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1
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How.
2
00:00:05,600 --> 00:00:07,919
White man come with iron buffalo.
3
00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:10,799
I know what a bulldozer is.
You can't build here.
4
00:00:10,880 --> 00:00:14,079
This land is on top of an
ancient indian burial ground.
5
00:00:14,103 --> 00:00:15,759
Well,
that's why we're gonna dig this up,
6
00:00:15,840 --> 00:00:18,527
build condos,
then put the ancient indian burial ground
7
00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:21,507
back on the roof.
And to make it up to you, here's
8
00:00:21,531 --> 00:00:23,297
two tickets to a baseball game, okay?
9
00:00:23,321 --> 00:00:26,189
- But there are four of us.
- Well, I guess you'll have to scalp some.
10
00:00:27,440 --> 00:00:30,031
Let's see...
put the jacuzzis right here and...
11
00:00:32,352 --> 00:00:34,813
Mr. Pickles!
12
00:00:52,897 --> 00:00:54,527
Good boy!
13
00:00:56,058 --> 00:01:00,159
Oh, boy! My first baseball game!
Maybe I can catch a ball.
14
00:01:00,192 --> 00:01:02,239
Honey,
let me drop you off and take the truck.
15
00:01:02,271 --> 00:01:04,159
But whenever you borrow my truck,
it comes
16
00:01:04,191 --> 00:01:05,590
back with a new dent.
17
00:01:05,614 --> 00:01:07,471
You won't have to pay for parking.
18
00:01:07,552 --> 00:01:10,150
Aren't you excited, Mr. Pickles?
19
00:01:10,771 --> 00:01:12,319
Oh, Mr. Pickles!
20
00:01:12,352 --> 00:01:14,319
You can't bring that dog to the game.
21
00:01:14,400 --> 00:01:16,031
He's been cutting people's heads off.
22
00:01:16,112 --> 00:01:18,591
- I've seen him do it.
- Mr. Pickles!
23
00:01:18,672 --> 00:01:21,071
You're having a hard time with this water.
24
00:01:25,311 --> 00:01:27,582
- Morning, Goodmans!
- Morning!
25
00:01:27,648 --> 00:01:29,823
Mr. Bojenkins is teaching me
26
00:01:29,888 --> 00:01:31,775
how to crip-walk.
27
00:01:31,840 --> 00:01:33,727
- Sweet!
- Remember, now... heel, toe,
28
00:01:33,792 --> 00:01:35,039
- heel, toe.
- Like this?
29
00:01:35,104 --> 00:01:37,279
- Nope.
- Sheriff, Mr. Pickles
30
00:01:37,360 --> 00:01:39,519
is cutting people's heads off.
31
00:01:39,584 --> 00:01:43,039
Remember the time he told us
Mr. Pickles forced him to wear
32
00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:45,871
that dead possum like a diaper?
33
00:01:48,432 --> 00:01:50,831
Whoa! Look at all the indians!
34
00:01:50,912 --> 00:01:52,511
Bye, mom!
35
00:01:52,592 --> 00:01:54,431
- Bye, dear.
- Have fun at the game.
36
00:01:54,512 --> 00:01:56,669
Remember, no new
dents on my truck!
37
00:01:56,693 --> 00:02:01,471
Today, the old town
featherheads take on the southville worms!
38
00:02:01,552 --> 00:02:04,159
'Course, some folks want the
featherheads name to change,
39
00:02:04,192 --> 00:02:07,119
calling it racist. But
they've been unsuccessful,
40
00:02:07,200 --> 00:02:10,751
just like my son, who dropped
out of college to become a mime.
41
00:02:10,832 --> 00:02:13,711
Anyhoo, today,
we've got a special guest in the crowd...
42
00:02:13,792 --> 00:02:15,951
Miss Fulton, the oldest person in old town.
43
00:02:16,032 --> 00:02:19,711
She's 119 years young,
and we are honored to have her here.
44
00:02:19,760 --> 00:02:21,919
- You can eat my ass!
- Well, it looks like
45
00:02:21,951 --> 00:02:24,399
these are our seats... foul-ball territory.
