Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,169 --> 00:00:07,030
There she is, my little girl skipping
two grades, starting her first day of
2
00:00:07,030 --> 00:00:08,250
school. Say genius.
3
00:00:09,510 --> 00:00:11,350
Stop it, honey. You're embarrassing her.
4
00:00:11,910 --> 00:00:13,190
One more time for the video camera.
5
00:00:14,710 --> 00:00:16,890
All right, say, I got my brains from my
father.
6
00:00:19,210 --> 00:00:20,730
Hey, girls, how about a ride to school?
7
00:00:21,150 --> 00:00:22,910
Oh, my God, that's so not cool.
8
00:00:23,890 --> 00:00:25,690
So that's a no?
9
00:00:27,290 --> 00:00:29,410
Well, at least give me a hug before you
go.
10
00:00:31,710 --> 00:00:33,830
Mom, please don't drip mascara on my new
backpack.
11
00:00:35,090 --> 00:00:36,990
Sorry. Have a great day.
12
00:00:37,610 --> 00:00:38,830
Call me if you need me, okay?
13
00:00:39,630 --> 00:00:40,970
You take care of your little sister.
14
00:00:41,230 --> 00:00:41,989
You hear me?
15
00:00:41,990 --> 00:00:44,590
Oh, don't worry, Mom. I'll take care of
my baby sis.
16
00:00:45,170 --> 00:00:46,170
Come on, kiddo.
17
00:00:50,210 --> 00:00:54,050
Okay, let's get this straight. High
school is my domain. We were never meant
18
00:00:54,050 --> 00:00:58,370
be there at the same time, which means
you are a guest star in my movie, and I
19
00:00:58,370 --> 00:00:59,750
don't want us to have any scenes
together.
20
00:01:00,280 --> 00:01:01,280
Got it?
21
00:01:03,560 --> 00:01:06,880
Fine. I don't want to be in your
straight -to -video life anyway.
22
00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:10,600
Oh.
23
00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:13,480
I know it's hard letting go.
24
00:01:14,600 --> 00:01:16,820
Are you sure about not having another
baby?
25
00:01:17,220 --> 00:01:19,580
Yeah. Whose doll is this?
26
00:01:19,840 --> 00:01:20,840
Oh, that's mine.
27
00:01:22,980 --> 00:01:24,520
Are you sure you're sure?
28
00:01:25,270 --> 00:01:29,610
This is an electronic baby for the
pregnancy prevention program at the high
29
00:01:29,610 --> 00:01:32,730
school. I volunteered to give a little
talk to the kids tomorrow.
30
00:01:34,350 --> 00:01:37,390
Hey, how about a little page four this
weekend?
31
00:01:39,530 --> 00:01:42,170
We're still going away, right? I'm just
waiting to hear back from the sitter.
32
00:01:43,290 --> 00:01:44,410
What do you need a sitter for?
33
00:01:44,850 --> 00:01:46,610
We told you, we're going away this
weekend.
34
00:01:46,850 --> 00:01:47,870
But I don't want a babysitter.
35
00:01:49,250 --> 00:01:51,170
They always side with the kids over me.
36
00:01:52,710 --> 00:01:54,070
Why can't I babysit?
37
00:01:54,270 --> 00:01:58,330
Because you're irresponsible,
unreliable, and we don't trust you.
38
00:01:59,470 --> 00:02:00,610
What does that even mean?
39
00:02:06,510 --> 00:02:07,590
Hope, what do you think?
40
00:02:08,250 --> 00:02:13,330
Well, Faith, you haven't been
demonstrating a lot of maturity.
41
00:02:13,870 --> 00:02:14,870
Oh, yeah?
42
00:02:14,910 --> 00:02:16,230
Who's the one playing with dough?
43
00:02:18,710 --> 00:02:20,330
This is an electronic baby.
44
00:02:21,010 --> 00:02:23,650
It's to show teenagers how hard it is to
be a mother.
45
00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:25,920
Honey, why don't you just show them your
stretch marks?
46
00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:38,520
For the same reason we don't show
pictures of your old nose.
47
00:02:41,500 --> 00:02:43,320
Look, there's a computer inside.
48
00:02:43,880 --> 00:02:48,780
It makes the baby poop, pee, cry, and
demand your undivided attention, just
49
00:02:48,780 --> 00:02:51,540
a real baby. Oh, just like a full -grown
you, Faith.
