All language subtitles for The.Ms.Pat.Show.S05E03.License.and.Registration.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-RAWR_track3_[eng]

Don't you hate dealing
with the consequences

of a bad situation?

Y'all, consequences help
us make better decisions.

Remember when your mama told
you to take that meat out

of the freezer and you didn't?

She'd knock your
fucking neck back.

I bet you next time, that
meat will be thawed out.

Let's start the show.

I think they fucking.

OK.

I'm-- I'm very happy that
we're together, DD.

But making love in your
teenage niece's bed

is crazy, even for us.

Well, this my bed now,
because, as of this morning,

Janelle left for college.

And this mattress ain't
never seen this much action.

But I'm staying in
a five-star hotel, baby.

We could be chilling
in a Cal king

right now with some
room service shrimp cocktails.

I know, Kareem, but doing
it here makes it feel special.

I feel like I'm 16 again.

I ain't trying to
fuck no 16-year-old.

Well, you're 16,
too, in my head.

Oh, you said you
want some more head?

Ooh.

Ooh! Pat's back!

No, she ain't.

Come on now.

Stop worrying about Pat-Pat.

Oh, OK.

And keep your
eyes focused on me.

Ooh, OK.

You don't hear that banging?

Who is interrupting my
"16 and Pregnant" role play?

We need to get
you into therapy.

I tried therapy once.

I got halfway
through my life story

and the bitch tried to
jump out the window.

Get off me.
I gotta go get the door.

Inconsiderate knocking
while I'm trying

to get my boots knocked.

Problematic pounding while I'm
trying to go to Pound Town.

Elizabeth, what the--

Junebug.

What did he do?

Get jumped or something?

Hey, Auntie.

It's Taco Tuesday.

I know damn well you
ain't drunk right now.

Ain't no party like
a Bugjune party,

'cause the Junebug party
don't--

Oh, God.

So he hit
my tree with a car.

But don't worry.

My tree is fine.

Junebug doesn't have a car.

Yeah, it's not his car.
It's--

Oh, God, no, no.

Yeah, it's Pat's car.

OK.

Let me get your phone.

- OK.
- Thank you, baby.

I've got to call
the funeral home.

Ohh.

♪ Come on, it's time to go ♪

♪ It's "The Ms. Pat Show" ♪

Wow!

Janelle, you're going
to love it here, girl.

This place has got everything.

Yeah.
For real.

Make me wish I went
to damn college.

You know, I thought
these kids at Hansberry

were going to be
annoying like your ass,

but these some
fly-ass Black people.

Girl, go work that damn room.

Dang, Mama, I am not here
to work the room, OK?

This is not the Player's Club.

That's right.

The only thing you need to
be working is your brain.

You see, Janelle,
your brain is a muscle.

And while you're
here in college, I--

Enough.
OK?

The whole car ride was a "do
what your Daddy say" podcast.

Please, stop.

That sounds like
a freaky-ass podcast.

Well, baby,
you about to go out

into this wild world on your
own for the very first time.

It is my duty to share all of
my fatherly wisdom with you.

And it's my duty to share all
of my motherly wisdom with you.

If you get pregnant, I will
kill all three of y'all.

OK.

I don't need any more wisdom.

I just need to fix my
schedule that y'all messed up.

Uh, that was your mama.

What did I do?

You picked my
classes behind my back.

I didn't do that.

Do I look like
Boo Boo the Fool?

- Yeah, Boo Boo.
- OK.

Janelle, baby,
just refresh your website.

OK?

And just get all
the classes that you want.

OK?

The website's still crashed.

God, I'm doomed.

Ohh.

Pick your head up, baby.

'Cause you can't
see peer pressure coming

if you're crying.

You've got to keep your
head on a swivel, like this.

Ha!
Hoo, ha!

Huh?

Huh!

OK.
All right, all right.

Hit 'em in the mouth!

Stop. Shut up.

OK. Come here.

Look, I have a great idea.

Why don't you guys go home
and I'll take it from here?

Buh-bye.

Uh, we're not
leaving yet, Janelle.

We haven't even
seen your dorm room.

- Yeah.
- And you won't.

Look around.

Do you see any
other parents here?

Yeah, that old-ass nigga
right there.

- That's a student.
- Hell nah.

