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1
00:01:26,250 --> 00:01:29,690
The creature, known only as the Hulk,
rampaged through Las Vegas last night
2
00:01:29,690 --> 00:01:32,790
during a battle with a similar monster
authorities are referring to as the
3
00:01:32,790 --> 00:01:37,030
Abomination. Police and military
combined were unable to stop the two
4
00:01:37,030 --> 00:01:39,470
behemoths from trashing several casinos.
5
00:01:39,730 --> 00:01:43,190
With damages running into the millions,
it's amazing no one was killed.
6
00:01:43,650 --> 00:01:45,570
Neither of the creature's whereabouts is
known.
7
00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:56,760
dump, Fury.
8
00:01:57,280 --> 00:02:01,600
The Fantastic Four get the Baxter
building, and we get an old abandoned
9
00:02:01,600 --> 00:02:03,200
warehouse down by the wharf.
10
00:02:03,860 --> 00:02:09,000
I don't expect anyone who walks around
in a blue helmet to understand what
11
00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:10,000
doing here.
12
00:02:10,160 --> 00:02:11,700
It's called being low -key.
13
00:02:15,940 --> 00:02:17,440
My name is Nick Fury.
14
00:02:18,360 --> 00:02:21,160
I'm the director of S .H .I .E .L .D.
and your host for today.
15
00:02:21,520 --> 00:02:23,420
Gotta say, the host, Fury?
16
00:02:24,060 --> 00:02:26,780
I really like your sausage -to -biscuit
ratio.
17
00:02:27,340 --> 00:02:33,260
Now the mouth here is Hawkeye. Going
around the table, we have the Scarlet
18
00:02:33,260 --> 00:02:40,080
Witch, Miss Marvel, as well as Spider
-Woman, both of whom work for me. I
19
00:02:40,080 --> 00:02:41,420
don't understand what we're doing here.
20
00:02:42,320 --> 00:02:46,180
S .H .I .E .L .D. wants a team of
superheroes in the public eye.
21
00:02:46,860 --> 00:02:49,840
Job one, the Hulk.
22
00:02:51,420 --> 00:02:55,440
Well, well, well, what a classy joint
you got here, Fury. What happened?
23
00:02:56,600 --> 00:02:58,500
Congress, uh, cut your budget?
24
00:02:58,860 --> 00:03:00,320
You all know Iron Man.
25
00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:01,940
He's the one that's late.
26
00:03:02,300 --> 00:03:06,140
Well, you see, boys and girls, it's
because I was out actually saving lives.
27
00:03:06,560 --> 00:03:08,140
Maybe you should try it sometime.
28
00:03:08,640 --> 00:03:12,320
The world doesn't come to a stop just
because the Hulk comes around and scares
29
00:03:12,320 --> 00:03:13,099
few people.
30
00:03:13,100 --> 00:03:14,300
Abomination was a threat.
31
00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:15,900
The Hulk stopped it.
32
00:03:17,160 --> 00:03:21,280
Are you telling me that you think that
the living laser and the constrictor are
33
00:03:21,280 --> 00:03:22,540
more of a threat than the Hulk?
34
00:03:25,340 --> 00:03:27,260
Oh, Carol, look at you.
35
00:03:28,460 --> 00:03:33,540
Not quite sure what the Skrulls did to
you, hon, but it looks to me like you
36
00:03:33,540 --> 00:03:34,960
a fetish for green guys.
37
00:03:35,860 --> 00:03:40,200
You have no idea what you're talking
about. You're a fucking fool running
38
00:03:40,200 --> 00:03:44,620
in an expensive suit, one publicity
stunt after another. Fuck you.
39
00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:49,980
I've silenced all sound waves but mine
at the moment.
40
00:03:50,720 --> 00:03:52,140
I'd like to say two things.
41
00:03:53,260 --> 00:03:55,500
First, you guys are acting like
children.
42
00:03:55,860 --> 00:03:57,860
Second, I don't work for the government.
43
00:04:04,740 --> 00:04:05,740
Wanda, wait!
44
00:04:18,980 --> 00:04:20,880
Jarvis, let's go autopilot to Death
Valley.
45
00:04:21,680 --> 00:04:22,680
I'm gonna take a nap.
46
00:04:55,150 --> 00:04:57,770
Natasha. I heard you're on a special
mission for Fury.
