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NARRATOR: Previously on "Four
Weddings and a Funeral"...
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00:00:02,900 --> 00:00:04,359
Your father and I have been happy
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00:00:04,360 --> 00:00:05,989
to help you out the
last couple of years,
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00:00:05,990 --> 00:00:08,199
but after that extravagant wedding,
5
00:00:08,200 --> 00:00:09,449
we have reached our limit.
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00:00:09,450 --> 00:00:10,533
I'm staying, Mom.
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I admire your tenacity,
because we're cutting you off.
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Oh, God.
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Your father told me that you're
interested in an arranged marriage.
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- Fatima.
- Kash.
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[STAMMERS] We can shake hands.
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- Great.
- [BOTH LAUGH]
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AUGUSTA: Giles looks in
good spirits, at least.
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00:00:25,280 --> 00:00:27,279
Is he all packed and
ready for boarding school?
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Actually, Giles isn't going
back to Cragscross on Monday.
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00:00:29,620 --> 00:00:31,035
What Giles really needs...
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00:00:31,036 --> 00:00:33,039
What Giles needs is
to be with his mother.
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ZARA: My name's Zara.
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I'm a Virgo by birth, Gemini by choice,
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and I'm looking for love.
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And that's what I wish for all of you...
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00:00:41,180 --> 00:00:42,689
that you find someone
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who makes you a better version of you
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than you would ever be on your own...
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who you'd be utterly lost without.
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I'm in love with you, Maya.
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[MELLOW INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
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♪♪
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[BIRDS CHIRPING IN THE DISTANCE]
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[INHALES DEEPLY]
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[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
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[MAN GROANS]
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[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
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♪♪
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Hey.
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Morning, Duffy.
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♪♪
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Oh, uh...
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I was just grabbing my glasses.
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- MAYA: Oh.
- DUFFY: Could you, actually?
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Thanks.
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[GASPS] Holy shit, Maya?
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[CHUCKLES]
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DUFFY: I'm late.
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Sorry.
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So... what's the play here?
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Do we talk about this?
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Yeah, no, we definitely should, right?
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It's just... if I'm not at
Peath when they boys wake up,
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they go full-on Lord of the Flies.
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One time they flushed an
entire kid down the toilet.
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Maybe we can talk about this tonight
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over, um, dinner?
54
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- Uh, sure.
- Yeah?
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Mm-hmm.
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Great.
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I'll see you tonight.
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- Great.
- Okay.
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♪♪
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Bye.
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♪♪
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- Oh, nice to see you, Duffy.
- [CHUCKLES] Yeah.
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Are you sure you can't
stay for breakfast?
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- I have cinnamon rolls.
- Oh, yeah, sorry.
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- Got to make a train.
- Oh, well, well...
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I hope enjoyed your stay
here at Chez Amour!
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[CHUCKLES]
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- [DOOR CLOSES]
- Maya, Maya!
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I can't believe I am sitting on the bed
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where you and Duffy had sex.
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[GIGGLES GOOFILY, IMITATES SQUEAKING]
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Oh, my God, stop being a loser.
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No, this is amazing.
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You are finally with someone nice.
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It's not just someone. It's Duffy.
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- So?
- I've known him since we were 18.
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His mom did my bunion surgery.
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AINSLEY: But he's in love with you.
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He's always been in love with you.
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Haven't you at least thought about it?
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00:03:21,170 --> 00:03:23,549
Sure, I've always thought he was cute.
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And then he'd show up to
graduation in a Jedi outfit,
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and I'd be like, "Uh, never mind."
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Okay, is that worse than Ted?
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Or that jerk who cheated
on you with that girl
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who looked exactly like his sister?
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Derek. He's actually in jail.
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00:03:35,530 --> 00:03:36,909
Why, because he and his sister...
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- Insider trading.
- Ugh, boring.
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You don't even date interesting jerks.
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Look, you have known Duffy forever,
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so you know what a good guy he is.
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Isn't it worth just a little shot?
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00:03:49,220 --> 00:03:52,399
- Let me ask you one question...
- The sex was... good.
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"Good". That's it? "Good"?
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- Okay, fine, it was great.
- I knew it. I knew it.
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Oh, my God, yes, yes!
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- [IMITATES SQUEAKING]
- Stop it!
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Oh, my God, I don't know
where that pillow's been.
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Stop!
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[LIGHT INDIE ROCK MUSIC]
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♪♪
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- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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[UPBEAT INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
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[INDISTINCT CHATTER, PHONES RINGING]
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Mate, Zara's a TV star.
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CRAIG: Reality TV?
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00:04:29,640 --> 00:04:31,929
Relax, this will be over soon.
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00:04:31,930 --> 00:04:33,939
Zara won't last a
week without her phone.
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00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:36,689
I don't know. She's
already everyone's favorite.
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00:04:36,690 --> 00:04:38,529
Basheer thinks she'll
end up with Duncan,
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00:04:38,530 --> 00:04:40,329
the guy who teaches blind children
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00:04:40,330 --> 00:04:42,570
because the seeing ones
find him too attractive.
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Sorry, mate. I wasn't thinking.
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[SIGHS] It's all right.
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I mean, people don't really
find love on this show, right?
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KASH: Well, the people who won
Love Chalet last year
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are already on baby number
two, so... oh, my God, sorry.
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00:04:56,570 --> 00:04:58,489
Fatima's obsessed with this stuff.
120
00:04:58,490 --> 00:05:00,239
She was telling me
about it all last night.
121
00:05:00,240 --> 00:05:01,369
Oh, that's the third time
122
00:05:01,370 --> 00:05:03,733
I heard you mention Fatima today.
123
00:05:03,734 --> 00:05:05,669
Do I hear mosque bells?
124
00:05:05,670 --> 00:05:07,759
It's hard to tell with
these chaperoned dates.
125
00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:09,549
We're not even allowed to hold hands.
126
00:05:09,550 --> 00:05:10,889
I don't know what to tell you, man.
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00:05:10,890 --> 00:05:12,889
Zara and I had sex on our first date
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00:05:12,890 --> 00:05:15,809
before the main course arrived.
129
00:05:15,810 --> 00:05:17,730
God, I miss her.
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00:05:19,450 --> 00:05:21,739
GEMMA: Can you believe Giles
and I took the Tube here?
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It was quite a thrill.
132
00:05:23,290 --> 00:05:25,169
Someone drew a phallus
on an advertisement.
133
00:05:25,170 --> 00:05:27,709
Mummy, I have eight
kills! All headshots!
134
00:05:27,710 --> 00:05:29,419
Oh, that's wonderful, darling.
135
00:05:29,420 --> 00:05:31,469
He never told me
things like that before.
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[UPBEAT POP MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
137
00:05:34,180 --> 00:05:37,319
So...
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00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:38,989
are you two doing okay?
139
00:05:38,990 --> 00:05:40,949
All things considered.
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00:05:40,950 --> 00:05:43,039
Giles is relieved not to
be going back to Cragscross.
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00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:45,039
- Mm.
- He starts Peath in two weeks.
142
00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:47,629
Peath? That's perfect.
Duffy can keep an eye on him.
143
00:05:47,630 --> 00:05:50,049
Yes, I agree. It's not ideal.
144
00:05:50,050 --> 00:05:51,839
But I'm more concerned about my role.
145
00:05:51,840 --> 00:05:53,889
How am I gonna help
Giles with his homework?
146
00:05:53,890 --> 00:05:55,599
And what do I pack him for lunch?
147
00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:57,099
Steak?
148
00:05:57,100 --> 00:05:58,979
Raisins? I'm overwhelmed.
149
00:05:58,980 --> 00:06:01,449
Oh, girl, my mom used
to pack me cottage cheese
150
00:06:01,450 --> 00:06:03,489
and a picture of Miss
America for inspiration.
151
00:06:03,490 --> 00:06:05,749
You're gonna be fine.
152
00:06:05,750 --> 00:06:08,339
Oh, I just want Giles to be okay.
153
00:06:08,340 --> 00:06:11,719
He still insists on sleeping
in my bed every night.
154
00:06:11,720 --> 00:06:13,549
He's very fragile right now.
155
00:06:13,550 --> 00:06:15,389
Mummy, I've killed them all!
156
00:06:15,390 --> 00:06:17,809
I've won! [VOCALIZING GOOFILY]
157
00:06:17,810 --> 00:06:19,569
- Yeah!
- Sweet, isn't it?
158
00:06:19,570 --> 00:06:20,989
GILES: Yeah! [VOCALIZING]
159
00:06:20,990 --> 00:06:22,489
Yeah!
160
00:06:22,490 --> 00:06:25,489
[MELLOW PIANO MUSIC PLAYING]
161
00:06:25,490 --> 00:06:27,619
- Thank you.
- Thanks.
162
00:06:27,620 --> 00:06:29,679
♪♪
163
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- Duffy...
- Hey, last night was...
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00:06:34,970 --> 00:06:37,599
Whew. Yeah, um... no, please.
165
00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:40,899
- You go, you go.
- No, please, after you.
166
00:06:40,900 --> 00:06:44,909
♪♪
167
00:06:44,910 --> 00:06:46,619
Look, I obviously like you,
168
00:06:46,620 --> 00:06:49,959
and I obviously have always liked you
169
00:06:49,960 --> 00:06:55,310
and not just because you look like you.
170
00:06:55,311 --> 00:06:56,849
I think you're really smart,
171
00:06:56,850 --> 00:06:58,639
and I think you fight
for things that matter.
172
00:06:58,640 --> 00:07:01,529
Do you remember when you
convinced us to occupy Wall Street
173
00:07:01,530 --> 00:07:04,277
and I almost died of trench foot?
174
00:07:04,278 --> 00:07:05,909
Yeah, I remember that.
175
00:07:05,910 --> 00:07:08,539
[CHUCKLES]
176
00:07:08,540 --> 00:07:10,589
I don't have any
regrets about last night
177
00:07:10,590 --> 00:07:14,129
except that I wish I would've
told you how I felt sooner.
178
00:07:14,130 --> 00:07:15,549
I guess I was just afraid
179
00:07:15,550 --> 00:07:17,579
that you wouldn't feel the same way.
180
00:07:18,980 --> 00:07:21,976
And seeing you now, I
realize that you don't,
181
00:07:21,977 --> 00:07:24,265
and I really wish I would've
let you speak first.
182
00:07:24,266 --> 00:07:25,489
Oh, my God.
183
00:07:25,490 --> 00:07:27,159
Duffy, you're one of my best friends...
184
00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:29,159
Hey, no, I get it. It
was a one-time thing.
185
00:07:29,160 --> 00:07:30,579
We shall never speak of it again.
186
00:07:30,580 --> 00:07:31,999
Could we get the check, please?
187
00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:34,719
Duffy, will you let me finish?
188
00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:36,639
♪♪
189
00:07:36,640 --> 00:07:38,389
You're one of my best friends...
190
00:07:38,390 --> 00:07:39,429
Yeah.
191
00:07:39,430 --> 00:07:40,734
Which is why...
192
00:07:41,980 --> 00:07:44,439
I feel like this could be really good.
193
00:07:44,440 --> 00:07:47,619
♪♪
194
00:07:47,620 --> 00:07:50,999
I-I want to give it a try.
195
00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:52,919
♪♪
196
00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:55,419
- Wait, are you serious?
