All language subtitles for Pose.S03E04.Take.Me.to.Church.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-FLUX_track3_[eng]

Girl, if you don't stop

- all that fidgeting.
- I-I'm... What?

I'm sorry,
I can't-I can't control it.

I'm just nervous.

I am, too.
But we're in good hands.

You have swollen lymph nodes.

It's very common
for people with AIDS.

When we get back the results of
the biopsy from Dr. Greenberg,

- we'll have a better idea.
- Well, whatever it is, I hope

it gets rid of these
night sweats.

I haven't had
a full night's sleep in weeks.

May I have a word with, uh...
Pray Tell alone?

Uh, no, stay.
They...

These women are family.

The tissue samples
confirmed my suspicion.

You have
AIDS-related lymphoma.

- Cancer?
- Yes.

The T cells we need
to boost your immunity

and fight the cancer
aren't there.

This makes it almost impossible
for me to treat you safely.

What about, um... chemo?

Chemotherapy could
kill the cancer,

but it'd also kill you.

Uh, how... how long do I have?

At most, six months.

Fuck him.
Smug motherfucker.

I can tell you, I've seen

a dozen AIDS patients
just like you--

night sweats, fevers,
swollen glands--

gone on to recover and live.

And we're getting
a second opinion.

Pray. Pray.

- Where'd you go?

- You okay?
- I'm fine. I'm fine.

Don't y'all worry about me.
Ain't no white man

in a lab coat and cheap shoes
gonna tell me

- I got to throw in the towel.
- Amen.

I've always known I was
living on limited time.

But now...

I know know.

And I have to use
this time wisely.

Yeah.

I have to tell
the people I love

that I love them.

- I love you, Pray.
- I love you, too.

I love y'all.

And there are some other people
who need to hear that from me.

Some folks I got to forgive.

Live...

Work...

Pose!

- GIRLS
Go, Pray. Go, Pray.

- Go, Pray, hey, hey, go, Pray.

Go, Pray. Go, Pray.
Hey, hey, go, Pray.

- Go, Pray. Go, Pray.
-Prayerful?

- Is that you, baby?
- Hi, Mommy.

- I thought I'd surprise you.
- Ooh,

what a blessing

after all these years.

Oh, my God.

How long I got you?

- For as long as you'll have me.
- Oh! You hungry?

- Mm.
- I'm making catfish
for lunch. Oh.

Is Auntie Latrice and Jada
coming over?

Does a one-legged duck
swim in a circle?

Nah, even hypertension can't
keep Latrice from my cooking.

Look at you!
Come in here.

Mmm! Mmm, mmm, mmm.

Mmm.
Frying up real nice.

-- Mm, sure is.
-- It is.

Is this real silk?

Yes, of course.

- You think I'd wear rayon?
- Should I

pull out your
high school yearbook?

- You weren't always a swan.
- Eh...

How much a silk shirt like that
run you-- hundred, $200?

How gauche.

You can call me
all the names you want,

but the money
you spend on clothes--

you could fix the leak
in that church roof.

Oh, stop it, now.

It's enough chitter-chatter.

My baby is home.

And you have to tell us
about your life in New York.

-Mm.
- It's good.

It's fine.

Mm-hmm.

Challenging.

That's why I'm visiting.

- Most I can lend you is $50.
- Oh, hush up, now.

Baby, is that why you came home?
That... You need money?

No, Mommy.

- Okay.

I came to share something
with you.

Well, it can't be worse
than the last time

- you gathered us for a meal.
- You mean that time

I bared my soul
to the women I love

and bravely told them I was gay?

Oh, Lord, here we go again.

If I have to hear about

your sexuality one more time.

I do not talk
about my sex life.

- That's 'cause you ain't got
no sex life to talk about.

I'm not here
to talk about my sexuality.

I'm here to talk
about my health.

Is it the sugars?

No, I don't have diabetes.

-Well, what is it--

sickle cell?
Asthma?

No. I don't know any other way
to say this, so...

I have AIDS.

I'm dying.

I have been...

...HIV positive for six years,

and I didn't want
to burden y'all until

it became serious.

I know that we've already
been through so much.

Mommy, I'm not trying
to upset you.

- Uh-uh.
- And I'm so sorry.

- I'm sorry.
- Mm-mm.

- I'm really sorry.
- Mm-mm.

- Mm-mm.
- Mommy. Mommy...

Pray, let her go, baby.

See, I always knew this would
happen. Heavenly Father,

- save his soul...
- Stop it.

- from eternal damnation.
- Please, please,

please, please stop.

