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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,679 Michael! Michael! 2 00:00:04,680 --> 00:00:06,040 SEAGULLS CAW 3 00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:46,039 - Were they barbecuing last night? - Who? 4 00:00:46,040 --> 00:00:48,599 Him, next door, and his girlfriend. 5 00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:51,639 His name's Michael and she's not his girlfriend. 6 00:00:51,640 --> 00:00:54,959 Right, well, whoever she is. Anyway, how do you know? 7 00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:56,519 I bumped into her at the shop. 8 00:00:56,520 --> 00:00:58,719 - Kacey. She's nice. - Whatever. 9 00:00:58,720 --> 00:01:01,919 Right, they were barbecuing, because I smelled it. 10 00:01:01,920 --> 00:01:03,440 It was just a bonfire. 11 00:01:05,240 --> 00:01:07,240 There are coals on our drive. 12 00:01:08,480 --> 00:01:11,439 Right? They're chucking barbecue coals on our drive. 13 00:01:11,440 --> 00:01:13,239 What? Why? 14 00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:14,999 I've no idea why. 15 00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:18,119 Why would someone chuck barbecue coals? 16 00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:20,759 I have no idea what goes through that man's head. OK? 17 00:01:20,760 --> 00:01:23,839 It's some sort of game he's playing with me. Thinks he can get to me. 18 00:01:23,840 --> 00:01:26,039 You know, thinks he can get under my skin. 19 00:01:26,040 --> 00:01:27,720 RINGING TONE 20 00:01:29,640 --> 00:01:31,159 Who are you phoning? 21 00:01:31,160 --> 00:01:34,199 The council. Antisocial behaviour. 22 00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:36,280 It's only eight o'clock. There'll be no-one there. 23 00:01:38,880 --> 00:01:40,560 Right. I've got to go. 24 00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:43,679 Go and knock on for him and tell him to clean it up. 25 00:01:43,680 --> 00:01:45,879 But take photos first, all right? For evidence. 26 00:01:45,880 --> 00:01:49,039 And then phone the council and report it. 27 00:01:49,040 --> 00:01:50,839 Antisocial behaviour. 28 00:01:50,840 --> 00:01:52,559 Yes, sir. 29 00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:54,519 MUSIC: The Wise Man's Song by Cinder Wells 30 00:01:54,520 --> 00:01:57,079 ? I know we're older now 31 00:01:57,080 --> 00:01:59,520 ? And lost again 32 00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:07,319 ? Down at the cul-de-sac 33 00:02:07,320 --> 00:02:10,640 ? You left, my friend 34 00:02:13,040 --> 00:02:19,560 ? Will you come back, come back again? 35 00:02:23,680 --> 00:02:30,959 ? Will you come back, come back again? 36 00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:33,079 PHONE RINGS 37 00:02:33,080 --> 00:02:36,599 ? I put the kettle on 38 00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:40,239 ? The wise man sung for you ? 39 00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:41,600 Hi, Hilary. 40 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:44,640 OK, I'll come over. 41 00:02:55,640 --> 00:02:56,679 Oh, hello, love. 42 00:02:56,680 --> 00:02:58,559 Thanks for ringing. Is he OK? 43 00:02:58,560 --> 00:03:00,559 I don't know, love. He's stressing about something, 44 00:03:00,560 --> 00:03:03,039 but I can't figure it out. I don't think he really knows. 45 00:03:03,040 --> 00:03:05,120 - He's in his room. - Cheers. 46 00:03:19,640 --> 00:03:20,840 KNOCK AT DOOR 47 00:03:22,840 --> 00:03:27,239 Oh... Oh, it's you. They better not have called you. 48 00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:30,279 - Did they call you? - I've just come to see you, like I always do. 49 00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:31,800 I told them not to disturb you. 50 00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:37,439 What's up, Dad? Hilary says you're getting stressed. 51 00:03:37,440 --> 00:03:39,159 Are you worried about something? 