- [CHUCKLES]
197
00:07:55,420 --> 00:07:56,839
Yeah.
198
00:07:56,840 --> 00:07:58,969
Yeah. Yeah.
199
00:07:58,970 --> 00:08:01,229
Yeah.
200
00:08:01,230 --> 00:08:04,109
Just to be clear, you're talking
boyfriend and girlfriend, right?
201
00:08:04,110 --> 00:08:05,859
[LAUGHS] Yes.
202
00:08:05,860 --> 00:08:07,489
Okay, yeah.
203
00:08:07,490 --> 00:08:10,539
No, I would... I would
really love that as well.
204
00:08:10,540 --> 00:08:12,419
TV HOST: It's week two of Love Chalet,
205
00:08:12,420 --> 00:08:14,669
and things are really heating up.
206
00:08:14,670 --> 00:08:17,509
[FUNKY POP MUSIC]
207
00:08:17,510 --> 00:08:20,229
♪♪
208
00:08:24,230 --> 00:08:27,239
[SONG CONTINUES PLAYING ON TV]
209
00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:29,379
♪♪
210
00:08:33,380 --> 00:08:34,563
MAYA: Come on!
211
00:08:34,564 --> 00:08:36,379
I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming.
212
00:08:36,380 --> 00:08:38,089
- Oh. [GRUNTS]
- Yes, thank you.
213
00:08:38,090 --> 00:08:40,810
DUNCAN: Here, let me
feed you some fondue.
214
00:08:43,810 --> 00:08:45,109
Mmm.
215
00:08:45,110 --> 00:08:47,739
That's delicious.
216
00:08:47,740 --> 00:08:51,539
I can't eat too much cheese.
It inflames my colon.
217
00:08:51,540 --> 00:08:53,619
DUNCAN: I love learning more about you.
218
00:08:53,620 --> 00:08:55,839
Did you know I'm an aspiring bartender?
219
00:08:55,840 --> 00:08:57,339
- No.
- Mm-hmm.
220
00:08:57,340 --> 00:08:59,339
- That's so cool.
- I know, right?
221
00:08:59,340 --> 00:09:02,179
Duncan, you smell amazing.
222
00:09:02,180 --> 00:09:03,769
DUNCAN: Thanks, I'm using a new scent.
223
00:09:03,770 --> 00:09:05,023
- ZARA: Really?
- DUNCAN: Yeah.
224
00:09:05,024 --> 00:09:06,848
PAUL: I knew you'd
been using my cologne!
225
00:09:06,849 --> 00:09:09,529
I write my name on the
bottle for a reason, dimwit.
226
00:09:09,530 --> 00:09:11,029
What, you can't read or something?
227
00:09:11,030 --> 00:09:12,443
DUNCAN: Hey, you know I can read.
228
00:09:12,444 --> 00:09:14,043
I just told you I started Percy Jackson.
229
00:09:14,044 --> 00:09:16,129
PAUL: You and Percy both
got a lot in common,
230
00:09:16,130 --> 00:09:17,209
'cause you're both thieves.
231
00:09:17,210 --> 00:09:19,259
Hey, dude, spoiler alert!
232
00:09:19,260 --> 00:09:20,759
Don't you get it?
233
00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:23,519
I just wanted to smell like you.
234
00:09:23,520 --> 00:09:25,309
I love the way that you smell.
235
00:09:25,310 --> 00:09:27,819
- PAUL: You do?
- DUNCAN: Yeah.
236
00:09:27,820 --> 00:09:30,279
I love everything about you.
237
00:09:30,280 --> 00:09:33,619
[INTIMATE MUSIC]
238
00:09:33,620 --> 00:09:36,329
- [BOTH GASP]
- MAYA: Oh, nice.
239
00:09:36,330 --> 00:09:38,049
DUFFY: I did not see that coming.
240
00:09:38,050 --> 00:09:40,129
God, this show is so great.
241
00:09:40,130 --> 00:09:42,139
GARRETT: You're the
smartest girl in here, Zar.
242
00:09:42,140 --> 00:09:44,939
You did really great solving
that sexy snow puzzle today.
243
00:09:44,940 --> 00:09:46,609
ZARA: I cheated. [LAUGHS]
244
00:09:46,610 --> 00:09:48,729
I bribed the producer to tell me
245
00:09:48,730 --> 00:09:50,949
which ice chest had the thong in it.
246
00:09:50,950 --> 00:09:52,529
Wow.
247
00:09:52,530 --> 00:09:55,209
Wow, I never would've
thought to do that.
248
00:09:55,210 --> 00:09:58,749
I just really, really wanted to win.
249
00:09:58,750 --> 00:09:59,919
Why?
250
00:09:59,920 --> 00:10:02,139
Do you just, like, really like puzzles?
251
00:10:02,140 --> 00:10:06,389
No, because the prize
was this date with you.
252
00:10:06,390 --> 00:10:10,279
- GARRETT: Oh.
- ZARA: [GIGGLES]
253
00:10:10,280 --> 00:10:12,279
♪♪
254
00:10:12,280 --> 00:10:14,619
- [SCOFFS]
- [TV BEEPS]
255
00:10:14,620 --> 00:10:16,539
QUEEN: Zara's found love.
256
00:10:16,540 --> 00:10:18,129
Good for her.
257
00:10:18,130 --> 00:10:20,049
[UPBEAT POP MUSIC]
258
00:10:20,050 --> 00:10:21,929
[BELLS JINGLE]
259
00:10:21,930 --> 00:10:24,009
♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh ♪
260
00:10:24,010 --> 00:10:26,019
♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh ♪
261
00:10:26,020 --> 00:10:29,269
Oh, that spells "breath",
honey, which is gross.
262
00:10:29,270 --> 00:10:30,859
You need an E on the end for "breathe",
263
00:10:30,860 --> 00:10:32,859
which is merely trite.
264
00:10:32,860 --> 00:10:36,199
Do you think I like selling
decorative letters, Tony 2?
265
00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:37,709
I know they're basic,
266
00:10:37,710 --> 00:10:40,499
but they also pay our R-E-N-T.
267
00:10:40,500 --> 00:10:42,089
Point.
268
00:10:42,090 --> 00:10:43,219
[BELLS JINGLE]
269
00:10:43,220 --> 00:10:44,599
AINSLEY: Oh, hi! [GASPS]
270
00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:46,349
Isn't today Giles's first day at Peath?
271
00:10:46,350 --> 00:10:48,849
- I just dropped him off.
- AINSLEY: Well, how'd it go?
272
00:10:48,850 --> 00:10:50,569
Oh, what you'd expect, really...
273
00:10:50,570 --> 00:10:54,449
crying, screaming, running
off to hide in a tree.
274
00:10:54,450 --> 00:10:57,369
- Giles was even worse.
- It'll get easier.
275
00:10:57,370 --> 00:10:59,789
- For both of you.
- I hope so.
276
00:10:59,790 --> 00:11:02,379
And to be honest, I could
use a little peace and quiet.
277
00:11:02,380 --> 00:11:03,929
I'm so sick of Giles making us watch
278
00:11:03,930 --> 00:11:06,929
these dreadful films made of drawings.
279
00:11:06,930 --> 00:11:09,139
Cartoons?
280
00:11:09,140 --> 00:11:11,189
Mm, that's the one.
281
00:11:11,190 --> 00:11:13,069
ZARA: When our lips first touched,
282
00:11:13,070 --> 00:11:16,079
it was like lightning striking.
283
00:11:16,080 --> 00:11:18,789
GARRETT: Yeah, or that
lightning that makes a sound.
284
00:11:18,790 --> 00:11:20,749
- ZARA: Thunder, babe.
- GARRETT: Yes.
285
00:11:20,750 --> 00:11:23,339
Thunder, yeah. Like
Thunder from Down Under.
286
00:11:23,340 --> 00:11:25,469
- You know, I was in that.
- Mm. [CHUCKLES]
287
00:11:25,470 --> 00:11:27,509
- Were you?
- GARRETT: Yeah.
288
00:11:27,510 --> 00:11:29,389
[CHUCKLES] Do you know what?
289
00:11:29,390 --> 00:11:32,479
Like, the first time
I kissed Zara, right?
290
00:11:32,480 --> 00:11:36,579
I felt nearly as good as
when I first lifted 150 kg.
291
00:11:36,580 --> 00:11:38,699
[TV BEEPS]
292
00:11:38,700 --> 00:11:41,709
[REVELATORY MUSIC]
293
00:11:41,710 --> 00:11:43,919
♪♪
294
00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:45,969
Oh, my God.
295
00:11:45,970 --> 00:11:47,719
Zara's sending me signals!
296
00:11:47,720 --> 00:11:49,849
- What?
- CRAIG: On the show!
297
00:11:49,850 --> 00:11:51,479
Zara kissed Garrett, and I was like,
298
00:11:51,480 --> 00:11:53,399
"Well, that's it. It's over."
299
00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:56,199
But then she scratched her forehead.
300
00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:59,159
Wait, Zara kissed Garrett?
301
00:11:59,160 --> 00:12:01,539
- Are you not watching?
- DUFFY: No, it's DVR'd.
302
00:12:01,540 --> 00:12:03,209
Maya's coming over later to watch,
303
00:12:03,210 --> 00:12:05,969
so, actually, if you could not
give any more spoilers, Craig...
304
00:12:05,970 --> 00:12:07,509
CRAIG: Duffy, shut up.
305
00:12:07,510 --> 00:12:10,269
When Zara and I were dating,
we had a signal at parties
306
00:12:10,270 --> 00:12:11,813
for when we needed to be rescued
307
00:12:11,814 --> 00:12:13,269
from talking to someone lame.
308
00:12:13,270 --> 00:12:14,779
We scratched our foreheads.
309
00:12:14,780 --> 00:12:16,319
DUFFY: Okay.
310
00:12:16,320 --> 00:12:19,279
So what I'm telling you is
that after she kissed that guy,
311
00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:20,999
she scratched her forehead!
312
00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:22,789
She's trying to
communicate with me, man.
313
00:12:22,790 --> 00:12:24,249
She wants me back, baby.
314
00:12:24,250 --> 00:12:26,469
DUFFY: Or maybe she just
has an itchy forehead.
315
00:12:26,470 --> 00:12:27,929
No way, man.
316
00:12:27,930 --> 00:12:30,309
Listen, Zara used to scratch
her forehead all the time.
317
00:12:30,310 --> 00:12:32,349
Like, every single
time she talked to me.
318
00:12:32,350 --> 00:12:33,439
Wait.
319
00:12:33,440 --> 00:12:34,689
- What do I do?
- DUFFY: Nothing.
320
00:12:34,690 --> 00:12:38,069
Craig, look, next week
we'll all watch together,
321
00:12:38,070 --> 00:12:42,409
and if we agree that the person
on the TV is talking to you,
322
00:12:42,410 --> 00:12:44,589
then we will figure something out.
323
00:12:44,590 --> 00:12:45,839
Okay.
324
00:12:45,840 --> 00:12:47,879
Okay, yeah, t-that makes sense.
325
00:12:47,880 --> 00:12:49,049
[SIGHS] Thanks, man.
326
00:12:49,050 --> 00:12:50,259
Yeah, of course, pal.
327
00:12:50,260 --> 00:12:51,849
Bye.
