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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:39,574 --> 00:00:41,509 (INAUDIBLE) 2 00:00:45,379 --> 00:00:47,247 (CHILDREN CHEERING) 3 00:00:48,750 --> 00:00:51,318 (SNARE DRUM ROLLS) 4 00:00:55,222 --> 00:00:57,224 (CROWD CHEERING) 5 00:00:58,225 --> 00:01:00,160 (SNARE DRUM ROLLS) 6 00:01:04,666 --> 00:01:06,601 (DRUM ROLL CONTINUES) 7 00:01:14,676 --> 00:01:16,611 (DRUM ROLL CONTINUES) 8 00:01:18,345 --> 00:01:20,280 (CHILDREN CHEERING) 9 00:01:23,551 --> 00:01:25,618 (CHEERS, APPLAUSE) 10 00:01:25,620 --> 00:01:27,454 (SNARE DRUM ROLLS) 11 00:01:28,690 --> 00:01:30,658 (CHEERING) 12 00:02:03,190 --> 00:02:05,325 We need to call it, right? 13 00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:08,596 I think so too. 14 00:02:14,669 --> 00:02:15,603 (SPITS) 15 00:02:20,340 --> 00:02:21,473 (DOOR KNOB RATTLES) 16 00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:23,511 (DOOR CREAKS) 17 00:02:23,878 --> 00:02:25,546 -(WHISPERING) Hey. Hey, hey. -What? 18 00:02:26,346 --> 00:02:27,481 (TESS SHUSHES) 19 00:02:28,382 --> 00:02:29,216 Hey. 20 00:02:29,951 --> 00:02:31,416 They're sleeping. 21 00:02:31,418 --> 00:02:33,451 I know. (STAMMERS) Do you think that-- 22 00:02:33,453 --> 00:02:34,820 Should I pack a bag and check into a hotel? 23 00:02:34,822 --> 00:02:36,254 No, no. That's dramatic. What? 24 00:02:36,256 --> 00:02:38,189 No, I know, just with the... 25 00:02:38,191 --> 00:02:39,491 -Or I could-- -What? 26 00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:40,893 I could make up a bed down on the couch too, 27 00:02:40,895 --> 00:02:42,795 -if that's gonna be... -No, no, no. 28 00:02:42,797 --> 00:02:43,829 -Really? -That's not necessary. 29 00:02:43,831 --> 00:02:45,230 Let's just... 30 00:02:45,232 --> 00:02:46,799 -Okay, what-- -Oh... 31 00:02:46,801 --> 00:02:48,801 -ALEX: Hey, buddy, -TESS: Hey. Hey, buddy. 32 00:02:48,803 --> 00:02:50,938 -TESS: What are you doing up? -FELIX: Are you guys fighting? 33 00:02:51,405 --> 00:02:52,807 -TESS: No. -ALEX: No. No, no, no. 34 00:02:53,608 --> 00:02:55,407 No, actually, we're not-- we're not fighting at all. 35 00:02:55,409 --> 00:02:56,878 TESS: We never fight. 36 00:02:57,411 --> 00:02:58,476 FELIX: That's true. 37 00:02:58,478 --> 00:03:00,313 Go back to bed, baby, okay? 38 00:03:00,748 --> 00:03:03,450 Come here, Charlie. Come on. Outside. 39 00:03:03,785 --> 00:03:04,786 (DOOR CREAKS) 40 00:03:07,522 --> 00:03:09,857 Come on, Charlie. Charlie, come. 41 00:03:10,457 --> 00:03:11,624 -Come on, Charlie, let's go. -(TESS SIGHS) 42 00:03:11,626 --> 00:03:12,994 (TESS WHISPERS INDISTINCTLY) 43 00:03:16,831 --> 00:03:18,597 (HINGES SQUEAK, DOOR THUDS) 44 00:03:18,599 --> 00:03:20,601 (PANTING) 45 00:03:23,470 --> 00:03:24,772 (TESS SIGHS) 46 00:03:27,008 --> 00:03:29,240 (BOTH PANTING) 47 00:03:29,242 --> 00:03:30,678 -Our last hurrah. -What? 48 00:03:32,345 --> 00:03:33,815 -You know, just with the-- -Yeah, yeah. 49 00:03:34,782 --> 00:03:36,448 CHRISTINE: The other day, we were watching this, like, 50 00:03:36,450 --> 00:03:37,750 just one of those doomsday docs, right? 51 00:03:37,752 --> 00:03:38,984 You know, meteors, the Earth, wars, 52 00:03:38,986 --> 00:03:39,785 -everything, all that stuff. -STEPHEN: Uh-huh. 53 00:03:39,787 --> 00:03:40,986 CHRISTINE: And so, you know, he had 54 00:03:40,988 --> 00:03:42,487 the weirdest look on his face. 55 00:03:42,489 --> 00:03:43,723 And at the end of the doc, I looked at him, 56 00:03:43,725 --> 00:03:45,423 and I said, you know, 57 00:03:45,425 --> 00:03:47,860 "How do you feel about that? Does that bother you? Does it--" 58 00:03:47,862 --> 00:03:49,729 You know, fully expecting him to be like, 59 00:03:49,731 --> 00:03:51,496 "Hey, what-- What do we do about this?" 60 00:03:51,498 --> 00:03:52,898 Nothing. (SCOFFS) 61 00:03:52,900 --> 00:03:54,967 He's perfectly fine with the world coming to an end. 62 00:03:54,969 --> 00:03:56,769 He literally said, 63 00:03:56,771 --> 00:03:58,671 "Well, you know, I've had a good life up until now. 64 00:03:58,673 --> 00:04:00,005 What's there to be sad about?" 65 00:04:00,007 --> 00:04:03,341 Jalen, my 17-year-old boy. 66 00:04:03,343 --> 00:04:04,610 First of all, he's brilliant, right? 67 00:04:04,612 --> 00:04:06,946 He excels at everything he puts his mind to. 68 00:04:06,948 --> 00:04:09,347 But I just thought, "What kind of mindset is that?" 69 00:04:09,349 --> 00:04:12,852 My body does not say it, but I still feel... 70 00:04:12,854 --> 00:04:15,721 -like I'm 24 years old, at best. -(GLASS CLINKS) 71 00:04:15,723 --> 00:04:17,523 Thank you, babe. Shut up, Stephen. 72 00:04:17,525 --> 00:04:18,657 But, you know, seriously, though. 73 00:04:18,659 --> 00:04:20,358 I'm not ready for shit to end, right? 74 00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:21,996 -Are you? No? -STEPHEN: No. 75 00:04:22,362 --> 00:04:24,997 Well, because he lives in a world with the likelihood 76 00:04:24,999 --> 00:04:26,699 that we may blow ourselves up at any moment. 77 00:04:26,701 --> 00:04:27,800 TESS: What? 78 00:04:27,802 --> 00:04:28,934 GEOFFREY: But that's nothing new. 79 00:04:28,936 --> 00:04:29,869 We all grew up during the Cold War. 80 00:04:29,871 --> 00:04:31,369 TESS: Guys, it isn't that. 81 00:04:31,371 --> 00:04:32,403 STEPHEN: Yeah, but remember, we were scared. 82 00:04:32,405 --> 00:04:33,572 TESS: It's not that. He's alive. 83 00:04:33,574 --> 00:04:35,674 You know? He just goes. 84 00:04:35,676 --> 00:04:38,978 He goes for it every day. He crushes it every day. 85 00:04:38,980 --> 00:04:39,845 -STEPHEN: That's true. -CHRISTINE: Mm. Yeah. 86 00:04:39,847 --> 00:04:41,814 TESS: And he's in joy because of it. 87 00:04:41,816 --> 00:04:43,314 How 'bout joy? 88 00:04:43,316 --> 00:04:45,518 I mean, it's beautiful. 89 00:04:45,520 --> 00:04:47,987 Not giving a fuck about trying to be like other people 90 00:04:47,989 --> 00:04:49,657 or trying to be a grown-up. 91 00:04:49,857 --> 00:04:51,991 Uh! Fuck! 92 00:04:51,993 --> 00:04:53,324 ALEX: Wait, are you talking about me? 93 00:04:53,326 --> 00:04:54,794 No, somebody alive! (SCOFFS) 94 00:04:54,796 --> 00:04:56,061 -CHRISTINE: Shit. -Jesus. 95 00:04:56,063 --> 00:04:57,730 -TESS: (LAUGHS) I was joking! -Also dead. 96 00:04:57,732 --> 00:04:59,330 -(SCATTERED CHUCKLES) -(TESS CLEARS THROAT) 97 00:04:59,332 --> 00:05:01,401 Just joking. 98 00:05:01,803 --> 00:05:03,771 You are so alive, darling. 99 00:05:04,105 --> 00:05:05,070 -BALLS: Hey, I found it! -CHRISTINE: "Darling"? 100 00:05:05,072 --> 00:05:06,539 Yes. 101 00:05:06,541 --> 00:05:08,473 -TESS: Oh, shit! -CHRISTINE: Oh, my God! 102 00:05:08,475 --> 00:05:09,942 -TESS: Oh, my gosh. -STEPHEN: Are you all right? 103 00:05:09,944 --> 00:05:10,943 -ALEX: You all right? -(GROANS) 104 00:05:10,945 --> 00:05:13,045 TESS: Oh, my God. Are you okay? 105 00:05:13,047 --> 00:05:15,714 -Oh, the rug. I'm sorry-- -Fuck. What the absolute fuck? 106 00:05:15,716 --> 00:05:16,949 -CHRISTINE: Balls! -I'm sorry! 107 00:05:16,951 --> 00:05:18,784 I'll go. No, no, no, it's okay. 108 00:05:18,786 --> 00:05:20,753 -No, no! There's milk in it! -I'll get more. I'll get more. 109 00:05:20,755 --> 00:05:22,453 -Balls. No. -It's right around the corner. 110 00:05:22,455 --> 00:05:23,622 -She doesn't need it. -Stay, it's fine. 111 00:05:23,624 --> 00:05:24,757 -It's like every week. -I'm sorry. Sorry. 112 00:05:24,759 --> 00:05:26,091 CHRISTINE: God. 113 00:05:26,093 --> 00:05:27,425 TESS: Don't cry over spilled oat milk, okay? 114 00:05:27,427 --> 00:05:28,894 Yeah, this is fine for you. 115 00:05:28,896 --> 00:05:30,696 -Jesus. -Oh, my God. 116 00:05:30,698 --> 00:05:32,832 -It's literally everyday. -Balls, it's perfect. 117 00:05:32,834 --> 00:05:34,533 -CHRISTINE: Thank you. -ALEX: You all right? 118 00:05:34,535 --> 00:05:37,803 Uh, yeah. I'm a little... I'm just, like, a little nervous. 119 00:05:37,805 --> 00:05:39,006 -ALEX: Yeah, you seem it. -BALLS: 'Cause, uh... 120 00:05:40,007 --> 00:05:41,709 one of the guys is, uh... 121 00:05:43,578 --> 00:05:44,810 not gonna be there next Saturday matinee, 122 00:05:44,812 --> 00:05:46,647 so if you wanna come... 123 00:05:47,114 --> 00:05:49,782 Oh, wow. Shit. Do you know all his lines? 124 00:05:49,784 --> 00:05:51,786 His lines? Yeah, I know all the disciples' lines. 125 00:05:52,119 --> 00:05:54,019 -Of Christ? -Yeah. 126 00:05:54,021 --> 00:05:56,155 I'm just so grateful I can grow such a hefty beard. 127 00:05:56,157 --> 00:05:57,422 You know what I mean? Do I look like a disciple? 128 00:05:57,424 --> 00:05:59,058 -CHRISTINE: Babe, what? What? -Am I doing it wrong? I'm sorry. 129 00:05:59,060 --> 00:06:00,626 No? I'm sorry. 130 00:06:00,628 --> 00:06:02,460 -CHRISTINE: Oh, my God. -This always happens. 131 00:06:02,462 --> 00:06:04,063 Half of me is always living in the play. 132 00:06:04,065 --> 00:06:05,396 -CHRISTINE: Jesus. -BALLS: Yeah. 133 00:06:05,398 --> 00:06:06,565 It's the burden of my beautiful wife. 134 00:06:06,567 --> 00:06:07,900 -Oh, God. -(LAUGHTER) 135 00:06:07,902 --> 00:06:09,469 CHRISTINE: You got it, St. Paul. 136 00:06:09,670 --> 00:06:12,938 Mm. Living with an artist, guys. Living with an artist. 137 00:06:12,940 --> 00:06:14,607 By the way, Oyster Bay? 138 00:06:14,609 --> 00:06:15,808 -Yeah? -We call the primary. 139 00:06:15,810 --> 00:06:16,842 Wait, you can't call it this far out. 140 00:06:16,844 --> 00:06:17,843 Yes, we just did actually. 141 00:06:17,845 --> 00:06:18,978 CHRISTINE: Why not? Let them. 142 00:06:18,980 --> 00:06:20,445 BALLS: What do you mean? It's not forever. 143 00:06:20,447 --> 00:06:22,147 Let them. Babe, they're literally newlyweds. 144 00:06:22,149 --> 00:06:24,116 Plus, y'all two always take the love shack attic anyway. 145 00:06:24,118 --> 00:06:25,584 It's actually perfect. I love it. 146 00:06:25,586 --> 00:06:26,952 -Hey, you wanna know why? -Yeah. 147 00:06:26,954 --> 00:06:28,756 Because we made Jalen there. 148 00:06:28,990 --> 00:06:30,155 We're not making any more babies. 149 00:06:30,157 --> 00:06:31,624 -Yeah. -CHRISTINE: No. 150 00:06:31,626 --> 00:06:32,992 Well, you never know-- Oh no, that's true. 151 00:06:32,994 --> 00:06:33,993 You didn't even make your first two that way, right? 152 00:06:33,995 --> 00:06:35,194 CHRISTINE: Okay, wow. 153 00:06:35,196 --> 00:06:36,862 -ALEX: Dude. -CHRISTINE: That's enough. 154 00:06:36,864 --> 00:06:37,997 -No, please. Babe, stop, stop. -ALEX: All right. It's okay. 155 00:06:37,999 --> 00:06:39,464 -No, but you have to have sex. -Please stop talking. 156 00:06:39,466 --> 00:06:40,532 Okay. Sorry, sorry. 157 00:06:40,534 --> 00:06:41,834 TESS: We have sex, we just didn't-- 158 00:06:41,836 --> 00:06:43,135 You know what, you guys, 159 00:06:43,137 --> 00:06:44,169 maybe we should just kinda wrap this thing up? 160 00:06:44,171 --> 00:06:45,104 Wait, you did have sex to make--? 161 00:06:45,106 --> 00:06:46,005 ALEX: Yeah, yeah. You know what? We gotta-- 162 00:06:46,007 --> 00:06:47,306 That's too much gardening for you, please. 163 00:06:47,308 --> 00:06:50,776 I thought that they put it-- No, I thought you created a zygote. 164 00:06:50,778 --> 00:06:52,611 -I'm so tired. -Christine. 165 00:06:52,613 --> 00:06:55,114 -What? -You baking your cookies? 166 00:06:55,116 --> 00:06:56,615 Oh, um... 167 00:06:56,617 --> 00:06:58,217 Why? Why? Does it smell like cookies? 168 00:06:58,219 --> 00:06:59,184 Mm-hmm. 169 00:06:59,186 --> 00:07:00,485 Really? 170 00:07:00,487 --> 00:07:01,654 No, I just-- I think my kitchen 171 00:07:01,656 --> 00:07:03,789 just always smells like that. You know? 172 00:07:03,791 --> 00:07:06,060 And you know what? Also, I was heating the food in the oven. 173 00:07:06,527 --> 00:07:07,962 Do you want dessert? 174 00:07:08,696 --> 00:07:10,831 -We called an Uber. -We have fortune cookies. 175 00:07:11,132 --> 00:07:12,631 BALLS: Do you remember Macaulay Culkin? 176 00:07:12,633 --> 00:07:14,867 When they came back, he was changed forever. 177 00:07:14,869 --> 00:07:16,804 -And I believed it. -Babe. Let's walk them out. 178 00:07:17,470 --> 00:07:18,871 You asked her about it specifically? 179 00:07:18,873 --> 00:07:20,007 Yeah. She lied. 180 00:07:20,207 --> 00:07:21,474 Oh... 181 00:07:22,410 --> 00:07:24,645 She was hiding 'em till after we'd all gone. 182 00:07:25,212 --> 00:07:27,980 When they get even higher as fuck. Right? 183 00:07:27,982 --> 00:07:30,151 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 184 00:07:31,118 --> 00:07:33,054 ALEX: And Christine, when she's not high? 185 00:07:34,121 --> 00:07:35,523 -TESS: So grumpy. -ALEX: Ugh. 186 00:07:39,226 --> 00:07:40,094 ALEX: Good thing we didn't tell 'em. 187 00:07:42,263 --> 00:07:43,864 Would've been too much for them to take. 188 00:07:44,699 --> 00:07:46,634 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 189 00:07:54,175 --> 00:07:56,143 (TRAIN RUMBLING) 190 00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:01,983 Maybe I laid it on a little too thick. 191 00:08:02,183 --> 00:08:03,150 Too thick? 192 00:08:04,719 --> 00:08:05,920 What? 193 00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:09,054 Why, 'cause one time you called me darling? 194 00:08:09,056 --> 00:08:10,024 That's like... 195 00:08:11,726 --> 00:08:13,292 I mean, if that's your idea 196 00:08:13,294 --> 00:08:15,627 of laying it on too thick, I mean, that's-- 197 00:08:15,629 --> 00:08:16,964 Okay, okay! 198 00:08:17,231 --> 00:08:19,133 (BRAKES HISSING DISTANTLY) 199 00:08:27,541 --> 00:08:28,542 You took one? 200 00:08:28,876 --> 00:08:30,111 Fuck yeah. 201 00:08:30,845 --> 00:08:35,082 When I went to the bathroom, I was stealing it. 202 00:08:37,651 --> 00:08:38,853 It's gonna make you really fucking high. 203 00:08:40,187 --> 00:08:41,789 That's the idea. 204 00:08:46,627 --> 00:08:47,695 Mm. 205 00:08:48,029 --> 00:08:49,964 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 206 00:08:52,666 --> 00:08:54,802 (INDISTINCT ANNOUNCEMENT) 207 00:09:00,975 --> 00:09:02,176 Fuck it. 208 00:09:04,645 --> 00:09:06,247 (SOFT BEEP) 209 00:09:12,053 --> 00:09:13,287 -You ate more than I did. -(TESS LAUGHS) 210 00:09:14,622 --> 00:09:15,956 (SOFT BEEP) 211 00:09:19,693 --> 00:09:21,860 Oh shit, that was probably really stupid. 212 00:09:21,862 --> 00:09:23,964 TESS: (LAUGHS) I love it. 213 00:09:24,865 --> 00:09:26,167 Oh, my God. (LAUGHS) 214 00:09:34,942 --> 00:09:36,341 (BOTH LAUGH) 215 00:09:36,343 --> 00:09:37,810 Wait. What are you doing? 216 00:09:37,812 --> 00:09:38,846 Oh, my God. What am I doing? 217 00:09:39,613 --> 00:09:41,248 Sorry. Shit. 218 00:09:42,817 --> 00:09:43,816 (TRAIN DOOR HISSES) 219 00:09:43,818 --> 00:09:44,883 Oh! 220 00:09:44,885 --> 00:09:45,820 Shit. 221 00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:47,822 Hey. Hey! 222 00:09:49,356 --> 00:09:50,591 You okay? 223 00:09:51,058 --> 00:09:52,858 Are you gonna be okay? 224 00:09:52,860 --> 00:09:54,693 (LAUGHS) 225 00:09:54,695 --> 00:09:56,363 -I think so. -Yeah? 226 00:09:57,731 --> 00:09:58,997 You're okay? 227 00:09:58,999 --> 00:10:00,868 Yeah. The cookie hasn't hit me yet. 228 00:10:02,803 --> 00:10:04,403 I'm gonna be okay. 229 00:10:04,405 --> 00:10:05,339 I'll be okay. 230 00:10:12,646 --> 00:10:14,115 (TRAIN RUMBLING ECHOES) 231 00:10:19,153 --> 00:10:20,085 -(CAR HORN HONKS) -(LAUGHTER) 232 00:10:20,087 --> 00:10:21,687 Holy shit. 233 00:10:21,689 --> 00:10:22,656 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 234 00:10:26,327 --> 00:10:28,796 (DEEP PULSING) 235 00:10:30,764 --> 00:10:33,300 (DISTANT PERCUSSION) 236 00:10:37,238 --> 00:10:38,772 (CAR HORN HONKS) 237 00:10:40,207 --> 00:10:42,143 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 238 00:10:49,416 --> 00:10:51,318 (INDISTINCT CHATTER CONTINUES) 239 00:11:01,929 --> 00:11:04,765 (DEEP PULSING) 240 00:11:10,938 --> 00:11:12,106 What's up? 241 00:11:12,773 --> 00:11:14,339 I just wanna come in and get a drink. 242 00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:15,376 Yeah, 15 buck cover. 243 00:11:17,011 --> 00:11:18,779 -To get a drink? -It's comedy. 244 00:11:21,315 --> 00:11:22,216 Is it funny? 245 00:11:23,984 --> 00:11:25,252 It's 15 bucks, man. 246 00:11:25,786 --> 00:11:27,186 Yeah, you already said that. 247 00:11:27,188 --> 00:11:29,221 Look, man, I don't have any money on me. 248 00:11:29,223 --> 00:11:30,791 Yeah, I don't know what to tell you. 249 00:11:31,725 --> 00:11:32,991 -Hey. -Yo. 250 00:11:32,993 --> 00:11:34,028 -Good luck. -Thank you. 251 00:11:35,429 --> 00:11:36,929 How come she didn't have to pay 15 bucks? 252 00:11:36,931 --> 00:11:37,998 She put her name down. 253 00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:42,334 (OVERLAPPING CHATTER) 254 00:11:42,336 --> 00:11:43,337 BARTENDER: Well, you're welcome. 255 00:11:44,271 --> 00:11:46,774 All right. Alex Novak, downstairs in two minutes. 256 00:11:48,409 --> 00:11:49,743 That's me. 257 00:11:50,211 --> 00:11:51,412 Well, you better head down there, then. 258 00:11:52,146 --> 00:11:53,979 -Where? -Just straight behind you. 259 00:11:53,981 --> 00:11:55,180 Down the stairs. 260 00:11:55,182 --> 00:11:57,117 (OVERLAPPING CHATTER) 261 00:12:02,990 --> 00:12:04,823 Hey, hey. Hey. 262 00:12:04,825 --> 00:12:06,760 Why don't you leave that right over there with the other ones? 263 00:12:07,294 --> 00:12:08,862 -Right here? -Yeah. They'll watch it. 264 00:12:12,766 --> 00:12:13,834 Okay. 265 00:12:14,235 --> 00:12:16,170 (OVERLAPPING CHATTER) 266 00:12:19,073 --> 00:12:21,541 (INDISTINCT CHATTER ON MICROPHONE) 267 00:12:21,543 --> 00:12:22,542 FEMALE COMEDIAN: Oh, my God. It's completely different. 268 00:12:22,544 --> 00:12:24,843 Like, you cannot have casual sex with a woman. 269 00:12:24,845 --> 00:12:26,144 Okay? You can't do it. 270 00:12:26,146 --> 00:12:29,515 You have to buy her dinner, um, at least. 271 00:12:29,517 --> 00:12:31,283 With men, I am the dinner. 272 00:12:31,285 --> 00:12:32,951 (LAUGHTER) 273 00:12:32,953 --> 00:12:36,054 It's easy. It's easy. It's simple. It's simple. 274 00:12:36,056 --> 00:12:37,789 -Sorry. -What up, man? 275 00:12:37,791 --> 00:12:39,360 -They called me. -Yeah. 276 00:12:40,394 --> 00:12:42,261 When you see the light, just get off, all right? 277 00:12:42,263 --> 00:12:43,862 (COMEDIAN CONTINUES) 278 00:12:43,864 --> 00:12:45,964 There you go. Just talk to 'em, have fun. 279 00:12:45,966 --> 00:12:47,432 FEMALE COMEDIAN: ...orgasm from a man who embarrasses you. 280 00:12:47,434 --> 00:12:50,202 No, I'm leaving. I'm leaving. I'm going. 281 00:12:50,204 --> 00:12:53,038 (LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE) 282 00:12:53,040 --> 00:12:54,439 FEMALE EMCEE: Okay. 283 00:12:54,441 --> 00:12:57,075 That's Rolo, everybody! That was really funny. 284 00:12:57,077 --> 00:12:59,978 Alrighty, I got a lot of familiar names on here, 285 00:12:59,980 --> 00:13:01,813 but I'm gonna shake it up a bit. 286 00:13:01,815 --> 00:13:05,350 Uh, let's put your hands together for Alec Novak? 287 00:13:05,352 --> 00:13:06,586 Alec Novak. 288 00:13:06,588 --> 00:13:09,021 (CHEERS, APPLAUSE) 289 00:13:09,023 --> 00:13:10,391 Alec Novak, everybody. 290 00:13:12,293 --> 00:13:13,093 MAN IN CROWD: Alec! 291 00:13:14,161 --> 00:13:16,096 (CHEERS, APPLAUSE DISSIPATE) 292 00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:19,867 (CHUCKLES) 293 00:13:28,208 --> 00:13:29,443 Um... 294 00:13:31,945 --> 00:13:33,213 (GASPS, CLEARS THROAT) 295 00:13:34,315 --> 00:13:36,016 I don't have a ton of jokes. 296 00:13:38,553 --> 00:13:40,218 And, uh... 297 00:13:40,220 --> 00:13:43,490 Actually my name is Alex Novak, uh, for that lady. 298 00:13:45,359 --> 00:13:47,127 (CHUCKLES) It's okay. 299 00:13:48,228 --> 00:13:49,597 My parents won't be mad. 300 00:13:52,933 --> 00:13:54,134 Um... 301 00:13:56,003 --> 00:13:57,171 What do I tell ya? 302 00:13:58,372 --> 00:13:59,940 Um... 303 00:14:03,243 --> 00:14:05,012 I think I'm getting a divorce. 304 00:14:06,980 --> 00:14:08,082 Yeah. 305 00:14:11,452 --> 00:14:13,185 What tipped me off was that, uh, 306 00:14:13,187 --> 00:14:15,655 I'm living, um, in an apartment on my own. 307 00:14:15,657 --> 00:14:17,489 (LAUGHTER) 308 00:14:17,491 --> 00:14:19,057 Yeah. 309 00:14:19,059 --> 00:14:21,293 And my wife and kids don't live there. So... 310 00:14:21,295 --> 00:14:23,263 (LAUGHTER) 311 00:14:24,666 --> 00:14:26,367 That was probably the-- the biggest clue. 312 00:14:29,136 --> 00:14:30,137 Um... 313 00:14:33,374 --> 00:14:34,375 (SIGHS) 314 00:14:38,479 --> 00:14:40,615 I was, uh... Well, I was married for 20 years. 315 00:14:42,216 --> 00:14:44,051 -(SCATTERED WHOOPING) -Yeah. 316 00:14:44,652 --> 00:14:46,654 Uh, engaged-- Uh, engaged for two years. 317 00:14:47,955 --> 00:14:49,156 Dated for three. 318 00:14:52,226 --> 00:14:55,530 And... met a year before that. 319 00:14:58,031 --> 00:14:59,433 So, 26 years. 320 00:15:02,236 --> 00:15:03,303 Which makes sense... 321 00:15:04,938 --> 00:15:07,005 now, because my wife used to say being married to me 322 00:15:07,007 --> 00:15:08,508 was like running a marathon. 323 00:15:08,510 --> 00:15:10,477 (LAUGHTER) 324 00:15:12,346 --> 00:15:14,516 I don't really know what happened, um... 325 00:15:17,251 --> 00:15:18,450 to my marriage. Uh... 326 00:15:18,452 --> 00:15:23,123 I came home one day, um... and my... 327 00:15:25,426 --> 00:15:27,194 I guess, still wife, but... 328 00:15:28,429 --> 00:15:30,197 Uh, Tess was her name. 329 00:15:32,065 --> 00:15:35,302 -Her name is still Tess. -(LAUGHTER) 330 00:15:37,070 --> 00:15:39,438 I plan on, uh, letting her keep that in the divorce. 331 00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:41,273 (LAUGHTER) 332 00:15:41,275 --> 00:15:42,644 (ALEX LAUGHS) 333 00:15:44,211 --> 00:15:45,477 Um... 334 00:15:45,479 --> 00:15:48,282 Yeah, I-- I came home, and, um... 335 00:15:49,016 --> 00:15:51,686 there was a conversation, I remember, and somebody said... 336 00:15:54,221 --> 00:15:58,225 It, um... "Should we end this thing?" 337 00:15:58,726 --> 00:16:00,461 And then there was an agreement. 338 00:16:02,196 --> 00:16:04,198 Um, I'm pretty sure she said-- (STAMMERS) 339 00:16:06,300 --> 00:16:08,366 This is what she meant about not paying attention. 