All language subtitles for Hacks.(2021).S02E03.Trust.the.Process.1080p.10bit.BluRay.AAC5.1.HEVC-Vyndros

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,045 --> 00:00:10,614 - Sorry, what-- what did you say? 2 00:00:11,615 --> 00:00:14,952 - I didn't say anything. - Oh, thought you did. 3 00:00:17,054 --> 00:00:18,522 So what...what's up? 4 00:00:18,589 --> 00:00:19,790 - Is this a two-bedroom? 5 00:00:19,890 --> 00:00:21,258 'Cause I can list it as a two-bedroom 6 00:00:21,358 --> 00:00:23,126 if there's a closet in the storage area. 7 00:00:23,227 --> 00:00:25,395 - Is that my condo? - For now. 8 00:00:25,462 --> 00:00:27,698 Depends on how good your lawyer is. 9 00:00:27,764 --> 00:00:29,032 I can't really afford one. 10 00:00:29,099 --> 00:00:30,901 My best option's Jimmy's cousin 11 00:00:30,968 --> 00:00:32,603 who works in environmental law 12 00:00:32,703 --> 00:00:34,638 and said she'd help me if I get coffee with her son 13 00:00:34,738 --> 00:00:39,042 who wants to "get into comedy," which... 14 00:00:39,109 --> 00:00:41,111 is worth--is worth it. 15 00:00:41,211 --> 00:00:42,446 [bus horn honks] 16 00:00:42,546 --> 00:00:45,649 Ah, there she is. 17 00:00:49,720 --> 00:00:51,588 Wow. 18 00:00:51,655 --> 00:00:53,056 Gorgeous. 19 00:00:53,123 --> 00:00:55,492 - Hi, Deborah. I am so sorry that we are late. 20 00:00:55,592 --> 00:00:57,995 We had to stop at an outlet mall because someone... 21 00:00:58,095 --> 00:01:00,330 uh, thought that you could sleep on jersey sheets. 22 00:01:00,430 --> 00:01:01,898 - You must be the tour manager. 23 00:01:01,965 --> 00:01:04,167 - Yep. Name's Alice. Everybody calls me "Weed." 24 00:01:04,268 --> 00:01:06,270 I know what you're thinking, but I don't touch the stuff. 25 00:01:06,336 --> 00:01:08,171 That's a nickname Pete Wentz gave me. 26 00:01:08,272 --> 00:01:12,109 And once Pete gives you a nickname, it...it sticks. 27 00:01:12,175 --> 00:01:13,810 [laughing] 28 00:01:13,910 --> 00:01:15,279 - I don't know, it sounds like it sticks 29 00:01:15,345 --> 00:01:16,613 'cause that's how you introduce yourself. 30 00:01:16,680 --> 00:01:18,181 You security? 31 00:01:18,282 --> 00:01:21,518 - No, this is Ava, the defendant. 32 00:01:21,618 --> 00:01:22,853 Oh, she's suing me. 33 00:01:22,953 --> 00:01:24,521 - I think as a bit. - It's not a bit. 34 00:01:24,621 --> 00:01:26,657 - Not my business. Number one rule: 35 00:01:26,757 --> 00:01:28,325 Weed stays outta the drama. 36 00:01:28,425 --> 00:01:31,361 All right, we're supposed to be on the road 0700 hours. 37 00:01:31,461 --> 00:01:32,996 We're already 30 behind schedule, 38 00:01:33,096 --> 00:01:35,098 but I know Phil's gonna make that up for us. 39 00:01:35,165 --> 00:01:36,667 Best driver in the biz. 40 00:01:36,767 --> 00:01:39,202 And Danny here's gonna get your car back to Vegas. 41 00:01:39,303 --> 00:01:41,772 [wheezing] 42 00:01:41,838 --> 00:01:43,473 You'll sit on a towel? 43 00:01:43,540 --> 00:01:45,042 Yes, ma'am. 44 00:01:45,942 --> 00:01:48,211 - Load it up! - Jesus. 45 00:01:48,312 --> 00:01:50,947 [man continues wheezing] 46 00:01:51,014 --> 00:01:54,618 [classical piano music] 47 00:01:54,685 --> 00:01:57,020 Here we are, huh? 48 00:01:57,120 --> 00:01:58,322 - [laughs] - Oh! 49 00:01:58,388 --> 00:02:00,691 Welcome to paradise. 50 00:02:00,791 --> 00:02:02,225 Very nice... 51 00:02:02,326 --> 00:02:04,861 - Pete and I used to play dice...right here. 52 00:02:04,961 --> 00:02:06,997 You know him? Now, he's fucking funny. 53 00:02:07,064 --> 00:02:08,999 - Woman's obsessed with Pete Wentz. 54 00:02:09,066 --> 00:02:10,567 - The customizations went great, 55 00:02:10,667 --> 00:02:12,402 and we got the soda machine. 56 00:02:12,502 --> 00:02:15,539 - Oh, Damien, you did good. - Yep. Got a lotta snacks. 57 00:02:15,639 --> 00:02:18,709 - We got tons of booze! - Oh, that's awesome, 58 00:02:18,809 --> 00:02:20,911 but actually I won't be having any of that stuff. 59 00:02:21,011 --> 00:02:23,580 I'm doing no drugs, alcohol, junk food, 60 00:02:23,680 --> 00:02:26,016 screen time-- trying to be good, you know, 61 00:02:26,083 --> 00:02:29,019 make a big change in my life, so... 62 00:02:29,086 --> 00:02:31,154 - Yeah. I don't know what you were like before, 63 00:02:31,221 --> 00:02:34,424 so that's not really gonna...register for me. 64 00:02:34,524 --> 00:02:35,892 Here's the pisser. 65 00:02:35,992 --> 00:02:37,594 Oh, which reminds me 66 00:02:37,694 --> 00:02:39,763 the number one rule on the bus. 67 00:02:39,863 --> 00:02:41,264 No number two. 68 00:02:41,365 --> 00:02:43,100 - I don't know. I heard the number one rule is 69 00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:45,202 "Weed doesn't get involved in the drama." 70 00:02:45,268 --> 00:02:46,870 Oh, there you go. 71 00:02:46,937 --> 00:02:48,772 Say it louder for the folks up front. 72 00:02:48,872 --> 00:02:51,174 Here's your bunk, kid. 73 00:02:51,241 --> 00:02:53,710 Oh, uh... 74 00:02:53,777 --> 00:02:55,445 - Sorry, this is where I sleep? - Yeah. 75 00:02:55,545 --> 00:02:58,281 - It's, uh, it's tight. Less of a bed. 76 00:02:58,382 --> 00:02:59,883 More of a sliver. 77 00:02:59,950 --> 00:03:01,551 - You don't sleep on your side, do you? 78 00:03:01,618 --> 00:03:03,620 'Cause that's probably not gonna work dimension wise. 79 00:03:03,720 --> 00:03:06,056 It's not the Ramada, but you got your privacy. 80 00:03:06,123 --> 00:03:08,792 - Sorry, um, I wanna be a team player here, 81 00:03:08,892 --> 00:03:10,861 but, I mean, why is it so small-- 82 00:03:10,927 --> 00:03:12,529 because of this tanning bed? 83 00:03:12,596 --> 00:03:13,964 It's not a tanning bed. 84 00:03:14,064 --> 00:03:17,267 That's my regenerative LED light therapy bed. 85 00:03:17,367 --> 00:03:18,435 [machine hums] 86 00:03:18,535 --> 00:03:20,771 - Okay. And where do you sleep? 