47
00:04:59,070 --> 00:05:00,070
I was.
48
00:05:00,770 --> 00:05:01,770
I'm back.
49
00:05:05,170 --> 00:05:06,890
I also heard about you and Stark.
50
00:05:08,030 --> 00:05:10,390
You heard wrong. That was insistent.
51
00:05:13,890 --> 00:05:15,350
Strictly professional now, huh?
52
00:05:16,870 --> 00:05:18,570
You know who I am and what I'm about.
53
00:05:19,560 --> 00:05:21,420
I hear they want you to open a West
Coast branch.
54
00:05:22,840 --> 00:05:24,120
Seems like you hear everything.
55
00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:26,760
Come to say goodbye?
56
00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:29,120
No.
57
00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:34,680
To say hello.
58
00:08:04,080 --> 00:08:05,080
Please.
59
00:09:41,550 --> 00:09:42,550
Ah.
60
00:12:19,880 --> 00:12:20,880
Oh, no.
61
00:13:19,390 --> 00:13:22,190
um um
62
00:23:31,820 --> 00:23:32,820
You need to come with me.
63
00:23:35,400 --> 00:23:37,600
I've had satellites tracking you for two
days now.
64
00:23:37,980 --> 00:23:39,200
Can't go home empty -handed.
65
00:23:41,100 --> 00:23:42,860
Okay. Hard way it is.
66
00:25:01,580 --> 00:25:02,580
Azalea?
67
00:25:05,380 --> 00:25:06,380
Call S .H .I .E .L .D.
68
00:25:24,580 --> 00:25:27,740
Well, the Avengers are off to an
auspicious beginning.
69
00:25:28,840 --> 00:25:29,840
Worse than that.
70
00:25:30,190 --> 00:25:32,490
Iron Man just got his ass handed to him
by Hulk.
71
00:25:32,690 --> 00:25:33,690
Really?
72
00:25:34,050 --> 00:25:36,270
150 miles with one punch.
73
00:25:37,070 --> 00:25:39,230
Good. That's good.
74
00:25:41,250 --> 00:25:42,690
Set up another meeting.
75
00:25:43,930 --> 00:25:45,510
Make sure Stark comes.
76
00:25:47,750 --> 00:25:49,930
You're really excited about this, aren't
you?
77
00:25:51,170 --> 00:25:52,170
I am.
78
00:25:54,050 --> 00:25:56,210
We should do something about that.
79
00:27:28,499 --> 00:27:33,060
Slowly slowly piss don't you fucking
bite my dick Sharon
80
00:27:54,330 --> 00:27:56,390
Let me see your tongue, let me see your
tongue for a second.
81
00:28:32,080 --> 00:28:33,760
Oh, shit.
82
00:28:34,580 --> 00:28:35,580
Yeah.
83
00:28:38,120 --> 00:28:41,260
Oh, you fucking... Oh,
84
00:28:42,060 --> 00:28:45,540
yes. Take a look at my dick. Grab that.
85
00:28:46,680 --> 00:28:47,680
Yeah.
86
00:28:48,180 --> 00:28:51,840
Squeeze it. Make up almost my face, huh?
It's like it's your dick next to her
87
00:28:51,840 --> 00:28:52,679
and it's your face.
88
00:28:52,680 --> 00:28:53,680
Yeah.
89
00:28:54,500 --> 00:28:59,520
Oh, no teeth on that thing. No teeth.
Just your tongue, dude.
90
00:28:59,880 --> 00:29:00,880
Just your tongue, yeah.
91
00:29:02,600 --> 00:29:03,159
Oh,
92
00:29:03,160 --> 00:29:12,520
you
93
00:29:12,520 --> 00:29:14,140
fucking rat. Ooh.
94
00:29:14,820 --> 00:29:16,340
Ooh. Yeah.
95
00:30:37,520 --> 00:30:38,520
DICK
96
00:32:07,800 --> 00:32:12,600
If I want to put you inside my pussy,
huh?
97
00:32:12,900 --> 00:32:14,440
You know I'm a strong woman.
98
00:33:55,899 --> 00:33:58,700
Yes. Oh
99
00:33:58,700 --> 00:34:04,140
yeah.
100
00:34:48,830 --> 00:34:49,830
Yeah,
101
00:34:49,989 --> 00:34:51,550
you would be in charge. Go ahead and
fuck me then.