340 00:16:08,368 --> 00:16:11,269 (LAUGHTER) 341 00:16:11,271 --> 00:16:13,474 Yeah, she-- I came home. 342 00:16:15,108 --> 00:16:16,544 And, uh... 343 00:16:17,144 --> 00:16:20,047 I guess we both agreed it was over. 344 00:16:20,414 --> 00:16:23,583 Which is awesome... that at least we agreed on that. 345 00:16:23,585 --> 00:16:25,553 (SOFT LAUGHTER) 346 00:16:26,788 --> 00:16:28,688 It was less awesome for our two kids. 347 00:16:28,690 --> 00:16:31,156 -(AUDIENCE AWWS) -Yeah. 348 00:16:31,158 --> 00:16:32,326 It's okay. They're ten. 349 00:16:34,796 --> 00:16:36,531 The-- They're not-- They're not twins. 350 00:16:37,498 --> 00:16:38,700 They're Irish twins. 351 00:16:41,101 --> 00:16:42,202 Which is... 352 00:16:44,137 --> 00:16:46,104 ...why I pulled an Irish goodbye when I left. 353 00:16:46,106 --> 00:16:48,340 (AUDIENCE OHHS, LAUGHTER) 354 00:16:48,342 --> 00:16:49,644 Oh, come on. 355 00:16:50,210 --> 00:16:51,544 I thought you guys told-- (LAUGHS) 356 00:16:51,546 --> 00:16:52,778 I thought this was a comedy... 357 00:16:52,780 --> 00:16:55,015 -(LAUGHTER) -...show. 358 00:16:57,619 --> 00:16:59,052 Anyway, um... 359 00:17:00,287 --> 00:17:02,724 I think I earned my keep here. Um... 360 00:17:05,827 --> 00:17:07,693 What do I say? My name's Alex. 361 00:17:07,695 --> 00:17:12,430 (CHEERS, APPLAUSE) 362 00:17:12,432 --> 00:17:14,099 Alex Novak, everybody. 363 00:17:14,101 --> 00:17:15,501 ALEX: Sorry. Is there a bathroom here? 364 00:17:15,503 --> 00:17:19,605 EMCEE: Wow. All right, let's hear it for Jill McKenzie. 365 00:17:19,607 --> 00:17:22,710 -There she is. There she is. -(CHEERS, APPLAUSE) 366 00:17:24,311 --> 00:17:26,478 Keep it going for Kemp, you guys. Kemp rules. 367 00:17:26,480 --> 00:17:27,549 What's up? 368 00:17:28,482 --> 00:17:30,616 The side part is the skinny part. Agreed? 369 00:17:30,618 --> 00:17:33,451 Now, the skinny part, the side part-- same part. 370 00:17:33,453 --> 00:17:35,755 Same size, same part. You know what I'm talking about? 371 00:17:35,757 --> 00:17:37,489 You take it out and-- 372 00:17:37,491 --> 00:17:39,761 ♪ Allez, allez, allez ♪ 373 00:17:40,427 --> 00:17:42,697 ♪ Allez, allez, allez ♪ 374 00:17:43,230 --> 00:17:45,132 You have to favor a labia? 375 00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:47,769 ♪ We've conquered All of Europe ♪ 376 00:17:48,335 --> 00:17:50,237 ♪ We're never gonna stop ♪ 377 00:17:51,639 --> 00:17:53,541 ♪ Allez, allez, allez ♪ 378 00:17:54,842 --> 00:17:57,144 ♪ Allez, allez, allez ♪ 379 00:17:57,812 --> 00:17:59,344 because she wants me to feel good. 380 00:17:59,346 --> 00:18:01,279 Like, for instance, she's like a hot girl. 381 00:18:01,281 --> 00:18:02,582 You know what I mean? Like, she has the vagina 382 00:18:02,584 --> 00:18:04,249 that fits the little underwear, okay? 383 00:18:04,251 --> 00:18:05,585 -(LAUGHTER) -She goes... And she... 384 00:18:05,587 --> 00:18:07,319 What was the advice she gave me? 385 00:18:07,321 --> 00:18:08,486 Oh, she said, "Boundaries?" 386 00:18:08,488 --> 00:18:09,622 You guys know about these boundaries? 387 00:18:09,624 --> 00:18:11,222 You guys talk about these boundaries? 388 00:18:11,224 --> 00:18:12,625 -She goes... -First time? 389 00:18:12,627 --> 00:18:14,359 She goes, um, "You need to learn how to set boundaries." 390 00:18:14,361 --> 00:18:15,728 Yeah. 391 00:18:15,730 --> 00:18:17,262 Stick around. Support your fellow comics. 392 00:18:17,264 --> 00:18:18,798 "I told my boyfriend he has to text me 393 00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:20,465 every night before bed, 394 00:18:20,467 --> 00:18:22,233 'Goodnight, I love you' or it's over." 395 00:18:22,235 --> 00:18:24,169 (LAUGHTER) 396 00:18:24,171 --> 00:18:26,639 And she goes, "Now, he texts me every night before bed, 397 00:18:26,641 --> 00:18:28,808 'Goodnight, I love you.' And now everything's great." 398 00:18:28,810 --> 00:18:31,242 And I was like, "Oh, thank-- thank you. Thanks." 399 00:18:31,244 --> 00:18:33,779 If I said that to any man I've ever dated, they would be like, 400 00:18:33,781 --> 00:18:35,280 "Oh, perfect. I was on the fence anyway. 401 00:18:35,282 --> 00:18:36,348 Get the fuck outta here, bitch." 402 00:18:36,350 --> 00:18:37,783 (LAUGHTER) 403 00:18:37,785 --> 00:18:40,151 You know what, I'm not fucking calling in favors. 404 00:18:40,153 --> 00:18:41,887 With me in a relationship, it's me going, "No, dude." 405 00:18:41,889 --> 00:18:44,790 I... I gotta date better men. I have to. 406 00:18:44,792 --> 00:18:46,726 My girlfriends are dating men who are, like, 407 00:18:46,728 --> 00:18:49,327 running 10Ks on the weekends for fun. 408 00:18:49,329 --> 00:18:51,797 My ex wouldn't let me touch his Magic: The Gathering cards 409 00:18:51,799 --> 00:18:53,933 'cause he was worried that I would bend them. 410 00:18:53,935 --> 00:18:56,403 They didn't say nothing about my sister's new ass. 411 00:18:56,671 --> 00:18:57,903 Not even a warning. 412 00:18:57,905 --> 00:18:59,304 Just a warning would have been nice. 413 00:18:59,306 --> 00:19:00,673 -Something. Anything. -(LAUGHTER) 414 00:19:00,675 --> 00:19:02,742 "Hey Reggie, go in the kitchen. 415 00:19:02,744 --> 00:19:04,710 Meg Thee Stallion is in there." 416 00:19:04,712 --> 00:19:07,379 Now, I don't feel bad for looking at my sister's new butt. 417 00:19:07,381 --> 00:19:09,447 ...on PS5. Kung fu game. 418 00:19:09,449 --> 00:19:10,450 Got it right now? 419 00:19:13,588 --> 00:19:16,390 -(DISTANT SIRENS WAIL) -(GLASS BOTTLE BREAKS) 420 00:19:28,703 --> 00:19:29,871 (DOOR CLOSES) 421 00:19:30,404 --> 00:19:32,339 (DISTANT CAR HORN, SIREN) 422 00:19:33,741 --> 00:19:34,876 (KEYS JINGLE) 423 00:19:46,621 --> 00:19:48,388 (SIGHS) 424 00:19:51,659 --> 00:19:52,426 (EXHALES SHARPLY) 425 00:19:54,562 --> 00:19:56,463 (SIRENS WAILING, CAR HORNS HONKING) 426 00:20:08,009 --> 00:20:09,675 So, what happens now? 427 00:20:09,677 --> 00:20:11,979 Between, you know, Mom and you? 428 00:20:12,547 --> 00:20:13,913 ALEX: What do you mean? 429 00:20:13,915 --> 00:20:17,415 Well, you know, you guys told us that you separated? 430 00:20:17,417 --> 00:20:18,784 ALEX: Yeah. 431 00:20:18,786 --> 00:20:20,788 Does that mean you're going to get divorced? 432 00:20:21,956 --> 00:20:23,656 Well, I... (SIGHS) 433 00:20:23,658 --> 00:20:25,323 -Remember that dragon? -FELIX: What dragon? 434 00:20:25,325 --> 00:20:27,392 At the... at the assembly. 435 00:20:27,394 --> 00:20:29,528 The school assembly. The big red dragon. 436 00:20:29,530 --> 00:20:31,431 JUDE: You mean the lion? 437 00:20:31,733 --> 00:20:33,331 Was it a lion? Looked like a dragon. 438 00:20:33,333 --> 00:20:34,600 JUDE: It only had two people in it. 439 00:20:34,602 --> 00:20:36,267 Huh. 440 00:20:36,269 --> 00:20:38,003 What does a dragon have to do with anything? 441 00:20:38,005 --> 00:20:39,705 -It was a lion. -ALEX: Whatever it was, 442 00:20:39,707 --> 00:20:41,406 -lion or dragon. -JUDE: Lion. 443 00:20:41,408 --> 00:20:43,509 It was big and it was brave, 444 00:20:43,511 --> 00:20:45,544 and that's what I need you guys to be. 445 00:20:45,546 --> 00:20:47,046 JUDE: That's not it at all. 446 00:20:47,048 --> 00:20:48,647 The lion chews up the lettuce, 447 00:20:48,649 --> 00:20:50,883 and that brings us wealth and prosperity for the new year. 448 00:20:50,885 --> 00:20:53,487 Right. That's it. That's exactly it. Right. 449 00:20:53,955 --> 00:20:55,688 Are you going to feed the lion, Dad? 450 00:20:55,690 --> 00:20:57,290 Me? I don't know, I... 451 00:20:57,759 --> 00:20:59,558 Are you? 452 00:20:59,560 --> 00:21:01,961 I fed it because I have goals this year I want to achieve. 453 00:21:01,963 --> 00:21:03,461 Do you have goals, Dad? 454 00:21:03,463 --> 00:21:04,764 No, of course I do. Of course-- 455 00:21:04,766 --> 00:21:06,567 -Dad, you should have goals. -We have goals. 456 00:21:08,803 --> 00:21:09,769 Good night, guys. 457 00:21:09,771 --> 00:21:10,703 -Settle in. -Dad-- 458 00:21:10,705 --> 00:21:11,737 Settle in. All right. 459 00:21:11,739 --> 00:21:13,471 -Love you. -Love you, too. 460 00:21:13,473 --> 00:21:15,406 Get down there. Get down there. 461 00:21:15,408 --> 00:21:17,310 All right, you guys. Good night, guys. 462 00:21:18,646 --> 00:21:20,347 -No talking, all right, guys? -Okay. 463 00:21:27,522 --> 00:21:28,754 (MURMURING INDISTINCTLY) 464 00:21:28,756 --> 00:21:30,756 MARILYN: I haven't told your father. 465 00:21:30,758 --> 00:21:31,857 ALEX: What? 466 00:21:31,859 --> 00:21:33,626 Entre nous. 467 00:21:33,628 --> 00:21:35,961 No, Mom, there is no entre nous. We don't have any secrets. 468 00:21:35,963 --> 00:21:37,663 The boys know everything. You don't have to whisper. 469 00:21:37,665 --> 00:21:38,964 Well, you don't have to embarrass me. 470 00:21:38,966 --> 00:21:40,065 I just told you your father doesn't know. 471 00:21:40,067 --> 00:21:41,801 -Okay-- -What doesn't Grandpa know? 472 00:21:41,803 --> 00:21:43,536 That Mom and I are splitting up. 473 00:21:43,538 --> 00:21:44,904 Oh. 474 00:21:44,906 --> 00:21:46,071 Think you should tell him, Dada. 475 00:21:46,073 --> 00:21:47,640 -Great. -Yes, son, that's up to you. 476 00:21:47,642 --> 00:21:48,741 It's got nothing to do with me. 477 00:21:48,743 --> 00:21:49,909 Yeah, well tell that to our marriage. 478 00:21:49,911 --> 00:21:51,577 Look how you're going on. 479 00:21:51,579 --> 00:21:54,780 And stop being jealous of my friendship with Tess. 480 00:21:54,782 --> 00:21:57,382 I adore her. I love her so much. 481 00:21:57,384 --> 00:21:58,851 -Dad! Dad? -Yeah. I know it. What? 482 00:21:58,853 --> 00:22:00,351 -And you know something? -Dad! 483 00:22:00,353 --> 00:22:02,555 Look, you two have always been very different. 484 00:22:02,557 --> 00:22:03,421 Yeah, and you and Dad are twins? 485 00:22:03,423 --> 00:22:04,723 FELIX: Dad? Dad? 486 00:22:04,725 --> 00:22:06,424 Your father is an immigrant to this country. 487 00:22:06,426 --> 00:22:08,359 -I know that. -And I've always been a woman 488 00:22:08,361 --> 00:22:09,662 who wants the taste of the exotic. 489 00:22:09,664 --> 00:22:11,462 -And that's what makes it work. -Mom! Jesus, Mom. 490 00:22:11,464 --> 00:22:12,463 I'm just saying this in front of the children... 491 00:22:12,465 --> 00:22:13,899 Can I have another apple juice? 492 00:22:13,901 --> 00:22:15,067 -I already said no. -...because there's no secrets, 493 00:22:15,069 --> 00:22:18,103 -so... Just pick a lane, okay? -I know. 494 00:22:18,105 --> 00:22:19,941 -FELIX: Why not? -For crying out loud. 495 00:22:20,708 --> 00:22:21,807 JUDE: Felix, it's your turn. 496 00:22:21,809 --> 00:22:23,609 Mom, do you have any... 497 00:22:23,611 --> 00:22:25,044 Do you have any more of those juice boxes? 498 00:22:25,046 --> 00:22:26,979 Your father drank them all. 499 00:22:26,981 --> 00:22:28,981 JAN: It's got little pretzels on it. 500 00:22:28,983 --> 00:22:30,983 ALEX: They're all individual pretzels? 501 00:22:30,985 --> 00:22:32,685 They all started individual, 502 00:22:32,687 --> 00:22:34,954 and then I, uh, glued most of them together. 503 00:22:34,956 --> 00:22:36,088 ALEX: Oh, oh. 504 00:22:36,090 --> 00:22:37,790 JAN: There's one or two separate. 505 00:22:37,792 --> 00:22:39,457 ALEX: And you have the mustard and the ketchup there, too. 506 00:22:39,459 --> 00:22:40,526 JAN: Yeah, yeah, yeah. 507 00:22:40,528 --> 00:22:41,994 But the guy's got the day off. 508 00:22:41,996 --> 00:22:43,494 -You know? -(ALEX LAUGHS) 509 00:22:43,496 --> 00:22:44,830 He's got the day off like the rest of the town. 510 00:22:44,832 --> 00:22:46,734 Everybody's taking today off. 511 00:22:47,635 --> 00:22:49,737 She thinks I don't know, but I know. 512 00:22:50,403 --> 00:22:51,804 Here, put that there. 513 00:22:51,806 --> 00:22:52,640 And, uh... 514 00:22:54,175 --> 00:22:55,843 For me, it's no big deal. 515 00:22:56,777 --> 00:22:59,745 ALEX: Well, it is kind of a big deal, Dad. 516 00:22:59,747 --> 00:23:01,080 I think that we're gonna get divorced. 517 00:23:01,082 --> 00:23:02,982 Ah, okay. Slow down. 518 00:23:02,984 --> 00:23:05,086 (GRUNTS) Slow down. 519 00:23:06,888 --> 00:23:08,789 Clean your plates everyone. 520 00:23:09,190 --> 00:23:10,825 JUDE: Grandma, do you have any Jell-O? 521 00:23:11,125 --> 00:23:12,727 -MARILYN: In the fridge. -JUDE: Okay. 522 00:23:14,729 --> 00:23:16,962 ALEX: That's not what's going on. Nobody cheated. 523 00:23:16,964 --> 00:23:19,565 Yeah, well, so what is the problem then? 524 00:23:19,567 --> 00:23:20,400 ALEX: I don't know, it's... 525 00:23:22,536 --> 00:23:23,769 ...complicated. 526 00:23:23,771 --> 00:23:24,939 JAN: (CHUCKLES) It's complicated. 527 00:23:26,874 --> 00:23:28,475 You don't have to tell me that. 528 00:23:45,826 --> 00:23:52,633 (SIREN WAILS) 529 00:23:54,168 --> 00:23:58,172 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 530 00:24:45,720 --> 00:24:46,620 (SIGHS) 531 00:24:48,589 --> 00:24:49,757 (EXHALES) 532 00:24:56,530 --> 00:24:57,631 (CELL PHONE CLATTERS) 533 00:25:16,751 --> 00:25:18,686 (TOOTHBRUSHES SCRATCHING) 534 00:25:19,220 --> 00:25:20,221 (SPITS) 535 00:25:28,262 --> 00:25:30,664 (WHISPERING) Is Dada going to be okay? 536 00:25:31,032 --> 00:25:33,599 Of course. What do you mean? 537 00:25:33,601 --> 00:25:36,802 I don't know, he's just out there. On his own. 538 00:25:36,804 --> 00:25:38,070 But he's not alone. 539 00:25:38,072 --> 00:25:40,339 He loves when you boys stay with him. 540 00:25:40,341 --> 00:25:43,242 -But he sleeps on the couch. -Huh? 541 00:25:43,244 --> 00:25:44,910 We sleep in his bed. 542 00:25:44,912 --> 00:25:46,313 Yeah, it's awesome. 543 00:25:46,947 --> 00:25:47,982 Great. 544 00:25:58,259 --> 00:25:59,593 (ALEX SIGHS) 545 00:26:01,162 --> 00:26:02,263 (EXHALING SHARPLY) 546 00:26:07,802 --> 00:26:10,104 (SIGHS) For fuck's sake. 547 00:26:15,176 --> 00:26:16,944 Hey there, I'm Alex Novak. 548 00:26:17,812 --> 00:26:19,013 How you doing tonight? 549 00:26:19,747 --> 00:26:22,114 Once again I didn't want to pay the 15 bucks, 550 00:26:22,116 --> 00:26:24,151 so... here I am. 551 00:26:26,720 --> 00:26:28,220 No, I'm joking, and... 552 00:26:28,222 --> 00:26:30,224 No, no, no, I'm joking. I, uh... 553 00:26:31,225 --> 00:26:33,625 I didn't pay last time, but I was willing to pay this time, 554 00:26:33,627 --> 00:26:34,428 but I wanted to, uh... 555 00:26:36,130 --> 00:26:38,764 I said, uh, I wanted to have fun. 556 00:26:38,766 --> 00:26:39,965 Wanted to have fun here tonight. 557 00:26:39,967 --> 00:26:41,302 Anybody else wanna have fun? 558 00:26:42,002 --> 00:26:43,735 Yeah? 559 00:26:43,737 --> 00:26:46,171 -You know, I recently got fired. -(AUDIENCE AWWS SOFTLY) 560 00:26:46,173 --> 00:26:48,943 It's the fucking fifth time I've been fired. 561 00:26:50,277 --> 00:26:52,144 I've only had three jobs. 562 00:26:52,146 --> 00:26:55,647 (LAUGHTER) 563 00:26:55,649 --> 00:26:58,250 That means I've gotten fired from two jobs fucking twice. 564 00:26:58,252 --> 00:27:00,219 (LAUGHTER) 565 00:27:00,221 --> 00:27:01,353 Funny how things change... 566 00:27:01,355 --> 00:27:02,654 Bathroom's straight down and to the right. 567 00:27:02,656 --> 00:27:04,022 No, I think I'm next on the... 568 00:27:04,024 --> 00:27:04,957 MALE COMEDIAN: How things become cool and uncool. 569 00:27:04,959 --> 00:27:06,091 They called my name. 570 00:27:06,093 --> 00:27:08,293 -I drive a Tesla. -(LAUGHTER) 571 00:27:08,295 --> 00:27:09,296 And, um... 572 00:27:10,998 --> 00:27:12,197 I just have one question. 573 00:27:12,199 --> 00:27:15,734 Can you stop keying my fucking car? 574 00:27:15,736 --> 00:27:17,336 So, a couple months into it, 575 00:27:17,338 --> 00:27:21,039 they bring my folks in for like a parent's day. 576 00:27:21,041 --> 00:27:23,742 They kind of catch them up on our progress, you know? 577 00:27:23,744 --> 00:27:26,113 I'm-- I'm a teenager at this point and, uh... 578 00:27:26,814 --> 00:27:29,348 So they come in and, and Pete says, you know, 579 00:27:29,350 --> 00:27:30,883 "Alex has been great. 580 00:27:30,885 --> 00:27:32,317 He's opened up, and this is what's going on, 581 00:27:32,319 --> 00:27:33,952 and this is how he feels about this 582 00:27:33,954 --> 00:27:36,455 and this dynamic that's going on at home." 583 00:27:36,457 --> 00:27:38,392 My parents just kind of listen. 584 00:27:39,026 --> 00:27:41,693 We're driving home, little while later. 585 00:27:41,695 --> 00:27:43,061 And I remember this so clearly. 586 00:27:43,063 --> 00:27:46,431 I was in the back seat of my mom's station wagon. 587 00:27:46,433 --> 00:27:48,000 But my dad was driving. Doesn't matter. 588 00:27:48,002 --> 00:27:49,835 If my Dad was in the car, he was always driving, 589 00:27:49,837 --> 00:27:52,304 even though it was my mom's station wagon. 590 00:27:52,306 --> 00:27:55,874 And I remember her being in the passenger seat 591 00:27:55,876 --> 00:27:59,346 and spinning around, and looking at me and saying, 592 00:28:00,347 --> 00:28:03,215 "How dare you tell this stranger all our family secrets." 593 00:28:03,217 --> 00:28:06,151 (LAUGHTER) 594 00:28:06,153 --> 00:28:09,121 And I was like, "You made go talk to the guy. 595 00:28:09,123 --> 00:28:12,090 You literally paid the guy to listen to the problem. 596 00:28:12,092 --> 00:28:14,760 You set this up. You drove me there." 597 00:28:14,762 --> 00:28:15,961 -(LAUGHTER) -That's insane. 598 00:28:15,963 --> 00:28:17,231 That would be like... 599 00:28:18,265 --> 00:28:19,731 That would be like-- That'd be like your partner 600 00:28:19,733 --> 00:28:21,767 driving you to an orgy... 601 00:28:21,769 --> 00:28:23,268 (LAUGHTER) 602 00:28:23,270 --> 00:28:24,836 ...and then saying, 603 00:28:24,838 --> 00:28:27,005 "I can't believe you fucked all those people." 604 00:28:27,007 --> 00:28:28,941 (LAUGHTER) 605 00:28:28,943 --> 00:28:31,410 "That was the point of being there in the-- 606 00:28:31,412 --> 00:28:35,080 You knew where I was going. I was naked in the car." 607 00:28:35,082 --> 00:28:36,782 (LAUGHTER) 608 00:28:36,784 --> 00:28:38,417 Anyway, uh, this is, uh... 609 00:28:38,419 --> 00:28:39,818 Boy, this is starting to actually get good 610 00:28:39,820 --> 00:28:41,119 and now my time is up. 611 00:28:41,121 --> 00:28:43,121 This is so awesome. I will see you next time. 612 00:28:43,123 --> 00:28:44,890 (CHEERS, APPLAUSE) 613 00:28:44,892 --> 00:28:46,758 Same place. I'm coming back. We'll meet here, all right? 614 00:28:46,760 --> 00:28:48,260 We'll all meet here. All right, I've been Alex Novak. 615 00:28:48,262 --> 00:28:49,761 Thank you so much. 616 00:28:49,763 --> 00:28:51,496 Sad guy, you hanging out? 617 00:28:51,498 --> 00:28:53,165 Everyone's hanging out in the back booth to the right. 618 00:28:53,167 --> 00:28:54,132 EMCEE: We got some actually funny people 619 00:28:54,134 --> 00:28:56,101 -coming to the stage next. -Okay, thank you. 620 00:28:56,103 --> 00:28:57,336 JILL: Good. It takes the pressure off. 621 00:28:57,338 --> 00:28:58,837 That's how I feel about my dog. 622 00:28:58,839 --> 00:28:59,972 ALEX: Hey. 623 00:28:59,974 --> 00:29:01,240 -Cool to sit down here? -Yeah. 624 00:29:01,242 --> 00:29:03,175 -Look who's back. -Just talked to Rolo upstairs. 625 00:29:03,177 --> 00:29:04,943 Hey, I remember you from my-- Yeah. 626 00:29:04,945 --> 00:29:07,312 -What up? Dan. What up? -Alex. 627 00:29:07,314 --> 00:29:09,781 How'd it go? I'm surprised you back. 628 00:29:09,783 --> 00:29:10,782 -Really? -Yeah. 629 00:29:10,784 --> 00:29:12,117 -That bad? -Yeah, I mean... 630 00:29:12,119 --> 00:29:13,485 -It wasn't bad. -It wasn't. 631 00:29:13,487 --> 00:29:15,053 -DAN: What do you even do? -JILL: Just say it. 632 00:29:15,055 --> 00:29:16,421 -He's gonna ask for a job. -Come on, what is it? 633 00:29:16,423 --> 00:29:18,023 I work in finance. 634 00:29:18,025 --> 00:29:19,258 If you wanna do it again, I'll tell you the website. 635 00:29:19,260 --> 00:29:20,425 Just DM me. 636 00:29:20,427 --> 00:29:21,962 -ALEX: All right. -Yeah. Just... 637 00:29:22,396 --> 00:29:24,896 All the mics in the city, badsaliva.com. 638 00:29:24,898 --> 00:29:26,534 And just, keep going up. 639 00:29:27,401 --> 00:29:29,504 Yeah, yeah, yeah. You gotta go up five, six times a week. 640 00:29:31,171 --> 00:29:32,437 -Yeah. -Five or six times? 641 00:29:32,439 --> 00:29:34,239 No, sometimes we go five a night. 642 00:29:34,241 --> 00:29:35,541 On long nights, yeah. 643 00:29:35,543 --> 00:29:36,942 If you have like a bit you wanna work out, 644 00:29:36,944 --> 00:29:38,477 you go five times by the end of the night. 645 00:29:38,479 --> 00:29:40,546 You got a spot. Five minutes around the corner. 646 00:29:40,548 --> 00:29:42,047 -I'm Alex. -Lovely. 647 00:29:42,049 --> 00:29:43,448 DAN: That's the manager, and this is the one-- 648 00:29:43,450 --> 00:29:44,416 -ALEX: Oh. -So, yeah, I have-- 649 00:29:44,418 --> 00:29:46,285 JILL: Don't make eye contact with her. Jesus. 650 00:29:46,287 --> 00:29:47,853 -DAN: Yeah, look down. -Shut up. 651 00:29:47,855 --> 00:29:49,154 -I have four rooms. -DAN: Sorry. 652 00:29:49,156 --> 00:29:51,557 You can see downstairs where you just were. 653 00:29:51,559 --> 00:29:52,426 Yeah. 654 00:29:53,027 --> 00:29:54,192 Stop showing off in front of your friend 655 00:29:54,194 --> 00:29:55,460 with Laverne and Shirley back there. 656 00:29:55,462 --> 00:29:57,095 Fuck you! 657 00:29:57,097 --> 00:29:58,964 -We got jobs. -I'm Laverne. I'm Laverne. 658 00:29:58,966 --> 00:30:00,165 What's your name again? 659 00:30:00,167 --> 00:30:02,034 -Alex. -Alex, come here. 660 00:30:02,036 --> 00:30:03,935 -Hey man, that's my white slave. -Shut up. 661 00:30:03,937 --> 00:30:05,070 (DAN LAUGHS) 662 00:30:05,072 --> 00:30:06,271 JILL: You can have him. Take him. 663 00:30:06,273 --> 00:30:08,240 Come talk to some real comedians. 664 00:30:08,242 --> 00:30:09,441 What's up, man? 665 00:30:09,443 --> 00:30:11,145 Yo, you hold my pocket when we leave. 666 00:30:13,414 --> 00:30:16,148 You can't treat comedy like prison, man, Dan. 667 00:30:16,150 --> 00:30:17,482 He's Scared Straight -ing him. 668 00:30:17,484 --> 00:30:19,885 -Dan, don't Scared Straight him. -He's scared straight. 669 00:30:19,887 --> 00:30:21,353 He's scared white. 