87 00:03:20,871 --> 00:03:22,372 - Me, I'm up in the passenger seat. 88 00:03:22,439 --> 00:03:24,241 I'm an upright sleeper. 89 00:03:24,307 --> 00:03:25,642 - Isn't that uncomfortable? - No way. 90 00:03:25,742 --> 00:03:27,077 After 30 years on the road, 91 00:03:27,144 --> 00:03:28,712 that's the only way I can sleep. 92 00:03:28,779 --> 00:03:30,881 At home, the only thing you'll find in my bedroom 93 00:03:30,947 --> 00:03:32,549 is a La-Z-Boy. 94 00:03:32,616 --> 00:03:33,984 I'm gonna outlive all of you. 95 00:03:34,084 --> 00:03:35,452 Horizontal sleeping is terrible for you. 96 00:03:35,552 --> 00:03:38,121 - Blood pools up--it's poisonous. - Huh. 97 00:03:38,221 --> 00:03:39,823 Interesting that's not more widely known. 98 00:03:39,923 --> 00:03:42,325 - Yeah, well, that's the mattress industry for you. 99 00:03:42,426 --> 00:03:44,561 You see, they're stuffing beds into boxes now, 100 00:03:44,628 --> 00:03:46,797 sending them through the mail? 101 00:03:46,897 --> 00:03:48,298 What's that about? 102 00:03:48,832 --> 00:03:50,667 - Think it's just about people getting beds, 103 00:03:50,767 --> 00:03:53,470 but, hey, is there a place I can store my stuff? 104 00:03:53,570 --> 00:03:55,071 Yeah, you got a hook. 105 00:03:55,138 --> 00:03:56,807 Right there. 106 00:03:58,408 --> 00:04:00,944 - A hook? - Here's your room, Deb. 107 00:04:02,112 --> 00:04:03,980 - [laughs] - Holy shit! 108 00:04:04,080 --> 00:04:06,683 Yes, very nice. 109 00:04:06,783 --> 00:04:09,519 Much better master bedroom than the last time 110 00:04:09,619 --> 00:04:11,755 I was on one of these things. 111 00:04:11,822 --> 00:04:13,323 Oh, um, you actually 112 00:04:13,423 --> 00:04:15,425 shouldn't say "master bedroom" anymore 113 00:04:15,492 --> 00:04:17,461 'cause the term is rooted in slavery. 114 00:04:17,527 --> 00:04:19,963 Not your problem to solve. 115 00:04:20,030 --> 00:04:22,165 Lunch 1300 hours! 116 00:04:22,265 --> 00:04:25,869 [funky music plays] 117 00:04:25,969 --> 00:04:27,204 Let's go Phil! 118 00:04:27,304 --> 00:04:31,708 ♪ ♪ 119 00:04:31,808 --> 00:04:36,646 [back-up beeping] 120 00:04:39,649 --> 00:04:41,551 - Can I get you something, Miss Loretta? 121 00:04:41,651 --> 00:04:43,987 Oh, no, I'm not hungry. 122 00:04:44,054 --> 00:04:47,023 - Come on, come shopping with us. 123 00:04:47,123 --> 00:04:48,892 You can help me pick out a outfit 124 00:04:48,992 --> 00:04:50,861 for Edna's birthday celebration. 125 00:04:50,961 --> 00:04:52,395 - You never take my fashion advice. 126 00:04:52,496 --> 00:04:53,730 - Well, you don't really know that much 127 00:04:53,830 --> 00:04:56,566 about women's bodies, you know? 128 00:04:56,666 --> 00:04:58,902 Come on, it'll be fun. 129 00:04:59,002 --> 00:05:00,237 - Mom. - What? 130 00:05:00,337 --> 00:05:01,571 I know what you're doing, 131 00:05:01,671 --> 00:05:03,306 and you don't have to babysit me. 132 00:05:03,373 --> 00:05:06,576 I'm fine--it was practically a mutual breakup. 133 00:05:06,676 --> 00:05:08,078 These are stale. 134 00:05:08,178 --> 00:05:09,646 Honey... 135 00:05:09,713 --> 00:05:12,549 have you even talked to Wilson at all? 136 00:05:12,649 --> 00:05:14,918 No, I blocked his number. 137 00:05:15,018 --> 00:05:16,386 - Marcus. - Marcus! 138 00:05:16,486 --> 00:05:18,855 - Okay, don't say "Marcus" in unison to me. 139 00:05:18,922 --> 00:05:20,924 Talking is not going to change anything. 140 00:05:21,024 --> 00:05:23,360 He has a job. I have a career. 141 00:05:23,426 --> 00:05:25,896 - It's never going to work. - Oh, okay. 142 00:05:25,996 --> 00:05:29,165 Well, can, um, can I keep talking to him? 143 00:05:29,232 --> 00:05:30,166 No! 144 00:05:30,233 --> 00:05:31,601 Okay, I won't. 145 00:05:31,701 --> 00:05:33,670 - But if Roman Reigns... - Mm! 146 00:05:33,737 --> 00:05:35,605 Ever goes to the AEW, 147 00:05:35,705 --> 00:05:37,541 can I at least DM him? 148 00:05:37,607 --> 00:05:39,009 Sure, Mom. 149 00:05:39,075 --> 00:05:41,011 If Roman Reigns gets to AEW, 150 00:05:41,077 --> 00:05:42,913 you can DM my ex-boyfriend. 151 00:05:43,013 --> 00:05:44,347 Whoo! Okay. 152 00:05:44,414 --> 00:05:46,683 - And thank you, baby. - Mm-mm, girl, 153 00:05:46,750 --> 00:05:48,285 these spicy cashews is good. 154 00:05:48,385 --> 00:05:51,254 - I-I'ma take these to go. - Gimme one. 155 00:05:51,354 --> 00:05:52,355 - Enjoy. - Mm-mm. You're on high 156 00:05:52,422 --> 00:05:53,390 blood pressure medicine. 157 00:05:53,456 --> 00:05:56,426 [funky music plays] 158 00:05:56,526 --> 00:06:00,230 ♪ ♪ 159 00:06:00,297 --> 00:06:02,465 ♪ The love bus ♪ 160 00:06:02,566 --> 00:06:04,367 - Hurry up. I got us eating for 30-- 161 00:06:04,434 --> 00:06:05,635 no more, no less. 162 00:06:05,735 --> 00:06:08,305 Butts in seats, axles moving at 14:00! 163 00:06:08,405 --> 00:06:09,906 - Got it! - We know! 164 00:06:09,973 --> 00:06:12,542 - Okay. So that is the diner. I called ahead. 165 00:06:12,609 --> 00:06:14,411 They do not have Nancy's organic cottage cheese. 166 00:06:14,477 --> 00:06:16,112 But I'm going to go to that grocery store 167 00:06:16,212 --> 00:06:18,081 where they do have it, and the manager promised me 168 00:06:18,148 --> 00:06:19,416 that they will plate it for you. 169 00:06:19,482 --> 00:06:20,550 - Oh, fabulous, thank you, Damien. 170 00:06:20,617 --> 00:06:21,918 Thank you. 171 00:06:21,985 --> 00:06:23,286 - Oh, I'm gonna run over to that cell phone store. 172 00:06:23,386 --> 00:06:24,788 Could you grab me something to go, 173 00:06:24,888 --> 00:06:27,390 like whatever vegan option they have? 174 00:06:28,458 --> 00:06:30,660 You know, the veggie burgers at these places 175 00:06:30,760 --> 00:06:32,662 can really surprise you. 176 00:06:37,667 --> 00:06:40,136 - That's why I started taking Ape-Brain nootropix, 177 00:06:40,236 --> 00:06:41,771 and I'm thinking better, 178 00:06:41,838 --> 00:06:44,174 I'm pumping better, I'm feeling better. 