102
00:34:51,969 --> 00:34:52,969
Go ahead.
103
00:34:54,889 --> 00:34:58,970
Fuck my ass. Oh, that feels so good.
Yeah. It's so hot in there.
104
00:34:59,350 --> 00:35:00,370
I don't know what.
105
00:35:01,230 --> 00:35:04,710
Is it wrong that my fucking asshole gets
wet whenever you stick your big cock
106
00:35:04,710 --> 00:35:05,710
inside it?
107
00:35:06,670 --> 00:35:09,450
It's even hotter than a fucking pussy,
isn't it? Yeah, that's it.
108
00:35:11,130 --> 00:35:14,570
And it just sucks just fucking tasting
your hands hanging in that goddamn
109
00:35:14,570 --> 00:35:15,570
asshole under it.
110
00:35:16,520 --> 00:35:17,900
Oh, yeah.
111
00:35:18,560 --> 00:35:19,700
Fuck me.
112
00:35:20,440 --> 00:35:25,060
I'm a hard fucking dick inside my
asshole.
113
00:36:44,490 --> 00:36:47,290
Yes. Yes.
114
00:37:03,500 --> 00:37:05,040
I could do a little fucking horror with.
115
00:37:35,470 --> 00:37:36,470
Go ahead and grab it.
116
00:38:53,740 --> 00:38:55,400
I've been sweating my fucking ass.
117
00:39:40,150 --> 00:39:44,490
Yeah? Oh, God, I get this fucking
beautiful, beautiful booty.
118
00:39:45,050 --> 00:39:47,950
Oh, I get to put my dick in your fucking
ass.
119
00:39:48,610 --> 00:39:50,590
Whenever I fucking want to.
120
00:39:51,430 --> 00:39:52,910
Oh, shut up.
121
00:39:53,450 --> 00:39:56,070
You know I'm not good at taking your
fucking orders. Yes.
122
00:39:56,430 --> 00:39:59,090
I'm going to slit your goddamn dick. Oh,
fuck.
123
00:40:11,169 --> 00:40:12,490
What? I want to work for you.
124
00:41:43,150 --> 00:41:44,150
I see you're excited.
125
00:43:22,990 --> 00:43:23,990
That's pretty amazing.
126
00:43:25,050 --> 00:43:28,430
Compared to my abilities, mine are
mostly impossible.
127
00:43:29,650 --> 00:43:32,090
I'm like a freight train. I'm mapping.
128
00:43:32,590 --> 00:43:36,390
But your magic is subtle.
129
00:43:36,790 --> 00:43:38,030
It's not magic.
130
00:43:40,170 --> 00:43:41,170
Really,
131
00:43:42,650 --> 00:43:44,110
I thought everyone does.
132
00:43:45,190 --> 00:43:47,210
My mutant power alters probability.
133
00:43:47,910 --> 00:43:50,350
If I concentrate hard enough...
134
00:43:50,760 --> 00:43:52,480
I can almost make anything happen.
135
00:43:53,640 --> 00:43:55,980
Well, read my mind then.
136
00:43:58,940 --> 00:43:59,960
Almost anything.
137
00:44:01,480 --> 00:44:04,800
That's a shame. You would really like
what I was thinking.
138
00:44:06,760 --> 00:44:07,940
Why don't you tell me?
139
00:44:09,560 --> 00:44:13,360
I was thinking that you were dangerous
and beautiful.
140
00:46:25,069 --> 00:46:27,870
um um
141
00:46:27,870 --> 00:46:42,490
um
142
00:46:51,520 --> 00:46:52,900
I love you.
143
00:48:43,480 --> 00:48:46,280
um um
144
00:49:24,040 --> 00:49:25,040
oh
145
00:50:43,109 --> 00:50:45,910
Thank you.
146
00:51:15,100 --> 00:51:17,900
Um. Um.
147
00:51:59,370 --> 00:52:02,170
um um
148
00:53:09,870 --> 00:53:14,590
I love you.
149
00:59:39,280 --> 00:59:41,980
I try not to concern myself with the
affairs of mortals.
150
00:59:44,820 --> 00:59:47,600
Save those which stem from my brother
Loki, of course.
151
00:59:49,160 --> 00:59:50,160
I understand.