52 00:03:39,160 --> 00:03:42,359 It's all this toot, you know, crowding me in. 53 00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:45,199 I-I-I'll have to sort it out. I can't find anything. 54 00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:46,519 OK, I can help you with that. 55 00:03:46,520 --> 00:03:47,879 Is there something that you're looking for? 56 00:03:47,880 --> 00:03:51,319 Yeah, well, what was it he said was lost? 57 00:03:51,320 --> 00:03:52,519 Something hidden. 58 00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:54,119 - Sorry, who's this? - Him! 59 00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:57,319 Him who came looking for something. 60 00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:58,879 A book, a bird book. 61 00:03:58,880 --> 00:04:01,799 Dad, you're getting in a state now. You're getting right confused. 62 00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:05,079 They're constantly getting at me, asking me to find things. 63 00:04:05,080 --> 00:04:08,279 OK, I'll tell you what, I can take some away today. 64 00:04:08,280 --> 00:04:10,519 Let's fill a box with stuff that you don't think you'll need, and I'll 65 00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:12,319 keep it at my house until you need it again. 66 00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:15,079 No, you can throw it all away. I don't want any of it. It's all junk. 67 00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:18,280 Come on, Dad, let's sort through some and we can take it from there. 68 00:04:21,600 --> 00:04:22,879 What you got there? 69 00:04:22,880 --> 00:04:24,999 It's my old pal Vic Wiffen. 70 00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:26,319 Passed away. 71 00:04:26,320 --> 00:04:29,159 Not, uh, not many of us left now. 72 00:04:29,160 --> 00:04:32,559 Oh, I'm sorry, Dad. That's your friend from Canada. 73 00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:36,239 Yeah, yeah. I got a letter from him only a week ago. 74 00:04:36,240 --> 00:04:41,200 I was always going to go and visit him but, uh, too late now. 75 00:04:42,720 --> 00:04:44,479 Did you just find this? 76 00:04:44,480 --> 00:04:45,599 Hmm? 77 00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:46,920 Nothing. 78 00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:49,919 You say you had a letter from him last week? 79 00:04:49,920 --> 00:04:52,840 Couple of days ago. It's on the side there. 80 00:04:56,360 --> 00:04:58,719 He asked about you. 81 00:04:58,720 --> 00:04:59,960 Always asked about you. 82 00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:32,600 Legend. 83 00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:38,439 Excuse me. 84 00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:40,720 - Hello, love. - Do you sell tit boxes? 85 00:06:42,120 --> 00:06:43,879 Tit boxes? 86 00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:44,920 Yes. 87 00:06:46,400 --> 00:06:49,160 - Boxes for...? - Tits. 88 00:06:50,440 --> 00:06:51,480 Hmm... 89 00:06:54,040 --> 00:06:55,440 Blue tits? 90 00:06:56,440 --> 00:06:58,919 - Like a nesting box? - Yes. 91 00:06:58,920 --> 00:07:02,800 They'll be in the garden section if we have them. It's, er... 92 00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:08,120 I'm sorry, it doesn't look like we do. 93 00:07:09,840 --> 00:07:11,120 Oh, well. 94 00:07:15,080 --> 00:07:19,039 I tell you what, I might be able to help. 95 00:07:19,040 --> 00:07:20,840 - Might you? - Yeah, think so. 96 00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:25,320 Can you come back in, like, an hour? 97 00:07:26,920 --> 00:07:29,839 Yeah, all right. I'll go do the rest of my shopping. 