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1
00:00:07,094 --> 00:00:07,964
Come on, kid.Get out of here.
2
00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:09,400
-Ice cream.
-What?
3
00:00:09,444 --> 00:00:11,185
-Ice cream.
-No money, no ice cream.
4
00:00:11,228 --> 00:00:12,316
-Come on, let's go.
-Ice cream.
5
00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:13,839
You're holding up the line.Let's go.
6
00:00:13,883 --> 00:00:15,885
Ice cream!
7
00:00:16,973 --> 00:00:19,932
[upbeat funky music]
8
00:00:19,976 --> 00:00:26,983
♪
9
00:00:29,507 --> 00:00:31,770
[tranquil music]
10
00:00:31,814 --> 00:00:33,120
[laughter]
11
00:00:33,163 --> 00:00:34,643
WOMAN:
We have an Australian teacher.
12
00:00:34,686 --> 00:00:37,559
-Don't break your tailfin.
-BOTH: Already broken, bitch.
13
00:00:37,602 --> 00:00:39,213
-Is it "beach"?
-Say "beach."
14
00:00:39,256 --> 00:00:40,475
Beach.
Already broken, beach.
15
00:00:40,518 --> 00:00:42,129
Oh, well, okay.
That was good.
16
00:00:42,172 --> 00:00:44,305
[laughter]
17
00:00:44,348 --> 00:00:45,480
This sucks.
18
00:00:45,523 --> 00:00:47,351
I can't believeI won't see you guys
19
00:00:47,395 --> 00:00:48,483
until after the holiday.
20
00:00:48,526 --> 00:00:50,093
Oof, I know.
21
00:00:50,137 --> 00:00:52,748
Um, I'm not gonna do anythingwithout you.
22
00:00:52,791 --> 00:00:54,097
I'm gonna be alone,
23
00:00:54,141 --> 00:00:55,229
and you're gonna makenew friends
24
00:00:55,272 --> 00:00:57,448
and be all like,"Uh, who are you again?"
25
00:00:57,492 --> 00:00:59,363
Oh, my God.
Shut your stupid face.
26
00:00:59,407 --> 00:01:01,583
Listen, I promise you
nothing is gonna change.
27
00:01:01,626 --> 00:01:03,889
-We're best friends.
-Okay.
28
00:01:03,933 --> 00:01:05,282
Don't break your tailfin.
29
00:01:05,326 --> 00:01:07,589
BOTH:
Already broken, bitch.
30
00:01:07,632 --> 00:01:09,808
-[laughter]
-What was that?
31
00:01:09,852 --> 00:01:11,114
Bitch, I was like,
"Hey," I was like,
32
00:01:11,158 --> 00:01:13,116
"That is not Australian."
33
00:01:13,160 --> 00:01:14,596
See you guys.Bye.
34
00:01:14,639 --> 00:01:16,293
-Bye.
-Bye.
35
00:01:16,989 --> 00:01:19,949
[spacey music]
36
00:01:19,992 --> 00:01:26,956
♪
37
00:01:37,009 --> 00:01:39,186
[moans]
38
00:01:39,229 --> 00:01:41,405
Charlotte,
look who it is.
39
00:01:41,449 --> 00:01:42,928
-Oh, my God, Mia!
-[squealing] Mia!
40
00:01:42,972 --> 00:01:44,321
Hey, how are you?
41
00:01:44,365 --> 00:01:46,280
Oh, you look amazing.
42
00:01:46,323 --> 00:01:49,152
You've changed so much
over the summer.
43
00:01:49,196 --> 00:01:50,980
Thanks.
44
00:01:51,023 --> 00:01:52,938
It's great to see you guys too.
45
00:01:52,982 --> 00:01:54,810
Guys, you'll never believe
where I went yesterday.
46
00:01:54,853 --> 00:01:55,854
Where'd you go?
47
00:01:55,898 --> 00:01:57,943
-Well, basically--
-[inhales]
48
00:01:57,987 --> 00:01:59,380
Do you smell that?
49
00:01:59,423 --> 00:02:01,382
Um, I'm not sure
I smell anything--
50
00:02:01,425 --> 00:02:03,949
Hey, guys,
don't break your tailfin.
51
00:02:03,993 --> 00:02:05,081
Already broken--
52
00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:07,431
Smells likethe best smell ever.
53
00:02:07,475 --> 00:02:12,175
-Uh...
-Smells like...eat.
54
00:02:12,219 --> 00:02:13,742
[roars]
55
00:02:13,785 --> 00:02:14,525
[man yelling and crying]
56
00:02:14,569 --> 00:02:16,397
Oh, my God.
57
00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:17,789
MAN: [yells]
No!
58
00:02:17,833 --> 00:02:18,834
[bones crunch]
59
00:02:18,877 --> 00:02:21,053
I thought she was
vegetarian.
60
00:02:21,097 --> 00:02:22,054
[Jarina De Marco's
"Identity Crisis"]
61
00:02:22,098 --> 00:02:24,231
JARINA: [vocalizing]
62
00:02:24,274 --> 00:02:26,624
[ticking]
63
00:02:26,668 --> 00:02:27,886
[ticking stops]
64
00:02:27,930 --> 00:02:31,977
[screams]
65
00:02:32,021 --> 00:02:34,850
-[whimpering]
-[animal howls]
66
00:02:40,421 --> 00:02:43,467
[breathes deeply]
67
00:02:47,254 --> 00:02:48,472
Hope?
68
00:02:56,263 --> 00:02:57,307
[groans softly]
69
00:02:57,351 --> 00:02:58,395
Hope?
70
00:03:01,355 --> 00:03:04,271
[upbeat hip-hop music]
71
00:03:05,837 --> 00:03:07,361
Hope?
72
00:03:15,499 --> 00:03:16,805
Hope?
73
00:03:16,848 --> 00:03:18,894
So I said,
"No, it is six inches."
74
00:03:18,937 --> 00:03:20,374
You just have to measure it
diagonally.