46
00:02:24,480 --> 00:02:26,111
Maybe I can catch a foul ball!
47
00:02:26,192 --> 00:02:27,713
I'll show you how to catch some balls!
48
00:02:27,759 --> 00:02:29,443
Hey! Ho!
49
00:02:31,072 --> 00:02:33,151
Oh. Excuse me.
50
00:02:33,232 --> 00:02:35,231
Traffic. Well, here we go.
51
00:02:35,312 --> 00:02:37,358
Oh, my goodness!
52
00:02:37,440 --> 00:02:42,058
- I cut your legs off!
- Well, don't give yourself so much credit.
53
00:02:42,912 --> 00:02:47,471
I had my legs cut off so I
could sneak booze into places.
54
00:02:47,552 --> 00:02:52,031
O-one for whiskey, one for soda. Drink?
55
00:02:52,096 --> 00:02:56,031
- Um, no, thanks.
- I'm having a tailgate party.
56
00:02:56,080 --> 00:02:59,164
- Wanna come?
- I'm not really a baseball fan.
57
00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:02,751
Well,
I guess I could go for a little while.
58
00:03:02,832 --> 00:03:04,223
Come on!
59
00:03:05,760 --> 00:03:09,064
- Kiss cam!
- You're on the kiss cam, buddy!
60
00:03:09,088 --> 00:03:09,839
The what?
61
00:03:09,920 --> 00:03:10,920
- The kiss cam.
- Kiss me!
62
00:03:11,040 --> 00:03:12,831
Sorry, everybody.
We're not together.
63
00:03:12,879 --> 00:03:14,399
Screw you, jerk!
64
00:03:14,432 --> 00:03:16,239
What, do you hate America?
65
00:03:16,320 --> 00:03:18,239
Boo! This is fun!
66
00:03:18,272 --> 00:03:19,631
Yeah, uh, you know what?
67
00:03:19,712 --> 00:03:21,199
Maybe I'll go grab us some snacks.
68
00:03:21,280 --> 00:03:23,279
And I'll stay here and catch a foul ball.
69
00:03:23,360 --> 00:03:25,791
Okay, son. Hot dogs!
70
00:03:29,312 --> 00:03:33,439
- No! I won't let you do it!
- Why? Because we're gay?
71
00:03:33,472 --> 00:03:35,679
What?!
That dog was gonna cut your head off.
72
00:03:35,712 --> 00:03:37,151
Oh, it's fake.
73
00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:39,391
- What are you, crazy?!
- Boo!
74
00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:42,031
Peanuts! Get your peanuts! And cocaine.
75
00:03:42,112 --> 00:03:44,871
- Peanuts!
- It's Jim "Fouler" Johnson at the plate.
76
00:03:44,895 --> 00:03:46,559
He's never hit a fair ball in
77
00:03:46,624 --> 00:03:49,407
his 22-year career.
Fouler, of course, the all-time
78
00:03:49,504 --> 00:03:53,055
foul-ball leader,
closing in on 30,000 foul balls, giving new
79
00:03:53,120 --> 00:03:56,511
meaning to the word "failure."
And another failure, my son, who
80
00:03:56,592 --> 00:03:58,479
turned to selling his body for alcohol.
81
00:03:58,592 --> 00:04:00,719
- And here's the pitch!
- I hope I catch one soon.
82
00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:02,239
My arm sure is tired.
83
00:04:02,272 --> 00:04:03,711
You can do it, Tommy.
84
00:04:03,759 --> 00:04:06,111
Just a little bump.
85
00:04:06,192 --> 00:04:08,031
Curving foul!
86
00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:12,351
- Aw, darn it!
- Hey! What are you, blind?
87
00:04:12,432 --> 00:04:14,302
- I'm blind!
- Maybe I'll catch the next one.
88
00:04:14,326 --> 00:04:18,158
That was foul ball 29,999 for Fouler.
89
00:04:18,240 --> 00:04:20,799
The next one could fetch a hefty
90
00:04:20,864 --> 00:04:24,799
sum with collectors.
91
00:04:28,053 --> 00:04:30,031
- High fly ball!
- It's coming this way!
92
00:04:30,112 --> 00:04:31,656
- Out of my way!