98 00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:32,519 Smashing. See you back here. 99 00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:34,960 - In an hour? - That's it. 100 00:07:38,320 --> 00:07:40,919 MUSIC: Nine Pound Hammer by Little Grasscals 101 00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:45,039 ? Oh, the nine-pound hammer is a little too heavy 102 00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:47,079 ? Baby, for my size 103 00:07:47,080 --> 00:07:49,439 ? Honey, for my size 104 00:07:49,440 --> 00:07:53,279 ? Roll on, buddy, don't you roll so slow 105 00:07:53,280 --> 00:07:58,080 ? How can I roll when the wheels won't roll? 106 00:08:13,320 --> 00:08:17,559 ? So roll on, buddy, don't you roll so slow 107 00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:21,039 ? How can I roll when the wheels won't go? ? 108 00:08:21,040 --> 00:08:22,839 Michael, what the hell...? 109 00:08:22,840 --> 00:08:27,479 DRILL WHIRS 110 00:08:27,480 --> 00:08:28,780 What the he...? 111 00:08:28,781 --> 00:08:30,080 DRILL WHIRS 112 00:08:34,440 --> 00:08:35,560 What are you doing? 113 00:08:36,640 --> 00:08:37,999 Tit box. 114 00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:39,599 Customer wanted one. 115 00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:43,079 Michael, what's wrong with you? This is not a... 116 00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:44,479 We don't... If we don't sell 117 00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:48,039 - something, we don't make it on... - Oh, here she comes. 118 00:08:48,040 --> 00:08:50,519 Hello, madam. There you go. 119 00:08:50,520 --> 00:08:53,119 Oh, that's lovely, thank you! 120 00:08:53,120 --> 00:08:54,439 Hello, Gordon. 121 00:08:54,440 --> 00:08:55,879 Hello, Mrs Stewart. 122 00:08:55,880 --> 00:08:57,479 How's your mum? She all right? 123 00:08:57,480 --> 00:08:59,439 She's well, thank you, Mrs Stewart. 124 00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:00,760 How much is this? 125 00:09:05,680 --> 00:09:08,880 Erm, it's on us, Mrs Stewart, with our compliments. 126 00:09:10,240 --> 00:09:13,039 Thanks! Give my love to your mum. 127 00:09:13,040 --> 00:09:14,400 Bye, love. 128 00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:23,919 Why didn't we come back to work yesterday? 129 00:09:23,920 --> 00:09:24,999 - "We"? - You. 130 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:26,879 You said "don't bother coming back". 131 00:09:26,880 --> 00:09:28,879 As a threat! 132 00:09:28,880 --> 00:09:32,399 As in, "if you leave, don't bother coming back because you're fired". 133 00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:35,999 An employer is not allowed to refuse an employee reasonable time off 134 00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:40,839 in order to deal with an unexpected event involving a dependant. 135 00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:43,359 - Well... - Because that would be unfair dismissal. 136 00:09:43,360 --> 00:09:46,079 - I... - And you would be guilty of unfair dismissal. 137 00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:48,880 - I... - And I would take you to court for unfair dismissal. 138 00:09:50,680 --> 00:09:51,960 Get this cleaned up. 139 00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:27,119 All right? 140 00:10:27,120 --> 00:10:28,160 Yeah. 141 00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:31,239 Here, listen to this. 142 00:10:31,240 --> 00:10:35,319 - My dad got this letter from his friend in Canada. - All right. 143 00:10:35,320 --> 00:10:37,599 "Dear Brian, thank you for your last letter. 144 00:10:37,600 --> 00:10:41,439 "All's well here across the pond although the winter's still..." 145 00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:42,600 Goes on a bit. 146 00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:48,199 And then, "How's your boy Michael? 