670 00:30:21,355 --> 00:30:23,121 You gonna be all right. How often are you getting up? 671 00:30:23,123 --> 00:30:25,558 I don't know, man. Tonight was my second time. 672 00:30:25,560 --> 00:30:27,092 I put it to you like, my pop used to let me 673 00:30:27,094 --> 00:30:28,994 watch Def Jam when I was six, 674 00:30:28,996 --> 00:30:31,430 but he would act like he was telling me not to watch it. 675 00:30:31,432 --> 00:30:34,132 "Hey, me and your stepmom are watchin' the program. 676 00:30:34,134 --> 00:30:36,569 It's on HBO. Go upstairs and watch something else." 677 00:30:36,571 --> 00:30:38,337 And then wink at me. And I'll be like, "Oh, shit." 678 00:30:38,339 --> 00:30:40,472 I actually got caught by my dad. 679 00:30:40,474 --> 00:30:42,207 I was trying to watch porn. 680 00:30:42,209 --> 00:30:43,875 You know, like, the, the late night HBO, 681 00:30:43,877 --> 00:30:45,444 the Taxicab Confessions or whatever. 682 00:30:45,446 --> 00:30:47,379 -Oh, yeah. Real Sex. -I was trying to watch porn, 683 00:30:47,381 --> 00:30:50,616 and it was Def Comedy Jam, and I saw Greer Barnes on stage 684 00:30:50,618 --> 00:30:53,185 doing a joke about Mike Tyson and Arnold Schwarzenegger 685 00:30:53,187 --> 00:30:54,453 sharing a jail cell together. 686 00:30:54,455 --> 00:30:56,154 I was dying laughing, 687 00:30:56,156 --> 00:30:58,090 and I asked my dad, I was like, "Is that a job?" 688 00:30:58,092 --> 00:31:00,492 And he was like, "Yeah. You gotta go to college first." 689 00:31:00,494 --> 00:31:02,461 -Been doing jokes ever since. -Gotta get up everyday. 690 00:31:02,463 --> 00:31:04,963 Open that diary, Anne Frank. Get to it. 691 00:31:04,965 --> 00:31:06,264 What? What's wrong? 692 00:31:06,266 --> 00:31:07,899 ALEX: You guys just write stuff down all day? 693 00:31:07,901 --> 00:31:09,468 I said to open up his diary if he gonna write any jokes. 694 00:31:09,470 --> 00:31:11,036 -You gotta write. -Work on your craft. 695 00:31:11,038 --> 00:31:13,173 You gotta write. 696 00:31:28,590 --> 00:31:31,925 Just-- I was just watching CNN, and they say it's official, 697 00:31:33,260 --> 00:31:35,062 according to scientists... 698 00:31:35,496 --> 00:31:38,163 No. According to scientists, it's official, 699 00:31:38,165 --> 00:31:39,567 guys get hotter with age. 700 00:31:40,934 --> 00:31:42,467 Big win. 701 00:31:42,469 --> 00:31:44,936 Then we convinced them, you know what's really hot? 702 00:31:44,938 --> 00:31:45,673 Dad bods. 703 00:31:46,641 --> 00:31:48,073 You kiddin' me? We're on a roll. 704 00:31:48,075 --> 00:31:49,675 It's like, we're playing with house money now. 705 00:31:49,677 --> 00:31:52,043 What else-- What else can we get away with? 706 00:31:52,045 --> 00:31:54,081 You know what's super hot? Being poor. 707 00:32:11,599 --> 00:32:13,365 -He stole it. -You can't take-- 708 00:32:13,367 --> 00:32:14,600 -ALEX: Hello. Good morning. Hi. -He doesn't even need it. 709 00:32:14,602 --> 00:32:15,535 -Hey. Hi. -Hey. 710 00:32:15,537 --> 00:32:17,002 Hey. Look who's here? 711 00:32:17,004 --> 00:32:18,236 -Hi, guys! Hi! Hi, guys. -Dad? 712 00:32:18,238 --> 00:32:19,605 I thought Mom was taking us to school. 713 00:32:19,607 --> 00:32:21,006 -TESS: Yeah, me too. -Yeah, I know. 714 00:32:21,008 --> 00:32:23,041 But maybe there's a surprise outside 715 00:32:23,043 --> 00:32:24,544 and maybe this has something to do with it. 716 00:32:24,546 --> 00:32:25,711 Is that a new car? 717 00:32:25,713 --> 00:32:27,012 I don't know if the term "car" 718 00:32:27,014 --> 00:32:28,180 really does it any kind of justice. 719 00:32:28,182 --> 00:32:29,481 -Alex. -Let's go. It's right outside. 720 00:32:29,483 --> 00:32:30,315 Let's go, let's go, let's go. Come check it out. 721 00:32:30,317 --> 00:32:30,949 Hold on! We're eating breakfast here. 722 00:32:30,951 --> 00:32:32,419 ALEX: Come on, here we go. 723 00:32:34,087 --> 00:32:35,755 -This is sick. -Look at that! 724 00:32:35,757 --> 00:32:37,523 Oh, wait, wait, wait. 725 00:32:37,525 --> 00:32:38,624 -TESS: Hey! Hold on a second! -FELIX: Whoa, this is cool. 726 00:32:38,626 --> 00:32:39,692 -Hang on. Let me get your mom. -Whoa. This is cool. 727 00:32:39,694 --> 00:32:42,528 -What? What did you do? -I am gonna immortalize 728 00:32:42,530 --> 00:32:45,263 the first moment that you lay eyes on this beauty. 729 00:32:45,265 --> 00:32:46,666 TESS: This is not how it's gonna work. 730 00:32:46,668 --> 00:32:48,400 Look at this thing. This gives you the morning off. 731 00:32:48,402 --> 00:32:50,536 From what? The morning off from what? 732 00:32:50,538 --> 00:32:52,337 ALEX: I don't know. The Olympics are here in two years. 733 00:32:52,339 --> 00:32:53,639 What? 734 00:32:53,641 --> 00:32:54,473 ALEX: Who knows what you're capable of? 735 00:32:54,475 --> 00:32:56,308 -What did you say? -ALEX: All right. 736 00:32:56,310 --> 00:32:59,279 The fucking Olympics? Does he think that's funny? 737 00:33:00,013 --> 00:33:01,346 Fuck him. 738 00:33:01,348 --> 00:33:03,383 I mean, does he think this is about me? 739 00:33:04,519 --> 00:33:06,353 No, 'cause it's not. 740 00:33:07,254 --> 00:33:10,190 No, he didn't say it. He never says anything. 741 00:33:10,625 --> 00:33:12,192 I mean, isn't that typical? 742 00:33:12,392 --> 00:33:14,729 My God, you should know, you're his mom! 743 00:33:16,029 --> 00:33:17,130 Marilyn! 744 00:33:17,732 --> 00:33:19,331 -Hey. -I rang the doorbell. 745 00:33:19,333 --> 00:33:21,433 I hate the phone. 746 00:33:21,435 --> 00:33:23,034 I just wanted to see you. 747 00:33:23,036 --> 00:33:24,236 -Come inside. You're sweet. -No, no, no. 748 00:33:24,238 --> 00:33:25,705 Jan doesn't even know I left the house. 749 00:33:25,707 --> 00:33:27,105 I gotta get right back. 750 00:33:27,107 --> 00:33:29,074 -Okay. -I just... 751 00:33:29,076 --> 00:33:30,375 You're both in shock. 752 00:33:30,377 --> 00:33:31,744 -Yeah. -That's all. 753 00:33:31,746 --> 00:33:33,144 It's okay. 754 00:33:33,146 --> 00:33:34,814 And I just wanted to tell you one thing. 755 00:33:34,816 --> 00:33:37,249 -Okay. -Well, two things. 756 00:33:37,251 --> 00:33:38,318 One... 757 00:33:40,454 --> 00:33:43,658 Give yourself the grace... 758 00:33:44,626 --> 00:33:46,360 to feel what you feel. 759 00:33:47,294 --> 00:33:48,728 Unfiltered. 760 00:33:48,730 --> 00:33:50,364 And number two... 761 00:33:52,065 --> 00:33:54,399 The Olympics are here in two years. 762 00:33:54,401 --> 00:33:56,067 Oh, my God. 763 00:33:56,069 --> 00:33:57,605 Marilyn, fuck you! 764 00:34:00,107 --> 00:34:01,674 -But I get it. -Do you? 765 00:34:01,676 --> 00:34:02,742 I get it. 766 00:34:02,744 --> 00:34:04,746 I think so. Come here. 767 00:34:08,482 --> 00:34:09,515 Are you gonna start fucking? 768 00:34:09,517 --> 00:34:10,415 Immediately. 769 00:34:10,417 --> 00:34:12,117 Yes! 770 00:34:12,119 --> 00:34:13,653 New dick. That's what you need. 771 00:34:13,655 --> 00:34:15,186 Some new deep dickin' too. 772 00:34:15,188 --> 00:34:16,421 No pity fucks. 773 00:34:16,423 --> 00:34:18,256 Maybe that's what you need. 774 00:34:18,258 --> 00:34:20,158 It's like the one good thing Balls and I have left. 775 00:34:20,160 --> 00:34:21,161 Really? 776 00:34:21,495 --> 00:34:23,361 Y'all ever fuck sober? 777 00:34:23,363 --> 00:34:25,363 No. I hate him too much to be able to do that. 778 00:34:25,365 --> 00:34:26,534 Well, that's a red flag. 779 00:34:27,367 --> 00:34:28,435 No duh. 780 00:34:28,736 --> 00:34:30,437 (SIGHS) Hey. 781 00:34:31,338 --> 00:34:33,240 I'm gonna play for a club team, again. 782 00:34:34,676 --> 00:34:37,377 And I've been reaching out to people about coaching. 783 00:34:38,178 --> 00:34:40,648 -I just worry. -About what? 784 00:34:41,248 --> 00:34:43,618 Look, you have a full life. 785 00:34:44,217 --> 00:34:47,285 You're not defined by this one amazing thing you did. 786 00:34:47,287 --> 00:34:49,222 So, I just hope... 787 00:34:49,724 --> 00:34:53,859 that enough time has passed that you can re-enter this world, 788 00:34:53,861 --> 00:34:55,728 without giving it too much meaning. 789 00:34:55,730 --> 00:34:57,462 Yeah, but I'm not gonna be able to do that 790 00:34:57,464 --> 00:34:58,731 now that you said it out loud. 791 00:34:58,733 --> 00:35:00,365 I'm just reminding you, babe, 792 00:35:00,367 --> 00:35:01,801 you have done other amazing things. 793 00:35:01,803 --> 00:35:02,768 TESS: Like? 794 00:35:02,770 --> 00:35:04,704 Like being a mother. 795 00:35:04,706 --> 00:35:06,371 Like this house. 796 00:35:06,373 --> 00:35:08,876 I don't give a fuck about volleyball. You're great. 797 00:35:28,763 --> 00:35:29,797 (SIGHS) 798 00:35:30,565 --> 00:35:31,699 Come on, puppies. 799 00:35:33,266 --> 00:35:34,501 Come on, babies. 800 00:35:36,203 --> 00:35:38,470 (WHISPERING) Come on, Charlie. Charlie, come to me. 801 00:35:38,472 --> 00:35:40,240 Come, Charlie. Yeah. 802 00:35:40,742 --> 00:35:42,442 Yes, baby. 803 00:35:42,877 --> 00:35:44,209 (SIGHS) 804 00:35:44,211 --> 00:35:45,312 Come on. Come on. 805 00:35:46,246 --> 00:35:47,481 Yeah. 806 00:35:48,215 --> 00:35:49,884 (INDISTINCT CHATTER, HORNS HONKING) 807 00:35:55,556 --> 00:35:57,457 (INDISTINCT CHATTER CONTINUES) 808 00:35:58,693 --> 00:36:01,194 (SIREN WAILING, HORNS HONKING) 809 00:36:03,263 --> 00:36:05,296 -Don't move. -Hi, Mom. 810 00:36:05,298 --> 00:36:06,932 -Hey. -Are you lice free yet? 811 00:36:06,934 --> 00:36:09,436 -Yeah, I mean, I got it, but... -Mom. Mom, mom, mom! 812 00:36:09,704 --> 00:36:11,639 This guy's good. I'm just checking this guy. 813 00:36:12,272 --> 00:36:13,739 We're probably gonna have to check each other. 814 00:36:13,741 --> 00:36:15,407 FELIX: He's gonna give you lice. JUDE: Ew, that's disgusting. 815 00:36:15,409 --> 00:36:17,308 I gotta see if we... 816 00:36:17,310 --> 00:36:18,944 I can't tell if that's dandruff or... 817 00:36:18,946 --> 00:36:20,846 TESS: You got some more paper towels? 818 00:36:20,848 --> 00:36:22,982 I do have more paper towels. Just did a Costco run. 819 00:36:22,984 --> 00:36:24,750 There should some in the bedroom in the back. 820 00:36:24,752 --> 00:36:26,317 -(INDISTINCT CHATTER ON TV) -All right. 821 00:36:26,319 --> 00:36:27,520 -FELIX: Dad, why do you have-- -See what I mean? 822 00:36:27,522 --> 00:36:28,921 FELIX: Why are they in a doctor's office? 823 00:36:28,923 --> 00:36:31,859 TESS: So, you... using our old armoire? 824 00:36:32,927 --> 00:36:35,326 Yeah, I took it out of storage until I get some more furniture. 825 00:36:35,328 --> 00:36:36,428 Why, you want me to put it back? 826 00:36:36,430 --> 00:36:37,930 Immediately. (LAUGHS) 827 00:36:37,932 --> 00:36:40,398 No, it's just that hadn't talked about that kind of stuff. 828 00:36:40,400 --> 00:36:42,467 Yeah. Sorry. Probably should have asked first. 829 00:36:42,469 --> 00:36:43,805 It's fine. 830 00:36:44,872 --> 00:36:47,405 So, what do you think about your new style? 831 00:36:47,407 --> 00:36:48,674 ALEX: You know what, I gotta get more paper towels. 832 00:36:48,676 --> 00:36:49,809 TESS: I think we should just go with this. 833 00:36:49,811 --> 00:36:50,743 -All the time. -Don't move. Don't move. 834 00:36:50,745 --> 00:36:52,410 -All right? -Don't move. 835 00:36:52,412 --> 00:36:52,878 TESS: You're lice-free, and we'll just keep this look. 836 00:36:52,880 --> 00:36:55,282 (TOILET FLUSHES) 837 00:36:57,719 --> 00:36:59,384 I think I might have lice. 838 00:36:59,386 --> 00:37:00,920 Hmm. 839 00:37:00,922 --> 00:37:02,955 Any-- Aren't you seeing it jump off me? Why are you-- 840 00:37:02,957 --> 00:37:04,456 Yeah, let's get you in the chair. 841 00:37:04,458 --> 00:37:05,925 I think that's what we gotta do. 842 00:37:05,927 --> 00:37:07,560 JUDE: Yeah, you look-- One just crawled in between-- 843 00:37:07,562 --> 00:37:09,294 -No-- -Mom's pregnant. 844 00:37:09,296 --> 00:37:10,361 -You are so pregnant. -TESS: What? 845 00:37:10,363 --> 00:37:11,697 You hooked up with a bug. 846 00:37:11,699 --> 00:37:13,599 -All right, guys, enough. -Guys. 847 00:37:13,601 --> 00:37:14,900 But Dad, that's how you said you get lice. 848 00:37:14,902 --> 00:37:16,602 -Yeah... yeah. -Oh, is that how you said it? 849 00:37:16,604 --> 00:37:19,337 No. It's bec-- It was a joke, because the video said 850 00:37:19,339 --> 00:37:20,506 we're looking for baby eggs, all right? 851 00:37:20,508 --> 00:37:21,774 It was a joke. 852 00:37:21,776 --> 00:37:23,374 -Did you hook up with a bug? -FELIX: No. 853 00:37:23,376 --> 00:37:25,611 -Well, you've got lice so... -JUDE: Yeah, you did. 854 00:37:25,613 --> 00:37:27,580 -You hooked up with a bug -You promised not to tell them. 855 00:37:27,582 --> 00:37:29,815 -You have lice, too. -Yeah, sorry. I couldn't resist. 856 00:37:29,817 --> 00:37:31,282 All right, you know what? You guys need to rehearse. 857 00:37:31,284 --> 00:37:32,885 -Let's go. Let's go. -JUDE: Okay. 858 00:37:32,887 --> 00:37:34,486 -Get busy. -FELIX: I already know it. 859 00:37:34,488 --> 00:37:36,722 -Keep the volume down, too. -Turn the volume up? Okay. 860 00:37:36,724 --> 00:37:38,289 No, not up. Keep the volume down. 861 00:37:38,291 --> 00:37:38,958 FELIX: Dad, do you know where the loudspeaker is? 862 00:37:38,960 --> 00:37:40,059 I'm serious about the volume 863 00:37:40,061 --> 00:37:41,794 So you're really not seeing anything? 864 00:37:41,796 --> 00:37:44,397 -There's no little bites or... -I don't think so. 865 00:37:44,899 --> 00:37:46,565 (SIGHS) To be honest, just looking-- 866 00:37:46,567 --> 00:37:48,033 Now, it's making me itch. I think I-- 867 00:37:48,035 --> 00:37:49,369 I must have it. Would you check me? 868 00:37:49,937 --> 00:37:51,038 Sure. 869 00:37:51,906 --> 00:37:53,304 (PIANO NOTES PLAYING) 870 00:37:53,306 --> 00:37:54,907 TESS: You can get like little bites or... 871 00:37:54,909 --> 00:37:56,942 ALEX: Yeah, make sure to really check. 872 00:37:56,944 --> 00:37:58,511 TESS: Yeah. 873 00:37:58,513 --> 00:38:00,280 -(PIANO NOTES CONTINUE) -TESS: "Under Pressure"? 874 00:38:01,348 --> 00:38:03,314 Oh. That's what that is. 875 00:38:03,316 --> 00:38:04,517 (LAUGHS) 876 00:38:04,519 --> 00:38:05,918 TESS: (LAUGHS) You didn't recognize it? 877 00:38:05,920 --> 00:38:08,353 No. The first 40 million times I didn't recognize it. 878 00:38:08,355 --> 00:38:09,824 They're obsessed. 879 00:38:10,457 --> 00:38:11,657 It's all they talk about. 880 00:38:11,659 --> 00:38:13,324 That performance is so far from now too. 881 00:38:13,326 --> 00:38:15,460 I wonder where they get their work ethic from. 882 00:38:15,462 --> 00:38:17,031 TESS: Mm. Poor boys. 883 00:38:18,065 --> 00:38:19,999 Just check one more in here. 884 00:38:20,001 --> 00:38:24,003 (PIANO NOTES CONTINUE PLAYING "UNDER PRESSURE") 885 00:38:24,005 --> 00:38:28,576 I'm gonna dip my toe into the coaching world. 886 00:38:30,845 --> 00:38:32,412 Is that why you were in the city? 887 00:38:33,380 --> 00:38:35,583 No. I was in the city 'cause you called me. 888 00:38:36,951 --> 00:38:38,918 Oh. I just figured you were in the city, 889 00:38:38,920 --> 00:38:40,686 because you said you'd come right over. 890 00:38:40,688 --> 00:38:42,855 Yeah. I wanted to see the halfway house 891 00:38:42,857 --> 00:38:44,657 our kids are living in part time. 892 00:38:44,659 --> 00:38:46,125 ALEX: I'm glad you got the vibe that I'm going for. 893 00:38:46,127 --> 00:38:47,595 Yeah, you did great. 894 00:38:48,361 --> 00:38:51,429 I haven't talked to any programs yet, just... 895 00:38:51,431 --> 00:38:54,365 (PIANO NOTES CONTINUE PLAYING "UNDER PRESSURE") 896 00:38:54,367 --> 00:38:55,701 ALEX: I think that's great. 897 00:38:55,703 --> 00:38:57,538 Any program would die to have you, I'm sure. 898 00:38:58,105 --> 00:38:59,607 Yeah. 899 00:39:00,041 --> 00:39:01,108 I think it's great, too. 900 00:39:03,778 --> 00:39:05,913 Um, I think you're good. 901 00:39:06,981 --> 00:39:08,549 Good. Okay. 902 00:39:09,717 --> 00:39:11,083 Do you wanna take a shower with-- 903 00:39:11,085 --> 00:39:13,652 and rinse off with some of that special shampoo? 904 00:39:13,654 --> 00:39:14,753 TESS: Oh, oh... 905 00:39:14,755 --> 00:39:15,654 -Might as well. -Yeah. 906 00:39:15,656 --> 00:39:16,922 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 907 00:39:16,924 --> 00:39:18,559 Bathroom's right down there on the left. 908 00:39:18,759 --> 00:39:20,695 (PIANO NOTES CONTINUE) 909 00:39:34,108 --> 00:39:38,613 (LIGHT PANTING) 910 00:39:42,149 --> 00:39:44,552 (EXHALES) 911 00:39:49,690 --> 00:39:53,559 (PANTING) 912 00:39:53,561 --> 00:39:57,064 (MUFFLED INDISTINCT CHATTER) 913 00:40:04,705 --> 00:40:06,073 (SIGHS) You got this. 914 00:40:07,775 --> 00:40:09,208 MALE COMEDIAN: So I read that the number one 915 00:40:09,210 --> 00:40:10,576 fantasy for guys... 916 00:40:10,578 --> 00:40:11,277 -BOUNCER: Can I help you? -Hey, man. 917 00:40:11,279 --> 00:40:12,878 Yeah, I'm here for the open mic. 918 00:40:12,880 --> 00:40:14,580 Yeah, right here. Just write your name down there. 919 00:40:14,582 --> 00:40:15,547 Okay. 920 00:40:15,549 --> 00:40:16,584 You're next. 921 00:40:16,751 --> 00:40:17,885 -I'm next? -Yup, be ready. 922 00:40:18,686 --> 00:40:19,919 Fuck. 923 00:40:19,921 --> 00:40:21,020 I'm getting the light, so I gotta go. 924 00:40:21,022 --> 00:40:22,187 Oh, the light. The light. 925 00:40:22,189 --> 00:40:23,656 The light. Yeah, the light. 926 00:40:23,658 --> 00:40:25,724 (SCATTERED APPLAUSE) 927 00:40:25,726 --> 00:40:29,762 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 928 00:40:29,764 --> 00:40:30,998 (MAN LAUGHS) 929 00:40:37,004 --> 00:40:38,806 MAN: Ladies and gentlemen... (SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY) 930 00:40:42,143 --> 00:40:43,609 -BOUNCER 2: Yo, man. What's up? -ALEX: Hey. 931 00:40:43,611 --> 00:40:44,843 I was actually hoping that I could just, 932 00:40:44,845 --> 00:40:46,145 you know, watch and hang tonight? 933 00:40:46,147 --> 00:40:48,747 -Yeah. -Yeah? I got 15 bucks on me. 934 00:40:48,749 --> 00:40:51,517 Nah. Keep your 15 bucks. Get yourself something nice. 935 00:40:51,519 --> 00:40:53,118 -Go on in. -Thanks, man. 936 00:40:53,120 --> 00:40:55,723 You got it-- Just... Yeah, just finish that before you go in. 937 00:40:56,791 --> 00:40:58,190 -Finish it? -Yeah. 938 00:40:58,192 --> 00:40:59,124 (PEOPLE CHUCKLING) 939 00:40:59,126 --> 00:41:01,593 -Hey. -Hey. 940 00:41:01,595 --> 00:41:02,630 -JILL: There he is. -Make yourself comfortable. 941 00:41:03,197 --> 00:41:04,797 Am I okay here? 942 00:41:04,799 --> 00:41:06,699 -Yeah. No one's sittin' here. -JILL: You're fine. 943 00:41:06,701 --> 00:41:07,768 How was your night? 944 00:41:08,202 --> 00:41:09,670 It was pretty good. 945 00:41:10,004 --> 00:41:12,905 I went and did a different open mic and... 946 00:41:12,907 --> 00:41:15,007 (SCATTERED LAUGHTER) 947 00:41:15,009 --> 00:41:16,508 Yeah. 948 00:41:16,510 --> 00:41:17,977 You know, I've been doing this for 25 years. 949 00:41:17,979 --> 00:41:19,244 You know what I mean? And I love it. 950 00:41:19,246 --> 00:41:20,713 I wouldn't wanna be anywhere else. 951 00:41:20,715 --> 00:41:22,748 But what I like about you is you're so innocent. 952 00:41:22,750 --> 00:41:23,949 You're not naive, you're innocent. 953 00:41:23,951 --> 00:41:25,250 And that's why it works. 954 00:41:25,252 --> 00:41:26,852 So that's good. It comes outta your head, 955 00:41:26,854 --> 00:41:28,187 you put it on a piece of paper, and you get up there. 956 00:41:28,189 --> 00:41:30,255 It's like therapy. But, people can relate to that. 957 00:41:30,257 --> 00:41:31,557 -ALEX: I don't know what it is. -You don't know anything. 958 00:41:31,559 --> 00:41:33,158 But I just do know that coming here 959 00:41:33,160 --> 00:41:35,761 -has ended up making me feel... -KEMP: Yeah. It's a safe space. 960 00:41:35,763 --> 00:41:36,731 -ALEX: Well, a lot better. -KEMP: Yeah. 961 00:41:37,732 --> 00:41:38,731 You are good-- I mean, you're bad at stand-up, 962 00:41:38,733 --> 00:41:40,165 but you're good. 963 00:41:40,167 --> 00:41:42,801 You have a good heart. You seem like a pure... 964 00:41:42,803 --> 00:41:44,636 like I believe you that you just found this thing, 965 00:41:44,638 --> 00:41:46,772 and now you're in love with stand-up. 966 00:41:46,774 --> 00:41:49,241 Other than the fact that I'm really insulted, thank you. 967 00:41:49,243 --> 00:41:51,744 But you're bad. You're really bad. 968 00:41:51,746 --> 00:41:53,012 -(KEMP LAUGHING) -(CHUCKLES) Okay. 969 00:41:53,014 --> 00:41:54,546 JILL: So I was waxing. It didn't hurt, right? 970 00:41:54,548 --> 00:41:56,215 And then she finished really quickly, 971 00:41:56,217 --> 00:41:57,816 like I didn't even know what happened. 972 00:41:57,818 --> 00:42:00,688 And I was like, she goes, "Your triangle's done." Okay. 973 00:42:01,055 --> 00:42:03,055 -"Your triangle's done." -(LAUGHTER) 974 00:42:03,057 --> 00:42:04,289 What she gave me... 975 00:42:04,291 --> 00:42:06,127 Okay, wait. Can I use your napkin? 976 00:42:07,595 --> 00:42:10,329 What I was expecting was this. 977 00:42:10,331 --> 00:42:12,700 This is what, what I was expecting. Okay? 978 00:42:12,933 --> 00:42:15,834 You see this? Reasonable. Reasonable. 979 00:42:15,836 --> 00:42:18,203 -(LAUGHTER) -(GASPS) What she gave me... 980 00:42:18,205 --> 00:42:19,271 (SCOFFING) 981 00:42:19,273 --> 00:42:21,108 (LAUGHTER) 982 00:42:25,846 --> 00:42:26,914 ...is this. 983 00:42:27,815 --> 00:42:30,315 -It is ridi-- Look at this. -WOMAN: No! 984 00:42:30,317 --> 00:42:32,051 -(LAUGHTER) -Look at what I'm showing you. 985 00:42:32,053 --> 00:42:34,987 I'm not-- This is not-- It is tiny. 986 00:42:34,989 --> 00:42:37,024 Well, I brought my drink up. Um... 987 00:42:37,725 --> 00:42:39,291 -MAN: It's okay. -Is that all right? 988 00:42:39,293 --> 00:42:41,093 Hang on. Do you guys mind? I'm gonna put this right here. 989 00:42:41,095 --> 00:42:42,728 MAN: Use it! 990 00:42:42,730 --> 00:42:45,230 You okay? I'm watching it, all right? So, don't-- 991 00:42:45,232 --> 00:42:47,132 Oh, please roofie me. 992 00:42:47,134 --> 00:42:48,634 -(LAUGHTER) -Oh. 993 00:42:48,636 --> 00:42:50,769 Please, I'd love to get roofie'd tonight. 994 00:42:50,771 --> 00:42:52,640 -(APPLAUSE) -Please! 995 00:42:53,074 --> 00:42:56,241 Hey, is it true that you do magic? Is that a true story? 