All language subtitles for Up in Mabel´s romm 1945-Un marido en apuros

Mr. Ainsworth?

Aren't you forgetting something?

Oh, no, I don't think I... Oh, my shoes.

I mean something else.

Oh, but darling, I left you some money.

Money. Something more important than
money.

There is?

You almost left without kissing me
goodbye.

Oh, I'm sorry, honey.

But I didn't kiss you goodbye because I
didn't want to wake you.

Well, you'd have ruined my whole day for
days.

Does kissing me goodbye really mean that
much to you?

It does today.

On Wednesdays?

Oh, Gary, if you still love me, you'd
remember that this is not just another

Wednesday. It isn't?

I've been giving you all kinds of hints.

Don't you know what day this is?

Oh, I'm sorry, sweetheart, but my IQ's
kind of low in the morning.

Well, if you remember during the day,
call me.

Promise? Promise.

Happy birthday, somebody.

Happy birthday, somebody.

Happy birthday, happy birthday,
somebody.

It's not our birthday, Boris. It's our
wedding anniversary.

Now, do you remember?

Oh, darling, forgive me. How could I
have ever forgotten?

Excuse me, will you, Boris? Of course,
help yourself, monsieur.

Pardon me for observing, but neither of
you look old enough to have been married

for 30 years. 30 years? Oh, we've only
been married for 30 days.

Oh.

Hello? Hello?

Gary? Hello? Who is it?

Mabel Essington.

Remember?

Oh, yeah, sure. Hi.

Fine.

If Geraldine's going to be home this
afternoon, I'll drop in.

I want to show her something.

That little souvenir you gave me in
Mexico City.

Oh, have you forgotten?

No.

No. No.

No, I don't think it'd be very good. I
think it'd be much better if you brought

it to the office.

Maybe it would be better if you showed
it to her.

Yes, much better.

All right, I'll pick Arthur up about 6
.30. I'll bring it down then.

Well, that'll be fine then. I'll expect
you at the office at 6 .30.

And be sure and bring the thingamajig
with you. All right, see you then.

See you then.

Who was that?

Oh, that?

One of our designers. A young fellow
that...

Designed our new fighter plane.

He sounded like a woman.

Well, funny thing, he used to design
hats.

What did he want?

Oh, she... Oh, that is, he... He's going
to bring a very important document to

the office.

Seems to me that 6 .30 is a pretty late
hour to be making appointments at the

office. Yes, isn't it? Well, he's kind
of a queer duck.

Your design for converting a bomber into
a fast ship looks good, Gary.

Simple, too, with its wing surface
rotatable about its own axis.

All the pilot has to do after he drops
his eggs is lessen the angle of

incidence.

Less drag, more indicated airspeed.

Ought to save bombers and men. Nice
going, pal.

Gary, what's the matter with you? Mabel.

Mabel? Oh, no, I mean Geraldine. It's
funny how those names sound alike.

Not to me.

Well, they sound like to me. It's an
association of ideas, I guess. It's...

Arthur, I'm so confused. I don't know
what I'm talking about today.

It's our monthiversary.

Yes, yes, I know.

After six calls from your wife in the
last hour, I'm sure it's no secret from

our operators. Oh, well, Geraldine's
very dramatic.

She gets it from her mother. She should
give it back to her.

Well, our anniversary doesn't really
start until the night at seven.

Well, lucky seven.

I hope so.

Relax, Gary.

Marriage is contentment, not a nervous
breakdown.

I have a little faith in yourself.

You're all right if you think you are.

Now, let's get back to the bomber.

Well, Arthur, I don't want you to miss
your train. Don't worry about me.

I want to talk to you about this nose
rip. Oh, look, let's call it a day. I

haven't even decided what system I'm
going to use. I don't know whether I'm

going to use hydraulics, manual, or
electrical.

Suppose we discuss it over the weekend.

Wait a minute. I'll get my hat and coat.
Good. I'll ride down the elevator with

you. Well, I'll just be a minute.

Is the girl safe in here?

Mabel, you're late.

Well, I've been standing outside for ten
minutes waiting for Arthur to leave.

Number, please.

Region 60785.

That's my number. Huh? Oh.

Did you bring it? I always keep my word.
Well, where is it? Give it to me. It's

at the reception desk. Reception? Well,
what'd you leave it there for?

Well, it wasn't my idea. All packages
you bring into this building have to be

examined. Heavens, they're not going to
examine that. I hope not, but we'll know

by the way they look at you on the way
out.

All set, Carrick.

Mabel!

I forgot the phone.

Or did we have a date tonight?

Don't we every night? Yes, darling.

Urgent business takes me to Washington
tonight. I'm an awful heel, but I've got

to leave on the 7 o 'clock train.

Do you mind very much?

Is this a small sample of what I'm going
to get after we're married? Darling,

after we're married, I'll take you to
Washington with me.

It's very romantic.

A girl gets herself all primed for a
steak at 21 and winds up with a can of

beans at home, alone.

I'll spend the rest of my life squaring
myself with you.

Gary, behold the luckiest man on earth.

You and 50 other wolves howling at her
door, and she picks me for her Davy

Crockett. Well, I'm really marrying you
only to spite Gary, you know. Well, he'd

probably marry Geraldine just to spite
you. There's not a spiteful bone in his

body. Which reminds me, we mustn't keep
the bride waiting. No. Would you mind

dropping me off on your way uptown?
Well, I... Aren't you going to take me

the station?

Oh, I hate goodbyes.

Well, then we won't say.

Hello, darling. Hello.

Gary, don't be nervous.

Mabel told me all about you two in
Mexico City.

Come on, Gary.

And often it was all about Mexico City?

Everything.

Everything? Everything except this.

Why did I ever give it to you?

I've often wondered.

Well, I don't know, except while you
were so darn lovely that night in the

cocktail bar... And you were so full of
frozen daiquiris.

Yes, it was a combination of daiquiris,
champagne, and the high altitude.

I... Couldn't breathe in that
atmosphere.

No, you just wanted to pant.

But it was a lovely idea.

Well, it wasn't my idea. Some Mexican
pal of mine said, flowers with her. Give

the beautiful senorita something she can
keep.

Miss Charming inscription.

Close to your heart, never apart.

Gary.

Say, why don't you just throw it out the
window and let's forget the whole

thing.

Has Geraldine ever hinted that she
suspected us?

Well, she did say something to me about
me meeting you in Mexico City, but...

Well, I just told her it was casual.

That mother of hers has been spreading
rumors of an affair d 'amour.

Well, that's ridiculous.

There was absolutely nothing to it.

I'm sure Geraldine will think there's
nothing to it when she sees this.

Maybe your mother ought to see it, too.
No, no, no, not that.

You want her to think you're a Don Juan
or a little boy that carves hearts on

trees and sends Lacey valentines?

In other words, a sap.

But a very sweet one.

Oh, thanks, Mabel.

Gee, you're a regular.

You should remember this perfume, too.
It came with the lovely unmentionables.

And the bad poetry.

Quite a decoy, isn't it?

Hey, don't do that.

Why were you so nervous when I
telephoned your apartment this morning?

was listening.

Mabel, you know, I think she's jealous
of you.

All wives are. It's the compliment they
pay a young widow.