147 00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:52,359 "I'm always interested to hear what he's up to. Is he well? 148 00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:55,519 "Did he ever find a new partner and settle down? 149 00:10:55,520 --> 00:10:58,279 "Is he happy these days? I hope so." 150 00:10:58,280 --> 00:11:01,240 Blah, blah, blah... "Your dear friend, Vic." 151 00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:04,159 So? 152 00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:06,359 Well, number one, I don't think I've ever met the bloke, so I don't know 153 00:11:06,360 --> 00:11:08,159 why he's so interested in what I'm up to. 154 00:11:08,160 --> 00:11:10,519 Well, he's just being friendly. 155 00:11:10,520 --> 00:11:13,439 And number two, he died over a decade ago. 156 00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:15,159 Died? 157 00:11:15,160 --> 00:11:18,519 Passed away, dead, in 2009. 158 00:11:18,520 --> 00:11:20,479 And how old's the letter? 159 00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:21,880 Written two weeks ago. 160 00:11:25,080 --> 00:11:27,240 - Canada? - Yep. 161 00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:31,959 Are you sure he's dead? 162 00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:34,199 I've seen the order of service from the funeral. 163 00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:37,359 I googled him, found his obituary. He's dead all right. 164 00:11:37,360 --> 00:11:39,079 Weird. 165 00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:40,799 Can ghosts write letters? 166 00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:42,320 I know they can't lick stamps. 167 00:11:44,440 --> 00:11:45,920 METALLIC SQUEAK 168 00:11:51,240 --> 00:11:52,280 All right, Michael? 169 00:11:53,640 --> 00:11:55,079 Hello, Brigham. 170 00:11:55,080 --> 00:11:57,120 - Kacey? - Brigham. 171 00:11:58,640 --> 00:12:01,279 - He was slagging you off yesterday. Gordon. - Oh, yeah? 172 00:12:01,280 --> 00:12:03,679 When you didn't come back to work. Said he was going to fire you. 173 00:12:03,680 --> 00:12:06,040 Yeah? Not that bothered. 174 00:12:07,680 --> 00:12:09,799 Not bothered about getting fired? 175 00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:11,760 Not really, if I'm honest. 176 00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:15,239 Don't... 177 00:12:15,240 --> 00:12:16,640 You don't want to... 178 00:12:19,320 --> 00:12:20,560 Are you OK? 179 00:12:22,560 --> 00:12:24,519 ..get yourself fired, mate. 180 00:12:24,520 --> 00:12:25,680 Why not? 181 00:12:27,360 --> 00:12:29,159 Who's going to make me laugh? 182 00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:31,160 Who's going to come to work on a long bike? 183 00:12:36,240 --> 00:12:37,760 Be shit without you here, mate. 184 00:12:41,480 --> 00:12:44,160 Right. Erm, cheers, Brigham. 185 00:12:45,360 --> 00:12:46,520 Whatever! 186 00:13:17,360 --> 00:13:18,800 PHONE RINGS 187 00:13:26,400 --> 00:13:28,119 - Hello? - It's Roy. 188 00:13:28,120 --> 00:13:30,919 - Can you speak? - Not really. 189 00:13:30,920 --> 00:13:33,359 I need to come over to the house with a surveyor. 190 00:13:33,360 --> 00:13:34,840 Why? When? 191 00:13:36,320 --> 00:13:37,679 You know why. 192 00:13:37,680 --> 00:13:39,039 When? 193 00:13:39,040 --> 00:13:41,399 - When's convenient? - None! No time! 194 00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:44,360 - OK. Well, I'm going to come now. - You can't - look, it's, it's not... 195 00:14:00,520 --> 00:14:02,600 Hey, how are you doing, Michael? 196 00:14:04,520 --> 00:14:07,919 - Yeah, not bad. - Er, I was just wondering if you had an update 197 00:14:07,920 --> 00:14:09,359 on the hedge situation? 198 00:14:09,360 --> 00:14:12,240 Yeah. Er, no. I'm sorry, I don't know. 199 00:14:13,280 --> 00:14:16,000 Well, I think the chaffinches might be gone by now, so... 200 00:14:17,560 --> 00:14:20,199 You had a bird book the other day. 201 00:14:20,200 --> 00:14:21,599 Yeah. The chaffinches. 