152
00:59:50,880 --> 00:59:52,920
My cousin is a terrifying enemy.
153
00:59:54,660 --> 00:59:56,500
Green is a scary color.
154
00:59:58,180 --> 01:00:01,140
Odin's beard, you women of Midgard, are
so insolent.
155
01:00:02,260 --> 01:00:05,660
I was the one who lifted the Midgard
serpent.
156
01:00:08,400 --> 01:00:10,400
I defeated Surtur in hand -to -hand
combat.
157
01:00:11,640 --> 01:00:13,500
I even walked in Hela's realm.
158
01:00:13,780 --> 01:00:16,020
And you think I'd quail at the Hulk?
159
01:00:17,140 --> 01:00:18,140
Any Hulk?
160
01:00:22,640 --> 01:00:24,400
I guess we're about to find out.
161
01:02:05,200 --> 01:02:06,200
Amen.
162
01:02:35,880 --> 01:02:36,880
Ah.
163
01:03:14,990 --> 01:03:15,990
mm -hmm
164
01:05:29,610 --> 01:05:30,610
Yeah.
165
01:08:06,560 --> 01:08:09,360
Oh, yeah.
166
01:14:22,230 --> 01:14:23,630
Good.
167
01:14:30,290 --> 01:14:33,230
Real hard.
168
01:14:33,470 --> 01:14:34,470
Real hard.
169
01:14:35,390 --> 01:14:36,790
Yes.
170
01:15:21,210 --> 01:15:23,050
Come on Thor, come on.
171
01:15:27,280 --> 01:15:28,860
Oh. Oh.
172
01:17:43,880 --> 01:17:45,340
Nobody invited you, wall crawler.
173
01:17:46,020 --> 01:17:48,180
No, but they invited the William Tell
wannabe.
174
01:17:48,860 --> 01:17:50,400
Hey, kid, knock it off. You're out of
line.
175
01:18:32,240 --> 01:18:33,240
to the squad.
176
01:18:39,120 --> 01:18:41,560
So, this isn't about Thor, is it?
177
01:18:41,840 --> 01:18:44,320
Because seriously, it is. I'm likely to
hurl in my mask.
178
01:18:45,720 --> 01:18:47,140
No, it isn't.
179
01:18:47,460 --> 01:18:53,140
But listen, this team, the Avengers,
it's for the public so people feel safe.
180
01:18:53,980 --> 01:18:55,720
I see people every day.
181
01:18:56,900 --> 01:18:59,300
True, but you have an image problem.
182
01:18:59,640 --> 01:19:01,840
I have an image problem? I have an image
problem.
183
01:19:02,240 --> 01:19:03,240
Really?
184
01:19:05,080 --> 01:19:06,780
Yeah, you kind of got a point there,
actually.
185
01:19:08,720 --> 01:19:09,860
Don't worry about it, though.
186
01:19:10,220 --> 01:19:12,200
You're a lot more interesting than Thor.
187
01:20:12,010 --> 01:20:13,010
Oh my god!
188
01:20:56,720 --> 01:20:57,720
Bye.
189
01:21:40,430 --> 01:21:41,430
Oh.
190
01:22:41,380 --> 01:22:43,040
It's good.
191
01:23:28,040 --> 01:23:34,040
I like that color.
192
01:23:52,140 --> 01:23:54,940
um um
193
01:41:15,180 --> 01:41:16,340
Guess I'm not going after the Hulk.
194
01:41:17,820 --> 01:41:20,740
If it makes you feel any better, I'm not
going either.
195
01:41:21,840 --> 01:41:22,840
I'm going to go with you.
196
01:41:24,460 --> 01:41:25,460
Wait, where are we going?
197
01:41:28,080 --> 01:41:30,020
The Arctic Circle, huh?
198
01:41:33,260 --> 01:41:35,160
Halfway around the world with this
clown?
199
01:41:35,760 --> 01:41:37,500
Yip -dee -fucking -doo.
200
01:41:39,240 --> 01:41:42,080
You know, telling you to shut up,
Barton, is becoming old.
201
01:41:44,320 --> 01:41:49,840
So, what exactly is in the Arctic
Circle? Other than the...
202
01:42:23,980 --> 01:42:25,040
Is that what I think it is?
203
01:43:22,570 --> 01:43:23,970
Thank you.
13365
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