75
00:03:20,417 --> 00:03:22,245
[laughs]
76
00:03:22,289 --> 00:03:24,247
Wow, this isa really nice place.
77
00:03:24,291 --> 00:03:25,379
Oh, thanks.
78
00:03:25,422 --> 00:03:27,511
Yeah, I share it with
my roommate, my buddy Dan.
79
00:03:27,555 --> 00:03:28,947
And where is Dan tonight?
80
00:03:28,991 --> 00:03:30,645
Uh, well, it's Wednesday,
81
00:03:30,688 --> 00:03:34,953
so he is probably somewhere
in Canarsie chasing GILFs.
82
00:03:34,997 --> 00:03:35,954
-Um...
-Oh.
83
00:03:35,998 --> 00:03:38,479
Can I get yousomething to drink?
84
00:03:38,522 --> 00:03:40,176
Like, maybe a nice pilsner.
85
00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:41,917
-Yeah, sounds good to me.
-Great.
86
00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:44,354
Here.Um, two pilsners coming up.
87
00:03:45,355 --> 00:03:47,314
[vocalizing]
88
00:03:47,357 --> 00:03:49,446
[chuckles] Sorry.Okay.
89
00:03:49,490 --> 00:03:50,882
Here they are.
90
00:03:52,319 --> 00:03:53,624
-Wham.
-Mmm.
91
00:03:53,668 --> 00:03:55,409
-Wham.
-[chuckles]
92
00:03:55,452 --> 00:03:56,497
-Here you are.
-Thank you.
93
00:03:56,540 --> 00:03:57,715
Of course.You're welcome.
94
00:03:57,759 --> 00:03:59,282
To Tori Amos.
95
00:03:59,326 --> 00:04:01,284
-To Tori Amos.
-[laughs]
96
00:04:01,328 --> 00:04:04,374
[siren wailing distantly]
97
00:04:06,463 --> 00:04:07,682
Um...
98
00:04:07,725 --> 00:04:09,684
I don't usually do this.
99
00:04:10,598 --> 00:04:13,209
Aw, no.Are you an IPA girl?
100
00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:15,080
-Come on.
-Ha-ha.
101
00:04:15,124 --> 00:04:16,299
No, no.
102
00:04:16,343 --> 00:04:19,302
I mean I don't usually
go on--you know,
103
00:04:19,346 --> 00:04:20,999
go home with a guy
on the first date.
104
00:04:21,043 --> 00:04:22,349
Well, neither do I.
105
00:04:24,481 --> 00:04:27,310
Um...girls, I mean.But, you know.
106
00:04:27,354 --> 00:04:28,746
-[chuckles] Yeah.
-Yeah.
107
00:04:28,790 --> 00:04:30,879
Party Time.
I wanna meet him.
108
00:04:30,922 --> 00:04:32,359
Party Time!
109
00:04:32,402 --> 00:04:34,317
-Party Time.
-All right.
110
00:04:34,361 --> 00:04:35,318
Party Time.
111
00:04:35,362 --> 00:04:37,233
-Party Time.
-Party Time.
112
00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:38,321
[gasps]
113
00:04:38,365 --> 00:04:39,757
Come here!
114
00:04:39,801 --> 00:04:41,933
Hey, yeah, you found him.
115
00:04:41,977 --> 00:04:43,892
-Hey, buddy.
-[growls playfully]
116
00:04:43,935 --> 00:04:45,894
-He's so cute.
-Yeah.
117
00:04:45,937 --> 00:04:47,678
Oh, my God, he's so cute.
118
00:04:47,722 --> 00:04:48,679
Oh, my God, wow.
119
00:04:48,723 --> 00:04:50,333
You really area dog person, huh?
120
00:04:50,377 --> 00:04:52,466
Oh, my God!
121
00:04:52,509 --> 00:04:55,556
[funky hip-hop music]
122
00:04:55,599 --> 00:04:56,905
JARINA: ♪ Bye
123
00:04:56,948 --> 00:05:01,039
There was a period in my life,
uh, where I did so much acid,
124
00:05:01,083 --> 00:05:02,519
I got down on my knees
one night,
125
00:05:02,563 --> 00:05:05,348
and I-I prayed to the dude
from the Ernestmovies.
126
00:05:05,392 --> 00:05:08,220
I--like, I can't reconcile
that that was me.
127
00:05:08,264 --> 00:05:11,485
What accountants can say
that they prayed to--to--to--
128
00:05:11,528 --> 00:05:12,790
to Jim Varney?
129
00:05:12,834 --> 00:05:14,618
I mean, other than Barry,
the guy I work with.
130
00:05:14,662 --> 00:05:15,619
That's why we connect.
131
00:05:15,663 --> 00:05:19,406
PEOPLE [whispering]:
Tree secrets.
132
00:05:19,449 --> 00:05:22,234
[mellow hip-hop music]
133
00:05:25,412 --> 00:05:28,371
[mellow music]
134
00:05:28,415 --> 00:05:29,285
♪
135
00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:32,593
[balloons squeaking]
136
00:05:32,636 --> 00:05:34,377
ANNOUNCER [over TV]:
Yeah, 35.
137
00:05:34,421 --> 00:05:35,422
[gasps]
138
00:05:35,465 --> 00:05:38,599
ANNOUNCER:
45, yeah, 50!
139
00:05:38,642 --> 00:05:41,123
Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo.
140
00:05:42,516 --> 00:05:43,604
JARINA: ♪ Bum-bum-bum-bum,
bum-bum-bum-bum-bum ♪
141
00:05:43,647 --> 00:05:45,649
♪ Bum-bum-bum, bum-bum-bum,
bum-bum, bum-bum-bum ♪
142
00:05:45,693 --> 00:05:47,477
[crickets chirping]
143
00:05:48,609 --> 00:05:50,959
[romantic music playing]
144
00:05:51,002 --> 00:05:52,047
He is a rescue, right?
145
00:05:52,090 --> 00:05:54,179
Oh, my God.Who do you think I am?
146
00:05:54,223 --> 00:05:55,529
-[laughs]
-Pardon me.