202 00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:22,880 Where did you get it from? 203 00:14:24,120 --> 00:14:25,440 - The book? - Yes. 204 00:14:26,960 --> 00:14:29,039 Um, I think it was my dad's. 205 00:14:29,040 --> 00:14:30,359 My dad's? 206 00:14:30,360 --> 00:14:31,719 No, MY dad's. 207 00:14:31,720 --> 00:14:33,959 Did you go and see my dad? 208 00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:36,440 - Your dad? - Yes. At the nursing home? 209 00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:41,559 - Your dad? - And ask him for a bird book? 210 00:14:41,560 --> 00:14:44,639 You what? Sorry, I don't think I understand this conversation. 211 00:14:44,640 --> 00:14:45,919 Yes. 212 00:14:45,920 --> 00:14:47,200 It's confusing. 213 00:14:55,080 --> 00:14:57,439 MUSIC: Old Enough by Cinder Well 214 00:14:57,440 --> 00:14:58,960 ? Old enough 215 00:15:02,240 --> 00:15:07,400 ? You are old enough 216 00:15:09,360 --> 00:15:14,399 ? To know the way 217 00:15:14,400 --> 00:15:18,560 ? This is going 218 00:15:23,680 --> 00:15:26,520 ? Walk me home 219 00:15:28,680 --> 00:15:34,360 ? The long way home 220 00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:39,680 ? And go away 221 00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:44,720 ? You're not going 222 00:15:47,720 --> 00:15:53,679 ? I am golden in the evening 223 00:15:53,680 --> 00:16:00,559 ? We are bolder in the morning 224 00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:03,719 ? And the long grass 225 00:16:03,720 --> 00:16:06,759 ? It is grown 226 00:16:06,760 --> 00:16:09,879 ? Over the steps 227 00:16:09,880 --> 00:16:12,400 ? Of the door... ? 228 00:16:28,120 --> 00:16:29,400 DOORBELL CHIMES 229 00:16:29,401 --> 00:16:30,680 Oh, shit. 230 00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:39,999 Hello, Michael. I'm sorry. I'm not doing this to be a shit. 231 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:42,679 But, erm, I'm desperate, mate. 232 00:16:42,680 --> 00:16:44,399 I'm bankrupt. 233 00:16:44,400 --> 00:16:48,039 It's been a long time coming and this house, it belongs to me. 234 00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:50,159 Sorry. Who's that? 235 00:16:50,160 --> 00:16:51,479 She's a surveyor. 236 00:16:51,480 --> 00:16:54,759 I just wanted her to come and have a look around so we can figure out 237 00:16:54,760 --> 00:16:58,880 what needs to be done before people can start viewing the property. 238 00:17:01,040 --> 00:17:02,320 Nice to meet you, Michael. 239 00:17:04,320 --> 00:17:07,319 So, can we, erm... Can we come in, please? 240 00:17:07,320 --> 00:17:09,639 Well, I've set some chairs up in the garden, actually. 241 00:17:09,640 --> 00:17:11,639 We've come to see the house, mate, not the garden. 242 00:17:11,640 --> 00:17:14,159 Well, you need to give me more time to tidy up and stuff. 243 00:17:14,160 --> 00:17:17,719 Hey! I need some more time to tidy up. Roy! 244 00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:21,599 Jesus Christ, what is all this shit? What are you stockpiling? 245 00:17:21,600 --> 00:17:23,480 It's this way. Come through. 246 00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:29,880 Come through. It's this way. 247 00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:34,720 Erm... 248 00:17:38,440 --> 00:17:39,760 Oh, my God, look at this! 249 00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:44,279 It's Christmas, 1979! 250 00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:47,039 There's me, Mum, Clea. 251 00:17:47,040 --> 00:17:48,759 Yeah, would you like to come through? 252 00:17:48,760 --> 00:17:51,159 The Action Man helicopter. 253 00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:56,000 Mum thought it came with an Action Man, but didn't. 254 00:18:02,440 --> 00:18:04,040 I never did get an Action Man. 255 00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:06,360 It's this way. 256 00:18:11,520 --> 00:18:12,919 What's that? 257 00:18:12,920 --> 00:18:14,079 Manure. 258 00:18:14,080 --> 00:18:15,160 Stinks. 259 00:18:19,360 --> 00:18:22,679 The house is going on the market in three weeks' time, Michael. 260 00:18:22,680 --> 00:18:23,959 Three weeks? 261 00:18:23,960 --> 00:18:28,279 Sorry, Michael, you've got no choice. It's going to happen. 