That nigga got a Motown face.

Drinking and driving
in your mama's car.

What the hell were
you thinking?

I'm an alcoholic, and I
don't even do that shit.

Most I ever did was run
over a stray cat or two.

One of those cats
wasn't a stray.

You killed my Snowball.

Well, I thought
the bitch had nine lives.

You probably ran over him
eight times before me.

Junebug.

Junebug.

Junebug.

What's wrong with him?

He got a condition?

The only condition this
dummy got is dumbfuckisitis.

He got liquored up
and totaled his mama's car.

For real, for real?

No, I'm for play, for play.

Damn.

But this might be good news.

See, when Pat gets home,
she gon' be so mad at him,

she ain't gon' give a damn
about us being together.

Whoa. Wait.

Pat doesn't know you
two are shucking corn?

What the fuck
is shucking corn?

Corn tortillas.

Ooh!

Pat's back!

- Hey, baby.
- Hey, Aunt Denise.

Um--
- OK.

Hey, what's up, Uncle Coke?

All right, see, you
can't call me that no more.

I'm sober now.

OK, Uncle Coke Zero.

What are you doing
here, anyway?

Figure it out
quicker, Brandon.

Oh, so that's
what you doing here.

OK, playa.

Hey, I saw Mom's car
was wrecked outside.

Everybody all right?

No, Brandon, everybody
is not all right.

Look at your brother.

The hell happened
to him?

It's not registering.

Faster, Brandon!

- Oh, my God!
- OK.

He got it.

Somebody hit Junebug
with Mama's car!

Oh, he ain't got it.

Junebug wrecked the car.

And he was drunk.

Lit like
Magic City on a Monday.

Wait. Are you for real?

If one more person asks me
that, I swear I'ma stab 'em.

What are you doing?

I'm calling your mama.

Boy!

Are you trying to
get my brother killed?

He's trying to
get himself killed.

Give me-- give me the phone.

Boy, what the hell
is wrong with you?

We need to teach Junebug
a lesson ourselves.

We do not need to involve
Mama and turn this whole house

into a crime scene.
- OK.

Well, your mama already
kicked me out once

for not snitching on her kids,

and I'm not gonna let
that shit happen again.

Do you hear me, Brandon?

OK?

Because I have waited
years for Janelle's room,

and I finally got my own bed.

And I finally got my own space.

And I got me a nigga who's
gon' eat this coochie.

OK?

In a matching kimono!

And you are not gon'
screw this up for me.

Ah, "eat this coochie"!

Damn, this line
taking forever.

Yeah.

Next up.

What you looking at, boy?

Uh-huh.

What did I tell you in the car?

Dusty books, not dusty boys.

Say it with me, Janelle.

How about dusty parents
get in there dusty car

and go dusty home?
- Oh, really?

I can't take this no more.

I've got to get to
the front of the line.

Ma, just don't make a scene.
OK?

Girl, I'm an actress.

All I do is scenes.

I thought it was a porno.

Say what?

It was a film.

I got that shit, bitch.

Get your "Kenan & Kel"
lookin' ass out of here.

Thank you so much for
saving my spot in line.

I sure appreciate you.

Hello?

Hey.

Bitch, you lying.

They raiding the dorms?

They raiding
the dorms?

Hell nah.

They looking for weed?

I told you I was
gon' get us up here.

This is a nightmare.

Oh, honey, she's just
doing the most because she's

scared of losing you.

This is just her
way of showing it.

Give her some grace, huh?

Fine.

I guess you're right.

At least I got one sane parent.

- Mint?
- Oh, yeah.

Sure.

And it was a roofie.

You're dead.

Junebug.

Man, that's a
fine-ass white girl!

Where?

All right, so y'all said
that Pat and Terry was

with Janelle at school, right?

So that's a big trip
for a parent.

Maybe Brandon's right, and
you shouldn't bother them

with all this drama today.

OK, OK.
You're not wrong.

And I'm not hiding it if I
let them choke his ass out

when they get back.
- That's true.

But that ain't enough for me.

I'm still trying to watch
this little boy squirm.

What do you mean?

What I mean is I did some
stuff in my teen years,

but I've never been dumb
enough to drink and drive.

Well, that's true, but
you've been dumb enough

for everything else.