328
00:12:51,850 --> 00:12:55,649
[MELLOW MUSIC]
329
00:12:55,650 --> 00:12:57,399
[SIGHS]
330
00:12:57,400 --> 00:12:59,869
♪♪
331
00:12:59,870 --> 00:13:00,950
Oh...
332
00:13:05,290 --> 00:13:07,630
[BELL TOLLS]
333
00:13:10,180 --> 00:13:12,310
[GROANS SOFTLY] Hey.
334
00:13:13,770 --> 00:13:15,859
What are you smiling about?
335
00:13:15,860 --> 00:13:17,819
DUFFY: I was just thinking to myself,
336
00:13:17,820 --> 00:13:21,279
"If I could go back in time
and tell 19-year-old Duffy
337
00:13:21,280 --> 00:13:24,369
that one day I'd be
lying in bed next to you,
338
00:13:24,370 --> 00:13:26,379
I would not believe it."
339
00:13:26,380 --> 00:13:29,299
That's what you would do if
you could go back in time?
340
00:13:29,300 --> 00:13:31,299
You wouldn't, like, kill Hitler
341
00:13:31,300 --> 00:13:34,639
or tell John Travolta how
to pronounce Idina Menzel?
342
00:13:34,640 --> 00:13:37,149
- [BOTH LAUGH]
- No, no.
343
00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:40,989
I would just have a chat with myself.
344
00:13:40,990 --> 00:13:43,449
Okay, I'm gonna go to the dining hall
345
00:13:43,450 --> 00:13:44,539
and get us some breakfast.
346
00:13:44,540 --> 00:13:45,749
Yes.
347
00:13:45,750 --> 00:13:47,959
Western omelet with
tater tots on the side?
348
00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:49,958
You know me so well.
349
00:13:49,959 --> 00:13:51,130
Like, too well?
350
00:13:51,131 --> 00:13:53,080
You know, like you feel
you're dating your brother?
351
00:13:53,081 --> 00:13:54,679
'Cause I could try to
know you not so well.
352
00:13:54,680 --> 00:13:56,519
Usually at this point in a relationship,
353
00:13:56,520 --> 00:13:59,229
I'm still waking up early,
brushing my teeth,
354
00:13:59,230 --> 00:14:01,659
and then sneaking back into bed.
355
00:14:01,660 --> 00:14:03,990
Right. [LAUGHS]
356
00:14:05,460 --> 00:14:07,289
- Did you do that?
- No.
357
00:14:07,290 --> 00:14:09,669
- Oh, no, my breath is... stinks.
- You're a liar.
358
00:14:09,670 --> 00:14:10,929
- No, no.
- Breathe on me.
359
00:14:10,930 --> 00:14:12,339
No, it's disgusting. No, Maya.
360
00:14:12,340 --> 00:14:13,679
[HOLDS BREATH]
361
00:14:13,680 --> 00:14:15,769
I can smell the mint from here.
362
00:14:15,770 --> 00:14:19,020
[BOTH LAUGH]
363
00:14:21,053 --> 00:14:22,743
I just don't want to mess this up.
364
00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:26,289
There's nothing to mess up.
365
00:14:26,290 --> 00:14:29,289
[SWEET INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
366
00:14:29,290 --> 00:14:31,629
♪♪
367
00:14:31,630 --> 00:14:33,009
All right, I got to get those tots
368
00:14:33,010 --> 00:14:34,139
before Bernard does.
369
00:14:34,140 --> 00:14:36,519
MAYA: Okay.
370
00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:38,939
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
371
00:14:38,940 --> 00:14:42,569
♪♪
372
00:14:42,570 --> 00:14:45,449
- [UPBEAT POP MUSIC]
- _
373
00:14:45,450 --> 00:14:47,119
[THUNDER RUMBLES]
374
00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:50,169
♪♪
375
00:14:50,170 --> 00:14:51,759
- [BELLS JINGLE]
- _
376
00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:53,589
♪♪
377
00:14:53,590 --> 00:14:56,059
- Good morning!
- Ugh, hi.
378
00:14:56,060 --> 00:14:57,269
Um, I have to leave early.
379
00:14:57,270 --> 00:14:58,729
I'm hosting a Love Chalet party.
380
00:14:58,730 --> 00:15:00,609
Oh, okay, fine.
381
00:15:00,610 --> 00:15:03,109
I am going to my own Love
Chalet party at Craig's,
382
00:15:03,110 --> 00:15:05,449
so don't feel bad about
not inviting me to yours.
383
00:15:05,450 --> 00:15:06,829
I would never...
384
00:15:06,830 --> 00:15:08,499
invite you or feel bad.
385
00:15:08,500 --> 00:15:09,879
- [SCOFFS]
- [BELLS JINGLE]
386
00:15:09,880 --> 00:15:11,919
[CUSTOMER SIGHS]
387
00:15:11,920 --> 00:15:13,719
[DOOR CLOSES]
388
00:15:13,720 --> 00:15:16,259
- Ugh.
- Oh, hi.
389
00:15:16,260 --> 00:15:18,349
- Hello.
- May we help you?
390
00:15:18,350 --> 00:15:20,809
Yes. My name is Harper Dylan.
391
00:15:20,810 --> 00:15:22,609
I'm going through a divorce,
392
00:15:22,610 --> 00:15:26,369
and I need to decorate my home
to within an inch of its life.
393
00:15:26,370 --> 00:15:29,749
- Oh.
- Hi, I'm Ainsley Howard.
394
00:15:29,750 --> 00:15:32,709
It's so lovely to meet
you. This is Tony 2.
395
00:15:32,710 --> 00:15:34,679
I'm so sorry to hear about your divorce.
396
00:15:34,680 --> 00:15:38,020
- I'm certainly not.
- [CHUCKLES]
397
00:15:39,430 --> 00:15:41,177
So, um...
398
00:15:42,320 --> 00:15:43,739
what can we do for you?
399
00:15:43,740 --> 00:15:45,359
I am getting the six-bedroom town house
400
00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:47,369
and everything in it in the divorce.
401
00:15:47,370 --> 00:15:50,749
Your job is to pack it as
full of stuff as you can
402
00:15:50,750 --> 00:15:52,209
before the settlement is final
403
00:15:52,210 --> 00:15:55,049
and before my joint account goes poof.
404
00:15:55,050 --> 00:15:57,259
- [EXHALES SHARPLY, CHUCKLES]
- [CHUCKLES]
405
00:15:57,260 --> 00:16:00,389
So, um, how would you
describe your design aesthetic?
406
00:16:00,390 --> 00:16:02,059
Expensive and spiteful.
407
00:16:02,060 --> 00:16:03,939
TONY 2: Oh, my God, I am living for you.
408
00:16:03,940 --> 00:16:05,359
- I was about to quit this job
- _
409
00:16:05,360 --> 00:16:06,659
before you walked through that door.
410
00:16:06,660 --> 00:16:07,779
[LAUGHS]
411
00:16:07,780 --> 00:16:09,619
I was hoping after 13 years
412
00:16:09,620 --> 00:16:12,129
that my ex and I might be
able to part with some dignity,
413
00:16:12,130 --> 00:16:14,129
but then he set all my shoes on fire.
414
00:16:14,130 --> 00:16:15,629
- [BOTH GASP]
- HARPER: So the gloves are off.
415
00:16:15,630 --> 00:16:17,759
He also set all my gloves on fire.
416
00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:19,469
♪ You've got me shook, boy ♪
417
00:16:19,470 --> 00:16:20,979
I hope you don't judge me.
418
00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:23,519
Oh, no, I would never judge you.
419
00:16:23,520 --> 00:16:25,989
I was recently left at the altar,
420
00:16:25,990 --> 00:16:27,659
so, hmm, I get it.
421
00:16:27,660 --> 00:16:29,935
I have a feeling you and I are
going to be very good friends.
422
00:16:29,936 --> 00:16:30,999
Mm.
423
00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:32,499
CRAIG: Thanks.
424
00:16:32,500 --> 00:16:34,523
[CELL PHONE CHIMES]
425
00:16:34,524 --> 00:16:36,219
_
426
00:16:36,220 --> 00:16:38,469
[EXHALES SHARPLY] I got to run.
427
00:16:38,470 --> 00:16:41,309
I got people coming
over to my house soon.
428
00:16:41,310 --> 00:16:43,269
- What are you up to tonight?
- Nothing.
429
00:16:43,270 --> 00:16:44,769
Fatima canceled our date
430
00:16:44,770 --> 00:16:46,949
because her nani has to watch
Britain's Got Talent.
431
00:16:46,950 --> 00:16:48,909
She's in love with the guy
who plays piano with his feet.
432
00:16:48,910 --> 00:16:50,449
[LAUGHS] You know what?
433
00:16:50,450 --> 00:16:51,829
I'm having people over
to my house tonight
434
00:16:51,830 --> 00:16:53,209
to watch Love Chalet.
435
00:16:53,210 --> 00:16:54,589
- Why don't you come?
- Yeah, right.
436
00:16:54,590 --> 00:16:56,129
- What about Ainsley?
- No, she bailed.
437
00:16:56,130 --> 00:16:58,929
It'll be just you, Maya,
Duffy, and my kale salad,
438
00:16:58,930 --> 00:17:02,979
just in case Duffy orders from
that Thai food place that I hate.
439
00:17:02,980 --> 00:17:06,069
Maya will be there? And Duffy, too?
440
00:17:06,070 --> 00:17:08,489
- Yeah, I'll try and make it.
- CRAIG: Awesome.
441
00:17:08,490 --> 00:17:09,949
Hey, and do you mind bringing napkins,
442
00:17:09,950 --> 00:17:12,119
ice, paper plates, plastic forks,
443
00:17:12,120 --> 00:17:14,829
and two microwavable-safe serving bowls?
444
00:17:14,830 --> 00:17:15,959
What?
445
00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:18,339
I'm not good at throwing parties.
446
00:17:18,340 --> 00:17:19,974
Zara used to do it.
447
00:17:20,970 --> 00:17:24,519
♪♪
448
00:17:24,520 --> 00:17:27,819
I'm still wrapping my head around this.
449
00:17:27,820 --> 00:17:29,909
I know, I know. It's crazy, right?
450
00:17:29,910 --> 00:17:31,529
- It's amazing.
- [CHUCKLES]
451
00:17:31,530 --> 00:17:33,499
Now we've both seen Duffy naked.
452
00:17:33,500 --> 00:17:35,459
[BOTH LAUGH]
453
00:17:35,460 --> 00:17:37,589
So how's it going?
454
00:17:37,590 --> 00:17:39,339
Uh, it's good.
455
00:17:39,340 --> 00:17:41,759
I mean, it's weird 'cause
we've known each other forever,
456
00:17:41,760 --> 00:17:43,729
so we've kind of skipped
457
00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:46,479
the, like, awkward,
nervous, excited part.
458
00:17:46,480 --> 00:17:47,859
But it's good.
459
00:17:47,860 --> 00:17:49,439
As long as you got that spark,
460
00:17:49,440 --> 00:17:51,199
nothing else matters,
you know what I mean?
461
00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:53,789
Like, that feeling that
maybe if you were separated
462
00:17:53,790 --> 00:17:56,459
by time or space or a reality show,
463
00:17:56,460 --> 00:17:58,629
you'd still be destined to be together.
464
00:17:58,630 --> 00:18:01,009
- TV HOST: Hello, and welcome to Love Chalet.