179 00:06:44,274 --> 00:06:46,643 - Hi. - Oh, uh, Hi. 180 00:06:46,743 --> 00:06:48,745 - I'm, uh, I'm looking for a new phone. 181 00:06:48,812 --> 00:06:50,981 Uh, so like an upgrade? 182 00:06:51,081 --> 00:06:52,349 Mmm, no. Downgrade. 183 00:06:52,449 --> 00:06:54,150 I just need a phone that doesn't have access 184 00:06:54,250 --> 00:06:57,854 to email, internet, social media--just like a dumb phone, 185 00:06:57,954 --> 00:07:00,190 basically like a brick. 186 00:07:00,290 --> 00:07:01,691 Okay, uh... 187 00:07:01,791 --> 00:07:05,595 Ah. So this is a really basic flip phone. 188 00:07:05,662 --> 00:07:07,864 I got it as a buyback from a lady 189 00:07:07,964 --> 00:07:10,433 who got it for her husband who needed really big buttons 190 00:07:10,500 --> 00:07:12,702 'cause of his dementia, but... 191 00:07:12,802 --> 00:07:16,272 he just, d-- um, doesn't need it anymore. 192 00:07:19,643 --> 00:07:21,344 I... 193 00:07:21,444 --> 00:07:22,612 love it. 194 00:07:22,679 --> 00:07:25,048 Crazy. All right. 195 00:07:27,984 --> 00:07:29,486 [beeping] 196 00:07:33,056 --> 00:07:34,357 Where is she? 197 00:07:34,457 --> 00:07:35,992 - I think she went to go get a new phone. 198 00:07:36,059 --> 00:07:37,494 I don't know, I wasn't listening. 199 00:07:37,560 --> 00:07:39,396 - The girl talks too slow. - Oh, speaking of phones, 200 00:07:39,496 --> 00:07:41,831 I want everybody's phones collected at the show tonight. 201 00:07:41,898 --> 00:07:43,366 I don't want anybody recording material 202 00:07:43,466 --> 00:07:44,501 that I'm still working out. 203 00:07:44,567 --> 00:07:46,002 Show's nowhere near ready. 204 00:07:46,069 --> 00:07:47,904 - Yeah, the Faraday bags have not arrived yet, 205 00:07:48,004 --> 00:07:48,972 but it is Okay. 206 00:07:49,039 --> 00:07:50,974 I have it all worked out. 207 00:07:51,041 --> 00:07:53,343 - You're nine minutes late. We got a problem? 208 00:07:53,410 --> 00:07:55,011 You gonna be an issue for me? 209 00:07:55,078 --> 00:07:56,579 Oh, sorry, sorry. 210 00:07:56,680 --> 00:07:58,581 I just--I saw this water bottle, 211 00:07:58,682 --> 00:07:59,916 and I needed to get it. 212 00:08:00,016 --> 00:08:01,651 - All right, guys. This tour schedule 213 00:08:01,718 --> 00:08:03,486 is one of the most ambitious I've ever seen, 214 00:08:03,553 --> 00:08:06,423 and it only works if we stick to the itinerary. 215 00:08:06,523 --> 00:08:07,691 We got it? 216 00:08:07,757 --> 00:08:08,858 - Got it. - Okay. 217 00:08:08,925 --> 00:08:10,260 - Can--can... 218 00:08:10,360 --> 00:08:12,996 - Okay. Sorry. - Jesus Christ. 219 00:08:13,063 --> 00:08:15,265 Let's go, Phil. [engine turns] 220 00:08:24,340 --> 00:08:25,675 Hmm. 221 00:08:31,781 --> 00:08:36,219 Could I maybe take out one of your creams from the fridge 222 00:08:36,286 --> 00:08:38,555 just to store something temporarily? 223 00:08:38,621 --> 00:08:39,723 Absolutely not. 224 00:08:39,789 --> 00:08:41,591 Okay, sorry. 225 00:08:41,691 --> 00:08:45,528 Was just looking for a spot for my kombucha. 226 00:08:45,595 --> 00:08:47,430 - Kombucha doesn't need to be refrigerated. 227 00:08:47,530 --> 00:08:48,898 It's made in a bathtub. 228 00:08:48,965 --> 00:08:51,634 - Well, actually, if it's not kept cold, 229 00:08:51,735 --> 00:08:54,938 it'll keep fermenting in the bottle and it can explode. 230 00:08:55,038 --> 00:08:56,473 - Oh God, fine here. Give it to me. 231 00:08:56,573 --> 00:08:58,208 Thanks. 232 00:08:58,274 --> 00:08:59,809 - [bottle shatters] - Oh! 233 00:08:59,909 --> 00:09:03,747 - Hm. You were right, it did explode. 234 00:09:03,813 --> 00:09:06,983 ♪ ♪ 235 00:09:07,083 --> 00:09:09,152 - So I went from sitcom star to being 236 00:09:09,252 --> 00:09:12,155 the crazy lady who burned down her ex-husband's house. 237 00:09:12,255 --> 00:09:14,624 But I didn't do it. 238 00:09:14,724 --> 00:09:16,392 Yeah. The only thing I've ever burned 239 00:09:16,459 --> 00:09:17,994 was a bridge with "Hollywood Squares" 240 00:09:18,094 --> 00:09:20,230 when they put me in the upper left. 241 00:09:20,296 --> 00:09:22,098 Come on, you'd laugh if you knew 242 00:09:22,165 --> 00:09:24,234 how bad the upper left was-- it was next to Paul Lynde, 243 00:09:24,300 --> 00:09:26,636 and he had the worst pastrami bur-- 244 00:09:31,508 --> 00:09:32,942 Hello, Deborah. 245 00:09:33,009 --> 00:09:34,844 We miss you. 246 00:09:34,944 --> 00:09:38,181 And we wanted to tell you someone was a very brave boy 247 00:09:38,281 --> 00:09:40,617 about getting his anal glands expressed today. 248 00:09:40,683 --> 00:09:42,452 - [Deborah mock gasps] - The vet says 249 00:09:42,519 --> 00:09:44,287 no more spraying them with perfume anymore, 250 00:09:44,354 --> 00:09:47,123 unfortunately. [dogs panting, whining] 251 00:09:47,791 --> 00:09:50,193 - 9:00 a.m., QVC check in-call... 252 00:09:50,293 --> 00:09:54,030 send an answer to Dr. Scholls emails... 253 00:09:54,130 --> 00:09:56,633 and you need to get... pellet ice. 254 00:09:57,467 --> 00:10:00,503 - Damien, you're talking in your sleep again. 255 00:10:00,603 --> 00:10:02,305 Shut up about Deborah's schedule. 256 00:10:02,372 --> 00:10:03,873 Mmm. 257 00:10:07,544 --> 00:10:10,146 Oh, my God. Sirius XM! 258 00:10:10,213 --> 00:10:11,981 [Ava groans] 259 00:10:16,286 --> 00:10:17,287 Stop! 260 00:10:17,353 --> 00:10:19,522 [bus brakes squeal, thudding] 261 00:10:19,622 --> 00:10:20,557 [Ava groans] 262 00:10:20,657 --> 00:10:22,559 [brakes hiss] Oh... 263 00:10:22,659 --> 00:10:24,727 Oh my god...fuck... 264 00:10:24,828 --> 00:10:26,663 [continues groaning] 265 00:10:26,729 --> 00:10:28,398 What happened? 