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1
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My chest hurts.
2
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- Nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh.
- Yeah, shut up, bitch.
3
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Move it, fleabag.
4
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- Hi!
- Shut up, loser.
5
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I'm not a loser...
6
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Mr. Pickles!
7
00:00:51,708 --> 00:00:53,755
Good idea, boy. This is gonna be
8
00:00:53,788 --> 00:00:57,160
- the best soap box derby ever.
- Oh.
9
00:00:57,184 --> 00:00:59,997
Dad? I'm not bringing you food
anymore.
10
00:01:00,021 --> 00:01:03,387
I can't leave my room.
Last time I took a shower,
11
00:01:03,467 --> 00:01:06,267
Mr. Pickles replaced my
soap with a human face.
12
00:01:06,347 --> 00:01:08,539
Aah! Aah! I used my gardening gloves,
13
00:01:08,636 --> 00:01:11,643
and they were filled with a human face!
14
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I opened up my book,
and out fell a human face!
15
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Mr. Pickles is evil.
Why won't anybody believe me!
16
00:01:19,835 --> 00:01:22,540
Ooh, sorry, honey. I'm late!
17
00:01:22,564 --> 00:01:23,894
Aren't you gonna have breakfast?
18
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- Some of us have jobs to get to.
- Taking care of this house is a job, too.
19
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Good one, honey.
20
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- Bye! Off to work!
- Oh!
21
00:01:30,428 --> 00:01:33,626
Not only does Miravac 2000
22
00:01:33,708 --> 00:01:36,624
come with a warranty, but it's cordless!
23
00:01:36,648 --> 00:01:38,555
We're off to check out the racecourse, mom!
24
00:01:38,587 --> 00:01:40,954
- Tommy, the mess!
- Let me get that.
25
00:01:41,020 --> 00:01:43,595
We don't want anybody to
think mom's not doing her job.
26
00:01:43,676 --> 00:01:47,963
- Huh. Maybe we do.
- Okay.
27
00:01:50,268 --> 00:01:52,315
A lot of dogs are scared by vacuums.
28
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Watch!
29
00:01:55,996 --> 00:01:59,835
I'll take it!
30
00:02:04,188 --> 00:02:06,347
- Shello, Tommy!
- Oh, hi, sheriff!
31
00:02:08,668 --> 00:02:10,347
Shwee!
32
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You'll never make it around
33
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- dead man's curve.
- Dead man's curve?
34
00:02:15,067 --> 00:02:16,826
They call it that 'cause it's a curve.
35
00:02:16,876 --> 00:02:19,260
And if you go off, you'll be dead, man.
36
00:02:19,284 --> 00:02:21,595
I'm not worried! My car's tip-top!
37
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Whee! Uh-oh!
38
00:02:23,788 --> 00:02:25,835
Oh, no!
39
00:02:33,468 --> 00:02:35,387
Whew, glad I wore a helmet.
40
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- Do another one.
- Oh, all right.
41
00:02:40,156 --> 00:02:42,107
"Goodman,
if you don't make a sale,
42
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- you're fired!"
- Goodman!
43
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Oh, boss! That was perfect.
44
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I've got something to do.
45
00:02:50,587 --> 00:02:52,667
So I want you to sit in my office today.
46
00:02:52,716 --> 00:02:55,467
And if anyone calls,
just pretend you're me.
47
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And don't screw it up or...
48
00:02:58,415 --> 00:03:01,387
I'm fired?
49
00:03:01,468 --> 00:03:04,955
Hey, Mrs. Goodman!
50
00:03:05,035 --> 00:03:07,115
- What you doing?
- Showing Stanley
51
00:03:07,196 --> 00:03:09,307
what it would be like
if I didn't have a job.
52
00:03:09,436 --> 00:03:10,955
- Food fight!
- Ooh!
53
00:03:11,036 --> 00:03:13,627
You girls are crazy.
54
00:03:13,675 --> 00:03:15,542
- Jell-o fight!
