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1
00:00:00,575 --> 00:00:02,478
Hey.
2
00:00:02,559 --> 00:00:05,502
Did you know medical waste
is good for the environment?
3
00:00:05,567 --> 00:00:08,990
Nah, stop pulling my leg.
4
00:00:09,119 --> 00:00:11,518
Hey!
Quit chewing up my shoe, dog.
5
00:00:13,215 --> 00:00:17,118
Aah! Hey, stop pulling my leg!
6
00:00:17,151 --> 00:00:19,678
Mr. Pickles!
7
00:00:42,020 --> 00:00:45,805
- Where is that newspaper already?
- It'll be here.
8
00:00:45,829 --> 00:00:48,346
Just relax.
Oh, Mr. Pickles. Hmm.
9
00:00:48,370 --> 00:00:51,663
I know!
You can read me my favorite book, dad.
10
00:00:51,687 --> 00:00:52,191
Sorry,
11
00:00:52,240 --> 00:00:54,030
- I have to work.
- Oh, you always
12
00:00:54,112 --> 00:00:55,871
- have to work.
- Ah, I think
13
00:00:55,920 --> 00:00:58,591
Mr. Pickles has been doing
something to me in my sleep.
14
00:00:58,671 --> 00:01:01,631
Dad, Mr. Pickles is
15
00:01:01,695 --> 00:01:04,399
- a good boy.
- Ah, look at him.
16
00:01:04,479 --> 00:01:06,687
- No bills, no job.
- Oh, Mr. Pickles.
17
00:01:06,751 --> 00:01:08,447
Not a care
in the world.
18
00:01:08,512 --> 00:01:10,046
I wish I was a dog.
19
00:01:10,112 --> 00:01:11,423
Huh? Yeah!
20
00:01:11,488 --> 00:01:13,151
Stanley!
21
00:01:13,231 --> 00:01:14,751
- Dad!
- The newspapers be on
22
00:01:14,816 --> 00:01:17,151
- digital tablets now, yo!
- I wish I was dog.
23
00:01:17,232 --> 00:01:19,871
I wish
I was a dog.
24
00:01:22,032 --> 00:01:24,511
A cat! I gotta get that cat!
What the... hey!
25
00:01:24,560 --> 00:01:26,640
What's the matter with my legs?
Where are my clothes?
26
00:01:26,671 --> 00:01:29,710
- Mr. Goodman!
- Huh? That's me!
27
00:01:29,734 --> 00:01:30,991
That's me!
28
00:01:31,071 --> 00:01:32,911
There you are,
29
00:01:32,991 --> 00:01:34,167
- Mr. Goodman.
- Uh, call me "dad," Tommy.
30
00:01:34,191 --> 00:01:35,752
What's that, boy?
31
00:01:35,776 --> 00:01:36,783
You want
32
00:01:36,863 --> 00:01:38,302
- some scratches?
- Um... Ahh.
33
00:01:38,335 --> 00:01:40,142
Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah.
34
00:01:40,255 --> 00:01:42,142
Dad? Can you do something
35
00:01:42,175 --> 00:01:43,455
- with me today?
- Um...
36
00:01:43,583 --> 00:01:46,942
[You alwaysrking]
Have to work, dad.
37
00:01:47,007 --> 00:01:49,022
But I'm your dad.
Or am I a dog?
38
00:01:51,103 --> 00:01:53,055
Mr. Pickles.
Take out the trash,
39
00:01:53,104 --> 00:01:55,375
- mow the lawn, pay the bills...
- Wait,
40
00:01:55,455 --> 00:01:57,582
I'm not responsible
for any of those things.
41
00:01:57,663 --> 00:02:01,214
I'm free!
I can do whatever I... oh.
42
00:02:01,295 --> 00:02:04,734
You sure are
barking up a storm, Mr. Goodman.
43
00:02:04,815 --> 00:02:07,134
Barking? I'm not...
oh, look at that leg.
44
00:02:07,215 --> 00:02:08,311
I like your leg,
I like your leg.
45
00:02:08,335 --> 00:02:11,102
- Mr. Goodman!
- That Mr. Goodman
46
00:02:11,199 --> 00:02:13,694
is evil. Aah!
47
00:02:13,823 --> 00:02:15,022
Ah, wait!