I don't need your prayers.

I need your love.

I never stopped loving you.

Hate the sin,

- love the sinner.
- Oh, Jesus.

Which is why
I care about your soul.

Just shut your ole big mouth.

If you cared about
the state of anyone's soul,

then you would have
stood up for me

when the church judged me
for getting a divorce.

You had a child out of wedlock
with a married man!

I lost my community.

All because of some outdated law

that was created by men
some 3,000 years ago.

No, God's word is immutable.

Divorce, homosexuality,
pedophilia...

No, no, no. Don't put
those words beside each other.

Your god made me this way,

and there is nothing
wrong with me.

God made you in His image.

Everything else is a choice.

You think it was a choice

for me to be called "faggot"
and beat

every day of my childhood?

You think it was a choice

for me to lose every man
I've ever loved?

Sometimes I think I wouldn't
even have this disease

if it wasn't for the church
and how y'all treated me.

I...

That's where
the troubles started.

The drinking
and the drugging and...

the one-night stands and...

I'm so sorry.

Pray, I didn't know.

I know that I can't undo
what's already been done,

but I need you to know
I've always loved you, Pray.

And I promise you I will be
there with you until the end.

Mm.

Now, look,
I'm-a go find your mama

before she spirals
into one of her fits.

Charlene?

I am here for you, too, Pray.

Even though, sometimes, we have
not always seen eye-to-eye.

- Where you going?
- Church.

I got to get my soloist together
for Sunday service,

and I could use some company.

I'm not going
to that wretched place.

Watch your mouth.

A visit will do you some good.

And you gonna like
the new pastor.

Who is it?

Vernon Jackson.

You got to be kidding me.

God forgives and God forgets.

Come on!

Hold on.
I got an idea.

Devin, you come in
after Angela right here.

- Let's try that.
-Okay.

-Ooh, yes.

Good job, good job.
Come on.

Y'all better sing!

Hi.

Thank you.
Thank you, Sister Williams.

Sister Simms.
Brother Walker.

Pastor Vernon Jackson.

I never thought
I'd be calling you that.

It's good to see you,
Brother Pray.

It's been, what-- uh, 20 years?

- 25.
- Mm.

To what do I owe this pleasure?

What if I said
I was here to see you?

I'm married, Pray.

Who'd you convince?

Cheryl?

Tina?

Ebony.

We have three kids.

- Ebony Alexander?
- Mm-hmm.

You married
my high school best friend?

You know I told her every

intimate detail
of our love affair.

She knows your truth

and He knows your past.

I'm living my truth.

And I'm happy.
It took some time,

but I resolved those feelings.

With Ebony's help.
I made a choice,

and I decided to give my life
over to Christ, fully.

This is my home.

I thought I was your home.

That's what you said.

When we were young,
that's what you said.

Was that a lie?

No, I-I... I loved you.

And I'm not ashamed of what
you once meant to me,

but you were asking me to step
away from the church, and I...

No, no, no, no, the church
stepped away from me.

And I'm not the only one.

Every year I watch
hundreds of kids

flock to the city,

looking for what they lost

after the church
threw them away.

That's what your church do...

That's what your church did.

To me.

If you just got down
on your knees, I promise you...

Oh, trust, I have
been down on my knees.

And I have received
many blessings from many men.

You know, it's never
too late for salvation.

Yeah, well,
it's too late for me.

I'm dying.

- What?
- Yeah.

How?

You already know.

Same thing
that's killing all of us.

Us?

Yeah.

- Us.

Wait, Pray. I-I want you
to come over tonight.

Uh, for dinner

- with Ebony and the kids.
- That is a terrible idea.

"Be angry and do not sin;

"do not let the sun
go down on your anger,

and do not give opportunity
to the devil."

Really?

You quoting scripture?

I see you finally decided
to come out of your room.

You want to talk?

Mommy, I need you
to say something.

There's nothing
to talk about, baby.

What's done is done.

I knew you were gonna
get that thing

once you told me
you were gay.

I saw Vernon today.

I'm off to dinner
with him and Ebony tonight.

Prayerful,

I don't want you
starting any trouble

with Pastor Vernon.

He's been good
for this community.

And he has helped me
out of some darker times

you could not imagine.

What dark times?

The times when I was so alone

I could barely get out of bed.

The times when I was
so worried about you

and what you were doing

and-and what kind of trouble
you were getting into.

You have no idea

how hurtful it is to have a son

who turns his back
on everything you taught him.

Huh?
Who blatantly

refuses the word of God?