- I'm taking
55
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the vacuum to the movies! Bye!
56
00:03:18,171 --> 00:03:20,475
Egg fight!
57
00:03:20,508 --> 00:03:24,107
Chair fight!
58
00:03:25,846 --> 00:03:27,835
Look!
59
00:03:29,596 --> 00:03:31,627
Who are you?
60
00:03:31,707 --> 00:03:35,612
They call me "the kid" 'cause back then,
61
00:03:35,636 --> 00:03:41,686
I was the coolest kid in old town.
There was one dame who had my heart...
62
00:03:41,710 --> 00:03:47,035
Sally Wilton.
Oh, she had me all doll dizzy.
63
00:03:47,067 --> 00:03:49,979
But someone else had his eyes on her...
64
00:03:50,044 --> 00:03:53,499
- Donny "Skids" McGeelton.
- No!
65
00:03:53,564 --> 00:03:55,755
We decided we'd race for her heart.
66
00:03:55,836 --> 00:03:58,815
But they always said I'd combed too hard.
67
00:03:58,839 --> 00:04:01,056
And that night, they were right.
68
00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:02,747
- No!
- The kid!
69
00:04:02,796 --> 00:04:05,435
And since then,
I I've been trying to get out
70
00:04:05,515 --> 00:04:08,891
of this seat belt.
Oh, the thought of Sally
71
00:04:08,956 --> 00:04:13,227
is what's kept me alive.
Well, that and rats.
72
00:04:13,308 --> 00:04:17,059
So how'd you get down here?
73
00:04:17,487 --> 00:04:19,839
I wrecked my car before the soap box
derby race.
74
00:04:19,863 --> 00:04:21,629
Help me get my Sally back,
75
00:04:21,653 --> 00:04:23,787
and I'll help you build a new car.
76
00:04:23,868 --> 00:04:25,466
But how will you get free?
77
00:04:28,316 --> 00:04:33,161
- What the... I'm free!
- I'm lookin' for the guy
78
00:04:33,185 --> 00:04:37,627
- who's been stealin' my Wi-Fi.
- You lookin' for me?
79
00:04:37,708 --> 00:04:40,187
Pipe down!
80
00:04:40,236 --> 00:04:41,947
- You suck!
- I know!
81
00:04:42,076 --> 00:04:44,347
It really sucks! Get it?
82
00:04:52,636 --> 00:04:54,395
Hello?
This is boss.
83
00:04:54,475 --> 00:04:57,146
I'm calling with your daily
report on Mr. Goodman.
84
00:04:57,212 --> 00:05:00,955
He's not at his desk.
Can I have a jelly bean now?
85
00:05:01,020 --> 00:05:03,770
Yes,
but no more reports on Goodman, okay?
86
00:05:03,836 --> 00:05:05,403
Okay. Okay.
87
00:05:05,500 --> 00:05:06,939
Okay. Ah.
88
00:05:07,003 --> 00:05:09,707
Table fight! Wall fight!
89
00:05:09,787 --> 00:05:11,867
Ooh, ow. These things fight!
90
00:05:13,675 --> 00:05:18,474
Things sure have changed. Oh, no!
91
00:05:18,588 --> 00:05:22,843
Cover up your knees, you whore!
There's children out here.
92
00:05:22,908 --> 00:05:26,587
But Sally's house looks just the same.
93
00:05:26,668 --> 00:05:28,795
Get off of the sidewalk! Aah!
94
00:05:28,827 --> 00:05:31,706
Wow. Hey, what are you doing?
95
00:05:33,692 --> 00:05:35,259
Come in! Sally!
96
00:05:35,324 --> 00:05:37,147
What!
97
00:05:37,196 --> 00:05:40,075
- You're not the pizza man.
- The thought of you
98
00:05:40,156 --> 00:05:43,275
is all that's kept me alive for 70 years.
99
00:05:43,356 --> 00:05:45,706
He had to eat rats and drink their pee!
