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1
00:00:00,540 --> 00:00:04,620
Okay, let's go get your dad. And
remember, no one say happy birthday
2
00:00:04,620 --> 00:00:05,620
gets down here, okay?
3
00:00:10,700 --> 00:00:11,080
I
4
00:00:11,080 --> 00:00:18,180
wish
5
00:00:18,180 --> 00:00:19,380
I could be happy again.
6
00:00:28,110 --> 00:00:29,610
My wishes never come true.
7
00:00:31,210 --> 00:00:32,210
Almost there.
8
00:00:33,290 --> 00:00:34,350
Where am I going?
9
00:00:34,670 --> 00:00:38,030
Faith! Hope, I appreciate the effort,
but the cheer -me -up breakfast really
10
00:00:38,030 --> 00:00:39,030
isn't working.
11
00:00:40,310 --> 00:00:42,550
You're eating Dad's birthday breakfast.
12
00:00:43,370 --> 00:00:44,370
Oh.
13
00:00:45,850 --> 00:00:48,050
I guess that does make me feel a little
better.
14
00:00:48,990 --> 00:00:50,530
I'm sorry, honey.
15
00:00:50,790 --> 00:00:53,250
We'll make it up to you tonight. We'll
have a big celebration.
16
00:00:53,670 --> 00:00:56,970
No, no, I don't want any big production.
Just a nice...
17
00:00:57,200 --> 00:00:59,620
Quiet birthday dinner with everyone I
love.
18
00:01:00,280 --> 00:01:01,720
Faith, we'll save you a piece of cake.
19
00:01:03,440 --> 00:01:04,440
That's fine.
20
00:01:04,879 --> 00:01:06,460
The Goots doesn't want me anymore.
21
00:01:07,620 --> 00:01:09,520
Why should you guys be any different?
22
00:01:11,320 --> 00:01:13,800
This is well on its way to being the
best birthday ever.
23
00:01:15,920 --> 00:01:19,520
I finally found a man to love, and I
tricked him into doing a humiliating car
24
00:01:19,520 --> 00:01:23,040
commercial just so I could have a
convertible with self -heating bucket
25
00:01:24,540 --> 00:01:25,540
I'm a monster.
26
00:01:28,110 --> 00:01:29,110
Butted monster.
27
00:01:30,450 --> 00:01:33,090
Now, Faith, why don't you just go over
to his house and apologize?
28
00:01:33,570 --> 00:01:34,890
Just ask him for his forgiveness.
29
00:01:35,250 --> 00:01:36,630
This ain't Bible time.
30
00:01:37,490 --> 00:01:39,110
This is the 2000s.
31
00:01:39,530 --> 00:01:40,750
Revenge is the new forgiveness.
32
00:01:41,150 --> 00:01:45,950
I humiliated him, and now I have to find
some way to humiliate myself.
33
00:02:03,530 --> 00:02:04,530
May I come in?
34
00:02:11,470 --> 00:02:12,470
Wow.
35
00:02:12,610 --> 00:02:13,650
Look at all that rope.
36
00:02:13,910 --> 00:02:16,050
I mean, I'm into it, but shouldn't we
have a drink first?
37
00:02:19,730 --> 00:02:21,550
I'm going rock climbing at Devil's
Point.
38
00:02:22,810 --> 00:02:23,810
What do you want?
39
00:02:23,870 --> 00:02:28,290
I brought a piece of... Just to prove
how sorry I am for humiliating you, I
40
00:02:28,290 --> 00:02:31,310
brought a basket of embarrassing moments
from my own life.
41
00:02:31,630 --> 00:02:32,870
All you needed was a basket?
42
00:02:34,359 --> 00:02:36,400
A CD I recorded in Finland.
43
00:02:36,740 --> 00:02:38,700
Just under 30 copies sold.
44
00:02:39,980 --> 00:02:41,660
The only movie I ever made.
45
00:02:42,580 --> 00:02:44,100
Weapons of Mass Seduction.
46
00:02:44,920 --> 00:02:49,020
In which I have a semi -nude love scene
with... Delta Burke.
47
00:02:55,640 --> 00:02:59,820
And finally... And this one really
hurts.
48
00:03:01,580 --> 00:03:04,500
A picture of me before my nose job.
49
00:03:08,720 --> 00:03:12,640
Did you eat ants with that thing?