- Where's the ball, boy?
93
00:04:31,680 --> 00:04:34,689
Where's the ball, boy?
94
00:04:36,103 --> 00:04:37,415
- Foul!
- I did it.
95
00:04:37,439 --> 00:04:40,503
That ball could be worth a lot of money.
96
00:04:40,527 --> 00:04:42,142
That ugly kid has the ball.
97
00:04:42,166 --> 00:04:43,363
- Cool, huh?
- Get him!
98
00:04:44,809 --> 00:04:46,569
You want him?! You go through me!
99
00:04:46,666 --> 00:04:48,697
Kid, come with me!
100
00:04:48,778 --> 00:04:50,457
- You'll be safe!
- Where did he go?!
101
00:04:50,538 --> 00:04:53,289
- Tommy? Tommy?!
- Has anybody seen my dog?
102
00:04:58,170 --> 00:05:02,217
And that's how I ended
up sleeping with a mime.
103
00:05:02,249 --> 00:05:04,008
Just kidding... maybe. Drink?
104
00:05:04,058 --> 00:05:06,777
Uh, no, thanks.
It is quiet over here.
105
00:05:06,858 --> 00:05:10,457
Well, nobody wants to
tailgate with a guy who's been
106
00:05:10,537 --> 00:05:14,589
- drinking all by himself.
- Well... Maybe just a sip.
107
00:05:16,137 --> 00:05:18,089
- Hey! Y'all partying?
- Can we use your grill?
108
00:05:18,138 --> 00:05:20,409
- Well, sure you can use grill.
- Bottoms up.
109
00:05:20,489 --> 00:05:21,489
Hi!
110
00:05:23,930 --> 00:05:25,769
Kiss cam!
111
00:05:25,850 --> 00:05:27,817
Oh, my God. Kiss my wife! Kiss my wife!
112
00:05:27,898 --> 00:05:29,641
- Sorry... no.
- What?
113
00:05:29,706 --> 00:05:32,329
- She not good enough for you?
- No, I just...
114
00:05:32,378 --> 00:05:34,888
Tommy?! Tommy?!
115
00:05:34,970 --> 00:05:36,856
That's his glove!
116
00:05:36,938 --> 00:05:39,497
Show me where he is.
I can't believe I'm following you.
117
00:05:39,529 --> 00:05:41,808
But for once, maybe you are
being a good boy.
118
00:05:42,650 --> 00:05:44,553
He's in here? Tommy's not in...
119
00:05:44,618 --> 00:05:47,816
Hey! Mr. Pickles!
120
00:05:47,850 --> 00:05:51,017
Oh, no!
121
00:05:56,876 --> 00:06:00,329
- That's a very special ball you have.
- I'm gonna get it autographed.
122
00:06:00,410 --> 00:06:02,216
As you can see, I collect
123
00:06:02,250 --> 00:06:05,656
very valuable collectibles.
Perhaps I could take care of
124
00:06:05,738 --> 00:06:08,297
- that ball for you.
- I got some collextibles, too, baby.
125
00:06:08,329 --> 00:06:09,329
Wanna trade?
126
00:06:09,370 --> 00:06:11,406
How 'bout this antique baseball hat?
127
00:06:11,430 --> 00:06:12,503
That's a jockstrap!
128
00:06:12,527 --> 00:06:13,906
- Ooh! What's this one do?
- Put that back!
129
00:06:13,930 --> 00:06:15,291
Oh! What's that? Don't touch that!
130
00:06:15,370 --> 00:06:17,928
- Ooh! What's that?
- Hey! Where'd that boy go?!
131
00:06:17,978 --> 00:06:19,817
Nice doing business with ya!
132
00:06:20,542 --> 00:06:22,857
Cocaine! Get your cocaine!
133
00:06:26,194 --> 00:06:28,169
Hello? Anyone here?
134
00:06:28,218 --> 00:06:31,395
You're Jim "Fouler" Johnson!
135
00:06:31,419 --> 00:06:36,809
Yup... biggest failure in baseball history.
But I'm moving on.
136
00:06:36,858 --> 00:06:39,769
But before you go,
I wanted to get you to sign...