- CRAIG: Oh, shit, it's starting.
465
00:18:01,010 --> 00:18:02,759
- Duffy!
- Yep.
466
00:18:02,760 --> 00:18:04,389
- CRAIG: Move your ass!
- TV HOST: This scene is so hot...
467
00:18:04,390 --> 00:18:06,349
- it's gonna melt mountains.
- CRAIG: [EXHALES DEEPLY]
468
00:18:06,350 --> 00:18:09,359
[FUNKY POP MUSIC PLAYING ON TV]
469
00:18:09,360 --> 00:18:13,279
♪♪
470
00:18:13,280 --> 00:18:14,829
CONTESTANT: I like your bag, Zara.
471
00:18:14,830 --> 00:18:16,999
ZARA: Oh, thanks. I
got it on TheRealReal.
472
00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:19,402
CONTESTANT: What you keep in
there? All your secrets and lies?
473
00:18:19,403 --> 00:18:20,433
Oh.
474
00:18:20,434 --> 00:18:21,997
ZARA: You don't have to be so mean.
475
00:18:21,998 --> 00:18:24,150
You're not here for the right reasons.
476
00:18:25,140 --> 00:18:27,479
[SIGHS]
477
00:18:27,480 --> 00:18:28,649
CRAIG: Yes!
478
00:18:28,650 --> 00:18:30,819
See? Look! That's it!
479
00:18:30,820 --> 00:18:33,199
She gets into an argument and
instantly scratches her head!
480
00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:36,499
That's her saying, "Craig,
please come get me."
481
00:18:36,500 --> 00:18:38,589
Look, dude, you obviously
really miss her...
482
00:18:38,590 --> 00:18:42,129
No! I know you think I'm
crazy, but I'm not, okay?
483
00:18:42,130 --> 00:18:44,349
This is magic couple ESP.
484
00:18:44,350 --> 00:18:46,889
It's like our hearts
are two Bluetooth devices
485
00:18:46,890 --> 00:18:48,060
paired together.
486
00:18:49,886 --> 00:18:51,399
DUFFY: Yeah, yeah... [MUMBLES]
487
00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:53,409
- [TV BEEPS]
- [SIGHS]
488
00:18:53,410 --> 00:18:56,619
♪♪
489
00:18:56,620 --> 00:18:58,579
GARRETT: Hey, what's up, Zar?
490
00:18:58,580 --> 00:19:01,299
ZARA: Catriona is being
unnecessarily confrontational.
491
00:19:01,300 --> 00:19:03,379
GARRETT: Hey, listen, don't cry, love.
492
00:19:03,380 --> 00:19:05,969
She's just mad because
Ronnie took Nigella
493
00:19:05,970 --> 00:19:08,519
on his one-on-one
s'mores date, all right?
494
00:19:08,520 --> 00:19:10,689
- Come here.
- All right, now, here we go.
495
00:19:10,690 --> 00:19:13,069
Scratch time. [LAUGHS]
496
00:19:13,070 --> 00:19:15,070
[SAUCY POP MUSIC PLAYING ON TV]
497
00:19:17,250 --> 00:19:19,039
[SMOOCHING ON TV]
498
00:19:19,040 --> 00:19:22,549
[MELANCHOLY MUSIC]
499
00:19:22,550 --> 00:19:24,259
♪♪
500
00:19:24,260 --> 00:19:28,179
Anytime now, Zar.
Just scratch your head.
501
00:19:28,180 --> 00:19:29,389
Come on, now, girl.
502
00:19:29,390 --> 00:19:32,279
ZARA: Oh, Garrett, you're amazing.
503
00:19:32,280 --> 00:19:35,869
Is dry-humping a hot
dude one of your signals?
504
00:19:35,870 --> 00:19:37,103
- [DOOR OPENS]
- KASH: Hey, Craig.
505
00:19:37,104 --> 00:19:38,967
BASHEER: Special delivery... two studs.
506
00:19:38,968 --> 00:19:40,879
And we bought you
eco-friendly paper products.
507
00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:43,049
Ba-ba-ba-bam-bam. For you, brother.
508
00:19:43,050 --> 00:19:44,719
KASH: Hey, Maya. Everyone.
509
00:19:44,720 --> 00:19:47,389
Um, Craig invited me. Hope that's okay.
510
00:19:47,390 --> 00:19:48,849
I brought my mate, Basheer.
511
00:19:48,850 --> 00:19:50,939
My name's Basheer, AKA DJ Foreplay.
512
00:19:50,940 --> 00:19:52,689
Or if you're in the
mobile phone business,
513
00:19:52,690 --> 00:19:55,029
people call me the 4G OG.
514
00:19:55,030 --> 00:19:56,816
Trademark pending, so
don't use that, yeah?
515
00:19:56,817 --> 00:19:59,659
I'm Duffy. This is my girlfriend, Maya.
516
00:19:59,660 --> 00:20:01,079
It's nice to meet you.
517
00:20:01,080 --> 00:20:03,049
That's... that's your girlfriend?
518
00:20:03,050 --> 00:20:04,152
Yes.
519
00:20:04,153 --> 00:20:06,129
The lady sitting next to
you is your girlfriend?
520
00:20:06,130 --> 00:20:08,429
- DUFFY: Yes.
- Congratulations, big man.
521
00:20:08,430 --> 00:20:11,649
Gives me hope. I'm gonna
get it started, yeah?
522
00:20:11,650 --> 00:20:14,279
[MELANCHOLY MUSIC]
523
00:20:14,280 --> 00:20:17,449
[GROANS]
524
00:20:17,450 --> 00:20:18,909
[TV BEEPS]
525
00:20:18,910 --> 00:20:23,339
♪♪
526
00:20:23,340 --> 00:20:25,879
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
527
00:20:25,880 --> 00:20:27,929
[CUP CLINKS]
528
00:20:27,930 --> 00:20:33,899
♪♪
529
00:20:33,900 --> 00:20:36,529
[BOTTLE CLINKS]
530
00:20:36,530 --> 00:20:39,449
[SIGHS]
531
00:20:39,450 --> 00:20:41,249
♪♪
532
00:20:41,250 --> 00:20:43,749
[CLEARS THROAT] It's good to see you.
533
00:20:43,750 --> 00:20:45,209
Yeah, you too.
534
00:20:45,210 --> 00:20:46,629
- Maya?
- Yeah?
535
00:20:46,630 --> 00:20:48,219
Forgot your drinks.
536
00:20:48,220 --> 00:20:49,469
Oh, yeah.
537
00:20:49,470 --> 00:20:52,019
Oh, yeah, I just... I just
decided I wasn't thirsty.
538
00:20:52,020 --> 00:20:54,059
- You can take them if you want.
- KASH: Thanks. I'm good.
539
00:20:54,060 --> 00:20:57,489
Oh, no, sorry, isn't alcohol,
uh, haram, right?
540
00:20:57,490 --> 00:20:59,369
- Is that it?
- Uh, yeah, it is.
541
00:20:59,370 --> 00:21:02,039
But, no, I drink. Just not tonight.
542
00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:03,879
We've got a long drive back to Hounslow.
543
00:21:03,880 --> 00:21:05,749
Oh, uh, you're still
living with your dad?
544
00:21:05,750 --> 00:21:07,379
Uh, yeah.
545
00:21:07,380 --> 00:21:08,759
Still at home.
546
00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:10,429
But not in, like, a sad man-child way.
547
00:21:10,430 --> 00:21:12,599
- [CHUCKLES]
- My dad's not been well.
548
00:21:12,600 --> 00:21:15,649
Which is still sad, but
in a more traditional way.
549
00:21:15,650 --> 00:21:18,319
Oh, God, Kash, I'm so sorry.
550
00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:20,369
- Is everything okay?
- Uh, yeah.
551
00:21:20,370 --> 00:21:22,659
He just can't be a 68-year-old diabetic
552
00:21:22,660 --> 00:21:24,209
with a cake-based diet.
553
00:21:24,210 --> 00:21:26,209
I don't know, you kind of
just described half of America,
554
00:21:26,210 --> 00:21:27,629
and we're number one.
555
00:21:27,630 --> 00:21:30,179
DUFFY: Maya, yo quiero mi margarita.
556
00:21:30,180 --> 00:21:32,429
Oh, sorry. Yeah, it's here.
557
00:21:32,430 --> 00:21:35,349
- KASH: Hey, dude.
- Hey, Kash.
558
00:21:35,350 --> 00:21:38,239
- Here.
- Oh, thank you.
559
00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:40,619
[GROANS]
560
00:21:40,620 --> 00:21:42,949
Oh, God, that is, like, all tequila.
561
00:21:42,950 --> 00:21:44,249
Oh.
562
00:21:44,250 --> 00:21:46,419
Someone's trying to get me drunk.
563
00:21:46,420 --> 00:21:49,339
- [ROLLS TONGUE]
- [MAYA CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY]
564
00:21:49,340 --> 00:21:52,139
♪♪
565
00:21:52,140 --> 00:21:53,389
CRAIG: Ooh. Oh.
566
00:21:53,390 --> 00:21:55,559
- MAYA: What did I miss?
- CRAIG: We missed you.
567
00:21:55,560 --> 00:21:59,319
♪♪
568
00:21:59,320 --> 00:22:03,619
GARRETT: So tell me about
your last relationship.
569
00:22:03,620 --> 00:22:07,379
ZARA: Craig was so secretive.
570
00:22:07,380 --> 00:22:09,669
It was like dating a stranger.
571
00:22:09,670 --> 00:22:13,049
So, after we broke up, I
figured I might as well date
572
00:22:13,050 --> 00:22:15,519
an actual stranger.
573
00:22:15,520 --> 00:22:18,059
- That's what brought me here.
- GARRETT: Yeah.
574
00:22:18,060 --> 00:22:20,544
I'm here to promote my
line of protein powder,
575
00:22:20,545 --> 00:22:24,619
but I just never expected to add mass...
576
00:22:24,620 --> 00:22:25,749
to my heart.
577
00:22:25,750 --> 00:22:26,869
ZARA: Aw.
578
00:22:26,870 --> 00:22:29,089
- [ALL GROAN]
- KASH: What?
579
00:22:29,090 --> 00:22:32,259
GARRETT: So, Zara, I know
Fantasy Suites are coming up,
580
00:22:32,260 --> 00:22:34,259
and I just want you to know
581
00:22:34,260 --> 00:22:37,899
that my fantasy is to be with you.
582
00:22:37,900 --> 00:22:39,399
♪♪
583
00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:41,360
Did you write that wordplay?
584
00:22:41,361 --> 00:22:43,094
No, someone said it last season.
585
00:22:43,095 --> 00:22:45,579
[BOTH LAUGH]
586
00:22:45,580 --> 00:22:48,289
♪♪
587
00:22:48,290 --> 00:22:51,299
[SMOOCHING ON TV]
588
00:22:51,300 --> 00:22:53,429
What are "Fantasy Suites"?
589
00:22:53,430 --> 00:22:55,599
BASHEER: Listen, you're not
gonna want to watch that, brother.
590
00:22:55,600 --> 00:22:58,189
The couples share a luxury hotel room...
591
00:22:58,190 --> 00:23:01,149
bubble baths, silken robes,
592
00:23:01,150 --> 00:23:02,899
a little bit of sex as well probably.