147
00:05:55,572 --> 00:05:56,617
How old is he?
148
00:05:56,660 --> 00:05:59,446
Um...
149
00:05:59,489 --> 00:06:01,404
huh.
150
00:06:01,448 --> 00:06:03,101
You know, I don't know.
I don't know.
151
00:06:03,145 --> 00:06:05,452
I never, um...
That's weird.
152
00:06:05,495 --> 00:06:07,802
I guess I never asked
when I got him.
153
00:06:07,845 --> 00:06:09,412
How long have you had him?
154
00:06:09,456 --> 00:06:11,893
How long have I--um...
155
00:06:14,939 --> 00:06:16,506
In human years or dog years?
156
00:06:16,550 --> 00:06:17,594
[laughs]
157
00:06:17,638 --> 00:06:19,988
Oh, God, he's so handsome.
158
00:06:20,031 --> 00:06:21,903
-Yeah.
-Who's a good boy?
159
00:06:21,946 --> 00:06:23,905
-Who's a good boy?
-Uh-huh.
160
00:06:23,948 --> 00:06:25,776
-It's Party Time.
-Hmm.
161
00:06:25,820 --> 00:06:28,431
[grunts]Party Time is such a cute name.
162
00:06:28,475 --> 00:06:29,693
How'd he get that name?
163
00:06:29,737 --> 00:06:31,434
How did he get the name
Party Time?
164
00:06:31,478 --> 00:06:32,827
-Mm-hmm.
-Yeah.
165
00:06:34,045 --> 00:06:36,700
Um...
166
00:06:36,744 --> 00:06:39,224
♪ Party time
167
00:06:39,268 --> 00:06:40,443
I don't know.
168
00:06:40,487 --> 00:06:42,053
It's, uh, you know that song
"Party Time."
169
00:06:42,097 --> 00:06:44,273
You never heard--you nev--uh...
170
00:06:44,316 --> 00:06:45,579
[laughs]
171
00:06:45,622 --> 00:06:48,669
What about, um, the--that,
uh...
172
00:06:48,712 --> 00:06:52,499
uh, I-I just really like
to party.
173
00:06:52,542 --> 00:06:54,675
-[sobs]
-What?
174
00:06:54,718 --> 00:06:57,417
[sobbing]
175
00:06:59,157 --> 00:07:00,681
Hey, are you okay?
176
00:07:00,724 --> 00:07:01,508
What's wrong?
177
00:07:01,551 --> 00:07:02,596
[groans]
178
00:07:02,639 --> 00:07:04,380
Nothing.
179
00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:05,599
Nothing.
No--
180
00:07:05,642 --> 00:07:07,905
[whimpers]
181
00:07:07,949 --> 00:07:10,255
[sobbing]
182
00:07:10,299 --> 00:07:11,866
I'm sorry.
It's just--it's...
183
00:07:11,909 --> 00:07:14,869
[grunting]
184
00:07:14,912 --> 00:07:16,261
It's all a lie.
185
00:07:16,305 --> 00:07:19,917
Uh, sorry, it's just,
it's all a big fat lie.
186
00:07:19,961 --> 00:07:22,964
Wait, what's the lie, Jerome?
187
00:07:23,007 --> 00:07:24,052
All of it.
188
00:07:24,095 --> 00:07:25,183
[sobs]
189
00:07:25,227 --> 00:07:27,272
Okay, calm down.
190
00:07:27,316 --> 00:07:28,535
-Take a deep breath.
-Yep, yeah.
191
00:07:28,578 --> 00:07:30,972
[hyperventilating]
192
00:07:31,015 --> 00:07:33,278
[sobs, coughs]
193
00:07:33,322 --> 00:07:35,672
Well...
194
00:07:35,716 --> 00:07:37,282
it's a long story.
195
00:07:37,326 --> 00:07:38,893
You know, it's a long story.
196
00:07:38,936 --> 00:07:41,112
[stammering]
And I--don't--I totally get it
197
00:07:41,156 --> 00:07:42,287
if you just wanna...
198
00:07:42,331 --> 00:07:43,637
-Hey.
-If you just wanna go.
199
00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:45,073
No, I don't.
200
00:07:45,116 --> 00:07:47,728
What I want is to hearthe story.
201
00:07:47,771 --> 00:07:49,730
[sniffles]
202
00:07:49,773 --> 00:07:51,514
Well it's--well,
it's all Dan's fault.
203
00:07:51,558 --> 00:07:52,472
Um...
204
00:07:53,777 --> 00:07:55,866
Man, this is incredible.
205
00:07:55,910 --> 00:07:57,955
You're gonna be swimmingin hee-haw.
206
00:07:57,999 --> 00:07:59,740
Yeah, and she said
if my romantic future
207
00:07:59,783 --> 00:08:03,526
doesn't improve significantly,
I get my money back, dude.
208
00:08:03,570 --> 00:08:04,440
Well, damn, son,
209
00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:05,746
that's a great dealright there.
210
00:08:05,789 --> 00:08:06,660
-Yeah.
-Must have taken them forever
211
00:08:06,703 --> 00:08:07,878
to get all this data.
212
00:08:07,922 --> 00:08:09,097
No.
No, dude.
213
00:08:09,140 --> 00:08:10,533
I was only in there
for about an hour.
214
00:08:10,577 --> 00:08:13,536
I just don't understandhow she got this level of...
215
00:08:13,580 --> 00:08:15,799
Holy ca-moly, is this she?
216
00:08:15,843 --> 00:08:17,584
Oh, yeah, yeah.
That is she.
217
00:08:17,627 --> 00:08:18,628
Come on--wait a minute.
218
00:08:18,672 --> 00:08:21,675
You're saying you werein the same room
219
00:08:21,718 --> 00:08:22,545
as this smoke show?
220
00:08:22,589 --> 00:08:24,242
Uh-huh.
221
00:08:24,286 --> 00:08:26,767
And as soon as I walked in,
I could tell she knew her shit.