50
00:03:14,720 --> 00:03:20,440
Look, I understand if you can't forgive
me, but I just want you to know that
51
00:03:20,440 --> 00:03:23,680
when I'm with you, I feel sick to my
stomach.
52
00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:26,080
I start to sweat.
53
00:03:26,520 --> 00:03:28,460
I feel faint and I can't swallow.
54
00:03:28,780 --> 00:03:30,460
And I just don't want to lose that.
55
00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:38,540
Well, to be honest, I don't feel so
great when I'm with you either.
56
00:03:39,560 --> 00:03:40,560
Really, Cooch?
57
00:03:41,580 --> 00:03:42,580
Really.
58
00:03:43,760 --> 00:03:45,200
You make me very, very sick.
59
00:04:15,660 --> 00:04:19,000
Looks like I'm going to need a bigger
basket for my humiliating things.
60
00:04:49,870 --> 00:04:50,870
What's wrong, baby?
61
00:04:51,770 --> 00:04:54,450
Oh, you finally got a maid.
62
00:04:56,610 --> 00:05:01,670
Hang up my coat, poor cuckoo. No, no,
this is my neighbor, Faith.
63
00:05:02,210 --> 00:05:08,270
Well, we're a little more than that.
64
00:05:08,470 --> 00:05:11,690
A minute ago, we were just discussing
how sick we make each other.
65
00:05:12,830 --> 00:05:15,950
Well, you're certainly making me
nauseous.
66
00:05:17,670 --> 00:05:18,670
I'm Carmen.
67
00:05:19,120 --> 00:05:20,120
The Gucci's fiancé.
68
00:05:20,700 --> 00:05:22,020
Ex -ex -fiancé.
69
00:05:22,220 --> 00:05:24,000
In fact, you never even said yes.
70
00:05:24,360 --> 00:05:25,440
Well, I'm saying it now.
71
00:05:25,660 --> 00:05:30,140
Look, I can't live without you. So if
that means living here in wherever my
72
00:05:30,140 --> 00:05:31,920
just dropped me off, then so be it.
73
00:05:32,140 --> 00:05:33,140
You have a limo?
74
00:05:33,720 --> 00:05:34,720
And a plane.
75
00:05:34,900 --> 00:05:37,820
Well, I have a daytime Emmy.
76
00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:40,460
And my own breasts.
77
00:05:44,860 --> 00:05:46,960
Really? Where do you keep them?
78
00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:02,480
after six months and expect me to take
you back. Why not? Because you just
79
00:06:02,480 --> 00:06:03,480
can't!
80
00:06:08,580 --> 00:06:11,580
You were never supportive of my career.
I mean, what's changed?
81
00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:12,920
I have.
82
00:06:13,980 --> 00:06:16,500
Please, Gooch, just have dinner with me
tonight.
83
00:06:16,740 --> 00:06:19,920
Oh, tonight is out of the question.
84
00:06:20,920 --> 00:06:26,320
Because tonight we have, uh, Charlie's
surprise birthday party.
85
00:06:26,830 --> 00:06:29,890
That's the first I've heard of that.
That's because you can't keep a secret.
86
00:06:30,410 --> 00:06:32,390
Except for the fact that you have an ex
-fiance.
87
00:06:34,690 --> 00:06:38,850
Carmen, you're invited too, but I can't
promise that anyone will stick a dollar
88
00:06:38,850 --> 00:06:39,850
bill down your pants.
89
00:06:42,390 --> 00:06:44,430
Well, we'll see about that.
90
00:06:50,310 --> 00:06:51,310
You and me.
91
00:06:51,970 --> 00:06:54,470
I can't believe you're making me do
this. Charlie hates surprises.
92
00:06:55,100 --> 00:06:56,940
and he just wanted to spend his birthday
with his family.
93
00:06:57,500 --> 00:06:58,560
Well, I had to do something.
94
00:06:59,020 --> 00:07:01,280
I couldn't let the gooch be alone with
Carmen tonight.
95
00:07:01,620 --> 00:07:03,160
I mean, look at her.
96
00:07:03,500 --> 00:07:05,680
She's cheap, trampy, and slutty.
97
00:07:06,700 --> 00:07:07,800
The girl's got it all.
98
00:07:10,160 --> 00:07:12,960
Faith, if he wants to get back with his
girlfriend, there's nothing you can do.
99
00:07:13,620 --> 00:07:15,040
Nothing I can do, Hope?
100
00:07:15,700 --> 00:07:17,200
You see that package over there?