996 00:42:56,243 --> 00:42:58,377 Yes. That is my day job. 997 00:42:58,379 --> 00:43:00,846 One of my kids, he's obsessed with-with magic. 998 00:43:00,848 --> 00:43:02,347 -Oh, no. -Yeah, his birthday's coming up, 999 00:43:02,349 --> 00:43:03,749 and his mom's doing this thing, 1000 00:43:03,751 --> 00:43:05,017 and I want to kinda add something to it. 1001 00:43:05,019 --> 00:43:07,653 Would you ever consider doing something like that? Is that...? 1002 00:43:07,655 --> 00:43:09,221 -Uh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. -Yeah? 1003 00:43:09,223 --> 00:43:10,155 -I'd be down. Sure. -Okay. 1004 00:43:10,157 --> 00:43:12,059 (DOOR HANDLES CLICKING) 1005 00:43:16,697 --> 00:43:17,865 ALEX (QUIETLY): The driveway's okay? 1006 00:43:20,067 --> 00:43:22,703 Okay in front of the driveway. They're not going anywhere. 1007 00:43:32,947 --> 00:43:34,348 Shit doesn't even look gold. 1008 00:43:35,983 --> 00:43:37,184 I should have picked the balloons. 1009 00:43:40,988 --> 00:43:42,857 -What? -(DOG BARKING) 1010 00:43:43,190 --> 00:43:44,756 -Hey! -Hey. Hey. 1011 00:43:44,758 --> 00:43:45,858 What are you doing out here? The door was open. 1012 00:43:45,860 --> 00:43:46,425 I didn't know what the protocol was. 1013 00:43:46,427 --> 00:43:47,926 What? Get in here. 1014 00:43:47,928 --> 00:43:50,095 -You guys all right? -(RHYTHMIC MUSIC PLAYING) 1015 00:43:50,097 --> 00:43:51,430 -Wow. -(KIDS CHATTERING) 1016 00:43:51,432 --> 00:43:53,031 -It's gonna be so good. -You really went all out. 1017 00:43:53,033 --> 00:43:55,269 Hey, will you help me actually put some more food out? 1018 00:43:56,003 --> 00:43:57,703 Crudités in the fridge. 1019 00:43:57,705 --> 00:43:59,138 -There's two of 'em. -Okay. 1020 00:43:59,140 --> 00:44:01,073 TESS: I just really need the carrots 1021 00:44:01,075 --> 00:44:02,841 because they have not touched one vegetable. 1022 00:44:02,843 --> 00:44:06,044 Hi, buddy. Oh, hey. Hi, hi, hi. You having fun? 1023 00:44:06,046 --> 00:44:07,279 -FELIX: Yeah. -Yeah? How's the magician? 1024 00:44:07,281 --> 00:44:08,415 -FELIX: Good. -Yeah? 1025 00:44:08,949 --> 00:44:11,049 Your father's sorry he couldn't make it. 1026 00:44:11,051 --> 00:44:13,085 -He's on one of his walks. -Okay. 1027 00:44:13,087 --> 00:44:15,789 BALLS: Hey! There he is. 1028 00:44:17,158 --> 00:44:18,759 ALEX: Hey, Charlie doesn't like to be picked up. 1029 00:44:19,460 --> 00:44:20,959 Is that his name? 1030 00:44:20,961 --> 00:44:21,927 Yeah. Did you really not know Charlie's name? 1031 00:44:21,929 --> 00:44:23,262 No. (CHUCKLES) 1032 00:44:23,264 --> 00:44:25,030 -After all this time? -Dude, you look so good. 1033 00:44:25,032 --> 00:44:26,231 -For real? -Yeah, yeah. 1034 00:44:26,233 --> 00:44:27,933 Is that-- You look-- Did you lose weight? 1035 00:44:27,935 --> 00:44:29,234 Is that a new sweater? 1036 00:44:29,236 --> 00:44:31,703 Honestly, no, I've had this sweater for... 1037 00:44:31,705 --> 00:44:33,138 Well, you should keep wearing it. 1038 00:44:33,140 --> 00:44:34,873 It's the guilt eating away at you, I'm sure. 1039 00:44:34,875 --> 00:44:36,141 -BALLS: The guilt? -Christine. 1040 00:44:36,143 --> 00:44:37,209 -What? -Don't say that. 1041 00:44:37,211 --> 00:44:38,911 What? 1042 00:44:38,913 --> 00:44:40,779 Guilt about what? What are you talking about, Christine? 1043 00:44:40,781 --> 00:44:42,080 BALLS: Is that your name? 1044 00:44:42,082 --> 00:44:44,016 Christine, have I done something to offend you? 1045 00:44:44,018 --> 00:44:46,451 Because if I have, or like upset you or something, then I'm-- 1046 00:44:46,453 --> 00:44:47,920 No, no, no. You know what? Forget it. 1047 00:44:47,922 --> 00:44:49,121 I'm not going to Oyster Bay. 1048 00:44:49,123 --> 00:44:50,022 CHRISTINE: Don't apologize to me. What? 1049 00:44:50,024 --> 00:44:51,089 -Guys. -BALLS: Why not? 1050 00:44:51,091 --> 00:44:52,357 -It's a birthday party. -Because. 1051 00:44:52,359 --> 00:44:53,892 CHRISTINE: Go! Run, run, run! 1052 00:44:53,894 --> 00:44:55,229 ALEX: Go Judey, go Judey, go Jude! 1053 00:44:57,131 --> 00:44:58,964 Oh, you got my... She got my... 1054 00:44:58,966 --> 00:45:00,832 You're gonna be part of this trick, okay? 1055 00:45:00,834 --> 00:45:02,000 -All right. -Can all three of us do it? 1056 00:45:02,002 --> 00:45:03,168 -Yeah. -Yeah, 1057 00:45:03,170 --> 00:45:04,805 all three of you can do it. Okay. 1058 00:45:05,105 --> 00:45:07,472 -I think I took too much. -CHRISTINE: Honey. Oh. 1059 00:45:07,474 --> 00:45:09,141 (MUSIC CONTINUES IN BACKGROUND) 1060 00:45:09,143 --> 00:45:11,312 I didn't... I didn't know I was holding the dog. 1061 00:45:12,413 --> 00:45:14,048 Well, this is pretty good. 1062 00:45:15,349 --> 00:45:17,818 TESS: I'm not the reason you're not coming to Oyster Bay, am I? 1063 00:45:19,186 --> 00:45:20,452 Oh, God, no. Not at all. 1064 00:45:20,454 --> 00:45:22,087 I mean, 'cause we can all go. 1065 00:45:22,089 --> 00:45:23,789 It doesn't have to be awkward. Right? 1066 00:45:23,791 --> 00:45:26,792 -No... you mean like it is now? -TESS: (CHUCKLES) 1067 00:45:26,794 --> 00:45:29,529 Hey, sorry that I just kinda lost it earlier. 1068 00:45:29,531 --> 00:45:30,495 I felt really attacked by all those guys. 1069 00:45:30,497 --> 00:45:32,331 Yeah. 1070 00:45:32,333 --> 00:45:33,232 I mean, why are we even talking about Oyster Bay now at all? 1071 00:45:33,234 --> 00:45:35,200 -I know. -It's so far away. 1072 00:45:35,202 --> 00:45:36,536 -(SCOFFS) They're crazy. -Those guys, 1073 00:45:36,538 --> 00:45:37,903 you know they're psychos when it comes to planning. 1074 00:45:37,905 --> 00:45:39,972 -(CHUCKLES) Yes. -(SIGHS) 1075 00:45:39,974 --> 00:45:42,474 All I know is we made a couple wonderful boys. 1076 00:45:42,476 --> 00:45:44,044 -(KIDS CHATTERING) -Right? 1077 00:45:44,512 --> 00:45:45,911 Yeah. 1078 00:45:45,913 --> 00:45:47,946 (WHOOPING) 1079 00:45:47,948 --> 00:45:53,252 ALL: ♪ Happy birthday, dear Jude ♪ 1080 00:45:53,254 --> 00:45:58,056 ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ 1081 00:45:58,058 --> 00:45:59,258 -(EXHALES) -(DRUM ROLL) 1082 00:45:59,260 --> 00:46:04,062 (CHEERING) 1083 00:46:04,064 --> 00:46:07,334 -(BANGING ON DRUM) -(CHEERS) 1084 00:46:12,106 --> 00:46:13,905 (DRUMMING CONTINUES) 1085 00:46:13,907 --> 00:46:16,908 (HOOTING) 1086 00:46:16,910 --> 00:46:18,443 (KIDS SHRIEKING) 1087 00:46:18,445 --> 00:46:20,345 (DRUMMING CONTINUES) 1088 00:46:20,347 --> 00:46:22,416 -(STOPS) -(LAUGHING) 1089 00:46:23,083 --> 00:46:25,352 (HOOTING) 1090 00:46:27,054 --> 00:46:30,856 -(DRUMMING CONTINUES) -(KIDS SHOUTING) 1091 00:46:30,858 --> 00:46:32,357 (DRUMMING) 1092 00:46:32,359 --> 00:46:35,060 (ALEX LAUGHING) 1093 00:46:35,062 --> 00:46:38,163 -(DRUMMING) -(SHOUTING) 1094 00:46:38,165 --> 00:46:40,134 (LAUGHING) 1095 00:46:42,102 --> 00:46:44,471 (DRUMMING CONTINUES) 1096 00:46:45,372 --> 00:46:47,205 -(LAUGHS) -(SQUEALS) 1097 00:46:47,207 --> 00:46:50,077 -You got it all over you. -I know! (LAUGHS) I-- 1098 00:46:50,512 --> 00:46:52,479 You got it all over you, too. 1099 00:46:53,147 --> 00:46:55,380 BALLS: What does that have to do with, like, opening wine? 1100 00:46:55,382 --> 00:46:56,850 -Hi. -Hi. 1101 00:46:57,318 --> 00:46:58,450 ALEX: Thank you so much for coming. 1102 00:46:58,452 --> 00:46:58,917 NINA: Thank you so much for having me. 1103 00:46:58,919 --> 00:47:00,520 You were awesome. 1104 00:47:00,522 --> 00:47:01,554 -Yeah, I really appreciate it. -The kids loved it. 1105 00:47:01,556 --> 00:47:02,588 -Hey, that was amazing. -Thank you. Thank you. 1106 00:47:02,590 --> 00:47:03,623 Oh. My balance is off. 1107 00:47:03,625 --> 00:47:04,990 -Nice to meet you. -You okay? 1108 00:47:04,992 --> 00:47:05,457 -This is my buddy. -Nice to meet you. 1109 00:47:05,459 --> 00:47:06,425 Balls. 1110 00:47:06,427 --> 00:47:07,993 -Balls? -Yeah. 1111 00:47:07,995 --> 00:47:09,461 Cool. Okay. 1112 00:47:09,463 --> 00:47:10,429 Happens every time. 1113 00:47:10,431 --> 00:47:11,533 Don't make my mom do that. 1114 00:47:13,167 --> 00:47:15,367 -What happens every time? -Nothin'. 1115 00:47:15,369 --> 00:47:16,504 (WHISPERS) Okay, what's the deal? 1116 00:47:18,272 --> 00:47:19,938 You mean with why you still have that beard 1117 00:47:19,940 --> 00:47:21,173 even though the play's been over for two months? 1118 00:47:21,175 --> 00:47:22,941 I can't choose when the character leaves me. 1119 00:47:22,943 --> 00:47:24,242 ALEX: Characters, you mean. 1120 00:47:24,244 --> 00:47:26,478 Actually, I feel like maybe it's providing, 1121 00:47:26,480 --> 00:47:28,413 like, a new thing for casting directors, 1122 00:47:28,415 --> 00:47:30,315 now that I'm working again. Thank you for coming by the way. 1123 00:47:30,317 --> 00:47:32,017 Twice. I came twice. 1124 00:47:32,019 --> 00:47:33,418 And you didn't even go on the second time. 1125 00:47:33,420 --> 00:47:35,120 I know. 1126 00:47:35,122 --> 00:47:38,624 It's because that asshole Paul said he was gonna be sick 1127 00:47:38,626 --> 00:47:40,125 and then he showed up anyway. 1128 00:47:40,127 --> 00:47:42,994 But I was psyched because he got St. Paul sick, 1129 00:47:42,996 --> 00:47:44,229 and I went up for two weeks straight. 1130 00:47:44,231 --> 00:47:45,964 -It was amazing. -Yeah, that's a bonus. 1131 00:47:45,966 --> 00:47:47,432 And people said that I was, like... 1132 00:47:47,434 --> 00:47:49,034 -Yeah. -...better. 1133 00:47:49,036 --> 00:47:50,168 -Than him? -Yeah. 1134 00:47:50,170 --> 00:47:51,336 Yeah. I bet. 1135 00:47:51,338 --> 00:47:53,038 -I got recognized on the street. -Did you? 1136 00:47:53,040 --> 00:47:55,073 Somebody literally thought I was a disciple. It was great. 1137 00:47:55,075 --> 00:47:57,311 But I think maybe they were, like, a Jesus freak. But... 1138 00:47:58,011 --> 00:47:59,444 They're not a fan of the play necessarily. 1139 00:47:59,446 --> 00:48:01,213 Well, they saw the play a lot. 1140 00:48:01,215 --> 00:48:04,517 I think they saw the play almost all the two weeks that I did it. 1141 00:48:04,519 --> 00:48:06,586 So, I didn't really tell them that I was the understudy. 1142 00:48:06,588 --> 00:48:08,353 -But anyway, this is about you. -Right. 1143 00:48:08,355 --> 00:48:11,392 Don't fucking... Don't fucking change the subject. 1144 00:48:13,494 --> 00:48:14,461 Let me rephrase it. 1145 00:48:15,663 --> 00:48:17,431 What's the deal, man? 1146 00:48:18,499 --> 00:48:20,401 Yeah, I don't know what to tell you, man. There is no deal. 1147 00:48:21,068 --> 00:48:22,202 Okay. 1148 00:48:22,704 --> 00:48:24,071 You don't want to tell me her name? 1149 00:48:25,005 --> 00:48:26,271 (SIGHS) 1150 00:48:26,273 --> 00:48:27,107 All right. 1151 00:48:27,675 --> 00:48:29,474 (CLEARS THROAT) 1152 00:48:29,476 --> 00:48:30,643 If I tell you something, you promise you won't tell anybody? 1153 00:48:30,645 --> 00:48:32,246 No. Keep going. What's her name? 1154 00:48:33,213 --> 00:48:34,212 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 1155 00:48:34,214 --> 00:48:35,482 I've been doing stand-up. 1156 00:48:36,150 --> 00:48:37,349 Oh. 1157 00:48:37,351 --> 00:48:38,651 I don't know who that is. 1158 00:48:38,653 --> 00:48:40,352 That's a crazy handle. What? Is she famous? 1159 00:48:40,354 --> 00:48:41,987 No, no, no. Dude, 1160 00:48:41,989 --> 00:48:44,322 I've been doing stand-up comedy on stage downtown. 1161 00:48:44,324 --> 00:48:45,225 Okay. 1162 00:48:46,360 --> 00:48:47,593 What? 1163 00:48:47,595 --> 00:48:48,630 Is it like a hobby? 1164 00:48:50,397 --> 00:48:52,632 Well, I'm not about to quit my job and go on tour. 1165 00:48:52,634 --> 00:48:53,500 Okay. 1166 00:48:56,236 --> 00:48:58,336 Yeah. It's just, I-I mean, I love it, man. 1167 00:48:58,338 --> 00:49:01,239 It's great. I-- You know, it's actually pretty amazing. 1168 00:49:01,241 --> 00:49:04,176 And it's terrifying, but I love every aspect of it, 1169 00:49:04,178 --> 00:49:06,111 and it's something I look forward to. 1170 00:49:06,113 --> 00:49:07,214 -Fuck. -What? 1171 00:49:10,518 --> 00:49:12,618 (SIGHS) 1172 00:49:12,620 --> 00:49:13,454 I knew it. 1173 00:49:15,088 --> 00:49:15,723 Knew what? 1174 00:49:17,357 --> 00:49:19,527 (CHUCKLES) Just like... 1175 00:49:22,564 --> 00:49:25,297 You've always been the funniest guy in the room forever, right? 1176 00:49:25,299 --> 00:49:26,699 Ever since college, 1177 00:49:26,701 --> 00:49:28,266 and now that you're actually fucking pursuing it... 1178 00:49:28,268 --> 00:49:29,502 I'm not pursing anything. 1179 00:49:29,504 --> 00:49:31,271 You're gonna kill it. It's inevitable. 1180 00:49:32,039 --> 00:49:36,744 And it kills me that I hate it so much because I-I have... 1181 00:49:37,377 --> 00:49:39,077 (CLEARS THROAT) ...always gotten comfort 1182 00:49:39,079 --> 00:49:40,278 in knowing that you settled. 1183 00:49:40,280 --> 00:49:41,549 That you're a settler. 1184 00:49:43,250 --> 00:49:46,053 And I-I'm the guy who... 1185 00:49:47,555 --> 00:49:50,121 Even though, you know, is going for it. That's my thing. 1186 00:49:50,123 --> 00:49:51,691 Jesus, Balls. 1187 00:49:51,693 --> 00:49:53,759 I know. It's been a lot for me to carry around. 1188 00:49:53,761 --> 00:49:55,494 Just so nothing gets misconstrued, 1189 00:49:55,496 --> 00:49:56,762 I don't have a girlfriend. 1190 00:49:56,764 --> 00:49:58,531 -Oh, you do whatever you want. -I don't. 1191 00:49:58,533 --> 00:49:59,632 Look, it doesn't matter. 1192 00:49:59,634 --> 00:50:00,800 You don't have to justify yourself. 1193 00:50:00,802 --> 00:50:02,467 You're famous now, anyway. So, whatevs. 1194 00:50:02,469 --> 00:50:03,703 What are you talking about, man? 1195 00:50:03,705 --> 00:50:05,237 Look, you don't have to justify yourself. 1196 00:50:05,239 --> 00:50:06,306 Listen to me. To anybody. 1197 00:50:06,641 --> 00:50:08,306 Not to Tess, not to anybody. 1198 00:50:08,308 --> 00:50:11,044 Just like Tess doesn't have to justify herself to you. 1199 00:50:11,746 --> 00:50:12,714 Justify what? 1200 00:50:15,182 --> 00:50:16,216 Nothing. 1201 00:50:16,651 --> 00:50:19,217 -Is Tess seeing someone? -No. 1202 00:50:19,219 --> 00:50:20,418 I mean, is she open to it? 1203 00:50:20,420 --> 00:50:21,453 I wouldn't know. I don't think so. 1204 00:50:21,455 --> 00:50:23,525 But is she? Yeah. Maybe. 1205 00:50:24,491 --> 00:50:25,658 Did Christine say something? 1206 00:50:25,660 --> 00:50:26,792 Who? 1207 00:50:26,794 --> 00:50:27,729 Christine? 1208 00:50:28,696 --> 00:50:29,795 Ab-About what? 1209 00:50:29,797 --> 00:50:31,329 About Tess seeing somebody. 1210 00:50:31,331 --> 00:50:32,366 No. Did she? 1211 00:50:32,734 --> 00:50:33,735 I'm asking you. 1212 00:50:35,603 --> 00:50:37,135 -What are you-- -Well, did you hear anything? 1213 00:50:37,137 --> 00:50:38,303 What did Christine say about it? 1214 00:50:38,305 --> 00:50:39,741 What did she say? 1215 00:50:40,173 --> 00:50:41,509 Dude, I'm asking you. 1216 00:50:46,113 --> 00:50:48,514 Hey, Olga? I just put a bunch of trash there. 1217 00:50:48,516 --> 00:50:50,315 -Is there anything else? -No. All good. Thank you. 1218 00:50:50,317 --> 00:50:52,085 Good. Okay. Thank you. 1219 00:50:53,420 --> 00:50:54,388 (SIGHS) 1220 00:50:55,422 --> 00:50:56,290 Hey. 1221 00:50:57,792 --> 00:50:59,326 -Yeah? -TESS: Are you leaving? 1222 00:51:01,596 --> 00:51:03,163 I was just finishing cleaning up. 1223 00:51:04,498 --> 00:51:05,833 Yeah, I-I gotta go. 1224 00:51:12,239 --> 00:51:13,206 (DOOR CLOSES) 1225 00:51:15,108 --> 00:51:16,174 How you doing? 1226 00:51:16,176 --> 00:51:17,677 (CHEERS) 1227 00:51:17,679 --> 00:51:18,846 All right. 1228 00:51:20,147 --> 00:51:21,348 (CLEARS THROAT) 1229 00:51:21,683 --> 00:51:24,149 Oh, man. I'm Alex. 1230 00:51:24,151 --> 00:51:25,417 How's everybody feeling tonight? 1231 00:51:25,419 --> 00:51:26,484 (AUDIENCE WHOOPS) 1232 00:51:26,486 --> 00:51:28,488 Good. I'm feeling pretty good. 1233 00:51:29,389 --> 00:51:32,758 I, uh-- I'm recently separated from my wife. 1234 00:51:32,760 --> 00:51:35,260 -(AUDIENCE AWWS) -No. Oh, thank you. 1235 00:51:35,262 --> 00:51:36,696 (LAUGHTER) 1236 00:51:36,698 --> 00:51:41,466 And, uh, I think that she's maybe seeing someone. 1237 00:51:41,468 --> 00:51:42,835 Yeah, I just found out the possibility 1238 00:51:42,837 --> 00:51:44,302 that she's seeing someone, 1239 00:51:44,304 --> 00:51:46,137 and I'm handling it just fine, I think. 1240 00:51:46,139 --> 00:51:48,440 -(SCATTERED LAUGHTER) -Right? And, uh... 1241 00:51:48,442 --> 00:51:50,810 So I just made up a list of, uh... 1242 00:51:50,812 --> 00:51:54,114 possible worst case scenarios, which I think is really healthy. 1243 00:51:54,348 --> 00:51:55,848 Number one. 1244 00:51:55,850 --> 00:51:58,853 This guy is a radiologist. 1245 00:51:59,319 --> 00:52:03,091 Because that would mean he's knowledgeable, 1246 00:52:03,558 --> 00:52:07,361 he's noble, and he makes a ton of money. 1247 00:52:08,161 --> 00:52:11,764 Terrible. So, that's number one. Number two. He surfs. 1248 00:52:11,766 --> 00:52:13,498 Because surfing is so fucking cool, 1249 00:52:13,500 --> 00:52:16,602 and those guys seem like they're really cool, 1250 00:52:16,604 --> 00:52:18,904 and that they, like, can do anything, 1251 00:52:18,906 --> 00:52:21,607 -and they drive old trucks. -(LAUGHTER) 1252 00:52:21,609 --> 00:52:24,277 You know, and they don't care, they never wear shoes. 1253 00:52:24,846 --> 00:52:27,815 And, uh, they never met a jar they couldn't open. 1254 00:52:28,315 --> 00:52:29,815 You know what I mean? 1255 00:52:29,817 --> 00:52:32,250 And they don't need to cut their hair, or do anything. 1256 00:52:32,252 --> 00:52:34,689 And they're always suntanned. Um... 1257 00:52:35,188 --> 00:52:37,255 And they look like they got really strong forearms, 1258 00:52:37,257 --> 00:52:38,356 you know? 1259 00:52:38,358 --> 00:52:40,926 Which is, thinking about, um, 1260 00:52:40,928 --> 00:52:43,194 someone you love, like a lady you love, 1261 00:52:43,196 --> 00:52:45,263 with a guy with really strong forearms. 1262 00:52:45,265 --> 00:52:46,599 (SCATTERED LAUGHTER) 1263 00:52:46,601 --> 00:52:50,672 Uh, my forearms are basically atrophied. Um... 1264 00:52:51,739 --> 00:52:54,341 No, that's not true. I actually do work out a fair bit. 1265 00:52:55,242 --> 00:52:58,511 I've got, um, what I would describe as, um, 1266 00:52:58,513 --> 00:53:00,713 and a lot of ladies would describe, as a dad bod. 1267 00:53:00,715 --> 00:53:03,549 (LAUGHTER, APPLAUDS) 1268 00:53:03,551 --> 00:53:06,819 By the way, it occurs to me that men have done a really good job 1269 00:53:06,821 --> 00:53:10,925 of convincing women that dad bods are a good thing. 1270 00:53:11,592 --> 00:53:13,893 You know? Like, we go, like, "Oh, he's got a dad bod." 1271 00:53:13,895 --> 00:53:18,329 We're like, "Okay." It's like we all got together and conspired. 1272 00:53:18,331 --> 00:53:19,732 You know what I mean? Anyway. 1273 00:53:19,734 --> 00:53:21,000 Um... 1274 00:53:21,002 --> 00:53:24,572 So, yeah, so... radiologist, surfer. 1275 00:53:25,907 --> 00:53:28,674 Nightmare if he was a surfing radiologist. 1276 00:53:28,676 --> 00:53:29,842 (LAUGHTER) 1277 00:53:29,844 --> 00:53:32,479 Because that would be... that would be... 1278 00:53:33,346 --> 00:53:34,847 (SIGHS) 1279 00:53:34,849 --> 00:53:37,785 (LAUGHTER) 1280 00:53:38,986 --> 00:53:42,353 It would, like-- Like, what, he's gonna pull up to my house 1281 00:53:42,355 --> 00:53:45,925 with his dumb, beautiful Porsche. 1282 00:53:45,927 --> 00:53:49,628 Um, and take her out on-- on a date? 1283 00:53:49,630 --> 00:53:50,932 (SCOFFS) 1284 00:53:51,766 --> 00:53:52,700 I mean... 1285 00:53:54,468 --> 00:53:56,671 Jill, this is where I got stuck. 1286 00:53:57,572 --> 00:53:58,971 JILL: Keep-- Keep going? 1287 00:53:58,973 --> 00:54:00,407 Yeah, I don't... Okay. 1288 00:54:00,942 --> 00:54:02,508 This is the... 1289 00:54:02,510 --> 00:54:04,442 What did I write on my thing after...? 1290 00:54:04,444 --> 00:54:05,611 JILL: You wrote-- 1291 00:54:05,613 --> 00:54:07,813 What did I say after I take them, uh... 1292 00:54:07,815 --> 00:54:08,781 I take them on a date? 1293 00:54:08,783 --> 00:54:09,949 It's right there on the thing. 1294 00:54:09,951 --> 00:54:11,784 JILL: It says "I have small penis." 1295 00:54:11,786 --> 00:54:13,652 It does not say I have a small penis! 1296 00:54:13,654 --> 00:54:15,690 -"I have a very small penis." -(LAUGHTER) 1297 00:54:17,457 --> 00:54:18,924 Oh, I follow them. 1298 00:54:18,926 --> 00:54:20,993 I follow them. I follow them. Thank you very much. 1299 00:54:20,995 --> 00:54:22,061 -JILL: You're welcome. -That's my friend Jill 1300 00:54:22,063 --> 00:54:23,929 who's very helpful, um... 1301 00:54:23,931 --> 00:54:25,698 By the way, if I had a small penis, 1302 00:54:25,700 --> 00:54:27,633 I wouldn't need to remind myself. (CHUCKLES) 1303 00:54:27,635 --> 00:54:30,069 -(LAUGHTER) -I feel like I would, um... 1304 00:54:30,071 --> 00:54:31,637 By the way, I don't. 1305 00:54:31,639 --> 00:54:32,738 Anyway. 1306 00:54:32,740 --> 00:54:34,807 (LAUGHTER) 1307 00:54:34,809 --> 00:54:36,443 I don't know. Uh... 1308 00:54:36,944 --> 00:54:37,979 And... 1309 00:54:38,579 --> 00:54:39,812 So, anyway... 1310 00:54:39,814 --> 00:54:41,379 (LAUGHS) 1311 00:54:41,381 --> 00:54:43,448 JILL: I-I left you a little something. 1312 00:54:43,450 --> 00:54:46,484 Just to for you to remember to have confidence. 1313 00:54:46,486 --> 00:54:49,021 The folder is unacceptable. Bright yellow? 1314 00:54:49,023 --> 00:54:50,790 Why? This is where I keep everything organized. 1315 00:54:50,792 --> 00:54:54,527 JILL: It's just, "I'm a dad coming to--" We don't do that. 1316 00:54:54,529 --> 00:54:57,029 We have it in here, like adults. 1317 00:54:57,031 --> 00:54:59,598 ALEX: I like the way that you even wrote it in uppercase 1318 00:54:59,600 --> 00:55:01,100 just to make sure that it looks like I wrote it. 1319 00:55:01,102 --> 00:55:02,601 -Like a dude wrote it. -Yeah, yeah. 1320 00:55:02,603 --> 00:55:05,436 I embossed it. I matched your handwriting. 1321 00:55:05,438 --> 00:55:07,873 It's untraceable. To me. 1322 00:55:07,875 --> 00:55:09,608 ALEX: (CHUCKLES) 1323 00:55:09,610 --> 00:55:12,443 I think we should fuck. I think we should fuck. 1324 00:55:12,445 --> 00:55:13,846 -ALEX: You and me? -Yeah. 1325 00:55:13,848 --> 00:55:15,714 Is that crazy? I think we should fuck. 1326 00:55:15,716 --> 00:55:16,818 Is that crazy? 