222
00:08:27,768 --> 00:08:29,639
[grunts]Oh.
223
00:08:29,683 --> 00:08:30,684
[moaning]
224
00:08:30,727 --> 00:08:34,165
[harp glissando]
225
00:08:34,209 --> 00:08:37,299
So...why online dating?
226
00:08:37,734 --> 00:08:39,562
Why?
227
00:08:40,955 --> 00:08:43,479
Uh, well, um, you know,
228
00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:45,133
I always thought I'd meet
the one in person.
229
00:08:45,176 --> 00:08:46,221
-Uh-huh.
-Like in the movies.
230
00:08:46,264 --> 00:08:47,614
Right.
231
00:08:47,657 --> 00:08:49,659
And don't get me wrong,I've met a lot of cool people,
232
00:08:49,703 --> 00:08:52,444
but the second they learnwho I really am...
233
00:08:52,488 --> 00:08:55,186
They are out the door.
234
00:08:55,230 --> 00:08:56,623
Bye-bye.
235
00:08:57,275 --> 00:08:58,712
Yeah, exactly.
236
00:08:58,755 --> 00:09:00,452
Um, so I don't know.
237
00:09:00,496 --> 00:09:03,368
I just figured--I just figuredit was time to make a change.
238
00:09:03,412 --> 00:09:04,935
-So why not?
-Why not?
239
00:09:04,979 --> 00:09:06,807
JEROME: And, you know,everyone else is doing it.
240
00:09:06,850 --> 00:09:08,809
It's the modern world.
241
00:09:08,852 --> 00:09:11,594
So I visited a siteand set up a profile.
242
00:09:11,638 --> 00:09:12,856
NICOLE: Wow.
243
00:09:12,900 --> 00:09:14,466
-JEROME: And I waited.
-NICOLE: Uh-huh.
244
00:09:14,510 --> 00:09:15,859
[phone blips]
245
00:09:15,903 --> 00:09:17,818
-JEROME: And waited.
-NICOLE: Oh.
246
00:09:17,861 --> 00:09:19,428
[funky music]
247
00:09:19,471 --> 00:09:22,736
-JEROME: And waited.
-NICOLE: Ah.
248
00:09:22,779 --> 00:09:23,737
[phone blips]
249
00:09:23,780 --> 00:09:27,610
♪
250
00:09:27,654 --> 00:09:28,872
NICOLE: Wow.
251
00:09:28,916 --> 00:09:33,747
48 introductions to women,
two broken phones...
252
00:09:33,790 --> 00:09:36,837
one damaged ego, and...
253
00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:38,099
no results.
254
00:09:39,361 --> 00:09:40,884
That's why I'm here.
255
00:09:40,928 --> 00:09:44,409
Well, J, it sounds like
we got a lot of work to do.
256
00:09:44,453 --> 00:09:48,849
Jerome, let's get you Updated.
257
00:09:48,892 --> 00:09:51,634
[phone blipping]
258
00:09:54,245 --> 00:09:55,812
[phone chimes]
259
00:09:56,900 --> 00:09:58,859
[phone blips]
260
00:09:58,902 --> 00:10:00,251
[phone boops]
261
00:10:00,295 --> 00:10:03,733
[clock ticking]
262
00:10:08,564 --> 00:10:09,652
[bird coos]
263
00:10:09,696 --> 00:10:11,001
[slurps]
264
00:10:11,045 --> 00:10:14,048
[both moaning]
265
00:10:14,091 --> 00:10:15,832
Hmm? Hey!
266
00:10:20,271 --> 00:10:21,882
[jingle plays on TV]
267
00:10:21,925 --> 00:10:24,101
This morning, we learned
that the only lady politician
268
00:10:24,145 --> 00:10:25,886
was hit by a train.
269
00:10:25,929 --> 00:10:28,236
The prime minister learned
of the news on live telecast.
270
00:10:28,279 --> 00:10:30,455
Later, when asked to clarify
his response,
271
00:10:30,499 --> 00:10:32,936
he told reporters,
"I did not chuckle.
272
00:10:32,980 --> 00:10:35,243
I was choking on a pecan."
273
00:10:35,286 --> 00:10:37,898
MALE NARRATOR:
Tyrannosaurus rex,
274
00:10:37,941 --> 00:10:40,030
best known
for his fearsome jaws
275
00:10:40,074 --> 00:10:42,772
and appearances
on the silver screen,
276
00:10:42,816 --> 00:10:45,514
may have had a gentle side
too.
277
00:10:45,557 --> 00:10:49,474
The formidable predator may,
counter to popular belief,
278
00:10:49,518 --> 00:10:51,912
in fact
have been a tender lover,
279
00:10:51,955 --> 00:10:54,131
using his
extra-sensitive snout
280
00:10:54,175 --> 00:10:56,133
to kiss his partner
281
00:10:56,177 --> 00:10:59,136
and his seemingly useless
little arms
282
00:10:59,180 --> 00:11:01,138
to tickle and caress her
283
00:11:01,182 --> 00:11:03,967
in tender,
precopulatory play.
284
00:11:04,011 --> 00:11:05,403
[exhales]
285
00:11:05,447 --> 00:11:07,318
NARRATOR: Archaeologists
all around the world
286
00:11:07,362 --> 00:11:10,974
stumble upon skeletons
of these terrible lizards,
287
00:11:11,018 --> 00:11:13,629
revealing heated
sexual positions
288
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:16,719
of passionate
prehistoric lovemaking.
289
00:11:16,763 --> 00:11:19,766
Looking at some
of those fossils may suggest
290
00:11:19,809 --> 00:11:22,377
these extraordinary creatures
291
00:11:22,420 --> 00:11:24,988
knew about the deadly asteroid
292
00:11:25,032 --> 00:11:27,512
that was on a collision course
with the Earth
293
00:11:27,556 --> 00:11:30,080
and used their last moments
294
00:11:30,124 --> 00:11:33,867
for some sweet, sweet
sexual intercourse.