593
00:23:02,900 --> 00:23:04,739
- [DOOR OPENS]
- AINSLEY: Hey!
594
00:23:04,740 --> 00:23:08,829
Sorry I'm late, but mama just
sold £300,000 worth of furniture
595
00:23:08,830 --> 00:23:10,919
[GASPS] Oh.
596
00:23:10,920 --> 00:23:12,170
Hey, Ains.
597
00:23:15,933 --> 00:23:17,506
AINSLEY: Craig, what is he doing here?
598
00:23:17,507 --> 00:23:20,859
- KASH: This was a mistake. I should go.
- No, no, sit down. It's fine.
599
00:23:20,860 --> 00:23:22,149
AINSLEY: "It's fine"?
600
00:23:22,150 --> 00:23:24,319
Kash is my friend.
601
00:23:24,320 --> 00:23:26,119
What he did to you was awful,
602
00:23:26,120 --> 00:23:28,289
but I-I can't just
cut him out of my life.
603
00:23:28,290 --> 00:23:29,709
Everyone uses Facebook,
604
00:23:29,710 --> 00:23:32,209
and they do all kinds
of horrible shit to us.
605
00:23:32,210 --> 00:23:33,313
Wow.
606
00:23:33,314 --> 00:23:35,549
He didn't tell us that he
was gonna be here, either.
607
00:23:35,550 --> 00:23:36,849
[KASH CLEARS THROAT]
608
00:23:36,850 --> 00:23:39,769
Kash you have known
for a couple of years.
609
00:23:39,770 --> 00:23:42,899
I have been one of your
best friends since college.
610
00:23:42,900 --> 00:23:45,199
I... Do...
611
00:23:45,200 --> 00:23:46,949
I mean, this is... this is, like, a...
612
00:23:46,950 --> 00:23:50,079
- This is a total betrayal.
- Cut me some slack, please.
613
00:23:50,080 --> 00:23:52,549
My girlfriend is about to screw
a guy on national television.
614
00:23:52,550 --> 00:23:55,129
On a bed of rose petals, if
history is any indication.
615
00:23:55,130 --> 00:23:58,099
Oh, okay, so I'm the asshole here.
616
00:23:58,100 --> 00:23:59,179
- Yeah.
- No.
617
00:23:59,180 --> 00:24:00,689
- AINSLEY: I get it, yeah.
- Ainsley...
618
00:24:00,690 --> 00:24:02,649
I get it. No.
619
00:24:02,650 --> 00:24:04,689
- Maya, please, come on.
- CRAIG: Ainsley.
620
00:24:04,690 --> 00:24:05,950
AINSLEY: Let's go.
621
00:24:07,530 --> 00:24:09,119
DUFFY: Bye, guys.
622
00:24:09,120 --> 00:24:11,119
Sorry, Craig.
623
00:24:11,120 --> 00:24:14,379
[SOMBER MUSIC]
624
00:24:14,380 --> 00:24:16,379
[DOOR CLOSES]
625
00:24:16,380 --> 00:24:20,019
♪♪
626
00:24:20,020 --> 00:24:22,349
Hey, Craig.
627
00:24:22,350 --> 00:24:23,643
Do you mind if we stay?
628
00:24:23,644 --> 00:24:26,739
Because I'd really like to watch
the conclusion of this episode.
629
00:24:26,740 --> 00:24:28,409
Thanks, mate.
630
00:24:28,410 --> 00:24:29,410
[TV BEEPS]
631
00:24:29,411 --> 00:24:31,249
[SULTRY MUSIC PLAYING ON TV]
632
00:24:31,250 --> 00:24:33,209
- GARRETT: All right.
- ZARA: That's a big one.
633
00:24:33,210 --> 00:24:35,129
- GARRETT: Open wide.
- [BOTH LAUGH]
634
00:24:35,130 --> 00:24:37,379
ZARA: Mmm, mmm.
635
00:24:37,380 --> 00:24:40,390
[LAUGHING]
636
00:24:42,140 --> 00:24:45,149
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
637
00:24:45,150 --> 00:24:47,789
♪♪
638
00:24:51,790 --> 00:24:53,080
[BELLS JINGLE]
639
00:24:56,050 --> 00:24:57,929
Oh, my God, Love Chalet.
640
00:24:57,930 --> 00:25:00,769
What did Craig think? I
hope he isn't devastated.
641
00:25:00,770 --> 00:25:02,689
I don't want to talk about Craig.
642
00:25:02,690 --> 00:25:04,769
- [DOOR OPENS, BELLS JINGLE]
- BRYCE: Are you Ainsley Howard?
643
00:25:04,770 --> 00:25:06,319
Yeah, dude. Who are you?
644
00:25:06,320 --> 00:25:07,899
I'm Harper Dylan's ex-husband,
645
00:25:07,900 --> 00:25:09,819
and I ain't paying for any
of that shit she just bought.
646
00:25:09,820 --> 00:25:11,039
Excuse me?
647
00:25:11,040 --> 00:25:13,369
She wrote you a check for £300,000.
648
00:25:13,370 --> 00:25:14,579
You cash it,
649
00:25:14,580 --> 00:25:17,129
and you're an accomplice
in a financial crime.
650
00:25:17,130 --> 00:25:18,589
Wait, what?
651
00:25:18,590 --> 00:25:21,309
My lawyer will be available
to answer any questions.
652
00:25:21,310 --> 00:25:23,769
Hey, I'm not afraid of you.
653
00:25:23,770 --> 00:25:26,359
I will cash whatever
damn check I please.
654
00:25:26,360 --> 00:25:28,949
Men like you think they
can screw over women
655
00:25:28,950 --> 00:25:30,369
and just get away with it.
656
00:25:30,370 --> 00:25:32,829
"Men like me." Hmm, what do you mean?
657
00:25:32,830 --> 00:25:34,539
Harper told me all about you.
658
00:25:34,540 --> 00:25:37,169
You're the psychopath who
burned all of her shoes.
659
00:25:37,170 --> 00:25:39,259
Yeah, because she slept with my brother.
660
00:25:39,260 --> 00:25:40,929
Don't suppose she told you that part?
661
00:25:40,930 --> 00:25:44,389
No, she said that, I think.
662
00:25:44,390 --> 00:25:47,269
And afterwards, I was, yeah, really mad.
663
00:25:47,270 --> 00:25:49,779
Everybody said, "Don't overreact.
Work on your marriage."
664
00:25:49,780 --> 00:25:50,923
And then I tripped
665
00:25:50,924 --> 00:25:53,119
on one of those little
red-bottomed pieces of shit,
666
00:25:53,120 --> 00:25:54,619
and I realized I was mad.
667
00:25:54,620 --> 00:25:57,039
I was allowed to be
mad, and the only thing
668
00:25:57,040 --> 00:25:58,629
that was gonna help me feel better
669
00:25:58,630 --> 00:26:01,339
was to burn those shoes
into a plastic-y sludge.
670
00:26:01,340 --> 00:26:03,389
But it didn't make you feel any better.
671
00:26:03,390 --> 00:26:05,309
Like hell. Made me feel great.
672
00:26:05,310 --> 00:26:07,229
That is, right up until yesterday,
673
00:26:07,230 --> 00:26:09,780
when I got a high-activity
alert from my bank.
674
00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:12,449
Well, I'm sorry.
675
00:26:12,450 --> 00:26:15,080
That is... awful.
676
00:26:16,710 --> 00:26:19,249
But this is business.
677
00:26:19,250 --> 00:26:21,589
That woman took a lot from me.
678
00:26:21,590 --> 00:26:24,139
Please, don't cash that check.
679
00:26:24,140 --> 00:26:26,649
[SERIOUS MUSIC]
680
00:26:26,650 --> 00:26:29,399
[BELLS JINGLE]
681
00:26:29,400 --> 00:26:31,359
- [SIGHS]
- [DOOR CLOSES]
682
00:26:31,360 --> 00:26:33,159
- ♪♪
- _
683
00:26:33,160 --> 00:26:35,199
- [BELL RINGING]
- DUFFY: Come on, now, gents.
684
00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:37,919
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
685
00:26:37,920 --> 00:26:39,549
♪♪
686
00:26:39,550 --> 00:26:42,009
Mummy, there's a sleepover
at school Saturday,
687
00:26:42,010 --> 00:26:44,049
and Sebastian's doing
it, so I want to do it.
688
00:26:44,050 --> 00:26:45,769
Sorry, wait. Who's Sebastian?
689
00:26:45,770 --> 00:26:46,939
He's my mate.
690
00:26:46,940 --> 00:26:48,689
Well, he was my enemy at first,
691
00:26:48,690 --> 00:26:50,479
but then a handball hit him in the head,
692
00:26:50,480 --> 00:26:52,472
and I walked him to the
nurse, and now he's my mate.
693
00:26:52,473 --> 00:26:54,779
- So, can I go?
- A sleepover?
694
00:26:54,780 --> 00:26:57,369
- GILES: Mm-hmm.
- I don't know.
695
00:26:57,370 --> 00:26:58,829
Gemma, hi.
696
00:26:58,830 --> 00:27:01,049
Giles telling you about this weekend?
697
00:27:01,050 --> 00:27:03,089
Yes, I'm just hearing about it now.
698
00:27:03,090 --> 00:27:04,969
Spoiler alert... it's a no.
699
00:27:04,970 --> 00:27:07,269
Uh-oh. Are you sure? The boys love it.
700
00:27:07,270 --> 00:27:09,399
They sleep on the field.
We have a giant telescope.
701
00:27:09,400 --> 00:27:12,149
And Peath is Anglican, not Catholic,
702
00:27:12,150 --> 00:27:14,449
you know, if you're worried about...
703
00:27:14,450 --> 00:27:15,619
you know.
704
00:27:15,620 --> 00:27:18,300
Well, I wasn't, but thank you.
705
00:27:21,250 --> 00:27:23,589
[SIGHS]
706
00:27:23,590 --> 00:27:25,139
Well, all right.
707
00:27:25,140 --> 00:27:26,679
But you're sure you'll
be okay without me?
708
00:27:26,680 --> 00:27:30,559
- GILES: She said yes!
- BOYS: Yeah!
709
00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:32,439
So how are you?
710
00:27:32,440 --> 00:27:33,739
Oh, quite well.
711
00:27:33,740 --> 00:27:36,369
As long as Giles is good, I'm good.
712
00:27:36,370 --> 00:27:38,869
And Lord knows I could
use a weekend to myself.
713
00:27:38,870 --> 00:27:41,419
[INAUDIBLE CONVERSATION]
714
00:27:41,420 --> 00:27:44,169
TV HOST: Hello, and
welcome to Love Chalet.
715
00:27:44,170 --> 00:27:47,559
Last week, Zara poured
her heart out to Garrett
716
00:27:47,560 --> 00:27:50,729
about her secretive,
untrustworthy ex-boyfriend, Craig.
717
00:27:50,730 --> 00:27:52,729
You forgot "backstabbing asshole".
718
00:27:52,730 --> 00:27:55,199
Is, uh, anyone watching with Craig?
719
00:27:55,200 --> 00:27:57,329
I don't know. We haven't
spoken in a couple days.
720
00:27:57,330 --> 00:28:00,159
He's probably watching
with his best friend, Kash.