Holy smoke, I'm supposed to be home in
five minutes.

Lady?

Lady, will you please drive a little
faster?

Thank you.

Hey, what's that?

Probably Geraldine sending out a
searching party.

Lady, please keep going. It's only a few
more blocks.

It's a blackout, sir.

Oh.

Blackouts? I thought we were through
with them. Probably a rehearsal. Good

morale. Oh, I know, but I gotta get home
to Geraldine. I'll walk the rest of the

way. All right, I'll walk with you.

Sorry, mister.

But you have to stay where you are. But
I don't want to stay where I am. My

wife's at home, alone, waiting for me.
It's my anniversary.

Congratulations. Thank you. But you
should have thought of that before you

her alone.

Hello, Mother.

Oh, you thought it was Gary.

Isn't he home yet? Well, no, he must
have been caught in the blackout.

What your father would have given for an
alibi like that?

Oh, my poor baby, why did I ever let you
marry that nitwit? But I love him.

Love? There's no such thing. Oh, how can
you say that? My father didn't stay out

one night in 20 years.

That's love. Love nothing. It was
rheumatism.

Oh, well, I'm sure that Gary will have a
perfectly good explanation when he

comes home. Oh, that's the way.

Oh, but Mother.

Gary! Oh, so he's finally come home.
Don't you let him get away with

No, Mother.

If he doesn't confess, make him. Yes,
Mother. Don't forget, you can always

back to your mother. Oh, my poor baby.

We had a blackout. I suppose you spent
it in a cocktail bar.

Oh, no, no, in a taxi.

I tried to get to a phone, but the air
raid warden wouldn't let us out.

Us? Who else was in the taxi?

Oh, us. Oh, no, just the driver and me.

Gee, it was an awful black blackout.

But I kept seeing your face before me.

Well, you wouldn't have been caught in
the blackout if you hadn't made such a

late appointment at the office.

Especially on our anniversary.

Oh, well, but darling, I just had to get
that document.

And I got something for you, too.

You see, I didn't forget our
anniversary.

For me?

Gary!

Hello? Oh, so it's you. Have you
finished lying to my daughter yet?

Gary, a diamond and sapphire bracelet.

Jewelry. They've always done something
when they come home with jewelry.

It's lovely.

You shouldn't have done it. Let me do it
for you.

30 stones.

One for each day we've been married.

Don't fall for it, Geraldine.

Oh, you're a darling.

Because of the bracelet?

Because you're you.

Oh, I'm sorry, darling.

It must be the goulash I had for lunch.
You know Arthur, he's crazy about this

stuff. Goulash with perfume sauce?

Well, there's a shortage of butter every
place, you know. Only this morning the

mayor said in a paper that... Did you
say perfume?

I did.

Oh.

Oh, perfume. Yes, well, uh... Oh, you
see, before I got the inspiration about

getting you the bracelet, I...

I thought that I'd get you the biggest
bottle of perfume in town, so I went

Slacks and naturally the sales girl, you
know, sprayed me with different kinds,

but, well, somehow none of them seemed
to suit you, so I decided on the

I can smell something all the way over
here, and it can't be the perfume.

It must be his alibi.

Ten o 'clock.

We were going to begin at seven.

We can fix that.

for Mrs. Ainsworth.

Oh, Gary, I've been so foolish.

I'll never be suspicious of you again.

Never.

I wonder who that could be. I don't
know.

Oh, Gary, congratulations, you two.

Oh, Geraldine, you look wonderful.

Must be Gary's influence. He certainly
has a way.

I feel like the uninvited guest on this
romantic occasion, but Gary left

something in the cab.

The cab?

Yes, he gave me a lift in the blackout.

If you don't know how it feels to be
left all alone in a big, dark city, I'd

have been petrified without Gary.

You didn't mention seeing Mabel.

Well, I...

Couldn't see her very good in the
blackout.

Well, Arthur deserted me until Friday,
so I asked Gary to drop me off at home.

You know, we're expecting you two for
the weekend.

Are you sure you want me for the
weekend?

Oh, naturally.

You'll love Arthur's house. It's been in
his family for more than a century.

Well, it could be in his family another
century before I put foot in it. Well,

you had it all planned.

You've been with her every time you said
you were working late.

Working late?

Well, that's how father started.

Well, he may have started that way, but
he wound up with a lovely daughter.

I'm in no mood for flattery. Really,
Geraldine, there's nothing wrong. Well,

maybe not with anybody else but you.

Do you mind if I resent that?

Oh, goulash.

With perfume sauce.

Oh, mother said you were guilty. You
tried to buy me off with jewelry.

Well, I hope you're happy.

Ruining the best years of my life.

We've only been married 30 days.

Well, those were the best 30 days of my
life.

Oh, thanks.

Oh, Geraldine. No, no, that's just what
she wants you to do.

Yeah, but she'll walk out on me. Oh, no,
she won't. Let her have her cry, and

then she'll get lonesome and curious and
open the door, and then you can take it

from there.

Certainly done fine so far.

What about the package you took out of
the cab?

No, I threw it in the ash can. Oh, not
my beautiful nylons. Oh, darn your old

nylons. I'm afraid that's what I'll have
to do.

You mean that wasn't the slip I threw in
the ash can?

Here is the slip.

Get that thing out of here. You ought to
know better than to bring that thing up

here. If you get out of some place,
you'll lose it.

Give it to me. Oh, no.

I'll throw it out the window. No, I
won't let you have it. Why not?

Because you haven't the courage to tell
her the truth.

She'd never believe me. Her mother
wouldn't let her. Oh, hang her, mother.

Don't put any ideas into my head.

Listen, Gary, a friend of her mother saw
us together in Mexico City and jumped

at conclusions.

Conclusions? Arthur and I have never had
any secrets from each other.

I don't want him to begin to doubt me
now.

I'm sure you feel the same way about
Geraldine. Oh, of course I do.

Then you'll have to square me as well as
yourself.

Farth and you are going to be business
partners. Geraldine and I will have to

see a lot of each other. I don't want to
spend all my spare time picking knives

out of my back. What can I do?

Shore the slip.

No Don Juan or Casanova would ever be
guilty of an approach like this.

Every woman knows that.

But you don't know Geraldine. I'm
beginning to know her. That young lady

be cut from her mother's apron strings.
Scissors don't come that sharp. Mine do.

I'm going to give you one more chance to
tell her or I'm going to shore the

slip. But you can't show her that. Who
says I can't? I do. I won't let you.

do anything to stop you. Stop me?

Nobody can stop me. I'll wave it from
the housetop.

If it's a clear night, I'll wear it in
Lacey's window.

Lacey's window?

Gary!

Coming, dear.

Many, many, many.

Right.

Nice, this window.

Nice, this window.

Right.

Nice, this window.

I know.

You, Gary, you gave it to me first.

You may tell her you made it for her,
but you gave it to me.

Mabel, you take that slip off. Never.

I'll always wear it. Take it off.

Why? It's immodest. You talk of modesty.
Where are your pants?

Mabel, give me that slip.

Never, never, never, never.

You gave it to me first.

You gave it to me first.

You gave it to me first.

I'll do anything to stop you.

You gave it to me first.

You gave it to me first.

You gave it to me first. You gave it to
me first. You gave it to me first. I'll

kill you, Mabel.