50
00:02:55,560 --> 00:02:58,300
Well, when these things grow up one day
and take over the world, I'd like to go
51
00:02:58,300 --> 00:03:00,460
on record as saying I was against it.
52
00:03:02,120 --> 00:03:03,120
You know what, Faith?
53
00:03:03,880 --> 00:03:06,000
Why don't you try it? Taking over the
world?
54
00:03:06,460 --> 00:03:07,460
Already happening.
55
00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:12,520
No, the electronic baby. You should see
how you'd be as a parent.
56
00:03:12,740 --> 00:03:16,200
Oh, I think we know how she'd be as a
parent. Remember when she lost Justin at
57
00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:17,200
the state fair?
58
00:03:17,320 --> 00:03:19,840
Hey, those carnies taught that kid to
juggle.
59
00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:22,940
And he still hears from the lobster boy.
60
00:03:26,680 --> 00:03:27,679
Faith it, Faith.
61
00:03:27,680 --> 00:03:30,120
You don't have what it takes to be a
mother.
62
00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:31,360
Oh, yes? Yeah.
63
00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:32,800
Well, how about this?
64
00:03:33,380 --> 00:03:37,580
I prove to you that I can take care of
this baby, and you let me babysit your
65
00:03:37,580 --> 00:03:39,100
kids. Faith, I don't think... Deal.
66
00:03:41,340 --> 00:03:43,980
I want to be the best mother any rubber
baby ever had.
67
00:04:26,280 --> 00:04:30,180
All the seats are taken. Can I sit here?
Oh, I'm sorry. This table has a minimum
68
00:04:30,180 --> 00:04:31,180
height requirement.
69
00:04:32,500 --> 00:04:34,340
But apparently, no minimum IQ.
70
00:04:39,180 --> 00:04:42,040
Ooh, here comes that smart boy that you
have the hots for.
71
00:04:42,520 --> 00:04:44,020
That's why I don't have the hots for
him.
72
00:04:48,880 --> 00:04:49,880
Hey.
73
00:04:51,280 --> 00:04:52,660
Been the first day of high school gone.
74
00:04:54,419 --> 00:04:56,320
I've only been called Annie three times.
75
00:05:00,340 --> 00:05:01,640
Want to come sit with me and my friends?
76
00:05:02,140 --> 00:05:03,140
Sure.
77
00:05:04,440 --> 00:05:08,120
You know, we really should go say hi to
your sister. I mean, it is her first
78
00:05:08,120 --> 00:05:09,120
day.
79
00:05:37,680 --> 00:05:38,680
little high school girl.
80
00:05:38,900 --> 00:05:40,060
How was your first day?
81
00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:41,920
Scary. Intense.
82
00:05:42,480 --> 00:05:43,820
Overwhelming. Fantastic.
83
00:05:44,060 --> 00:05:45,420
It was totally incredible.
84
00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:46,919
Poor thing.
85
00:05:46,920 --> 00:05:47,920
Let me hold you.
86
00:05:54,200 --> 00:05:56,740
Oh, hello. I'm sorry. Sydney's not home
yet.
87
00:05:57,000 --> 00:05:58,320
Oh, I'm here for Haley.
88
00:05:59,620 --> 00:06:02,220
Haley, there's a much older boy here for
you.
89
00:06:03,180 --> 00:06:05,720
Mom, this is Henry, Edwin's brother.
90
00:06:06,140 --> 00:06:08,020
She offered to help get me up to speed
in geometry.
91
00:06:08,400 --> 00:06:09,400
Oh.
92
00:06:09,480 --> 00:06:10,980
Should I bring in your favorite snack?
93
00:06:11,640 --> 00:06:12,900
Soy nut butter on rice cake?
94
00:06:13,380 --> 00:06:15,960
No, thanks. I picked up some chips and
soda on the walk home.
95
00:06:16,720 --> 00:06:17,720
That's the dining room.
96
00:06:20,320 --> 00:06:21,320
I've lost her.
97
00:06:25,500 --> 00:06:26,500
Amber said what?
98
00:06:29,540 --> 00:06:30,519
You know what?
99
00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:33,780
Hold on a second. This new thong I
bought is giving me a total wedgie. I
100
00:06:33,780 --> 00:06:34,780
I'm going to have to return it.
101
00:06:35,530 --> 00:06:37,190
Well, yeah, that's why I left the tags
on.
102
00:06:37,930 --> 00:06:38,930
You know what?
103
00:06:38,990 --> 00:06:39,990
I'm taking it off for good.