721
00:28:00,160 --> 00:28:03,299
TV HOST: But will Zara pick Garrett
722
00:28:03,300 --> 00:28:05,969
to join her in the Fantasy Suite?
723
00:28:05,970 --> 00:28:10,439
Or will it be this
week's newcomer, Liam?
724
00:28:10,440 --> 00:28:12,859
I really don't envy you on this one,
725
00:28:12,860 --> 00:28:15,819
because, Zara, it's gonna
get a whole lot tougher.
726
00:28:15,820 --> 00:28:17,029
ZARA: What?
727
00:28:17,030 --> 00:28:18,943
- [DOOR OPENS]
- CRAIG: Zara!
728
00:28:18,944 --> 00:28:20,539
ZARA: Craig, what are you doing here?
729
00:28:20,540 --> 00:28:22,129
- [BOTH GASP]
- Oh, no.
730
00:28:22,130 --> 00:28:24,339
MAYA: Oh, my God,
it's Craig in a Speedo!
731
00:28:24,340 --> 00:28:25,919
Oh, sh...
732
00:28:25,920 --> 00:28:27,599
TV HOST: Following a heartfelt appeal,
733
00:28:27,600 --> 00:28:30,219
the producers have
allowed Zara's ex, Craig,
734
00:28:30,220 --> 00:28:32,519
one last chance to plead his case.
735
00:28:32,520 --> 00:28:34,899
Oh, no. Come on, Craig.
736
00:28:34,900 --> 00:28:39,079
Zara, you said that I was
too private and secretive,
737
00:28:39,080 --> 00:28:40,869
and you were right.
738
00:28:40,870 --> 00:28:45,629
So here I am, in front
of the entire world,
739
00:28:45,630 --> 00:28:47,719
I'm gonna tell you all my secrets.
740
00:28:47,720 --> 00:28:49,299
- AINSLEY: No.
- Oh, no.
741
00:28:49,300 --> 00:28:51,059
- No, no, no.
- DUFFY: Oh, no.
742
00:28:51,060 --> 00:28:54,109
- Craig, that's not necessary.
- No, it is the only way.
743
00:28:54,110 --> 00:28:55,939
[AINSLEY LAUGHING]
744
00:28:55,940 --> 00:28:58,739
[STIRRING STRING MUSIC]
745
00:28:58,740 --> 00:29:00,119
I'm not 5'10".
746
00:29:00,120 --> 00:29:02,539
I'm 5'8".
747
00:29:02,540 --> 00:29:04,039
- Oh.
- He looks it.
748
00:29:04,040 --> 00:29:06,799
I get silicone butt injections.
749
00:29:06,800 --> 00:29:07,993
What?
750
00:29:07,994 --> 00:29:10,469
CRAIG: I sell Magic: The Gathering cards
751
00:29:10,470 --> 00:29:12,389
online under the pseudonym
752
00:29:12,390 --> 00:29:15,149
"CraigtheFlyWizard...
753
00:29:15,150 --> 00:29:16,779
♪♪
754
00:29:16,780 --> 00:29:17,859
69."
755
00:29:17,860 --> 00:29:19,449
- DUFFY: Idiot.
- AINSLEY: [LAUGHING]
756
00:29:19,450 --> 00:29:21,159
- MAYA: Wow.
- AINSLEY: That's so dorky!
757
00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:23,619
But my biggest secret...
758
00:29:23,620 --> 00:29:25,499
is that I knew from the first moment
759
00:29:25,500 --> 00:29:27,759
that I saw you...
760
00:29:27,760 --> 00:29:29,049
I was in love.
761
00:29:29,050 --> 00:29:34,769
♪♪
762
00:29:34,770 --> 00:29:35,939
[ZARA GASPS]
763
00:29:35,940 --> 00:29:38,279
[ALL GASP]
764
00:29:38,280 --> 00:29:39,989
♪♪
765
00:29:39,990 --> 00:29:42,119
Will you marry me?
766
00:29:42,120 --> 00:29:44,369
- BASHEER: Oh!
- [GASPS]
767
00:29:44,370 --> 00:29:46,390
♪♪
768
00:29:52,970 --> 00:29:54,180
No.
769
00:29:55,559 --> 00:29:57,672
My answer's no.
770
00:29:57,673 --> 00:29:59,963
I can't marry you, Craig.
771
00:30:02,280 --> 00:30:05,669
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
772
00:30:05,670 --> 00:30:07,709
[SCOFFS]
773
00:30:07,710 --> 00:30:08,960
No.
774
00:30:12,390 --> 00:30:15,389
- [MELLOW ACOUSTIC GUITAR]
- _
775
00:30:15,390 --> 00:30:18,019
- DUFFY: Craig?
- [KNOCKING AT DOOR]
776
00:30:18,020 --> 00:30:21,409
Open up, pal. I'm worried about you.
777
00:30:21,410 --> 00:30:24,699
CRAIG: Go away, Duffy. I'm fine.
778
00:30:24,700 --> 00:30:26,329
Okay, yeah.
779
00:30:26,330 --> 00:30:27,999
Well, I intercepted your pizza guy
780
00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:30,299
on the way up here, so
if you don't let me in,
781
00:30:30,300 --> 00:30:33,349
I guess I'm just gonna eat your whole...
782
00:30:33,350 --> 00:30:35,639
gluten-free pizza with no cheese.
783
00:30:35,640 --> 00:30:37,769
Jesus Christ.
784
00:30:37,770 --> 00:30:40,229
CRAIG: [GROANS]
785
00:30:40,230 --> 00:30:41,740
Fine.
786
00:30:45,370 --> 00:30:47,119
You look great.
787
00:30:47,120 --> 00:30:51,259
I don't know what I'm
gonna do without her.
788
00:30:51,260 --> 00:30:53,929
Look, dude, I'm not gonna let
you sit here and wallow, okay?
789
00:30:53,930 --> 00:30:57,809
Tonight we are going
out and getting crazy.
790
00:30:57,810 --> 00:31:00,319
"Out" like when you take me
791
00:31:00,320 --> 00:31:02,779
to TGI Fridays for
the 2-for-20 deals
792
00:31:02,780 --> 00:31:04,989
or "out" like the club?
793
00:31:04,990 --> 00:31:07,579
Out like the club.
794
00:31:07,580 --> 00:31:09,879
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
795
00:31:09,880 --> 00:31:11,799
[CLEARS THROAT]
796
00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:15,583
[BOTH SPEAKING HINDI] _
797
00:31:15,584 --> 00:31:17,584
_
798
00:31:17,879 --> 00:31:18,902
[LAUGHS]
799
00:31:18,903 --> 00:31:20,926
_
800
00:31:20,927 --> 00:31:22,927
_
801
00:31:23,691 --> 00:31:26,115
_
802
00:31:26,116 --> 00:31:27,909
FATIMA: Hey, uh, you need a hand?
803
00:31:27,910 --> 00:31:30,959
- Nani's getting hangry.
- [BOTH LAUGH]
804
00:31:30,960 --> 00:31:33,680
- I have a surprise for you.
- Oh!
805
00:31:36,100 --> 00:31:37,748
[GASPS] Um...
806
00:31:37,749 --> 00:31:39,742
You said you'd never had a cannoli.
807
00:31:39,743 --> 00:31:42,569
Yeah, I've only ever seen it in
the, um... in The Godfather.
808
00:31:42,570 --> 00:31:45,409
- Go on, then.
- Oh, Kash, um, thank you.
809
00:31:45,410 --> 00:31:48,160
Um, okay.
810
00:31:52,460 --> 00:31:55,089
- Mmm.
- Mmm?
811
00:31:55,090 --> 00:31:57,429
You know what? It's not that good.
812
00:31:57,430 --> 00:31:59,019
What? Really?
813
00:31:59,020 --> 00:32:00,649
But I love that you brought it for me.
814
00:32:00,650 --> 00:32:01,650
Oh.
815
00:32:01,651 --> 00:32:03,649
- [CHUCKLES] Sorry.
- Oh, um...
816
00:32:03,650 --> 00:32:05,029
- Well...
- [LAUGHS]
817
00:32:05,030 --> 00:32:07,369
You, um... you've got a bit of...
818
00:32:07,370 --> 00:32:09,289
[LAUGHS] Oh, no.
819
00:32:09,290 --> 00:32:11,789
Um, did I get it?
820
00:32:11,790 --> 00:32:13,799
Yeah, no. C-come here.
821
00:32:13,800 --> 00:32:16,009
[BOTH LAUGH]
822
00:32:16,010 --> 00:32:19,429
[SWEET MUSIC]
823
00:32:19,430 --> 00:32:20,639
[CELL PHONE CHIMES]
824
00:32:20,640 --> 00:32:23,673
[BOTH CLEAR THROAT]
825
00:32:23,674 --> 00:32:25,699
_
826
00:32:25,700 --> 00:32:28,829
Hey, my friends are
going to a club tonight.
827
00:32:28,830 --> 00:32:31,209
Would you want to go?
828
00:32:31,210 --> 00:32:35,445
Oh, just, um, you and me
without our chaperones?
829
00:32:35,446 --> 00:32:37,549
Yeah, like a real date.
830
00:32:37,550 --> 00:32:39,469
- Yeah.
- [BOTH LAUGH]
831
00:32:39,470 --> 00:32:42,769
Um, uh, listen, this is...
832
00:32:42,770 --> 00:32:46,109
this is obviously a really
frustration situation.
833
00:32:46,110 --> 00:32:47,989
I'm not proud of the
dreams I've been having.
834
00:32:47,990 --> 00:32:50,449
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
835
00:32:50,450 --> 00:32:53,999
But... but we both agreed
to doing it this way.
836
00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:56,879
Yeah, no, no, I just...
I wasn't thinking.
837
00:32:56,880 --> 00:32:59,139
Oh, but, um... but
you and Bash should go.
838
00:32:59,140 --> 00:33:00,559
No, no, no, it's fine.
I'll go another time.
839
00:33:00,560 --> 00:33:02,599
Honestly, it's fine. Have fun.
840
00:33:02,600 --> 00:33:05,109
[URDU ACCENT] Just don't
do anything too Western.
841
00:33:05,110 --> 00:33:07,029
Okay? It upsets me.
842
00:33:07,030 --> 00:33:09,279
Right, let's see if your
nani likes my cannolis.
843
00:33:09,280 --> 00:33:11,159
- [NORMAL VOICE] She won't.
- [BOTH LAUGH]
844
00:33:11,160 --> 00:33:14,169
[MELANCHOLY MUSIC]
845
00:33:14,170 --> 00:33:17,589
♪♪
846
00:33:17,590 --> 00:33:19,799
[SIGHS]
847
00:33:19,800 --> 00:33:22,229
Well...
848
00:33:22,230 --> 00:33:24,439
this is nice.
849
00:33:24,440 --> 00:33:27,409
♪♪
850
00:33:31,410 --> 00:33:34,420
[CLOCK TICKING]
851
00:33:38,050 --> 00:33:39,719
[SIGHS]
852
00:33:39,720 --> 00:33:41,099
[CELL PHONE VIBRATES]
853
00:33:41,100 --> 00:33:43,309
Oh, thank God.
854
00:33:43,310 --> 00:33:45,753
[SIGHS]
855
00:33:45,754 --> 00:33:47,754
_
856
00:33:49,200 --> 00:33:50,949
LIZZO: ♪ Mirror, mirror, on the wall ♪
857
00:33:50,950 --> 00:33:52,449
♪ Don't say it, 'cause I know I'm cute ♪
858
00:33:52,450 --> 00:33:55,459
- Oh, there's Craig.