I'll kill you, Mabel. I'll kill you,
Mabel. If you tell Geraldine, I'll kill

you. I'll kill you, hear me?

I'll kill you, Mabel.

I'll kill you, Mabel.

I'll kill you if you tell Geraldine.
Gary.

Gary, wake up.

Gary, you're dreaming.

Don't listen to her. She's lying, I tell
you.

Gary.

You're talking in your sleep.

Did she tell you?

Mabel show it to you?

She show me what?

What's going on between you and Mabel?

hiding something Gary Ainsworth, and I
intend to find out what it is.

Here, take your old bracelet.

So that's why she's so anxious to have
us at Arthur's place for the weekend.

Geraldine, your gown's simply charming.

Oh, thank you.

Part of your trousseau?

Yes. Mother has such delightful taste.

I must talk to your mother about my
trousseau. Oh, would you really?

With your experience, I'm sure Mother
could learn a lot about trousseaus from

you. Oh, thank you very much. I'm
writing a book on all my husbands. I'm

beginning on chapter two.

Oh, that's very... Incidentally, that's
a remarkable gown you're wearing this

evening. Last trousseau?

Oh, yes.

Yes. I hope mine wear as well.

Well, after all, we only get out of a
gown what we put into it. My major

these days is lingerie.

Lingerie? Yes, I saw some lovely things
in Mexico City.

And my friends there were very generous.
I'll get you one of those.

Would you two girls excuse me? I think I
smell something burning.

What are you doing stalling around down
here? Get upstairs and get me that

thing. Well, I will as soon as my pulse
gets back to normal.

Looking for ladies' lingerie gives me an
interiority complex. I'm not interested

in your complexes. I want that slip.
Well, I can get tossed out of the

union. They get pretty nasty about
things they're not quite above board.

Like underhandedness.

Everybody's down here now. You may not
get another chance.

Well, I've been wondering in my mind if
I want to have another chance at this.

It would seem to me for $200 you can
afford to take a chance. Now go upstairs

and make it fast.

Make it $250, I'll make it faster.

All right, $250.

Thank you.

I'm doing it for you and not for the
money. I hate money. Money smells.

It has a nice smell, hasn't it?

Break out the bourbon! The launchments
have landed.

Hello, Mabel, dear. How are you? Hello,
Geraldine. Hello, Geraldine.

as converts to wedded bliss. Are you
still blissing or have you started

Oh, no, everything's just fine. Come on,
Alicia, we'll park your belongings.

Jimmy, will you take care of the bag?
Oh, you should have seen the bag he was

taking care of at lunch yesterday.

Pardon me, but are you

looking for someone?

Someone called for room service. I must
be on the wrong floor.

Wrong floor? This is only a two -story
house.

It gives you the impression of being in
lodges, doesn't it?

I'll ask him downstairs.

Pardon me.

Say, who's the caricature from the
mystery play I just saw in the hall? You

the Coney Island cossack?

That's Boris.

Who's Boris? Boris, he's a waiter from
the Drake. He came down to help out.

Claims to be of royal blood. Personally,
I think he has borscht in his veins. He

looks like a phony to me, the way he's
pussy -putting around the hall.

Ah, you're always the special.

Don't worry about him. Just see that you
don't go pussy -putting around the

room. I still think he's a prowler,
Martha.

Ah, it sounds interesting. I may join
him. Friday night is my night to prowl.

Martha's right. This isn't your house.

We are guests, aren't we? No, guests are
welcome. We're relatives.

Distant relatives.

I bet Martha wishes we were much more
distant. Oh, no, I love relatives.

What stranger could you get to eat your
food, wear your clothes, use your car,

borrow your money, and smile all at the
same time?

Geraldine plays beautifully. She has
such a professional touch.

Tchaikovsky. She's upset.

Did you tell him?

Maybe I don't intend to tell him.

Then I do.

I'll deny it.

Your signature's pretty definite
evidence.

You might have my signature, but
Geraldine knows I can't do embroidery.

That I will have a way of explaining.

Maybe you won't have to explain it.

You better start worrying, my friend.

I'm not going to start worrying until I
have to.

Maybe I won't have to.

Cigarette? Why, Gary, darling, you know
I don't smoke.

Will you two please excuse me? I want to
see a book about a definition.

You were playing Tchaikovsky, darling.
Aren't you feeling well? Oh, Gary,

darling, you know I don't smoke.

Is that the only bad habit she hasn't
got? Oh, honey, don't be that way.

Look. Why not run off upstairs and get a
little rest?

I want to wait here for Arthur to arrive
and... I'll be up later. Arthur?

Oh, I'll wait up for Arthur, too.

I'm not a bit tired.

Besides, it's so nice here.

This old house is so charming. The
country air and the snow.

I will have skiing tomorrow.

The night is young.

Who knows what might happen? We may even
have fun. And you wouldn't want me to

miss that.

Fun? Doing what? Anything.

We might even dive for an apple.

Oh.

Well, that's a fine reception.

Hey, where are all my guests?

Well, if it isn't old man Faith in
person. Hello, everybody.

Hello, Stinky. Oh, darling.

You see what he means by everybody.

Go right ahead. Don't mind us.

Well, if everybody doesn't mind.

Miss me?

With all the people in Washington, I was
still lonesome. Why?

Oh, those senators may know all the
angles, but darling, they haven't got

curve.

Why, Martha.

There's some supper in there for you
late arrivals.

Now, there's a sister to be proud of.
What a wonderful wife you'll make some

someday. Jimmy's right.

Oh, darling, Martha just isn't the type
that appeals to men. But I do. As a

matter of fact, I can marry anybody I
please. Well, love, why don't you? I

please anybody.

Arthur,

hello. Hello, Geraldine, Gary. How was
the anniversary? Oh, wonderful. Careful.

I started the wire here, but they
wouldn't take it.

Hey, look.

What? No roast beef?

Did

you

get it? Yes, I got it. But that fish eye
I got from the gentleman up in the hall

is worth another 50 bucks. All right,
300 then, but give it to me.

Gary.

Coming.

I'll never forget you for this, Boris.
Never mind me. Just don't forget the

Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all
the day. Oh, what fun it is to ride on a

horse or a sleigh. Ah, the snow,
darling, the country air. It doesn't do

something to you.

Skiing in the morning, look out below.

Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all
the day.

Diving into a tub of apples. Ah, the
yuletide spirit.

It brings out the Tchaikovsky in me.

I wonder what brought that on. Could be
his winter underwear.

Gary, go tight.

Tight? I've loosened up for the first
time in years. Let's celebrate.

Ambrosia for the Duchess and a tankard
of your finest ale for me, my man. And

you, my lad, you may stable the steeds
and bid the maid prepare the bridal

chamber. My princess.

My princess.

Don't look now, Your Highness, but your
slip is showing.

And come the door.

Oh.

Oh. Oh.

Gary, what's wrong?

Nothing, nothing.

Better give him a safety pin.

My back itches.

It's my suspenders.

This darn synthetic rubber. I've got to.
Well, I've got to. That's all. Well,

turn around and let me fix it. No, no,
no. I can't stand to have anybody fiddle

with my suspenders. Pardon me, Mrs.
Ainsworth, but I'm somewhat of an expert

these matters. I'll fix the suspenders.