Look.

He needs to know
how serious this is.

He could have killed himself.

Or somebody else.

I'm finna tear
these tacos up.

Your ass ain't eating
no damn tacos, Junebug!

Look at his ass.

Sleeping like
his shit don't stink.

Well, he only act that
way cause there hasn't been

any real consequences for him.

He'll grow out of this.

Exactly.
He's a teenager.

He's just feeling like
he's untouchable right now.

Ooh, I remember when we felt
like untouchable teenagers

about an hour ago.

Look.

He needs to learn his
lesson before it's too late.

And I'm tired of
these Blue Cross kids

getting better coverage.

Y'all know what I meant.

Look. He gone.

When he wakes up, he ain't
gon' remember none of this.

Ooh, that's it.
I got it.

What?

I need a bottle of
ketchup and a beer.

Ketchup and a beer?

Weird time for
a hot dog, bruh.

OK.

Well, tell us what
you're thinking.

No, I got a genius idea,
and you're just gonna

have to trust my intelligence.

Yes.

both: Nigga, tell us
what you're thinking.

Oh, shit!

Next.

Hey, young lady.

I'm a psychic,
and your mother just died.

Mom, that is too far.

What? She gon' be
happy as hell

when her dead mama
answer that phone.

By the time she makes it to
the front, the only classes

that are gonna be left
are going to be the ones

that she picked out.

I'm gonna wind up majoring
in leisure studies,

or worse, spades.

Oh, no.
I'm gonna flop.

Hey, hey, hey.

Hey, baby, just breathe.

OK?

You guys just
give me so much anxiety.

I'm sorry, baby.

Here, have a drink.

Ahh!

Roofied again.

Dad.

You're on a
college campus now.

You just can't
accept some drink

from some strange man, girl.

I didn't.

I accepted it from my father.

How do you know I'm me?

Argh!

I'm gonna get kicked
out of my fallback school,

me, Janelle Carson,
me, the Janelle Carson.

Hey, is everything all right?

No, not really.

I-- I can't get into any of
the classes that I wanted.

Damn, that sucks.

And I just heard
that all the top-tier

classes are already full.

One second.

OK. Dramatic.

Look.

It can't be that bad, right?

All right,
what course do you need?

Black Women's Literature.

Ooh, I'll see what I can do.

But the guy who teaches that
is supposed to be brilliant.

Actually, it's one of the most
popular courses on the campus.

Between me and you, I heard
the waitlist got a waitlist.

It's crazy.

That's pretty sad.

Why is that?

I mean, come on.

That's kind of cringe--

a man teaching Black
Women's Literature?

Uh, no.

Actually, I think more
men should lift up

literature not written by men.

That's like taking a
music class from a deaf person.

You do know Beethoven
was deaf, right?

And besides that, I think
Black men know a little more

about Black women than that.

OK.

Well, then I guess I'm
part of the minority,

but I'd rather
get my information

from the horse's mouth.

Oh.

So Black women are horses now.

OK.
- No, that's--

OK.

All I'm saying is, I bet a
Black woman could teach

Black Women's Literature,
say the exact same things

as this brilliant man, and
she still would not need

a waitlist for her waitlist.

Well, I would argue that
that's society's problem

and not the teacher's.
- OK.

Then I would say that I
don't care what society says.

I'm sorry.

I don't want to interrupt
you, but, um, I got you in.

Wait.
What?

Mm-hmm.

- Into the class?
- Yeah.

How did you even--

Because I teach it.

Hi, I'm Professor
Christian DeWalt,

and you are the Janelle--

Janelle Carson.

Yeah.

It's great to
meet you, Janelle.

I'll see you on
Monday in class.

OK?

And, uh, here's to hoping
I can change your mind.

I'm sorry.

You got a little something.

Of course. Thanks.

It's yours.

Y'all, I-- I--

What's wrong, Junebug?

I-- I-- I--

I think-- I think I might
have crashed Mom's car.

Say it ain't so, Bug.

Yeah, I think it's so.

I'ma go look.

You smell that?

I think it's cologne.

Smells like Cognac Number 5.

Mm-hmm.

I'm getting it now. Yep.

Smell like Hennessy
mixed with puberty.

Yes, I smell it too.

Who is that?

I'm sober, so I know it
ain't me that smell like yac.

Well, it couldn't
be me because I

only drink Costco wine.

June--

Junebug, tell me you
weren't drinking and driving.

Not at the same time.

Are you kidding me?

It was-- it was just a couple
of drinks with the fellas.

You know, something
to take the edge off.

Take the edge off what?

You don't pay no damn bills.

Well, neither do you.

Shut your drunk ass up.

Junebug, where did
this tricycle come from?

Oh, my God.

Did you hit a kid?
- I don't know.

I-- I--

You don't think he's the one
who hit little Timmy, do you?

Who the hell is little Timmy?

Oh, you mean it must be
Junebug who hit Timmy.

- Yes.
- Wait.

Who are you?

Oh, I'm, um--

Oh, he's-- he's with me.

Yeah, um, we were in
my bed when I--

when I heard you.

Yes, I heard you
mow down that kid.

Oh, Junebug.

Junebug, Junebug, you
interrupted an amazing time.

She's only acting.

Don't blow the plan.
- OK.

I'm good.
I'm chilling.

I'm calm.
She acting.

Count your days, bitch.

Look on the bright side,
little bro.

All we know is
that you splattered

little Timmy's guts all over
the road with Mom's car.

But we don't know if he's
dead yet, so just cheer up.

Wait.

Are y'all telling me that
I might have killed a kid?

Well, we didn't know you were
the one that hit little Timmy.

Yeah.

I mean, we all just got
back from the hospital,

and he was hooked up
to one of those machines

that go beep, beep.

Except little Timmy's
machine wasn't working so good.

There was a lot of pauses
between those beeps.

Oh, no.

Beep.

I didn't even get to
live a full life yet.

Beep.

I mean, I've only
had sex five times.

Beep.

I didn't even
hit double digits.

There, there.

OK.

All right,
so my girl is on her way.

We're really about to scare
the shit out of him now.

Girlfriend?

Yeah, the one that
I moved in with.

Brandon, how your
little girlfriend

going to help this situation?
- OK. Look.

Her name is Sheila,
Detective Sheila.

My baby's a cop.

Oh, hell no, a real one?

Yeah.

Brandon, you fucking 12?

Don't you bring no damn
detective's ass over here.

It's a good plan.

Too late. Showtime.

Oh, my gosh.

Who could that be
at a time like this?

Yeah.
Is this the Carson residence?

So that's Brandon's
new girlfriend?

I know he called her baby,
but that bitch ain't

been a baby in a long time.

Yeah, there is
definitely an age gap.

Well, something tells
me that's not the gap

that Brandon's interested in.

Um, babe,
I mean, Officer Babe.

Detective.

Detective.
- Oh.

Yeah.

How may we help you?

Yeah.

I'm looking for a first
name June, last name Bug.

Yep.

Oh, yeah.

That's the hit-and-run
suspect we were looking for.

What?
Nah.

Nope.
Can't be.

Wasn't me.

Oh, that's the-- that's
the story you're going with?

Because our sketch
artist came up with this.

Y'all see it.
Y'all see it.

Y'all see it.
You see it.

You see it, right?
You see it.

See it.
You see it.

OK.

Can you hold it still, please?
- Oh, no.

That's Junebug.

I saw it.
- She saw.

You ain't lying your
way out of this one, Bug.

Detective, can you
please tell us if the kid

that Junebug hit while
drunk driving with no license,

in the car that he stole
from his mama is dead?

The kid that Junebug
hit while drunk driving

with no license, in the car
that he stole from his mama,

is dead.
- Oh!

What?

Oh, no, no, no, no, no!

No way, man!

Oh, no.

You had a will,
and you made a way, man.

Timmy is dead.

Oh, no, not Timmy!

Whew!
- Oh, yeah.

And I've got to take you in.

Oh, no!

No.

Not our Junebug.

My baby.

Baby.

Look on the bright
side, Junebug.

At least you're gonna
reach those double digits--

in jail.

OK.

Ha-ha.

Y'all are funny, man.

This-- this is a joke, right?

Oh, you think Timmy's
death is a joke?

Man, turn around and put
your hands behind your back.

Let's go.
- What?

No.
- My God.

Just do what she says, Bug.

But wait.

But I didn't-- it was--

Brandon, you didn't say
nothing about me running.

Uh, you might want to go
catch that little nigga.

I got you.

Glad you're in a
better mood, Janelle.

Because I charmed our way
to the front of the line,

like I said I would?

Charmed?

You bullied your
way to the front

and signed me up
for Soul Food Studies.

Girl, the last time
you tried to fry chicken,

that shit was so bloody I
had to put a tampon in it.

Uh, is this the right room?

Oh, hey.

You must be Janelle.

And you must be done
lost your goddamn mind.

Mama, I got it.

I got it.

Yeah, I'm Janelle.

You must be Dussy?

D'ussé, like the drink.

Her mama was an alcoholic.

OK.

I see you started decorating.

Wow.

It looks so-- wow.

Thank you.

Oh, yeah.

I thought you wasn't coming.

Well, we're here
now, little girl.

This bed situation
is a fire hazard.

You're going to light up one
of them blunts, and then boom.

Y'all both dead.

What that got to
do with the bed?

What you doing
smoking weed anyway?

This is "medincil."

I've got HGTV.
- Huh?

And I got whip-ass says
put my baby bed back.

You are not king
coochie up in here.

Mom.

No, Janelle.

This dorm shit is like jail.

You've got to
establish your domain.

My mama said the same thing.

The fuck is wrong with you?

And where is you from?

Atlanta.

Oh, cool.

So are we.

We from Riverdale.

That's not Atlanta.

But yeah, my daddy used
to play for the Falcons.

Do your daddy
know he your daddy?

OK. All right.

I'm sorry, D'ussé,
she is only like

this every second of every day.

You don't got to
apologize for shit.

Your mama raw,
and I'm here for it.

You crazy, girl.

I love you.

She gonna be on my TikTok.

OK. Look.

Did you not see her throw
that lesbian shit up at you?

She trying to eat us, bitch.

Just go. Just go.

Get your ass out of here.

Don't eat my baby.
- Come on.

Come on.

Don't you let that
girl get you in trouble.

Mama, I won't.

Will you two trust that you
did a good job raising me?

Is that a compliment
to you or us?

Both.

Look.

I know who I am,
and I'm confident in that.

I know right from wrong.

And sometimes I'm still
gonna make the wrong choices,

but I always have
my dad's voice

in the back of my head saying,

"What do we talk about,
Janelle?"

And I'll choose better.

Well, that means
everything, baby.

And I know how to
speak up for myself,

because I learned from
somebody who doesn't

know how to stop talking.

Ma, you all right?

Your roommate got
me high as hell.

Come here.

You guys did a great
job raising me, OK?

But it's time to let me go.

Shit.

You good, Pat?

Fuck her.

She made me cry.

Let go.

We ain't gonna never
let you go, baby.

But we always
gonna lift you up.

No, really.
Let go.

I can't breathe.

Let go, Terry!

You're squeezing my side titty!

Oh, that's what that is?

Damn.

Our little girl is
going off to college.

Yeah.

Our last one.

What about Junebug?

both: Our last one.

I got him.

He still ain't faster
than his big brother.

I'm drunk, and I
haven't slept in 24 hours.

Congratulations on catching me.

Ah, he's sassy.

Take his ass in.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
OK.

Wait.
Detective, please.

I can't go to jail.

Do you hear me?
- Yes.

You just said,
"I can't go to jail."

Thank you.

I'm still taking
your ass to jail.

No.

Come on, y'all.

You see me?

I can't go in there.

They're gonna pass me
around like a bong.

Nah, boo. OK.

One, you've got to
stop lying to yourself, OK?

Because you're cute, not fine.

And then, two-- and this gon'
be real hard for you to hear--

booty stuff gonna
happen to you.

Why would you do something
this stupid, Junebug?

I don't know.

I've just been feeling
depressed lately.

Well, everybody's depressed,
but driving and drinking--

what were you thinking?

Oh, I rhymed there.

Bars.

What's going
on with you, bro?

I got sad about
Janelle leaving.

OK?

I miss her.

I know we fight,
and we argue, but--

She gets me.

And I ain't never lived a
day of life without her, so--

And now she's gone.

And, B, you just moved out.

The whole house is different.

I'm the only one left.

And I know y'all just
think I'm some screw up.