100
00:05:45,788 --> 00:05:49,915
Let me do this one, kid.
I swore that if I survived,
101
00:05:49,947 --> 00:05:53,067
- I'd come back and ask you to ma...
- What?
102
00:05:53,148 --> 00:05:55,227
Hey! Where's the freakin' pizza, yo?
103
00:05:55,307 --> 00:05:57,226
- Hey, playa.
- Skids?
104
00:05:57,308 --> 00:05:59,194
The kid?! We thought you were dead.
105
00:05:59,228 --> 00:06:02,026
The kid?! You lookin' gross!
106
00:06:02,108 --> 00:06:05,179
- You two are married?
- Nah, we just
107
00:06:05,276 --> 00:06:07,355
- friends with benefits, kid.
- Spank it, daddy.
108
00:06:07,420 --> 00:06:08,442
Ew. Wha?!
109
00:06:08,508 --> 00:06:10,155
Work it, twerk it, drop it, lock it.
110
00:06:10,236 --> 00:06:12,324
You know I love it when you
wobble-do-wobble that booty
111
00:06:12,348 --> 00:06:15,387
- on me, you little cluck-cluck.
- What is your mouth doing?
112
00:06:15,467 --> 00:06:18,394
I'm tic-tac-toein' that ho,
know what I mean?
113
00:06:18,428 --> 00:06:20,666
- 'Sup?
- What does "'sup" mean?
114
00:06:20,716 --> 00:06:22,636
It means "what's poppin'?"
Like, "how you doin'?"
115
00:06:22,668 --> 00:06:25,972
- Well, not good.
- I wasn't really asking, playboy.
116
00:06:25,996 --> 00:06:27,515
Then why did you ask me?
117
00:06:27,547 --> 00:06:29,604
I think you done slid down a
mountain full of razor blades,
118
00:06:29,628 --> 00:06:32,155
climbed a building butt naked,
and tongue kissed a lizard
119
00:06:32,187 --> 00:06:34,635
- 'cause you wack, son!
- Yeah, you wack.
120
00:06:36,268 --> 00:06:40,826
Oh, I'm not cool anymore.
121
00:06:40,908 --> 00:06:44,155
- I'm all washed up.
- Wait! That's it!
122
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If we get you all washed up,
we could go back and try again.
123
00:07:04,588 --> 00:07:08,622
Sink fight!
124
00:07:08,646 --> 00:07:10,139
- Oh! Linda!
- Oh.
125
00:07:10,204 --> 00:07:12,187
I just wanted Stanley to see
126
00:07:12,252 --> 00:07:13,995
what it's like if I don't do my job.
127
00:07:14,075 --> 00:07:19,067
- But I can't fix this myself.
- Oh! I know how to fix it.
128
00:07:19,131 --> 00:07:21,675
- Hey, baby!
- Uh...
129
00:07:21,755 --> 00:07:25,787
- Hey, babies. Whoa, yeah!
- Oh, God, no.
130
00:07:25,868 --> 00:07:28,027
Please stop.
131
00:07:36,348 --> 00:07:38,875
Now let's get your Sally back so we can
132
00:07:38,956 --> 00:07:42,655
- build my soapbox car.
- Let's go, daddy-o!
133
00:07:44,976 --> 00:07:46,843
- Watch out!
- Oh.
134
00:07:46,908 --> 00:07:48,955
Aah, whee!
135
00:07:50,389 --> 00:07:51,707
I'm back!
136
00:07:51,788 --> 00:07:55,275
The kid is back! Oh!
137
00:07:57,676 --> 00:08:00,187
- Are we taking a nap now?
- Tommy?
138
00:08:00,284 --> 00:08:03,115
- What are you doing?
- What's Linda doing?
139
00:08:03,196 --> 00:08:06,715
- Uh, I don't know.
- Please, stop.
140
00:08:06,779 --> 00:08:08,763
We'll do anything.
