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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:16,790 --> 00:00:18,590 Eleanor, go on in. 2 00:00:20,070 --> 00:00:21,070 Hi. 3 00:00:22,190 --> 00:00:23,230 What's going on? 4 00:00:23,650 --> 00:00:25,930 Well, you're dead. 5 00:00:26,150 --> 00:00:28,350 So what you're saying is I'm Poets Malone? 6 00:00:28,570 --> 00:00:29,870 You're Toast Malone. 7 00:00:30,110 --> 00:00:33,150 A Ghost Malone. Hey, let's leave it Malone. You're dead. 8 00:00:33,750 --> 00:00:36,090 Well, that eats a bag of ducks. 9 00:00:36,630 --> 00:00:39,050 You can't swear here. 10 00:00:39,510 --> 00:00:40,570 Mother Forker. 11 00:00:41,130 --> 00:00:42,450 That sucks bowls. 12 00:00:43,850 --> 00:00:45,890 Where the fork is here exactly? 13 00:00:46,110 --> 00:00:53,110 Am I up with the angels or down with Joe Rogan fans when they die? 14 00:00:53,430 --> 00:00:59,210 Generally speaking, in the afterlife, there's a goo place and a bed place. 15 00:00:59,930 --> 00:01:05,110 You, Ellen whore, shell strap on, you're in the goo place. 16 00:01:05,630 --> 00:01:07,450 Oh, I think I just scored it a little. 17 00:01:07,650 --> 00:01:11,970 You see, whether you end up here in the goo place or down there in the bed 18 00:01:11,970 --> 00:01:15,180 place... All depends upon how you acted in your life on Earth. 19 00:01:15,660 --> 00:01:16,840 There's a point system. 20 00:01:17,260 --> 00:01:21,240 There's a point system based on the good and bad things you've done in your 21 00:01:21,240 --> 00:01:24,080 life? Oh, no, no. Based on how much you forked. 22 00:01:24,660 --> 00:01:25,800 That's why it's called scoring. 23 00:01:26,360 --> 00:01:27,360 Makes sense. 24 00:01:27,480 --> 00:01:29,460 And you were a porn star. 25 00:01:29,820 --> 00:01:34,020 So you did so much forking, you just naturally ended up here in the goop 26 00:01:35,120 --> 00:01:37,580 Yep, that was me. This is true. I did. 27 00:01:38,340 --> 00:01:39,780 Not a mix -up. Right. 28 00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:41,860 You were in such titles. 29 00:01:42,430 --> 00:01:47,510 Two ducks in my ant hole, forked my tight pasta, crumb all over my face, the 30 00:01:47,510 --> 00:01:53,770 plays, big crock cream pines, big wet graping holes, tempy forkers, and gong 31 00:01:53,770 --> 00:01:54,770 bong sluts. 32 00:01:55,330 --> 00:01:59,090 Uh, yeah, cool. I definitely remember doing all of those. 33 00:01:59,490 --> 00:02:04,670 So I must have scored like... 69 million points. 34 00:02:05,610 --> 00:02:07,790 And that got you up here in the goo place. 35 00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:23,860 So this is your home. 36 00:02:24,940 --> 00:02:29,240 We figured out since you were a sex -crazed nymphomaniac your whole life on 37 00:02:29,240 --> 00:02:32,160 Earth, this was precisely where you'd want to live in the afterlife. 38 00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:36,300 Yep, this is always how I assumed heaven would look like. 39 00:02:36,700 --> 00:02:40,880 A dick -shaped cottage filled with humping clown art. 40 00:02:41,280 --> 00:02:43,320 I know, isn't it great AF? 41 00:02:44,840 --> 00:02:48,780 AF is dead millennial slang for as fork. 42 00:02:49,040 --> 00:02:50,040 I got it. 43 00:02:54,030 --> 00:02:55,030 Hi, Eleanor. 44 00:02:55,470 --> 00:02:56,710 I'm your fork buddy. 