262 00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:31,199 - I'm sorry, I thought you were a surveyor. - Solicitor. 263 00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:32,959 You said that she was a surveyor. 264 00:18:32,960 --> 00:18:34,760 Did I? I meant solicitor. 265 00:18:36,280 --> 00:18:38,439 Well, I'll need to talk to my solicitor. 266 00:18:38,440 --> 00:18:41,159 - You don't have a solicitor. - Then I shall get a solicitor. 267 00:18:41,160 --> 00:18:43,919 - You should get one. - I'm going to get a solicitor. 268 00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:47,359 It would be much easier if I had a lawyer to deal with. 269 00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:48,959 Easier? For who? 270 00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:50,599 For everyone, Michael. Christ! 271 00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:54,479 Do not make this more difficult than it needs to be, please. 272 00:18:54,480 --> 00:18:57,679 And the house obviously needs to be cleared. 273 00:18:57,680 --> 00:19:00,199 - What's in the boxes? - I don't know. 274 00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:02,199 - What do you mean, you don't know? - I mean, I don't know. 275 00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:04,639 I don't know what's in the boxes. They're not mine. 276 00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:07,319 - Well, whose are they, then? - They're your sister's. 277 00:19:07,320 --> 00:19:09,839 They're Clea's. 278 00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:14,719 It's stock that she left behind in locks-ups when she went. 279 00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:17,240 Second-hand books, I think, mainly. 280 00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:22,159 Right, well we can help you to get rid of them. 281 00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:23,519 Oh, get rid of them? 282 00:19:23,520 --> 00:19:25,240 To figure out what to do with them. 283 00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:39,840 So, what else do you need to know? 284 00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:42,640 So much, mate. 285 00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:45,200 So much. 286 00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:55,599 Hiya, it's me. 287 00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:58,559 Do you want to come round? 288 00:19:58,560 --> 00:19:59,960 It's time. 289 00:20:12,560 --> 00:20:14,479 I think we should probably wear these too, 290 00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:16,159 - just to be on the safe side. - No, mate. 291 00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:18,399 Look, whatever's supposed to have happened to them in their little 292 00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:20,959 shit pit, has either happened or it hasn't, right? 293 00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:23,719 Me wearing a Dunelm dressing gown isn't going to change anything. 294 00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:25,080 Fair enough. 295 00:20:29,920 --> 00:20:33,000 Right, I'm going in. 296 00:20:36,280 --> 00:20:37,400 OK. 297 00:20:42,520 --> 00:20:44,719 - Hello, Kacey. - Hiya, Bev. 298 00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:47,559 This is Clive, my husband. Clive, this is Kacey. 299 00:20:47,560 --> 00:20:49,319 Oh, cool. How are you doing, Kacey? 300 00:20:49,320 --> 00:20:51,239 Has he got you slaving, has he? 301 00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:54,559 Slaving? No, mate, I'm just... I'm just helping out. 302 00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:57,599 Oh, God, yeah. Probably can't say that nowadays. 303 00:20:57,600 --> 00:20:59,319 - No, you can't. - Yeah. 304 00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:01,559 - It's a minefield, isn't it? - Yeah, not really. 