48
00:02:15,103 --> 00:02:18,942
Wake up! Wake up!
Wake up, dad! Come on!
49
00:02:18,976 --> 00:02:22,014
- A coma could last forever.
- Oh, no!
50
00:02:22,095 --> 00:02:23,502
Wake up!
51
00:02:23,615 --> 00:02:25,854
- Tommy, please.
- But I want dad
52
00:02:25,903 --> 00:02:29,102
- to read my story to me!
- Tommy, go play
53
00:02:29,215 --> 00:02:31,294
- and let dad rest.
- Perfect
54
00:02:31,343 --> 00:02:34,222
for harvesting.
55
00:02:34,303 --> 00:02:37,215
- Hey, now! How you doin'?
- Terrible!
56
00:02:37,264 --> 00:02:38,862
- No! What?
- I'm so mad
57
00:02:38,943 --> 00:02:40,711
at the newspaper boy,
I don't know what to do.
58
00:02:40,735 --> 00:02:42,654
Yeah, yeah, Tommy.
I find that when you're mad
59
00:02:42,735 --> 00:02:44,574
at somebody, you should tell 'em
how you feel.
60
00:02:44,655 --> 00:02:46,894
- Hey, ladies! Where you goin'?
- Okay, Mr. Pickles,
61
00:02:46,975 --> 00:02:49,182
go watch over dad.
62
00:02:49,215 --> 00:02:50,590
Come on.
63
00:02:50,656 --> 00:02:52,359
These beeps are coming
from the rectal area, sir.
64
00:02:52,383 --> 00:02:54,591
What?!
We've got a packer.
65
00:02:54,655 --> 00:02:56,815
- Hurry up, Floyd.
- Hi, guys.
66
00:02:56,895 --> 00:02:58,974
- Nice of you to stop by.
- Oh, we're not here
67
00:02:59,023 --> 00:03:00,862
for Goodman.
We're here for lunch.
68
00:03:00,927 --> 00:03:02,782
I'm gonna break my record
69
00:03:02,815 --> 00:03:06,462
- and eat 1,000 hot dogs.
- Get back to work, Goodman.
70
00:03:06,527 --> 00:03:09,438
- Hey, what's that thing do?
- This book?
71
00:03:09,503 --> 00:03:11,902
- You... read it?
- Oh, yeah? Do... do that.
72
00:03:11,967 --> 00:03:16,446
All right.
"There once was a wiggly,
73
00:03:16,511 --> 00:03:22,414
windy road that went on and on,
wriggling and winding,
74
00:03:22,495 --> 00:03:26,238
- wriggling and winding..."
- Come on, Mr. Goodman!
75
00:03:26,303 --> 00:03:27,774
Ah! A shoe.
76
00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:29,759
- Whoa! Down, dog.
- Sorry, sorry.
77
00:03:29,855 --> 00:03:31,774
Hey, pal. Wanna sniff butts?
78
00:03:31,823 --> 00:03:33,022
Yes, I do. Oh, yeah.
79
00:03:33,055 --> 00:03:34,302
Oh, that smells good.
80
00:03:34,383 --> 00:03:35,854
Mmm, oaky.
Hey, let me get a sniff.
81
00:03:35,935 --> 00:03:37,374
Very nice. Oh, yeah.
82
00:03:37,423 --> 00:03:39,262
That is
a nice smelling butt you have.
83
00:03:39,295 --> 00:03:40,414
I'm sad.
84
00:03:40,463 --> 00:03:43,134
I wanted my dad to do something
with me, but he has to work.
85
00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:45,342
Well, I could do
lots of somethings.
86
00:03:45,424 --> 00:03:48,062
- Whee!
- Whee!
87
00:03:48,127 --> 00:03:49,278
Tommy,
you get down from him.
88
00:03:49,343 --> 00:03:51,614
- Why you talkin' to him?
- Yeah, he doesn't know what
89
00:03:51,695 --> 00:03:53,662
you're saying. Nobody does.
90
00:03:53,695 --> 00:03:56,654
You mean, I can
say anything to anyone,
91
00:03:56,735 --> 00:04:00,142
- and they can't understand me?
- Dog pile!
92
00:04:00,223 --> 00:04:01,854
Hey! Come on, you guys.