45 00:02:57,050 --> 00:02:58,050 I'm Treatie. 46 00:02:58,330 --> 00:03:00,110 Treatie. That's an unusual name. 47 00:03:00,410 --> 00:03:02,390 Yeah, it's because I have a tree size D. 48 00:03:03,070 --> 00:03:04,070 Mama likey. 49 00:03:04,230 --> 00:03:08,670 I'm a sixth ed professor, so do you want a fork now or a fork later? 50 00:03:09,030 --> 00:03:15,650 We can do... Or we can fork on the couch or on the bed or maybe on the floor. 51 00:03:16,450 --> 00:03:20,930 Or we can fork standing up and I can pile drive you. Maybe just missionary? 52 00:03:21,730 --> 00:03:23,190 Is that word offensive up here? 53 00:03:23,520 --> 00:03:25,340 Dude, are you okay? 54 00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:29,700 Yeah, I just have trouble making sexual decisions. 55 00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:35,080 Well, hey, I gotta run. I got some other forkers to meet, but, uh, toodles. 56 00:03:37,140 --> 00:03:38,320 Bye. Bye. 57 00:03:38,940 --> 00:03:40,740 So, I have to tell you something. 58 00:03:41,200 --> 00:03:42,200 Oh, okay. 59 00:03:43,580 --> 00:03:48,640 And since you're a sex ed professor, you have to give your oath of office so you 60 00:03:48,640 --> 00:03:50,280 can't tell anyone what I'm about to tell you. 61 00:03:50,740 --> 00:03:53,740 Actually... I think you're thinking of a lawyer or a priest. 62 00:03:54,040 --> 00:03:56,920 Sorry, I wasn't listening to all that because I was thinking about how this 63 00:03:56,920 --> 00:03:57,920 has way too many plot lines. 64 00:03:58,300 --> 00:04:01,440 Oh. Anyways, I'm not a porn star. 65 00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:03,080 Excuse me? 66 00:04:03,500 --> 00:04:07,380 I've only had sex with a few people in my life because I spend all my time 67 00:04:07,380 --> 00:04:11,940 masturbating. Hey, if you were a hot babe like me, you'd be forking yourself 68 00:04:11,940 --> 00:04:12,940 the time, too. 69 00:04:13,560 --> 00:04:15,460 Well, this is a sexual conundrum. 70 00:04:16,220 --> 00:04:20,300 Kenzie once said, the only natural sex actor is the one you cannot perform. 71 00:04:21,899 --> 00:04:26,420 But Spongebob Square Nuts once said, who lives in a vibrator under the sea? 72 00:04:26,820 --> 00:04:27,820 Good point. 73 00:04:28,540 --> 00:04:30,920 I want you to teach me how to be a nephomaniac. 74 00:04:31,320 --> 00:04:34,060 Like 7 -Eleven once said, big gulp. 75 00:04:34,900 --> 00:04:35,900 Hello, Tahandi. 76 00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:37,400 Hello. 77 00:04:37,700 --> 00:04:41,320 Tahandi, I'd like you to meet Jezon Uli, your fork buddy. 78 00:04:41,580 --> 00:04:44,800 He can't say anything due to his vow of silence. 79 00:04:45,740 --> 00:04:49,100 Completely dedicated to saving all his energy for sex. 80 00:04:49,870 --> 00:04:53,710 Yep, that's totally true. There definitely isn't a mix -up. I'm a sex 81 00:04:53,790 --> 00:04:56,470 dude. Aren't you taking a vow of silence, darling? 82 00:04:57,470 --> 00:04:58,470 Sorry, dog. 83 00:04:58,490 --> 00:05:01,410 But yeah, the thing that you said before. 84 00:05:03,390 --> 00:05:06,730 I'd like to welcome both of you to the goo place. 85 00:05:07,270 --> 00:05:08,049 Jerk it. 86 00:05:08,050 --> 00:05:09,480 Of co - Of course I will. 87 00:05:09,780 --> 00:05:14,140 This reminds me of the time I gave a handjob to my friend, Larry Hemsworth. 