- MAYA: Oh, great.
859
00:33:55,460 --> 00:33:57,919
Oh, shit.
860
00:33:57,920 --> 00:33:59,299
There's Kash.
861
00:33:59,300 --> 00:34:01,299
Ainsley's gonna flip the F out.
862
00:34:01,300 --> 00:34:03,979
Maybe we should just go.
863
00:34:03,980 --> 00:34:06,649
Well, tonight's about Craig,
and we're already here.
864
00:34:06,650 --> 00:34:08,279
Yeah, you're right. It's about Craig.
865
00:34:08,280 --> 00:34:09,609
Yeah.
866
00:34:09,610 --> 00:34:10,779
LIZZO: ♪ I was born like this ♪
867
00:34:10,780 --> 00:34:12,829
- Hey, guys.
- Hey, Maya.
868
00:34:12,830 --> 00:34:14,409
- Hey, Duffy.
- Kash.
869
00:34:14,410 --> 00:34:16,629
♪♪
870
00:34:16,630 --> 00:34:19,759
Listen, you look bomb tonight,
you know what I'm saying?
871
00:34:19,760 --> 00:34:21,259
You're gonna clean up, you know?
872
00:34:21,260 --> 00:34:22,889
- Oh.
- I still date her.
873
00:34:22,890 --> 00:34:24,849
Oh, yeah, right. Of course you do, yeah.
874
00:34:24,850 --> 00:34:27,149
- DUFFY: I do.
- Uh, I'm gonna get a drink.
875
00:34:27,150 --> 00:34:29,279
- Does anybody need anything?
- No need.
876
00:34:29,280 --> 00:34:31,989
Bottle service, baby. VIP, my friends.
877
00:34:31,990 --> 00:34:33,093
None for me, of course.
878
00:34:33,094 --> 00:34:34,699
I'm on this sparkling apple juice.
879
00:34:34,700 --> 00:34:36,789
Ba-ba-ba-bam-bam-bam. For y'all.
880
00:34:36,790 --> 00:34:39,339
Yeah, do I... are we gonna
split this five ways, though?
881
00:34:39,340 --> 00:34:41,089
'Cause I'm probably only
gonna get one drink, so...
882
00:34:41,090 --> 00:34:42,969
Don't sweat it, mate. We're
putting this on the corporate card.
883
00:34:42,970 --> 00:34:45,099
- Cheers.
- ALL: Cheers.
884
00:34:45,100 --> 00:34:46,479
Yeah, thank you.
885
00:34:46,480 --> 00:34:49,109
Let me know if I should pitch in.
886
00:34:49,110 --> 00:34:51,859
I'll go find an ATM if it's
affiliated with my bank.
887
00:34:51,860 --> 00:34:53,199
- There's no need.
- Should we dance?
888
00:34:53,200 --> 00:34:54,579
- Yeah.
- We should dance.
889
00:34:54,580 --> 00:34:56,659
LIZZO: ♪ Look, baby,
I'm the whole damn meal ♪
890
00:34:56,660 --> 00:34:59,549
- ♪ Ooh, baby ♪
- So, no Ainsley?
891
00:34:59,550 --> 00:35:01,419
No.
892
00:35:01,420 --> 00:35:03,179
LIZZO: ♪ The juice
ain't worth the squeeze ♪
893
00:35:03,180 --> 00:35:04,429
- DUFFY: Hey!
- MAYA: Oh, hey, Gemma!
894
00:35:04,430 --> 00:35:05,769
What are you doing here?
895
00:35:05,770 --> 00:35:08,019
Well, I'm not just
Ainsley's friend, you know.
896
00:35:08,020 --> 00:35:10,229
I'm an essential part
of this friendship group.
897
00:35:10,230 --> 00:35:11,779
- Oh, yeah.
- DUFFY: Yeah.
898
00:35:11,780 --> 00:35:13,359
He isn't, though. What's he doing here?
899
00:35:13,360 --> 00:35:15,369
DUFFY: Craig invited
him. It's really annoying.
900
00:35:15,370 --> 00:35:17,289
I swear, if he wasn't
paying for all of the drinks,
901
00:35:17,290 --> 00:35:19,329
I would tell him to get lost.
902
00:35:19,330 --> 00:35:20,879
We were just gonna
dance. Do you want to...
903
00:35:20,880 --> 00:35:22,379
Oh, no, I'm fine.
904
00:35:22,380 --> 00:35:24,259
- I'll just take a seat.
- DUFFY: No, no, no, no, no.
905
00:35:24,260 --> 00:35:26,849
No, Gemma. Come on.
906
00:35:26,850 --> 00:35:28,639
LIZZO: ♪ I'm out here getting loose ♪
907
00:35:28,640 --> 00:35:30,609
♪ Gotta blame it on the Goose ♪
908
00:35:30,610 --> 00:35:32,649
♪ Gotta blame it on my juice ♪
909
00:35:32,650 --> 00:35:34,619
- ♪ Ya-ya-ee ♪
- SINGER: ♪ Ya-ya-ee ♪
910
00:35:34,620 --> 00:35:37,079
ALL: ♪ Ya-ya-ee, ya-ya-ee, ya-ya-ee ♪
911
00:35:37,080 --> 00:35:39,669
LIZZO: ♪ Blame it on my
juice, blame it, blame it ♪
912
00:35:39,670 --> 00:35:41,799
That's not a cocktail.
This is a cocktail.
913
00:35:41,800 --> 00:35:44,129
So then Fatima's nani
realized she's on a bus
914
00:35:44,130 --> 00:35:46,599
to Karachi, not Lahore,
915
00:35:46,600 --> 00:35:48,269
and that's how she met her husband.
916
00:35:48,270 --> 00:35:50,269
Nice, isn't it? You're
a lucky guy, you know.
917
00:35:50,270 --> 00:35:53,029
- Fatima's nani's a nut, brother.
- Sorry, who's Fatima?
918
00:35:53,030 --> 00:35:56,449
Uh, she's a friend of
ours from the mosque.
919
00:35:56,450 --> 00:35:59,409
[PEPPY POP MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
920
00:35:59,410 --> 00:36:00,499
♪♪
921
00:36:00,500 --> 00:36:02,169
SINGER: ♪ Our love ♪
922
00:36:02,170 --> 00:36:05,009
♪ It's something ♪
923
00:36:05,010 --> 00:36:08,389
♪ Baby, it is more than love ♪
924
00:36:08,390 --> 00:36:10,479
♪ Our love ♪
925
00:36:10,480 --> 00:36:12,609
♪ It's something ♪
926
00:36:12,610 --> 00:36:16,029
♪ Baby, it is more than love ♪
927
00:36:16,030 --> 00:36:18,159
♪ Our love ♪
928
00:36:18,160 --> 00:36:20,119
♪ It's something ♪
929
00:36:20,120 --> 00:36:23,549
♪ And I just can't get enough ♪
930
00:36:23,550 --> 00:36:27,599
♪ I need your love ♪
931
00:36:27,600 --> 00:36:30,349
♪ I need your love ♪
932
00:36:30,350 --> 00:36:31,899
♪♪
933
00:36:31,900 --> 00:36:34,989
♪ I need your love ♪
934
00:36:34,990 --> 00:36:37,279
What you did on Love Chalet
935
00:36:37,280 --> 00:36:40,909
was one of the most romantic
things I have ever seen.
936
00:36:40,910 --> 00:36:44,459
I just looked at my boyfriend,
and I was like, "You're shit."
937
00:36:44,460 --> 00:36:45,969
[ALL LAUGHING]
938
00:36:45,970 --> 00:36:48,049
Man, well, it's better
to sort all that out
939
00:36:48,050 --> 00:36:49,849
on national telly.
940
00:36:49,850 --> 00:36:51,599
I never would have
turned down your proposal.
941
00:36:51,600 --> 00:36:54,319
Well, if she hadn't, I
wouldn't be here, would I?
942
00:36:54,320 --> 00:36:57,529
[ALL LAUGHING]
943
00:36:57,530 --> 00:37:00,999
Hi, there. The name's
Basheer, aka DJ Foreplay.
944
00:37:01,000 --> 00:37:03,289
Are you ladies happy with
your cell phone plans?
945
00:37:03,290 --> 00:37:05,299
Um, yeah, I think we're all right.
946
00:37:05,300 --> 00:37:06,300
[CHUCKLES]
947
00:37:06,301 --> 00:37:09,219
♪♪
948
00:37:09,220 --> 00:37:11,269
SINGER: ♪ You can be cool ♪
949
00:37:11,270 --> 00:37:13,689
♪ Cool like me ♪
950
00:37:13,690 --> 00:37:16,899
♪ Mm-hmm, yeah ♪
951
00:37:16,900 --> 00:37:18,109
♪ You can be cool ♪
952
00:37:18,110 --> 00:37:19,699
PATRON: Hello, hello.
953
00:37:19,700 --> 00:37:21,999
We couldn't help noticing youse
girls dancing all on your own.
954
00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:23,709
We're not. My boyfriend's
getting us drinks.
955
00:37:23,710 --> 00:37:25,039
PATRON 2: Oh, your boyfriend, eh?
956
00:37:25,040 --> 00:37:26,459
Well, then we'll keep you
warm till he gets back.
957
00:37:26,460 --> 00:37:28,929
- GEMMA: We're leaving now.
- MAYA: We're good, thank you.
958
00:37:28,930 --> 00:37:30,389
PATRON: Hey, just once dance, then.
959
00:37:30,390 --> 00:37:32,179
- MAYA: Hey! Hey!
- I'm a nice guy, I promise.
960
00:37:32,180 --> 00:37:33,519
DUFFY: Hey, what's going on?
961
00:37:33,520 --> 00:37:35,109
PATRON 2: Oh, the boyfriend returns.
962
00:37:35,110 --> 00:37:36,819
Oh, good choice. He's so cute.
963
00:37:36,820 --> 00:37:38,859
- Hey, hey!
- Don't touch him!
964
00:37:38,860 --> 00:37:40,699
Hey, that's assault in
any court in the land, pal!
965
00:37:40,700 --> 00:37:43,119
Yeah? And what's the
waitress gonna do about it?
966
00:37:43,120 --> 00:37:44,579
Well, first, I'll put down these drinks.
967
00:37:44,580 --> 00:37:46,339
Oy, dickhead, they're not interested.
968
00:37:46,340 --> 00:37:47,959
Take the hint and get out of here.
969
00:37:47,960 --> 00:37:49,719
And take your tiny little
knob with you as well.
970
00:37:49,720 --> 00:37:51,559
Oh. Uh-oh, uh-oh.
971
00:37:51,560 --> 00:37:53,099
We seem to have upset the terrorists.
972
00:37:53,100 --> 00:37:55,399
[BOTH LAUGHING]
973
00:37:55,400 --> 00:37:58,649
♪♪
974
00:37:58,650 --> 00:38:00,409
[OVERLAPPING SHOUTING]
975
00:38:00,410 --> 00:38:02,950
GUARD: Move, move, move! Hey, hey, hey!
976
00:38:06,122 --> 00:38:07,799
GEMMA: Are you all right?