266 00:10:28,498 --> 00:10:29,566 Did we hit something? 267 00:10:29,666 --> 00:10:31,234 Deborah saw a yard sale. 268 00:10:31,334 --> 00:10:34,404 Oh, oh, fuck. 269 00:10:35,672 --> 00:10:38,541 [background chatter] 270 00:10:41,010 --> 00:10:44,013 - Kidding me? You are kidding me. 271 00:10:48,017 --> 00:10:49,652 [Deborah gasps] 272 00:10:49,719 --> 00:10:51,588 Oh that's nice. 273 00:10:51,688 --> 00:10:53,256 Isn't that fun? Yeah. 274 00:10:53,356 --> 00:10:56,259 [low chatter continues] 275 00:10:56,359 --> 00:10:58,895 - Excuse me, is this yours? - Yeah, yeah. 276 00:10:58,995 --> 00:11:00,730 - Yes, what are you asking for it? 277 00:11:00,830 --> 00:11:03,399 - Uh, I can do 250. - Huh. 250. 278 00:11:03,499 --> 00:11:05,001 [whispering] They don't know what they've got. 279 00:11:05,068 --> 00:11:07,203 This worth 20 grand. 280 00:11:07,270 --> 00:11:10,940 Um, there's kind of a sizable nick on this side 281 00:11:11,040 --> 00:11:12,342 and some scratches here. 282 00:11:12,408 --> 00:11:14,677 Gonna have to refinish the whole thing. 283 00:11:14,744 --> 00:11:17,013 Um, would you take 150? 284 00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:18,715 Come on. 285 00:11:19,716 --> 00:11:21,117 Please? 286 00:11:21,217 --> 00:11:22,352 [giggles] 287 00:11:22,418 --> 00:11:24,287 - Yeah Okay, sure. - Thank you! 288 00:11:25,922 --> 00:11:28,892 - How're you gonna get this thing on the bus? 289 00:11:30,560 --> 00:11:32,462 [grunting] 290 00:11:32,562 --> 00:11:34,297 - Watch the finials. Watch the finials! 291 00:11:34,397 --> 00:11:36,232 This was an unscheduled stop. 292 00:11:36,299 --> 00:11:38,034 Do not get in your heads that there will be 293 00:11:38,101 --> 00:11:39,435 unscheduled stops. 294 00:11:39,535 --> 00:11:40,904 If you need to make an unscheduled stop, 295 00:11:40,970 --> 00:11:41,971 you have to schedule it with me first. 296 00:11:42,071 --> 00:11:43,373 Okay, we get it. 297 00:11:43,439 --> 00:11:44,574 Deborah, where're we going with this? 298 00:11:44,641 --> 00:11:45,975 - Right--right there. 299 00:11:46,075 --> 00:11:48,244 - Hold on that's right in front of my bunk. 300 00:11:48,311 --> 00:11:50,113 Are you kidding me? 301 00:11:50,213 --> 00:11:51,614 - I know. You're gonna have to move it 302 00:11:51,714 --> 00:11:53,583 every time I want to use my LED bed. 303 00:11:53,650 --> 00:11:54,817 [small laugh] 304 00:11:54,918 --> 00:11:56,152 [Deborah sighs] 305 00:11:57,720 --> 00:12:00,256 You know, I'll think about storing it under the bus, 306 00:12:00,323 --> 00:12:03,593 but only after we get a furniture pad. 307 00:12:05,395 --> 00:12:07,063 - Mmm. - So it's good here? 308 00:12:07,130 --> 00:12:09,832 - Yes, thank you, Phil. - You got it. 309 00:12:15,638 --> 00:12:16,906 Okay. What's going on? 310 00:12:16,973 --> 00:12:19,943 Why is she being meaner to you than usual? 311 00:12:20,009 --> 00:12:23,112 I was mad 312 00:12:23,179 --> 00:12:24,981 and I got drunk and high, 313 00:12:25,081 --> 00:12:27,350 and I sent a very revealing email about her, 314 00:12:27,450 --> 00:12:29,519 and how she's suing me for violating my NDA. 315 00:12:29,619 --> 00:12:31,521 - Ugh... - I know I shouldn't have. 316 00:12:31,621 --> 00:12:33,589 - No, I just hate it when she doesn't keep me 317 00:12:33,656 --> 00:12:35,425 looped into new lawsuits. 318 00:12:36,192 --> 00:12:38,261 So, yeah. 319 00:12:38,328 --> 00:12:39,629 Pretty much ruined everything, 320 00:12:39,696 --> 00:12:42,031 - and she hates me now. - I don't get it. 321 00:12:42,131 --> 00:12:44,133 I mean, why doesn't she just fire you? 322 00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:45,702 She loves firing people. 323 00:12:45,802 --> 00:12:47,337 - I don't know, I guess 'cause I'm her joke writer 324 00:12:47,437 --> 00:12:48,604 and I'm funny. 325 00:12:48,671 --> 00:12:51,474 - Hmm. Mm-hmm. No, not to me. 326 00:12:51,541 --> 00:12:53,810 Ah, I'm not trying to be rude. 327 00:12:53,876 --> 00:12:55,712 It's just, I don't like comedy. 328 00:12:55,812 --> 00:12:58,214 Like...like all comedy? 329 00:12:58,314 --> 00:12:59,782 - I mean, everyone's trying too hard. 330 00:12:59,849 --> 00:13:00,850 It's like so awkward. 331 00:13:00,950 --> 00:13:03,720 You are... 332 00:13:03,820 --> 00:13:05,488 right, actually. 333 00:13:05,555 --> 00:13:08,491 - You guys see this? 50 cents. 334 00:13:08,558 --> 00:13:09,959 [laughing] 335 00:13:10,026 --> 00:13:13,529 [energetic music] 336 00:13:13,629 --> 00:13:15,898 - Cellphone? - Here you go. 337 00:13:15,999 --> 00:13:17,734 You are number 19. Remember that. 338 00:13:17,834 --> 00:13:18,868 Okay. 339 00:13:18,968 --> 00:13:21,337 - Next? - Hi, here you go. 340 00:13:21,404 --> 00:13:23,806 - All right. You're number 20. 341 00:13:23,873 --> 00:13:25,241 Please remember that. 342 00:13:25,341 --> 00:13:27,076 And everyone, please remember your number 343 00:13:27,176 --> 00:13:28,544 to collect your phone after the show. 344 00:13:28,644 --> 00:13:30,213 Thank you so much. 345 00:13:30,313 --> 00:13:32,715 [distant laughter] 346 00:13:33,416 --> 00:13:34,884 [announcer in background] 347 00:13:34,984 --> 00:13:36,919 - Oh, actually, I thought of a tag 348 00:13:37,020 --> 00:13:38,488 for that business manager run-- 349 00:13:38,554 --> 00:13:41,090 Just put it on an index card. 350 00:13:41,190 --> 00:13:42,525 - You sounded great out there. 351 00:13:42,592 --> 00:13:44,327 Thank you. 352 00:13:44,394 --> 00:13:46,029 [muffled cheers and applause] 353 00:13:46,095 --> 00:13:47,764 Oh, hey, great, set. 354 00:13:47,864 --> 00:13:51,234 - Oh, uh, yeah. Oh, thank you so much. 355 00:13:51,334 --> 00:13:52,668 - You're an excellent joke writer. 