill me.

What?
You've got to be kidding me.

Burt!

- What the hell?
- You like picking on people?

- What?!
- Why don't you try me?

Burt! Stop!

Please, you're sick.
Come on.

What the hell have you been doing
while this is all going on, huh?

So it seems the situation
has reached a boiling point.

- You're damn right, it has.
- Nothing happened.

I'll tell you what really happened.
Mr. Karofsky...

My name's Paul.

Paul, your kid threatened
the life of my son.

Porcelain?
Is that true?

That's not true.
I didn't say anything.

That's what he said.

He said he would kill
me if I told anyone.

If you told anyone what?

Just... that he was picking on me.

He's making all this stuff up.

- Oh, is that right?
- Hold on a sec.

You have been acting
differently lately, David.

You used to get A's and B's.

You're talking back,
you're acting out,

and now we're sitting here.

So let me ask you:
Why would Kurt make that up?

Maybe he likes me.

I think we're wasting
our time here.

It's your job to protect people.

Couldn't agree more.

After hearing both sides of the story,
you are hereby expelled.

I will not have one student
threatening the life of another.

If you don't think this is fair,

well, you can appeal
to the school board.

You'll leave campus immediately.

I appreciate your time.

Thank you.

Enjoy your wedding.

Huh.

Never learned how to tie a tie.

Sit down, Frankenteen.

I'm guessing you know
that you're losing it.

I mean, Sam is clearly
the new Glee favorite,

he's going to become
starting quarterback...

- What's your point?
- My point

is that you need a
coolness injection.

If you were honest and told people

that we did it last year,

you would go from uncool to
Chilly Willy in a heartbeat.

Maybe, but I can't do that.

Wait.

What?

There's something I
have to tell you.

I didn't have sex with Jessie.

I... I lied...
to make you jealous.

I... It's cool.

Um, you know, I had a feeling,

considering how much of a
prude you are with me...

- not that I'm complaining.
- This is so much better

because now neither of us have
done it and we can save it

for each other.

Awesome.

If she found out,
she'd break up with me.

And this would be bad because...?

Because I'm in love with her

and I don't want to
hurt her feelings.

Okay, don't you see
that that midget is

like an anchor dragging you
down to the depths of Loserville?

Oh, stop it, Santana,
that's my girlfriend.

I think you should leave.

All right.

Well, maybe I'll tell her.

I mean, if you two broke up,

we'd be free to see
each other, right?

Hey.

What are you guys doing?

Nothing.

I was just leaving.

Aren't you going to tell
me how pretty I look?

You look amazing.

What?

I...

I just really love you.

I love you, too.

♪ lt's a beautiful night. ♪

♪ We're looking for
something dumb to do. ♪

♪ Hey, baby, ♪

♪ I think I wanna marry you. ♪

♪ ls it the look in your eyes? ♪

♪ Or is it this dancing juice? ♪

♪ Who cares, baby? ♪

♪ I think I wanna marry you. ♪

♪ Well, I know ♪

♪ this little chapel on
the boulevard we can go. ♪

♪ No one will know. ♪

♪ Come on, girl. ♪

♪ Who cares if we're trashed? ♪

♪ Got a pocket full of cash
we can blow. ♪

♪ Shots of Patrón. ♪

♪ And it's on, girl. ♪

♪ Don't say no, no, no, no, no... ♪

♪ Just say yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah... ♪

♪ And we'll go, go, go, go, go... ♪

♪ If you're ready like I'm ready. ♪

♪ 'Cause it's a beautiful night. ♪

♪ We're looking for
something dumb to do. ♪

♪ Hey, baby, ♪

♪ I think I wanna marry you. ♪

♪ ls it the look in your eyes? ♪

♪ Or is it this dancing juice? ♪

♪ Who cares, baby? ♪

♪ I think I wanna marry you! ♪

♪ Ba, ba, ba, ba... ♪

♪ Just say "I do." ♪

♪ Oo-oo-ooh... ♪

♪ Ba, ba, ba, ba... ♪

♪ Tell me right now, baby... ♪

♪ Tell me right now, baby, baby... ♪

♪ 'Cause it's a beautiful night. ♪

♪ We're looking for
something dumb to do. ♪

♪ Hey, baby, ♪

♪ I think I wanna marry you. ♪

♪ Ba, ba, ba, ba... ♪

♪ Just say "I do." ♪

♪ ls it the look in your eyes? ♪

♪ Or is it this dancing juice? ♪

♪ Who cares, baby? ♪

♪ I think I wanna marry you. ♪

Please be seated.

We usually start with a prayer.

But a certain young
wedding planner,

who shall remain nameless,

was afraid that some in
attendance might fall asleep.

So instead, I'm going
to let Burt and Carole

tell you in their own words why
they've invited you here today.

I'm not really known for
having a way with words.