88 00:05:14,420 --> 00:05:20,280 Let me tell you, he's no Thor, but when I raised my hand, his hammer flew right 89 00:05:20,280 --> 00:05:21,280 into it. 90 00:05:22,920 --> 00:05:23,759 Jerk it! 91 00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:25,540 All right, I'm going as fast as I can. 92 00:05:26,680 --> 00:05:27,680 Jerk it. 93 00:05:27,720 --> 00:05:28,720 Hello, Michael. 94 00:05:29,500 --> 00:05:31,560 This is Jerk it. Hello. 95 00:05:32,820 --> 00:05:34,700 Jerk it, this is Tahandi. 96 00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:38,110 Hello. And this is Jadon Uly. 97 00:05:38,770 --> 00:05:39,770 Hey, homie. 98 00:05:41,330 --> 00:05:43,190 Excuse me for just a second. 99 00:05:49,790 --> 00:05:56,510 I've never felt this way before. That dumb, but super cute guy has me feeling 100 00:05:56,510 --> 00:06:00,310 super forkin' horny. 101 00:06:01,330 --> 00:06:05,210 Hi, do you mind if I act horny too? No, not at all. 102 00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:07,480 Do you mind if we act horny too? 103 00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:09,040 Not at all. 104 00:12:29,450 --> 00:12:34,170 Hey, homie. Well, this was fun. Time to start your afterlife here in the goo 105 00:12:34,170 --> 00:12:35,170 place. 106 00:12:35,190 --> 00:12:41,230 Since you are a sex -crazed monk taking a vow of silence, and you, an unselfish 107 00:12:41,230 --> 00:12:44,470 sexual philanthropist, you've both ended up in the right place. 108 00:12:45,250 --> 00:12:50,330 So, if you're doing the Humpty Hump dance like the great philosopher Shark G 109 00:12:50,330 --> 00:12:53,630 once said, it'll be your chance to do the hump. 110 00:12:54,170 --> 00:12:57,970 Oh, my, yes. It was also the tagline to the adult movie. 111 00:12:58,430 --> 00:13:02,170 The Shawskin production starring my best friend, Morgan Freeman. 112 00:13:02,490 --> 00:13:04,890 Okay, so let's get back to the lesson. 113 00:13:05,430 --> 00:13:10,370 Who can tell me who taught us about the fundamental nature of existence and 114 00:13:10,370 --> 00:13:11,870 double penetration? 115 00:13:12,870 --> 00:13:14,870 Oh, I know that one. That's easy. 116 00:13:15,270 --> 00:13:19,910 That's my boy, Piloto. Right before me and my 69 -person sex crew entered the 117 00:13:19,910 --> 00:13:24,390 Jacksonville National Orgy Competition and Alligator Go -Kart Race. We all 118 00:13:24,390 --> 00:13:28,280 forked, but it didn't matter because... The alligator that won drove off the 119 00:13:28,280 --> 00:13:32,180 track, and me and this girl ended up in the back, and that's how the first fan 120 00:13:32,180 --> 00:13:33,180 book happened. 121 00:13:34,740 --> 00:13:37,860 Holy forking fork. What the fork is this shirt? 122 00:13:38,080 --> 00:13:40,840 Is it Jacksonville Jaguars branded lube? 123 00:13:41,140 --> 00:13:42,140 On the TV? 124 00:13:42,520 --> 00:13:43,740 Lube can get everywhere. 125 00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:46,800 That's why I always wear condoms on my hands. 126 00:13:47,820 --> 00:13:48,820 No, it's not. 127 00:13:49,420 --> 00:13:54,680 I've come to deliver your mail, ma 'am. 128 00:13:55,440 --> 00:13:57,820 You haven't come yet, you sexy mailman. 