Perhaps a cup of black coffee will
settle your husband's nerves.

I'll get it.

Thanks, Boris.

Pardon me, sir. Now that I've
accomplished my mission, there are a few

outstanding between you and me.

$300 left, to be exact. Well, sure, but
I haven't got the cash. I'll have to

write you a check.

Can I do something for you, monsieur?

Yes, yes, Boris. You might get me a
bourbon. Make it a double. Yes.

What's the idea, Gary, trying to work
yourself up to a light case of DT?

Well, if I get him, I'll have you to
thank for it.

Did you tell her you had a wonderful
opportunity?

No, no, I didn't. You see, she wasn't in
a very good mood.

Oh, now, look, Gary, I told you before.

I'm not doing this just for you. I'm
thinking of Arthur and myself, too.

got to tell her and save us all a lot of
embarrassment.

I suppose you wouldn't believe me.

What do you mean?

Well, let's say, for instance, that you
couldn't produce the slip.

I know exactly where I can lay my hands
on it.

Are you sure of that?

Positive. Well, I hope you can.

I'll tell you what I'll do.

You produce the slip, and I'll tell
Geraldine everything.

It's a deal.

Shake. What have you got that for? Oh,
this. Oh, well, I just put that on there

so I wouldn't forget something.

Dear old absent -minded Gary.

You know, you're really a very sweet
guy.

Apparently, your husband doesn't need
that.

Thanks, Mabel. Want to rehearse your
story and see how it sounds?

No, I don't want to rehearse it. Just
make it sound natural.

Here you are, sir. Bourbon for you and a
blank check for me.

Empty this and fill that.

Help me get that over with, boy.

Open your hand.

I can't. I got a hold of this lip.

Let go.

Oh.

All right.

To think that such a little thing could
cause such a big fuss. Put that down.

What's the matter with you anyhow?

Oh.

What's the matter with you?

It's the wrong one. But you said pink.

Yes, yes, I know I said pink, but kind
of an offshade sort of American beauty.

Well, if that isn't American beauty,
then I never took out my first papers.

well, are you sure you were in the right
room? Well, the way things happen

around here, I'm not sure if I'm in the
right town.

Were there any more pink things like
this around? Oh, lots of them. For a

who's out for a weekend, she must be a
very restless sleeper. Well, take this

back and try again. Not me, not me.

Well, you've got to. You can't let me
down now. Oh, yes, I can. Besides, if I

keep on stealing underwear, it's liable
to become a habit. How can stealing

underwear become a habit? Well, you know
how that stuff creeps up on you.

What's the matter with you? Don't you
want $300?

Mm -mm. Too dangerous.

I've got to think of my family.

Your family?

Well, that's what I mean. Think of your
children. Maybe they're hungry.

Think so? Well, sure. And your wife.
Maybe she's hungry, too.

And me out in the country.

I'd be like a rat. You should.

Make it $350.

Maybe they are hungrier than we think.

They're practically starving to death.
All right, I'll make it $3 .50, but get

going. Oh, you're so good to me.

What am I crying for? I haven't gotten
wife and children.

Oh, have a pickle, Doctor.

I'm going now, Miss Martha.

All right, Priscilla, and good luck for
tomorrow.

Oh, I'll be here to serve breakfast in
the morning.

Johnny isn't picking me up until noon.

Good night, Mr. Arthur.

Good night, Priscilla. Good night, Miss
Martha.

And remember, you promised to stand up
with me.

I'll not only stand up with you, I'll
carry your husband over the threshold.

Good night.

I'll do anything to keep a maid.

You know, Priscilla's getting married
tomorrow.

Who's she marrying?

A war worker.

Oh. Only known him a few days.

Another one of those wartime marriages,
huh? Well, maybe it's a good idea. Marry

him wartime and live in peace. Jimmy and
I married in peacetime. Now look at

her. I'm never an armistice.

War time or peace time, what's the
difference? It all depends on the man

get. Or whose man you get.

Touché. Say, isn't Priscilla a little
young to be getting married? No, if a

must marry, she ought to do it before
she's old enough to know better.

Why are you against marrying, Martha?
I'm not against marrying. I'm not even

against it. Oh, I think marriage is
wonderful. No family should be without

If it weren't for marriage, none of us
might be here.

You're getting my point. There's only
two things wrong with it, the husband

the wife.

You probably consider yourselves very
modern to be so cynical about marriage.

Why, Gary and I still prefer to be old
-fashioned.

We think marriage is wonderful, don't
we, darling?

Why couldn't I have gotten the right
one?

What? A slip of the lip is mind
-wandering. Don't worry, it won't wander

far. Oh, yes, I'm sorry. It was a slip.
I mean, that is, I was thinking of

something else.

Sure, I think marriage is fine. There's
nothing like it. And I doubt if there

ever will be.

Good.

Well, what's the matter with her?

Geraldine!

Baby!

Operator, get me New York, circle 7
-1043.

Yes, it is an emergency call.

Hurry, please. Call me back.

Geraldine, sweetheart, aren't you
feeling well?

What? I'm not even humming, Tchaikovsky.

So you think you got the wrong one.
Well, maybe you should have married her.

Darling, please, that's allowed.
Everyone will hear you. Well, what do I

Why did you bring me here? Bring you
here? I didn't want to come. You

Well, then why did you talk me out of
it? Oh, then confound it. You'd have

thought I had some ulterior motive. And
now I'm sure of it. Wipe that lipstick

off your face.

Lipstick?

Oh, darling, I can explain. Don't touch
me.

Hello?

Oh, it's ready.

Oh, yes, put her on, please.

Hello?

Oh, hello, Mother.

Geraldine, you're crying.

Baby, did he strike you? Oh, no, Mother,
worse than that.

I'm going to leave him and go home to
you.

And if he does strike you, don't hit him
back. Oh, no, Mother. Let me do it.

Yes, Mother.

You're so understanding.

But, Geraldine, your mother doesn't
understand. Oh, yes, she does.

She knows all about men like you. Oh,
but, sweetheart... Don't shout at me. I

won't help you. Stop you screaming at
me. Go away from me. Oh, for heaven's

sake. I never want to see you again,
you, you monster.

She'd make a wonderful top sergeant in
the Marines.

There's a girl that needs a good
spanking. Well, the trouble with Gary is

too good.

Too good?

How is it everybody can fool you but me?

Oh, Gary is a nice guy. It's a darn
shame somebody doesn't do something to

Geraldine realize it. Oh, they're all
right.

Have a little faith in them. It'd be a
case involving lawyers and a divorce

settlement if she doesn't quit acting so
juvenile.

Well, they must have been in love or
they never would have gotten married.

trouble is, Gary married a telephone
conversation with Geraldine at one end

her mother at the other.

You... You did this, you... Mother -in
-law.

Seriously, you know, I'd like to
straighten Geraldine out.

Or flatten her out.

Hey, maybe we could try the flirtation
cure. How does it work?

You know, a woman never appreciates a
man until she thinks she's losing him.

Oh, I get it, but who's going to do the
flirting?

Oh, well, of course, that's a job for a
woman with experience and finesse. Yes,

well, don't look at me, because if I'm
going to be the other woman, I'm going

pick the other man.