356 00:13:52,735 --> 00:13:54,103 Believe me, those are hard to find. 357 00:13:54,203 --> 00:13:55,605 Oh my God. 358 00:13:55,705 --> 00:13:58,174 Uh, wow, that means so much coming from you. 359 00:13:58,241 --> 00:13:59,709 Oh, Thanks. 360 00:13:59,776 --> 00:14:02,011 - Honestly, I was like obsessed 361 00:14:02,078 --> 00:14:03,846 with your Oxygen special when I was ten. 362 00:14:03,913 --> 00:14:06,282 I used to tell your altar boy gangbang joke 363 00:14:06,382 --> 00:14:07,550 to kids at recess. 364 00:14:07,617 --> 00:14:09,118 How did it do? 365 00:14:09,218 --> 00:14:10,953 Oh, killed! 366 00:14:11,054 --> 00:14:12,555 Definitely worth the suspension. 367 00:14:12,622 --> 00:14:15,792 [laughs] 368 00:14:15,892 --> 00:14:16,793 Oh God! 369 00:14:16,893 --> 00:14:17,960 [laughter] 370 00:14:18,061 --> 00:14:19,362 Oh, come--come sit. 371 00:14:19,429 --> 00:14:21,764 Okay. Sure. 372 00:14:21,864 --> 00:14:23,633 - Oh, you've pretty hands. - Ah. 373 00:14:23,733 --> 00:14:25,635 - No, really, you could be a hand model. 374 00:14:25,735 --> 00:14:27,937 - Oh, they're so delicate. - Thank you. 375 00:14:28,037 --> 00:14:30,973 - Oh, I am being so rude, Ava, it's Lori, right? 376 00:14:31,074 --> 00:14:34,744 Could you get Lori and I couple of ice waters from the bar? 377 00:14:35,378 --> 00:14:38,381 - Yeah, no problem. - Thanks. 378 00:14:39,482 --> 00:14:41,417 - And this is a great look. - The overalls? 379 00:14:41,484 --> 00:14:42,985 Oh, yeah. No, love that. 380 00:14:43,086 --> 00:14:44,487 - Oh, cool. - I should try that. 381 00:14:44,587 --> 00:14:45,788 - What do you think? - Yeah, you should. 382 00:14:45,888 --> 00:14:47,890 - That sounds fun. - You can go now. 383 00:14:51,260 --> 00:14:52,995 Okay. 384 00:14:53,096 --> 00:14:54,964 Um...thank you. 385 00:15:02,772 --> 00:15:03,973 [knocking] 386 00:15:04,073 --> 00:15:06,843 - Oh, Josefina, you look really nice. 387 00:15:06,943 --> 00:15:09,112 - Thank you. Can you button me up? 388 00:15:09,178 --> 00:15:11,581 Sure, yeah. 389 00:15:13,683 --> 00:15:15,585 You know, if this is a move, I am gay. 390 00:15:15,651 --> 00:15:17,587 - [laughs] I have a date. 391 00:15:17,653 --> 00:15:19,422 - Oh, I didn't know you were dating. 392 00:15:19,489 --> 00:15:21,324 - Well, I wasn't. But with Deborah gone, 393 00:15:21,424 --> 00:15:24,260 I finally started having nights to myself, and... 394 00:15:24,327 --> 00:15:27,597 I got tired of coming home to an empty house. 395 00:15:27,663 --> 00:15:29,999 - Was it scary to get back out there? 396 00:15:30,099 --> 00:15:33,136 - It was at first, but once I made the choice, 397 00:15:33,202 --> 00:15:34,604 it was great. 398 00:15:34,670 --> 00:15:37,173 And now I've had five dates with Vernon 399 00:15:37,273 --> 00:15:38,808 and I finally met his kids. 400 00:15:38,875 --> 00:15:40,376 They all have the same haircut, 401 00:15:40,476 --> 00:15:42,311 but I don't know yet if it's intentional. 402 00:15:42,378 --> 00:15:44,780 - Huh, okay, well, you're all set. 403 00:15:44,847 --> 00:15:45,982 Thank you. 404 00:15:46,048 --> 00:15:47,316 - I love those earrings, by the way. 405 00:15:47,383 --> 00:15:48,951 - They're Deborah's. - Oh-- 406 00:15:49,018 --> 00:15:51,787 - Shh. Don't tell her, or I'll tell her you were the one 407 00:15:51,854 --> 00:15:53,623 who put the marshmallow in the panini maker. 408 00:15:53,689 --> 00:15:55,024 My lips are sealed. 409 00:15:55,124 --> 00:15:56,726 - Have fun. - Thank you. 410 00:15:56,826 --> 00:15:58,561 Don't stay here too late. 411 00:15:58,661 --> 00:16:01,063 You work too hard, Marcus. 412 00:16:01,164 --> 00:16:02,331 Good night. 413 00:16:02,398 --> 00:16:03,299 Good night. 414 00:16:03,366 --> 00:16:06,903 [piano music plays] 415 00:16:07,003 --> 00:16:09,839 ♪ ♪ 416 00:16:09,906 --> 00:16:11,174 [audience laughs] 417 00:16:11,240 --> 00:16:12,975 - Apparently, I wasn't the best mother. 418 00:16:13,042 --> 00:16:15,678 In fact, I was officially the worst, 419 00:16:15,745 --> 00:16:17,380 according to the "National Enquirer." 420 00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:20,383 No, it's true, in '87, I was number one 421 00:16:20,483 --> 00:16:22,752 on their list of worst moms. 422 00:16:22,852 --> 00:16:25,321 And that was the year Baby Jessica fell down that well. 423 00:16:25,388 --> 00:16:27,423 [laughter] But I thought, you know, 424 00:16:27,523 --> 00:16:29,091 they don't know a thing about me. 425 00:16:29,192 --> 00:16:31,561 But then I made their list of best-dressed, 426 00:16:31,661 --> 00:16:33,930 so I thought, well, maybe they do know 427 00:16:34,030 --> 00:16:35,765 what they're talking about. 428 00:16:35,865 --> 00:16:37,833 [light laughter] 429 00:16:37,900 --> 00:16:39,769 - You don't have it written down anywhere? 430 00:16:39,869 --> 00:16:42,605 - No, no, I do not, because I told you to remember it. 431 00:16:42,705 --> 00:16:45,007 Um, uh, what's your number? 432 00:16:45,074 --> 00:16:46,609 - He said he doesn't remember it. 433 00:16:46,709 --> 00:16:50,346 - His cell phone number. Just dial it from my phone. 434 00:16:50,413 --> 00:16:52,248 Oh, this is ridiculous. 435 00:16:52,348 --> 00:16:53,783 - Shh! Shh! [phone buzzing] 436 00:16:53,883 --> 00:16:55,618 I'm following the buzz. 437 00:16:55,718 --> 00:16:58,688 [phone buzzing] 438 00:17:00,389 --> 00:17:02,692 - How was the show? - Horrible. 439 00:17:02,758 --> 00:17:05,094 Yes. Not a great set. 440 00:17:05,194 --> 00:17:07,430 - Oh, yeah. Only one show, right? 441 00:17:08,231 --> 00:17:09,699 - You're only as good as your last show. 442 00:17:09,765 --> 00:17:10,967 Where are we tomorrow night? 443 00:17:11,067 --> 00:17:12,802 - OKC, sold-out house. 444 00:17:12,902 --> 00:17:14,904 - Oh, thank God. I always do well there. 