129 00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:06,260 What kind of package 130 00:14:06,260 --> 00:14:09,580 are you going to bring me? Oh, I got a special delivery for you. 131 00:14:13,780 --> 00:14:14,780 Oh, don't mail me. 132 00:14:15,260 --> 00:14:16,600 Don't forget to sign for this. 133 00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:21,620 Oh, snap. You guys had a mailman costume contest about me? 134 00:14:23,100 --> 00:14:24,720 No, Jonathan. They had... 135 00:14:25,680 --> 00:14:27,660 You guys had a bad contest without me? 136 00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:30,960 But when did we? 137 00:14:33,740 --> 00:14:34,740 Knock knock. 138 00:14:35,820 --> 00:14:39,920 That's what humans say when entering a room when two of them are about to knock 139 00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:40,920 boots. 140 00:14:42,260 --> 00:14:43,260 What's wrong? 141 00:14:44,220 --> 00:14:45,220 Wait a minute. 142 00:14:45,460 --> 00:14:46,460 What? 143 00:14:46,980 --> 00:14:51,000 Wait just a minute, you lying sack of shirt mother forker. 144 00:14:51,260 --> 00:14:52,300 I get it now. 145 00:14:52,540 --> 00:14:54,420 This isn't really the good place. 146 00:14:55,950 --> 00:14:56,950 It isn't? 147 00:14:57,610 --> 00:15:01,230 Nope, nerd. It isn't. What makes you say that, Eleanor? 148 00:15:02,130 --> 00:15:03,950 Well, there are a few clues. 149 00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:09,330 First, the sex tape I must have left as a clue for myself or something for me to 150 00:15:09,330 --> 00:15:13,350 run my pasta to later. If this was a goo place, I wouldn't have left a VHS of 151 00:15:13,350 --> 00:15:15,830 myself having sex. I would have just uploaded it to Pornhub. 152 00:15:16,550 --> 00:15:19,450 And I saw fire demons humming outside. 153 00:15:22,050 --> 00:15:23,050 Third, 154 00:15:23,210 --> 00:15:24,870 humping clowns isn't really my fetish. 155 00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:29,860 Fourth, I met a gay porn star by the name of Jeremy Bearamy, and he said that 156 00:15:29,860 --> 00:15:30,860 controlled time. 157 00:15:31,280 --> 00:15:34,080 Fifth, there was a guy with wind chimes instead of a penis. 158 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:36,000 Hi, guys! 159 00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:41,000 And finally, I got chased by a flying butt plug earlier. 160 00:15:41,300 --> 00:15:44,760 And every human knows that butt plugs never glide that smoothly. 161 00:15:45,140 --> 00:15:47,120 Unless they're covered in lube. 162 00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:49,680 Jacksonville Jaguars lube? 163 00:15:51,060 --> 00:15:52,060 Eleanor? 164 00:15:52,760 --> 00:15:54,060 Dick Tracy called. 165 00:15:54,650 --> 00:15:57,790 He'd like his first name back, but apparently you're busy being it. 166 00:15:59,590 --> 00:16:02,190 Well, still working on that comeback. 167 00:16:02,690 --> 00:16:03,690 But bravo! 168 00:16:03,970 --> 00:16:04,970 Figured it out. 169 00:16:05,630 --> 00:16:06,630 It's all true. 170 00:16:10,310 --> 00:16:13,190 You're in the bed place, not the goo place. 171 00:16:13,510 --> 00:16:15,090 This is all an experiment. 172 00:16:15,550 --> 00:16:19,670 You're not in the goo place. You're in the bed place. 173 00:16:20,030 --> 00:16:23,870 You're in a part of the goo place made to look like the bed place. 