I care about your soul, Pray.

- I care about your soul.
- No,

no, all you care about

is what everybody at the church

thinks about you.

Not me or my soul.

If you did, you-you...

you wouldn't have
let your husband

do the things that he did to me
for all those years.

You know I didn't know
what Ernest was doing.

I told you!
I told you everything!

And he stopped, didn't he?

Yeah, after I got old enough
to push him off me.

- Well, what was I
supposed to do?
- You were supposed

to believe me
and then leave him!

I could not raise you on my own.

- You needed a father.
- No.

You needed a husband

to save face and keep up
appearances with the church.

You have no idea
what it was like

for me to find my way
in this world.

Now, your father
was a good man

and I wish the Lord
hadn't taken him so young,

but when he died,
I needed a man.

Now, Ernest wasn't perfect,
but he provided for us.

So, why don't you just...

why don't you just move on?

- I have moved on.
- Okay.

Just let it be. I mean,
you've been gone 20 years.

Let the past lie.

Okay.

Good job, everyone.

I'll see you on Sunday
at worship.

-- Okay.
-- Yes, ma'am.

Do you want to walk home
together?

Yeah, I'd like that.

You always look so happy
when you're singing.

I love to sing to the Lord.

I wish I sang as good as you.

You have a special gift, Pray.

You really think I have a gift?

You're my favorite singer.

Didn't I tell these boys
to put away the hymnals?

Prayerful!

Oh, come on, Freddy.
You know this one.

- I know! I know!
-Yeah, let Freddy

have his turn, honey.

"And we know that
all things work together

"for good to them
that love God,

and to them who are the called
according to purpose."

-There you go.
- Hey, great job. That's my boy.

- That's my son.
-My turn,

- my turn.
- Okay, let me
give you a good one.

Uh... how about

- Romans8.
- Mm.

"Owe no one anything except
to love each other; for the one

who loves another
has fulfilled the law."

-- Oh, so good.
-- Oh. Great job.

- Oh. Uh, honey...
- Oh.

- we're-we're at dinner.
- I know,

I know, um,
just give me a moment.

You guys were amazing.
That was amazing.

-Hello? Yes.

Oh. Okay.

I'll be there in ten minutes.
Thank you.

Mrs. Williams is near the end.

I won't be long.
Uh,

will you be here
when I get back, Pray?

Of course he will.

I could use some help
cleaning the dishes.

Well, and you know I always
know the dish, darling.

- Yes, you do.

All right, you two behave.

Okay, kids, clear your plates.

Well, y'all raised some smart
and well-behaved children.

- Mm. Thank you.

I've raised a few myself,
although I doubt any of them

- can recite Bible verses.
- Oh...

Although they do know
all the lyrics

to every Whitney and Janet song.

Uh...

so do I.

You do remember that

- I had all the moves
back in the day, right?
- Mm.

- Mm...
- Oh!

Yes! Cheerleading captain,
prom queen.

- Yeah, you still got it, girl.

I can hear you thinking,

"Why did that girl
marry Vernon?"

Well, I do have to admit

I had to fix my face
when Vernon told me.

- Mm.
- Girl, you could've had anybody.

Yeah.
Vernon is a good man.

I believe in him.
What he's built, his mission,

what he means to the community.

See, Pray Tell, that's what
marriage is all about.

You take the good with the bad.

And so you just turn a blind eye

to the fact that
your husband is gay?

I know my husband.
And I trust him.

And I don't want
to rock this boat.

But I do need your help.

And I'm asking as an old friend.

You notice how
there's five years

between Cynthia and the baby?

Yeah, it's because, uh...

well, he wouldn't lay with me
in all that time.

I know how you two

were together
back in the school days.

And I hear how Vernon
talks to you.

And I see how you look at him.

But I do want to...

I want to make him feel good.

Ebony, you're asking me

to tell you
how to pleasure your man?

Yes.

Sweetheart...

- your husband is a homosexual.
- No.

- He likes men.
- No.

There's nothing you can do
to change that.

No, he is a strong, good,
God-fearing man.

The good Lord
wouldn't give Vernon

something that
he couldn't overcome.

He is just as God made him.

It's not a choice.

But you are making a choice.

- Why?
- Because I believe in marriage.

How many marriages
that aren't as strong as ours

are gonna break apart
if ours breaks apart?

Your marriage is not strong.

It's built on sinking sand.
I know, I know...

that your church teaches you
that there's no higher calling

than to stand by your man.

Men created those lies
so that they could act out

and then come back home
whenever they wanted to.