101
00:07:18,220 --> 00:07:19,600
That's my secret weapon.
102
00:07:20,480 --> 00:07:23,680
Good, because Carmen brought her secret
weapon, and they're about to burst out
103
00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:24,680
of her dress.
104
00:07:26,080 --> 00:07:27,080
You'll see.
105
00:07:27,520 --> 00:07:29,440
The Gooch will fall in love with me
tonight.
106
00:07:30,440 --> 00:07:33,260
So, Gooch, you think you'll ever get
back into baseball?
107
00:07:33,680 --> 00:07:36,400
As a matter of fact, there's been some
interest from a Japanese team.
108
00:07:37,100 --> 00:07:38,420
The Hiroshima Carp.
109
00:07:39,640 --> 00:07:41,520
Wait a minute. I thought you'd given up
baseball.
110
00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:43,000
We thought wrong.
111
00:07:43,140 --> 00:07:44,440
Well, won't they know you're not
Japanese?
112
00:07:51,140 --> 00:07:52,380
Dad just pulled in.
113
00:07:52,700 --> 00:07:53,840
He's still gonna hate this.
114
00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:56,140
Okay, it's showtime. Everybody hide.
115
00:07:57,300 --> 00:07:58,420
Right there.
116
00:07:58,900 --> 00:07:59,940
Right here.
117
00:08:00,540 --> 00:08:02,700
Right there. That's right. Right in
there.
118
00:08:08,060 --> 00:08:09,060
Surprise!
119
00:08:10,180 --> 00:08:11,700
Oh! Oh!
120
00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:15,920
Oh! I knew it! I knew you were up to
something.
121
00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:18,680
Trying to fool me with a batch of lousy
pancakes.
122
00:08:22,990 --> 00:08:24,030
I love surprises.
123
00:08:24,610 --> 00:08:25,690
Thank you, honey.
124
00:08:27,970 --> 00:08:29,090
Gooch, my man.
125
00:08:30,230 --> 00:08:32,789
Did you know about this? You rascal,
you.
126
00:08:33,169 --> 00:08:34,169
Here, Charlie.
127
00:08:34,409 --> 00:08:35,990
Open my present first.
128
00:08:37,309 --> 00:08:38,309
Okay.
129
00:08:39,950 --> 00:08:41,070
Okay, let me help you.
130
00:08:53,070 --> 00:08:54,390
Is there someone in there?
131
00:08:57,490 --> 00:08:58,610
You guys.
132
00:09:01,430 --> 00:09:07,870
Oh, you must be the birthday boy.
133
00:09:08,510 --> 00:09:09,510
Surprise!
134
00:09:10,750 --> 00:09:11,750
Oh.
135
00:09:14,190 --> 00:09:16,110
You have really outdone yourself.
136
00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:44,840
She's hogging the mic, Hope. I want to
sing Funky Gold Medina.
137
00:09:53,560 --> 00:09:56,000
It's my turn to sing the birthday boy a
song.
138
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:19,820
You think you could teach me that hip
-grindy thing?
139
00:10:20,080 --> 00:10:21,920
Sure, you just pretend like you're...
Get out!
140
00:10:25,500 --> 00:10:26,880
You're very talented.
141
00:10:27,340 --> 00:10:28,340
Goodbye!
142
00:10:29,060 --> 00:10:30,360
Thanks, everyone, for coming.
143
00:10:31,160 --> 00:10:32,660
Hey, where's everybody going?
144
00:10:32,960 --> 00:10:34,140
The night's still young.
145
00:10:34,580 --> 00:10:37,680
Come on, baby, let's go have an after
-party. Oh, that's a great idea.
146
00:10:37,680 --> 00:10:40,120
to the Gooch's house for an after -party
party.
147
00:10:41,620 --> 00:10:43,900
Awesome! There's way more room to dance
over there.
148
00:10:44,840 --> 00:10:46,640
Hope, bring my Thriller Jack.
149
00:10:46,840 --> 00:10:47,840
Oh, shit!
150
00:11:30,570 --> 00:11:31,449
I love you.
151
00:11:31,450 --> 00:11:33,370
I love... Home!
152
00:11:33,850 --> 00:11:34,850
Now!
153
00:11:38,110 --> 00:11:42,410
Well, looks like this party is
officially over.
154
00:11:48,970 --> 00:11:49,970
Gooch!
155
00:11:50,750 --> 00:11:53,550
Hey, Gooch and I were rapping.