295
00:11:33,910 --> 00:11:35,303
[ribbits]
296
00:11:35,346 --> 00:11:36,913
For millions of years,
297
00:11:36,957 --> 00:11:39,960
these giants
dominated the seas,
298
00:11:40,003 --> 00:11:43,093
swayed the skies,
and ruled the lands.
299
00:11:43,137 --> 00:11:45,966
Females were ravenous
predators,
300
00:11:46,009 --> 00:11:47,881
fueled by their powerful
instincts
301
00:11:47,924 --> 00:11:50,318
to hunt and reproduce.
302
00:11:50,361 --> 00:11:54,104
Those girls got
what they wanted.
303
00:11:54,148 --> 00:11:58,543
These astounding beasts
came in all shapes and sizes.
304
00:11:58,587 --> 00:12:01,416
They proudly presented
their sensual bodies,
305
00:12:01,459 --> 00:12:05,942
covered in scales and feathers
like expensive jewelry.
306
00:12:05,986 --> 00:12:10,817
Life on the harsh landscapes
of the Mesozoic era was tough,
307
00:12:10,860 --> 00:12:12,993
but guess what.
308
00:12:13,036 --> 00:12:15,647
So were these women.
309
00:12:15,691 --> 00:12:18,781
The fire in their eyes
wasn't just a reflection
310
00:12:18,825 --> 00:12:21,436
of the blazing rock
that lit up the night sky
311
00:12:21,479 --> 00:12:22,872
before hitting the planet
312
00:12:22,916 --> 00:12:26,049
and wiping out all of them
at once.
313
00:12:26,093 --> 00:12:27,790
It was the flaring fire
314
00:12:27,834 --> 00:12:30,837
of their inner powerful
sex appeal
315
00:12:30,880 --> 00:12:33,622
that hypnotized
all who looked
316
00:12:33,665 --> 00:12:36,843
into their seductive
lizard eyes.
317
00:12:36,886 --> 00:12:39,802
[hypnotic music]
318
00:12:39,846 --> 00:12:44,459
♪
319
00:12:44,502 --> 00:12:47,462
[ominous music]
320
00:12:47,505 --> 00:12:50,160
♪
321
00:12:50,204 --> 00:12:52,859
[roars]
322
00:12:56,036 --> 00:12:59,082
[panting]
323
00:13:01,693 --> 00:13:04,044
Sharon,
will you accept this rose?
324
00:13:04,087 --> 00:13:07,221
Oh, my God, yes.
Yes.
325
00:13:07,264 --> 00:13:09,919
Absolutely.
[laughs]
326
00:13:09,963 --> 00:13:11,007
[growls]
327
00:13:14,924 --> 00:13:16,056
[phone blips]
328
00:13:16,099 --> 00:13:17,884
[growls]
329
00:13:17,927 --> 00:13:19,581
[roars]
330
00:13:21,975 --> 00:13:23,193
[whimpers]
331
00:13:23,237 --> 00:13:24,629
-[smooches]
-Oh.
332
00:13:24,673 --> 00:13:26,936
Hmm.
333
00:13:26,980 --> 00:13:29,634
[roars]
334
00:13:29,678 --> 00:13:32,724
[stomping]
335
00:13:34,161 --> 00:13:35,553
[metallic crash]
336
00:13:35,597 --> 00:13:37,991
[stomping fades]
337
00:13:38,034 --> 00:13:39,993
[tires screeching]
338
00:13:40,036 --> 00:13:40,994
[vehicle crashes,
glass shatters]
339
00:13:41,037 --> 00:13:44,127
-[people screaming]
-[roaring]
340
00:13:44,171 --> 00:13:45,650
[glass shatters]
341
00:13:45,694 --> 00:13:47,043
[explosion booms]
342
00:13:47,087 --> 00:13:49,872
FROG: These hunters
are capable of migrating
343
00:13:49,916 --> 00:13:53,920
hundreds of miles
to harvest the right specimen
344
00:13:53,963 --> 00:13:57,488
to fulfill
their sexual desires.
345
00:13:57,532 --> 00:14:00,752
Their highly sensitive smell
and hearing serves
346
00:14:00,796 --> 00:14:03,930
as some sort
of biological compass,
347
00:14:03,973 --> 00:14:07,455
directing them
to the perfect mate.
348
00:14:07,498 --> 00:14:11,894
When stalking,
females keep below the skyline,
349
00:14:11,938 --> 00:14:15,245
running through
silky, warm summer nights,
350
00:14:15,289 --> 00:14:20,337
searching for the heavy scent
of testosterone in the air.
351
00:14:20,381 --> 00:14:23,906
Inevitably,
there will be a chase,
352
00:14:23,950 --> 00:14:26,996
and pleasure will follow.
353
00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:29,303
[mellow hip-hop music]
354
00:14:32,349 --> 00:14:35,787
[mellow music]
355
00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:40,923
WOMAN: Breathe in.
356
00:14:40,967 --> 00:14:43,404
[inhales]
357
00:14:43,447 --> 00:14:44,971
Breathe out.
358
00:14:45,014 --> 00:14:46,624
[exhales]
359
00:14:48,844 --> 00:14:51,107
Focus on the breath
and nothing else.
360
00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:54,676
Mind clear, all here.
361
00:14:55,416 --> 00:14:57,418
Center myself.
362
00:14:57,461 --> 00:15:00,073
Imagine myself
in a blank, white room.
363
00:15:00,116 --> 00:15:01,074
[whispering]
No.
364
00:15:01,117 --> 00:15:02,075
A field in bloom.
365
00:15:02,118 --> 00:15:03,076
[whispering] No.
[gasps]
366
00:15:03,119 --> 00:15:04,381
The beach with the sea
and shells.
367
00:15:04,425 --> 00:15:05,556
Yeah.
368
00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:06,644
[birds squawking]
369
00:15:06,688 --> 00:15:09,082
Unplug from the physical self.
370
00:15:09,125 --> 00:15:10,170
Unplug from--
371
00:15:10,213 --> 00:15:11,214
Wait.