Well, Mabel can't do it. She's too
wrapped up in Arthur.

So that leaves you, Ducky, as if you
didn't know.

Well, aren't we overlooking a little
item like Jimmy?

I'll explain it to Jimmy if it works and
to a judge if it doesn't. Now go on,

Mountie, and get your man. Okay, but if
you suddenly notice a difference in the

temperature, don't blame the heating
system.

I'll have Geraldine down in ten minutes.
Okay, if I remember my work and I think

I do, make it five.

Gary!

Not that.

It isn't loaded.

Oh.

Oh. I heard Geraldine scolding you. Come
on, dear, tell Alicia all about it. Oh,

Alicia, I love Geraldine. I want to make
her happy, but she won't let me.

Nobody will let me. Oh, cheer up.

Maybe I'll let you.

You? Darling, did you ever think that it
might be your fault a teeny weeny bit?

My fault? Yes.

You baby her too much. You know, maybe
you need a little babying too.

Oh, do I?

Mm -hmm.

You know, there comes a time in every
man's life when he just wants to rest

head on some woman's shoulder and be
caressed and have all of his cares

away.

You know, Alicia, I believe you're
right. Oh, yes, I know I'm right. You

all the happiness that only a woman of
understanding can give to a man.

Do I?

Uh -huh.

Oh.

What's the matter? Are you in pain?

No, I'm not in pain. Just worried. What
are you worried about?

Alicia? Yes?

I believe I can confide in you.

Of course you can.

If you knew that something had happened
in a man's life before marriage, you

know... Oh, I know what you mean.

Another woman, naturally.

Yes, but not so naturally.

Oh, I see.

Letters? Something else.

Something else?

Something a lot more intricate.

Oh!

Oh, Gary!

Gary!

Not that.

Oh, poor Geraldine. Where did it happen?

Mexico City. Oh, how could you be so
foolish?

It didn't seem like very much at the
time. It was just one of those little

slips, as you call them. Little slip?

That's all. And now the woman wants to
show it to Geraldine. Well, has she

that it's yours?

It bears my name.

Oh, how terrible.

Well, it's worse than that. The woman is
engaged to be married, and she wants to

square herself with her future husband.
Well, won't he let her keep it? With my

name? Why, he'd shoot me.

Well, does she want you to take it? She
wants me to take it and show it to

Geraldine. Oh, you poor, poor darling.
No wonder you've been so worried. Oh.

I knew you'd understand, Alicia. But
we've got to do something about this and

it quickly.

Well, you seem to feel as bad about it
as I do. Do you really think it's

serious? Serious? I think it's terrible.

Well, you do. Well, you won't tell
Geraldine. No, of course I won't. Word

honor. Word of honor. Oh, you're a pal,
Alicia.

Look, I've got to go to my room and
think about this thing.

Do you think... No, you wouldn't.

She wouldn't come downstairs. I
couldn't...

Well, what happened with you?

What happened? It's what's going to
happen. What's going to happen? What do

mean? Did you try him? Will he flirt?
Will he flirt? He's a darn woman.

Oh, go on and tell me. I can't tell you.
All I can say is that Gary's a plaster

saint. What are you two buzzards
hatching? This one has a secret, and

going to help me pry it out of her. If I
know Alicia, we won't have to pry it

out of her. I can't tell you. I gave my
word of honor.

But if you'll give me your word of
honor, I'll tell you.

Boy, you certainly had me fooled. I
didn't think you had it in you.

Gary, you've got your lips on crooked.

Hmm? Oh.

Ah, wait a minute.

Here, use one of these.

Always destroy the evidence.

Burn it.

Arthur, there's something I'd like to
discuss with you.

It's rather embarrassing.

Embarrassing? Yes.

I feel you should know. After all, when
a man's honor is concerned... You mean

that little love scene?

Yes, who told you? I saw it.

You saw him kiss her? Yeah, and just
between the two of us, I think Gary

pretty badly about it. He just ordered
this double bourbon. I know, Arthur, but

listen... Now, don't get excited. I
wouldn't even notice. You wouldn't

Oh, you know Gary.

He's harmless. Oh, is he? Yeah, I just
let the whole matter drop.

Have a little faith, Jimmy. Have a
little faith in me.

Of course, Arthur. If you don't care,
why should I worry?

Jimmy, I want you to know that I think
Alicia is a very fine, sympathetic wife.

If you don't mind, Gary, I wish you
wouldn't mention my wife.

Oh, I'm sorry. I apologize.

I guess I owe you an apology, too,
Arthur.

You certainly do.

Think nothing of it.

Will you forgive me, too?

Certainly. If Arthur doesn't mind, go as
far as you like.

Sure, Gary, go as far as you like.

Say, that's darn decent of you fellas.

I will.

I tell you, all men are rats, and it's
our... beauty to pen her. Well, let's

give this a thought. I don't think we
ought to go in there.

Well, why not?

I wish I could tell you, but you've got
Gary all wrong.

All wrong? Why, you don't suppose a man
would confess to a thing like that

unless it was true, do you?

Well, yes, I do. He might.

But look, I tell you, he was married or
something in Mexico. Why worry Geraldine

about it?

There comes a time in every woman's life
when she needs a friend.

Three friends.

Come in.

Oh, we heard you were upset and just
dropped in to see if there was anything

could do for you. Oh, I was just a
little tired and nervous.

Oh, poor sweet, sweet little Geraldine.
Isn't there something I can get for you,

dear? No, thank you. Maybe a hot water
bottle.

A cup of Ovaltine? What for? I'm
perfectly all right.

Oh, you feeling better, Geraldine? Yes,
thank you, Gary, darling.

Well, try and get some rest, dear.

Yes, and call us if you need us.

And don't forget, if you can't depend on
your friends at a time like this, what

are friends for?

Can I get you something to... Can you
get me anything? What's going on around

here? All this whispering, all this
saccharine sympathy.

Everybody's keeping something from me.
What is it? Oh, don't tell me. You

wouldn't tell me the truth anyway, but
I'll find out. Oh, please, sweetie. It's

something about you. Something you've
done or been doing or going to do. But

don't worry. Nothing, not even you, can
keep the truth from me.

But when I do find out, I'll drag your
name to every court in the country.

Good night, girls.

Good night. Don't talk in your sleep,
Alicia. Oh, I'll try not to, but if you

suddenly hear a scream, you'll know that
it's Gary Ainsworth haunting me. Why

should that guy haunt you?

Oh, I wish I could tell you. Well,
you're not going to get any sleep until

do. I think Alicia's having
hallucinations about Gary, but I've got

show you that'll curl your hair.

This is the darndest crowd.

What's the matter with everybody?

Well, Alicia was tired.

Yeah, I can understand that. Oh, she's
had a trying evening.

She was certainly trying last time I saw
her.

Come in.

I got trapped. I got trapped in the
room. I gotta get out this way.

Did you get the slip? Well, I've
searched every nook and cranny. There's

there. Well, it's got to be there
someplace.

Go back and look again. Not on your
life.

Wait a minute. Shh.

You can't come in here. My wife's in
there.

Oh, watch outside of Mabel's room while
you go in and get it. Well, if she

catches me, I can't tell I'm a
woodpecker.

Never mind, I'll do it myself.