977
00:38:07,800 --> 00:38:09,799
Yeah, the bouncer really
did a number on my shoulder.
978
00:38:09,800 --> 00:38:13,009
when he pushed me for no reason!
979
00:38:13,010 --> 00:38:15,059
- What's that, then?
- Well, what did you say?
980
00:38:15,060 --> 00:38:16,939
MAYA: Here.
981
00:38:16,940 --> 00:38:18,729
- Put this there.
- [GRUNTS]
982
00:38:18,730 --> 00:38:21,529
[CLEARS THROAT] Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry.
983
00:38:21,530 --> 00:38:24,159
[ENGINE REVVING]
984
00:38:24,160 --> 00:38:26,329
- Well, help him in, man!
- CRAIG: Oh.
985
00:38:26,330 --> 00:38:27,839
- Craig.
- Okay, yeah.
986
00:38:27,840 --> 00:38:29,419
Come on, take your time. Take your time.
987
00:38:29,420 --> 00:38:30,839
Watch your step. Watch your step.
988
00:38:30,840 --> 00:38:32,719
- BASHEER: Are you okay, Kashif?
- KASH: Yeah, I'm good.
989
00:38:32,720 --> 00:38:34,059
- BASHEER: Are you okay, Kashif?
- KASH: I'm good, let's go.
990
00:38:34,060 --> 00:38:35,519
DUFFY: Hey, hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa!
991
00:38:35,520 --> 00:38:38,479
Hey, wait, wait! I'm still here!
992
00:38:38,480 --> 00:38:41,319
[TIRES SQUEALING]
993
00:38:41,320 --> 00:38:43,619
Do you want to share a cab?
994
00:38:43,620 --> 00:38:45,910
Yeah, sure.
995
00:38:47,960 --> 00:38:50,169
Hey, I could really use
some company tonight.
996
00:38:50,170 --> 00:38:52,589
CRAIG: [CHUCKLES] Well, um...
997
00:38:52,590 --> 00:38:55,599
[MELANCHOLY MUSIC]
998
00:38:55,600 --> 00:38:57,899
♪♪
999
00:38:57,900 --> 00:39:00,069
Um...
1000
00:39:00,070 --> 00:39:02,399
why don't you take
this one and I'll, uh...
1001
00:39:02,400 --> 00:39:04,409
- I'm gonna take the next one.
- But why?
1002
00:39:04,410 --> 00:39:05,829
Uh...
1003
00:39:05,830 --> 00:39:09,249
I got something I got to... do.
1004
00:39:09,250 --> 00:39:11,270
♪♪
1005
00:39:23,740 --> 00:39:25,699
Well, it all got a big
dodgy there toward the end,
1006
00:39:25,700 --> 00:39:28,709
but all in all, I needed that.
1007
00:39:28,710 --> 00:39:30,669
Thank you, Duffy.
1008
00:39:30,670 --> 00:39:31,709
What?
1009
00:39:31,710 --> 00:39:33,879
Thank you...
1010
00:39:33,880 --> 00:39:35,517
for inviting me out.
1011
00:39:36,770 --> 00:39:39,439
I was alone at home missing Quentin
1012
00:39:39,440 --> 00:39:42,690
and feeling, well, alone...
1013
00:39:44,150 --> 00:39:45,430
And this helped.
1014
00:39:46,620 --> 00:39:48,159
No problem.
1015
00:39:48,160 --> 00:39:49,660
I'm glad you came.
1016
00:39:54,380 --> 00:39:56,723
You do know you can do
better than Maya, don't you?
1017
00:40:00,350 --> 00:40:03,359
[UPLIFTING MUSIC]
1018
00:40:03,360 --> 00:40:04,989
♪♪
1019
00:40:04,990 --> 00:40:07,829
You know, if you hadn't
gotten to that guy first,
1020
00:40:07,830 --> 00:40:09,329
I would have kicked his racist ass.
1021
00:40:09,330 --> 00:40:10,709
- Oh, really?
- Yeah.
1022
00:40:10,710 --> 00:40:12,129
Where'd you learn to fight... prison?
1023
00:40:12,130 --> 00:40:13,299
Worse. High school.
1024
00:40:13,300 --> 00:40:15,339
I worked in an Oakland McDonald's.
1025
00:40:15,340 --> 00:40:17,179
Hey, two packets of
ketchup per customer.
1026
00:40:17,180 --> 00:40:19,600
- Oh, okay.
- Yeah.
1027
00:40:27,410 --> 00:40:31,789
♪♪
1028
00:40:31,790 --> 00:40:34,299
I still think about when we first met.
1029
00:40:34,300 --> 00:40:36,719
♪♪
1030
00:40:36,720 --> 00:40:39,059
BASHEER: Yo, I done
finally found parking.
1031
00:40:39,060 --> 00:40:40,349
Bloody hell.
1032
00:40:40,350 --> 00:40:43,019
These hospital car parks
are a bloody rip-off, eh?
1033
00:40:43,020 --> 00:40:44,269
It's not right, bro.
1034
00:40:44,270 --> 00:40:46,149
My brother has just been through
1035
00:40:46,150 --> 00:40:48,029
a racially motivated dust-up.
1036
00:40:48,030 --> 00:40:50,285
Should be some kind of
discounted rate for that trauma.
1037
00:40:50,286 --> 00:40:51,409
Right, yeah.
1038
00:40:51,410 --> 00:40:53,129
In fact, who is in charge
of the parking around here?
1039
00:40:53,130 --> 00:40:54,999
Big man, is it you?
1040
00:40:55,000 --> 00:40:57,299
Taking the piss, isn't it?
1041
00:40:57,300 --> 00:40:59,509
[SIGHS]
1042
00:40:59,510 --> 00:41:02,490
♪♪
1043
00:41:02,911 --> 00:41:05,911
_
1044
00:41:10,120 --> 00:41:12,959
Don't you love these? So full of whimsy.
1045
00:41:12,960 --> 00:41:14,459
And you can spell anything.
1046
00:41:14,460 --> 00:41:16,259
I know, isn't the alphabet amazing?
1047
00:41:16,260 --> 00:41:18,009
Mm.
1048
00:41:18,010 --> 00:41:20,259
[PEPPY POP MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
1049
00:41:20,260 --> 00:41:21,979
[DOOR OPENS, BELLS JINGLE]
1050
00:41:21,980 --> 00:41:23,849
AINSLEY: Oh, what?
1051
00:41:23,850 --> 00:41:25,439
I didn't cash your check, homey.
1052
00:41:25,440 --> 00:41:26,989
You want me to go find it in the trash?
1053
00:41:26,990 --> 00:41:28,609
I can, because I can no longer pay
1054
00:41:28,610 --> 00:41:30,119
my cleaning service to empty it.
1055
00:41:30,120 --> 00:41:31,909
No, I came to say thank you.
1056
00:41:31,910 --> 00:41:34,459
♪♪
1057
00:41:34,460 --> 00:41:35,657
Oh.
1058
00:41:35,658 --> 00:41:38,049
And if you're... if you're available,
1059
00:41:38,050 --> 00:41:39,929
I'd like to hire you.
1060
00:41:39,930 --> 00:41:41,219
I don't have a town house,
1061
00:41:41,220 --> 00:41:42,769
just a two-bedroom bachelor pad.
1062
00:41:42,770 --> 00:41:44,229
And I'm hard to work with.
1063
00:41:44,230 --> 00:41:46,899
Yes, yes, we'll do
it. No questions asked.
1064
00:41:46,900 --> 00:41:48,899
We desperately need the money.
1065
00:41:48,900 --> 00:41:50,199
Fine.
1066
00:41:50,200 --> 00:41:52,409
We can come over tonight
to give you an estimate.
1067
00:41:52,410 --> 00:41:54,579
- It will be very high.
- Done.
1068
00:41:54,580 --> 00:41:55,879
But it can't be tonight.
1069
00:41:55,880 --> 00:41:57,459
I'm watching the Love Chalet finale.
1070
00:41:57,460 --> 00:41:58,549
TONY 2: Mm-hmm.
1071
00:41:58,550 --> 00:41:59,799
♪♪
1072
00:41:59,800 --> 00:42:01,429
Mm-hmm.
1073
00:42:01,430 --> 00:42:03,389
[CHUCKLES] Sure.
1074
00:42:03,390 --> 00:42:07,326
TV HOST: Hello, and welcome
to the Love Chalet finale.
1075
00:42:07,327 --> 00:42:09,239
GARRETT: Zara...
1076
00:42:09,240 --> 00:42:11,239
meeting you has been the best thing
1077
00:42:11,240 --> 00:42:13,079
- that's ever happened to me.
- [ZARA CHUCKLES]
1078
00:42:13,080 --> 00:42:14,579
GARRETT: And when that motorcycle crash
1079
00:42:14,580 --> 00:42:18,759
ended my exotic-dancing
career I just thought, like...
1080
00:42:18,760 --> 00:42:21,139
"What is the point?" You know?
1081
00:42:21,140 --> 00:42:22,219
♪♪
1082
00:42:22,220 --> 00:42:24,309
But now I know.
1083
00:42:24,310 --> 00:42:27,059
- The point is you.
- [BOTH CHUCKLE]
1084
00:42:27,060 --> 00:42:29,399
Zara...
1085
00:42:29,400 --> 00:42:33,279
will you do me the
honor of being my wife?
1086
00:42:33,280 --> 00:42:34,539
[GASPS, LAUGHS]
1087
00:42:34,540 --> 00:42:38,419
[KNOCKING AT DOOR]
1088
00:42:38,420 --> 00:42:40,180
CRAIG: Damn it, Duffy.
1089
00:42:41,680 --> 00:42:43,299
Duffy?
1090
00:42:43,300 --> 00:42:45,639
[GRUNTS]
1091
00:42:45,640 --> 00:42:47,769
Hi, Craig.
1092
00:42:47,770 --> 00:42:50,779
[MELLOW MUSIC]
1093
00:42:50,780 --> 00:42:54,949
♪♪
1094
00:42:54,950 --> 00:42:57,959
[UPBEAT JAZZY MUSIC]
1095
00:42:57,960 --> 00:43:00,959
[WOMEN VOCALIZING]
1096
00:43:00,960 --> 00:43:02,589
♪♪
1097
00:43:02,590 --> 00:43:05,679
SINGER: ♪ What makes up the man ♪
1098
00:43:05,680 --> 00:43:09,149
♪ I choose to love? ♪
1099
00:43:09,150 --> 00:43:12,909
♪ Time to understand ♪
1100
00:43:12,910 --> 00:43:15,829
♪ This man I love ♪
1101
00:43:15,830 --> 00:43:19,329
♪ What secrets does he keep from me? ♪
1102
00:43:19,330 --> 00:43:22,879
♪ Too many times he's sorry ♪
1103
00:43:22,880 --> 00:43:28,099
♪ Still I choose to love him ♪
1104
00:43:28,100 --> 00:43:30,519
♪ I choose to love him ♪
1105
00:43:30,520 --> 00:43:32,699
♪ Something in my heart ♪
1106
00:43:32,700 --> 00:43:37,119
♪ Keeps sending me crying ♪
1107
00:43:37,120 --> 00:43:41,920
♪♪
1108
00:43:43,510 --> 00:43:45,533
MAN: Go to bed.
1109
00:43:45,534 --> 00:43:53,534
- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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