305 00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:02,919 What are you wearing that for? 306 00:21:02,920 --> 00:21:04,919 Well, I don't want to get dirty, do I, Bev? 307 00:21:04,920 --> 00:21:06,159 You wally! 308 00:21:06,160 --> 00:21:09,160 - Right, I'll see you later, love. - See ya. - See you later, Kacey. 309 00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:13,919 - Why do you always do that? - Do what? 310 00:21:13,920 --> 00:21:16,599 - Pretend to be nice. - What the hell's that supposed to mean? 311 00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:18,479 Well, I know you're going to say something 312 00:21:18,480 --> 00:21:19,800 fucking horrible about her now. 313 00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:28,879 - Oh, I can't find 'em! - What...? 314 00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:30,879 They must've sunk into the ground. 315 00:21:30,880 --> 00:21:32,680 They should be right here. 316 00:21:35,800 --> 00:21:36,999 Argh! 317 00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:38,799 Ah! Oh! 318 00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:41,399 MUD SQUELCHES 319 00:21:41,400 --> 00:21:43,359 Kacey, I nearly went under! 320 00:21:43,360 --> 00:21:45,479 SHE LAUGHS 321 00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:47,759 What the...? What's going on? Where are they? 322 00:21:47,760 --> 00:21:50,239 I don't know. Just wa... Wait, wait. 323 00:21:50,240 --> 00:21:52,280 - Hold me arm. - I am! 324 00:21:54,760 --> 00:21:59,239 OK, OK, I've got 'em. Yeah, they've gone right under. 325 00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:01,599 - Oh. - Pull us out. 326 00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:03,280 Argh! 327 00:22:08,480 --> 00:22:10,320 We're going to have to rethink this. 328 00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:17,959 I can feel it. 329 00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:20,159 Is it the right way up? 330 00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:21,999 Yeah, I've got it by its neck. 331 00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:24,200 Right, give it a gentle pull. 332 00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:28,839 Here it comes. 333 00:22:28,840 --> 00:22:29,960 Gently. 334 00:22:43,080 --> 00:22:44,559 - You got it? - Yeah. 335 00:22:44,560 --> 00:22:46,240 OK, take her inside. 336 00:22:58,920 --> 00:22:59,960 STRAINING 337 00:22:59,961 --> 00:23:01,000 Here she comes. 338 00:23:06,960 --> 00:23:08,240 I've got her. 339 00:23:22,800 --> 00:23:24,199 Hurry up! 340 00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:25,840 All right! Bloody hell. 341 00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:31,400 Here. 342 00:23:36,840 --> 00:23:38,600 - Ugh! - Yeah. 343 00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:14,279 They've grown. 344 00:24:14,280 --> 00:24:17,679 Have they reached the stage of whatever? 345 00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:20,559 The state of divination. 346 00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:22,759 I don't know. 347 00:24:22,760 --> 00:24:24,199 How do you find out? 348 00:24:24,200 --> 00:24:26,000 I have to ask 'em a question. 349 00:24:33,840 --> 00:24:35,679 Go on, then. 350 00:24:35,680 --> 00:24:38,119 - I don't know what to ask. - Mate, you told me what you wanted to ask. 351 00:24:38,120 --> 00:24:41,479 Yeah, but we should ask them a test question first. 352 00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:43,400 You know, see if it works. 353 00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:48,839 - So, what can they answer questions on? - Anything. 354 00:24:48,840 --> 00:24:51,600 The future, the past, anything. 355 00:24:53,440 --> 00:24:56,240 OK. OK, yeah. 356 00:24:57,800 --> 00:24:59,359 We'll use these. 