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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:08,342 Ahh, ahh, ahh. 2 00:00:08,376 --> 00:00:11,011 Mmm, ahh, oh, oh, oh oh. 3 00:00:11,045 --> 00:00:14,748 Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, ahh, 4 00:00:14,782 --> 00:00:17,851 ooh, ooh, ow, ooh, ooh, ooh. 5 00:00:17,885 --> 00:00:22,323 Ooh. Ah. Ahhhh. 6 00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:25,226 (receipt printing) 7 00:00:26,727 --> 00:00:30,364 (upbeat ethereal music) 8 00:00:30,398 --> 00:00:37,438 * 9 00:00:43,277 --> 00:00:46,247 (light guitar music) 10 00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:51,519 * 11 00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:55,623 WOMAN: Whoa, chocolate with walnuts. 12 00:00:55,656 --> 00:00:57,791 Is that--oh, my God. That's sea salt. 13 00:00:57,825 --> 00:00:59,393 Yeah. 14 00:00:59,427 --> 00:01:02,062 I'm gonna--I-- 15 00:01:02,096 --> 00:01:05,633 Am I just eating something just to eat? 16 00:01:05,666 --> 00:01:07,135 (sighs) 17 00:01:07,168 --> 00:01:10,771 I wonder how many calories-- no, I ate an hour ago. 18 00:01:10,804 --> 00:01:12,406 (sighs) 19 00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:15,476 Forget it. 20 00:01:15,509 --> 00:01:17,245 Well, maybe there's something else I could get that's, 21 00:01:17,278 --> 00:01:19,247 like, less... (sighs) 22 00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:22,883 like, a lot less... 23 00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:25,319 no, if I'm not here to get this thing I want, 24 00:01:25,353 --> 00:01:27,755 then why would I get, like, some other thing? 25 00:01:27,788 --> 00:01:31,592 So I feel all sorry for myself. 26 00:01:31,625 --> 00:01:33,261 Fuck. Whatever. 27 00:01:33,294 --> 00:01:37,465 If I can't have it, I won't have anything. 28 00:01:37,498 --> 00:01:40,067 I deserve to get something. 29 00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:41,969 Okay, it's like, "What the fuck am I"-- 30 00:01:42,002 --> 00:01:44,238 okay. who the fuck cares if I gain weight? 31 00:01:44,272 --> 00:01:46,440 I don't care. 32 00:01:46,474 --> 00:01:49,076 I could post a picture of it. 33 00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:51,445 Then I'm kind of killing two birds with one--no. 34 00:01:51,479 --> 00:01:52,213 Why would I do that? 35 00:01:55,349 --> 00:01:58,686 (scoffs) Why can't I fucking indulge once in a while? 36 00:01:58,719 --> 00:02:01,121 I am on this Earth to live. 37 00:02:01,155 --> 00:02:02,823 It's not just, like, self-discipline, 38 00:02:02,856 --> 00:02:04,325 Western fucking culture 39 00:02:04,358 --> 00:02:05,759 getting in the way of everything. 40 00:02:05,793 --> 00:02:08,329 It's...uh, eh, yeah. 41 00:02:08,362 --> 00:02:10,464 It's amazing I was even born, 42 00:02:10,498 --> 00:02:12,032 that I'm on this planet right now 43 00:02:12,065 --> 00:02:13,934 in this moment. It is a... 44 00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:15,303 fucking miracle. 45 00:02:18,005 --> 00:02:21,675 It's Saturday. 46 00:02:21,709 --> 00:02:22,976 Um, hi. Excuse me. 47 00:02:23,010 --> 00:02:25,879 How much is this cookie right here? 48 00:02:25,913 --> 00:02:27,481 - It's $6. 49 00:02:27,515 --> 00:02:31,519 - Oh, it--okay, thank you. 50 00:02:31,552 --> 00:02:32,520 Oh, excuse me 51 00:02:32,553 --> 00:02:33,687 $6 for a cookie. 52 00:02:33,721 --> 00:02:35,022 Who the hell would pay $6 for a cookie? 53 00:02:35,055 --> 00:02:37,491 Hi. Can I get a large cappuccino to go, please? 54 00:02:37,525 --> 00:02:43,831 * 55 00:02:44,898 --> 00:02:49,237 (hip-hop music) 56 00:02:49,270 --> 00:02:52,340 It's New Year's Eve, baby! 57 00:02:52,373 --> 00:02:55,909 And a new Jerome is about to drop right now! 58 00:02:55,943 --> 00:02:58,412 Tonight is the night! 59 00:02:58,446 --> 00:03:00,748 No more lies, no more big romantic speeches. 60 00:03:00,781 --> 00:03:02,416 No more fuck ups. 61 00:03:02,450 --> 00:03:04,051 No more online dating. 62 00:03:04,084 --> 00:03:06,387 No more stupid self-help bullshit. 63 00:03:06,420 --> 00:03:08,021 -Bye-bye, bullshit. - Bye-bye. 64 00:03:08,055 --> 00:03:09,590 Tonight I'm just Jerome. 65 00:03:09,623 --> 00:03:11,024 No, I'm better than Jerome. 66 00:03:11,058 --> 00:03:12,826 I'm the new Jerome. 67 00:03:12,860 --> 00:03:14,362 -Jerome reloaded. -Exactly. 68 00:03:14,395 --> 00:03:16,196 Yeah, I'm gonna be confident, 69 00:03:16,230 --> 00:03:18,699 smooth, funny, emotional, but not too emotional. 70 00:03:18,732 --> 00:03:20,401 -The perfect balance. - Yeah, you know, 71 00:03:20,434 --> 00:03:22,536 a man with strong boundaries 72 00:03:22,570 --> 00:03:25,005 but a compassionate immigration policy. 73 00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:28,509 No more tricks, no more schemes. 74 00:03:28,542 --> 00:03:32,380 Just me, Jerome Nicholas Nolte. 75 00:03:32,413 --> 00:03:33,547 Cool. So what's the plan? 76 00:03:33,581 --> 00:03:35,383 Well, first I'll meet a girl--no, a woman. 77 00:03:35,416 --> 00:03:36,917 -Upgrade. -Yeah. 78 00:03:36,950 --> 00:03:39,287 I'll just be myself. I'll be real. I'll be open. 79 00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:40,754 Open that shit up. 80 00:03:40,788 --> 00:03:42,089 Yeah and then I'll take her in my arms when the clock's 81 00:03:42,122 --> 00:03:44,558 about to strike midnight and give her the first 82 00:03:44,592 --> 00:03:47,861 in a long, beautiful lifetime of consensual kisses. 83 00:03:47,895 --> 00:03:49,863 Now, this is the beginning, my friend. 84 00:03:49,897 --> 00:03:51,131 And don't believe for a second-- 85 00:03:51,164 --> 00:03:53,567 Dude, it's 11:57. 86 00:03:53,601 --> 00:03:54,568 - What? 87 00:03:54,602 --> 00:03:57,571 (upbeat electronic music) 88 00:03:57,605 --> 00:04:01,942 * 89 00:04:01,975 --> 00:04:03,644 Oh. Hi. 90 00:04:03,677 --> 00:04:06,380 -Holler at you later. -'Sup, boy. How you doin'? 91 00:04:06,414 --> 00:04:07,948 Oh, hi. 92 00:04:07,981 --> 00:04:09,149 WOMAN: Hey. 93 00:04:09,182 --> 00:04:10,751 Cheers. 94 00:04:10,784 --> 00:04:11,919 WOMAN: Cheers, baby. 95 00:04:11,952 --> 00:04:13,587 MAN: Yeah, get in here. Come on. 96 00:04:13,621 --> 00:04:14,888 That's it. 97 00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:16,990 All right, 2019, here we come. 98 00:04:17,024 --> 00:04:18,592 One minute left. 99 00:04:18,626 --> 00:04:21,429 - I--I need more time. 100 00:04:21,462 --> 00:04:22,596 I need more time. 101 00:04:22,630 --> 00:04:23,664 Hey, hey, hey, hey. 102 00:04:23,697 --> 00:04:25,599 * 103 00:04:25,633 --> 00:04:28,101 WOMAN: * Let's not waste no time tonight * 104 00:04:28,135 --> 00:04:30,838 * Let's get things lit, do it right * 105 00:04:30,871 --> 00:04:33,140 * Let's not waste no time tonight * 106 00:04:33,173 --> 00:04:34,942 Hey, hey, hey, fuck this guy. 107 00:04:34,975 --> 00:04:37,177 Oh, I'm so--I'm sorry. 108 00:04:37,210 --> 00:04:41,915 I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. 109 00:04:41,949 --> 00:04:44,918 (dramatic music) 110 00:04:44,952 --> 00:04:51,992 * 111 00:04:53,894 --> 00:04:55,329 - 30 seconds. 112 00:04:55,363 --> 00:04:56,764 Are you ready? 113 00:04:56,797 --> 00:05:00,334 (cheers) 114 00:05:00,368 --> 00:05:02,536 MAN: Bro, come on. 115 00:05:02,570 --> 00:05:08,676 * 116 00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:11,512 WOMAN: Ten. 117 00:05:11,545 --> 00:05:13,647 ALL: Nine. Eight. Seven. 118 00:05:13,681 --> 00:05:15,649 Six. Five. 119 00:05:15,683 --> 00:05:18,318 Four. Three. Two. One. 120 00:05:18,352 --> 00:05:19,820 (sobbing) 121 00:05:19,853 --> 00:05:25,659 (cheers) 122 00:05:25,693 --> 00:05:29,296 * 123 00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:31,164 (sobbing) 124 00:05:31,198 --> 00:05:33,734 Oh, no. Ohh. 125 00:05:33,767 --> 00:05:35,736 Oh, Jerome, no. 126 00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:45,546 (ethereal music) 127 00:05:46,213 --> 00:05:49,182 (spacey music) 128 00:05:49,216 --> 00:05:51,184 (squeaks) 129 00:05:51,218 --> 00:05:52,185 -(gasping) 130 00:05:52,219 --> 00:05:54,187 (alarm blaring) 131 00:05:54,221 --> 00:05:55,188 Ahh! 132 00:05:55,222 --> 00:05:57,157 -(humming) 133 00:05:57,190 --> 00:06:00,160 (spacey electronic music) 134 00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:07,267 * 135 00:06:09,069 --> 00:06:12,339 So I was at the poetry club, but after I-- 136 00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:14,708 I read my poem, 137 00:06:14,742 --> 00:06:16,910 everybody just laughed at me, you know? 138 00:06:16,944 --> 00:06:20,047 The worst thing of all, Grace was there. 139 00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:21,048 Oh. 140 00:06:21,081 --> 00:06:22,382 I mean, that was just so devastating. 141 00:06:22,416 --> 00:06:25,052 So I just started crying there. in front of everyone 142 00:06:25,085 --> 00:06:26,454 I just, like-- 143 00:06:26,487 --> 00:06:28,556 You've got to stop--stop taking so much from people. 144 00:06:28,589 --> 00:06:30,724 It's just not--this is why we're at the bottom 145 00:06:30,758 --> 00:06:31,892 of the food chain. 146 00:06:31,925 --> 00:06:33,393 We've got to start being more like Todd. 147 00:06:33,427 --> 00:06:35,095 -What? -Todd Vicious. 148 00:06:35,128 --> 00:06:36,229 Look, look. Todd Vicious. 149 00:06:36,263 --> 00:06:39,066 That's Todd Vicious. 150 00:06:39,099 --> 00:06:40,400 -Holy shit. -He doesn't-- 151 00:06:40,434 --> 00:06:44,237 he doesn't go to poetry club and cry over Grace. 152 00:06:44,271 --> 00:06:46,139 -I guess not. -He just eat-- 153 00:06:46,173 --> 00:06:49,109 he just swarms around eating everything. 154 00:06:49,142 --> 00:06:51,411 You wanna hear my poem that I wrote? 155 00:06:51,445 --> 00:06:52,580 Yeah, go on then. 156 00:06:53,814 --> 00:06:58,752 Grace, in my heart, you have a place, 157 00:06:58,786 --> 00:07:00,588 a place called the club. 158 00:07:00,621 --> 00:07:02,790 * Holler if you know what's up dog * 159 00:07:02,823 --> 00:07:05,759 * Yeah you better get down on the dance floor * 160 00:07:05,793 --> 00:07:08,662 * Yeah shake that booty baby uh * 161 00:07:08,696 --> 00:07:11,632 * Shake that booty baby girl * 162 00:07:11,665 --> 00:07:14,602 * Oh yeah 163 00:07:14,635 --> 00:07:16,136 So it had--like, it's kind of like 164 00:07:16,169 --> 00:07:18,772 an R&B influence there in the end of the poem. 165 00:07:18,806 --> 00:07:21,008 -Yeah, you're gonna die alone. -(laughs) 166 00:07:21,041 --> 00:07:23,977 (ethereal music) 167 00:07:26,714 --> 00:07:28,649 (hip-hop music) 168 00:07:29,517 --> 00:07:31,018 Oh. Oh, I'm so sorry. 169 00:07:31,051 --> 00:07:32,019 I didn't--sorry. 170 00:07:32,052 --> 00:07:33,353 -Oh. -So sorry. 171 00:07:33,386 --> 00:07:36,524 I didn't--sorry. 172 00:07:36,557 --> 00:07:40,794 * 173 00:07:40,828 --> 00:07:42,295 * Nah she doesn't need you 174 00:07:42,329 --> 00:07:44,464 Don't I, uh-- don't I know you? 175 00:07:44,498 --> 00:07:46,199 Paige? 176 00:07:46,233 --> 00:07:47,334 PAIGE: I'm sorry. I've forgotten your name. 177 00:07:47,367 --> 00:07:48,836 Your memory's better than mine. 178 00:07:48,869 --> 00:07:50,871 No, um, Jerome. 179 00:07:50,904 --> 00:07:54,041 I--I--I went on a date with you a few months ago. 180 00:07:54,074 --> 00:07:56,644 Oh. You're that guy. 181 00:07:56,677 --> 00:07:59,212 MAN: * My name and I'm never switching lanes * 182 00:07:59,246 --> 00:08:00,881 Yup. 183 00:08:00,914 --> 00:08:04,484 You look different. 184 00:08:04,518 --> 00:08:05,653 Oh, no. Well, yeah. 185 00:08:05,686 --> 00:08:07,054 I was just trying something new. 186 00:08:07,087 --> 00:08:09,557 I didn't mean--yeah, I--I don't know. 187 00:08:09,590 --> 00:08:12,860 I'm sorry. Ohh. 188 00:08:12,893 --> 00:08:16,564 What--what are you apologizing for? 189 00:08:16,597 --> 00:08:19,466 I don't know. 190 00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:23,136 Do you--do you wanna talk about it? 191 00:08:23,170 --> 00:08:24,137 JEROME: I don't know. 192 00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:25,405 I just get attached way too easily, 193 00:08:25,438 --> 00:08:27,575 way too easily, and then I scare people away. 194 00:08:27,608 --> 00:08:29,843 I scare people away, and then I--I get clingy. 195 00:08:29,877 --> 00:08:31,244 I get jealous. 196 00:08:31,278 --> 00:08:34,414 And I don't--like, do you wanna hear something really stupid? 197 00:08:34,447 --> 00:08:35,716 -Always. -Okay. 198 00:08:35,749 --> 00:08:39,419 So I was gonna come into this party and pretend to be 199 00:08:39,452 --> 00:08:40,888 somebody totally different. 200 00:08:40,921 --> 00:08:43,356 I--I do this sort of thing all the time. 201 00:08:43,390 --> 00:08:45,025 I try to pump myself up, 202 00:08:45,058 --> 00:08:47,194 and I try to pretend like I'm confident, 203 00:08:47,227 --> 00:08:49,863 like I'm smooth, like I'm tough, and-- 204 00:08:49,897 --> 00:08:52,432 - Ah, hence our date, Mr. Terminator. 205 00:08:52,465 --> 00:08:53,667 -Yeah. -(laughs) 206 00:08:53,701 --> 00:08:54,935 No. I don't know. 207 00:08:54,968 --> 00:08:57,705 I feel like I'm trying my best. 208 00:08:57,738 --> 00:08:59,206 I feel like I'm trying a million different things, 209 00:08:59,239 --> 00:09:00,373 and it's not working at all. 210 00:09:00,407 --> 00:09:02,442 It never works, and I don't--I don't-- 211 00:09:02,475 --> 00:09:04,878 I don't know what to do. 212 00:09:04,912 --> 00:09:07,347 You're sensitive. 213 00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:08,782 Over-sensitive. 214 00:09:08,816 --> 00:09:10,083 Well, it's better than the opposite. 215 00:09:10,117 --> 00:09:12,586 Oh, yeah. How do you mean? 216 00:09:12,620 --> 00:09:16,890 Okay, so you scare people away. 217 00:09:16,924 --> 00:09:18,859 I push 'em away. 218 00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:20,093 Uh-uh. 219 00:09:20,127 --> 00:09:21,261 PAIGE: And I work all the time. 220 00:09:21,294 --> 00:09:22,529 I mean, I've had relationships end, 221 00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:25,232 because I've literally forgotten I was in them. 222 00:09:25,265 --> 00:09:27,935 -Really? -(laughs) 223 00:09:27,968 --> 00:09:29,603 MAN: * Want to kiss on your body * 224 00:09:29,637 --> 00:09:32,706 I wasn't kissing anyone at midnight either, you know? 225 00:09:32,740 --> 00:09:34,574 I was actually in the room over there 226 00:09:34,608 --> 00:09:36,610 just having a little moment to myself. 227 00:09:36,644 --> 00:09:39,747 ALL: Nine. Eight. Seven. 228 00:09:39,780 --> 00:09:42,382 Six. Five. Four. 229 00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:46,119 Three. Two. One. 230 00:09:46,153 --> 00:09:47,420 I hate that part about New Year's. 231 00:09:47,454 --> 00:09:51,291 You get all sweaty and nervous, 232 00:09:51,324 --> 00:09:53,627 and you end up snogging some stranger 233 00:09:53,661 --> 00:09:55,996 whose name you'll never remember. 234 00:09:56,029 --> 00:09:57,430 Gross. 235 00:09:57,464 --> 00:09:59,599 - I guess it is kind of gross. 236 00:09:59,633 --> 00:10:01,501 I never thought of it like that. 237 00:10:01,534 --> 00:10:04,171 That's a really astute observation. 238 00:10:04,204 --> 00:10:06,606 Thank you. 239 00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:08,175 Every card I'm shufflin'. 240 00:10:08,208 --> 00:10:09,943 Okay, but--all right, no. 241 00:10:09,977 --> 00:10:11,679 Okay, you're gonna pick a card, any card. 242 00:10:11,712 --> 00:10:12,746 All right, ready? 243 00:10:12,780 --> 00:10:14,481 This is a very important magic trick. 244 00:10:14,514 --> 00:10:16,684 Okay. Ready? Go ahead. All right. Not you. 245 00:10:16,717 --> 00:10:17,785 Your friend. I don't care about you. 246 00:10:17,818 --> 00:10:19,753 Okay. All right. Cool. Pick one. 247 00:10:19,787 --> 00:10:22,289 All right, ready? Go ahead. Pick. No. Not you. 248 00:10:22,322 --> 00:10:24,692 The cute one. Go ahead. 249 00:10:24,725 --> 00:10:26,526 No. I said "the cute one." 250 00:10:26,559 --> 00:10:28,428 No. I'm just kidding. Go ahead and pick. 251 00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:30,798 Okay, great. And don't let me see. 252 00:10:30,831 --> 00:10:33,300 MAN: * Every time I say I want you want you * 253 00:10:33,333 --> 00:10:34,634 - Do you need me to put the card 254 00:10:34,668 --> 00:10:36,804 back in the deck or something? 255 00:10:36,837 --> 00:10:42,309 Um...no. 256 00:10:42,342 --> 00:10:43,811 * 257 00:10:43,844 --> 00:10:45,946 What I need is that. 258 00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:48,849 WOMAN: Hey. Where are you going? 259 00:10:48,882 --> 00:10:51,284 I was just one neg away from fucking you. 260 00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:58,358 * 261 00:11:12,039 --> 00:11:14,141 PAIGE: (laughing) 262 00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:15,508 With the cool group. 263 00:11:15,542 --> 00:11:17,377 -He did not. -Yes, he did. 264 00:11:17,410 --> 00:11:19,246 It was disgusting. 265 00:11:19,279 --> 00:11:20,547 But I mean, at least we got a verdict, so... 266 00:11:20,580 --> 00:11:22,015 Oh, God. 267 00:11:22,049 --> 00:11:24,885 Well, hey, I'm really glad I have a new lawyer friend now 268 00:11:24,918 --> 00:11:26,319 in case I ever get arrested. 269 00:11:26,353 --> 00:11:28,388 Why? Are there some nefarious activities 270 00:11:28,421 --> 00:11:29,823 I should know about? 271 00:11:29,857 --> 00:11:31,524 - Ah, well, there's a very good chance I could drown 272 00:11:31,558 --> 00:11:33,026 everyone at this party with my own tears. 273 00:11:33,060 --> 00:11:34,161 PAIGE: If they can't prove intent, 274 00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:35,195 you're out in 18 months, mate. 275 00:11:35,228 --> 00:11:37,030 JEROME: Okay, the way we designed it is, 276 00:11:37,064 --> 00:11:39,032 you snooze once, that's fine. 277 00:11:39,066 --> 00:11:41,601 You snooze again, it sends one random photo 278 00:11:41,634 --> 00:11:44,037 to one random contact in your library. 279 00:11:44,071 --> 00:11:45,238 Yeah, and then you snooze again, 280 00:11:45,272 --> 00:11:47,507 it sends two random photos to two random contacts, 281 00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:48,708 and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and so on and so on. 282 00:11:48,742 --> 00:11:50,343 Ooh, boy, that's dangerous. 283 00:11:50,377 --> 00:11:51,611 Yeah, kind of. 284 00:11:51,644 --> 00:11:53,513 Yeah, we're thinking about calling it, uh, "Wake Mail." 285 00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:54,915 You know, kind of like "blackmail" but "Wake Mail." 286 00:11:54,948 --> 00:11:59,452 That's a shit name, but the app itself is a good idea. 287 00:11:59,486 --> 00:12:01,388 Hey. Thanks. Yeah, it's still in beta. 288 00:12:01,421 --> 00:12:02,890 But I think we're, uh-- 289 00:12:02,923 --> 00:12:04,892 -Just hold on a second. -What are you doing? 290 00:12:04,925 --> 00:12:07,961 -Hold on. -Look, if there's some... 291 00:12:07,995 --> 00:12:11,464 I have set your phone to Central Time. 292 00:12:11,498 --> 00:12:12,699 Okay. 293 00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:16,369 It's almost midnight in Tulsa, Oklahoma. 294 00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:17,905 Oh. Okay. Um. 295 00:12:17,938 --> 00:12:19,072 -Ten. Nine. -I don't get it. 296 00:12:19,106 --> 00:12:21,074 Do you have family in Tulsa, Oklahoma? 297 00:12:21,108 --> 00:12:23,610 -Eight. Seven. -Why are you counting? 298 00:12:23,643 --> 00:12:24,311 Are you trying to hypnotize me? 299 00:12:24,344 --> 00:12:25,879 - Six. Five. 300 00:12:25,913 --> 00:12:28,048 I should let you know I don't do very well with that, 301 00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:29,749 so maybe I should call someone. 302 00:12:29,783 --> 00:12:33,553 Three. Two. 303 00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:34,955 * 304 00:12:34,988 --> 00:12:38,558 MAN: * She can be whatever she wants * 305 00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:40,660 ALL: (gasp) 306 00:12:43,630 --> 00:12:46,834 (funky music) 307 00:12:46,867 --> 00:12:48,836 (siren wailing) 308 00:12:48,869 --> 00:12:50,303 * 309 00:12:50,337 --> 00:12:52,472 (loud thump) 310 00:13:04,384 --> 00:13:06,119 MAN: * Ambu-ambulance 311 00:13:06,153 --> 00:13:07,587 * Ambulance 312 00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:09,589 (sirens wailing) 313 00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:11,491 (ethereal music) 314 00:13:15,028 --> 00:13:17,530 (ethereal music) 315 00:13:22,169 --> 00:13:25,873 (camera shutter clicks) 316 00:13:25,906 --> 00:13:28,976 (birds chirping) 317 00:13:40,687 --> 00:13:42,389 CHRISTINA: Did you see that little coffee shop over there? 318 00:13:42,422 --> 00:13:43,490 IAN: Yeah, I did. It was adorable. 319 00:13:43,523 --> 00:13:44,657 -ALICE: Hi. -CHRISTINA: Really cute. 320 00:13:44,691 --> 00:13:45,993 -IAN: Oh, hi, there. -CHRISTINA: Hi. 321 00:13:46,026 --> 00:13:46,994 -ALICE: I'm Alice. -IAN: Alice, nice to meet you. 322 00:13:47,027 --> 00:13:47,827 Ian. ALICE: Hi. 323 00:13:47,861 --> 00:13:49,162 CHRISTINA: Christina. 324 00:13:49,196 --> 00:13:50,030 Thank you for seeing us on such short notice. 325 00:13:50,063 --> 00:13:51,865 Oh, my gosh. No problem at all. 326 00:13:51,899 --> 00:13:53,300 Uh, did you guys get a chance to check out the neighborhood? 327 00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:55,635 CHRISTINA: Oh, yeah, no, it's funky, and I like it. 328 00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:56,503 -ALICE: Yeah. -IAN: Very eclectic. 329 00:13:56,536 --> 00:13:58,171 It has a lot of character, 330 00:13:58,205 --> 00:13:59,372 and it's in a great school district. 331 00:13:59,406 --> 00:14:00,540 -CHRISTINA: Oh, nice. -IAN: Oh, wonderful. 332 00:14:00,573 --> 00:14:01,574 Did I see a little dog park over there? 333 00:14:01,608 --> 00:14:02,675 Yeah, there is a little dog park. 334 00:14:02,709 --> 00:14:04,011 IAN: Oh, adorable. 335 00:14:04,044 --> 00:14:05,412 Well, why don't I show you into the unit? 336 00:14:05,445 --> 00:14:06,880 CHRISTINA: Yeah. Let's go. 337 00:14:06,914 --> 00:14:09,749 ALICE: I think you're gonna love it; it's very special. 338 00:14:09,782 --> 00:14:12,252 -CHRISTINA: Oh, my God. -IAN: Ooh. 339 00:14:12,285 --> 00:14:13,720 CHRISTINA: Look at these hardwood floors. 340 00:14:13,753 --> 00:14:14,854 -IAN: Oh, my gosh. -ALICE: Yes, you know, 341 00:14:14,888 --> 00:14:16,489 these are the original hardwood floors, 342 00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:17,857 and we found them underneath carpet. 343 00:14:17,891 --> 00:14:19,026 -IAN: No, you didn't. -CHRISTINA: Ew. 344 00:14:19,059 --> 00:14:20,193 ALICE: Yes, we did. It happens all the time. 345 00:14:20,227 --> 00:14:22,662 IAN: Who does that? It's so tacky. 346 00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:25,598 ALICE: It's not my thing. This is the sunroom. 347 00:14:25,632 --> 00:14:26,934 -IAN: Ooh. -CHRISTINA: Ohh. 348 00:14:26,967 --> 00:14:29,869 ALICE: But you could use it as an office or a playroom. 349 00:14:29,903 --> 00:14:31,238 Sort of a... IAN: Ooh, a playroom. 350 00:14:31,271 --> 00:14:32,239 -ALICE: Playroom. -IAN: (laughs) 351 00:14:32,272 --> 00:14:33,706 ALICE: Are you guys expecting? 352 00:14:33,740 --> 00:14:36,109 -IAN: No, we're trying. -CHRISTINA: Trying to expect. 353 00:14:36,143 --> 00:14:37,210 IAN: We're planning. 354 00:14:37,244 --> 00:14:38,545 CHRISTINA: Planning on planning. 355 00:14:38,578 --> 00:14:40,380 ALICE: Wonderful. I love that. 356 00:14:40,413 --> 00:14:43,383 Okay. Did I mention it is a 2 1/2 bath? 357 00:14:43,416 --> 00:14:45,385 CHRISTINA: Oh. That's, like, pretty much three bathrooms. 358 00:14:45,418 --> 00:14:46,786 No, it's not a problem. 359 00:14:46,819 --> 00:14:50,958 ALICE: All right, moving right along. 360 00:14:50,991 --> 00:14:55,262 -IAN: Oh, my God. -CHRISTINA: Oh. Holy cow. 361 00:14:55,295 --> 00:14:56,463 IAN: Wow. 362 00:14:56,496 --> 00:14:58,365 CHRISTINA: The light in here is amazing. 363 00:14:58,398 --> 00:15:00,433 -ALICE: I know. -IAN: This is unbelievable. 364 00:15:00,467 --> 00:15:02,069 CHRISTINA: It gets beautiful natural light. 365 00:15:02,102 --> 00:15:03,636 IAN: Oh, my--and this is westward-facing? 366 00:15:03,670 --> 00:15:04,771 ALICE: Yeah, it's west-facing. 367 00:15:04,804 --> 00:15:06,273 IAN: You can see that. I love a sunset. 368 00:15:06,306 --> 00:15:08,241 ALICE: Good eye, and this is all new 369 00:15:08,275 --> 00:15:09,276 stainless steel appliances. 370 00:15:09,309 --> 00:15:10,577 IAN: Oh, my gosh, brand-new. 371 00:15:10,610 --> 00:15:11,911 Listen, I'll take original hardwood floors 372 00:15:11,945 --> 00:15:12,912 but not original... 373 00:15:12,946 --> 00:15:13,981 IAN AND CHRISTINA: Appliances. 374 00:15:14,014 --> 00:15:15,082 (laughter) 375 00:15:15,115 --> 00:15:16,416 IAN: No, thank you. 376 00:15:16,449 --> 00:15:18,285 ALICE: Why don't I show you the master bedroom? 377 00:15:18,318 --> 00:15:19,119 You're really gonna love it. 378 00:15:19,152 --> 00:15:21,955 CHRISTINA: Oh, wonderful. 379 00:15:28,795 --> 00:15:31,598 Sir. Sir. Sir. 380 00:15:31,631 --> 00:15:33,666 Sir, I'm sorry. 381 00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:34,667 I'm sorry, okay? 382 00:15:34,701 --> 00:15:36,736 This is an active crime scene. 383 00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:39,806 I need you to stay here. 384 00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:47,680 (camera shutter clicks) 385 00:15:47,714 --> 00:15:49,116 (laughter) 386 00:15:49,149 --> 00:15:51,251 ALICE: I know. I need a good bathtub as well 387 00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:52,485 -CHRISTINA: I know. -ALICE: It's very important. 388 00:15:52,519 --> 00:15:54,321 CHRISTINA: It's, like, bigger from the inside 389 00:15:54,354 --> 00:15:55,788 than it is from the outside. -ALICE: I know. 390 00:15:55,822 --> 00:15:57,290 IAN: The place just keeps going and going and going. 391 00:15:57,324 --> 00:15:58,491 It's surprisingly spacious, 392 00:15:58,525 --> 00:15:59,659 and it's all in the details, you know? 393 00:15:59,692 --> 00:16:00,927 Like that half-moon window. 394 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:02,029 IAN: Oh, gorgeous. 395 00:16:02,062 --> 00:16:03,296 CHRISTINA: Kind of checks all of our boxes. 396 00:16:03,330 --> 00:16:05,798 Yes, this is everything we are looking for. 397 00:16:05,832 --> 00:16:06,866 Great. 398 00:16:06,899 --> 00:16:08,768 It feels like, uh, like a home. 399 00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:09,869 It could be a home. 400 00:16:09,902 --> 00:16:11,304 Well, you know what? No rush. 401 00:16:11,338 --> 00:16:13,173 No pressure. Take a few nights to sleep on it. 402 00:16:13,206 --> 00:16:14,874 - Just, like, one--just, like, one or two nights. 403 00:16:14,907 --> 00:16:15,975 -ALICE: Yeah. -IAN: We want it. 404 00:16:16,009 --> 00:16:17,210 Do you have my contact information? 405 00:16:17,244 --> 00:16:18,311 -IAN: We want it. -ALICE: Yeah, you know what? 406 00:16:18,345 --> 00:16:19,646 In case you forgot, here's another card. 407 00:16:19,679 --> 00:16:20,647 -IAN: Oh, thank you so much. -CHRISTINA: Thank you. 408 00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:21,648 It was so lovely to meet you. 409 00:16:21,681 --> 00:16:23,183 It was so lovely meeting you. 410 00:16:23,216 --> 00:16:24,484 -IAN: Alice, it was a pleasure. -ALICE: Yeah, nice to meet. 411 00:16:24,517 --> 00:16:25,852 -IAN: Thank you so much. -ALICE: And you know what? 412 00:16:25,885 --> 00:16:27,154 There is a really great coffee shop right down the street. 413 00:16:27,187 --> 00:16:28,388 We saw that. We saw that. We're gonna check it out. 414 00:16:28,421 --> 00:16:29,789 -IAN: Try it out. -ALICE: Wonderful. 415 00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:30,723 -IAN: Thanks, Alice. -ALICE: All right, well, 416 00:16:30,757 --> 00:16:31,824 have a great day. -IAN: Thank you. 417 00:16:31,858 --> 00:16:33,193 -CHRISTINA: Bye. -ALICE: Take care. 418 00:16:33,226 --> 00:16:34,194 IAN: Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. 419 00:16:34,227 --> 00:16:36,296 CHRISTINA: It's so cute. 420 00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:39,366 (camera shutter clicks) 421 00:16:41,768 --> 00:16:42,835 Thanks, guys. That was great. 422 00:16:42,869 --> 00:16:43,870 -MAN: Oh. -MAN: Oh. 423 00:16:43,903 --> 00:16:44,971 -ALICE: Yeah, yeah. -MAN: Great. 424 00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:46,306 -ALICE: Nice work. -MAN: Thanks. 425 00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:47,807 -BILL: I'm gonna get coffee. ALICE: See ya, Bill. 426 00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:49,842 -MAN: Good night. -ALICE: Take care. 427 00:16:49,876 --> 00:16:52,845 -GIRL: See you at home. -ALICE: See you at home. 428 00:17:09,796 --> 00:17:14,101 (ethereal music) 429 00:17:14,134 --> 00:17:15,535 * 430 00:17:15,568 --> 00:17:18,538 (gloomy music) 431 00:17:18,571 --> 00:17:22,242 MEN AND WOMEN: Tree secrets. 432 00:17:22,275 --> 00:17:23,843 I sing in the shower. 433 00:17:23,876 --> 00:17:25,112 I do it every day. 434 00:17:25,145 --> 00:17:26,213 (laughs) 435 00:17:26,246 --> 00:17:28,248 I feel like I sound pretty good. 436 00:17:28,281 --> 00:17:30,350 I get a little funky in there, 437 00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:32,352 let it loose, let it rip a little bit, 438 00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:33,720 and then I zip it up, 439 00:17:33,753 --> 00:17:35,755 not singing for me the rest of the day. 440 00:17:35,788 --> 00:17:37,424 (ethereal music) 441 00:17:41,094 --> 00:17:44,631 (ethereal music) 442 00:17:46,733 --> 00:17:49,469 (cables stretching) 443 00:17:55,675 --> 00:17:57,577 (hip-hop music) 444 00:17:57,610 --> 00:17:59,746 Jerome. 445 00:17:59,779 --> 00:18:02,749 Oh. Oh, my God. Am I dead? 446 00:18:02,782 --> 00:18:04,417 Are you okay? 447 00:18:04,451 --> 00:18:06,085 What happened? 448 00:18:06,119 --> 00:18:09,789 I, uh, I kissed you. That's what happened. 449 00:18:09,822 --> 00:18:12,625 Wait. Why? 450 00:18:12,659 --> 00:18:14,827 What do you mean, "Why?" 451 00:18:14,861 --> 00:18:17,930 Oh. 452 00:18:17,964 --> 00:18:19,899 I told you everything that was wrong with me. 453 00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:21,968 Why would you wanna kiss me? 454 00:18:22,001 --> 00:18:23,436 What are you talking about? 455 00:18:23,470 --> 00:18:25,338 There's nothing wrong with you, Jerome. 456 00:18:27,307 --> 00:18:28,508 - There isn't? 457 00:18:28,541 --> 00:18:33,580 Well, nothing major. 458 00:18:33,613 --> 00:18:35,948 I'd kiss you again, but I don't want to cause 459 00:18:35,982 --> 00:18:37,650 any more head trauma. 460 00:18:40,853 --> 00:18:43,623 Do you want to dance? 461 00:18:46,326 --> 00:18:47,994 Yeah. 462 00:18:48,027 --> 00:18:50,997 (upbeat electronic music) 463 00:18:51,030 --> 00:18:58,070 * 464 00:19:17,257 --> 00:19:19,125 WOMAN: (vocalizing) 465 00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:26,199 * 466 00:19:28,701 --> 00:19:32,205 WOMAN: (vocalizing) 467 00:19:42,882 --> 00:19:44,851 2020, bitches! 468 00:19:44,884 --> 00:19:46,185 Ten. 469 00:19:46,219 --> 00:19:50,022 ALL: Nine. Eight. Seven. Six. 470 00:19:50,056 --> 00:19:52,925 Five. Four. Three. 471 00:19:52,959 --> 00:19:56,229 Two. One. 472 00:19:56,263 --> 00:19:58,431 WOMAN: Happy New Year! 473 00:19:58,465 --> 00:20:01,668 -MAN: Whoo! -WOMAN: Happy New Year! 474 00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:05,037 WOMAN: Yeah! 475 00:20:05,071 --> 00:20:07,507 Whoo! Happy New Year. 476 00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:09,442 * 477 00:20:09,476 --> 00:20:10,943 I love you, Jerome. 478 00:20:10,977 --> 00:20:13,946 I love you too. 479 00:20:13,980 --> 00:20:18,050 * 480 00:20:18,084 --> 00:20:20,920 I got you a gift. 481 00:20:20,953 --> 00:20:22,389 You did? 482 00:20:22,422 --> 00:20:23,690 -Of course. -Hey. 483 00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:25,892 It's our one-year anniversary. 484 00:20:25,925 --> 00:20:30,062 Hey. Yo. 485 00:20:30,096 --> 00:20:34,867 Thank you. 486 00:20:34,901 --> 00:20:36,569 Wow. 487 00:20:36,603 --> 00:20:38,638 It's beautiful. 488 00:20:38,671 --> 00:20:43,310 It's the state of Oklahoma, and the heart is Tulsa. 489 00:20:43,343 --> 00:20:46,579 * 490 00:20:46,613 --> 00:20:47,914 Where we had our first kiss. 491 00:20:47,947 --> 00:20:52,218 Mm-hmm. 492 00:20:52,251 --> 00:20:53,586 Oh, thank you. 493 00:20:53,620 --> 00:20:55,622 You know, it's actually perfect, 494 00:20:55,655 --> 00:20:57,290 because I needed a new key chain anyway. 495 00:20:57,324 --> 00:20:58,625 Well, it's not for your keys. 496 00:20:58,658 --> 00:21:02,762 It's for our keys. 497 00:21:02,795 --> 00:21:05,264 Our keys? 498 00:21:05,298 --> 00:21:08,601 I'm saying that I'm ready. 499 00:21:08,635 --> 00:21:10,470 Do you wanna move in together? 500 00:21:10,503 --> 00:21:14,841 I...absolutely 501 00:21:14,874 --> 00:21:16,743 do not want to move in with you. 502 00:21:16,776 --> 00:21:17,810 -What? -What? 503 00:21:17,844 --> 00:21:18,911 -I'm sorry. - I don't understand. 504 00:21:18,945 --> 00:21:20,847 -Are you joking? - No. No. I'm sorry. 505 00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:23,650 Um, um, wait, uh. You know what? 506 00:21:23,683 --> 00:21:24,751 Something's wrong. 507 00:21:24,784 --> 00:21:26,118 Could you just ask me that again, please? 508 00:21:26,152 --> 00:21:28,955 Uh, Jerome... 509 00:21:28,988 --> 00:21:29,922 Yes. 510 00:21:29,956 --> 00:21:31,858 Do you want to move in with me? 511 00:21:31,891 --> 00:21:35,462 Uh, I would love nothing more than for us 512 00:21:35,495 --> 00:21:39,432 to continue to date while living in separate residences. 513 00:21:39,466 --> 00:21:41,868 Oh, my God. Jesus! 514 00:21:41,901 --> 00:21:43,803 I'm sorry. Um, you know what? 515 00:21:43,836 --> 00:21:46,673 I'm just gonna--I'm gonna take--listen, nope, nope. 516 00:21:46,706 --> 00:21:48,808 It's not--I'm gonna take a moment over here. 517 00:21:48,841 --> 00:21:50,810 I'll be right back; just stay--just stay right here. 518 00:21:50,843 --> 00:21:54,481 I'll be right back. 519 00:21:54,514 --> 00:21:57,450 Do you want to move in with me? 520 00:21:57,484 --> 00:22:00,720 Yes. Paige, yes. 521 00:22:00,753 --> 00:22:03,055 You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. 522 00:22:03,089 --> 00:22:06,058 Not only that, I want to spend my whole life with you. 523 00:22:06,092 --> 00:22:08,995 Yes. Yes. A million times yes. 524 00:22:09,028 --> 00:22:11,130 Okay. All right. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. 525 00:22:11,163 --> 00:22:13,500 Hi. Paige, I'm so sorry. 526 00:22:13,533 --> 00:22:15,535 Yes, I'm right here for you. Okay. 527 00:22:15,568 --> 00:22:19,238 Uh, could you just ask me that one more time, please? 528 00:22:19,271 --> 00:22:21,708 Do you want to move in with me? 529 00:22:21,741 --> 00:22:23,876 Absolutely not. Oh, my God! 530 00:22:23,910 --> 00:22:25,978 -What? This is insane. -I know. 531 00:22:26,012 --> 00:22:27,847 And you have been asking me to move in with you 532 00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:29,148 since the moment we got together. 533 00:22:29,181 --> 00:22:30,517 I know. I know. I don't know what's happening. 534 00:22:30,550 --> 00:22:31,484 I don't know what's wrong with me. 535 00:22:31,518 --> 00:22:33,386 I'm so sorry. I don't know. 536 00:22:33,420 --> 00:22:34,754 Wait, wait, wait, Paige, wait. 537 00:22:34,787 --> 00:22:36,556 - Stop it. 538 00:22:36,589 --> 00:22:37,890 * 539 00:22:37,924 --> 00:22:41,994 No, I just--I can't be around you right now. 540 00:22:42,028 --> 00:22:49,068 * 541 00:22:53,072 --> 00:22:56,108 (ethereal hip-hop music) 542 00:22:56,142 --> 00:23:00,279 * 543 00:23:06,218 --> 00:23:07,887 MAN: * I'm that new shit 544 00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:09,722 * Fuck with this new shit 545 00:23:09,756 --> 00:23:13,125 * Up in the club acting like a brand new bitch * 546 00:23:13,159 --> 00:23:14,561 * Cash money spliffs 547 00:23:14,594 --> 00:23:16,128 * Smoking dead presidents 548 00:23:16,162 --> 00:23:18,397 * I'm about to beat the pussy up like a * 549 00:23:18,431 --> 00:23:19,699 (vocalizing) 550 00:23:19,732 --> 00:23:21,233 * Let's make a movie, show me * 551 00:23:21,267 --> 00:23:22,769 * I wanna film you 552 00:23:22,802 --> 00:23:24,471 * It's preparation for the shit * 553 00:23:24,504 --> 00:23:26,405 * We gon' get into 554 00:23:26,439 --> 00:23:27,740 * Tell your friends you got a ride * 555 00:23:27,774 --> 00:23:29,075 * You know I got you 556 00:23:29,108 --> 00:23:30,577 * Wet like the ocean 557 00:23:30,610 --> 00:23:32,579 * With that motion when I come through * 558 00:23:32,612 --> 00:23:36,949 * 'Cause I just wanted to mention * 559 00:23:36,983 --> 00:23:40,186 * Ooh, baby, I'm gonna make you sweat * 560 00:23:42,154 --> 00:23:43,189 ALL: Yes! 38069

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