1327 00:55:17,051 --> 00:55:18,586 We're gonna fuck. 1328 00:55:36,504 --> 00:55:37,805 (JILL GASPS) 1329 00:55:48,481 --> 00:55:49,617 Are you a nurse? 1330 00:55:50,450 --> 00:55:51,984 No, I'm a comedian. 1331 00:55:51,986 --> 00:55:53,484 Are you a fucking nurse? 1332 00:55:53,486 --> 00:55:54,689 Don't let my cat out. 1333 00:55:59,660 --> 00:56:03,130 (DISTANT SIREN WAILS) 1334 00:56:08,669 --> 00:56:10,104 (BUZZER RINGS) 1335 00:56:14,008 --> 00:56:15,541 Jill? 1336 00:56:15,543 --> 00:56:17,845 JILL: And don't answer my buzzer. 1337 00:56:25,953 --> 00:56:28,587 JUDE: I understand it now, so I'm good. 1338 00:56:28,589 --> 00:56:29,889 FELIX: Same. 1339 00:56:29,891 --> 00:56:30,756 JUDE: No, you don't understand it now, dude. 1340 00:56:30,758 --> 00:56:32,423 Yes, I do, anyways. 1341 00:56:32,425 --> 00:56:34,492 You guys gonna crush this "Under Pressure" thing or what? 1342 00:56:34,494 --> 00:56:36,195 -Gonna crush it. -You're screwing me up. 1343 00:56:36,197 --> 00:56:37,730 -Dad? -Yeah? 1344 00:56:37,732 --> 00:56:39,967 -Are you sad? -No. Why, do I look sad? 1345 00:56:44,071 --> 00:56:47,172 Hey! No, hey, hey. What the fuck, guys? 1346 00:56:47,174 --> 00:56:48,609 Sorry. 1347 00:56:49,710 --> 00:56:52,511 Guys, where'd you find this? 1348 00:56:52,513 --> 00:56:53,512 -By your bed. -By your bed. 1349 00:56:53,514 --> 00:56:55,014 Like where the stand is. 1350 00:56:55,016 --> 00:56:57,549 Okay. You're not supposed to touch other people's stuff. 1351 00:56:57,551 --> 00:56:59,084 But it was like, right on your side table. 1352 00:56:59,086 --> 00:57:01,120 -I know, I know, I know. -It's right where I sleep. 1353 00:57:01,122 --> 00:57:02,521 I know, but when peop-- 1354 00:57:02,523 --> 00:57:03,656 It was right next to where we sleep. 1355 00:57:03,658 --> 00:57:05,057 I know, but when people leave stuff-- 1356 00:57:05,059 --> 00:57:06,926 When it's other people's personal property 1357 00:57:06,928 --> 00:57:08,527 that's obviously their property, 1358 00:57:08,529 --> 00:57:09,962 you don't touch it, okay? 1359 00:57:09,964 --> 00:57:11,697 Like, that's just like a rule in life. 1360 00:57:11,699 --> 00:57:13,065 JUDE: Yeah, but it's weird. Like, really weird. 1361 00:57:13,067 --> 00:57:14,902 Okay, I know. But it's just... 1362 00:57:15,569 --> 00:57:17,838 (SIGHS) It's just a joke book, okay? 1363 00:57:18,839 --> 00:57:20,074 Jokes? 1364 00:57:20,608 --> 00:57:23,177 (SIGHS) No, more like... just maybe... 1365 00:57:24,712 --> 00:57:26,078 jokes that I've been thinking about. 1366 00:57:26,080 --> 00:57:27,947 You know, like, like made up... 1367 00:57:27,949 --> 00:57:29,548 -funny stories. -They aren't funny, Dad. 1368 00:57:29,550 --> 00:57:32,117 You write about so much stuff, like... radio-ologist. 1369 00:57:32,119 --> 00:57:33,521 And surfer. 1370 00:57:35,656 --> 00:57:39,226 -What's a radio-ologist? -And talk about us and Mom. 1371 00:57:40,127 --> 00:57:42,594 I know, I know, but you guys-- you guys are real. 1372 00:57:42,596 --> 00:57:44,029 And me and your mom are real. 1373 00:57:44,031 --> 00:57:46,999 And the radiologist is made up. He's a kind of doctor. 1374 00:57:47,001 --> 00:57:49,034 And the surfer... The surfer's made up. 1375 00:57:49,036 --> 00:57:51,572 Those are just characters, okay? And-- and it's like, I'm... 1376 00:57:53,975 --> 00:57:57,242 It's like I'm making up stories, you know, 1377 00:57:57,244 --> 00:57:59,745 because a lot of stuff is changing. 1378 00:57:59,747 --> 00:58:02,614 Right? And it's-- and it's kind of a way to process it all. 1379 00:58:02,616 --> 00:58:04,216 -Do you know what I mean? -Mm-hmm. 1380 00:58:04,218 --> 00:58:07,521 ALEX: Oh, no. Come on. Come on, come on. Hey, hey. 1381 00:58:08,622 --> 00:58:10,189 Hey, listen. Hey, hey. 1382 00:58:10,191 --> 00:58:11,890 No, listen, none of it's real. 1383 00:58:11,892 --> 00:58:13,859 That's all made-up stuff, okay? 1384 00:58:13,861 --> 00:58:15,861 Come on. Come on. It's just made up. 1385 00:58:15,863 --> 00:58:19,033 None of it's real life, really. Okay? 1386 00:58:19,567 --> 00:58:21,569 You know how sometimes you use your imagination... 1387 00:58:22,570 --> 00:58:25,806 to make up stories, you know? And games and stuff? 1388 00:58:26,640 --> 00:58:27,475 It's like that. 1389 00:58:29,010 --> 00:58:31,243 It's like the grown-up version of that. 1390 00:58:31,245 --> 00:58:32,780 And I'm-- I'm just-- 1391 00:58:36,017 --> 00:58:37,952 I don't know what I'm doing. (SIGHS) 1392 00:58:39,887 --> 00:58:41,120 But you can ask me anything 1393 00:58:41,122 --> 00:58:42,621 and I'll tell you the truth, okay? 1394 00:58:42,623 --> 00:58:44,990 Okay, but it's weird, Dad. 1395 00:58:44,992 --> 00:58:47,094 I know. Life's weird. 1396 00:58:50,097 --> 00:58:51,599 (SIGHS) 1397 00:58:53,300 --> 00:58:55,236 -(PHONE BUZZES) -(SIGHS) 1398 00:58:57,972 --> 00:59:00,105 -Hey, Kemp. -KEMP: Hey. I got a set for you. 1399 00:59:00,107 --> 00:59:01,275 O-Okay. 1400 00:59:01,709 --> 00:59:03,242 It's so weird. 1401 00:59:03,244 --> 00:59:05,846 -Like an open mic thing? -KEMP: No, no, no, guest spot. 1402 00:59:06,013 --> 00:59:07,312 -Really? -KEMP: Yep. 1403 00:59:07,314 --> 00:59:08,949 Wow. Okay. 1404 00:59:10,051 --> 00:59:12,317 -When? Is... -Tonight, 8:00. 1405 00:59:12,319 --> 00:59:14,286 -Tonight, as in today, tonight? -Yeah. 1406 00:59:14,288 --> 00:59:15,788 (SIGHS, STAMMERS) 1407 00:59:15,790 --> 00:59:17,256 No, I don't know. I don't know if I can-- 1408 00:59:17,258 --> 00:59:19,627 I don't know if I can really step-- step away. 1409 00:59:20,261 --> 00:59:22,127 -(HORN HONKS) -No, no. Wait. Sorry. Sorry. 1410 00:59:22,129 --> 00:59:23,629 No, no, no. Wait. I'll do it. I'll do it. 1411 00:59:23,631 --> 00:59:24,198 Fuck it. I'll do it. I'll do it. 1412 00:59:24,965 --> 00:59:26,098 (LOCK RATTLES) 1413 00:59:26,100 --> 00:59:27,332 -Hey. Hey. -TESS: Hey. 1414 00:59:27,334 --> 00:59:29,001 What's going on? Is everything okay? 1415 00:59:29,003 --> 00:59:30,002 Yeah, everything's great. Everything's great. 1416 00:59:30,004 --> 00:59:31,370 Everything's good. 1417 00:59:31,372 --> 00:59:32,905 -Are the boys okay? -Yeah, the boys are great. 1418 00:59:32,907 --> 00:59:34,206 Hey, listen, do you mind 1419 00:59:34,208 --> 00:59:35,841 if I drop them off here for a couple hours? 1420 00:59:35,843 --> 00:59:37,910 -I know it's last minute, but-- -What the fuck? 1421 00:59:37,912 --> 00:59:39,344 No, no, I-- Listen, Tess, please-- 1422 00:59:39,346 --> 00:59:41,914 Listen, don't ambush me like this in front of the boys 1423 00:59:41,916 --> 00:59:44,283 as though they can't come home whenever they want. 1424 00:59:44,285 --> 00:59:47,319 Like I'm trying to keep them from being inside? (INHALES) 1425 00:59:47,321 --> 00:59:49,356 Come on. That sucks. 1426 00:59:50,091 --> 00:59:51,826 -Look-- -You suck. 1427 00:59:53,194 --> 00:59:54,628 You suck! 1428 00:59:55,162 --> 00:59:56,929 -What the fuck? -Hey, where are you going? 1429 00:59:56,931 --> 00:59:58,730 You know, I got it covered. 1430 00:59:58,732 --> 01:00:00,299 -No, where are you going? -No, no, forget it. Forget it. 1431 01:00:00,301 --> 01:00:01,366 -TESS: Hey, Lucy! No! -Yeah. Good. 1432 01:00:01,368 --> 01:00:02,835 Let's go, Charlie, let's go! 1433 01:00:02,837 --> 01:00:04,770 -No, Charlie, stay! -No, I got 'em all. 1434 01:00:04,772 --> 01:00:05,904 -What? -I got it covered. 1435 01:00:05,906 --> 01:00:07,106 You don't even have leashes. 1436 01:00:07,108 --> 01:00:09,274 No, it's okay. I got my own leashes. 1437 01:00:09,276 --> 01:00:11,312 -(GASPS) -I got lots of leashes. 1438 01:00:12,113 --> 01:00:13,846 (GROANS) 1439 01:00:13,848 --> 01:00:15,114 ALEX: Okay. 1440 01:00:15,116 --> 01:00:17,084 -Hi, Grandma! -MARILYN: Puppy dogs! 1441 01:00:18,119 --> 01:00:21,086 -MARILYN: Hi, darlin's. -I'm sorry. Sorry about this. 1442 01:00:21,088 --> 01:00:22,387 I know it's last minute. Come on. 1443 01:00:22,389 --> 01:00:24,990 Please. I'm so happy that you thought of us. 1444 01:00:24,992 --> 01:00:27,059 Are you kidding? Who else would we think of? 1445 01:00:27,061 --> 01:00:29,294 -Please do not feed the dogs. -Hi, Grandpa. 1446 01:00:29,296 --> 01:00:30,729 Okay. 1447 01:00:30,731 --> 01:00:33,065 -Hey, Dad. Hi. Hey. -Hey, son. Hi. 1448 01:00:33,067 --> 01:00:34,399 No, no, no. 1449 01:00:34,401 --> 01:00:36,068 -I can't stay for dinner. -What? 1450 01:00:36,070 --> 01:00:38,070 -I gotta go back to the city. -Well, yes, you can. 1451 01:00:38,072 --> 01:00:41,673 It's not good to run around on an empty stomach. 1452 01:00:41,675 --> 01:00:44,176 Read between the lines, Marilyn. He's got a hot date. 1453 01:00:44,178 --> 01:00:45,944 -Dad, don't-- -Hot date? 1454 01:00:45,946 --> 01:00:47,980 -You can stay for a quick bite. -Dad has a hot date? 1455 01:00:47,982 --> 01:00:49,381 No, I can't stay for a quick bite. 1456 01:00:49,383 --> 01:00:51,183 -I gotta get back to the city. -Do you have any Jell-O? 1457 01:00:51,185 --> 01:00:53,418 I told you-- No, no, no. I have to go-- 1458 01:00:53,420 --> 01:00:55,320 If you must know, I gotta get changed 1459 01:00:55,322 --> 01:00:56,889 and I'm going to a comedy club. 1460 01:00:56,891 --> 01:00:58,824 What? Well, you can go later. 1461 01:00:58,826 --> 01:01:00,292 You know, you want to go later, 1462 01:01:00,294 --> 01:01:02,027 because they usually put the guys 1463 01:01:02,029 --> 01:01:03,395 who ain't so funny at the beginning, 1464 01:01:03,397 --> 01:01:05,330 and then... so the pros look better later on. 1465 01:01:05,332 --> 01:01:08,102 No, I can't-- I can't be late because I'm... 1466 01:01:08,702 --> 01:01:10,671 -I'm one of the guys going up. -What? 1467 01:01:11,805 --> 01:01:13,272 I've been doing open mic nights. 1468 01:01:13,274 --> 01:01:15,307 -FELIX: What's an open mic? -I just-- And, they-- 1469 01:01:15,309 --> 01:01:16,441 I just got a call that one of the comics 1470 01:01:16,443 --> 01:01:18,177 who's emceeing at the club tonight, 1471 01:01:18,179 --> 01:01:20,312 they agreed to give me ten minutes on stage. 1472 01:01:20,314 --> 01:01:21,780 I'm one of the acts. One of the comedy acts. 1473 01:01:21,782 --> 01:01:23,348 -JAN: You? -Yeah, me. 1474 01:01:23,350 --> 01:01:27,421 Well-- so, I don't know-- What do you do, you tell jokes? 1475 01:01:28,155 --> 01:01:30,222 I mean, sort of. Well, kind of... 1476 01:01:30,224 --> 01:01:32,024 more like funny stories about my life. 1477 01:01:32,026 --> 01:01:33,458 -Oh, honey. -What's funny about your life? 1478 01:01:33,460 --> 01:01:35,160 I had no idea your life was so bad. 1479 01:01:35,162 --> 01:01:36,962 No, no, no, it's not so bad. 1480 01:01:36,964 --> 01:01:39,164 -This is why she threw you out! -What's funny about your life? 1481 01:01:39,166 --> 01:01:41,400 -FELIX: She threw you out? -Nobody threw me out, guys. 1482 01:01:41,402 --> 01:01:43,869 No, I love her. Mom, what are you doing? 1483 01:01:43,871 --> 01:01:45,437 Nobody threw me out. Nobody threw me out. 1484 01:01:45,439 --> 01:01:46,506 -I left by mutual consent. -FELIX: She threw you out? 1485 01:01:46,508 --> 01:01:49,308 No. Everybody knows that. I left by mutual consent. 1486 01:01:49,310 --> 01:01:52,144 And, by the way, I'm not in a bad place. I'm happy. 1487 01:01:52,146 --> 01:01:54,848 And doing this, it makes me feel good. 1488 01:01:55,249 --> 01:01:58,750 -You know? It helps. -How? How does it help 1489 01:01:58,752 --> 01:02:01,420 to have a roomful of people laughing at you? 1490 01:02:01,422 --> 01:02:03,055 -They're not laughing at me. -Son. Son. 1491 01:02:03,057 --> 01:02:04,790 And it's not bad to have them laugh. 1492 01:02:04,792 --> 01:02:07,192 Son, you know what this is? This is a mid-life crisis. 1493 01:02:07,194 --> 01:02:08,760 -That's what it is. -Oh, Dad... 1494 01:02:08,762 --> 01:02:11,296 So, why you... Just go get yourself a motorcycle. 1495 01:02:11,298 --> 01:02:12,931 I don't know. A leather jacket. 1496 01:02:12,933 --> 01:02:14,099 No. Dad, listen. I love you very much. 1497 01:02:14,101 --> 01:02:15,767 -I love you all. Love you guys. -Come on. 1498 01:02:15,769 --> 01:02:17,336 I will see you in the morning. Thank you so much. 1499 01:02:17,338 --> 01:02:19,271 FELIX: Remember to pick us up on your new motorcycle! 1500 01:02:19,273 --> 01:02:20,973 Nobody's getting a motorcycle. 1501 01:02:20,975 --> 01:02:24,078 No, it is definitely not a date. 1502 01:02:24,478 --> 01:02:28,280 Because he has a wife, and he's had children. 1503 01:02:28,282 --> 01:02:30,150 They've been together for ages. 1504 01:02:30,851 --> 01:02:33,020 Yes, yes. Always just friends. 1505 01:02:33,521 --> 01:02:35,020 He called because he heard that 1506 01:02:35,022 --> 01:02:36,757 I was putting out feelers about coaching. 1507 01:02:50,204 --> 01:02:51,238 (HORN HONKING) 1508 01:02:54,041 --> 01:02:55,042 Okay. 1509 01:02:55,843 --> 01:02:57,478 (HORNS HONKING) 1510 01:03:01,549 --> 01:03:03,982 -Hey. I'm meeting... -Hi, welcome. 1511 01:03:03,984 --> 01:03:05,986 I see him right there. Thank you. 1512 01:03:07,221 --> 01:03:09,089 -(JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS) -(LOUD CHATTER) 1513 01:03:10,858 --> 01:03:12,893 TESS: Excuse me. Hey. 1514 01:03:13,528 --> 01:03:14,893 MAN: How you doing? 1515 01:03:14,895 --> 01:03:16,194 "We're gonna need that hand, Roche!" 1516 01:03:16,196 --> 01:03:19,097 -(LAUGHING) Stop. -(LAUGHING) 1517 01:03:19,099 --> 01:03:21,833 I used to slam the floor so fucking hard 1518 01:03:21,835 --> 01:03:23,603 and pretend it didn't hurt. 1519 01:03:23,605 --> 01:03:25,837 Look, that's what made you a champion. 1520 01:03:25,839 --> 01:03:28,142 Your singular focus, your dedication. 1521 01:03:29,209 --> 01:03:32,010 That's why I heard you wanted to get into coaching, 1522 01:03:32,012 --> 01:03:33,245 I had to reach out. 1523 01:03:33,247 --> 01:03:34,946 It's very flattering. 1524 01:03:34,948 --> 01:03:36,516 I was really excited you reached out. 1525 01:03:36,518 --> 01:03:38,917 Half the US Women's volleyball team 1526 01:03:38,919 --> 01:03:41,219 has come out of our program. 1527 01:03:41,221 --> 01:03:43,322 And the truth is, I've been missing it 1528 01:03:43,324 --> 01:03:45,359 every single day since I retired. 1529 01:03:45,993 --> 01:03:47,527 I just... 1530 01:03:47,529 --> 01:03:50,431 Yeah, I knew coaching would be a great way back in. 1531 01:03:50,864 --> 01:03:52,598 I guess part of me didn't want to accept 1532 01:03:52,600 --> 01:03:54,368 that I wasn't a player anymore. 1533 01:03:54,868 --> 01:03:57,336 You know, so much of my identity was wrapped up in it and... 1534 01:03:57,338 --> 01:03:59,471 I get that. But I'm telling you, 1535 01:03:59,473 --> 01:04:02,140 coaching fills that void for you. 1536 01:04:02,142 --> 01:04:03,975 It forces you to shift gears. 1537 01:04:03,977 --> 01:04:06,445 You stop using the phrase, "Hey, back when I played..." 1538 01:04:06,447 --> 01:04:07,580 (SCOFFS) Right. 1539 01:04:07,582 --> 01:04:10,384 You learn to make everyone better 1540 01:04:10,951 --> 01:04:13,285 without comparing them to yourself. 1541 01:04:13,287 --> 01:04:15,287 Right. Amazing. 1542 01:04:15,289 --> 01:04:17,155 Is-- Is it frustrating? 1543 01:04:17,157 --> 01:04:20,158 -Yes! Absolutely frustrating. -Oh. Okay. 1544 01:04:20,160 --> 01:04:21,360 That's just a given. 1545 01:04:21,362 --> 01:04:23,161 I think it'll always be that way. 1546 01:04:23,163 --> 01:04:26,331 But for me, I can't tell you how gratifying it is 1547 01:04:26,333 --> 01:04:30,538 to be part of a sport as it evolves, despite not playing. 1548 01:04:31,205 --> 01:04:33,071 -Wow. -That's what does it for me. 1549 01:04:33,073 --> 01:04:35,974 The best part, my three daughters, they love it. 1550 01:04:35,976 --> 01:04:38,243 They actually think their dad is cool. 1551 01:04:38,245 --> 01:04:41,179 Hey, how's Tracy? What a beast she was. 1552 01:04:41,181 --> 01:04:42,347 She's good. 1553 01:04:42,349 --> 01:04:44,684 She's, uh, in Salt Lake, doing her thing. 1554 01:04:44,686 --> 01:04:46,451 Oh, yeah. Is she skiing or...? 1555 01:04:46,453 --> 01:04:47,388 Polygamy. 1556 01:04:50,157 --> 01:04:51,923 Oh! 1557 01:04:51,925 --> 01:04:53,626 Yeah, look. It threw us for a loop. Don't get me wrong. 1558 01:04:53,628 --> 01:04:56,196 But... it's all worked out. 1559 01:04:56,397 --> 01:04:59,400 -I-I didn't know you'd split. -Seven years now. 1560 01:05:00,100 --> 01:05:02,000 I have to admit, being single 1561 01:05:02,002 --> 01:05:03,904 in your mid-to-late-forties is, uh... 1562 01:05:04,639 --> 01:05:06,606 What's the word here? Interesting? 1563 01:05:06,608 --> 01:05:07,673 (LAUGHS) 1564 01:05:07,675 --> 01:05:09,441 -Okay? -Is that the word? 1565 01:05:09,443 --> 01:05:10,411 But... 1566 01:05:12,112 --> 01:05:14,312 I'd be lost without coaching. 1567 01:05:14,314 --> 01:05:15,617 It-- It saved me. 1568 01:05:16,984 --> 01:05:18,651 So... All right. Enough about me. 1569 01:05:18,653 --> 01:05:20,285 Alex. How's he doing? 1570 01:05:20,287 --> 01:05:22,187 -Two boys, right? -Two boys. 1571 01:05:22,189 --> 01:05:24,124 -How are they? -They are great. 1572 01:05:24,491 --> 01:05:26,958 Well, adjusting, 'cause, uh, 1573 01:05:26,960 --> 01:05:28,594 Alex and I decided to take a little break. 1574 01:05:28,596 --> 01:05:30,097 Oh, no. 1575 01:05:30,732 --> 01:05:32,466 I'm sorry. I hadn't heard that. 1576 01:05:32,734 --> 01:05:34,468 Yeah. No, it's... 1577 01:05:35,502 --> 01:05:37,438 Wait, it's not a break. 1578 01:05:38,372 --> 01:05:40,307 We split. He moved out. 1579 01:05:41,709 --> 01:05:43,609 -Wow. -Uh, it's over. Yeah. 1580 01:05:43,611 --> 01:05:45,212 Wow. Okay. 1581 01:05:45,680 --> 01:05:46,947 Yeah, it's actually good. 1582 01:05:48,182 --> 01:05:50,248 I gotta admit, I'm shocked. 1583 01:05:50,250 --> 01:05:52,453 You two just seemed like a perfect fit to me. 1584 01:05:53,755 --> 01:05:57,122 Yeah. Me too, but, um... 1585 01:05:57,124 --> 01:05:59,059 (JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS) 1586 01:06:00,528 --> 01:06:01,729 I guess we just... 1587 01:06:04,264 --> 01:06:06,231 ...slowly grew away from each other. 1588 01:06:06,233 --> 01:06:07,367 If that makes any sense. 1589 01:06:08,068 --> 01:06:09,036 I get that. 1590 01:06:10,170 --> 01:06:11,371 Jeez, Tess, I'm... 1591 01:06:12,707 --> 01:06:14,239 I'm glad I reached out. 1592 01:06:14,241 --> 01:06:17,476 (JAZZ CONTINUES) 1593 01:06:17,478 --> 01:06:19,745 (CHATTER CONTINUES) 1594 01:06:19,747 --> 01:06:21,012 Yeah. 1595 01:06:21,014 --> 01:06:23,417 Are you tired? 'Cause I'm not. 1596 01:06:24,117 --> 01:06:25,685 I'm not tired. Absolutely not. 1597 01:06:25,687 --> 01:06:27,052 My buddy says there's a great place 1598 01:06:27,054 --> 01:06:28,453 right around the corner, actually. 1599 01:06:28,455 --> 01:06:31,791 Oh. Amazing. I'm gonna just... 1600 01:06:31,793 --> 01:06:33,160 -Yeah. Okay. -...use the restroom and... 1601 01:06:33,695 --> 01:06:34,629 Be right back. 1602 01:06:42,770 --> 01:06:47,040 (LAUGHS, SIGHS DEEPLY) 1603 01:06:50,244 --> 01:06:51,078 Yeah. 1604 01:06:51,813 --> 01:06:53,513 Fuck it. (SIGHS) 1605 01:06:53,515 --> 01:06:55,681 (CHEERS) 1606 01:06:55,683 --> 01:06:57,184 -All right. Following you. -Okay. 1607 01:06:58,686 --> 01:07:00,252 MAN: Sounds fun. 1608 01:07:00,254 --> 01:07:02,187 FEMALE COMEDIAN: No, I'm not gonna do it, but... 1609 01:07:02,189 --> 01:07:03,455 Absolutely not. 1610 01:07:03,457 --> 01:07:05,158 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 1611 01:07:08,530 --> 01:07:10,095 -They letting you go up tonight? -Yeah. 1612 01:07:10,097 --> 01:07:11,398 We'll see. I'm a little bit late. 1613 01:07:12,567 --> 01:07:14,099 -Fuck. Cutting it close. -Sorry. 1614 01:07:14,101 --> 01:07:15,835 I got held up. I'm sorry. 1615 01:07:15,837 --> 01:07:17,537 (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) 1616 01:07:17,539 --> 01:07:18,738 KEMP: I was starting to think you were bailing on me. 1617 01:07:18,740 --> 01:07:20,305 ALEX: What? No, no, no. No. 1618 01:07:20,307 --> 01:07:21,507 -Whatever, I just-- -You want a drink? 1619 01:07:21,509 --> 01:07:22,742 -No, no, no. I'm good. -Okay. 1620 01:07:22,744 --> 01:07:24,577 Oh, my God, I need a beer. 1621 01:07:24,579 --> 01:07:26,712 (VOCALIZING) 1622 01:07:26,714 --> 01:07:28,213 KEMP: Big night. 1623 01:07:28,215 --> 01:07:29,715 -Big night tonight. -WOMAN: Oh, my God. 1624 01:07:29,717 --> 01:07:31,851 -KEMP: You're gonna kill it. -WOMAN: I know, I know. 1625 01:07:31,853 --> 01:07:33,688 Then we'll see. I'll meet you up here. 1626 01:07:34,454 --> 01:07:35,855 I'll meet you back here when we're done. 1627 01:07:35,857 --> 01:07:39,259 (VOCALIZING CONTINUES) 1628 01:07:42,764 --> 01:07:46,099 ♪ I needed to know where The river came out, come on ♪ 1629 01:07:46,500 --> 01:07:48,500 Uh, Sam Jay has the light. You have two minutes. 1630 01:07:48,502 --> 01:07:49,571 Okay. 1631 01:07:51,138 --> 01:07:52,437 You're gonna be great. 1632 01:07:52,439 --> 01:07:55,710 (SINGING CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY) 1633 01:08:04,351 --> 01:08:07,687 (MUSIC FADES) 1634 01:08:07,689 --> 01:08:10,357 SAM JAY: We can't just fuck and make a kid. We can't do that. 1635 01:08:10,625 --> 01:08:12,157 So it's like, how we gonna do it? 1636 01:08:12,159 --> 01:08:14,125 Someone's gotta go buy nut and I'm not buying nut. 1637 01:08:14,127 --> 01:08:15,493 (LAUGHTER) 1638 01:08:15,495 --> 01:08:16,729 SAM JAY: I'm not. I'm not goin' to the nut store, 1639 01:08:16,731 --> 01:08:17,897 ask nobody for no nut. 1640 01:08:17,899 --> 01:08:19,464 And she got upset when I told her that. 1641 01:08:19,466 --> 01:08:21,266 She's, like, "You're an asshole. 1642 01:08:21,268 --> 01:08:23,536 We don't just have to buy a nut. We can just adopt." 1643 01:08:23,538 --> 01:08:25,136 I'm like, "All right." Now we're going to the baby store 1644 01:08:25,138 --> 01:08:27,372 -and buying a whole one, so... -(LAUGHTER) 1645 01:08:27,374 --> 01:08:29,441 Hey, my name's been Sam Jay. Thank you so much. 1646 01:08:29,443 --> 01:08:32,245 (CROWD CHEERS) 1647 01:08:32,847 --> 01:08:34,682 HOST: Yeah! 1648 01:08:36,183 --> 01:08:37,583 You guys, give it up for Sam Jay! 1649 01:08:37,585 --> 01:08:39,252 MAN: I hope there's somebody else. 1650 01:08:39,621 --> 01:08:41,689 -MAN: She was great. -TESS: She was great. 