372
00:15:11,258 --> 00:15:13,216
Did I unplug my straightener?
373
00:15:13,260 --> 00:15:15,088
Oh, God.
374
00:15:15,131 --> 00:15:17,960
No, I did, 'cause when I left,
I took a step.
375
00:15:18,004 --> 00:15:19,179
Then I walked back in.
376
00:15:19,222 --> 00:15:20,528
I took a look in the kitchen
with the suspicion
377
00:15:20,571 --> 00:15:21,746
that I left the oven on,
but I didn't.
378
00:15:21,790 --> 00:15:23,009
Then I was like, "I'm here.
379
00:15:23,052 --> 00:15:24,140
I might as well pee
for a minute."
380
00:15:24,184 --> 00:15:25,098
And I vividly recall
the plug in the wall
381
00:15:25,141 --> 00:15:25,968
had nothing in it.
382
00:15:26,012 --> 00:15:27,187
[gasps]
383
00:15:27,230 --> 00:15:28,971
Okay, yeah,
it had nothing in it.
384
00:15:29,015 --> 00:15:31,321
Man, I gotta be more conscious
of that stuff.
385
00:15:31,365 --> 00:15:34,324
My shit could burn down.
Then I'm fucked.
386
00:15:34,368 --> 00:15:36,326
Itch on my nose.
Nope.
387
00:15:36,370 --> 00:15:38,763
Let it pass.
388
00:15:38,807 --> 00:15:40,852
WOMAN:
Hey, sweetie, it's Mom.
389
00:15:40,896 --> 00:15:42,332
Just wanting to say hello.
390
00:15:42,376 --> 00:15:43,899
Shit.
391
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:45,814
Forgot to call my mom back.
392
00:15:47,163 --> 00:15:49,209
[breathes deeply]
393
00:15:49,252 --> 00:15:50,558
But what did she mean
when she said the other day
394
00:15:50,601 --> 00:15:52,864
that at my age, she was married
with a kid on the way?
395
00:15:52,908 --> 00:15:54,431
Oh, thanks, Mom,
that helps me a lot.
396
00:15:54,475 --> 00:15:56,216
Here's a thought.
How 'bout I stop?
397
00:15:56,259 --> 00:15:57,478
Lock a man down,
set a plan down,
398
00:15:57,521 --> 00:15:58,566
and pop out a tot.
399
00:15:58,609 --> 00:15:59,915
It's like I'm caught
in a spot
400
00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:01,047
where I'm working on the grind,
the nine-to-nine,
401
00:16:01,090 --> 00:16:03,005
climbing to find
and then redefining my reason
402
00:16:03,049 --> 00:16:04,050
for being alive.
403
00:16:04,093 --> 00:16:05,138
Jesus.
404
00:16:05,181 --> 00:16:06,574
Realize that this time
of my life is hard on me,
405
00:16:06,617 --> 00:16:09,098
so pardon me for disregarding
the timing of my ovaries
406
00:16:09,142 --> 00:16:11,231
when I can barely figure out
a time to get my groceries.
407
00:16:11,274 --> 00:16:13,146
WOMAN:
Hey, sweetie.
408
00:16:13,189 --> 00:16:14,974
Breathe.
409
00:16:15,757 --> 00:16:16,932
Oh, I gotta get groceries.
410
00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:18,020
[cash register beeping]
411
00:16:18,064 --> 00:16:21,893
I might have a yogurt
in the fridge.
412
00:16:21,937 --> 00:16:23,025
Itch--God damn it,
413
00:16:23,069 --> 00:16:24,244
this itch on my nose
won't stop.
414
00:16:24,287 --> 00:16:25,375
Nope.
Breathe through it.
415
00:16:25,419 --> 00:16:27,160
If I go to scratch it,
I'll blow it. I'll ruin it.
416
00:16:27,203 --> 00:16:28,683
It's just a fixation,
my imagination.
417
00:16:28,726 --> 00:16:29,814
I gotta just wait
and be patient
418
00:16:29,858 --> 00:16:31,251
and then the sensation
will pass.
419
00:16:31,294 --> 00:16:32,034
Yes.
420
00:16:32,078 --> 00:16:33,383
See?
421
00:16:33,427 --> 00:16:34,906
That wasn't so--nope.
That's a bug.
422
00:16:34,950 --> 00:16:36,082
That's a bug on my nose.
423
00:16:36,125 --> 00:16:37,170
[sniffles]
424
00:16:37,213 --> 00:16:39,824
[exhales]
Okay.
425
00:16:39,868 --> 00:16:40,912
Okay, there was no bug.
426
00:16:40,956 --> 00:16:43,089
Damn it.
I'm so off track.
427
00:16:43,132 --> 00:16:44,177
I gotta relax.
428
00:16:44,220 --> 00:16:45,830
I gotta get back
to the blank, white room.
429
00:16:45,874 --> 00:16:47,093
No, the field in bloom.
430
00:16:47,136 --> 00:16:48,311
No, forget it.
Just cut to black.
431
00:16:48,355 --> 00:16:50,183
I could use a snack.
No.
432
00:16:50,226 --> 00:16:51,227
Think of nothing.
Think of nothing.
433
00:16:51,271 --> 00:16:52,620
Breathe.
Think of nothing.
434
00:16:52,663 --> 00:16:54,274
I've accomplished nothing.
Stop it!
435
00:16:54,317 --> 00:16:55,405
Think of nothing.
Think of nothing.
436
00:16:55,449 --> 00:16:56,667
Breathe.
Think of nothing.
437
00:16:56,711 --> 00:16:58,191
Smells like maple syrup.
Shut the fuck up!
438
00:16:58,234 --> 00:16:59,627
I think I have to pee.
439
00:16:59,670 --> 00:17:00,932
I'll amount to nothing.
Who am I becoming?
440
00:17:00,976 --> 00:17:01,629
Think of nothing.
Think of nothing.
441
00:17:01,672 --> 00:17:02,717
Think of nothing.
442
00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:05,154
[bright marimba ringtone
playing]
443
00:17:05,198 --> 00:17:06,677
Seriously?