93
00:04:01,903 --> 00:04:04,302
I can't breathe!
94
00:04:04,383 --> 00:04:06,622
- I can't breathe!
- "And the road
95
00:04:06,655 --> 00:04:08,894
straightened for a moment,
then suddenly
96
00:04:08,943 --> 00:04:13,215
- it started to wind again."
- Damn!
97
00:04:13,279 --> 00:04:15,294
I thought it was gonna
go straight.
98
00:04:16,639 --> 00:04:17,950
Oh!
Uh, just fluffing
99
00:04:18,016 --> 00:04:19,870
- his pillows.
- Thank you.
100
00:04:19,936 --> 00:04:21,278
Read! Read! Read! Read! Shh.
101
00:04:21,343 --> 00:04:22,654
Sorry. Print is dead, yo!
102
00:04:22,703 --> 00:04:25,294
Read it right here
on this new tablet device.
103
00:04:25,375 --> 00:04:26,734
I'll take a paper.
Here you go.
104
00:04:28,320 --> 00:04:29,982
Hey! Thanks to you,
105
00:04:30,047 --> 00:04:32,862
- my dad is in a coma.
- Yo, I'm sorry, yo!
106
00:04:32,959 --> 00:04:35,039
The worst part is,
he can't read me a story.
107
00:04:35,103 --> 00:04:38,302
I guess that's what happens
when print is dead.
108
00:04:38,399 --> 00:04:40,862
Yo, dawg, we threw
the printing press away,
109
00:04:40,927 --> 00:04:43,134
but you could write
your own book with this!
110
00:04:43,199 --> 00:04:46,974
Words!
111
00:04:47,023 --> 00:04:51,410
"And on and on
the road went until...
112
00:04:51,434 --> 00:04:56,542
It kept going. It kept going..."
113
00:04:56,575 --> 00:05:00,222
Pickles!
114
00:05:00,256 --> 00:05:02,014
Make some sales
115
00:05:02,063 --> 00:05:05,774
- or your lousy butt is fired.
- Who are you
116
00:05:05,855 --> 00:05:07,983
calling a lousy butt,
you worthless little snit?!
117
00:05:08,095 --> 00:05:09,918
Boss schmoss.
118
00:05:09,983 --> 00:05:12,542
You're a piece of moss.
Boy, that felt good.
119
00:05:12,639 --> 00:05:14,399
Get this yapping dog
out of here.
120
00:05:14,463 --> 00:05:16,702
- He's disgusting!
- I hate you!
121
00:05:16,735 --> 00:05:18,574
Aah, my butt!
122
00:05:18,655 --> 00:05:22,302
- I always knew you hated him.
- Hi, Floyd.
123
00:05:22,336 --> 00:05:24,894
- Wait, you can understand me?
- You're in a dream,
124
00:05:24,975 --> 00:05:27,535
- Mr. Goodman.
- A dream?
125
00:05:27,615 --> 00:05:30,814
I must be your dream guide.
Here, let's see.
126
00:05:30,895 --> 00:05:35,215
Oh! I can do this. Whee!
127
00:05:35,295 --> 00:05:37,854
Whoa. A cat! A cat!
128
00:05:37,903 --> 00:05:41,374
I'm gonna get you!
Oh, there's cats everywhere!
129
00:05:41,503 --> 00:05:44,254
Hey, shoes!
Oh, yeah.
130
00:05:44,335 --> 00:05:47,102
Bones, bones, bones,
bones!
131
00:05:47,135 --> 00:05:49,374
- Fetch!
- I'll get that!
132
00:05:49,423 --> 00:05:51,870
There he is!
133
00:05:51,935 --> 00:05:53,118
Hey, hey!
What are you doing?
134
00:05:53,215 --> 00:05:54,894
It's off to the pound with you.
135
00:05:54,976 --> 00:05:57,582
- Death row.
- Oh, yeah.
136
00:05:57,663 --> 00:06:00,222
"If the person dies
in their dream,
137
00:06:00,255 --> 00:06:05,342
they'll die in real life, too."
Hey, look what else I can do.
138
00:06:05,439 --> 00:06:08,302
- What? Oh, no. No!
- "Down the wiggly,
139
00:06:08,416 --> 00:06:12,126
windy road he went.