357 00:24:59,360 --> 00:25:02,639 Yeah? Pick a card and get it to tell us what it is. 358 00:25:02,640 --> 00:25:04,159 - OK. - Yeah. 359 00:25:04,160 --> 00:25:05,920 - How will it tell us? - Mate, I don't know. 360 00:25:09,240 --> 00:25:11,000 Go on, ask it. Talk to it. 361 00:25:15,160 --> 00:25:16,960 Do you want to play cards? 362 00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:21,439 - Yeah? Cards? - Your Majesty. 363 00:25:21,440 --> 00:25:25,920 Oh, yeah. Sorry. Erm, would you like to play cards, Your Majesty? 364 00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:31,319 OK! 365 00:25:31,320 --> 00:25:33,759 Er, OK, erm, Your Majesty, 366 00:25:33,760 --> 00:25:37,920 what card will I take from the top of the deck? 367 00:25:42,920 --> 00:25:44,599 - Whoa! - Oh, my God. 368 00:25:44,600 --> 00:25:46,080 The four of hearts. 369 00:25:48,040 --> 00:25:49,639 Wait. Shuffle them again. 370 00:25:49,640 --> 00:25:50,959 Why? He's chosen. 371 00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:53,399 Yeah, but if he's predicting the future, you can shuffle them again. 372 00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:55,319 You can shuffle them as many times as you like. 373 00:25:55,320 --> 00:25:56,680 It won't make a difference. 374 00:26:02,640 --> 00:26:03,880 Once more. 375 00:26:13,720 --> 00:26:15,199 Holy shit! 376 00:26:15,200 --> 00:26:16,639 OK! 377 00:26:16,640 --> 00:26:19,440 All right, Your Majesty, again. 378 00:26:24,400 --> 00:26:26,080 Seven of diamonds? 379 00:26:30,160 --> 00:26:31,480 {\an8}KACEY LAUGHS EXCITEDLY 380 00:26:32,760 --> 00:26:34,959 Well, I guess it works! 381 00:26:34,960 --> 00:26:39,239 OK! OK, so we know that they can predict the future. 382 00:26:39,240 --> 00:26:41,759 What else can they do? Can they... Can they solve a crime? 383 00:26:41,760 --> 00:26:44,079 - Tell you your deepest secret? - I suppose so. 384 00:26:44,080 --> 00:26:46,839 - What about someone else's secret? - Yeah. I suppose. 385 00:26:46,840 --> 00:26:50,079 Your Majesty, I would like you to tell me... 386 00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:52,439 ..when was the last time Michael cried? 387 00:26:52,440 --> 00:26:54,359 - Whoa! Whoa! Hang on, no. - I'm just asking her a question! 388 00:26:54,360 --> 00:26:55,880 You can't do that! 389 00:27:04,040 --> 00:27:06,439 - Did you cry at Brokeback Mountain? - Well, I mean, 390 00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:09,279 - you know, it's a sad film. - Brilliant! 391 00:27:09,280 --> 00:27:11,439 OK, what else? What else can we ask? 392 00:27:11,440 --> 00:27:13,239 Are there any sports happening now? 393 00:27:13,240 --> 00:27:15,680 There must be, somewhere in the world, right? 394 00:27:17,560 --> 00:27:21,159 Yes! Here. Copenhagen versus Skanderborg, 395 00:27:21,160 --> 00:27:23,279 Danish women's handball. 396 00:27:23,280 --> 00:27:24,959 There's, like, ten minutes left. 397 00:27:24,960 --> 00:27:26,720 OK, OK, so what do we ask? 398 00:27:27,920 --> 00:27:29,519 Your Majesty, 399 00:27:29,520 --> 00:27:33,359 right now, Ajax Kobenhavn... 400 00:27:33,360 --> 00:27:35,119 It's "eye-ax". 401 00:27:35,120 --> 00:27:39,239 ..are playing Skanderborg at home in Denmark. 402 00:27:39,240 --> 00:27:42,680 Can you tell me, will Copenhagen win? 403 00:27:44,960 --> 00:27:48,600 - OK. - So the other team, Skanderborg, are going to win? 404 00:27:50,360 --> 00:27:52,200 And what will the final score be? 405 00:27:54,400 --> 00:27:57,199 31-29. 406 00:27:57,200 --> 00:27:59,399 OK. What's the score now? 407 00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:00,879 28 all. 408 00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:02,079 Come on! 409 00:28:02,080 --> 00:28:04,560 DANISH COMMENTARY 410 00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:15,719 KACEY SQUEALS, MICHAEL LAUGHS 411 00:28:15,720 --> 00:28:17,640 Oh, my God! 412 00:28:19,960 --> 00:28:21,440 Come here! 413 00:28:23,080 --> 00:28:24,680 THEY CHEER 414 00:28:24,730 --> 00:28:29,280 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 29609

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