1651 01:08:42,857 --> 01:08:44,389 -This is so fun. -It's cool, right? 1652 01:08:44,391 --> 01:08:45,758 Love it. 1653 01:08:45,760 --> 01:08:46,291 HOST: Next comedian coming to the stage... 1654 01:08:46,293 --> 01:08:47,627 I'm glad we're here. 1655 01:08:47,629 --> 01:08:49,160 HOST: ...first time on this show. 1656 01:08:49,162 --> 01:08:51,296 Yeah, so I need you guys to give him a lot of energy. 1657 01:08:51,298 --> 01:08:52,832 Start clapping, make a lot of noise... 1658 01:08:52,834 --> 01:08:54,265 MAN: All right. Somebody else coming. 1659 01:08:54,267 --> 01:08:56,738 ...and give it up for Alex Novak! 1660 01:08:57,939 --> 01:09:00,338 (CHEERS, APPLAUSE) 1661 01:09:00,340 --> 01:09:01,574 ALEX: How you doing? 1662 01:09:01,576 --> 01:09:03,709 (APPLAUSE CONTINUES) 1663 01:09:03,711 --> 01:09:06,512 Oh! How you guys doing tonight? 1664 01:09:06,514 --> 01:09:08,547 Yeah! Give it up for our host. 1665 01:09:08,549 --> 01:09:10,150 -Wait. -ALEX: He's doing great, huh? 1666 01:09:10,484 --> 01:09:12,518 What the fuck is happening? 1667 01:09:12,520 --> 01:09:13,786 ALEX: Give it up for me. I'm doing great! 1668 01:09:13,788 --> 01:09:15,721 MAN: I can promise you, I did not know... 1669 01:09:15,723 --> 01:09:16,922 I don't-- 1670 01:09:16,924 --> 01:09:17,757 ALEX: My personal life's in the shitter... 1671 01:09:17,759 --> 01:09:19,326 -Does he do--? -No! 1672 01:09:19,661 --> 01:09:21,927 Yeah, I mean, I'm paying rent on a shitty apartment 1673 01:09:21,929 --> 01:09:24,830 and mortgage on a house I don't live in anymore. 1674 01:09:24,832 --> 01:09:27,332 You know? It's fine. And one of my teeth hurts. 1675 01:09:27,334 --> 01:09:29,702 And I don't even know where my dentist is. 1676 01:09:29,704 --> 01:09:31,671 My ex used to handle all that. 1677 01:09:31,673 --> 01:09:34,274 But other than that, you know... Hey... 1678 01:09:35,208 --> 01:09:37,208 -I had sex with a woman. -(CHEERS, APPLAUSE) 1679 01:09:37,210 --> 01:09:39,512 Yeah, so like I said, I'm doing great. 1680 01:09:39,514 --> 01:09:41,379 (CHEERS, APPLAUSE) 1681 01:09:41,381 --> 01:09:42,615 ALEX: Yeah. 1682 01:09:42,617 --> 01:09:44,349 (APPLAUSE) 1683 01:09:44,351 --> 01:09:47,421 I never thought I'd get applause for having sex with a woman. 1684 01:09:47,889 --> 01:09:50,488 -Like, "You finally did it!" -(LAUGHTER) 1685 01:09:50,490 --> 01:09:51,726 ALEX: (CHUCKLING) Yeah! 1686 01:09:52,894 --> 01:09:56,564 Uh, yeah. No, I had sex with a... with a woman, um... 1687 01:09:57,297 --> 01:09:59,732 after, you know, being married for a number of years. 1688 01:09:59,734 --> 01:10:01,669 And... and it was... 1689 01:10:02,670 --> 01:10:03,969 -...scary. -(LAUGHTER) 1690 01:10:03,971 --> 01:10:05,437 Yeah. 1691 01:10:05,439 --> 01:10:07,873 But at least I was not very good at it. 1692 01:10:07,875 --> 01:10:09,909 (LAUGHTER) 1693 01:10:09,911 --> 01:10:13,813 I think that after-- I think after 20 years of marriage, 1694 01:10:13,815 --> 01:10:17,449 you know, you just get used to doing things a certain way. 1695 01:10:17,451 --> 01:10:19,451 You know what I mean? Like, sex with your wi-- 1696 01:10:19,453 --> 01:10:21,386 It's-- It's fine. It was great with my-- 1697 01:10:21,388 --> 01:10:23,823 It's like, you know when you go to an Airbnb, 1698 01:10:23,825 --> 01:10:27,459 and you go into the kitchen, and it kind of looks the same, like, 1699 01:10:27,461 --> 01:10:29,494 but it's just a little bit different? 1700 01:10:29,496 --> 01:10:32,363 Like, certain spoons are in different drawers? 1701 01:10:32,365 --> 01:10:33,833 So you're kind of looking around, 1702 01:10:33,835 --> 01:10:35,568 you're opening stuff up, and you're like-- 1703 01:10:35,570 --> 01:10:37,536 And I was doing that on a human body. 1704 01:10:37,538 --> 01:10:38,938 (LAUGHTER) 1705 01:10:38,940 --> 01:10:41,841 I don't know, I feel like sex now has really changed 1706 01:10:41,843 --> 01:10:45,978 since back when I was out there in the game 20-- 1707 01:10:45,980 --> 01:10:48,013 I never cheated on my wife, so this is the first-- 1708 01:10:48,015 --> 01:10:49,749 And it feels like now... 1709 01:10:49,751 --> 01:10:50,850 Are you sure you don't want to leave? 1710 01:10:50,852 --> 01:10:51,851 ALEX: ...there are so many noises 1711 01:10:51,853 --> 01:10:53,451 -that she was making. -No. 1712 01:10:53,453 --> 01:10:54,452 -ALEX: ...so animalistic. -I don't want to go anywhere. 1713 01:10:54,454 --> 01:10:56,488 ALEX: And it just felt like two apes fucking. 1714 01:10:56,490 --> 01:10:58,624 Obviously, apes do not make love, right? 1715 01:10:58,626 --> 01:11:00,760 Nobody imagines that apes are like this, 1716 01:11:00,762 --> 01:11:02,561 staring in each other's eyes, saying, 1717 01:11:02,563 --> 01:11:05,698 "I love you. And let's come at the same time." 1718 01:11:05,700 --> 01:11:07,600 Apes don't do that shit. 1719 01:11:07,602 --> 01:11:10,770 Apes are doing it, fucking, you know, dog-style. 1720 01:11:10,772 --> 01:11:13,371 Or ape-style. Whatever the fuck it is. 1721 01:11:13,373 --> 01:11:15,908 -(LAUGHTER) -I don't know. 1722 01:11:15,910 --> 01:11:17,777 I gotta tell you, the whole experience, 1723 01:11:17,779 --> 01:11:19,678 to be honest, made me miss my wife. 1724 01:11:19,680 --> 01:11:21,448 -(AUDIENCE AWWS) -It really did. Yeah. 1725 01:11:21,849 --> 01:11:25,553 Which was, um, surprising because... 1726 01:11:26,453 --> 01:11:27,720 we had a lot of fights. 1727 01:11:27,722 --> 01:11:30,290 Listen... And, um... 1728 01:11:30,758 --> 01:11:33,761 And I actually kind of ended up missing some of our fights, too. 1729 01:11:34,562 --> 01:11:36,864 Yeah, they were... Our fights were... 1730 01:11:37,064 --> 01:11:38,331 Uh... 1731 01:11:38,800 --> 01:11:40,833 -...psychological? -(LAUGHTER) 1732 01:11:40,835 --> 01:11:42,537 Do you know what I mean? Do you know what I mean by that? 1733 01:11:43,838 --> 01:11:46,539 -All the dudes know what I mean. -(LAUGHTER) 1734 01:11:46,541 --> 01:11:48,373 They're like, "Yeah. Every interaction 1735 01:11:48,375 --> 01:11:50,778 is a fucking psychological minefield." 1736 01:11:51,612 --> 01:11:53,478 You know when your wife or your partner 1737 01:11:53,480 --> 01:11:55,346 gets really, really quiet, 1738 01:11:55,348 --> 01:11:57,852 and now you gotta guess what's wrong? 1739 01:11:58,119 --> 01:12:02,087 So, you have to ask a blanket, like, question. 1740 01:12:02,089 --> 01:12:03,722 Keep it really gener-- 1741 01:12:03,724 --> 01:12:06,926 I remember one time, my ex-wife and I were driving, 1742 01:12:06,928 --> 01:12:08,461 coming home from a friend's place. 1743 01:12:09,429 --> 01:12:11,833 And she is so quiet. 1744 01:12:12,834 --> 01:12:14,667 She's so quiet, like... 1745 01:12:14,669 --> 01:12:16,401 Do you remember Jacob's Ladder? 1746 01:12:16,403 --> 01:12:17,503 (LAUGHTER) 1747 01:12:17,505 --> 01:12:19,138 It was like that. Right? 1748 01:12:19,140 --> 01:12:21,740 I'm sort of dating myself a little bit, but it was... 1749 01:12:21,742 --> 01:12:24,810 It was like I was questioning my own existence on the planet, 1750 01:12:24,812 --> 01:12:25,945 it was so quiet. 1751 01:12:25,947 --> 01:12:28,413 Just the two of us, in the car, 1752 01:12:28,415 --> 01:12:31,986 and I'm so scared of what she's gonna say. 1753 01:12:32,687 --> 01:12:34,653 So I just go... (SIGHS) 1754 01:12:34,655 --> 01:12:35,957 I muster up the courage. 1755 01:12:38,125 --> 01:12:39,692 "Honey, are you mad at me?" 1756 01:12:39,694 --> 01:12:41,629 (LAUGHTER) 1757 01:12:42,029 --> 01:12:43,662 And she looks at me and she goes, 1758 01:12:43,664 --> 01:12:47,933 "You know, sometimes I just wish that you'd talk to me 1759 01:12:47,935 --> 01:12:50,035 the same way that you talk to your friends." 1760 01:12:50,037 --> 01:12:51,770 (AUDIENCE AWWS) 1761 01:12:51,772 --> 01:12:53,074 And I go, "Okay." 1762 01:12:56,611 --> 01:12:58,611 "Dude, my wife is driving me crazy." 1763 01:12:58,613 --> 01:13:00,548 -(LAUGHS) -(LAUGHTER) 1764 01:13:01,716 --> 01:13:03,182 Awesome. You guys have been so great. 1765 01:13:03,184 --> 01:13:05,517 Thanks so much. I've been Alex Novak. 1766 01:13:05,519 --> 01:13:06,886 All right, guys, thanks so much. Good night. 1767 01:13:06,888 --> 01:13:08,120 Let's go. 1768 01:13:08,122 --> 01:13:09,991 -(CHEERS, APPLAUSE) -(CHAIR SCRAPES) 1769 01:13:11,859 --> 01:13:14,693 HOST: You guys, give it up for Alex Novak! 1770 01:13:14,695 --> 01:13:17,096 Oh, my God! Alex, that was fantastic! 1771 01:13:17,098 --> 01:13:18,898 Yes! You were so good! 1772 01:13:18,900 --> 01:13:20,165 Hey, can I get some water, please? 1773 01:13:20,167 --> 01:13:21,800 HOST: Absolutely, man. Yeah. 1774 01:13:21,802 --> 01:13:23,636 -NINA: Yeah. -TESS: This is Laird. Sorry. 1775 01:13:23,638 --> 01:13:25,436 I'm Nina. Nice to meet you. Good to see you. 1776 01:13:25,438 --> 01:13:26,839 TESS: Good to-- Yeah, we're gonna... 1777 01:13:26,841 --> 01:13:28,709 NINA: Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I get it. 1778 01:13:29,043 --> 01:13:30,643 -TESS: It's a lot. -NINA: All right. 1779 01:13:30,645 --> 01:13:31,810 You guys ready for this next comedian? Say, "Hell yeah." 1780 01:13:31,812 --> 01:13:33,746 (AUDIENCE SHOUTING) Hell yeah! 1781 01:13:33,748 --> 01:13:35,114 Start clapping right now. 1782 01:13:35,116 --> 01:13:40,119 Give it up right now for the legend, Mr. Dave Attell! 1783 01:13:40,121 --> 01:13:43,022 (CHEERS, APPLAUSE) 1784 01:13:43,024 --> 01:13:44,990 Wow! What a night! 1785 01:13:44,992 --> 01:13:47,092 -ALEX: Hey! How was it? -NINA: It was so good. 1786 01:13:47,094 --> 01:13:48,727 -Was it good? -I'm so proud of you. 1787 01:13:48,729 --> 01:13:50,495 -I just opened for Dave Attell! -You ballsy motherfucker. 1788 01:13:50,497 --> 01:13:52,531 Yeah, you just did that set in front of your wife. 1789 01:13:52,533 --> 01:13:54,066 -I respect that. -What are you mean? 1790 01:13:54,068 --> 01:13:55,567 Tess is here with Laird. The tall-- 1791 01:13:55,569 --> 01:13:56,969 What do you mean, Tess? Tess is here now? 1792 01:13:56,971 --> 01:13:58,103 What are you talking about? Where? 1793 01:13:58,105 --> 01:13:58,671 Yeah, just saw them. They went outside. 1794 01:13:58,673 --> 01:13:59,972 Did you not invite them? 1795 01:13:59,974 --> 01:14:00,773 No, I didn't fucking invite them! 1796 01:14:00,775 --> 01:14:02,074 Jesus Christ. 1797 01:14:02,076 --> 01:14:04,812 -(SIRENS WAILING) -(PEOPLE LAUGHING) 1798 01:14:05,478 --> 01:14:07,980 -COMIC: Holy shit. Okay. -BOUNCER: 'Cause I said so. 1799 01:14:07,982 --> 01:14:10,683 -Take it easy there, bruh. -TESS: Whoa! 1800 01:14:10,685 --> 01:14:12,586 -What? -You found a sitter? 1801 01:14:12,787 --> 01:14:14,787 No, I got them working at the falafel place right here. 1802 01:14:14,789 --> 01:14:15,988 They're at your folks' place? 1803 01:14:15,990 --> 01:14:16,857 Yeah. 1804 01:14:18,125 --> 01:14:20,491 -What the fuck are you--? -What the fuck? 1805 01:14:20,493 --> 01:14:21,961 What the fuck, me? What the fuck are--? 1806 01:14:21,963 --> 01:14:23,629 You've been moving on, huh? 1807 01:14:23,631 --> 01:14:25,931 Me, moving on? You show up with fucking Laird? 1808 01:14:25,933 --> 01:14:27,232 Who I just said goodbye to. 1809 01:14:27,234 --> 01:14:28,200 Okay, but Laird, of all fucking people. 1810 01:14:28,202 --> 01:14:29,234 What the fuck do you care? 1811 01:14:29,236 --> 01:14:30,035 How long have you been fucking him? 1812 01:14:30,037 --> 01:14:31,003 For years. 1813 01:14:31,005 --> 01:14:32,106 -No. -No. 1814 01:14:32,506 --> 01:14:34,008 Oh, fuck. 1815 01:14:34,675 --> 01:14:36,241 How long you been doing... 1816 01:14:36,243 --> 01:14:37,843 -stand-up comedy? -No, I only did that one time. 1817 01:14:37,845 --> 01:14:39,680 -Jesus Christ. -Oh. 1818 01:14:40,014 --> 01:14:41,481 -Mmm. -(FLICKING LIGHTER) 1819 01:14:41,882 --> 01:14:43,184 (WOMAN SHRIEKS, GIGGLES) 1820 01:14:44,518 --> 01:14:45,519 Sorry, I thought you... 1821 01:14:46,887 --> 01:14:48,589 Yeah, stand-up I've been doing for a while. 1822 01:14:51,058 --> 01:14:52,825 So I'm the only one who doesn't know you do this? 1823 01:14:52,827 --> 01:14:54,261 Actually, tonight was kind of a big night. 1824 01:14:55,930 --> 01:14:58,766 I mean, it's obviously bigger now that... 1825 01:15:00,568 --> 01:15:02,267 I usually only do open mic nights, 1826 01:15:02,269 --> 01:15:03,671 and they're, like, half the crowd, and... 1827 01:15:04,905 --> 01:15:06,071 I don't know why I never told you. 1828 01:15:06,073 --> 01:15:07,673 I haven't even really told myself 1829 01:15:07,675 --> 01:15:08,843 that it's becoming a thing, you know? 1830 01:15:11,679 --> 01:15:12,813 It's hot. 1831 01:15:14,215 --> 01:15:15,116 Really? 1832 01:15:17,651 --> 01:15:18,886 Give me a drag. 1833 01:15:24,692 --> 01:15:26,227 (TESS EXHALES) 1834 01:15:29,063 --> 01:15:30,865 (ALEX, TESS PANTING) 1835 01:15:32,099 --> 01:15:33,701 TESS: Mmm. 1836 01:15:37,004 --> 01:15:38,771 ALEX: (GRUFFLY) Hey, will you pass me my smokes? 1837 01:15:38,773 --> 01:15:39,671 I think they're on the table there. 1838 01:15:39,673 --> 01:15:41,240 (TESS MOANS) 1839 01:15:41,242 --> 01:15:43,175 ALEX: If you hit the light. The button's right on the... 1840 01:15:43,177 --> 01:15:44,578 You got it. 1841 01:15:45,112 --> 01:15:46,612 I think the lighter's there too, right? 1842 01:15:46,614 --> 01:15:47,548 TESS: Yeah. 1843 01:15:47,715 --> 01:15:48,616 Thanks. 1844 01:15:49,283 --> 01:15:51,252 (BOTH PANTING) 1845 01:15:56,090 --> 01:15:57,792 (CHUCKLES) What's with all the smoking? 1846 01:15:59,126 --> 01:16:01,193 I feel like we're in our twenties again. 1847 01:16:01,195 --> 01:16:03,097 -(LIGHTER CLICKING) -Mmm. 1848 01:16:04,665 --> 01:16:05,800 Mmm. 1849 01:16:09,837 --> 01:16:11,737 I'm just, you know... 1850 01:16:11,739 --> 01:16:13,972 -allowing myself the grace to... -(CHUCKLES) 1851 01:16:13,974 --> 01:16:16,243 -Marilyn? -(LAUGHS) Yeah. 1852 01:16:18,813 --> 01:16:20,848 (LAUGHING) Let's talk about Marilyn. 1853 01:16:22,016 --> 01:16:23,584 (EXHALING CHUCKLE) Sorry. 1854 01:16:24,718 --> 01:16:26,852 (BOTH CHUCKLING) 1855 01:16:26,854 --> 01:16:30,825 What the absolute fuck? (LAUGHS) 1856 01:16:31,926 --> 01:16:33,792 Oh, my God. 1857 01:16:33,794 --> 01:16:36,097 Look, I think we're just gracing the shit out of each other. 1858 01:16:36,664 --> 01:16:38,365 Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry... 1859 01:16:39,133 --> 01:16:40,699 Sorry. 1860 01:16:40,701 --> 01:16:43,068 I promise I won't bring my mom up again. 1861 01:16:43,070 --> 01:16:44,803 (SCOFFING) 1862 01:16:44,805 --> 01:16:47,174 No, it's hot. No. (CHORTLES) 1863 01:16:50,845 --> 01:16:51,779 TESS: Oh. 1864 01:16:52,880 --> 01:16:54,048 Hey. 1865 01:16:55,049 --> 01:16:56,917 (SIGHS) 1866 01:16:57,918 --> 01:16:59,785 What about the boys? 1867 01:16:59,787 --> 01:17:01,355 Like, we can't tell anybody. 1868 01:17:03,157 --> 01:17:04,992 -No. No, of course. -Right? 1869 01:17:05,359 --> 01:17:06,994 We can't confuse them. 1870 01:17:07,928 --> 01:17:10,965 'Cause, I mean, yeah. This is confusing. 1871 01:17:11,999 --> 01:17:13,265 Yeah. No. 1872 01:17:13,267 --> 01:17:15,269 Of course. Yeah, it is. It is confusing. 1873 01:17:18,372 --> 01:17:19,773 I'm sleeping over. 1874 01:17:20,975 --> 01:17:22,710 -Okay. Yeah. -Yeah. 1875 01:17:23,177 --> 01:17:25,310 Uh, there's, like, boxers and T-shirts 1876 01:17:25,312 --> 01:17:26,778 in that top drawer there. 1877 01:17:26,780 --> 01:17:27,948 -Here? -Yeah. 1878 01:17:28,949 --> 01:17:30,716 (GASPS) I feel shaky. 1879 01:17:30,718 --> 01:17:32,019 (CHUCKLES) 1880 01:17:32,253 --> 01:17:33,252 TESS: Fuck. 1881 01:17:33,254 --> 01:17:34,855 (ALEX CHUCKLES) 1882 01:17:43,764 --> 01:17:45,866 TESS: I can't believe you fucked somebody! 1883 01:17:56,177 --> 01:17:58,345 (PANTING) Oh, my God. 1884 01:18:00,814 --> 01:18:04,116 Did you fuck her right here? In front of our armoire? 1885 01:18:04,118 --> 01:18:07,254 Come on. I never would have done it in front of our armoire. 1886 01:18:08,088 --> 01:18:10,289 Do-- Do you know how sick and twisted that'd be 1887 01:18:10,291 --> 01:18:12,224 if I did it in front of the armoire? 1888 01:18:12,226 --> 01:18:14,695 -(GIGGLES) -(ALEX CHUCKLES) 1889 01:18:17,765 --> 01:18:19,831 (BOTH PANTING) 1890 01:18:19,833 --> 01:18:21,433 That was fucking insane. 1891 01:18:21,435 --> 01:18:23,070 That was fucking insane. 1892 01:18:24,205 --> 01:18:25,206 Mmm. 1893 01:18:27,741 --> 01:18:29,109 You kept looking at me. 1894 01:18:31,378 --> 01:18:32,813 I always do. 1895 01:18:34,381 --> 01:18:36,450 Have you upped your parenting since we split? 1896 01:18:37,318 --> 01:18:39,053 Out of necessity. 1897 01:18:39,353 --> 01:18:41,455 Well, yeah, that. But, I mean, like... 1898 01:18:42,823 --> 01:18:44,124 Do you find that you'll, like... 1899 01:18:45,759 --> 01:18:47,094 Do you find that you'll, like... 1900 01:18:48,796 --> 01:18:50,097 I don't know. You'll-- You'll... 1901 01:18:50,798 --> 01:18:53,365 get off your phone if the boys are around, 1902 01:18:53,367 --> 01:18:58,005 thinking that maybe they'll see you on it less than me? 1903 01:18:59,106 --> 01:19:00,939 Just, like, you know-- 1904 01:19:00,941 --> 01:19:03,108 being more attentive to be better than me? 1905 01:19:03,110 --> 01:19:06,780 To, like... to beat me at parenting? 1906 01:19:07,214 --> 01:19:08,916 Yeah. But I always do that. 1907 01:19:10,217 --> 01:19:12,117 Yeah, but, I mean, isn't that ridiculous? 1908 01:19:12,119 --> 01:19:13,220 Yeah. 1909 01:19:13,454 --> 01:19:14,955 But I always want to win. 1910 01:19:16,156 --> 01:19:18,926 Yeah, of course. (CHUCKLES) 1911 01:19:22,263 --> 01:19:23,931 (EXHALES) 1912 01:19:25,899 --> 01:19:26,800 (WHISPERS) Fuck. 1913 01:19:29,470 --> 01:19:30,969 ALEX: Yeah. I knew you'd say that. 1914 01:19:30,971 --> 01:19:32,204 (LAUGHTER) 1915 01:19:32,206 --> 01:19:34,441 Unbelievable. The passive aggressive. 1916 01:19:35,476 --> 01:19:38,210 My mom said that she didn't want to, uh, 1917 01:19:38,212 --> 01:19:40,981 meddle in-in my marriage. 1918 01:19:42,416 --> 01:19:44,351 Which is exactly what meddlers say... 1919 01:19:45,520 --> 01:19:47,221 before they meddle in your marriage. 1920 01:19:48,489 --> 01:19:51,058 Uh... My kids, um... 1921 01:19:52,259 --> 01:19:54,159 My kids though, I know... (SIGHS) 1922 01:19:54,161 --> 01:19:57,162 They'd probably be happy to know that we're together. You know? 1923 01:19:57,164 --> 01:19:58,897 I mean, I think this would make them... 1924 01:19:58,899 --> 01:20:00,999 But we cannot tell 'em. 1925 01:20:01,001 --> 01:20:05,239 Because what if the wheels come off this particular bus? 1926 01:20:07,074 --> 01:20:08,375 That's what I'm worried about. 1927 01:20:09,376 --> 01:20:14,281 But until then, I'm just enjoying this wild ride... 1928 01:20:15,482 --> 01:20:16,283 of... 1929 01:20:19,153 --> 01:20:22,489 ...having an affair with my ex-wife. 1930 01:20:23,223 --> 01:20:24,423 (APPLAUSE) 1931 01:20:24,425 --> 01:20:26,058 Hey, man, just came down on my break. 1932 01:20:26,060 --> 01:20:28,262 I wanted to watch your act. It's good. Getting better. 1933 01:20:28,495 --> 01:20:30,462 -EMCEE: Come on. One more time! -Thanks, man. 1934 01:20:30,464 --> 01:20:31,396 Excuse me. 1935 01:20:31,398 --> 01:20:33,432 Well, well, well. 1936 01:20:33,434 --> 01:20:36,270 I heard you crushed the other night with some new material. 1937 01:20:38,005 --> 01:20:39,104 You smoked my weed and you owe me money. 1938 01:20:39,106 --> 01:20:41,306 EMCEE: Just gonna go out on a limb and say I think-- 1939 01:20:41,308 --> 01:20:42,941 Novak, let me get it straight. 1940 01:20:42,943 --> 01:20:46,144 So, your main is your side and your side is the main. 1941 01:20:46,146 --> 01:20:47,179 COMIC 2: The new main. 1942 01:20:47,181 --> 01:20:48,213 -The new main. -ALEX: Yeah. 1943 01:20:48,215 --> 01:20:49,414 That's like going to Popeyes 1944 01:20:49,416 --> 01:20:50,550 and gettin' chicken and chicken on the side. 1945 01:20:50,552 --> 01:20:52,986 "Let me get wings with a side of wings." 1946 01:20:53,220 --> 01:20:55,487 My grandma used to say gettin' back with a ex 1947 01:20:55,489 --> 01:20:57,523 is like taking a shit and trying to put it back in your asshole. 1948 01:20:57,525 --> 01:20:58,990 (CACKLES) 1949 01:20:58,992 --> 01:21:00,593 -Fuck you guys. -COMIC 1: Just let go! 1950 01:21:00,595 --> 01:21:01,893 COMIC 2: Fuck you too, Novak! 1951 01:21:01,895 --> 01:21:03,330 COMIC 1: Hey, love you, young Novak. 1952 01:21:03,631 --> 01:21:05,030 (WOMEN SHOUTING) 1953 01:21:05,032 --> 01:21:07,099 Yeah. Here we go! Ready? Cover, cover! 1954 01:21:07,101 --> 01:21:09,101 -(TESS GRUNTS) -Wait, you aced five. 1955 01:21:09,103 --> 01:21:11,169 I mean, she could not pass the float serve. 1956 01:21:11,171 --> 01:21:12,572 And our hitter was on fire, too. 1957 01:21:12,574 --> 01:21:14,308 Well, you had that great last swing. 1958 01:21:22,584 --> 01:21:23,984 You're nuts! 1959 01:21:27,154 --> 01:21:28,656 -(GIGGLES) What are you doing? -What? 1960 01:21:31,125 --> 01:21:33,959 You drove all this way from the city just to drive me home? 1961 01:21:33,961 --> 01:21:35,663 It's a 47-minute drive. It's not a big deal. 1962 01:21:39,299 --> 01:21:40,401 This is scary. 1963 01:21:41,301 --> 01:21:42,970 But fuck, it's fun. 1964 01:21:43,538 --> 01:21:44,604 (SIGHS) 1965 01:21:44,606 --> 01:21:45,540 ALEX: Yeah. 1966 01:21:49,577 --> 01:21:50,710 -FELIX: Is that Mom? -JUDE: Is that Mom? 1967 01:21:50,712 --> 01:21:52,645 -ALEX: Yeah. -FELIX: Whoa! That's cool. 1968 01:21:52,647 --> 01:21:53,646 ALEX: What do you think? 1969 01:21:53,648 --> 01:21:54,680 JUDE: Pretty cool. 1970 01:21:54,682 --> 01:21:55,617 FELIX: That's really cool, yeah. 1971 01:21:59,353 --> 01:22:00,553 FELIX: Is that when she was in the Olympics? 1972 01:22:00,555 --> 01:22:03,157 ALEX: Yeah. What do you think? It's pretty awesome right? 