Then he came to another wiggly
140
00:06:12,191 --> 00:06:17,151
part of the road and guess what?
It was winding."
141
00:06:17,215 --> 00:06:20,414
Our x-rays show that you have
several items in your rectum.
142
00:06:20,495 --> 00:06:21,855
One slinky.
143
00:06:21,904 --> 00:06:23,694
- No!
- Part of a guitar.
144
00:06:23,776 --> 00:06:24,894
One roller skate.
145
00:06:24,959 --> 00:06:26,782
Oh! I'm gonna have to get
146
00:06:26,847 --> 00:06:28,671
- all the way in there.
- No, please!
147
00:06:28,735 --> 00:06:30,974
One empty jar of Pickles.
148
00:06:31,039 --> 00:06:35,422
- And let's take lunch, everybody.
- What? Hello!
149
00:06:35,503 --> 00:06:37,822
Mr. Pickles, was that you?
150
00:06:37,855 --> 00:06:40,095
Why am I in the morgue? Shh.
151
00:06:40,223 --> 00:06:43,679
Oh. Oh, yeah, you lookin' good.
152
00:06:43,743 --> 00:06:45,662
What are you doing
with that thing? Aah!
153
00:06:45,727 --> 00:06:49,182
Get all the organs, baby.
154
00:06:49,247 --> 00:06:51,326
Then we can pay off
our college loans.
155
00:06:51,423 --> 00:06:54,062
Well, I'm working on
a patient in a coma.
156
00:06:54,143 --> 00:06:57,214
He'll be ready
for harvesting soon.
157
00:06:57,263 --> 00:07:00,702
"The... End."
158
00:07:00,735 --> 00:07:03,006
Read us another story.
159
00:07:03,071 --> 00:07:04,702
But I don't have
another book.
160
00:07:04,767 --> 00:07:07,454
- Read us a story!
- Read us a story!
161
00:07:07,503 --> 00:07:11,614
Read us a story!
Read us a story!
162
00:07:11,695 --> 00:07:13,534
Wait a minute.
I don't like this.
163
00:07:13,615 --> 00:07:16,942
Heil, Pitler!
164
00:07:17,023 --> 00:07:18,543
- Hello.
- Get in there.
165
00:07:18,623 --> 00:07:21,502
Whoa. Hey, guys!
166
00:07:21,535 --> 00:07:24,702
Uh, hi, there.
Stanley Goodman. And you are?
167
00:07:24,783 --> 00:07:27,135
About to have a party.
Get him! Hold him down.
168
00:07:27,263 --> 00:07:29,534
Get down.
My mother was a chihuahua...
169
00:07:29,583 --> 00:07:31,134
Guys!
And my father was
170
00:07:31,183 --> 00:07:34,622
- a St. Bernard.
- Hey! Whoa!
171
00:07:34,655 --> 00:07:37,374
Welcome to prison, bitch.
172
00:07:37,455 --> 00:07:40,734
Oh, no! Help!
173
00:07:42,175 --> 00:07:44,094
Would you just die already?
174
00:07:44,223 --> 00:07:47,822
Huh? Quiet!
Here. Every dog loves hot dogs.
175
00:07:52,943 --> 00:07:56,702
Oh! You want a quickie?
176
00:07:56,799 --> 00:07:59,662
You can at least take
my clothes off.
177
00:07:59,776 --> 00:08:02,095
- A bone, a shoe.
- What the...
178
00:08:02,175 --> 00:08:03,175
One cat.
179
00:08:03,263 --> 00:08:06,942
What's this?
It's buzzing? Ticking? Metallic?
180
00:08:07,007 --> 00:08:08,222
We got a bomb!
181
00:08:08,319 --> 00:08:10,942
One more hot dog
and you'll beat your record.
182
00:08:10,975 --> 00:08:12,894
Hey! We need to ejaculate
183
00:08:12,975 --> 00:08:14,782
- the hospital.
- Evacuate.
184
00:08:14,815 --> 00:08:16,174
That's what I said. Where to?
185
00:08:16,255 --> 00:08:18,174
Read us a story!
Read us a story!
186
00:08:18,223 --> 00:08:20,062
Just go to the library!
187
00:08:20,095 --> 00:08:22,734
Perfect!
Nobody goes there anymore.