444
00:17:06,721 --> 00:17:08,723
[ringtone continues]
445
00:17:08,766 --> 00:17:15,686
♪
446
00:17:16,557 --> 00:17:20,169
Oh, my God.
I'm here.
447
00:17:20,213 --> 00:17:22,563
♪
448
00:17:22,606 --> 00:17:24,086
I did it.
449
00:17:24,130 --> 00:17:25,479
♪
450
00:17:25,522 --> 00:17:27,698
WOMAN: And we're wiggling
the fingers.
451
00:17:27,742 --> 00:17:29,091
-Fuck!
-[ringtone continues]
452
00:17:29,135 --> 00:17:30,092
WOMAN:
Wiggling the toes.
453
00:17:30,136 --> 00:17:32,007
Fuck.
454
00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:34,357
Gently coming back
into our bodies.
455
00:17:34,401 --> 00:17:36,533
God damn it,
I was fucking there.
456
00:17:36,577 --> 00:17:37,926
Fuck.
457
00:17:37,969 --> 00:17:40,102
WOMAN:
The suggested donation is $16.
458
00:17:40,146 --> 00:17:41,756
I don't have my Square
with me today,
459
00:17:41,799 --> 00:17:43,366
but I definitely take Venmo.
460
00:17:43,410 --> 00:17:46,021
Uh, be sure to drinka lot of water
461
00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:48,241
and take all of your belongingson the way out.
462
00:17:48,284 --> 00:17:50,460
Thank you so much.Namaste.
463
00:17:50,504 --> 00:17:53,115
[bright marimba music
continues]
464
00:17:53,159 --> 00:17:56,075
[upbeat electronic music]
465
00:17:57,641 --> 00:18:01,341
[beeping]
466
00:18:01,384 --> 00:18:02,342
SINGER: ♪ Yeah
467
00:18:02,385 --> 00:18:05,345
[bass music thumping]
468
00:18:05,388 --> 00:18:12,352
♪
469
00:18:12,395 --> 00:18:13,353
-[gasps]
-SINGER: ♪ Yeah
470
00:18:13,396 --> 00:18:16,356
[thudding, squeaking]
471
00:18:16,399 --> 00:18:20,360
♪
472
00:18:20,403 --> 00:18:22,623
[thudding]
473
00:18:22,666 --> 00:18:24,407
[glass shatters]
474
00:18:24,451 --> 00:18:25,930
[crash]
475
00:18:25,974 --> 00:18:30,631
[whooshing]
476
00:18:30,674 --> 00:18:33,764
-[explosion booms]
-[dramatic music]
477
00:18:35,549 --> 00:18:36,550
[Jarina De Marco's
"Identity Crisis"]
478
00:18:36,593 --> 00:18:37,942
JARINA: ♪ Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi
479
00:18:37,986 --> 00:18:39,988
♪ Identity crisis
480
00:18:40,031 --> 00:18:43,992
So you're saying thatyou doctored all your photos?
481
00:18:44,035 --> 00:18:46,516
Okay, like I said, uh,
it was Dan's idea to--
482
00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:48,866
But Party Time is real.He's right here.
483
00:18:48,910 --> 00:18:50,955
Okay, so that's the thing.
484
00:18:50,999 --> 00:18:54,350
Um, so, like--okay,
so we matched,
485
00:18:54,394 --> 00:18:57,397
and you were just so cool
486
00:18:57,440 --> 00:18:59,399
and pretty and funny.
487
00:18:59,442 --> 00:19:01,052
[laughs]
488
00:19:01,096 --> 00:19:02,967
And you said you liked my dog,
489
00:19:03,011 --> 00:19:05,361
but, um...
490
00:19:05,405 --> 00:19:06,580
well, he's not my dog.
491
00:19:06,623 --> 00:19:09,235
He belongs to my friend
Mrs. Beckett.
492
00:19:09,278 --> 00:19:10,801
I just borrowed him
for the night.
493
00:19:10,845 --> 00:19:14,240
[siren wailing distantly]
494
00:19:14,283 --> 00:19:18,679
So you did all thisto, what, impress me?
495
00:19:18,722 --> 00:19:20,115
I guess so.
496
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:23,814
Yeah, so, um...
497
00:19:23,858 --> 00:19:26,252
so I guess you think
I'm a total phony.
498
00:19:28,471 --> 00:19:30,473
I don't know.I don't know.
499
00:19:30,517 --> 00:19:31,822
Let's see.
500
00:19:32,910 --> 00:19:34,347
Earlier tonightwhen you told me this was
501
00:19:34,390 --> 00:19:36,479
your first online date,was that phony?
502
00:19:36,523 --> 00:19:38,481
No, no, no.
503
00:19:38,525 --> 00:19:40,353
And when you saidthat you were an app developer?
504
00:19:40,396 --> 00:19:42,311
No, that's real.
That's real.
505
00:19:42,355 --> 00:19:43,660
And when you saidthat you founded
506
00:19:43,704 --> 00:19:47,447
the East Williamsburg chapterof the Tori Amos fan club?
507
00:19:47,490 --> 00:19:49,840
Actually,
we're up to 437 members.
508
00:19:49,884 --> 00:19:51,364
[laughs]
509
00:19:51,407 --> 00:19:52,365
See?
510
00:19:52,408 --> 00:19:54,410
All in all, I think you've beenrelatively truthful.
511
00:19:55,498 --> 00:19:56,804
So you're not mad at me?
512
00:19:56,847 --> 00:19:59,372
Mad at you?For coming clean?
513
00:19:59,415 --> 00:20:01,025
Hell no.
514
00:20:01,069 --> 00:20:03,376
It's refreshing.
515
00:20:03,419 --> 00:20:06,292
Okay, do you wanna know
what else is real?
516
00:20:06,335 --> 00:20:07,945
Tell me.
517
00:20:07,989 --> 00:20:09,382
When I was a kid,
I had to wear
518
00:20:09,425 --> 00:20:10,905
my extra-large Titanic
T-shirt
519
00:20:10,948 --> 00:20:11,906
before I went to bed.