137
00:06:39,850 --> 00:06:41,449
- Whatever!
- But I...
138
00:06:41,529 --> 00:06:43,609
- I said, "shut up!"
- No, you didn't!
139
00:06:43,690 --> 00:06:47,369
So you shut up!
Anyway, you hit this ball right
140
00:06:47,450 --> 00:06:49,666
to me, and it's the best thing
that's ever happened to me.
141
00:06:49,690 --> 00:06:53,369
And I know it's a special ball,
so I thought you should have it.
142
00:06:53,449 --> 00:06:56,009
That's the best thing anybody has ever...
143
00:06:56,090 --> 00:06:57,288
Catch! Oww!
144
00:06:57,338 --> 00:06:58,808
Hey!
145
00:06:58,890 --> 00:07:01,017
- Where are you going?
- Help! Tommy!
146
00:07:01,098 --> 00:07:05,449
- Ohhh. I'm so hot in here.
- Take it off!
147
00:07:05,529 --> 00:07:07,177
Take it off! Take it off!
148
00:07:07,210 --> 00:07:11,848
Okay!
149
00:07:11,930 --> 00:07:15,049
- There you are!
- It's a great party.
150
00:07:15,129 --> 00:07:17,369
- But nobody likes me.
- Hey!
151
00:07:17,449 --> 00:07:19,049
Meet Hank.
152
00:07:19,130 --> 00:07:22,089
He cut off his legs so he can
sneak booze wherever he wants.
153
00:07:22,138 --> 00:07:24,873
Cool! I use my bra to smuggle food.
154
00:07:24,937 --> 00:07:27,177
Drink? Sandwich? Quesadilia?
155
00:07:27,242 --> 00:07:29,576
Oh, wow, you got a lot of stuff in there.
156
00:07:29,610 --> 00:07:31,529
- Clam chowder?
- Uh-huh!
157
00:07:31,657 --> 00:07:35,209
Tommy,
all I've ever hit was foul balls,
158
00:07:35,258 --> 00:07:37,608
and I thought of myself as a failure.
159
00:07:37,690 --> 00:07:42,384
But you made me realize these
foul balls mean something to somebody.
160
00:07:42,408 --> 00:07:43,408
Wow! Thanks!
161
00:07:43,450 --> 00:07:47,897
So I'm gonna hit the best
foul ball anybody's ever seen!
162
00:07:47,977 --> 00:07:49,609
I believe in you, Mr. Fouler.
163
00:07:49,689 --> 00:07:50,857
My ball!
164
00:07:50,890 --> 00:07:52,697
My ball!
165
00:07:52,810 --> 00:07:54,569
It's okay, boy.
The game's almost over.
166
00:07:54,650 --> 00:07:56,329
Come on!
167
00:07:56,409 --> 00:08:00,296
Ah, finally.
What?! $25 for a soda?!
168
00:08:00,330 --> 00:08:02,776
Then you can drink the soda
and fill it with free ketchup,
169
00:08:02,858 --> 00:08:05,289
- then drink the ketchup.
- Floyd.
170
00:08:05,418 --> 00:08:07,528
Well, it's, uh,
nice to see you outside the office.
171
00:08:07,610 --> 00:08:09,257
- Boss is here, too.
- Huh?
172
00:08:09,289 --> 00:08:10,810
Goodman, you're on the kiss cam, okay?
173
00:08:10,857 --> 00:08:12,857
- Kiss cam!
- Oh, come on!
174
00:08:12,937 --> 00:08:14,857
Kiss me, Mr. Goodman.
175
00:08:14,890 --> 00:08:16,249
Oh, no!
176
00:08:16,330 --> 00:08:18,409
- Uh, pardon me. Excuse me.
- Over here, dad!
177
00:08:18,489 --> 00:08:19,906
- What took you so long?!
- Gimme that!
178
00:08:19,930 --> 00:08:21,577
What? I was just...
179
00:08:21,658 --> 00:08:25,385
Still tied at 0-0...
also the number of times my wife has
180
00:08:25,450 --> 00:08:28,265
told me she loves me.
And that's strike two!