141
00:08:08,860 --> 00:08:10,243
This is the boss.
142
00:08:10,267 --> 00:08:13,548
Just checking
in on you. I love you.
143
00:08:13,572 --> 00:08:17,666
- I love you, too.
- You never say "I love you."
144
00:08:17,690 --> 00:08:19,851
- Who is this?
- I...
145
00:08:19,875 --> 00:08:23,099
You better find him
before I do!
146
00:08:23,195 --> 00:08:25,466
Huh? Uh, Floyd?
Uh, tell me where I'd be
147
00:08:25,532 --> 00:08:29,555
if I wasn't in my office.
148
00:08:34,588 --> 00:08:35,707
Boss!
149
00:08:35,788 --> 00:08:37,147
- Goodman!
- You gotta...
150
00:08:37,212 --> 00:08:38,587
You gotta get out of here.
151
00:08:38,652 --> 00:08:40,507
I'm free for the first time in months!
152
00:08:40,572 --> 00:08:43,451
- I said no games!
- No, no!
153
00:08:43,516 --> 00:08:45,515
- And who's this?!
- Hi.
154
00:08:45,596 --> 00:08:47,227
I said stop playing that game!
155
00:08:47,324 --> 00:08:49,787
No! I wanna play the game! Aah!
156
00:08:53,496 --> 00:08:56,900
You looking for me?
157
00:09:01,844 --> 00:09:04,640
But he was gonna help me build
a new soapbox car.
158
00:09:04,664 --> 00:09:06,761
He's just going
to rest for a while.
159
00:09:06,785 --> 00:09:08,484
Yeah, 'cause he's dead.
160
00:09:08,508 --> 00:09:09,508
- Help me!
- Huh?
161
00:09:09,548 --> 00:09:11,595
- Take me to the hospital.
- Get out of there!
162
00:09:11,676 --> 00:09:12,987
- Beverly?
- Stanley?
163
00:09:15,291 --> 00:09:17,018
Tommy!
164
00:09:23,868 --> 00:09:26,363
Help!
165
00:09:26,459 --> 00:09:28,923
I'm going too fast!
166
00:09:28,987 --> 00:09:31,067
Gotcha! Huh?
167
00:09:33,404 --> 00:09:36,555
- Hey!
- Shand they're off!
168
00:09:40,988 --> 00:09:44,075
Hi! Bye! Uh-oh.
169
00:09:44,156 --> 00:09:46,187
I'll never make it!
170
00:09:46,267 --> 00:09:47,947
Mr. Pickles? Whoa!
171
00:09:48,027 --> 00:09:50,747
Oh, whoa! Yay!
172
00:09:52,827 --> 00:09:54,587
Looks like this belongs to you.
173
00:09:54,668 --> 00:09:57,467
And this belongs to me! I...
174
00:09:57,596 --> 00:09:59,627
- love you.
- Thanks.
175
00:09:59,707 --> 00:10:01,275
- Tommy!
- Are you okay?
176
00:10:01,308 --> 00:10:02,907
I'm even better than okay!
177
00:10:02,987 --> 00:10:06,315
I'm good... boy, Mr. Pickles.
178
00:10:07,799 --> 00:10:09,262
I'm back!
179
00:10:09,286 --> 00:10:12,827
Aah! Please, stop.
180
00:10:12,891 --> 00:10:14,435
- We did what you asked!
- Hey! Get back here!
181
00:10:14,459 --> 00:10:16,847
- Let's get out of here!
- Ohh.
182
00:10:17,239 --> 00:10:19,771
Oh, looks like you missed a spot.
183
00:10:19,836 --> 00:10:21,659
- Oh, that's it!
- Uh-oh.
184
00:10:21,724 --> 00:10:25,051
Mr. Pickles stole my vacuum.
185
00:10:25,115 --> 00:10:29,067
Where's my face?
186
00:10:44,188 --> 00:10:46,131
- Hi, Will.
- Hi Dave.
13128
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