174 00:16:24,490 --> 00:16:28,090 We were sick of torturing people the old -fashioned way. 175 00:16:28,470 --> 00:16:32,530 By having demons describe things being shoved in their urethras. 176 00:16:33,290 --> 00:16:36,710 Having them picture their mothers just when they're about to orgasm. 177 00:16:37,630 --> 00:16:42,670 But he figured it all out, so my experiment has failed. 178 00:16:43,570 --> 00:16:48,790 Wait, what if we do something that has so many points that we can prove that we 179 00:16:48,790 --> 00:16:52,050 changed? Well, how would that change things? 180 00:16:52,780 --> 00:16:55,640 Like if we were referencing future episodes. 181 00:16:56,380 --> 00:16:57,680 What do you have in mind? 182 00:16:59,040 --> 00:17:05,880 Like... The judge might just be fond of 183 00:17:05,880 --> 00:17:07,099 that. What judge? 184 00:17:07,720 --> 00:17:09,260 It's not important. 185 00:17:10,099 --> 00:17:11,619 Let's give it a shot. 186 00:17:41,830 --> 00:17:44,770 I took this one for the whole time. Oh, thank you. 187 00:18:27,639 --> 00:18:29,560 Thank you, 188 00:18:37,780 --> 00:18:38,780 Pastor. 189 00:19:19,100 --> 00:19:20,100 So good. 190 00:19:29,930 --> 00:19:31,310 It's hard to sleep like this. 191 00:20:21,780 --> 00:20:22,780 It's okay. 192 00:21:19,450 --> 00:21:20,450 Come on, Sandra. 193 00:21:44,650 --> 00:21:45,650 Thank you. 194 00:24:02,399 --> 00:24:04,980 Aw, how does that chick feel, Daddy? 195 00:25:18,710 --> 00:25:19,890 Oh, who knew? 196 00:26:05,870 --> 00:26:07,110 Oh, let me get it for you, son. 197 00:26:53,660 --> 00:26:55,620 I wonder if I can write my thesis on this. 198 00:28:01,130 --> 00:28:02,130 Thank you. 199 00:29:16,709 --> 00:29:18,110 Oh, my God. 200 00:29:45,570 --> 00:29:46,570 Oh, man. 201 00:30:07,480 --> 00:30:08,480 Perfect. 202 00:30:09,400 --> 00:30:11,320 You know your geometry. 203 00:30:11,580 --> 00:30:12,580 Your physics. 204 00:30:14,940 --> 00:30:16,780 I'm such a suckin' hot nerd. 205 00:30:18,680 --> 00:30:22,980 This is true. The sexology. 206 00:31:15,500 --> 00:31:16,500 Thank you for having me. 207 00:32:11,050 --> 00:32:12,710 You're gonna get cut more in time. 208 00:33:55,909 --> 00:33:57,350 Thank you. 209 00:34:34,960 --> 00:34:36,360 No. No. 210 00:35:16,569 --> 00:35:17,970 Okay. 211 00:36:11,180 --> 00:36:12,180 Oh 212 00:36:48,230 --> 00:36:49,230 Yeah. 213 00:37:24,880 --> 00:37:25,859 Please come on me. 214 00:37:25,860 --> 00:37:26,860 Please. 215 00:37:29,020 --> 00:37:30,020 Fuck you. 216 00:37:31,800 --> 00:37:32,800 Fuck you. 217 00:38:20,020 --> 00:38:22,820 Oh fuck. 218 00:38:39,920 --> 00:38:41,580 Oh, yeah. Oh. 219 00:38:42,080 --> 00:38:43,080 Oh. 220 00:38:43,800 --> 00:38:47,640 Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 221 00:38:47,900 --> 00:38:48,900 Oh. 222 00:38:49,920 --> 00:38:50,920 Oh. 223 00:38:51,800 --> 00:38:52,800 Oh. 224 00:38:54,780 --> 00:38:56,560 Oh. Oh. 225 00:38:57,840 --> 00:38:58,840 Oh. Oh. 226 00:38:59,140 --> 00:39:00,140 Oh. Oh. 227 00:39:00,320 --> 00:39:01,700 Oh. Oh. 228 00:39:03,040 --> 00:39:04,620 Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. 229 00:39:05,040 --> 00:39:06,040 Oh. Oh. 230 00:39:06,100 --> 00:39:07,100 Oh. 231 00:39:10,570 --> 00:39:11,570 Well, you're very welcome. 232 00:39:16,550 --> 00:39:21,790 Too bad none of you will remember any of this. 16282