And cut me out of 350 bucks after all
this trouble?

Not on your life.

Why don't you go to bed and let the poor
girl get some sleep?

Are you two trying to get rid of me?
Yes, Mabel wants to put some curlers in

hair. I know, Martha. Yes, you know but
walks.

Looks like a couple of hurricanes came
in here to Jitterbug.

What do you know?

Well,

somebody's been here.

It's Boris.

Jimmy must be right. I'll go get our...
I think I know who it was.

Gary.

Gary's not dumb enough to go smooching
around a woman's room.

Martha, I'm going to let you in on
something.

Do you know why Gary's acting so
strangely?

Why Alicia misunderstood about the
little pink thing?

I'll bite. Why?

Well, once upon a time in Mexico City...
She's got it on. We're

lost. Well, it's going to be tough to
get it now.

But it can be done.

How?

Well, the two of us can do it.

I'll hold her.

Boris, I'm ashamed of you.

All right, then.

You hold her. Not a chance.

Well, then we have to wait till she gets
into bed, sneak in, and steal it.

Sneak into the bedroom of a sleeping
woman? I wouldn't ask anybody to do

For 350 bucks, you cannot... Me?

No.

But not even to save your home, honor,
and happiness?

I'll just have to let it go. Face it,
that's all.

I'm sorry, sir, but I'm going through
with it because I can use that 400

350.

But that was only for the slip.

Now there's a woman in it.

All right. But remember, I didn't ask
you to do it. If you get caught, you're

your own.

Corny, isn't it? And inscribed with his
own signature. Oh, who but Gary would do

a thing like that, the poor simpleton.
What are you going to do about it? If he

doesn't tell Geraldine tonight, I'm
afraid I'll have to show it to her in

morning.

I'll hold a smelling salt.

What happened?

Get away. Get away. Let me find her
pulse.

Feel anything?

Wait a minute. It is beating.

It's ticking. Oh, that's her
wristwatcher, darn fool.

Well, where's her pulse?

Somewhere there on her wrist. Do you
hear any sound?

It's growling.

Pulses don't growl. Maybe it's her
stomach. Oh, someone get Gary. Hold on,

me do this. I've got a first aid
certificate. There's a prowler around

I'm going to get him. If you see him,
yell for help. If I see him, he'll yell

for help.

Oh, you're back.

Come on, now's our chance.

What do we do now?

We lay low till she gets into bed.

Oh, no, whatever frightened her might
still be in there. Bring her in my room.

Get her into bed.

Put her on my bed, Arthur.

Is she all right in there? Oh, dear,
dear.

Alicia, you roll the smelling salts. Oh,
I think I need them much more than she

does. She's coming to, Riley. It's a
fluttering.

What's the matter?

Gary.

Where's Gary?

Oh, he's never around when I need him
the most.

Where is that sack, Gary? Oh, you poor
dear, if she only knew the truth.

What do you mean, only knew the truth? I
told you, I can't tell you. Something's

happened to Gary.

Oh, you're keeping something from me.
Where is he?

Let's go and look in all the girls'
rooms. Yes, he might be in your room. Do

feel like walking? No, dear, help me.
Yes, I want Gary.

Come on, take some more of this now.
Come on, darling. Just a minute, Arthur.

I'd like to talk to you. What, again?

Can you tell me what's been going on
between Alicia and Gary?

Oh, now, Jimmy, you told me you were
going to forget about that. How can I

forget? Oh, I don't know. Think of
something else.

My wife haunted by another man, and you
tell me to think of something else.

What makes you think she's haunted by
anybody?

When we went to our room tonight, Alicia
hinted there was something between them

that even she couldn't tell me.

After what I saw going on downstairs,
I'm ready to believe anything.

Oh, Jimmy, have faith, will you? Have a
little faith. It'll pay off. Believe me.

Come in here, Alicia. I want to talk to
you.

Well, what's the matter with him? Oh,
you know, Jimmy, he suspects Alicia of

something or other.

Always letting his imagination run away
with him.

I'm so glad you're trusting and
flexible.

You'll never doubt me, will you?

Of course not.

You know what they call me, old man
Faith.

I trust you implicitly, darling.

Well, sure you wouldn't like to go down
and stir up that fire?

Oh, no.

I've had enough excitement for one
night. I couldn't stand anymore.

All right, honey.

Have a good night, sweet.

Good night.

Good night.

ever refused to tell you anything?

In all the years we've been married,
have I ever kept a secret from you?

Come on now, Alicia. Out with it. What
goes on between you and Gary Ainsworth?

Answer me, Alicia. What does he mean to
you?

If you don't answer me, I'll think the
worst.

Are you my wife or aren't you?

Well, this is a fine time to ask that
question.

Are you my wife or aren't you?

If you... I don't know whether I'm your
wife or not. Get out of my room.

All right, then. I will get out of your
room. And I'll never come back.

Break it down.

I thought you

weren't coming in here anymore.

Now get out.

I suppose you're going to tell me that
plus -covered homewrecker wasn't in this

room. How did you get in here? Don't
answer a question with a question. How

you get in here? The same way that guy
got out.

You're either drunk or crazy or both.
Nobody's been in this room. I may be

or I may be crazy, but I'm not blind. I
saw a man.

Jimmy Larchmont, every time you start
those ham dramatics, you're trying to

cover up some of your own tricks.

What have you been doing? Never mind
what I've been doing. It's what you've

doing that I want to find out, and I
intend to. You're going to shut up or am

going to have to shut you up? I'll find
out Gary Ainsworth.

And when I do, I'll bash your skull.
You're going to do any brain bashing? Do

with your own shoe. I don't need a shoe.

I'll tear that guy to pieces with my own
two bare hands.

Oh, you want to play rough, do you?

One more word from you. Give me last
one. I'll break every bone in that city.

I didn't do that bad.

Oh, that's me.

Here he comes.

Mabel. Mabel, are you in here?

Hello,

Martha. It's funny. I could have sworn I
closed that door and locked it. Well,

you must be getting absent -minded. I
thought I saw a prowler on the roof. Did

you hear anything?

Nothing but that racket next door.

Oh, that's Jimmy and Alicia having a
little argument.

Sounds like somebody trying to establish
a new bridgehead. Who's winning? She

is, but he is accusing her of all kinds
of things.

I bet that he saw something downstairs
in the library tonight.

Jimmy threatens to bash Gary's brains
out and sounds like he'll do it, too.

I just had my walls all done over.

Gosh, it looks like prowlers are the
only peaceful things we can hope for.

Well, I hope that you and Arthur will be
very happy, darling. Thanks.

At least as happy as they are.

Come on, let's get out of here.

What you got there?

Sir, sir, let me see that.

That's it.

That's the one. Where's my money?

Hey, I want my money.

Give me that, won't you? Question my
honor for the last time. Oh, you think I

have, do you? Well, I know where I can
find that rat. And what I leave of him,

you can put in the back of your
compound.

What were you doing in my wife's room?
Your wife's room?

A woman's rosary.

Yeah, it's pretty, isn't it? It's
Alicia's. Why are you laughing?

What are you doing here?

Oh, Mabel. Oh, so you're the one that's
prowling through my lingerie. Oh, not I.

It's that wolf, Gary.

He must have sneaked out of here. Then
where'd you get this?

I took it from Gary.

Well, you tell Gary I took it from you,
and I'll get out of here.

Mabel, is that you coughing?

Have you caught cold? No, I'm quite all
right, dear.

If Arthur finds out you were here, he'll
misunderstand.

Come on. Let me in. Wait a minute. Hide
someplace quick. Under the bed. Get

under the bed. Yeah.

Move over.

Mabel.

What

hit

me? A mule.

You mean we have to have a jackass under
here, too? Quiet.

There are enough jackasses under here
already.

I thought I heard a man's voice in here.
Oh, it was Martha. She just left.

Was that you coughing?

Yes, I think I'm catching a little cold.
I couldn't find my mules.

You shouldn't be running around this
drafty old house in your stocking feet.

You'll catch your death.

That feels good.

Well, you couldn't have looked very far
for them. Here they are. Oh, there they

are. It's very silly of you to think I
could have found them, wouldn't you?

Yeah.

Oh, thank you.

Don't you think you'd better go now?

Darling, you're awfully nervous tonight,
aren't you? Oh, of course. I just

realized that this is going to be our
bridal suite.

Oh, so that's it. Yes.

Just a month from tonight. Yes.

But you're going to have a cough for a
while if I don't get to bed.

Excuse me.

Pleasant dreams.

Let them all be about me. Oh, thank you.
Good night.

Jimmy,

come on, get out of here.

Hurry up.

Come on.

How dare you compromise me.

Compromise you with that whole
convention in there?

Get out of here. Nobody's home.

Oh, so this is what you've been hiding
from me. I'll go

and see my lawyers in the morning. Let's
not start off.

I wish I had a mother to go home to.

Go away. I knew I shouldn't have married
you in the first place.

Big love to you.

Convention?

Could you tell us, please, where is the
nearest blood bank?

Gary, you moth.

Get out of here quick.

Get out of here before somebody kills
you. Come on.

Wait a minute. It's too dangerous out
that way.

All right, then go out the window, but
just get out of here. Hurry up. Come on.

The window. Hurry up. Quick. And it's
more dangerous this way. Well, you

have thought that before.

On target.

There, you see what I mean?

Boris, are you hurt? Only my dignity.

Well, you've got to get out of here.
Come on, quickly.

Oh, my cheek.

Who is it?

Arthur. Are you all right?

Yes, dear.

Open the door, darling.

I'm not dressed.

What on earth shall happen?

I don't know.

Where's Gary?

Open the door. There's a man in your
room.

There's a what?

Well, I'll get him right... I mean, I'll
get my robe.

She's out there. Here's your chance. Go
out that window. Hurry up.

No, not out there. Well, if you're
afraid of the wind, get under the bed,

Ava!

Ava! Yes, just a minute. I'm coming.

Oh, I'm sorry. Are you all right,
darling? Oh, yes, I'm fine.

There she goes again.

I think I've got him.

Gary!

Hello.

What are you doing with that?

What? This under thing.

Whose is it? Don't play innocent with
me.

I never saw it before.

Oh, it's mine.

You might as well know the truth.

Don't ask me where I got it.

I may be old, but I'm not dead.

Oh, my!

Martha, too?

I knew it what I'd say about this guy.
First, my wife locks me out of her room

with him in it. Now, here he is with
your Mabel and even poor Martha.

So this is where you've been all night.
I knew there was something between you

and this woman.

What woman?

Every woman.

Oh, now, darling, please. I thought I
heard a man in here.

Please, listen to me. Monday morning,
you can see your lawyer and arrange for

the divorce.

Oh, but darling, I can't live without
you. What do I do? Go jump in the lake.

Well, it's all frozen over.

There's a thaw in the woodshed. Why
don't you hike your way through the ice

fall in? Oh, Arthur, give a guy a break.
Please let me explain. I don't want any

explanations from you, you hypocrite.

Carrying on with my fiancé under my own
roof.

Arthur, please listen. After all, we're
partners. We were partners. It's your

own fault, Arthur. You told him to go as
far as he liked. I warned you when I

saw him kissing Mabel.

Kissing Mabel? Yes. Now, Arthur, you...
Did you kiss him?

Of course I kissed him, but it was just
as a friend. It didn't mean a thing.

Arthur, you believe me, don't you?

So that's why you've been taking his
part against Geraldine.

How long have you been laughing behind
my back?

How long have you been making a fool of
me? I think you've done a very good job

of that yourself.

Have faith, Arthur. Have a little faith.

Jimmy, come on. I'll help you to your
room.

Come on. Get away from me.

You've helped enough people around here
tonight.

Well, all I wanted to...

I wish

I

had a gun. Blow my brains out.

Oh, but Arthur, you wouldn't want me to
blow my brains out.

Why not? You haven't been using them
lately.

I'd still do it, but it wouldn't be fair
to Martha.

These nice white walls.

If I had a rope, though, I could hang
myself.

Throw it up over that bed.

Oh, Jimmy.

Jimmy, you wouldn't want me to hang
myself.

It'd be a pleasure.

Yes, but... Couldn't do that.

People coming down to breakfast with
bodies hanging on her.

She loves me.

Loves me not.

No.

Loves me.

If I had a knife, I'd go outside and cut
my throat.

Oh, but Boris, you wouldn't want me
to... Oh, on second thought, I want you

stay alive till I collect damages for
the round of bug shots in my pants.

And you still owe me $400.

You'll get your $400 when I get to slip.

Come along, baby. Let's go see Gary.

Well, how was everything in the
doghouse?

Well, don't stand there as if you never
saw a baby before. It belongs to

Priscilla's sister.

The blizzard's so bad, we're going to
keep her here till after the wedding.

Here, Boris, take this.

Well, cheer up, Casanova. Your case is
not hopeless.

I have disposed of the corpus delecti.

That's Latin for underwear, you dope.
You'll never see it again.

Martha, are you sure?

Do you think I'll stand by and see your
love boat scuttled? The slip is gone, I

tell you. I gave it to Priscilla for a
wedding present, and soon she'll be far

away on her honeymoon.

And there goes my 400 bucks. Oh, Martha,
you're a swell guy.

Oh, just a little girl scout.

Go for group number four.

Here, you hold her.

Well, what'll I do with it? Well, you
just hold her. She'll do the rest.

The girls will be down in an hour or so,
and you'll find the library warmer and

not quite so drafty.

Bring the bottle, will you, Boris?

Hey, baby.

Hey.

Hello there, baby.

Hello there, little baby.

Say, you know anything about babies? I
know everything about babies. As a

of fact, I used to be a baby once
myself.

Here, give it to me. I'll show you.

You have to treat it with diplomacy and
win its confidence.

There. Allow me to introduce myself. My
name is Boris Alexandrovich Plitnkovsky

Shishmirovich. What is yours?

Say, look at here, Miss Ainsworth. Look
at that.

I don't believe it.

What do you know?

Oh,

maybe it's hungry.

Say, baby, you have feeding time, huh?

Maybe we feed it, huh? Yeah, well, wait
a minute, wait a minute. This stuff has

to be heated. That much I know about
babies.

Oh,

look at this sweet little thing. Not a
care in the world. Let's make her more

comfortable.

There you are, Mabel. Now, is that more
comfy?

No? Well, maybe you'd rather sit on my
lap.

Come on, sweetheart, and sit right on my
lap.

Here you are.

Here we go.

Oh, now, isn't that better?

Isn't that better?

Oh, come on, Mabel, give me a kiss.

Give me a kiss, Mabel.

Hey, I'm tickling your knees, Mabel. Why
don't you laugh?

I'm going to eat up your tootsie
-wootsie. I'm going to chew it up.

I know what you need, Mabel. What you
need is a little drink. There you are,

boys. Come on, Mabel. Here.

Here. Take a swig of this.

That'll make you feel better.

There you are.

Here. Oh, come on. Put your little head
up against mine.

Oh, you little sweetheart, you.

Now, isn't that better, Mabel?

Oh, Arthur, you poor, poor darling.

I'll kill it. Oh, no, no.

Mabel, what are you doing there? The
most precious little mouth.

Come on, Mabel. Give me a kiss.

You wanted to know what was between Gary
Ainsworth and me?

There. Unless you... No, not mine.

Well, then suppose you tell us who it
does belong to. Yes, whose baby is it,

Gary? It's no use, Mabel. Gary told me
everything last night.

I told you what last night?

About her threatening to show it to
poor, poor Geraldine. Poor Geraldine?

What is it you were going to show me?

Just a harmless little slip.

Well, that's a new name for it.

Now, listen to me, all of you. This
whole idiotic mix -up is about a slip

Gary gave me in Mexico City. It had a
sentimental verse and his name

on it. I tried to get him to show it to
Geraldine, but he insisted on destroying

it. You don't expect us to believe a
story like that, do you?

Well, you all saw Martha claim it and
take it out of my room last night.

If one of you gentlemen would find her,
she'd show you the evidence.

Of course, you know she's gone to a
wedding.

Gary Ainsworth, why don't you tell your
wife the truth about this slip?

Slip?

Well, I don't know what on earth you're
talking about. I've never seen or heard

about a slip.

Why, you double -crossing... Well,
Geraldine, why are you staring at me

like that?

Oh, if I could believe it were only a
slip, I'd be the happiest girl in the

world. But how can anybody believe
anything of this? Oh, Geraldine, come

You look like an unbeliever, too,
Arthur. Why don't you follow the parade?

At this moment, all traffic's heading
south.

And as for you, Mr. Ainsworth, I hope
you're satisfied.

You've not only wrecked your own
romance, but mine, too.

Well, at least Geraldine will never know
about the slip.

Martha gave it to Priscilla, and she'll
soon be away on her honeymoon.

And you've missed our only chance to
clear ourselves. You heard what

said. What'd she say? She'd be the
happiest girl in the world if the slip

only a slip.

Oh, you mean that she... she... Oh,
gosh, we've got to get that slip back.

And in a hurry.

Here, you hold Mabel, Mabel. Come on,
Boris.

We've got work to do. That's what I was
afraid of.

Boris, get me a hat and coat.

Maybe now I can collect my $500.

$400. Why didn't I listen to Mother? Oh,
Geraldine.

You and I, baby darling, are going to
teach a doubting Thomas a lesson.

We're going to make him sorry he ever
mistrusted us. We're going to make the

others sorry, too.

Now, let's go.

London Bridge is falling down, falling
down, falling down. London Bridge is

falling down, my fair Mabel.

Mabel, we've been engaged for three
months.

I have no right to question your life
prior to that time.

I've thought this all over carefully,
and I'm perfectly willing to accept the

baby as my own.

That's very generous of you, Arthur.

Well, after all, she has your eyes.

Has she?

Yes, and when she grows up, she need
never know.

She'll bear my name.

Mabel Weldon. How lovely.

That's the least I can do. It's very
noble of you, Arthur.

Both of us Mables appreciate it, don't
we, Mabel?

And just to think, Arthur, we got her
without points.

Through the power vested in me by this
Commonwealth, I now pronounce you man

wife. Go ahead. You can kiss her.

Is there any law against kissing the
groom?

Oh, no.

Congratulations. I hope you'll be very
happy.

You get the slip from her and I'll stall
the others.

Well, well, well.

Pardon me for barging in, but I just
can't resist the wedding. This is the

bridegroom, no doubt. Well, how are you?
Congratulations.

Marriage is a wonderful thing. It
certainly is a wonderful thing. You're

to Niagara Falls on your honeymoon, I
suppose.

Well, that's just fine. Beautiful place,
Niagara Falls. Beautiful place.

Yeah, beautiful place, Niagara Falls.
Only we ain't going to Niagara Falls.

but you've got to go there. Everybody
goes to Niagara Falls.

No, I've got to go back to the tank
factory.

I'm a tank tester. Oh.

All day long, they run tanks over me,
and if the treads don't break, the tanks

is okay.

Hey, where's Priscilla?

Oh, who's Priscilla? Gary Ainsworth,
what are you and Boris up to now?

What's that?

I heard a scream.

Oh, me. Oh, darling, that man. He tried
to take the slip off my back. Oh, he

did, did he? Oh, please, don't pay any
attention to my friend. He always goes

around trying to steal slips. He's a
slip -the -maniac. Say, what is this?

are you guys? What do you want?

Well, your wife's got something that I
have to have. Oh, she has, has she?

Say, what's going on between you two?

I think I can explain that, Mr.
Tanktester.

I want her to explain.

What does this guy mean to you?

Johnny, this is our wedding day.

How can you think anything like that?

How can he think, period? Now look what
you've done.

Yes, now see what you've done. Take off
those glasses.

I can't see without my glasses.

You had better not see what's going to
happen to you. Take off those glasses.

Very well, but it changes my entire
personality.

Where'd everybody go?

Stop it, stop it. There's just a little
piece of this county. I put you under

arrest.

You're under arrest.

You're under arrest.

Gary, you get out of here. You've broken
up enough marriages for one weekend.

Oh, no, you don't.

He doesn't get out of here till he gets
what's coming to him. All I want is that

slip. Take off those glasses. Oh, no,
you don't fool me with that a second

Why, you... Open up! Open up! Open up in
the

name of the law!

Open up! Open up! Open up!

Open up!

There must be an easier way of making a
living.

When the bar breaks, the cradle will
drop.

But Geraldine, dear, you can't

possibly go out in this blizzard. Oh,
yes, I can.

Nothing could be worse than the
humiliation I've suffered in this house.

Oh, dear.

If you must persist in these lies, you
might at least refrain from knocking me

down. Hold everything.

The Marines have landed.

Now, there is your confounded evidence.

Any more talk about it, I'll wear it
myself and see what happens. Now, stop

this foolishness.

Here's your slip. Where's my 500 bucks?

Oh, look.

Do you want to know something?

She almost got a new name. And a new
daddy.

Hey, boy.

I don't know what to say. I feel like a
run -down heel.

Have a little faith, darling. Have a
little faith.

Geraldine, your mother wants you on the
telephone.

Tell her I don't need her anymore.

I've just discovered my husband has
hidden talent. Let me tell her.

Geraldine! Coming, Mother!

Geraldine, I want you to come right home
before you get assaulted.

Forgive that, me love. Madam!

Operator, operator, you better switch to
the next picture.

This will never get by the census.