Uh...
You know when you're a kid,

adults will tell you
a lot of things.

But one thing they neglect
to mention is how...

sad life can be.

I lost somebody I loved very much.

But Kurt...

He lost his mom.

And that killed me.

Well, we got by, but looking back?

I... I want to apologize
to you, Kurt.

What we were living just...
wasn't living.

You know that saying,
that when God

closes a door, he opens a window?

Well, sometimes out of nowhere,
he'll do you one better,

and he'll kick a whole wall down.

He grabbed me by the shoulders,
and he pointed me

towards this woman right here.

And he said,
"There she is. Go get her."

You're everything, Carole.

Words can't describe you.
You're everything.

And I will love you
till the day I die.

Oh, hey...

I'm lucky.

Most women, when they get married,
they get one man.

I get two.

One of you saved me
from my wardrobe,

the other one just saved me.

Kurt, you are an amazing person.

I'm not only getting a son,
I'm getting a friend.

Finn...

I know you were
resistant at first,

but I am so proud of you.

I've watched you grow into a man.

But I think I'm most proud

that you've become
a brother to Kurt.

We are four people.

Becoming a family.

Okay.

Burt...

- Do you take Carole...
- You bet I do!

And do you, Carole,
take this man...?

Oh, yes I do! Yes, I do.

♪ When marimba rhythms
start to play, ♪

♪ dance with me, make me sway. ♪

♪ Like a lazy ocean
hugs the shore, ♪

♪ hold me close, sway me more. ♪

♪ Other dancers may
be on the floor, ♪

♪ dear, but my eyes
will see only you. ♪

♪ Only you have that
magic technique. ♪

♪ When we sway, I go weak. ♪

♪ When marimba rhythms
start to play, ♪

♪ dance with me, make me sway. ♪

♪ Like a lazy ocean
hugs the shore, ♪

♪ hold me close, sway me more. ♪

♪ Like a flower bending
in the breeze, ♪

♪ bend with me, sway with ease. ♪

♪ When we dance,
you have a way with me. ♪

♪ Stay with me, sway with me! ♪

And now, I'd like to introduce

one of the best men: Finn Hudson!

- All right?
- You did good. It did the trick.

Oh.
Thanks.

Hi.
Uh, thank you.

Best man.

Right. Uh...

Well, I want to propose
a toast to my mom...

Who is so awesome.

I mean... Somehow even
without one in the house,

you taught me what
it means to be a man.

In Glee Club, uh,
whenever two of us got together,

we got a nickname.

Rachel and I are Finnchel.

Rachel and Puck were Puckleberry.

And today, a new union was formed.

Furt.

You and me, man.

We're brothers from
another mother.

And quite frankly,
no one else has shown me

as much as you about what
it means to be a man.

And over the past few weeks,
uh, some stuff's gone down.

And I haven't manned
up like I should've.

From now on? No matter what
it costs me, I got your back.

Okay?

Even if it means getting a Slushee
in the face every now and then.

You put this entire wedding
together by yourself, Kurt.

So as a thank you,
I had the Glee Club

put together a little
number in your honor.

You're going to dance
it with me, dude.

♪ Oh, her eyes,
her eyes make the stars ♪

♪ look like they're not shinin'. ♪

♪ Her hair, her hair ♪

♪ falls perfectly
without her tryin'. ♪

♪ She's so beautiful,
and I tell her every day. ♪

♪ Oh... ♪

♪ You know, you know,
you know I'd never ♪

♪ ask you to change. ♪

♪ If perfect's what
you're searching for, ♪

♪ then just stay the same. ♪

♪ So, don't even bother asking
if you look okay. ♪

♪ You know I'll say... ♪

♪ When I see your face... ♪

♪ When I see your face, ♪

♪ there's not a thing
that I would change. ♪

♪ 'Cause you're amazing. ♪

♪ You're amazing
just the way you are. ♪

♪ And when you smile... ♪
♪ And when you smile... ♪

♪ The whole world stops
and stares for a while. ♪

♪ 'Cause, girl, you're amazing. ♪

♪ You're amazing
just the way you are. ♪

♪ The way you are... ♪

♪ The way you are... ♪

♪ Girl, you're amazing... ♪
♪ You're amazing... ♪

♪ Just the way you are. ♪

♪ When I see your face... ♪
♪ I see your face... ♪

♪ There's not a thing
that I would change. ♪

♪ 'Cause you're amazing... ♪
♪ You're amazing... ♪

♪ Just the way you are. ♪

♪ Just the way you are. ♪

- ♪ And when you smile... ♪
- ♪ When you smile... ♪

♪ The whole world stops
and stares for a while. ♪

♪ 'Cause, girl, you're amazing... ♪
♪ You're amazing... ♪

♪ Just the way you are. ♪

♪ Just the way you are. ♪

♪ Yeah. ♪

Well, I hope the real wedding

is more exciting
than the rehearsal.