156
00:12:00,580 --> 00:12:03,000
So he went up the devil's point to try
to figure out which one of you two he
157
00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:05,500
wants to be with. Personally, I'm torn.
158
00:12:07,860 --> 00:12:11,460
On the one hand, I'd hate to see Faith
win.
159
00:12:12,040 --> 00:12:14,360
On the other hand, I'd like to see her
lose.
160
00:12:15,680 --> 00:12:16,780
It's the same thing.
161
00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:19,040
Oh, so then I'm not torn. Good luck,
Carmen.
162
00:12:49,070 --> 00:12:50,490
a mountain, there won't be any cell
phone reception.
163
00:12:50,690 --> 00:12:54,930
Well, then we have to go tell him. Look,
if the Gooch goes to Japan, then we
164
00:12:54,930 --> 00:12:55,930
both lose.
165
00:12:57,170 --> 00:12:58,650
So as far as I'm concerned,
166
00:12:59,370 --> 00:13:00,550
he never got the message.
167
00:13:01,590 --> 00:13:02,590
Agree?
168
00:13:04,190 --> 00:13:07,930
Oh, forget it, Carmen.
169
00:13:08,990 --> 00:13:10,510
I'm not going to do that to the Gooch.
170
00:13:11,450 --> 00:13:13,430
And if you really loved him, you
wouldn't either.
171
00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:25,480
You said this was a trail.
172
00:13:26,200 --> 00:13:27,200
It is.
173
00:13:27,580 --> 00:13:31,380
People have been by here looking around
you. There's blood everywhere.
174
00:13:34,160 --> 00:13:37,580
I've got to say, Faith, I'm proud of
you.
175
00:13:38,040 --> 00:13:42,680
For once, you're not thinking about
yourself or the fact that we're one
176
00:13:42,680 --> 00:13:44,060
couple away from certain death.
177
00:13:45,980 --> 00:13:50,080
Relax. I spoke to a psychic once who
told me I was going to live to be 95.
178
00:13:50,860 --> 00:13:51,960
Did you ask about me?
179
00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:53,440
Yeah.
180
00:13:54,050 --> 00:13:55,050
Watch your step.
181
00:13:57,130 --> 00:13:58,130
It's okay, it's okay.
182
00:14:07,470 --> 00:14:10,310
Here he is.
183
00:14:10,990 --> 00:14:12,010
This is kind of romantic.
184
00:14:49,260 --> 00:14:52,860
found you. You received a call from the
manager of the Japanese team. He's in
185
00:14:52,860 --> 00:14:54,740
town for another hour and wants to meet
with you.
186
00:14:55,740 --> 00:14:58,360
And you flew all the way up here to tell
me that?
187
00:14:59,420 --> 00:15:01,180
Wow. You have changed.
188
00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:02,520
I have.
189
00:15:02,580 --> 00:15:03,600
I really have.
190
00:15:05,440 --> 00:15:06,460
No, she hasn't.
191
00:15:06,760 --> 00:15:09,600
She's only telling him because you were
going to tell him. Now get up there and
192
00:15:09,600 --> 00:15:10,600
tell him. No.
193
00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:12,300
She already told him.
194
00:15:12,720 --> 00:15:15,060
Besides, he'll just think I'm being
petty and foolish.
195
00:15:15,580 --> 00:15:17,380
You've always been petty and foolish.
196
00:15:20,080 --> 00:15:23,580
That's sweet, but it's too late. I lost.
Now, I just want to get down from this
197
00:15:23,580 --> 00:15:26,960
mountain. No, I am not letting you give
up. Well, I'm...
198
00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:00,400
What are you guys doing here?
199
00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:02,760
Oh, hiking.
200
00:16:04,300 --> 00:16:06,260
Hope and I are way into extreme sports.
201
00:16:06,900 --> 00:16:07,900
Aren't we, Hope?
202
00:16:08,340 --> 00:16:12,600
Yeah. If I don't get my adrenaline rush,
I get real irritable.
203
00:16:14,340 --> 00:16:16,800
Okay, Faith, I'm coming down. There's no
time.
204
00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:18,039
She's right.
205
00:16:18,040 --> 00:16:21,580
You have to go now, or you'll miss your
meeting with Mr. Yamagoto.
206
00:16:22,280 --> 00:16:23,280
How do you know about that?
207
00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:26,980
She climbed up this mountain to tell
you, which is a lot harder than flying,
208
00:16:26,980 --> 00:16:27,980
the way.