520
00:20:11,949 --> 00:20:13,516
What about you?
521
00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:15,170
Mm...me.
522
00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:17,694
Um, I'm terrified of ladders.
523
00:20:17,738 --> 00:20:18,913
Not climbing them
524
00:20:18,956 --> 00:20:21,263
but the actual objectsthemselves.
525
00:20:21,307 --> 00:20:23,744
I've read over 135
self-help books.
526
00:20:23,787 --> 00:20:25,528
I like to daydreamabout my own death
527
00:20:25,572 --> 00:20:27,922
just to imagine what peoplewould say about me.
528
00:20:27,965 --> 00:20:29,619
I can't read clocks.
529
00:20:29,663 --> 00:20:32,274
God, it feels so great
to be honest.
530
00:20:32,318 --> 00:20:33,884
Keep going.Tell me more.
531
00:20:33,928 --> 00:20:35,712
-Um, well...
-Keep going.
532
00:20:35,756 --> 00:20:39,281
JEROME: When I was five,
I ate, like, bugs and worms.
533
00:20:39,325 --> 00:20:40,543
[peaceful music]
534
00:20:40,587 --> 00:20:45,287
Once, I threw
a going-away party.
535
00:20:45,331 --> 00:20:47,550
♪
536
00:20:47,594 --> 00:20:50,423
I never even left town.
537
00:20:50,466 --> 00:20:52,642
I just wanted new friends.
538
00:20:52,686 --> 00:20:55,776
Hmm.
539
00:20:55,819 --> 00:20:58,866
I'm addicted to Skittles.
540
00:20:58,909 --> 00:21:01,956
♪
541
00:21:01,999 --> 00:21:04,088
When I really
want something...
542
00:21:04,132 --> 00:21:07,440
♪
543
00:21:07,483 --> 00:21:09,572
I steal it.
544
00:21:09,616 --> 00:21:16,623
♪
545
00:21:17,841 --> 00:21:19,321
JEROME:
Hope?
546
00:21:19,365 --> 00:21:22,324
[birds chirping]
547
00:21:22,368 --> 00:21:24,065
Party Time?
548
00:21:26,023 --> 00:21:27,503
Party Time?
549
00:21:28,635 --> 00:21:30,376
Party Time!
550
00:21:32,595 --> 00:21:34,554
Party Time!
551
00:21:34,597 --> 00:21:37,557
[Natalie Prass' "It Is You"]
552
00:21:37,600 --> 00:21:38,906
♪
553
00:21:38,949 --> 00:21:40,342
Party Time!
554
00:21:40,386 --> 00:21:43,606
NATALIE: ♪ There are trees,
there are clouds ♪
555
00:21:43,650 --> 00:21:46,914
♪ Many shadows and crowds
556
00:21:46,957 --> 00:21:50,178
♪ There are dreams,
there are doubts ♪
557
00:21:50,221 --> 00:21:53,616
♪ There are whispers
and shouts ♪
558
00:21:53,660 --> 00:21:54,400
♪ And the snow
559
00:21:54,443 --> 00:21:56,750
HOPE:
This is where Mommy lives.
560
00:21:56,793 --> 00:22:00,493
Oh, Party Time, meet everyone!
561
00:22:00,536 --> 00:22:04,148
Hi!
This is Rufus.
562
00:22:04,192 --> 00:22:07,369
Come on, guys.
That's String Beans.
563
00:22:07,413 --> 00:22:08,762
We have Lucy...
564
00:22:08,805 --> 00:22:10,633
NATALIE: ♪ I've learned
that there's a key inside ♪
565
00:22:10,677 --> 00:22:14,507
♪ And only one will do
566
00:22:14,550 --> 00:22:17,640
♪ It is you
567
00:22:17,684 --> 00:22:21,078
♪ It is you
568
00:22:21,122 --> 00:22:25,387
♪ It is you
569
00:22:25,431 --> 00:22:28,564
Party Time,
you're gonna love it here.
570
00:22:30,044 --> 00:22:33,090
[mellow hip-hop music]
571
00:22:36,137 --> 00:22:38,531
[mellow music]
572
00:22:39,401 --> 00:22:42,056
[Jarina De Marco's "Face"]
573
00:22:42,099 --> 00:22:45,059
JARINA: [singing in Spanish]
574
00:22:45,102 --> 00:22:49,455
♪
575
00:22:49,498 --> 00:22:51,195
♪ Show me
what you working with ♪
576
00:22:51,239 --> 00:22:52,545
♪ Show me what
you working with ♪
577
00:22:52,588 --> 00:22:55,548
[singing in Spanish]
578
00:22:55,591 --> 00:23:02,598
♪
579
00:23:03,033 --> 00:23:04,644
♪ Show me
what you working with ♪
580
00:23:04,687 --> 00:23:06,036
♪ Show me what
you working with ♪
581
00:23:06,080 --> 00:23:07,821
♪ Gimme that "uh" face
582
00:23:07,864 --> 00:23:09,475
♪ What you working with
583
00:23:09,518 --> 00:23:11,215
♪ Gimme that "uh" face
584
00:23:11,259 --> 00:23:12,913
♪ What you working with
585
00:23:12,956 --> 00:23:14,567
♪ Gimme that "uh" face
586
00:23:14,610 --> 00:23:16,438
♪ What you working with
587
00:23:16,482 --> 00:23:18,092
♪ Gimme that "uh" face
588
00:23:18,135 --> 00:23:19,572
♪ What you working with
589
00:23:19,615 --> 00:23:20,660
♪ Gimme that
590
00:23:20,703 --> 00:23:23,576
[singing in Spanish]
591
00:23:23,619 --> 00:23:25,534
♪ Show me
what you working with ♪
592
00:23:25,578 --> 00:23:27,406
♪ Show me what
you working with ♪
593
00:23:28,363 --> 00:23:30,409
-[clear music]
-CHORUS: ♪ Yes
38641
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