You know what, Jeannie?

There's nothing like
spending time with m'girls.

Then why did you leave us?

I was busy. I was
busy keeping you safe.

Those Nazis, they're nasty people.

You got the illustrated copy of
Mein Kampf I sent you, right?

Yes, I did.

Oh, what in the G.D. hell?

That's enough.

Dearly beloved,
we are gathered today

to join Sue Sylvester and Sue
Sylvester in holy matrimony.

Jeannie, give me the rings.

This is insane.

Sue, do you take Sue to be
your lawfully wedded spouse?

I do.

And Sue, do you take Sue

to be your lawfully wedded spouse?

I do.

By the power vested
in me by a web site,

I hereby pronounce
you Sue and Sue.

You may kiss yourself.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, but this is crazy.

This whole thing is crazy.

I had my heart set on singing
during the ceremony!

I don't want to be singing
as you're walking out!

I want to have a special
moment with you girls!

We girls have had lots of
special moments, Mother.

You just weren't there.

I resent that.

And I also resent the fact

that you are keeping
me in the background

at my own daughter's
wedding, which,

I am sorry to say I
still think is bizarre!

You know when I finally
began to like who I am?

When I stopped
trying to please you.

So Jean and I had to learn
how to become our own family,

and you can't just waltz
in here after all this time

and start calling the shots.
You're a bully, Mother.

It's taken till now to realize it,

- but you are a bully.
- I am not!

Mother, I cannot remember
a conversation with you

where I didn't walk away
feeling worse about myself.

Well, you know what, Susan?

I'm disappointed in you.

I'm sorry to say, Mother,

you are no longer
invited to my wedding.

What about my song?

You are welcome to sing
"The Sound of Silence"

in your hotel room right now.

All right.

And to think I was
going to send you

to Israel for your honeymoon.

They love me there.

You look beautiful.

You're beautiful.

Hi.

Arnica twice a day.

It'll help your bruise.

Thanks.

I've been thinking a lot
about what you did for Kurt.

It made a real impact.

I thought the only
impact that was made was

Karofsky's fist impacting my face.

You saw what Finn
did at the wedding.

That was because of you.

We've been talking
this whole time,

and you haven't even noticed
that I'm wearing your ring.

How'd you get that?

I broke into your locker.

I've always been really
handy with a nail file.

- Really?
- Mm-hmm.

This is absolutely unacceptable.

This psycho threatens
my kid's life,

and some school board made up of
a bunch of people I've never met

tells me there's nothing
they can do about it?

Oh, they could do
something about it.

They just decided not to.

No one reported witnessing
him being violent,

and there's no way to prove

that he threatened
you with violence.

The school board president
issued a verbal warning

to Karofsky,
and that's where we stand.

I can't go back to being
terrified all the time.

I jump every time a
locker slams shut.

I flinch whenever
I turn the corner.

I don't feel safe at this school.

Kids who bully, for the most part,

have been bullied themselves.

And I for one don't flatter myself
that that behavior can change.

Now this kid Karofsky isn't
gonna all of a sudden

be nice to you,
and I won't stand by

unable to do anything about it.

Effective noon tomorrow,
Figgins is back in charge

as I've tendered my resignation
as principal in protest.

I can't help you behind that desk,

but I can be an extra pair of
eyes out in those hallways.

Someone ought to have your back.

Besides, I miss my office.
This room smells weird.

I can't shake the feeling that
I'm inhaling a lot of dead skin.

Well, I guess I'll try to
enjoy the rest of the day,

before the terror starts anew.

I'll see you at home.

Hey, Kurt. Wait up a second.
There's something

we want to talk to you about.

Come on, guys.
The wedding was great,

but we have got to get ready
for Sectionals next week.

Kurt, good, I want to talk to
you about this amazing idea

I had for a solo for
you at Sectionals.

Can I make an announcement first?

Yeah.

First, I wanted to thank
everyone for what you did

at my dad's wedding,
especially Finn.

It's nice to know that I
have great friends here

as well as a true brother.

Which is why it's so
hard for me to leave.

What do you mean, "Leave?"

I'm transferring to Dalton
Academy... immediately.

My parents are using
the money they saved up

for their honeymoon to
pay for the tuition.

Kurt, you can't leave.

What the hell, dude?

How about you talk with
me about this first?

I'm sorry, Finn, but there's
nothing to talk about.

Karofsky's coming back tomorrow,

so that means I won't be.

- We can protect you.
- Seriously, we can, like,

form a perimeter around you
like the Secret Service.

- Yeah.
- The only thing

that can really protect
me is what they have

a zero tolerance,
no-bullying policy that's enforced.

Um, does this mean that you're going to
be competing against us at Sectionals?

Kurt...

I'm sorry.

I have to go.

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