1973 01:22:03,525 --> 01:22:04,358 -JUDE: Yeah. -FELIX: Hi, Mom. 1974 01:22:06,594 --> 01:22:10,297 (BIRDS CAWING) 1975 01:22:12,499 --> 01:22:14,199 (SIGHS) 1976 01:22:14,201 --> 01:22:18,640 (TRAIN CROSSING BELL RINGING) 1977 01:22:24,378 --> 01:22:25,713 Oh, shit. 1978 01:22:27,214 --> 01:22:28,380 Shit. 1979 01:22:28,382 --> 01:22:30,550 (BRAKES SQUEAL) 1980 01:22:30,552 --> 01:22:32,685 STEPHEN: Just like every year. There he is. 1981 01:22:32,687 --> 01:22:35,721 -(GASPS) -GROUP: Oh! (LAUGHS) 1982 01:22:35,723 --> 01:22:38,023 I thought you guys didn't make it. 1983 01:22:38,025 --> 01:22:39,559 I was looking at all the-- 1984 01:22:39,561 --> 01:22:41,594 -Hey, buddy. -Hey, hey, hey! 1985 01:22:41,596 --> 01:22:45,263 Somebody actually fell asleep on my shoulder while I was there. 1986 01:22:45,265 --> 01:22:46,732 -Hey. -Hey. Can I give you a hand? 1987 01:22:46,734 --> 01:22:48,233 No, man, I got these. They're light. 1988 01:22:48,235 --> 01:22:49,569 BALLS: How are you? 1989 01:22:49,571 --> 01:22:51,002 -I'm good. How are you doing? -BALLS: Great. 1990 01:22:51,004 --> 01:22:52,672 (BELL RINGING) 1991 01:22:52,674 --> 01:22:55,073 -You like my 'stache? -Yeah. What's with the look? 1992 01:22:55,075 --> 01:22:56,676 The look? I've got a... 1993 01:22:56,678 --> 01:22:59,612 I got a fourth callback of a ranch hand 1994 01:22:59,614 --> 01:23:01,279 in a western TV series. 1995 01:23:01,281 --> 01:23:02,548 -STEPHEN: What? No! -ALEX: Good. 1996 01:23:02,550 --> 01:23:03,783 -BALLS: Yeah. -ALEX: It's a strong 'stache. 1997 01:23:03,785 --> 01:23:05,785 -Yeah, yeah. I'm just grateful. -TESS: Nice. 1998 01:23:05,787 --> 01:23:07,185 -BALLS: Here. -ALEX: Thanks, man. 1999 01:23:07,187 --> 01:23:08,188 STEPHEN: Shotgun! 2000 01:23:10,491 --> 01:23:12,023 BALLS: Yeah, I know where it is. 2001 01:23:12,025 --> 01:23:14,192 -STEPHEN: Yeah. Yeah. -GEOFFREY: Jesus. Wow. 2002 01:23:14,194 --> 01:23:15,595 BALLS: I'm just excited. What do you want me to say? 2003 01:23:15,597 --> 01:23:16,461 -GEOFFREY: Yeah, all right. -STEPHEN: Wow, thrilling. 2004 01:23:16,463 --> 01:23:18,398 -BALLS: What do you know? -(LAUGHTER) 2005 01:23:19,132 --> 01:23:20,067 Jesus. 2006 01:23:20,802 --> 01:23:23,636 (GULLS CALL) 2007 01:23:23,638 --> 01:23:24,471 GEOFFREY: Where's she at? 2008 01:23:25,807 --> 01:23:27,573 CHRISTINE: Hey! Welcome to Oyster Bay! 2009 01:23:27,575 --> 01:23:29,341 -MEN: Hey! -CHRISTINE: Whoo! 2010 01:23:29,343 --> 01:23:30,743 (TESS LAUGHS) 2011 01:23:30,745 --> 01:23:32,143 CHRISTINE: My God. 2012 01:23:32,145 --> 01:23:33,211 I can't believe it's been a year already. 2013 01:23:33,213 --> 01:23:34,446 -STEPHEN: I know. -BALLS: Did that Hopkins thing. 2014 01:23:34,448 --> 01:23:36,147 -TESS: You've been working hard. -BALLS: Learn it 250 times. 2015 01:23:36,149 --> 01:23:37,650 You're in the attic, of course. 2016 01:23:37,652 --> 01:23:39,150 -TESS: Great. -I'm so happy to be back here. 2017 01:23:39,152 --> 01:23:41,119 Geoffrey, Stephen, you guys are in the primary. 2018 01:23:41,121 --> 01:23:42,655 Game night tonight still? 2019 01:23:42,657 --> 01:23:44,122 -Are we still doing that? -Yeah. 2020 01:23:44,124 --> 01:23:45,591 -For sure. -STEPHEN: What are we playing? 2021 01:23:45,593 --> 01:23:47,225 TESS: Alex, you want something to drink? 2022 01:23:47,227 --> 01:23:48,696 -Yeah, yeah, yeah. -Same thing we play every year. 2023 01:23:49,329 --> 01:23:51,263 -STEPHEN: Why don't we play... -CHRISTINE: Same thing we... 2024 01:23:51,265 --> 01:23:52,430 Why don't we do Bananagrams? 2025 01:23:52,432 --> 01:23:53,599 -BALLS: I got all the-- -ALEX: What? 2026 01:23:53,601 --> 01:23:54,634 -BALLS: What did you say? -CHRISTINE: Are you unhappy wi-- 2027 01:23:54,636 --> 01:23:56,468 Whoa, whoa, whoa. We know what game we're playing. 2028 01:23:56,470 --> 01:23:58,236 (ALL CHUCKLE) 2029 01:23:58,238 --> 01:23:59,471 STEPHEN: I'm just saying, why don't we start with Bananagrams? 2030 01:23:59,473 --> 01:24:00,673 No! 2031 01:24:00,675 --> 01:24:02,073 CHRISTINE: Why would we change it? 2032 01:24:02,075 --> 01:24:03,174 (STAMMERING) What are you talking about? 2033 01:24:03,176 --> 01:24:04,577 It's the best game in the-- It's why we come here. 2034 01:24:04,579 --> 01:24:05,545 STEPHEN: Okay. 2035 01:24:05,547 --> 01:24:06,648 (WHISPERS) Hey, hey, hey... 2036 01:24:08,181 --> 01:24:09,247 (DISTANT CHATTER) 2037 01:24:09,249 --> 01:24:10,718 (QUIET LAUGHTER) 2038 01:24:13,220 --> 01:24:17,289 (PANTING) 2039 01:24:17,291 --> 01:24:18,826 Hey guys, wait, don't start without me. 2040 01:24:23,430 --> 01:24:25,096 (KNOCKS) Come on, y'all. 2041 01:24:25,098 --> 01:24:26,732 None of this fighting shit. Come on. 2042 01:24:26,734 --> 01:24:28,634 Fun weekend. Let's go. Come on, honey. 2043 01:24:28,636 --> 01:24:29,835 -Yeah. -Okay. 2044 01:24:29,837 --> 01:24:31,436 -Remember what I said. -I know. 2045 01:24:31,438 --> 01:24:33,138 -Jesus. -Did they start without us? 2046 01:24:33,140 --> 01:24:34,807 -No. I told them not to. -TESS: Okay. 2047 01:24:34,809 --> 01:24:36,441 -Yeah, so, it's our time to ask. -STEPHEN: All right. 2048 01:24:36,443 --> 01:24:37,510 Obviously I meant... 2049 01:24:37,512 --> 01:24:38,678 Are you sure? Okay. 2050 01:24:38,680 --> 01:24:40,211 STEPHEN: Look, I have four left. 2051 01:24:40,213 --> 01:24:41,514 Well, you think. 2052 01:24:41,516 --> 01:24:42,750 Wait, wait. I can't see. I can't see. 2053 01:24:43,350 --> 01:24:45,585 BALLS: I-- Ho-- Whoa, whoa, whoa. 2054 01:24:45,587 --> 01:24:47,553 -CHRISTINE: Mm-mmm. -Hold on. 2055 01:24:47,555 --> 01:24:48,821 God, I'd love to know what this process is. 2056 01:24:48,823 --> 01:24:51,557 Second floor-- I know! Gosh! 2057 01:24:51,559 --> 01:24:53,659 I know. What? 2058 01:24:53,661 --> 01:24:56,194 -Does this person-- -Guys, we gotta get serious now. 2059 01:24:56,196 --> 01:24:58,296 Does your person hold on to library books 2060 01:24:58,298 --> 01:24:59,331 past their due date? 2061 01:24:59,333 --> 01:25:00,700 Yes! 2062 01:25:00,702 --> 01:25:02,400 -CHRISTINE: That's a good one! -ALEX: Yes, yes. 2063 01:25:02,402 --> 01:25:03,468 -CHRISTINE: No, no, no. No. -BALLS: No. That's a librarian. 2064 01:25:03,470 --> 01:25:04,604 -Yeah. -Keep her up. 2065 01:25:04,606 --> 01:25:05,538 -No. -STEPHEN: You know, every year, 2066 01:25:05,540 --> 01:25:07,138 -this does not end well. -No. 2067 01:25:07,140 --> 01:25:08,674 -No. Does not keep it past the-- -These two. 2068 01:25:08,676 --> 01:25:09,842 BALLS: This person does not. 2069 01:25:09,844 --> 01:25:11,343 No. It's this person does. 2070 01:25:11,345 --> 01:25:12,477 It's this person, it's this person. 2071 01:25:12,479 --> 01:25:13,411 Okay, we're ready to make a guess. 2072 01:25:13,413 --> 01:25:14,513 Okay. Is your person... 2073 01:25:14,515 --> 01:25:15,415 -...Joan? -Joan. 2074 01:25:15,617 --> 01:25:18,316 Joan! Oh my God! 2075 01:25:18,318 --> 01:25:20,385 -TESS: (SCREAMING) -ALEX: Yes! Yeah! 2076 01:25:20,387 --> 01:25:22,354 -(ALL EXCLAIMING) -ALEX: How good was that! 2077 01:25:22,356 --> 01:25:23,524 -How good was that! -CHRISTINE: (LAUGHS) 2078 01:25:26,460 --> 01:25:27,294 BALLS: Hey. 2079 01:25:28,395 --> 01:25:29,528 BALLS: (CHUCKLES) 2080 01:25:29,530 --> 01:25:30,765 -ALEX: Hey, man. -What are you doing? 2081 01:25:32,600 --> 01:25:34,134 ALEX: Just having a smoke. 2082 01:25:36,638 --> 01:25:38,405 -Sit with you? -Yeah. 2083 01:25:39,172 --> 01:25:40,608 (BALLS GROANS) 2084 01:25:41,475 --> 01:25:42,577 Starting to rain. 2085 01:25:43,578 --> 01:25:45,647 -(SNIFFS) -(EXHALES) 2086 01:25:49,383 --> 01:25:50,650 Not gonna ask me what I was doing 2087 01:25:50,652 --> 01:25:52,317 coming out of the fucking darkness? 2088 01:25:52,319 --> 01:25:54,889 ALEX: Sorry, man. What were you doing? 2089 01:25:59,226 --> 01:26:00,728 I just want to say... 2090 01:26:02,195 --> 01:26:03,497 I gotta hand it to you. 2091 01:26:04,966 --> 01:26:07,401 -ALEX: You do? -Yeah. You look happy. 2092 01:26:09,704 --> 01:26:12,940 Happier than you've been in a... long time. 2093 01:26:15,743 --> 01:26:16,844 Okay. 2094 01:26:17,712 --> 01:26:19,514 If anything, you're an inspiration. 2095 01:26:20,447 --> 01:26:22,414 I mean, you're proof positive that it's never too late 2096 01:26:22,416 --> 01:26:24,652 for a man of a certain age to turn his life around, you know? 2097 01:26:25,520 --> 01:26:26,587 Make a fresh start. 2098 01:26:27,287 --> 01:26:29,724 Find out who you really are. 2099 01:26:30,290 --> 01:26:31,757 (INHALES, SIGHS) 2100 01:26:31,759 --> 01:26:32,792 Thank you, man. 2101 01:26:32,794 --> 01:26:34,459 BALLS: Right. 2102 01:26:34,461 --> 01:26:36,796 Which is why I'm gonna ask Christine for a divorce. 2103 01:26:36,798 --> 01:26:37,897 ALEX: What? 2104 01:26:37,899 --> 01:26:38,933 Yeah. 2105 01:26:39,466 --> 01:26:40,802 No. I hear ya. 2106 01:26:41,602 --> 01:26:43,403 I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna take control. 2107 01:26:44,237 --> 01:26:45,907 No, what are you talking about, man? 2108 01:26:46,273 --> 01:26:47,606 I just told you. You inspired me. 2109 01:26:47,608 --> 01:26:49,008 No, no, no. I didn't inspire you... 2110 01:26:49,010 --> 01:26:50,377 Yeah. You did. 2111 01:26:53,648 --> 01:26:55,380 I've been unhappy for such a long time. 2112 01:26:55,382 --> 01:26:57,016 I was just too chicken-shit to ever do anything about it. 2113 01:26:57,018 --> 01:26:58,517 ALEX: No. Don't do this, man. 2114 01:26:58,519 --> 01:26:59,386 -Don't do it. -Why not? 2115 01:27:00,353 --> 01:27:01,587 Our son's going to college. 2116 01:27:01,589 --> 01:27:04,525 If I get this job, it shoots in Texas. 2117 01:27:05,459 --> 01:27:07,425 I've never auditioned for anything outside the city 2118 01:27:07,427 --> 01:27:08,994 'cause I never wanted to be away from Jay. 2119 01:27:08,996 --> 01:27:10,297 That's over. 2120 01:27:11,799 --> 01:27:13,433 I want to be happy. 2121 01:27:13,768 --> 01:27:15,601 Okay, that's fine. But that doesn't mean that you-- 2122 01:27:15,603 --> 01:27:17,972 -Don't you want me to be happy? -No, of course I do, man. 2123 01:27:18,405 --> 01:27:19,741 -Look... -(SIGHS) 2124 01:27:21,743 --> 01:27:23,443 Give me one good reason why I shouldn't. 2125 01:27:30,685 --> 01:27:33,353 'Stache feels right. Feels good. 2126 01:27:39,794 --> 01:27:42,897 -Sorry. Kinda small, right? -Hmm. 2127 01:27:46,968 --> 01:27:48,435 You need more blankets? 2128 01:27:48,836 --> 01:27:50,301 -No. I think I'm-- -Are you sure? 2129 01:27:50,303 --> 01:27:51,670 This one's kinda old. 2130 01:27:51,672 --> 01:27:53,672 No, they seem, they seem okay. That's-- 2131 01:27:53,674 --> 01:27:54,940 -Okay. Any more pillows? -I'm good. 2132 01:27:54,942 --> 01:27:56,309 Anything? 2133 01:27:56,577 --> 01:27:58,043 No, this is great. Thank you. 2134 01:27:58,045 --> 01:28:00,548 Sorry. I know it's not the biggest couch in the world. 2135 01:28:01,348 --> 01:28:02,817 It's gonna be fine. Thank you. 2136 01:28:03,885 --> 01:28:05,052 You want to know my secret? 2137 01:28:07,922 --> 01:28:08,856 Do I? 2138 01:28:09,322 --> 01:28:09,991 Yeah. 2139 01:28:11,592 --> 01:28:13,661 The real reason I despise you. 2140 01:28:15,963 --> 01:28:16,798 Yeah, I guess. 2141 01:28:19,534 --> 01:28:21,301 It's because you remind me of myself. 2142 01:28:23,370 --> 01:28:24,939 Surprise. (SCOFFS) 2143 01:28:26,439 --> 01:28:29,041 And watching you wither away all these years 2144 01:28:29,043 --> 01:28:32,477 just keeps reminding me of how hot you used to be. 2145 01:28:32,479 --> 01:28:34,046 How funny you were. 2146 01:28:34,048 --> 01:28:35,448 Just, magnetic. 2147 01:28:38,351 --> 01:28:39,985 I was even attracted to you back in the day. 2148 01:28:39,987 --> 01:28:41,956 And I'm not hitting on you, I'm just making a point. 2149 01:28:43,724 --> 01:28:45,724 Watching you disappear in front of my eyes 2150 01:28:45,726 --> 01:28:49,831 has just been this fucking reminder to me. 2151 01:28:51,833 --> 01:28:53,433 That marriage doesn't fucking work. 2152 01:28:55,468 --> 01:28:56,904 I mean, it didn't work for my parents. 2153 01:28:58,072 --> 01:29:00,639 I literally watched it kill them. 2154 01:29:00,641 --> 01:29:01,974 And then it killed you. 2155 01:29:01,976 --> 01:29:04,344 And now it's doing the same thing to me. 2156 01:29:06,647 --> 01:29:10,381 And I wake up every day, 2157 01:29:10,383 --> 01:29:13,588 and the first thing I feel is anger. 2158 01:29:15,388 --> 01:29:17,658 I'm just fucking angry all the time. 2159 01:29:19,093 --> 01:29:21,093 So, yes, when I see you, I see me. 2160 01:29:21,095 --> 01:29:23,030 And I just fucking lash out, you know? 2161 01:29:25,867 --> 01:29:27,602 I'll deny we ever had this conversation. 2162 01:29:29,003 --> 01:29:29,871 Okay. 2163 01:29:31,873 --> 01:29:33,438 But I'm glad we talked. 2164 01:29:33,440 --> 01:29:34,842 It's like we needed it, maybe? 2165 01:29:36,777 --> 01:29:38,112 Yeah. Get some sleep. 2166 01:29:40,715 --> 01:29:44,785 (STAIRS CREAKING LIGHTLY) 2167 01:29:52,593 --> 01:29:56,063 (STAIRS SQUEAKING) 2168 01:30:04,805 --> 01:30:06,140 (GIGGLES) 2169 01:30:08,843 --> 01:30:11,579 (HUMMING) 2170 01:30:24,625 --> 01:30:29,128 ♪ Amazing grace ♪ 2171 01:30:29,130 --> 01:30:30,598 Morning. 2172 01:30:31,699 --> 01:30:35,836 CHRISTINE AND STEPHEN: ♪ How sweet the sound ♪ 2173 01:30:38,072 --> 01:30:43,611 ♪ That saved a wretch ♪ 2174 01:30:43,945 --> 01:30:48,481 ♪ Like me ♪ 2175 01:30:49,016 --> 01:30:54,722 ♪ I once was lost ♪ 2176 01:30:55,189 --> 01:31:00,893 ♪ But now am found ♪ 2177 01:31:00,895 --> 01:31:03,629 ♪ Was blind ♪ 2178 01:31:03,631 --> 01:31:09,500 ♪ But now I see ♪ 2179 01:31:09,502 --> 01:31:12,237 -(STEPHEN VOCALIZES) -(CHRISTINE CHUCKLES) Ooh. 2180 01:31:12,239 --> 01:31:17,910 ♪ Amazing grace ♪ 2181 01:31:17,912 --> 01:31:23,250 ♪ How sweet the sound ♪ 2182 01:31:23,851 --> 01:31:29,288 ♪ That saved a wretch ♪ 2183 01:31:29,290 --> 01:31:33,694 ♪ Like me ♪ 2184 01:31:35,596 --> 01:31:36,628 ALEX: (QUIETLY) How'd you sleep? 2185 01:31:36,630 --> 01:31:38,065 -TESS: Amazing. -ALEX: Yeah? 2186 01:31:39,734 --> 01:31:41,667 -ALEX: Really good. -TESS: Did you? 2187 01:31:41,669 --> 01:31:43,537 -ALEX: The couch is good. -TESS: Is it? 2188 01:31:43,804 --> 01:31:45,637 (VOCALIZING CONTINUES) 2189 01:31:45,639 --> 01:31:47,039 ALEX: I got it. 2190 01:31:47,041 --> 01:31:52,311 ♪ Was blind, but now... ♪ 2191 01:31:52,313 --> 01:31:53,812 (SILENCE) 2192 01:31:53,814 --> 01:31:54,949 -GEOFFREY: Yeah. -STEPHEN: You know? 2193 01:31:55,916 --> 01:31:59,754 I know it's been a difficult time for... some. 2194 01:32:00,254 --> 01:32:01,722 A lot of change. 2195 01:32:02,656 --> 01:32:04,158 But that's okay. 2196 01:32:04,792 --> 01:32:07,962 Um... You know, I read a line in a book once. 2197 01:32:08,729 --> 01:32:10,262 I don't remember exactly how it goes, 2198 01:32:10,264 --> 01:32:11,764 but it was something like, 2199 01:32:11,766 --> 01:32:15,136 "People change. But love always stays the same." 2200 01:32:16,704 --> 01:32:17,838 Anybody? 2201 01:32:19,040 --> 01:32:22,341 Mmm. Yeah, I don't see how that relates exactly, but okay. 2202 01:32:22,343 --> 01:32:24,676 -No. I loved it. I loved it. -ALEX: It's really nice. 2203 01:32:24,678 --> 01:32:25,677 -ALEX: I think it's nice. -Actually, 2204 01:32:25,679 --> 01:32:27,114 since you brought it up. 2205 01:32:27,715 --> 01:32:30,215 I have my own toast that I would like to make 2206 01:32:30,217 --> 01:32:31,683 to a very special friend of mine. 2207 01:32:31,685 --> 01:32:32,684 Oh, thank you. 2208 01:32:32,686 --> 01:32:33,986 -Her name is Tess. -Oh. 2209 01:32:33,988 --> 01:32:35,654 Um, as you all know, 2210 01:32:35,656 --> 01:32:37,656 she recently returned to her life's passion. 2211 01:32:37,658 --> 01:32:38,924 Mmm. Okay. 2212 01:32:38,926 --> 01:32:40,292 And even though she's only been at it 2213 01:32:40,294 --> 01:32:41,994 for a short period of time... 2214 01:32:41,996 --> 01:32:43,162 What, like a few months? 2215 01:32:43,164 --> 01:32:44,198 Yeah, but-- 2216 01:32:44,732 --> 01:32:46,832 No, this is amazing. 2217 01:32:46,834 --> 01:32:50,302 She has already been asked to be the assistant coach 2218 01:32:50,304 --> 01:32:52,938 for the US Women's Team, 2219 01:32:52,940 --> 01:32:54,940 -LA '28! -GEOFFREY: What? 2220 01:32:54,942 --> 01:32:56,975 -STEPHEN: What? Oh my God! -TESS: No decisions, guys. 2221 01:32:56,977 --> 01:32:58,043 -No. It's just... -(SCATTERED LAUGHTER) 2222 01:32:58,045 --> 01:32:59,311 -STEPHEN: You! Get up here! -No. 2223 01:32:59,313 --> 01:33:01,113 -CHRISTINE: Yes, please. -Come here. Oh, my God. 2224 01:33:01,115 --> 01:33:02,147 That is so... 2225 01:33:02,149 --> 01:33:04,151 (GULLS CALLING) 2226 01:33:04,852 --> 01:33:08,253 Okay. So, it was not supposed to go down like that. 2227 01:33:08,255 --> 01:33:09,021 Don't worry about it. It's totally fine. 2228 01:33:09,023 --> 01:33:10,322 I'm really sorry she announced it. 2229 01:33:10,324 --> 01:33:11,824 She happened to be at the house. 2230 01:33:11,826 --> 01:33:12,925 It's okay. It's great. 2231 01:33:12,927 --> 01:33:14,093 It's great news! 2232 01:33:14,095 --> 01:33:15,060 It's just such a big deal to tell you. 2233 01:33:15,062 --> 01:33:16,628 -I know. -But it is a big deal. 2234 01:33:16,630 --> 01:33:17,830 -It's big-- a huge deal. -Right? That they asked me. 2235 01:33:17,832 --> 01:33:19,131 That's so-- You deserve it, too. 2236 01:33:19,133 --> 01:33:20,966 But I have no idea if I want to do it. 2237 01:33:20,968 --> 01:33:22,701 -You should. -It would be a lot. 2238 01:33:22,703 --> 01:33:25,671 It would be a lot. You know. 2239 01:33:25,673 --> 01:33:27,172 And the boys. And... 2240 01:33:27,174 --> 01:33:28,974 -Actually, you know what? -I don't know how I feel. 2241 01:33:28,976 --> 01:33:30,375 I don't even know what it would be like, 2242 01:33:30,377 --> 01:33:32,079 -or what the commitment is. -Look at, look at this. 2243 01:33:33,280 --> 01:33:34,913 -What? -Something funny I just-- 2244 01:33:34,915 --> 01:33:36,050 Look at that. 2245 01:33:36,717 --> 01:33:38,417 -That's you. -Wait. Where is this? 2246 01:33:38,419 --> 01:33:40,652 That's-- I found that photo of you 2247 01:33:40,654 --> 01:33:43,222 and I blew it up and I put it on the wall of my apartment. 2248 01:33:43,224 --> 01:33:44,389 'Cause I wanted the boys to see 2249 01:33:44,391 --> 01:33:45,659 what a fucking legend their mom is. 2250 01:33:47,928 --> 01:33:51,632 Why didn't you pick a photo of me with the kids for your wall? 2251 01:33:52,099 --> 01:33:56,034 No, because I got a photo of you at the height of your power. 2252 01:33:56,036 --> 01:33:58,070 Look at you. Look how high you are. 2253 01:33:58,072 --> 01:33:59,872 That is sick! I mean, are you kidding? 2254 01:33:59,874 --> 01:34:03,041 Just be like... Smash! You know? 2255 01:34:03,043 --> 01:34:05,878 Like, that's unbelievable. It's their favorite thing. 2256 01:34:05,880 --> 01:34:08,349 I love it, too. I think-- That photo is awesome. 2257 01:34:10,017 --> 01:34:11,152 It's not me now. 2258 01:34:15,055 --> 01:34:15,990 Yeah, it is. 2259 01:34:18,726 --> 01:34:19,793 No, it isn't. 2260 01:34:20,961 --> 01:34:21,829 Here. 2261 01:34:25,900 --> 01:34:27,866 Do you have to sleep till like two fucking thirty every day? 2262 01:34:27,868 --> 01:34:29,101 Why? Did people wake up already? 2263 01:34:29,103 --> 01:34:30,171 Oh, my God. 2264 01:34:30,871 --> 01:34:32,740 What are we looking at? Oh! 2265 01:34:33,841 --> 01:34:34,840 ALEX: I'm not sure what's happening right now. 2266 01:34:34,842 --> 01:34:35,809 I'm upset. 2267 01:34:36,810 --> 01:34:37,878 That's what's happening. 2268 01:34:38,245 --> 01:34:39,146 ALEX: Okay. 2269 01:34:41,015 --> 01:34:43,117 You can upset me, and I can upset you. 2270 01:34:43,984 --> 01:34:45,052 Right? 2271 01:34:45,786 --> 01:34:47,421 It's what happens in a relationship. 2272 01:34:48,289 --> 01:34:51,225 I never said that we couldn't get upset. (STAMMERS) 2273 01:34:53,961 --> 01:34:55,863 I know you were trying to do a nice thing. 2274 01:35:00,201 --> 01:35:03,237 It hurt my feelings. Let's go in. (SIGHS) 2275 01:35:05,439 --> 01:35:08,173 Are you... Do you still want me to come to the attic tonight? 2276 01:35:08,175 --> 01:35:10,311 (GRUNTS) What? 2277 01:35:12,179 --> 01:35:13,078 (WHISPERING) What about this? 2278 01:35:13,080 --> 01:35:14,215 That's fine. 2279 01:35:15,015 --> 01:35:16,250 -Space? -Okay. Jesus. 2280 01:35:19,486 --> 01:35:20,854 (WHISPERS) I'm starving. 2281 01:35:21,855 --> 01:35:23,822 Well, why don't you use a spoon like a person? 2282 01:35:23,824 --> 01:35:26,060 Oh. Well, I don't want to dirty any more dishes. 2283 01:35:26,427 --> 01:35:28,360 Well, we can wash them in the morning. 2284 01:35:28,362 --> 01:35:29,730 Oh, okay. 2285 01:35:31,298 --> 01:35:32,933 It's so good with my fingers. 2286 01:35:36,170 --> 01:35:37,903 (WHISPERS) Shouldn't have done that one thing, you know? 2287 01:35:37,905 --> 01:35:39,406 Jesus Christ. 2288 01:35:46,413 --> 01:35:47,881 (DOOR CREAKS) 2289 01:35:50,417 --> 01:35:51,852 (SIGHS) 2290 01:35:54,255 --> 01:35:58,259 (MUFFLED MUSIC PLAYS) 2291 01:36:01,428 --> 01:36:04,129 (GROANS) House is busy tonight. (SIGHS) 2292 01:36:04,131 --> 01:36:05,833 Anybody see you come up? 2293 01:36:06,133 --> 01:36:08,100 No, everybody was kind of in their own world. 2294 01:36:08,102 --> 01:36:11,336 I was watching this video of a therapist talking to couples, 2295 01:36:11,338 --> 01:36:15,040 and had them, as a healthy exercise, 2296 01:36:15,042 --> 01:36:16,977 ask each other what they don't like about each other. 2297 01:36:19,280 --> 01:36:21,348 That you slept with somebody, for starters. 2298 01:36:22,016 --> 01:36:23,815 Well, I only did because I thought you were 2299 01:36:23,817 --> 01:36:24,451 and I was jealous. 2300 01:36:26,086 --> 01:36:28,253 How you never respond to photos I send you. 2301 01:36:28,255 --> 01:36:29,988 Photos you always ask for. 2302 01:36:29,990 --> 01:36:32,157 I always send a thumbs-up or a heart emoji or something. 2303 01:36:32,159 --> 01:36:33,925 I'm sitting there, rushing around, 2304 01:36:33,927 --> 01:36:37,331 trying to get some perfect angle of a photo for them. 2305 01:36:37,931 --> 01:36:39,898 Just so that... You know, 2306 01:36:39,900 --> 01:36:41,400 I just felt like a psycho. 