What does that mean?
Hmm?

That even in their own churches,

Black folks worship a white man.

Jesus didn't absolve our sins
through joy and peace.

The crucifixion
was torture and pain.

That's the Lord telling us
that life is violent.

Life is cruel.

Life hurts.

But the more we hurt,

the closer we are to God.

Your god sounds
like a real asshole.

Pray Tell.

It's so hard.

I need your help.

Please.

I can't...

Baby, Mama's coming.

-Oh, hey, Pray.

How'd it go?

Mrs. Williams passed peacefully.

Just never get used to it.

- No, you don't.
- So, how'd it go in here?

Did you spill any secrets?

I didn't have to.

You know, it's a nice night out.

Let's go for a walk.

Does it look different?

The only thing
that's changed is us.

The years have been
kind to you, Pastor Vernon.

Well, thank you.

No, you're supposed to say
"You, too."

I see some things never change.

I got to teach you everything.

Well, from what I recall,

we taught each other a lot
right here.

All the things
that really matter.

I've missed you so much.

Fix it, Jesus.

I've never stopped
loving you, Pray.

Dear Heavenly Father,
I ask you to come

and save Vernon from himself.

Forgive him for the wreckage
that he's about to create,

and give him some sense,
in Jesus' name. Amen.

Don't be flip.
This is my life, Pray.

What do you want, Vernon?

Seeing you again.

Reflecting on our past.

You have reawakened something
within me.

You were right
all those years ago.

I should have gone with you.

But I was too scared.

But you have a wife
and kids.

You-you can't abandon them.

You asked me what I want.

This is what I want.

I don't... I don't have
much longer.

I don't care.

I just want to be with you.

But you have your family
and your, and your congregation.

I can't... I can't let you
blow up your life

for six months with me.

That's my choice to make.

I wish I'd made it back then,
but I-I'm making it now.

I'm dying, Vernon.

I'm dying of AIDS.

I was with you in the beginning.

Let me be there for you
in the end.

You are the love

of my life, Pray.

Don't you want our story
to have a different ending?

Rewriting... my past
is not gonna change my future.

I know how my story ends.

You want to rewrite yours, fine,

but I cannot hold the pen.

Pray,

we can rewrite our story.

I'm asking you
to have faith in me.

In us.

"Faith without works is dead."

James26.

I'm going home on Sunday.

The bus leaves at00 p.m.

I'll be there.

to call you no clucking duck.

What I meant was, like,
a cackling hen.

wait a minute, honey,
don't cry, don't cry.

Please.
Listen to me.

- Mm-hmm.
- Mm!

Guess we all got our secrets.

- Don't tell your aunts.
- I'm-a tell you like

- you used to always tell me.
- What?

- God knows all.
- Yes.

- Let me ask you something.

When you lived here,
how many times

would you say you snuck off
to the Greyhound

to go to New York?

Every other week, I guess.

- Uh-huh.
- You know, whenever

- I could afford to.
- Mm-hmm.

I'd be sitting in that window

waiting for your butt to
get back all weekend.

And one day you just didn't.

You didn't start no mess over at
Pastor Vernon's house, did you?

That house is plenty messy
all by itself without my help.

You know what I love
about you people?

Every damn... every one of you

has a secret that you think

the other people
don't know about.

But everybody knows everything.

Because peace is more important
than truth.

It's because the lies
make you feel alive.

It's the lies that keep
the fires inside of you burning.

They're the only thing
in this godforsaken town

that are real.

Is this why you came back
after all these years?

To tell me off?

To cuss out your own mother?

I didn't curse you.

Y'all cursed me,

told me that
I would never be blessed.

I only left because
it wasn't safe for me here.

And now I've come back
to make things right.

But I need you, Mommy...

to admit your faults.

How you let that man
do what he did to me.

How you tossed me out

and chose the church over me
when all I did...

was tell you my truth.

I know, I know.

I know I did wrong by you.

I was scared

that I would lose everything
that I had ever known.

You know,
that's my greatest shame.

I knew...

I did know that nothing
was ever wrong...

Nothing was ever wrong
with my beautiful,

headstrong, talented boy.

- I am sorry.

Could you forgive me?

Because I-I really...

I really want to do good
this time.

I-I do.

I love you so much.

I love you, too.

Okay...

can I ask you something?

You believe in salvation,
don't you?

In God?

Uh...

the way that you do, like...

...with the big man
up in the heavens and stuff?

No.

But I do believe in a God.

How is he?

I mean, what's he like,
your God?