445 00:17:14,971 --> 00:17:16,439 I need this. 446 00:17:16,539 --> 00:17:19,308 - Do you wanna work on the "National Enquirer" bit? 447 00:17:19,408 --> 00:17:21,944 - No, I want you to work on it while I rest. 448 00:17:22,044 --> 00:17:23,746 I haven't been sleeping. It's not helping. 449 00:17:23,813 --> 00:17:25,815 - I hear you, Deb. Not sleeping great myself. 450 00:17:25,915 --> 00:17:27,917 This chair reclines way too much. 451 00:17:37,927 --> 00:17:39,662 [loud thud, clattering] 452 00:17:39,762 --> 00:17:42,498 [groans] 453 00:17:44,934 --> 00:17:46,836 Oh fuck... 454 00:17:50,606 --> 00:17:52,942 Passing on the Chobani ad... 455 00:18:17,133 --> 00:18:18,467 Fuck. 456 00:18:21,103 --> 00:18:23,005 Oh, shit! 457 00:18:23,105 --> 00:18:24,874 [hyperventilating] 458 00:18:24,974 --> 00:18:26,709 - What are you doing? - Fuck! 459 00:18:26,809 --> 00:18:28,978 What? 460 00:18:29,045 --> 00:18:30,680 What is going on? 461 00:18:30,780 --> 00:18:32,381 - Have you seen a tennis ball canister? 462 00:18:32,481 --> 00:18:34,183 It was in my backpack, and it's really important. 463 00:18:34,283 --> 00:18:35,718 Yeah, I threw that out. 464 00:18:35,818 --> 00:18:37,219 What? 465 00:18:37,320 --> 00:18:39,055 - Yeah, just some dirt in a tennis ball canister 466 00:18:39,155 --> 00:18:40,790 was rolling around the bus, so I tossed it. 467 00:18:40,856 --> 00:18:42,725 - Tha--that dirt was my dad. 468 00:18:42,825 --> 00:18:43,959 Those are his ashes! 469 00:18:44,026 --> 00:18:46,362 - What the fuck... - Oh my God. 470 00:18:46,462 --> 00:18:47,997 - You threw them out? - They were on the ground! 471 00:18:48,064 --> 00:18:49,832 - Yeah, well, they probably fell out of my bag 472 00:18:49,899 --> 00:18:51,734 'cause all I have for storage on this stupid bus 473 00:18:51,834 --> 00:18:52,802 is a fucking hook! 474 00:18:52,868 --> 00:18:54,070 Well, sorry. I texted you. 475 00:18:54,170 --> 00:18:55,304 - No, you didn't! - Yes, I did. 476 00:18:55,371 --> 00:18:56,806 I sent you a photo. 477 00:18:56,872 --> 00:18:58,507 I said, "Is this yours or can I throw it out?" 478 00:18:58,574 --> 00:18:59,975 - Well, I never got it 'cause I have a stupid 479 00:19:00,042 --> 00:19:01,410 old flip phone that can't get pictures. 480 00:19:01,510 --> 00:19:03,145 - Oh, you should get a smartphone. 481 00:19:03,212 --> 00:19:04,246 They're a game changer. 482 00:19:04,347 --> 00:19:05,748 I know about smart phones! 483 00:19:05,848 --> 00:19:08,417 I'm trying to be a good person, you dumb bitch! 484 00:19:09,185 --> 00:19:11,887 What is happening? 485 00:19:11,987 --> 00:19:14,423 Why the fuck is my La Mer on the ground? 486 00:19:14,523 --> 00:19:17,893 - We threw away Ava's dad's ashes. 487 00:19:17,993 --> 00:19:19,762 Oh, Jesus. 488 00:19:19,862 --> 00:19:21,097 - It was an accident. - Where? 489 00:19:21,197 --> 00:19:22,932 Where did you throw them out? 490 00:19:23,032 --> 00:19:25,868 - Uh...musta been when I had supper 491 00:19:25,935 --> 00:19:28,604 at McDonald's, Burger King, or Wendy's. 492 00:19:28,704 --> 00:19:31,407 - Or? You don't fucking remember where you ate dinner? 493 00:19:31,507 --> 00:19:33,242 - Yeah, I remember. I ate at all three. 494 00:19:33,342 --> 00:19:35,378 I like the fries at McDonald's, the burgers at Burger King, 495 00:19:35,444 --> 00:19:37,747 charbroiled, and the Frostys at Wendy's. 496 00:19:37,847 --> 00:19:39,415 So, yeah, it's probably in the trash at one of those. 497 00:19:39,515 --> 00:19:42,418 - Okay, we have to go back. I have to get it-- 498 00:19:42,518 --> 00:19:44,186 - No, no. Sorry about your papa. 499 00:19:44,253 --> 00:19:46,956 That's my bad. But we're way too far away. 500 00:19:47,056 --> 00:19:49,024 We got to get to Oklahoma. We can't double back now, 501 00:19:49,091 --> 00:19:50,626 or it's gonna throw the whole schedule off. 502 00:19:50,726 --> 00:19:51,894 Oh my God, fine! 503 00:19:51,961 --> 00:19:53,629 Then just stop the bus and drop me off. 504 00:19:53,729 --> 00:19:54,630 I'll call an Uber. 505 00:19:54,730 --> 00:19:55,698 Uh, without a smartphone? 506 00:19:55,765 --> 00:19:56,899 Fuck! I'll hitchhike. 507 00:19:56,966 --> 00:19:58,467 Just please stop the bus. 508 00:19:58,567 --> 00:20:00,970 - Please, Phil, pull over. - No, Phil, do not pull over. 509 00:20:01,070 --> 00:20:02,605 - Please pull over! - Phil, do not pull over! 510 00:20:02,705 --> 00:20:04,740 - Please I need to get off! - Stop! 511 00:20:06,976 --> 00:20:08,477 Turn the bus around. 512 00:20:08,577 --> 00:20:12,047 - Deb-- - Turn the bus around. 513 00:20:12,114 --> 00:20:15,151 Phil! 514 00:20:15,251 --> 00:20:16,952 Turn it around! 515 00:20:22,591 --> 00:20:26,629 - Girl, are you gonna play a word tonight? 516 00:20:26,729 --> 00:20:27,997 It's your turn. 517 00:20:28,097 --> 00:20:30,833 - Is it? - I think so. 518 00:20:30,933 --> 00:20:33,235 - I'm drunk. - Me too. 519 00:20:33,302 --> 00:20:34,670 [laughter] 520 00:20:34,770 --> 00:20:36,672 Hello, we're home. 521 00:20:36,772 --> 00:20:39,308 - [whispering] "We're"? - [whispering] "We're"? 522 00:20:40,943 --> 00:20:44,346 - Oh my God, it's a little puppy. 523 00:20:44,447 --> 00:20:46,949 - Mom, Miss Loretta, this is Joe. 524 00:20:47,016 --> 00:20:48,517 - Okay, wait, wait, wait, don't crowd him, Loretta, 525 00:20:48,617 --> 00:20:50,152 - 'cause you'll make him nervous. - Oh. 526 00:20:50,252 --> 00:20:52,188 - Suckah! - Oh fuck you, bitch. 527 00:20:52,288 --> 00:20:53,522 Gimme the dog. 528 00:20:53,622 --> 00:20:56,459 Let me see, you baby... 529 00:20:56,525 --> 00:20:58,494 - When did you become a dog guy? 530 00:20:58,594 --> 00:21:00,296 - Since I made the choice to be one. 531 00:21:00,362 --> 00:21:02,665 - Oh, look at his little doggy dick. 532 00:21:02,765 --> 00:21:04,433 - Look at the little puppy-- - Loretta. 