104
00:06:45,530 --> 00:06:46,530
Whew!
105
00:06:46,610 --> 00:06:47,610
That's a relief.
106
00:07:25,840 --> 00:07:28,240
I've been up all night. It won't stop
crying.
107
00:07:28,680 --> 00:07:32,520
Maybe you're right. Maybe I can't be a
mother. Maybe I should just have a
108
00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:33,920
vasectomy and be done with it.
109
00:07:36,220 --> 00:07:39,260
Faith, you're having a perfectly natural
reaction.
110
00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:41,980
Every mother feels like this at some
point.
111
00:07:43,020 --> 00:07:46,960
You know, I used to think that you
looked really bold for your age.
112
00:07:47,420 --> 00:07:50,440
But considering you've done this three
times, I think you look great.
113
00:07:57,610 --> 00:08:03,450
a compliment what's a matter little guy
it's okay
114
00:08:03,450 --> 00:08:09,950
night is dark close your eyes before
115
00:08:09,950 --> 00:08:16,930
the boogeyman gets you eat your nose
nibble your toes stop
116
00:08:16,930 --> 00:08:21,570
it hope you're scaring me what do you
mean that's the same song mom used to
117
00:08:21,570 --> 00:08:22,570
to us when we're little
118
00:08:30,250 --> 00:08:33,250
Coming to take you to dreamland.
119
00:08:35,110 --> 00:08:37,490
He stopped crying.
120
00:08:39,370 --> 00:08:40,370
Mama.
121
00:08:45,050 --> 00:08:48,190
Did you hear that? His first word.
122
00:08:48,750 --> 00:08:50,510
And it was mama.
123
00:08:52,890 --> 00:08:54,350
What are you doing?
124
00:08:56,550 --> 00:08:58,230
Taking care of my baby.
125
00:09:04,080 --> 00:09:05,080
No, not really.
126
00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:07,720
Come on!
127
00:09:09,620 --> 00:09:10,940
Support the neck.
128
00:09:17,520 --> 00:09:18,520
Did you hear that?
129
00:09:49,740 --> 00:09:51,400
And Mama didn't think she could love you
anymore.
130
00:10:42,160 --> 00:10:43,580
is a delicate subject.
131
00:10:45,420 --> 00:10:49,920
Which is why I brought along a couple of
friends to help make it cool.
132
00:10:51,460 --> 00:10:56,580
Abby Abstinence and Peter Peer Pressure.
133
00:11:03,100 --> 00:11:04,300
Come on, Abby.
134
00:11:04,860 --> 00:11:06,160
Let's go all the way.
135
00:11:12,140 --> 00:11:13,140
Why can't we just cuddle?
136
00:11:16,700 --> 00:11:21,100
Well, my friend Bobby Braggart went all
the way with his girlfriend.
137
00:11:22,400 --> 00:11:23,400
Yeah.
138
00:11:27,800 --> 00:11:32,620
Hey, kids.
139
00:11:33,060 --> 00:11:34,180
Look who's here.
140
00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:37,020
Polly Pregnant.
141
00:11:40,460 --> 00:11:41,860
Donnie Dropout.
142
00:11:57,260 --> 00:11:58,260
thing to do.
143
00:11:58,480 --> 00:12:01,140
Haley, I don't want you to study with
Henry anymore.
144
00:12:01,680 --> 00:12:03,040
Henry didn't tell everybody.
145
00:12:04,820 --> 00:12:05,820
I did.
146
00:12:06,180 --> 00:12:08,140
What? Why would you do that?
147
00:12:08,460 --> 00:12:10,780
Because he's been a total jerk to me at
school.
148
00:12:11,080 --> 00:12:14,800
I haven't been a jerk. I just haven't
been my usual loving self.
149
00:12:17,100 --> 00:12:18,500
Yeah, right.
150
00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:23,120
All he is is mean to me. And now you are
too. Congratulations.
151
00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:25,660
Why don't you both go to your room?
152
00:12:29,390 --> 00:12:32,750
People let me tell you about my best
friend.
153
00:12:33,710 --> 00:12:34,810
You're in a good mood.
154
00:12:35,290 --> 00:12:38,690
Oh, Hope. I had the most wonderful day.
155
00:12:39,010 --> 00:12:43,330
I'm so glad you talked me into doing
this mother thing. You can't imagine how
156
00:12:43,330 --> 00:12:44,330
feels.