2307 01:36:41,402 --> 01:36:43,969 Feel like an idiot, knowing you could care less. 2308 01:36:43,971 --> 01:36:45,372 I love getting those photos. That's not true. 2309 01:36:47,041 --> 01:36:48,909 How quiet you got at home. 2310 01:36:50,944 --> 01:36:52,344 As if you were a different person 2311 01:36:52,346 --> 01:36:53,613 than you are with everybody else. 2312 01:36:53,615 --> 01:36:55,314 That drove me crazy. 2313 01:36:55,316 --> 01:36:58,083 Well... no, first... 2314 01:36:58,085 --> 01:36:59,985 Jeez, you're good at this game. 2315 01:36:59,987 --> 01:37:01,556 First that confused me. 2316 01:37:02,189 --> 01:37:04,391 Then made me sad, then drove me crazy. 2317 01:37:07,261 --> 01:37:09,830 As if we clearly weren't interesting enough for you. 2318 01:37:10,565 --> 01:37:12,299 -I wasn't. -(SIGHS) 2319 01:37:14,368 --> 01:37:15,969 It was like you weren't even there. 2320 01:37:17,572 --> 01:37:19,006 I wasn't there? 2321 01:37:19,940 --> 01:37:22,140 -You checked out. -Me? 2322 01:37:22,142 --> 01:37:23,609 Just like you would after a loss. 2323 01:37:23,611 --> 01:37:25,043 Except for I wouldn't know the cause, 2324 01:37:25,045 --> 01:37:26,480 and so I'm just like, alone. 2325 01:37:28,315 --> 01:37:30,652 Well, good thing we aren't together. 2326 01:37:34,488 --> 01:37:35,856 Aren't we? 2327 01:37:36,857 --> 01:37:40,127 Well, I don't think us hiding is us back together. 2328 01:37:40,562 --> 01:37:42,630 Well, what do you care what anyone thinks, anyway? 2329 01:37:44,431 --> 01:37:45,966 Maybe I'm embarrassed. 2330 01:37:46,900 --> 01:37:48,001 By what? 2331 01:37:50,070 --> 01:37:51,472 -Me. -Why? 2332 01:37:54,441 --> 01:37:56,343 'Cause I don't know if you even love me. 2333 01:38:00,481 --> 01:38:03,248 You love some idea of me, hanging on your wall. 2334 01:38:03,250 --> 01:38:04,983 (INHALES) 2335 01:38:04,985 --> 01:38:06,985 But not the woman you're looking at right now, 2336 01:38:06,987 --> 01:38:08,387 -in front of you -Don't tell me 2337 01:38:08,389 --> 01:38:09,555 -in this moment. -how I feel and think. 2338 01:38:09,557 --> 01:38:10,658 That's not-- 2339 01:38:12,560 --> 01:38:15,060 I mean, maybe I don't love you. I don't know. 2340 01:38:15,062 --> 01:38:17,195 Maybe I fucked you because you fucked that woman, 2341 01:38:17,197 --> 01:38:19,131 or 'cause it felt good to hear you say 2342 01:38:19,133 --> 01:38:20,465 you missed me in front of strangers, 2343 01:38:20,467 --> 01:38:22,234 -which is... embarrassing. -Whoa, whoa, whoa. 2344 01:38:22,236 --> 01:38:24,336 It was a stupid fucking thing I did, and I hate myself for it. 2345 01:38:24,338 --> 01:38:28,140 Why? We had no responsibility to each other. 2346 01:38:28,142 --> 01:38:30,041 Even now, there's no real commitment. 2347 01:38:30,043 --> 01:38:31,677 -Of course there is. -To what? 2348 01:38:31,679 --> 01:38:33,613 To making each other happy. 2349 01:38:33,615 --> 01:38:35,347 Because we're doing things that make us happy 2350 01:38:35,349 --> 01:38:36,682 as individuals now. 2351 01:38:36,684 --> 01:38:38,684 And if we're happy, that's it. 2352 01:38:38,686 --> 01:38:41,353 Then we make the people we love happy too. 2353 01:38:41,355 --> 01:38:43,257 That's it? What are you, eight years old? 2354 01:38:44,124 --> 01:38:46,324 A real relationship 2355 01:38:46,326 --> 01:38:49,394 is finding somebody you can also be unhappy with. 2356 01:38:49,396 --> 01:38:50,632 Somebody who has your back. 2357 01:38:52,199 --> 01:38:54,501 We stopped having each other's backs. 2358 01:38:54,702 --> 01:38:57,337 I always tried to have your back. Are you kidding me? 2359 01:38:58,071 --> 01:38:59,471 There just wasn't enough room 2360 01:38:59,473 --> 01:39:00,740 because had to have your own back. 2361 01:39:00,742 --> 01:39:03,008 There wasn't any room left on your back. 2362 01:39:03,010 --> 01:39:05,410 Trust me, I heard. "Alex, he loves it so much. 2363 01:39:05,412 --> 01:39:06,712 He's always there for you. 2364 01:39:06,714 --> 01:39:08,748 He goes to everything. He loves it." 2365 01:39:08,750 --> 01:39:11,586 -I did. -Yeah? And when I retired? 2366 01:39:14,756 --> 01:39:18,223 When I let go of the thing I loved since I was 11? 2367 01:39:18,225 --> 01:39:19,293 You shut off. 2368 01:39:21,395 --> 01:39:23,128 You said you felt alone? 2369 01:39:23,130 --> 01:39:25,966 Baby, you left me alone years ago in this relationship. 2370 01:39:30,638 --> 01:39:32,172 Okay, you want to know the truth? 2371 01:39:32,674 --> 01:39:33,741 Yes. 2372 01:39:34,174 --> 01:39:35,309 I wasn't the downer. 2373 01:39:37,010 --> 01:39:37,978 You were. 2374 01:39:44,451 --> 01:39:47,655 You're right. I was a downer. 2375 01:39:50,558 --> 01:39:53,327 After years of dedicating myself to a thing, 2376 01:39:54,094 --> 01:39:55,195 I thought I could just stop. 2377 01:39:57,397 --> 01:40:00,602 And have my own children, and you be the replacement. 2378 01:40:04,539 --> 01:40:05,740 I did. 2379 01:40:08,643 --> 01:40:09,642 TESS: (THROUGH DOOR) Never acknowledging 2380 01:40:09,644 --> 01:40:12,512 that it was the end of this whole other life, 2381 01:40:12,514 --> 01:40:14,749 or where I was gonna put all those feelings. 2382 01:40:15,182 --> 01:40:17,583 And then I was doing six years of in vitro, 2383 01:40:17,585 --> 01:40:19,685 and injecting myself full of all those chemicals, 2384 01:40:19,687 --> 01:40:21,486 whatever that was doing. 2385 01:40:21,488 --> 01:40:23,725 And by the way, and I love that challenge. 2386 01:40:25,527 --> 01:40:30,563 But I was having trouble with you and them 2387 01:40:30,565 --> 01:40:34,201 being the only thing fulfilling me. 2388 01:40:37,404 --> 01:40:40,107 (INHALES) And you knew I was struggling. 2389 01:40:41,676 --> 01:40:43,778 But that I was too proud to ever ask for help. 2390 01:40:45,547 --> 01:40:47,114 You hid behind that. 2391 01:40:49,082 --> 01:40:50,816 And I felt relieved. 2392 01:40:50,818 --> 01:40:52,652 That you never asked. 2393 01:40:52,654 --> 01:40:55,422 Because then I could avoid it too. 2394 01:40:55,723 --> 01:40:57,222 I couldn't ask you that. 2395 01:40:57,224 --> 01:40:59,090 -ALEX: Of course you could. -TESS: No! 2396 01:40:59,092 --> 01:41:00,294 -Of course you could. -Baby, baby... 2397 01:41:01,629 --> 01:41:03,094 You left me alone. 2398 01:41:03,096 --> 01:41:04,564 I left you alone? 2399 01:41:04,566 --> 01:41:06,398 You checked out. 2400 01:41:06,400 --> 01:41:08,133 You think that was fun to be around? 2401 01:41:08,135 --> 01:41:10,703 I don't want to go back to that. I won't! 2402 01:41:10,705 --> 01:41:12,538 -So what are you saying then? -What I'm s-- 2403 01:41:12,540 --> 01:41:14,306 Fuck! Oh, fucking stupid-- 2404 01:41:14,308 --> 01:41:15,440 TESS: What the fuck? 2405 01:41:15,442 --> 01:41:17,309 Jesus fucking Christ, Christine! 2406 01:41:17,311 --> 01:41:19,679 Why don't you mind your own fucking business for once? 2407 01:41:19,681 --> 01:41:21,179 CHRISTINE: Whoa. 2408 01:41:21,181 --> 01:41:22,717 Maybe take care of your own shit first. 2409 01:41:23,216 --> 01:41:24,349 CHRISTINE: What the fuck is that supposed to mean? 2410 01:41:24,351 --> 01:41:26,186 HOST: ...comedy, make some noise right now! 2411 01:41:26,688 --> 01:41:30,221 For my main man, the one and only, Alex Novak everybody! 2412 01:41:30,223 --> 01:41:34,696 (CHEERING) 2413 01:41:39,333 --> 01:41:40,668 (APPLAUSE DIES DOWN) 2414 01:41:57,852 --> 01:41:59,486 (SCOFFS) Fucking relationships suck. 2415 01:42:01,288 --> 01:42:02,722 (SNIFFLING) 2416 01:42:02,724 --> 01:42:04,489 And I don't mean that they-- they're like a downer. 2417 01:42:04,491 --> 01:42:06,157 I mean, they fucking suck. 2418 01:42:06,159 --> 01:42:08,226 (LAUGHTER) 2419 01:42:08,228 --> 01:42:10,228 I don't think you're fucking hearing what I'm trying to say. 2420 01:42:10,230 --> 01:42:12,330 I'm telling you that relationships suck. 2421 01:42:12,332 --> 01:42:14,934 Like, if you are in a relationship with somebody, 2422 01:42:14,936 --> 01:42:16,434 they are literally trying to suck 2423 01:42:16,436 --> 01:42:17,605 the fucking life out of you. 2424 01:42:19,607 --> 01:42:21,643 Okay? They're fucking vampires. 2425 01:42:25,312 --> 01:42:27,546 And the moment that you're happy, fucking look out. 2426 01:42:27,548 --> 01:42:29,481 The moment that you are fucking happy, 2427 01:42:29,483 --> 01:42:33,218 they see that as pure, unfiltered fucking blood, 2428 01:42:33,220 --> 01:42:35,387 and they will suck it right out of your fucking body 2429 01:42:35,389 --> 01:42:37,957 until you are gaunt and fucking drained. 2430 01:42:37,959 --> 01:42:40,626 And they will take every fucking morsel of it out. 2431 01:42:40,628 --> 01:42:44,231 Because you know why? Because happiness is the sun to them. 2432 01:42:44,866 --> 01:42:47,667 Okay? Happiness is like a stake to the fucking heart. 2433 01:42:47,669 --> 01:42:48,934 They don't want it. 2434 01:42:48,936 --> 01:42:51,204 They don't want you to be fucking happy. 2435 01:42:52,406 --> 01:42:53,873 And there are only two ways out 2436 01:42:53,875 --> 01:42:57,576 of this fucking bleak, miserable existence. 2437 01:42:57,578 --> 01:43:00,480 You either become one of them or you fucking die. 2438 01:43:02,382 --> 01:43:03,518 Well, I don't want it. 2439 01:43:04,886 --> 01:43:08,321 I don't wanna be a fucking vampire. Okay? 2440 01:43:10,658 --> 01:43:12,760 I don't want it. 2441 01:43:13,761 --> 01:43:15,328 (SIGHS) 2442 01:43:19,901 --> 01:43:23,805 (AUDIO MUFFLED) 2443 01:43:31,311 --> 01:43:32,446 ALEX: Dad. 2444 01:43:33,313 --> 01:43:34,312 What the fuck are you doing here? 2445 01:43:34,314 --> 01:43:35,415 Son, uh... 2446 01:43:36,383 --> 01:43:39,317 Well, I just came down to see what the fuss is. 2447 01:43:39,319 --> 01:43:40,720 Jesus... 2448 01:43:40,722 --> 01:43:43,991 You... really yelled at those guys. 2449 01:43:46,627 --> 01:43:49,461 Yeah, sorry, I don't really know what that all was. 2450 01:43:49,463 --> 01:43:54,535 Yeah, well, I wouldn't say it was funny, but it was, uh... 2451 01:43:55,770 --> 01:43:56,938 ...a bit dangerous. 2452 01:43:59,406 --> 01:44:00,371 -Dad, look-- -Son. 2453 01:44:00,373 --> 01:44:01,308 -No, Dad, listen-- -Son. 2454 01:44:02,744 --> 01:44:05,378 You're a decent man, Alex. 2455 01:44:06,446 --> 01:44:08,446 And you can give yourself 2456 01:44:08,448 --> 01:44:10,651 the grace to work through all of this. 2457 01:44:11,519 --> 01:44:12,720 You know? 2458 01:44:13,621 --> 01:44:15,386 Mom. 2459 01:44:15,388 --> 01:44:18,057 Yeah, well, we rub off on each other. That's a good thing. 2460 01:44:18,059 --> 01:44:21,829 Your mother and I, we're lucky like that. 2461 01:44:22,764 --> 01:44:23,865 It's rare. 2462 01:44:25,800 --> 01:44:29,704 It's really rare. You understand? 2463 01:44:30,437 --> 01:44:33,440 -(INDISTINCT CHATTER) -(HORNS HONKING) 2464 01:44:36,544 --> 01:44:37,477 Okay. 2465 01:44:38,646 --> 01:44:39,947 It's okay. Come on. 2466 01:44:41,314 --> 01:44:42,282 Come on. 2467 01:44:43,518 --> 01:44:44,451 Hey. 2468 01:44:45,418 --> 01:44:46,621 There you go. 2469 01:44:50,057 --> 01:44:51,991 Now. 2470 01:44:51,993 --> 01:44:53,926 I'm sorry... I'm sorry about... 2471 01:44:53,928 --> 01:44:56,361 You-- You don't have to be sorry about anything. 2472 01:44:56,363 --> 01:44:59,698 Life happens to us, you know? 2473 01:44:59,700 --> 01:45:02,400 What we have to do is recognize 2474 01:45:02,402 --> 01:45:04,539 where we stand and what's good about it. 2475 01:45:06,808 --> 01:45:07,775 It's gonna be okay. 2476 01:45:08,743 --> 01:45:10,645 Yeah? You work it through. 2477 01:45:13,514 --> 01:45:15,550 As for this, next time... 2478 01:45:17,384 --> 01:45:18,619 a few more jokes. 2479 01:45:19,520 --> 01:45:20,888 -See you. -See ya. 2480 01:45:21,956 --> 01:45:23,656 I'll add a joke. 2481 01:45:23,658 --> 01:45:25,626 (JAN LAUGHS) 2482 01:45:27,562 --> 01:45:31,398 (BEEPING IN DISTANCE) 2483 01:45:37,138 --> 01:45:38,806 (BUZZER BUZZES) 2484 01:45:51,152 --> 01:45:52,385 (GRUNTS) 2485 01:45:58,993 --> 01:46:00,427 (GROANS) 2486 01:46:02,663 --> 01:46:04,665 (BUZZER BUZZES) 2487 01:46:08,102 --> 01:46:11,136 Hey, man. I got bagels. 2488 01:46:11,138 --> 01:46:12,607 ALEX: Oh, for fuck's sake. 2489 01:46:14,008 --> 01:46:16,711 So, they didn't say it, like, outright, 2490 01:46:17,612 --> 01:46:19,879 but my agent did tell me that production 2491 01:46:19,881 --> 01:46:22,049 called them, like, several times. 2492 01:46:22,482 --> 01:46:23,916 Maybe they want their hat back. 2493 01:46:23,918 --> 01:46:26,053 (CHUCKLES) Will you just let me dream, bro? 2494 01:46:26,687 --> 01:46:28,055 No, you're probably right. 2495 01:46:28,789 --> 01:46:30,556 ALEX: Look, man, I think it's great that you got the job 2496 01:46:30,558 --> 01:46:33,424 and that you had that experience, but... 2497 01:46:33,426 --> 01:46:34,793 I don't know, now that you're back in town, 2498 01:46:34,795 --> 01:46:37,596 don't you think maybe it's time that you face reality? 2499 01:46:37,598 --> 01:46:40,833 I have no delusions. Okay? 2500 01:46:40,835 --> 01:46:44,770 I know they killed my character, but just think about it. 2501 01:46:44,772 --> 01:46:47,673 What if they bring him back as a ghost seeking revenge? 2502 01:46:47,675 --> 01:46:49,008 I sketched out this little storyline 2503 01:46:49,010 --> 01:46:50,509 I'm gonna send to production. 2504 01:46:50,511 --> 01:46:52,546 But I'm definitely gonna give the hat back first. 2505 01:46:53,214 --> 01:46:55,482 But you never know. I'm a good writer. 2506 01:46:56,784 --> 01:46:58,052 I was talking about your marriage. 2507 01:46:58,686 --> 01:47:01,022 Oh. (COUGHS) What about it? 2508 01:47:01,889 --> 01:47:04,189 Well, I mean, just, everything, you know, with Christine 2509 01:47:04,191 --> 01:47:06,928 and you leaving her and all that. 2510 01:47:07,194 --> 01:47:09,194 Oh, no, no, no. No, we're good. 2511 01:47:09,196 --> 01:47:10,229 (SPOON CLINKING IN CUP) 2512 01:47:10,231 --> 01:47:11,864 -Really? -Yeah. 2513 01:47:11,866 --> 01:47:13,832 Yeah, yeah. We talked it out. 2514 01:47:13,834 --> 01:47:14,900 Yeah. 2515 01:47:14,902 --> 01:47:16,702 She said her piece-- (INHALES) 2516 01:47:16,704 --> 01:47:19,705 ...which was hard to hear, was good. 2517 01:47:19,707 --> 01:47:22,643 And then I said mine and then, yeah. Yeah. 2518 01:47:23,744 --> 01:47:25,476 Oh. Check this out. 2519 01:47:25,478 --> 01:47:28,180 She wants me to go back more than I do. 2520 01:47:28,182 --> 01:47:29,949 Yeah, she keeps saying, "You should just write them. 2521 01:47:29,951 --> 01:47:31,752 They need to bring back your character." 2522 01:47:33,087 --> 01:47:35,022 -Is that crazy? -Mmm. 2523 01:47:36,824 --> 01:47:37,725 ALEX: Yeah. 2524 01:47:40,628 --> 01:47:41,996 Hey, man, is there, um... 2525 01:47:44,865 --> 01:47:46,734 Is there a chance that she's... 2526 01:47:48,102 --> 01:47:49,537 I don't know, that she wants you to... 2527 01:47:51,504 --> 01:47:53,074 I don't know, she wants to get some time away from you? 2528 01:47:55,242 --> 01:47:56,243 Why? 2529 01:47:56,644 --> 01:47:58,110 You'll be out of town or... 2530 01:47:58,112 --> 01:47:59,847 BALLS: She came with me to Texas. 2531 01:48:00,548 --> 01:48:01,246 -Really? -BALLS: Yeah. 2532 01:48:01,248 --> 01:48:02,681 She did? 2533 01:48:02,683 --> 01:48:04,085 Yeah. She was there all nine days. 2534 01:48:06,120 --> 01:48:07,688 It was her idea to steal the hat. 2535 01:48:08,823 --> 01:48:10,923 Yeah, she's like, thinks I look... 2536 01:48:10,925 --> 01:48:12,760 you know, really handsome. 2537 01:48:13,828 --> 01:48:15,062 Wow, I'm confused. 2538 01:48:16,664 --> 01:48:18,130 Yeah, well, confused is good. 2539 01:48:18,132 --> 01:48:19,967 I'm confused most of the time. 2540 01:48:20,668 --> 01:48:22,003 I just like being confused with her. 2541 01:48:23,904 --> 01:48:25,738 Who would have thought Jalen... 2542 01:48:25,740 --> 01:48:27,740 (INHALES) I love that guy... 2543 01:48:27,742 --> 01:48:29,810 but going away would be actually good for us? 2544 01:48:31,912 --> 01:48:33,681 -Hmm. -What is that behind me? 2545 01:48:35,750 --> 01:48:37,818 -That's a picture of Tess. -Oh. 2546 01:48:38,919 --> 01:48:40,621 I can't see her face. 2547 01:48:41,155 --> 01:48:42,788 Well, yeah, the photo's taken from behind. 2548 01:48:42,790 --> 01:48:44,792 Yeah, well, you should just turn her around. 2549 01:48:45,226 --> 01:48:47,094 Yeah, I don't think-- I don't think they can do that. 2550 01:48:49,163 --> 01:48:50,297 Someday. 2551 01:49:17,158 --> 01:49:19,625 STAFFER: She's competed every single night 2552 01:49:19,627 --> 01:49:21,060 of her college career. 2553 01:49:21,062 --> 01:49:22,995 She doesn't have as much international experience, 2554 01:49:22,997 --> 01:49:25,264 but to be able to grind through the Big Ten season 2555 01:49:25,266 --> 01:49:28,133 and make a big run in the tournament... 2556 01:49:28,135 --> 01:49:29,768 -She's got what it takes. -Played for John Cook too. 2557 01:49:29,770 --> 01:49:31,070 -John Cook. -Exactly. 2558 01:49:31,072 --> 01:49:32,905 -Is that Rachel, -(DOORBELL RINGS) 2559 01:49:32,907 --> 01:49:34,840 who Arch was saying came out of UVA? 2560 01:49:34,842 --> 01:49:36,710 (DOGS BARKING) 2561 01:49:39,680 --> 01:49:41,015 (SNIFFLES) 2562 01:49:42,783 --> 01:49:43,884 -TESS: Hi. -Hey. 2563 01:49:44,852 --> 01:49:46,385 -Uh, is everything-- -Everything's fine, yeah. 2564 01:49:46,387 --> 01:49:47,886 I just dropped the boys off at school, 2565 01:49:47,888 --> 01:49:49,021 but I wanted to come by here 2566 01:49:49,023 --> 01:49:50,355 before I drove back to the city-- 2567 01:49:50,357 --> 01:49:52,024 I'm just in the middle of it 2568 01:49:52,026 --> 01:49:53,625 -with the coaching staff, so I-- -Okay. Okay, I just want-- 2569 01:49:53,627 --> 01:49:54,995 I just wanna show you something really quick. 2570 01:49:56,964 --> 01:49:59,765 -Look at that. -What is that, Alex? 2571 01:49:59,767 --> 01:50:01,867 It's you. It's you. First time you saw the minivan. 2572 01:50:01,869 --> 01:50:03,302 Look how unhappy you are. 2573 01:50:03,304 --> 01:50:04,738 It's my favorite thing. 2574 01:50:06,707 --> 01:50:07,608 I see that. 2575 01:50:09,310 --> 01:50:11,312 I realize that I was the one who was unhappy. 2576 01:50:14,215 --> 01:50:16,884 I was unhappy in our marriage. 2577 01:50:17,218 --> 01:50:19,987 I wasn't unhappy with our marriage. 2578 01:50:28,395 --> 01:50:30,030 I wanna be unhappy with you. 2579 01:50:33,801 --> 01:50:35,035 Let's be unhappy together. 2580 01:50:43,344 --> 01:50:45,312 (FOOTSTEPS) 2581 01:50:54,722 --> 01:50:57,022 Fuck! (SIGHS) 2582 01:50:57,024 --> 01:50:58,125 I'll think about it. 2583 01:50:59,960 --> 01:51:01,860 (SIGHS) 2584 01:51:01,862 --> 01:51:03,731 (INTRO TO "UNDER PRESSURE" PLAYS) 2585 01:51:15,242 --> 01:51:19,947 (INSTRUMENTAL PLAYS) 2586 01:51:22,950 --> 01:51:24,919 (PANTING) 2587 01:51:31,492 --> 01:51:35,160 ♪ Pressure Pushing down on me ♪ 2588 01:51:35,162 --> 01:51:38,232 Pressing down on you No man ask for 2589 01:51:39,266 --> 01:51:41,233 And in that moment, I stood up and I said, 2590 01:51:41,235 --> 01:51:44,805 "Hey. Your mom is not going anywhere... 2591 01:51:45,439 --> 01:51:47,472 till she helps me open this jar." 2592 01:51:47,474 --> 01:51:49,775 -(LAUGHTER) -(CHUCKLES) 2593 01:51:49,777 --> 01:51:53,280 GIRL: (SCATTING) 2594 01:51:55,816 --> 01:52:00,052 ♪ That's the terror of knowing What this world is about ♪ 2595 01:52:00,054 --> 01:52:02,788 ♪ Watching some good friends Screaming ♪ 2596 01:52:02,790 --> 01:52:04,223 ♪ "Let me out!" ♪ 2597 01:52:04,225 --> 01:52:07,928 ♪ Pray tomorrow takes us higher ♪ 2598 01:52:08,462 --> 01:52:12,097 ♪ Pressure on people People on streets ♪ 2599 01:52:12,099 --> 01:52:15,000 -(PIANO PLAYS) -(SCATTING) Mmm. 2600 01:52:15,002 --> 01:52:17,404 (SCATTING) 2601 01:52:18,072 --> 01:52:19,206 GIRL 2: ♪ Okay ♪ 2602 01:52:21,275 --> 01:52:23,408 ♪ Chippin' around ♪ 2603 01:52:23,410 --> 01:52:25,244 ♪ Kick my brains 'Round the floor ♪ 2604 01:52:25,246 --> 01:52:29,114 ♪ These are the days It never rains, it just pours ♪ 2605 01:52:29,116 --> 01:52:30,916 ♪ People on streets ♪ 2606 01:52:30,918 --> 01:52:32,152 (SCATTING) 2607 01:52:33,254 --> 01:52:34,421 ♪ People on streets ♪ 2608 01:52:36,957 --> 01:52:41,260 ♪ It's the terror of knowing What this world is about ♪ 2609 01:52:41,262 --> 01:52:43,795 ♪ Watching some good friends Screaming ♪ 2610 01:52:43,797 --> 01:52:45,230 ♪ "Let me out!" ♪ 2611 01:52:45,232 --> 01:52:47,232 ♪ Pray tomorrow ♪ 2612 01:52:47,234 --> 01:52:49,434 ♪ Takes us Higher, higher, high ♪ 2613 01:52:49,436 --> 01:52:53,040 ♪ Pressure on people People on streets ♪ 2614 01:52:55,809 --> 01:52:59,146 ♪ Turned away from it all Like a blind man ♪ 2615 01:53:00,114 --> 01:53:03,083 ♪ Sat on a fence But it don't work ♪ 2616 01:53:03,951 --> 01:53:07,286 ♪ Keep coming up with love But it's so slashed and torn ♪ 2617 01:53:07,288 --> 01:53:12,858 ♪ Why, why, why ♪ 2618 01:53:12,860 --> 01:53:18,463 (RISING SUSTAINED NOTE) 2619 01:53:18,465 --> 01:53:22,334 ♪ Love, love, love Love, love, love, love ♪ 2620 01:53:22,336 --> 01:53:26,238 ♪ Insanity laughs under pressure We're cracking ♪ 2621 01:53:26,240 --> 01:53:30,108 ♪ Can't we give ourselves One more chance? ♪ 2622 01:53:30,110 --> 01:53:34,079 ♪ Why can't we give love That one more chance? ♪ 2623 01:53:34,081 --> 01:53:38,016 ♪ Why can't we give love Give love ♪ 2624 01:53:38,018 --> 01:53:41,987 ♪ Give love, give love, Give love, give love... ♪ 2625 01:53:41,989 --> 01:53:43,455 ("UNDER PRESSURE" BY QUEEN AND DAVID BOWIE PLAYS) 2626 01:53:43,457 --> 01:53:48,293 ♪ 'Cause love's Such an old-fashioned word ♪ 2627 01:53:48,295 --> 01:53:52,931 ♪ And love dares you To care for ♪ 2628 01:53:52,933 --> 01:53:58,538 ♪ The people on The edge of the night ♪ 2629 01:53:58,540 --> 01:54:03,375 ♪ And love dares you to change Our way of ♪ 2630 01:54:03,377 --> 01:54:07,946 (VOCALS ONLY) ♪ Caring about ourselves ♪ 2631 01:54:07,948 --> 01:54:11,950 ♪ This is our last dance ♪ 2632 01:54:11,952 --> 01:54:16,021 ♪ This is our last dance ♪ 2633 01:54:16,023 --> 01:54:17,257 ♪ This is ourselves ♪ 2634 01:54:20,461 --> 01:54:21,929 ♪ Under pressure ♪ 2635 01:54:24,231 --> 01:54:25,633 ♪ Under pressure ♪ 2636 01:54:28,936 --> 01:54:29,936 ♪ Pressure ♪ 192720

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