533 00:21:04,500 --> 00:21:06,035 - Give me the dog back. - I just wanted to see 534 00:21:06,135 --> 00:21:07,369 - if it was a boy-- - That wasn't me, that was her. 535 00:21:07,470 --> 00:21:08,671 No, it's both of y'all. 536 00:21:08,771 --> 00:21:10,206 She ruined it for the both of you. 537 00:21:10,306 --> 00:21:11,774 - I just wanted to see if boy or a girl. 538 00:21:11,841 --> 00:21:13,843 - I said his name is Joe. - See what you did? 539 00:21:13,943 --> 00:21:15,211 Joe can be a girl's name. 540 00:21:15,311 --> 00:21:16,846 You know, like in "Little Women." 541 00:21:16,946 --> 00:21:18,214 - What? - You know. 542 00:21:18,314 --> 00:21:19,782 Okay, no, I don't know. 543 00:21:19,849 --> 00:21:21,517 - Everybody read "Little Women" in school, baby. 544 00:21:21,617 --> 00:21:23,285 I went to school with white folk. 545 00:21:31,393 --> 00:21:33,629 - [groans] It wasn't at the first two places. 546 00:21:33,696 --> 00:21:35,564 It has to be here. 547 00:21:35,664 --> 00:21:38,400 [clattering continues] 548 00:21:40,503 --> 00:21:41,904 For Christ's sake! 549 00:21:42,004 --> 00:21:43,339 Phil, hold this. 550 00:21:44,473 --> 00:21:47,877 [stirring music] 551 00:21:47,977 --> 00:21:52,848 ♪ ♪ 552 00:21:52,915 --> 00:21:55,684 I already went through that. Ugh... 553 00:21:55,751 --> 00:21:58,521 Ohh...what the fuck? 554 00:22:02,691 --> 00:22:04,994 - Wait, what's that? What's that, what's that? 555 00:22:05,060 --> 00:22:08,030 - What? - On your left under that shoe. 556 00:22:09,265 --> 00:22:10,933 [gasps] 557 00:22:11,033 --> 00:22:12,535 [screams] Yes! [voice echoes] 558 00:22:12,601 --> 00:22:15,371 Oh my God, thank you guys so much. 559 00:22:15,437 --> 00:22:17,606 Yeah. Yeah. 560 00:22:17,706 --> 00:22:19,275 Okay, Damien? 561 00:22:19,375 --> 00:22:22,044 - Find us a bar. - On it. 562 00:22:22,111 --> 00:22:25,514 [soft pop music, low chatter] 563 00:22:25,581 --> 00:22:32,288 ♪ ♪ 564 00:22:32,388 --> 00:22:33,722 No dirty martini? 565 00:22:33,789 --> 00:22:35,124 Oh no. 566 00:22:35,224 --> 00:22:37,359 Can't trust them to make a good martini here. 567 00:22:37,426 --> 00:22:40,963 No, you only order white wine in a bar on the road, 568 00:22:41,063 --> 00:22:43,566 because a cheap red is always terrible, but a cheap white 569 00:22:43,632 --> 00:22:45,801 at least you can live with, 'cause it's chilled. 570 00:22:45,901 --> 00:22:46,936 Ah. 571 00:22:54,043 --> 00:22:55,911 Thank you for that. 572 00:22:55,978 --> 00:22:58,814 I know you really don't owe me anything, 573 00:22:58,914 --> 00:23:00,482 so I appreciate it. 574 00:23:01,383 --> 00:23:03,652 And I'm sorry I freaked out, I just-- 575 00:23:03,752 --> 00:23:05,387 things with my dad happened really fast, 576 00:23:05,454 --> 00:23:09,391 and I was just scared I fucked something else up. 577 00:23:10,159 --> 00:23:12,461 And I'm sorry if I put us off our schedule. 578 00:23:12,561 --> 00:23:16,065 I hope we can still make it to Oklahoma City in time. 579 00:23:16,131 --> 00:23:19,168 - It doesn't really matter if we have to skip that one. 580 00:23:19,268 --> 00:23:21,303 Those poor people have seen enough bombings. 581 00:23:21,403 --> 00:23:23,005 [chuckling] 582 00:23:23,839 --> 00:23:26,475 - Oh, come on, we're only a few shows in. 583 00:23:26,575 --> 00:23:28,911 I don't know. 584 00:23:28,978 --> 00:23:32,314 Usually something, you know, clicks by now. 585 00:23:35,284 --> 00:23:36,619 I mean, I'm not even gonna 586 00:23:36,685 --> 00:23:39,254 get a new residency in Reno with this. 587 00:23:39,321 --> 00:23:42,324 [buzzer on TV, announcer in background] 588 00:23:42,424 --> 00:23:44,693 - My dad used to always want me to watch with him. 589 00:23:44,793 --> 00:23:46,328 He loved basketball. 590 00:23:46,428 --> 00:23:48,597 But I usually said no because I don't really care 591 00:23:48,664 --> 00:23:51,033 about sports and also the sound of the sneakers 592 00:23:51,133 --> 00:23:53,369 squeaking on the floor really bothers me. 593 00:23:53,469 --> 00:23:56,338 You know, it's like eeh eeh eeh-eeh-eeh-- 594 00:23:56,438 --> 00:23:59,108 - I get it. - Yeah. 595 00:23:59,174 --> 00:24:02,177 Yeah, so I never really watched with him, 596 00:24:02,277 --> 00:24:03,879 which was dumb. 597 00:24:03,979 --> 00:24:07,282 Should have just given him like two fucking hours of my day. 598 00:24:09,785 --> 00:24:11,520 Anyway, point is, 599 00:24:11,620 --> 00:24:13,455 I do always remember this thing 600 00:24:13,522 --> 00:24:15,190 he told me about this one team. 601 00:24:15,290 --> 00:24:17,860 Their motto was "Trust the process." 602 00:24:17,960 --> 00:24:21,497 And I remember thinking, like, "That's a good philosophy." 603 00:24:21,563 --> 00:24:24,867 You know, like every game, win or lose, 604 00:24:24,967 --> 00:24:26,669 it's just part of it. 605 00:24:26,735 --> 00:24:29,371 You're on the path to something bigger, 606 00:24:29,471 --> 00:24:33,008 so the individual setbacks don't get you down. 607 00:24:34,643 --> 00:24:36,912 So maybe just... 608 00:24:37,012 --> 00:24:38,847 trust the process. 609 00:24:44,253 --> 00:24:45,821 - Oh, my God, will you just order 610 00:24:45,888 --> 00:24:46,989 a glass of wine or something? 611 00:24:47,056 --> 00:24:48,824 I'm trying to be good. 612 00:24:48,891 --> 00:24:50,926 - Well, then get back to being good tomorrow morning. 613 00:24:51,026 --> 00:24:52,394 Don't make me drink alone. 614 00:24:52,494 --> 00:24:54,830 I mean, what else are you good for? 615 00:24:59,268 --> 00:25:00,936 Oh, barkeep? 616 00:25:01,036 --> 00:25:03,005 - What can I get you? - I'll have what she's having. 617 00:25:03,072 --> 00:25:05,107 - Sure. Also, sorry to eavesdrop, 618 00:25:05,207 --> 00:25:08,444 but that team you were thinking of is the Philadelphia 76ers. 619 00:25:08,544 --> 00:25:10,446 Yes, right! 