157
00:12:45,170 --> 00:12:48,870
I mean, I know he's just a doll, but
look at him.
158
00:12:49,450 --> 00:12:50,850
Doesn't he almost seem real?
159
00:12:57,450 --> 00:12:58,450
I wish he was.
160
00:12:59,790 --> 00:13:03,090
Oh, my God!
161
00:13:03,330 --> 00:13:04,330
Hope!
162
00:13:04,870 --> 00:13:05,870
It's a miracle!
163
00:13:11,450 --> 00:13:13,910
Either that or I took the wrong stroller
from the park.
164
00:13:14,130 --> 00:13:15,510
Faith! You're right.
165
00:13:15,970 --> 00:13:16,970
That's crazy.
166
00:13:29,100 --> 00:13:30,580
You know this is considered kidnapping.
167
00:13:30,820 --> 00:13:31,820
We could go to jail.
168
00:13:32,360 --> 00:13:33,900
Look, it was an honest mistake.
169
00:13:34,120 --> 00:13:36,860
Look, he's got the same stroller. That's
got to be the one.
170
00:13:37,220 --> 00:13:40,040
All right, I'll distract him. You make
the switch.
171
00:13:49,820 --> 00:13:50,820
Penny for your thoughts.
172
00:13:51,540 --> 00:13:52,540
Mine are dirty.
173
00:14:16,510 --> 00:14:17,510
Single.
174
00:14:17,710 --> 00:14:19,310
Divorced. Separated gay.
175
00:14:19,690 --> 00:14:21,050
I can work with all of it.
176
00:14:22,350 --> 00:14:24,890
Married. And a little creeped out.
177
00:14:25,390 --> 00:14:26,390
So gay then?
178
00:14:27,470 --> 00:14:30,290
Alex, don't put that in your mouth. That
is not chocolate.
179
00:14:37,090 --> 00:14:38,230
Got my baby back.
180
00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:51,500
wants me to have a real baby. Somebody
grab her. She's taking my baby. Wait,
181
00:14:51,500 --> 00:14:53,680
wait, wait. I can explain. It was a
mistake.
182
00:14:53,980 --> 00:14:57,360
I did not mean to take your baby, just
like I didn't mean to take your baby
183
00:14:57,360 --> 00:15:00,260
I took it. The only baby I ever wanted
was my own baby.
184
00:15:00,920 --> 00:15:01,920
This one.
185
00:15:02,520 --> 00:15:03,520
Right here.
186
00:15:03,660 --> 00:15:06,640
She's crazy. I'll call the police. Don't
let her get away.
187
00:15:06,940 --> 00:15:07,679
Wait, wait.
188
00:15:07,680 --> 00:15:12,100
They can take me, but they'll never take
my baby.
189
00:15:48,490 --> 00:15:49,690
I think it's still under warranty.
190
00:16:05,990 --> 00:16:09,450
You know, when Haley outgrows you, I
have a nine -year -old brother you can
191
00:16:09,450 --> 00:16:10,450
out with.
192
00:16:12,890 --> 00:16:14,970
Actually, I was here to see you.
193
00:16:15,670 --> 00:16:17,710
I was wondering if you'd like to go see
a movie with me.
194
00:16:18,120 --> 00:16:19,180
Why would I want to do that?
195
00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:21,880
Okay, forget it.
196
00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:23,480
What movie?
197
00:16:24,180 --> 00:16:26,220
Oh, it's a documentary about Wedgie
Jackson.
198
00:16:29,500 --> 00:16:30,820
Come on, I couldn't help myself.
199
00:16:32,060 --> 00:16:33,760
I guess they don't have anything better
to do.
200
00:16:34,780 --> 00:16:35,780
I'll go get my purse.
201
00:16:38,680 --> 00:16:39,700
Oh, hi, Henry.
202
00:16:42,940 --> 00:16:44,480
Thanks for doing this for me.
203
00:16:44,740 --> 00:16:47,600
No problem, but are you sure she's going
to crush on me?
204
00:16:47,950 --> 00:16:49,010
You're a boy, aren't you?
205
00:16:51,370 --> 00:16:53,910
Just don't tell her I asked you to take
her out.
206
00:16:56,790 --> 00:16:58,290
Okay, ready to go.
207
00:16:58,510 --> 00:16:59,510
Cool.
208
00:16:59,750 --> 00:17:01,090
After you. Thank you.
209
00:17:03,530 --> 00:17:06,369
You are so dead. I am nobody's pity
date.