209
00:16:29,240 --> 00:16:30,240
Go.
210
00:16:30,440 --> 00:16:34,460
Worst comes to worst, hope cuts off my
legs and carries me down.
211
00:16:35,740 --> 00:16:37,180
See, they'll be fine. Let's go.
212
00:16:37,780 --> 00:16:39,960
I just can't leave her here. It's going
to be dark soon.
213
00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:42,400
So let me get this straight.
214
00:16:42,700 --> 00:16:46,440
All these years, I've been trying to get
you to pick me over baseball, and now
215
00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:50,180
you're willing to just give it all up
for some have -been -wedged -in -a
216
00:16:50,440 --> 00:16:51,440
Hey!
217
00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:57,480
For your information, the crack is
wedged in the head.
218
00:17:07,050 --> 00:17:08,049
Pick me up.
219
00:17:08,050 --> 00:17:09,050
It's over.
220
00:17:09,130 --> 00:17:10,130
For good.
221
00:17:10,849 --> 00:17:14,810
And by the way, I think it's pretty
pathetic you have to go to Japan to play
222
00:17:14,810 --> 00:17:15,810
baseball.
223
00:17:29,750 --> 00:17:32,190
Well, there goes our ride.
224
00:17:33,030 --> 00:17:35,190
Don't worry. I didn't feel like
climbing, so I drove up.
225
00:17:38,060 --> 00:17:39,180
Throw up.
226
00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:43,000
Oh.
227
00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:47,100
So that's where Devil's Point Road
leads.
228
00:17:53,020 --> 00:17:54,020
Hey.
229
00:17:59,440 --> 00:18:01,980
Might want to find some other spot for
your hideaway key.
230
00:18:02,940 --> 00:18:03,940
How you feeling?
231
00:18:05,340 --> 00:18:06,380
I'm a little sore.
232
00:18:07,130 --> 00:18:10,430
But the good news is I won't have to wax
my legs until my skin grows back.
233
00:18:11,770 --> 00:18:14,550
Thanks for saving me.
234
00:18:15,670 --> 00:18:16,670
You're my hero.
235
00:18:17,050 --> 00:18:19,770
Yeah. I didn't want to go play baseball
in Japan anyway.
236
00:18:20,490 --> 00:18:24,890
I mean, the one time I was there,
everyone thought I was Eric Estrada.
237
00:18:26,910 --> 00:18:27,910
Oh.
238
00:18:28,930 --> 00:18:32,770
Um, well, then I guess I could always
just return this then.
239
00:18:33,250 --> 00:18:34,250
What's that?
240
00:18:35,090 --> 00:18:36,170
It's a ticket to Japan.
241
00:18:36,990 --> 00:18:41,310
It gets into Tokyo at 2 p .m., day after
tomorrow, one hour before your meeting
242
00:18:41,310 --> 00:18:42,310
with Mr. Yamagoto.
243
00:18:45,030 --> 00:18:50,290
Faith, this is... This is the most
generous thing anyone's ever done for
244
00:18:50,950 --> 00:18:51,950
Oh.
245
00:18:52,670 --> 00:18:53,890
It wasn't that generous.
246
00:18:54,330 --> 00:18:57,330
I mean, I used your credit card.
247
00:18:59,130 --> 00:19:02,190
Like I said, you should really find
another spot for your hideaway key.
248
00:19:02,850 --> 00:19:03,850
And your wallet.
249
00:19:05,030 --> 00:19:06,030
But look, I...
250
00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:07,600
Put a couple of pictures of me inside.
251
00:19:12,220 --> 00:19:16,980
But if I end up playing in Japan, what's
that mean for us?
252
00:19:17,660 --> 00:19:18,660
You know what they say.
253
00:19:19,420 --> 00:19:23,160
If you love someone, let them go play
baseball in Japan.
254
00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:28,900
If they come back, greet them at the
airport in nothing but high heels and a
255
00:19:28,900 --> 00:19:29,900
trench coat.
256
00:19:31,720 --> 00:19:32,720
That's hot.
257
00:19:38,410 --> 00:19:39,670
I guess your timing stinks, huh?
258
00:19:40,710 --> 00:19:41,710
Oh.
259
00:19:42,990 --> 00:19:47,710
What kind of us would there be if I
asked you to pick me over your dream?
260
00:20:11,980 --> 00:20:13,580
I think I just got gooch bumps.
18249
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