620 00:25:10,546 --> 00:25:13,382 - So did it work? Did they win a championship? 621 00:25:13,449 --> 00:25:16,051 - Oh, no, they blow it every year, they suck. 622 00:25:18,220 --> 00:25:19,955 [laughter] 623 00:25:25,060 --> 00:25:26,895 That's great. 624 00:25:26,962 --> 00:25:28,063 That's good. 625 00:25:31,900 --> 00:25:34,937 So, what are you going to do with that? 626 00:25:35,037 --> 00:25:37,706 Yeah, um, I'm not sure. 627 00:25:37,773 --> 00:25:41,977 I mean, I know I want to scatter them, but I... 628 00:25:42,077 --> 00:25:43,312 I don't know where. 629 00:25:43,412 --> 00:25:46,081 - Don't look at me. I'm a mausoleum gal. 630 00:25:49,451 --> 00:25:52,421 [light music] 631 00:25:52,488 --> 00:25:54,823 ♪ ♪ 632 00:25:54,923 --> 00:25:57,126 I'll be right back. 633 00:25:58,994 --> 00:26:01,263 [phone rings] 634 00:26:01,330 --> 00:26:03,499 - Palmetto Resort and Spa. This is Ray. 635 00:26:03,599 --> 00:26:05,300 Hey, Ray, it's Ava. 636 00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:07,336 Room 358. 637 00:26:07,436 --> 00:26:08,904 Lived there for a very sad amount of time. 638 00:26:08,971 --> 00:26:10,572 - Yeah, if you're looking for your night guard, 639 00:26:10,639 --> 00:26:12,074 It was in Lost and Found for two weeks, 640 00:26:12,141 --> 00:26:13,675 and then after that if it's not claimed-- 641 00:26:13,776 --> 00:26:15,177 - No, I actually had a question for you. 642 00:26:15,277 --> 00:26:16,745 I'm trying to figure out what to do 643 00:26:16,812 --> 00:26:18,313 with my dad's ashes, and I was wondering 644 00:26:18,413 --> 00:26:20,682 if I could ask what you did with your dad's? 645 00:26:20,783 --> 00:26:24,153 - Oh, well we spread his ashes-- 646 00:26:24,253 --> 00:26:26,155 - The spa? - Spa's on the third floor. 647 00:26:26,255 --> 00:26:28,023 Yeah. 648 00:26:28,123 --> 00:26:30,259 We spread his ashes in Key West Florida 649 00:26:30,325 --> 00:26:32,761 'cause that was like his favorite place in the world. 650 00:26:32,828 --> 00:26:35,864 Did your dad have a place he loved like that? 651 00:26:35,964 --> 00:26:38,700 Um, honestly, no. 652 00:26:38,801 --> 00:26:41,203 He worked a ton and didn't really get to travel. 653 00:26:41,303 --> 00:26:42,671 I mean, I think that was... 654 00:26:42,771 --> 00:26:46,108 probably a big regret of his, actually. 655 00:26:46,175 --> 00:26:48,710 - Well, I mean, you're driving across the country, right? 656 00:26:48,811 --> 00:26:51,146 Couldn't you spread a little bit of him in each state? 657 00:26:51,213 --> 00:26:55,217 So it's like he finally got to travel? 658 00:26:55,317 --> 00:26:57,719 - Oh my God, that's such a good idea. 659 00:26:57,820 --> 00:27:00,389 You're incredibly emotionally intelligent, Ray. 660 00:27:00,489 --> 00:27:01,790 - Yeah, well, the fact that you sound surprised 661 00:27:01,857 --> 00:27:03,559 is actually super condescending. 662 00:27:03,659 --> 00:27:05,861 - Okay, and another great read on the situation. 663 00:27:05,961 --> 00:27:08,063 - Okay, great, I have to go. 664 00:27:08,163 --> 00:27:10,799 Sir, we've already given you so much lotion. 665 00:27:22,644 --> 00:27:25,714 [soft music] 666 00:27:25,814 --> 00:27:32,855 ♪ ♪ 667 00:27:39,862 --> 00:27:42,431 So... 668 00:27:42,531 --> 00:27:45,033 here's the Grand Canyon, Dad. 669 00:27:54,710 --> 00:27:56,445 - You're done? - Yeah. 670 00:27:56,545 --> 00:27:58,881 I'm going to do a little bit in every city we go to. 671 00:27:58,947 --> 00:28:00,082 Oh. 672 00:28:00,182 --> 00:28:02,918 - Except the far right strongholds. 673 00:28:03,018 --> 00:28:04,052 - Cool. - All right, 674 00:28:04,119 --> 00:28:05,387 this reroute killed us. 675 00:28:05,454 --> 00:28:07,356 Let's bottle up Papa, ladies. 676 00:28:07,422 --> 00:28:09,358 Hit the road, Jack! 677 00:28:11,293 --> 00:28:12,361 Jesus. 678 00:28:23,906 --> 00:28:26,208 You know, it's probably good that your dad didn't live 679 00:28:26,275 --> 00:28:29,878 to see me take you for everything you're worth. 680 00:28:29,945 --> 00:28:31,914 Yeah. 681 00:28:31,980 --> 00:28:35,417 ["Sea Of Heartbreak" by Don Gibson plays] 682 00:28:35,484 --> 00:28:37,252 [humming] 683 00:28:37,319 --> 00:28:39,621 ♪ The lights ♪ 684 00:28:39,721 --> 00:28:41,924 ♪ In the harbor ♪ 685 00:28:41,990 --> 00:28:43,825 ♪ Bom bom bom ♪ 686 00:28:43,926 --> 00:28:46,328 ♪ Don't shine for me ♪ 687 00:28:46,428 --> 00:28:48,397 ♪ Bom bom bom bom ♪ 688 00:28:48,463 --> 00:28:52,434 ♪ I'm like a lost ship ♪ 689 00:28:52,501 --> 00:28:54,336 ♪ Bom bom bom ♪ 690 00:28:54,436 --> 00:28:57,139 ♪ Adrift on the sea ♪ 691 00:28:57,239 --> 00:29:00,342 ♪ Sea of heartbreak ♪ 692 00:29:00,442 --> 00:29:02,577 ♪ Lost love an' loneliness ♪ 693 00:29:02,644 --> 00:29:06,848 ♪ Memories of your caress, so divine ♪ 694 00:29:06,949 --> 00:29:10,786 ♪ I wish you were mine again, my dear ♪ 695 00:29:10,852 --> 00:29:13,622 ♪ I am on this sea of tears ♪ 696 00:29:13,689 --> 00:29:16,358 ♪ Sea of heartbreak ♪ 697 00:29:16,458 --> 00:29:20,028 ♪ Sea of heartbreak ♪ 698 00:29:20,128 --> 00:29:23,799 ♪ How did I lose you? ♪ 699 00:29:23,865 --> 00:29:26,001 ♪ Bom bom bom ♪ 700 00:29:26,101 --> 00:29:29,371 ♪ Oh, where did I fail? ♪ 701 00:29:29,471 --> 00:29:31,206 ♪ Bom bom bom bom ♪ 702 00:29:31,306 --> 00:29:34,476 ♪ Why did you leave me ♪ 703 00:29:34,543 --> 00:29:36,378 ♪ Bom bom bom ♪ 704 00:29:36,478 --> 00:29:39,715 ♪ Always to sail? ♪ 705 00:29:39,815 --> 00:29:42,384 ♪ This sea of heartbreak ♪ 706 00:29:42,484 --> 00:29:44,720 ♪ Lost love an' loneliness ♪ 707 00:29:44,820 --> 00:29:48,790 ♪ Memories of your caress, so divine ♪ 708 00:29:48,857 --> 00:29:52,461 ♪ How I wish you were mine again, my dear ♪ 50655

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