181
00:08:28,330 --> 00:08:31,609
Stay grounded, grandpa.
182
00:08:31,690 --> 00:08:33,577
You're just hallucinating from the steam.
183
00:08:33,641 --> 00:08:38,969
It's not real. Oh-ho! It's not real!
184
00:08:39,049 --> 00:08:41,576
It's not real! Aah!
185
00:08:41,610 --> 00:08:43,897
I-it is real! Agh!
186
00:08:43,978 --> 00:08:46,888
And Fouler back at the plate.
187
00:08:46,937 --> 00:08:50,168
- This one's going foul, boys.
- Looks like he's predicting
188
00:08:50,250 --> 00:08:52,537
he'll hit this foul,
which doesn't make sense.
189
00:08:52,618 --> 00:08:55,209
- Yay!
- But neither does BMI.
190
00:08:55,290 --> 00:08:59,368
Please deal with reality.
And here's the pitch!
191
00:08:59,450 --> 00:09:02,088
That ball doesn't look
like it's going foul.
192
00:09:02,218 --> 00:09:04,489
Huh?! That ball is... a home run!
193
00:09:04,569 --> 00:09:05,956
- Agghh!
- Oh, no!
194
00:09:05,980 --> 00:09:09,497
- Hey! She's drowning!
- Kiss cam!
195
00:09:09,577 --> 00:09:11,336
Huh?! No, no, no, no!
196
00:09:11,402 --> 00:09:13,689
And Jim "Fouler"
Johnson winning the ballgame!
197
00:09:13,769 --> 00:09:16,457
Sadly,
he'll go down in history as a murderer.
198
00:09:16,538 --> 00:09:20,133
- And we have a streaker, folks!
- Is trying to cut my head off!
199
00:09:20,157 --> 00:09:21,288
You're under arrest!
200
00:09:21,370 --> 00:09:23,368
That is one crazy, old naked man!
201
00:09:23,417 --> 00:09:27,350
That grandpa sure is crazy.
But sheriff actually got some good moves.
202
00:09:27,374 --> 00:09:28,857
Zippity-zoooooo!
203
00:09:28,969 --> 00:09:31,657
And that's the ballgame, folks!
204
00:09:31,738 --> 00:09:34,936
- Well, thanks for everything.
- Baseball!
205
00:09:35,018 --> 00:09:36,808
You're disgusting. Let's go, baby.
206
00:09:36,857 --> 00:09:38,297
- Okay. Bye.
- Beverly?
207
00:09:38,410 --> 00:09:39,688
You smell like medicine.
208
00:09:39,785 --> 00:09:41,656
But at least I didn't dent the truck.
209
00:09:41,738 --> 00:09:43,337
Gimme a kiss! Gimme a kiss!
210
00:09:43,369 --> 00:09:44,936
Kiss?! No!
211
00:09:45,018 --> 00:09:47,449
- Mom, are you okay?
- Come on, Tommy.
212
00:09:47,530 --> 00:09:49,210
Let's get her to the shop... I mean, home.
213
00:09:49,258 --> 00:09:51,781
- Where's Mr. Pickles?
- He'll find his way home.
214
00:09:51,805 --> 00:09:53,609
He always does.
215
00:09:53,690 --> 00:09:57,970
- Mm. Nice costume.
- Stupid white people and their games.
216
00:09:57,994 --> 00:10:00,701
Hey-a, what's this over here?
217
00:10:02,034 --> 00:10:04,329
Breaking news! Native Americans buy the
218
00:10:04,378 --> 00:10:06,697
old town featherheads.
Rename the team "old town
219
00:10:06,730 --> 00:10:09,977
stupid white people"! Ay, what up, dog?!
220
00:10:10,057 --> 00:10:12,297
Hot dogs! Get your hot dogs, here!
221
00:10:12,329 --> 00:10:15,129
Wow! Peanuts, too?
222
00:10:15,209 --> 00:10:17,642
Hey! It's Jim "Fouler" Johnson's foul ball!
223
00:10:17,666 --> 00:10:19,689
- Baseball!
- Yes, just be quiet, please.
224
00:10:19,818 --> 00:10:22,297
Good boy, Mr. Pickles.
16785
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