210
00:17:06,730 --> 00:17:08,550
I was trying to help you.
211
00:17:08,790 --> 00:17:12,010
I don't think so. I think you were
trying to humiliate me again.
212
00:17:12,630 --> 00:17:15,210
Fine. Forget it. You forget it.
213
00:17:26,760 --> 00:17:30,260
with her and not got to share high
school too you know sydney i felt the
214
00:17:30,260 --> 00:17:35,040
way when your mom came to high school
with me i was there first yeah but i put
215
00:17:35,040 --> 00:17:41,980
you on the map he doesn't share anything
with me i feel like she hates me i
216
00:17:41,980 --> 00:17:48,780
do you do not sydney what is wrong with
you two you are sisters do you
217
00:17:48,780 --> 00:17:52,360
hear your mother and me arguing all the
time hey i don't think they hope
218
00:17:56,240 --> 00:17:57,680
I'm tired of listening to you two fight.
219
00:17:58,120 --> 00:18:01,480
Your sister is the best friend you will
ever have.
220
00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:05,020
You need to be good to each other.
Respect each other's feelings.
221
00:18:05,420 --> 00:18:08,160
And I feel. What part of Zip -It do you
not understand?
222
00:18:09,740 --> 00:18:14,140
Now, Haley, Sydney, I want you to hug
each other and say you're sorry.
223
00:18:14,380 --> 00:18:15,319
Do we have to?
224
00:18:15,320 --> 00:18:16,320
Do it!
225
00:18:23,020 --> 00:18:24,020
I'm sorry.
226
00:18:24,480 --> 00:18:25,480
Me too.
227
00:18:27,090 --> 00:18:28,090
All right.
228
00:18:28,490 --> 00:18:31,010
Now, I want you two to spend some
quality time together.
229
00:18:31,770 --> 00:18:32,950
Go wash my car.
230
00:18:35,850 --> 00:18:38,990
There's some blood on the grill. Doesn't
matter how it got there. Just get it
231
00:18:38,990 --> 00:18:39,990
off.
232
00:18:45,830 --> 00:18:47,010
Now, what did you want to say, sweetie?
233
00:18:47,730 --> 00:18:52,670
Just that... Well, I think you handled
that pretty well.
234
00:18:54,630 --> 00:18:55,630
I'm impressed.
235
00:18:56,189 --> 00:18:58,050
Impressed enough to let me take care of
the kids?
236
00:18:58,890 --> 00:19:03,030
No, but perhaps impressed enough to
maybe possibly consider discussing the
237
00:19:03,030 --> 00:19:06,290
slight chance of letting you take care
of the kids.
238
00:19:06,530 --> 00:19:08,630
Whoa, whoa, whoa. I didn't say I
definitely wanted to.
239
00:19:10,990 --> 00:19:12,150
They are a handful.
240
00:19:13,070 --> 00:19:14,270
Maybe you should just get a sitter.
241
00:19:16,010 --> 00:19:17,170
You know what I did realize?
242
00:19:18,390 --> 00:19:19,710
That I'm glad I did this.
243
00:19:20,770 --> 00:19:22,650
Because I really do want to be a mother
someday.
244
00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:26,160
You hear that, Hope?
245
00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:29,260
What? It's my biological clock.
246
00:19:32,480 --> 00:19:33,480
Finally ticking.
247
00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:38,140
You know, I always thought I had all the
time in the world.
248
00:19:38,900 --> 00:19:39,900
And I'm 34.
249
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:42,040
I don't even have a boyfriend.
250
00:19:43,320 --> 00:19:45,720
What if the opportunity just passes me
by?
251
00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:48,040
It won't.
252
00:19:49,160 --> 00:19:51,420
I just hope I'm half as good a mother as
you.
253
00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:54,320
You're going to be a great mother.
254
00:19:56,899 --> 00:19:58,540
Really? Anything's possible.
255
00:20:03,300 --> 00:20:04,600
You're my best friend.
256
00:20:08,380 --> 00:20:10,360
Oh, nice job, Faith.
257
00:20:17,140 --> 00:20:18,140
Yeah.
258
00:20:18,680 --> 00:20:23,080
Once again, you've proven yourself to be
completely incapable of doing anything
259
00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:24,080
right.
260
00:20:24,660 --> 00:20:30,100
So, When the sitter tells you it's
bedtime, I expect you to mind her. When
261
00:20:30,100 --> 00:20:31,100
the...
18533
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof