Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:08,342
Ahh, ahh, ahh.
2
00:00:08,376 --> 00:00:11,011
Mmm, ahh, oh, oh, oh oh.
3
00:00:11,045 --> 00:00:14,748
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, ahh,
4
00:00:14,782 --> 00:00:17,851
ooh, ooh, ow, ooh, ooh, ooh.
5
00:00:17,885 --> 00:00:22,323
Ooh. Ah. Ahhhh.
6
00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:25,226
(receipt printing)
7
00:00:26,727 --> 00:00:30,364
(upbeat ethereal music)
8
00:00:30,398 --> 00:00:37,438
*
9
00:00:43,277 --> 00:00:46,247
(light guitar music)
10
00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:51,519
*
11
00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:55,623
WOMAN: Whoa,
chocolate with walnuts.
12
00:00:55,656 --> 00:00:57,791
Is that--oh, my God.
That's sea salt.
13
00:00:57,825 --> 00:00:59,393
Yeah.
14
00:00:59,427 --> 00:01:02,062
I'm gonna--I--
15
00:01:02,096 --> 00:01:05,633
Am I just eating something
just to eat?
16
00:01:05,666 --> 00:01:07,135
(sighs)
17
00:01:07,168 --> 00:01:10,771
I wonder how many calories--
no, I ate an hour ago.
18
00:01:10,804 --> 00:01:12,406
(sighs)
19
00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:15,476
Forget it.
20
00:01:15,509 --> 00:01:17,245
Well, maybe there's something
else I could get that's,
21
00:01:17,278 --> 00:01:19,247
like, less...
(sighs)
22
00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:22,883
like, a lot less...
23
00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:25,319
no, if I'm not here
to get this thing I want,
24
00:01:25,353 --> 00:01:27,755
then why would I get,
like, some other thing?
25
00:01:27,788 --> 00:01:31,592
So I feel all sorry
for myself.
26
00:01:31,625 --> 00:01:33,261
Fuck. Whatever.
27
00:01:33,294 --> 00:01:37,465
If I can't have it,
I won't have anything.
28
00:01:37,498 --> 00:01:40,067
I deserve to get something.
29
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:41,969
Okay, it's like,
"What the fuck am I"--
30
00:01:42,002 --> 00:01:44,238
okay. who the fuck cares
if I gain weight?
31
00:01:44,272 --> 00:01:46,440
I don't care.
32
00:01:46,474 --> 00:01:49,076
I could post a picture of it.
33
00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:51,445
Then I'm kind of killing
two birds with one--no.
34
00:01:51,479 --> 00:01:52,213
Why would I do that?
35
00:01:55,349 --> 00:01:58,686
(scoffs) Why can't I fucking
indulge once in a while?
36
00:01:58,719 --> 00:02:01,121
I am on this Earth to live.
37
00:02:01,155 --> 00:02:02,823
It's not just, like,
self-discipline,
38
00:02:02,856 --> 00:02:04,325
Western fucking culture
39
00:02:04,358 --> 00:02:05,759
getting in the way
of everything.
40
00:02:05,793 --> 00:02:08,329
It's...uh, eh, yeah.
41
00:02:08,362 --> 00:02:10,464
It's amazing I was even born,
42
00:02:10,498 --> 00:02:12,032
that I'm on this planet
right now
43
00:02:12,065 --> 00:02:13,934
in this moment.
It is a...
44
00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:15,303
fucking miracle.
45
00:02:18,005 --> 00:02:21,675
It's Saturday.
46
00:02:21,709 --> 00:02:22,976
Um, hi.
Excuse me.
47
00:02:23,010 --> 00:02:25,879
How much is this cookie
right here?
48
00:02:25,913 --> 00:02:27,481
- It's $6.
49
00:02:27,515 --> 00:02:31,519
- Oh, it--okay, thank you.
50
00:02:31,552 --> 00:02:32,520
Oh, excuse me
51
00:02:32,553 --> 00:02:33,687
$6 for a cookie.
52
00:02:33,721 --> 00:02:35,022
Who the hell would pay $6
for a cookie?
53
00:02:35,055 --> 00:02:37,491
Hi. Can I get a large
cappuccino to go, please?
54
00:02:37,525 --> 00:02:43,831
*
55
00:02:44,898 --> 00:02:49,237
(hip-hop music)
56
00:02:49,270 --> 00:02:52,340
It's New Year's Eve, baby!
57
00:02:52,373 --> 00:02:55,909
And a new Jerome
is about to drop right now!
58
00:02:55,943 --> 00:02:58,412
Tonight is the night!
59
00:02:58,446 --> 00:03:00,748
No more lies,
no more big romantic speeches.
60
00:03:00,781 --> 00:03:02,416
No more fuck ups.
61
00:03:02,450 --> 00:03:04,051
No more online dating.
62
00:03:04,084 --> 00:03:06,387
No more stupid
self-help bullshit.
63
00:03:06,420 --> 00:03:08,021
-Bye-bye, bullshit.
- Bye-bye.
64
00:03:08,055 --> 00:03:09,590
Tonight I'm just Jerome.
65
00:03:09,623 --> 00:03:11,024
No,
I'm better than Jerome.
66
00:03:11,058 --> 00:03:12,826
I'm the new Jerome.
67
00:03:12,860 --> 00:03:14,362
-Jerome reloaded.
-Exactly.
68
00:03:14,395 --> 00:03:16,196
Yeah, I'm gonna be
confident,
69
00:03:16,230 --> 00:03:18,699
smooth, funny, emotional,
but not too emotional.
70
00:03:18,732 --> 00:03:20,401
-The perfect balance.
- Yeah, you know,
71
00:03:20,434 --> 00:03:22,536
a man with strong boundaries
72
00:03:22,570 --> 00:03:25,005
but a compassionate
immigration policy.
73
00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:28,509
No more tricks,
no more schemes.
74
00:03:28,542 --> 00:03:32,380
Just me,
Jerome Nicholas Nolte.
75
00:03:32,413 --> 00:03:33,547
Cool. So what's the plan?
76
00:03:33,581 --> 00:03:35,383
Well, first I'll meet
a girl--no, a woman.
77
00:03:35,416 --> 00:03:36,917
-Upgrade.
-Yeah.
78
00:03:36,950 --> 00:03:39,287
I'll just be myself.
I'll be real. I'll be open.
79
00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:40,754
Open that shit up.
80
00:03:40,788 --> 00:03:42,089
Yeah and then I'll take her
in my arms when the clock's
81
00:03:42,122 --> 00:03:44,558
about to strike midnight and
give her the first
82
00:03:44,592 --> 00:03:47,861
in a long, beautiful lifetime
of consensual kisses.
83
00:03:47,895 --> 00:03:49,863
Now, this is the beginning,
my friend.
84
00:03:49,897 --> 00:03:51,131
And don't believe
for a second--
85
00:03:51,164 --> 00:03:53,567
Dude, it's 11:57.
86
00:03:53,601 --> 00:03:54,568
- What?
87
00:03:54,602 --> 00:03:57,571
(upbeat electronic music)
88
00:03:57,605 --> 00:04:01,942
*
89
00:04:01,975 --> 00:04:03,644
Oh. Hi.
90
00:04:03,677 --> 00:04:06,380
-Holler at you later.
-'Sup, boy. How you doin'?
91
00:04:06,414 --> 00:04:07,948
Oh, hi.
92
00:04:07,981 --> 00:04:09,149
WOMAN: Hey.
93
00:04:09,182 --> 00:04:10,751
Cheers.
94
00:04:10,784 --> 00:04:11,919
WOMAN: Cheers, baby.
95
00:04:11,952 --> 00:04:13,587
MAN: Yeah, get in here.
Come on.
96
00:04:13,621 --> 00:04:14,888
That's it.
97
00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:16,990
All right, 2019,
here we come.
98
00:04:17,024 --> 00:04:18,592
One minute left.
99
00:04:18,626 --> 00:04:21,429
- I--I need more time.
100
00:04:21,462 --> 00:04:22,596
I need more time.
101
00:04:22,630 --> 00:04:23,664
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
102
00:04:23,697 --> 00:04:25,599
*
103
00:04:25,633 --> 00:04:28,101
WOMAN: * Let's not waste
no time tonight *
104
00:04:28,135 --> 00:04:30,838
* Let's get things lit,
do it right *
105
00:04:30,871 --> 00:04:33,140
* Let's not waste
no time tonight *
106
00:04:33,173 --> 00:04:34,942
Hey, hey, hey, fuck this guy.
107
00:04:34,975 --> 00:04:37,177
Oh, I'm so--I'm sorry.
108
00:04:37,210 --> 00:04:41,915
I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry.
109
00:04:41,949 --> 00:04:44,918
(dramatic music)
110
00:04:44,952 --> 00:04:51,992
*
111
00:04:53,894 --> 00:04:55,329
- 30 seconds.
112
00:04:55,363 --> 00:04:56,764
Are you ready?
113
00:04:56,797 --> 00:05:00,334
(cheers)
114
00:05:00,368 --> 00:05:02,536
MAN: Bro, come on.
115
00:05:02,570 --> 00:05:08,676
*
116
00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:11,512
WOMAN: Ten.
117
00:05:11,545 --> 00:05:13,647
ALL: Nine. Eight.
Seven.
118
00:05:13,681 --> 00:05:15,649
Six. Five.
119
00:05:15,683 --> 00:05:18,318
Four. Three.
Two. One.
120
00:05:18,352 --> 00:05:19,820
(sobbing)
121
00:05:19,853 --> 00:05:25,659
(cheers)
122
00:05:25,693 --> 00:05:29,296
*
123
00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:31,164
(sobbing)
124
00:05:31,198 --> 00:05:33,734
Oh, no. Ohh.
125
00:05:33,767 --> 00:05:35,736
Oh, Jerome, no.
126
00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:45,546
(ethereal music)
127
00:05:46,213 --> 00:05:49,182
(spacey music)
128
00:05:49,216 --> 00:05:51,184
(squeaks)
129
00:05:51,218 --> 00:05:52,185
-(gasping)
130
00:05:52,219 --> 00:05:54,187
(alarm blaring)
131
00:05:54,221 --> 00:05:55,188
Ahh!
132
00:05:55,222 --> 00:05:57,157
-(humming)
133
00:05:57,190 --> 00:06:00,160
(spacey electronic music)
134
00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:07,267
*
135
00:06:09,069 --> 00:06:12,339
So I was at the poetry club,
but after I--
136
00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:14,708
I read my poem,
137
00:06:14,742 --> 00:06:16,910
everybody just laughed at me,
you know?
138
00:06:16,944 --> 00:06:20,047
The worst thing of all,
Grace was there.
139
00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:21,048
Oh.
140
00:06:21,081 --> 00:06:22,382
I mean,
that was just so devastating.
141
00:06:22,416 --> 00:06:25,052
So I just started crying there.
in front of everyone
142
00:06:25,085 --> 00:06:26,454
I just, like--
143
00:06:26,487 --> 00:06:28,556
You've got to stop--stop taking
so much from people.
144
00:06:28,589 --> 00:06:30,724
It's just not--this is why
we're at the bottom
145
00:06:30,758 --> 00:06:31,892
of the food chain.
146
00:06:31,925 --> 00:06:33,393
We've got to start
being more like Todd.
147
00:06:33,427 --> 00:06:35,095
-What?
-Todd Vicious.
148
00:06:35,128 --> 00:06:36,229
Look, look. Todd Vicious.
149
00:06:36,263 --> 00:06:39,066
That's Todd Vicious.
150
00:06:39,099 --> 00:06:40,400
-Holy shit.
-He doesn't--
151
00:06:40,434 --> 00:06:44,237
he doesn't go to poetry club
and cry over Grace.
152
00:06:44,271 --> 00:06:46,139
-I guess not.
-He just eat--
153
00:06:46,173 --> 00:06:49,109
he just swarms around
eating everything.
154
00:06:49,142 --> 00:06:51,411
You wanna hear my poem
that I wrote?
155
00:06:51,445 --> 00:06:52,580
Yeah, go on then.
156
00:06:53,814 --> 00:06:58,752
Grace, in my heart,
you have a place,
157
00:06:58,786 --> 00:07:00,588
a place called the club.
158
00:07:00,621 --> 00:07:02,790
* Holler if you know
what's up dog *
159
00:07:02,823 --> 00:07:05,759
* Yeah you better get down
on the dance floor *
160
00:07:05,793 --> 00:07:08,662
* Yeah shake that booty baby
uh *
161
00:07:08,696 --> 00:07:11,632
* Shake that booty
baby girl *
162
00:07:11,665 --> 00:07:14,602
* Oh yeah
163
00:07:14,635 --> 00:07:16,136
So it had--like,
it's kind of like
164
00:07:16,169 --> 00:07:18,772
an R&B influence there
in the end of the poem.
165
00:07:18,806 --> 00:07:21,008
-Yeah, you're gonna die alone.
-(laughs)
166
00:07:21,041 --> 00:07:23,977
(ethereal music)
167
00:07:26,714 --> 00:07:28,649
(hip-hop music)
168
00:07:29,517 --> 00:07:31,018
Oh. Oh, I'm so sorry.
169
00:07:31,051 --> 00:07:32,019
I didn't--sorry.
170
00:07:32,052 --> 00:07:33,353
-Oh.
-So sorry.
171
00:07:33,386 --> 00:07:36,524
I didn't--sorry.
172
00:07:36,557 --> 00:07:40,794
*
173
00:07:40,828 --> 00:07:42,295
* Nah she doesn't need you
174
00:07:42,329 --> 00:07:44,464
Don't I, uh--
don't I know you?
175
00:07:44,498 --> 00:07:46,199
Paige?
176
00:07:46,233 --> 00:07:47,334
PAIGE: I'm sorry.
I've forgotten your name.
177
00:07:47,367 --> 00:07:48,836
Your memory's better than mine.
178
00:07:48,869 --> 00:07:50,871
No, um, Jerome.
179
00:07:50,904 --> 00:07:54,041
I--I--I went on a date with you
a few months ago.
180
00:07:54,074 --> 00:07:56,644
Oh. You're that guy.
181
00:07:56,677 --> 00:07:59,212
MAN: * My name and
I'm never switching lanes *
182
00:07:59,246 --> 00:08:00,881
Yup.
183
00:08:00,914 --> 00:08:04,484
You look different.
184
00:08:04,518 --> 00:08:05,653
Oh, no. Well, yeah.
185
00:08:05,686 --> 00:08:07,054
I was just
trying something new.
186
00:08:07,087 --> 00:08:09,557
I didn't mean--yeah,
I--I don't know.
187
00:08:09,590 --> 00:08:12,860
I'm sorry. Ohh.
188
00:08:12,893 --> 00:08:16,564
What--what are you
apologizing for?
189
00:08:16,597 --> 00:08:19,466
I don't know.
190
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:23,136
Do you--do you wanna
talk about it?
191
00:08:23,170 --> 00:08:24,137
JEROME: I don't know.
192
00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:25,405
I just get attached
way too easily,
193
00:08:25,438 --> 00:08:27,575
way too easily,
and then I scare people away.
194
00:08:27,608 --> 00:08:29,843
I scare people away,
and then I--I get clingy.
195
00:08:29,877 --> 00:08:31,244
I get jealous.
196
00:08:31,278 --> 00:08:34,414
And I don't--like, do you wanna
hear something really stupid?
197
00:08:34,447 --> 00:08:35,716
-Always.
-Okay.
198
00:08:35,749 --> 00:08:39,419
So I was gonna come into this
party and pretend to be
199
00:08:39,452 --> 00:08:40,888
somebody totally different.
200
00:08:40,921 --> 00:08:43,356
I--I do this sort of thing
all the time.
201
00:08:43,390 --> 00:08:45,025
I try to pump myself up,
202
00:08:45,058 --> 00:08:47,194
and I try to pretend
like I'm confident,
203
00:08:47,227 --> 00:08:49,863
like I'm smooth,
like I'm tough, and--
204
00:08:49,897 --> 00:08:52,432
- Ah, hence our date,
Mr. Terminator.
205
00:08:52,465 --> 00:08:53,667
-Yeah.
-(laughs)
206
00:08:53,701 --> 00:08:54,935
No. I don't know.
207
00:08:54,968 --> 00:08:57,705
I feel like I'm trying my best.
208
00:08:57,738 --> 00:08:59,206
I feel like I'm trying
a million different things,
209
00:08:59,239 --> 00:09:00,373
and it's not working at all.
210
00:09:00,407 --> 00:09:02,442
It never works,
and I don't--I don't--
211
00:09:02,475 --> 00:09:04,878
I don't know what to do.
212
00:09:04,912 --> 00:09:07,347
You're sensitive.
213
00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:08,782
Over-sensitive.
214
00:09:08,816 --> 00:09:10,083
Well, it's better
than the opposite.
215
00:09:10,117 --> 00:09:12,586
Oh, yeah. How do you mean?
216
00:09:12,620 --> 00:09:16,890
Okay, so you scare people away.
217
00:09:16,924 --> 00:09:18,859
I push 'em away.
218
00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:20,093
Uh-uh.
219
00:09:20,127 --> 00:09:21,261
PAIGE: And I work all the time.
220
00:09:21,294 --> 00:09:22,529
I mean,
I've had relationships end,
221
00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:25,232
because I've literally
forgotten I was in them.
222
00:09:25,265 --> 00:09:27,935
-Really?
-(laughs)
223
00:09:27,968 --> 00:09:29,603
MAN: * Want to kiss
on your body *
224
00:09:29,637 --> 00:09:32,706
I wasn't kissing anyone
at midnight either, you know?
225
00:09:32,740 --> 00:09:34,574
I was actually in the room
over there
226
00:09:34,608 --> 00:09:36,610
just having a little moment
to myself.
227
00:09:36,644 --> 00:09:39,747
ALL: Nine. Eight. Seven.
228
00:09:39,780 --> 00:09:42,382
Six. Five. Four.
229
00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:46,119
Three. Two. One.
230
00:09:46,153 --> 00:09:47,420
I hate that part
about New Year's.
231
00:09:47,454 --> 00:09:51,291
You get all sweaty and nervous,
232
00:09:51,324 --> 00:09:53,627
and you end up snogging
some stranger
233
00:09:53,661 --> 00:09:55,996
whose name
you'll never remember.
234
00:09:56,029 --> 00:09:57,430
Gross.
235
00:09:57,464 --> 00:09:59,599
- I guess it is kind of gross.
236
00:09:59,633 --> 00:10:01,501
I never thought of it
like that.
237
00:10:01,534 --> 00:10:04,171
That's a really astute
observation.
238
00:10:04,204 --> 00:10:06,606
Thank you.
239
00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:08,175
Every card I'm shufflin'.
240
00:10:08,208 --> 00:10:09,943
Okay, but--all right, no.
241
00:10:09,977 --> 00:10:11,679
Okay, you're gonna pick a card,
any card.
242
00:10:11,712 --> 00:10:12,746
All right, ready?
243
00:10:12,780 --> 00:10:14,481
This is a very important
magic trick.
244
00:10:14,514 --> 00:10:16,684
Okay. Ready? Go ahead.
All right. Not you.
245
00:10:16,717 --> 00:10:17,785
Your friend.
I don't care about you.
246
00:10:17,818 --> 00:10:19,753
Okay. All right. Cool.
Pick one.
247
00:10:19,787 --> 00:10:22,289
All right, ready? Go ahead.
Pick. No. Not you.
248
00:10:22,322 --> 00:10:24,692
The cute one. Go ahead.
249
00:10:24,725 --> 00:10:26,526
No. I said "the cute one."
250
00:10:26,559 --> 00:10:28,428
No. I'm just kidding.
Go ahead and pick.
251
00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:30,798
Okay, great.
And don't let me see.
252
00:10:30,831 --> 00:10:33,300
MAN: * Every time I say
I want you want you *
253
00:10:33,333 --> 00:10:34,634
- Do you need me
to put the card
254
00:10:34,668 --> 00:10:36,804
back in the deck or something?
255
00:10:36,837 --> 00:10:42,309
Um...no.
256
00:10:42,342 --> 00:10:43,811
*
257
00:10:43,844 --> 00:10:45,946
What I need is that.
258
00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:48,849
WOMAN: Hey.
Where are you going?
259
00:10:48,882 --> 00:10:51,284
I was just one neg away
from fucking you.
260
00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:58,358
*
261
00:11:12,039 --> 00:11:14,141
PAIGE: (laughing)
262
00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:15,508
With the cool group.
263
00:11:15,542 --> 00:11:17,377
-He did not.
-Yes, he did.
264
00:11:17,410 --> 00:11:19,246
It was disgusting.
265
00:11:19,279 --> 00:11:20,547
But I mean, at least we got
a verdict, so...
266
00:11:20,580 --> 00:11:22,015
Oh, God.
267
00:11:22,049 --> 00:11:24,885
Well, hey, I'm really glad
I have a new lawyer friend now
268
00:11:24,918 --> 00:11:26,319
in case I ever get arrested.
269
00:11:26,353 --> 00:11:28,388
Why? Are there some
nefarious activities
270
00:11:28,421 --> 00:11:29,823
I should know about?
271
00:11:29,857 --> 00:11:31,524
- Ah, well, there's a very
good chance I could drown
272
00:11:31,558 --> 00:11:33,026
everyone at this party
with my own tears.
273
00:11:33,060 --> 00:11:34,161
PAIGE: If they can't
prove intent,
274
00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:35,195
you're out in 18 months, mate.
275
00:11:35,228 --> 00:11:37,030
JEROME: Okay, the way we
designed it is,
276
00:11:37,064 --> 00:11:39,032
you snooze once,
that's fine.
277
00:11:39,066 --> 00:11:41,601
You snooze again,
it sends one random photo
278
00:11:41,634 --> 00:11:44,037
to one random contact
in your library.
279
00:11:44,071 --> 00:11:45,238
Yeah,
and then you snooze again,
280
00:11:45,272 --> 00:11:47,507
it sends two random photos
to two random contacts,
281
00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:48,708
and blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah, and so on and so on.
282
00:11:48,742 --> 00:11:50,343
Ooh, boy, that's dangerous.
283
00:11:50,377 --> 00:11:51,611
Yeah, kind of.
284
00:11:51,644 --> 00:11:53,513
Yeah, we're thinking about
calling it, uh, "Wake Mail."
285
00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:54,915
You know, kind of like
"blackmail" but "Wake Mail."
286
00:11:54,948 --> 00:11:59,452
That's a shit name, but the app
itself is a good idea.
287
00:11:59,486 --> 00:12:01,388
Hey. Thanks.
Yeah, it's still in beta.
288
00:12:01,421 --> 00:12:02,890
But I think we're,
uh--
289
00:12:02,923 --> 00:12:04,892
-Just hold on a second.
-What are you doing?
290
00:12:04,925 --> 00:12:07,961
-Hold on.
-Look, if there's some...
291
00:12:07,995 --> 00:12:11,464
I have set your phone
to Central Time.
292
00:12:11,498 --> 00:12:12,699
Okay.
293
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:16,369
It's almost midnight
in Tulsa, Oklahoma.
294
00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:17,905
Oh. Okay. Um.
295
00:12:17,938 --> 00:12:19,072
-Ten. Nine.
-I don't get it.
296
00:12:19,106 --> 00:12:21,074
Do you have family in Tulsa,
Oklahoma?
297
00:12:21,108 --> 00:12:23,610
-Eight. Seven.
-Why are you counting?
298
00:12:23,643 --> 00:12:24,311
Are you trying
to hypnotize me?
299
00:12:24,344 --> 00:12:25,879
- Six. Five.
300
00:12:25,913 --> 00:12:28,048
I should let you know
I don't do very well with that,
301
00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:29,749
so maybe I should call someone.
302
00:12:29,783 --> 00:12:33,553
Three. Two.
303
00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:34,955
*
304
00:12:34,988 --> 00:12:38,558
MAN: * She can be
whatever she wants *
305
00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:40,660
ALL: (gasp)
306
00:12:43,630 --> 00:12:46,834
(funky music)
307
00:12:46,867 --> 00:12:48,836
(siren wailing)
308
00:12:48,869 --> 00:12:50,303
*
309
00:12:50,337 --> 00:12:52,472
(loud thump)
310
00:13:04,384 --> 00:13:06,119
MAN: * Ambu-ambulance
311
00:13:06,153 --> 00:13:07,587
* Ambulance
312
00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:09,589
(sirens wailing)
313
00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:11,491
(ethereal music)
314
00:13:15,028 --> 00:13:17,530
(ethereal music)
315
00:13:22,169 --> 00:13:25,873
(camera shutter clicks)
316
00:13:25,906 --> 00:13:28,976
(birds chirping)
317
00:13:40,687 --> 00:13:42,389
CHRISTINA: Did you see that
little coffee shop over there?
318
00:13:42,422 --> 00:13:43,490
IAN: Yeah, I did.
It was adorable.
319
00:13:43,523 --> 00:13:44,657
-ALICE: Hi.
-CHRISTINA: Really cute.
320
00:13:44,691 --> 00:13:45,993
-IAN: Oh, hi, there.
-CHRISTINA: Hi.
321
00:13:46,026 --> 00:13:46,994
-ALICE: I'm Alice.
-IAN: Alice, nice to meet you.
322
00:13:47,027 --> 00:13:47,827
Ian.
ALICE: Hi.
323
00:13:47,861 --> 00:13:49,162
CHRISTINA: Christina.
324
00:13:49,196 --> 00:13:50,030
Thank you for seeing us
on such short notice.
325
00:13:50,063 --> 00:13:51,865
Oh, my gosh.
No problem at all.
326
00:13:51,899 --> 00:13:53,300
Uh, did you guys get a chance
to check out the neighborhood?
327
00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:55,635
CHRISTINA: Oh, yeah, no, it's
funky, and I like it.
328
00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:56,503
-ALICE: Yeah.
-IAN: Very eclectic.
329
00:13:56,536 --> 00:13:58,171
It has a lot of character,
330
00:13:58,205 --> 00:13:59,372
and it's in
a great school district.
331
00:13:59,406 --> 00:14:00,540
-CHRISTINA: Oh, nice.
-IAN: Oh, wonderful.
332
00:14:00,573 --> 00:14:01,574
Did I see a little
dog park over there?
333
00:14:01,608 --> 00:14:02,675
Yeah, there is a
little dog park.
334
00:14:02,709 --> 00:14:04,011
IAN: Oh, adorable.
335
00:14:04,044 --> 00:14:05,412
Well, why don't I show
you into the unit?
336
00:14:05,445 --> 00:14:06,880
CHRISTINA: Yeah. Let's go.
337
00:14:06,914 --> 00:14:09,749
ALICE: I think you're gonna
love it; it's very special.
338
00:14:09,782 --> 00:14:12,252
-CHRISTINA: Oh, my God.
-IAN: Ooh.
339
00:14:12,285 --> 00:14:13,720
CHRISTINA: Look at these
hardwood floors.
340
00:14:13,753 --> 00:14:14,854
-IAN: Oh, my gosh.
-ALICE: Yes, you know,
341
00:14:14,888 --> 00:14:16,489
these are the original
hardwood floors,
342
00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:17,857
and we found
them underneath carpet.
343
00:14:17,891 --> 00:14:19,026
-IAN: No, you didn't.
-CHRISTINA: Ew.
344
00:14:19,059 --> 00:14:20,193
ALICE: Yes, we did.
It happens all the time.
345
00:14:20,227 --> 00:14:22,662
IAN: Who does that?
It's so tacky.
346
00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:25,598
ALICE: It's not my thing.
This is the sunroom.
347
00:14:25,632 --> 00:14:26,934
-IAN: Ooh.
-CHRISTINA: Ohh.
348
00:14:26,967 --> 00:14:29,869
ALICE: But you could use it
as an office or a playroom.
349
00:14:29,903 --> 00:14:31,238
Sort of a...
IAN: Ooh, a playroom.
350
00:14:31,271 --> 00:14:32,239
-ALICE: Playroom.
-IAN: (laughs)
351
00:14:32,272 --> 00:14:33,706
ALICE: Are you guys expecting?
352
00:14:33,740 --> 00:14:36,109
-IAN: No, we're trying.
-CHRISTINA: Trying to expect.
353
00:14:36,143 --> 00:14:37,210
IAN: We're planning.
354
00:14:37,244 --> 00:14:38,545
CHRISTINA:
Planning on planning.
355
00:14:38,578 --> 00:14:40,380
ALICE: Wonderful. I love that.
356
00:14:40,413 --> 00:14:43,383
Okay. Did I mention
it is a 2 1/2 bath?
357
00:14:43,416 --> 00:14:45,385
CHRISTINA: Oh. That's, like,
pretty much three bathrooms.
358
00:14:45,418 --> 00:14:46,786
No, it's not a problem.
359
00:14:46,819 --> 00:14:50,958
ALICE: All right,
moving right along.
360
00:14:50,991 --> 00:14:55,262
-IAN: Oh, my God.
-CHRISTINA: Oh. Holy cow.
361
00:14:55,295 --> 00:14:56,463
IAN: Wow.
362
00:14:56,496 --> 00:14:58,365
CHRISTINA: The light in here
is amazing.
363
00:14:58,398 --> 00:15:00,433
-ALICE: I know.
-IAN: This is unbelievable.
364
00:15:00,467 --> 00:15:02,069
CHRISTINA: It gets beautiful
natural light.
365
00:15:02,102 --> 00:15:03,636
IAN: Oh, my--and this is
westward-facing?
366
00:15:03,670 --> 00:15:04,771
ALICE: Yeah, it's west-facing.
367
00:15:04,804 --> 00:15:06,273
IAN: You can see that.
I love a sunset.
368
00:15:06,306 --> 00:15:08,241
ALICE: Good eye,
and this is all new
369
00:15:08,275 --> 00:15:09,276
stainless steel appliances.
370
00:15:09,309 --> 00:15:10,577
IAN: Oh, my gosh, brand-new.
371
00:15:10,610 --> 00:15:11,911
Listen, I'll take original
hardwood floors
372
00:15:11,945 --> 00:15:12,912
but not original...
373
00:15:12,946 --> 00:15:13,981
IAN AND CHRISTINA: Appliances.
374
00:15:14,014 --> 00:15:15,082
(laughter)
375
00:15:15,115 --> 00:15:16,416
IAN: No, thank you.
376
00:15:16,449 --> 00:15:18,285
ALICE: Why don't I show you
the master bedroom?
377
00:15:18,318 --> 00:15:19,119
You're really gonna love it.
378
00:15:19,152 --> 00:15:21,955
CHRISTINA: Oh, wonderful.
379
00:15:28,795 --> 00:15:31,598
Sir. Sir. Sir.
380
00:15:31,631 --> 00:15:33,666
Sir, I'm sorry.
381
00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:34,667
I'm sorry, okay?
382
00:15:34,701 --> 00:15:36,736
This is an active crime scene.
383
00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:39,806
I need you to stay here.
384
00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:47,680
(camera shutter clicks)
385
00:15:47,714 --> 00:15:49,116
(laughter)
386
00:15:49,149 --> 00:15:51,251
ALICE: I know.
I need a good bathtub as well
387
00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:52,485
-CHRISTINA: I know.
-ALICE: It's very important.
388
00:15:52,519 --> 00:15:54,321
CHRISTINA: It's, like,
bigger from the inside
389
00:15:54,354 --> 00:15:55,788
than it is from the outside.
-ALICE: I know.
390
00:15:55,822 --> 00:15:57,290
IAN: The place just keeps going
and going and going.
391
00:15:57,324 --> 00:15:58,491
It's surprisingly spacious,
392
00:15:58,525 --> 00:15:59,659
and it's all in the details,
you know?
393
00:15:59,692 --> 00:16:00,927
Like that half-moon window.
394
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:02,029
IAN: Oh, gorgeous.
395
00:16:02,062 --> 00:16:03,296
CHRISTINA: Kind of checks
all of our boxes.
396
00:16:03,330 --> 00:16:05,798
Yes, this is everything
we are looking for.
397
00:16:05,832 --> 00:16:06,866
Great.
398
00:16:06,899 --> 00:16:08,768
It feels like,
uh, like a home.
399
00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:09,869
It could be a home.
400
00:16:09,902 --> 00:16:11,304
Well, you know what?
No rush.
401
00:16:11,338 --> 00:16:13,173
No pressure. Take a few nights
to sleep on it.
402
00:16:13,206 --> 00:16:14,874
- Just, like, one--just, like,
one or two nights.
403
00:16:14,907 --> 00:16:15,975
-ALICE: Yeah.
-IAN: We want it.
404
00:16:16,009 --> 00:16:17,210
Do you have my contact
information?
405
00:16:17,244 --> 00:16:18,311
-IAN: We want it.
-ALICE: Yeah, you know what?
406
00:16:18,345 --> 00:16:19,646
In case you forgot,
here's another card.
407
00:16:19,679 --> 00:16:20,647
-IAN: Oh, thank you so much.
-CHRISTINA: Thank you.
408
00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:21,648
It was so lovely
to meet you.
409
00:16:21,681 --> 00:16:23,183
It was so lovely meeting you.
410
00:16:23,216 --> 00:16:24,484
-IAN: Alice, it was a pleasure.
-ALICE: Yeah, nice to meet.
411
00:16:24,517 --> 00:16:25,852
-IAN: Thank you so much.
-ALICE: And you know what?
412
00:16:25,885 --> 00:16:27,154
There is a really great coffee
shop right down the street.
413
00:16:27,187 --> 00:16:28,388
We saw that. We saw that.
We're gonna check it out.
414
00:16:28,421 --> 00:16:29,789
-IAN: Try it out.
-ALICE: Wonderful.
415
00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:30,723
-IAN: Thanks, Alice.
-ALICE: All right, well,
416
00:16:30,757 --> 00:16:31,824
have a great day.
-IAN: Thank you.
417
00:16:31,858 --> 00:16:33,193
-CHRISTINA: Bye.
-ALICE: Take care.
418
00:16:33,226 --> 00:16:34,194
IAN: Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow,
wow, wow, wow, wow.
419
00:16:34,227 --> 00:16:36,296
CHRISTINA: It's so cute.
420
00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:39,366
(camera shutter clicks)
421
00:16:41,768 --> 00:16:42,835
Thanks, guys.
That was great.
422
00:16:42,869 --> 00:16:43,870
-MAN: Oh.
-MAN: Oh.
423
00:16:43,903 --> 00:16:44,971
-ALICE: Yeah, yeah.
-MAN: Great.
424
00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:46,306
-ALICE: Nice work.
-MAN: Thanks.
425
00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:47,807
-BILL: I'm gonna get coffee.
ALICE: See ya, Bill.
426
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:49,842
-MAN: Good night.
-ALICE: Take care.
427
00:16:49,876 --> 00:16:52,845
-GIRL: See you at home.
-ALICE: See you at home.
428
00:17:09,796 --> 00:17:14,101
(ethereal music)
429
00:17:14,134 --> 00:17:15,535
*
430
00:17:15,568 --> 00:17:18,538
(gloomy music)
431
00:17:18,571 --> 00:17:22,242
MEN AND WOMEN:
Tree secrets.
432
00:17:22,275 --> 00:17:23,843
I sing in the shower.
433
00:17:23,876 --> 00:17:25,112
I do it every day.
434
00:17:25,145 --> 00:17:26,213
(laughs)
435
00:17:26,246 --> 00:17:28,248
I feel like I sound
pretty good.
436
00:17:28,281 --> 00:17:30,350
I get a little funky in there,
437
00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:32,352
let it loose,
let it rip a little bit,
438
00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:33,720
and then I zip it up,
439
00:17:33,753 --> 00:17:35,755
not singing for me
the rest of the day.
440
00:17:35,788 --> 00:17:37,424
(ethereal music)
441
00:17:41,094 --> 00:17:44,631
(ethereal music)
442
00:17:46,733 --> 00:17:49,469
(cables stretching)
443
00:17:55,675 --> 00:17:57,577
(hip-hop music)
444
00:17:57,610 --> 00:17:59,746
Jerome.
445
00:17:59,779 --> 00:18:02,749
Oh. Oh, my God. Am I dead?
446
00:18:02,782 --> 00:18:04,417
Are you okay?
447
00:18:04,451 --> 00:18:06,085
What happened?
448
00:18:06,119 --> 00:18:09,789
I, uh, I kissed you.
That's what happened.
449
00:18:09,822 --> 00:18:12,625
Wait. Why?
450
00:18:12,659 --> 00:18:14,827
What do you mean, "Why?"
451
00:18:14,861 --> 00:18:17,930
Oh.
452
00:18:17,964 --> 00:18:19,899
I told you everything
that was wrong with me.
453
00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:21,968
Why would you wanna kiss me?
454
00:18:22,001 --> 00:18:23,436
What are you talking about?
455
00:18:23,470 --> 00:18:25,338
There's nothing wrong
with you, Jerome.
456
00:18:27,307 --> 00:18:28,508
- There isn't?
457
00:18:28,541 --> 00:18:33,580
Well, nothing major.
458
00:18:33,613 --> 00:18:35,948
I'd kiss you again,
but I don't want to cause
459
00:18:35,982 --> 00:18:37,650
any more head trauma.
460
00:18:40,853 --> 00:18:43,623
Do you want to dance?
461
00:18:46,326 --> 00:18:47,994
Yeah.
462
00:18:48,027 --> 00:18:50,997
(upbeat electronic music)
463
00:18:51,030 --> 00:18:58,070
*
464
00:19:17,257 --> 00:19:19,125
WOMAN: (vocalizing)
465
00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:26,199
*
466
00:19:28,701 --> 00:19:32,205
WOMAN: (vocalizing)
467
00:19:42,882 --> 00:19:44,851
2020, bitches!
468
00:19:44,884 --> 00:19:46,185
Ten.
469
00:19:46,219 --> 00:19:50,022
ALL: Nine. Eight. Seven. Six.
470
00:19:50,056 --> 00:19:52,925
Five. Four. Three.
471
00:19:52,959 --> 00:19:56,229
Two. One.
472
00:19:56,263 --> 00:19:58,431
WOMAN: Happy New Year!
473
00:19:58,465 --> 00:20:01,668
-MAN: Whoo!
-WOMAN: Happy New Year!
474
00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:05,037
WOMAN: Yeah!
475
00:20:05,071 --> 00:20:07,507
Whoo!
Happy New Year.
476
00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:09,442
*
477
00:20:09,476 --> 00:20:10,943
I love you, Jerome.
478
00:20:10,977 --> 00:20:13,946
I love you too.
479
00:20:13,980 --> 00:20:18,050
*
480
00:20:18,084 --> 00:20:20,920
I got you a gift.
481
00:20:20,953 --> 00:20:22,389
You did?
482
00:20:22,422 --> 00:20:23,690
-Of course.
-Hey.
483
00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:25,892
It's our one-year anniversary.
484
00:20:25,925 --> 00:20:30,062
Hey. Yo.
485
00:20:30,096 --> 00:20:34,867
Thank you.
486
00:20:34,901 --> 00:20:36,569
Wow.
487
00:20:36,603 --> 00:20:38,638
It's beautiful.
488
00:20:38,671 --> 00:20:43,310
It's the state of Oklahoma,
and the heart is Tulsa.
489
00:20:43,343 --> 00:20:46,579
*
490
00:20:46,613 --> 00:20:47,914
Where we had our first kiss.
491
00:20:47,947 --> 00:20:52,218
Mm-hmm.
492
00:20:52,251 --> 00:20:53,586
Oh, thank you.
493
00:20:53,620 --> 00:20:55,622
You know,
it's actually perfect,
494
00:20:55,655 --> 00:20:57,290
because I needed a new
key chain anyway.
495
00:20:57,324 --> 00:20:58,625
Well,
it's not for your keys.
496
00:20:58,658 --> 00:21:02,762
It's for our keys.
497
00:21:02,795 --> 00:21:05,264
Our keys?
498
00:21:05,298 --> 00:21:08,601
I'm saying that I'm ready.
499
00:21:08,635 --> 00:21:10,470
Do you wanna move in together?
500
00:21:10,503 --> 00:21:14,841
I...absolutely
501
00:21:14,874 --> 00:21:16,743
do not want to
move in with you.
502
00:21:16,776 --> 00:21:17,810
-What?
-What?
503
00:21:17,844 --> 00:21:18,911
-I'm sorry.
- I don't understand.
504
00:21:18,945 --> 00:21:20,847
-Are you joking?
- No. No. I'm sorry.
505
00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:23,650
Um, um, wait, uh.
You know what?
506
00:21:23,683 --> 00:21:24,751
Something's wrong.
507
00:21:24,784 --> 00:21:26,118
Could you just ask me that
again, please?
508
00:21:26,152 --> 00:21:28,955
Uh, Jerome...
509
00:21:28,988 --> 00:21:29,922
Yes.
510
00:21:29,956 --> 00:21:31,858
Do you want to
move in with me?
511
00:21:31,891 --> 00:21:35,462
Uh, I would love
nothing more than for us
512
00:21:35,495 --> 00:21:39,432
to continue to date while
living in separate residences.
513
00:21:39,466 --> 00:21:41,868
Oh, my God.
Jesus!
514
00:21:41,901 --> 00:21:43,803
I'm sorry.
Um, you know what?
515
00:21:43,836 --> 00:21:46,673
I'm just gonna--I'm gonna
take--listen, nope, nope.
516
00:21:46,706 --> 00:21:48,808
It's not--I'm gonna take
a moment over here.
517
00:21:48,841 --> 00:21:50,810
I'll be right back; just
stay--just stay right here.
518
00:21:50,843 --> 00:21:54,481
I'll be right back.
519
00:21:54,514 --> 00:21:57,450
Do you want to move in with me?
520
00:21:57,484 --> 00:22:00,720
Yes. Paige, yes.
521
00:22:00,753 --> 00:22:03,055
You're the best thing
that's ever happened to me.
522
00:22:03,089 --> 00:22:06,058
Not only that, I want to spend
my whole life with you.
523
00:22:06,092 --> 00:22:08,995
Yes. Yes.
A million times yes.
524
00:22:09,028 --> 00:22:11,130
Okay. All right.
Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi.
525
00:22:11,163 --> 00:22:13,500
Hi.
Paige, I'm so sorry.
526
00:22:13,533 --> 00:22:15,535
Yes, I'm right here for you.
Okay.
527
00:22:15,568 --> 00:22:19,238
Uh, could you just ask me that
one more time, please?
528
00:22:19,271 --> 00:22:21,708
Do you want to
move in with me?
529
00:22:21,741 --> 00:22:23,876
Absolutely not. Oh, my God!
530
00:22:23,910 --> 00:22:25,978
-What? This is insane.
-I know.
531
00:22:26,012 --> 00:22:27,847
And you have been asking me
to move in with you
532
00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:29,148
since the moment
we got together.
533
00:22:29,181 --> 00:22:30,517
I know. I know.
I don't know what's happening.
534
00:22:30,550 --> 00:22:31,484
I don't know what's wrong
with me.
535
00:22:31,518 --> 00:22:33,386
I'm so sorry. I don't know.
536
00:22:33,420 --> 00:22:34,754
Wait, wait, wait, Paige, wait.
537
00:22:34,787 --> 00:22:36,556
- Stop it.
538
00:22:36,589 --> 00:22:37,890
*
539
00:22:37,924 --> 00:22:41,994
No, I just--I can't be
around you right now.
540
00:22:42,028 --> 00:22:49,068
*
541
00:22:53,072 --> 00:22:56,108
(ethereal hip-hop music)
542
00:22:56,142 --> 00:23:00,279
*
543
00:23:06,218 --> 00:23:07,887
MAN:
* I'm that new shit
544
00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:09,722
* Fuck with this new shit
545
00:23:09,756 --> 00:23:13,125
* Up in the club acting
like a brand new bitch *
546
00:23:13,159 --> 00:23:14,561
* Cash money spliffs
547
00:23:14,594 --> 00:23:16,128
* Smoking dead presidents
548
00:23:16,162 --> 00:23:18,397
* I'm about to beat
the pussy up like a *
549
00:23:18,431 --> 00:23:19,699
(vocalizing)
550
00:23:19,732 --> 00:23:21,233
* Let's make a movie,
show me *
551
00:23:21,267 --> 00:23:22,769
* I wanna film you
552
00:23:22,802 --> 00:23:24,471
* It's preparation
for the shit *
553
00:23:24,504 --> 00:23:26,405
* We gon' get into
554
00:23:26,439 --> 00:23:27,740
* Tell your friends
you got a ride *
555
00:23:27,774 --> 00:23:29,075
* You know I got you
556
00:23:29,108 --> 00:23:30,577
* Wet like the ocean
557
00:23:30,610 --> 00:23:32,579
* With that motion
when I come through *
558
00:23:32,612 --> 00:23:36,949
* 'Cause I just wanted
to mention *
559
00:23:36,983 --> 00:23:40,186
* Ooh, baby,
I'm gonna make you sweat *
560
00:23:42,154 --> 00:23:43,189
ALL: Yes!
38069
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.