He is kind.

- He is loving.
- Uh-huh.

He is forgiving.

That is the God
that's inside me.

Yes. He is.

He is.

Would you, uh...

...visit the church with me,
one more time?

I-I mean, I think it would,
I think it would give us peace.

I don't know about that.

- Why?

I don't know that I need
to be up in the Lord's house,

knowing how the saints
feel about me and my kind.

Well, why don't you go
for the music?

Come on, now, you know you were
always the star in the choir.

You know you had the best voice.

My God gave you that gift.

Please?

Ple... All right.

- Come on.

Yeah!

Praise Him!

Good morning.

-Good morning.
- Ooh, I said good morning!

-Good morning!
- Whoo!

For our next song,
I would like to invite

- a special guest to join us.
- Mm.

- He was raised in this church.
- Mm-hmm.

His voice used
to fill this church.

-Yes.
- It's been a very long time

since he's been here.

But the Lord has
brought him back to us.

Won't he do it!

- Amen.
-Amen.

Prayerful.

Will you join us, please?

Go on, now.
You've been summoned.

- Mm-hmm.
-Yes.

- Amen!

- Hallelujah!
- Uh...

"This Day"?

Hallelujah.

- Oh, that's right.

So you basically came into town

for a farewell performance,

and just tore us all up.

Child, you ain't
changed one bit.

So, uh, how did things go
with your mama?

Good, good, I think.

You know, I'm a grown man now.

I'm not a child anymore,
and she's her own woman,

and I forgive that woman.

I forgive her.

Do you forgive me?

For what?

For not protecting you.

Pray, I knew,

and I didn't... I did nothing!

I'm sorry, though.

- It's okay. It's okay.
- I'm sorry.

- Is that why you wanted
to have chicken and waffles?

For absolution before I go?

You...

You stop that silly talk.

When things get tough for you
in New York,

I will be coming there

so that you can feel your family
in those last days.

More than that,

I want you to get
everything you want

exactly the way
you want it to be.

- Power of attorney?
- Mm-hmm.

Now, I know you got people there
who love you and all, you know,

but you know how it works.

The law won't let them
make decisions for you

because they're not blood.

Now, you sign these papers

and I will make sure that you
get everything that you want.

I will come there
and I will see it through.

So tell me,
what are your final wishes?

I know you've been thinking
about this already, now.

What, you... you want
a parade or something?

No. No.

The opposite of that.

I... want to die
peacefully at home.

And then I want to be cremated.

So where do you want us
to put your ashes?

I want you to buy
a bunch of heart lockets

and fill them
with a little piece of me.

And give them to all my friends

and one for you
and Aunt Latrice and Mommy.

And then you'll all have
a piece of me, wherever you go.

Y'all ain't never
getting rid of me.

Okay.

You let me do all of that
for you, Pray.

Let me love you now
like I wasn't strong enough

to love you then.

You deserve that.

Oh, there's this bossy bitch
named Elektra

who's gonna think that she
deserves one of these lockets.

I want you to tell her
that I said from the grave

- that she can kiss
my entire ass.

Okay?

Only good thing about dying
is that I won't have to listen

- to her bullshit no more.

Cheers.

Oh, mm-hmm.

I don't know, I think Elvis
is pretty cool.

Please. Elvis got nothing

on Jackie Wilson.

Have you heard
"Lonely Teardrops"?

Have you seen her mug shots?

-- Wait, who-de-who?
-- Left Eye.

I heard that
when she got arrested that day,

she walked out of that house

with the thing
still under her eye.

- She's a G.
-That is so inspiring.

- She's a hero.
-Hold on, what about
his sneakers, though?

- Huh?
-Baby,
if you ever cheat on me,

I'm gonna take all your sneakers
and your clothes, too,

and I'm gonna put them
in the tub

and I'm gonna light them
on fire,

but not with gasoline.

I'm-a do it with essential oils,

so you think about me
when they're burning.

- Oh...
- Okay, shall we?

Yes.

Dear Heavenly Father,
we thank you

for this food and drink
that we're about to receive.

In a world
where so many are hungry,

may we eat with humble hearts.

In a world where
so many are lonely,

may we love with open arms.

May we all be fed,
may we all be healed,

may we all be loved,
may we all be at peace.

- Amen.
-Amen.

- Ah...

- Hey, woman. Hey, trans.
- Soup, please.

- Mmm-mmm.
- Hey, trans woman.

- This is my mama's recipe.
- Ooh, this shit looks good.

- Just need a little broth.
- Hey.