And I definitely can't do
nothing that Janelle is doing.

But--
- Nah, come here.

Come here. Come here.
Come here. Come here.

I didn't mean
for that to happen.

I know. I know. I know.

I know.
- I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.
- I know. I know.

It's going to be all right.
Don't cry.

Now, I'm not gonna
sugarcoat it for you

because you really did
a stupid thing.

But this mistake
is not who you are.

Yeah.

And look, if it makes
you feel any better,

you didn't actually
kill nobody.

Don't try to make
me feel be--

what?

Yeah, yeah, we were all just
trying to teach you a lesson.

Surprise.

Yeah.
Timmy ain't dead.

I mean, the only
thing real is that

tig ol' biddy on your forehead.

Are y'all fuckin' kidding me?

Damn.

Junebug done said "fuckin'."

He mad mad.

You people are sick.

Whoa.

Who are you calling
"you people"?

And you had to learn.

Did you see what you
did to your mother's car?

Why do you care?

I don't even know you.

I care because you could
have killed yourself.

Whose mans is this?

Because I-- I'm
not understanding.

Y'all really had me feeling bad
for going on a little joyride,

taking Mom's car, and getting
a little drunk, which is, uh--

this is some bullshit, man.

Watch your fuckin' mouth.

And you stole my car?

Hey, Ma.

Hell no.

Are you the one that did that
shit to my car out there?

Y'all better start talking.

See, I was upstairs--

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

One at a time, please.

OK.

I sent a voicemail
about this at 9:47 a.m.

so that y'all couldn't
kick me out of the house.

But, yes, Junebug went
on a drunken joyride

and totaled your car.

Without Denise's permission.

Thanks, boo.

You know I got you.

But-- but Timmy isn't dead.

Who the fuck is Timmy?

And why the fuck are
you in my house, Kareem?

Bruh, see, I was in
town visiting Denise.

Get the fuck out my house!

I'll see you at the hotel.

OK, baby.

Terry, how you doing?

Go.

Wait for me.

I don't want to
watch any of this.

You ain't slick, bitch.

Just gon' wait for
him to pull out.

OK?

10, 9, 8.

OK, bye.
- OK.

Have you lost
your fuckin' mind?

Do you know what could
have happened to you, boy?

Do you know you could
have killed somebody?

- He actually did for a--
- OK.

All right.

Now, we already
taught him a lesson.

Yeah.

And I promise I'll
never do it again.

You bet your
monkey ass you won't.

Are you a real police officer?

Actually, she's my--

- Not now, Brandon.
- Yes, ma'am.

I'm Detective Sheila Jackson.

And Junebug really
isn't under arrest.

I was just here
to teach him a lesson.

That's all.

Well, if you're a
real police officer,

I need you to really
arrest him right now.

Whoa.
I'm sorry?

Pat, are you serious?

Denise, we're both serious.

Arrest-- officer,
please arrest him.

But he's your son.

My son don't make
choices like this.

My son don't steal cars.

My son wouldn't put his life

and nobody else's life
in danger.

My son isn't the person

standing in this room
right now.

Come on, y'all.

This is too much, right?
- OK.

Everybody just stop.

All right?

Now, that is a kid.

And, Pat, you've been to jail,
so you know what that's like.

We supposed to be giving
our kids a better life.

So why are you fuckin'
up his future like this?

I didn't fuck up
his future, Denise.

He did.

Officer, this nigga
stole my car,

and I want him arrested.

If you won't arrest him, I
will call an officer who will.

All right, all right.

Come on, Junebug.
Let's go.

- Wait.
- Hey, hey.

- Ma.
- Let's go.

Please, don't do this.

God, Dad!

Come on!

Stop resisting!

I said I'm sorry.
It was an accident.

Hold still, Junebug.

- Dad, this is not--
- Hold still.

Hold still and shut up!

- Let's go.
- But--

Don't you say nothing else.

Go.

♪ She's a grown-ass woman ♪

♪ And she don't
take no stuff ♪

♪ She's a grown-ass woman ♪

♪ And you can't get enough ♪

♪ She's a grown-ass woman ♪

♪ With a husband and kids ♪

♪ She's a grown-ass woman ♪

♪ And it's
"The Ms. Pat Show" ♪