188
00:08:22,816 --> 00:08:26,494
Read us a story!
Read us a story!
189
00:08:26,575 --> 00:08:30,382
- Read us a story!
- Oh, I've been waiting a long
190
00:08:30,463 --> 00:08:33,982
time for this, Mr. Goodman.
191
00:08:34,015 --> 00:08:35,822
Oh, I don't wanna
be a dog anymore.
192
00:08:35,935 --> 00:08:37,751
- You'll die in real life, too.
- I don't wanna
193
00:08:37,775 --> 00:08:39,639
- be a dog anymore.
- You'll die in real life, too.
194
00:08:39,663 --> 00:08:41,022
I don't wanna
be a dog anymore.
195
00:08:41,056 --> 00:08:44,094
- I smell hot dogs. Don't you?
- Read us a story!
196
00:08:44,175 --> 00:08:46,782
Yes, uh,
I'd like to take out a book.
197
00:08:46,816 --> 00:08:49,854
We put them all in storage.
You can check your e-mail
198
00:08:49,935 --> 00:08:53,535
- if you'd like.
- Oh, I have a book.
199
00:08:53,615 --> 00:08:55,230
Hooray!
Be quiet. Shh...
200
00:08:55,295 --> 00:08:58,735
My dad.
He used to do lots of things
201
00:08:58,815 --> 00:09:01,086
with me.
One time, he showed me what
202
00:09:01,151 --> 00:09:04,254
a turtle was.
He showed me what a turtle was.
203
00:09:04,335 --> 00:09:06,174
Please!
D-d-don't kill me, please.
204
00:09:06,223 --> 00:09:08,814
Hey,
205
00:09:08,896 --> 00:09:10,942
- that's a turtle. Huh?
- Wow,
206
00:09:10,975 --> 00:09:14,302
- so that's a turtle.
- Hey, I know you.
207
00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:16,542
Hi, dad! Hi, dad.
208
00:09:16,607 --> 00:09:19,326
Wait,
I think I'm a dad, not a dog.
209
00:09:19,391 --> 00:09:22,335
- Huh? My clothes!
- Get back here, Mr. Goodman!
210
00:09:22,399 --> 00:09:25,022
- Oh, no! Oh, no!
- Another time,
211
00:09:25,055 --> 00:09:27,183
my dad showed me
how he saved money.
212
00:09:27,263 --> 00:09:29,982
70 degrees?
I'll go broke!
213
00:09:30,016 --> 00:09:32,734
My legs! I can stand!
214
00:09:34,879 --> 00:09:36,254
And then one day,
215
00:09:36,335 --> 00:09:39,454
I walked in to wake up my dad,
and he had a lump
216
00:09:39,583 --> 00:09:42,222
in his pajama pants.
What's that, dad?
217
00:09:42,303 --> 00:09:44,862
Wow!
218
00:09:44,895 --> 00:09:46,215
No, Tommy!
Don't touch that! Wait!
219
00:09:46,255 --> 00:09:47,774
Stanley!
220
00:09:47,855 --> 00:09:50,094
- Dad!
- Welcome back, dawg.
221
00:09:50,176 --> 00:09:52,222
Dog? Dog. No.
Oh, where's grandpa?
222
00:09:52,287 --> 00:09:55,342
False alarm!
It was just an alarm clock.
223
00:09:57,663 --> 00:09:59,838
- It was just a dream.
- There's that thing again.
224
00:09:59,903 --> 00:10:01,150
No, Tommy, don't!
225
00:10:01,247 --> 00:10:02,247
Hot dog!
226
00:10:06,496 --> 00:10:08,824
You know,
it's great that you and Tommy
227
00:10:08,848 --> 00:10:11,710
got people to
appreciate books again.
228
00:10:11,775 --> 00:10:13,662
So can you read me
my book now?
229
00:10:13,695 --> 00:10:14,862
Sorry, Tommy.
Late for work.
230
00:10:14,943 --> 00:10:16,942
Mr. Pickles
should go to the pound.
231
00:10:17,023 --> 00:10:20,542
Well, I think
being a dog is a lot harder
232
00:10:20,575 --> 00:10:23,182
than some people think.
Good boy.
233
00:10:28,576 --> 00:10:31,374
Help!
16725
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