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Hey, sweetie.
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Mwah.
3
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Did you just give me an air kiss?
4
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Oh, don't be silly. I'm just busy.
5
00:00:13,900 --> 00:00:14,900
Uh -huh.
6
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So you're not still upset about my hole?
Instead of having another baby, why
7
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don't you learn the piano?
8
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Loving suggestion?
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Of course not.
10
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And to prove it, I wrote you a little
song.
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Oh.
12
00:00:45,680 --> 00:00:50,660
Then that's really okay, B. I won't
force the issue.
13
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Sorry I didn't kiss you.
14
00:01:02,100 --> 00:01:04,300
Wow, you're getting good.
15
00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:23,820
Look at this, Hope. Isn't this the
cutest, wittest, wittle -baiting, sooty,
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00:01:23,820 --> 00:01:25,360
witty you ever saw in your little life?
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Doesn't it make you want to have your
own little baby, baby?
18
00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:33,540
Why would I want a baby when I can play
the piano?
19
00:01:37,280 --> 00:01:38,680
She's getting pretty darn good.
20
00:01:39,960 --> 00:01:43,240
Oh, Mandy, I'm glad you're here. I just
made all the arrangements.
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We're getting married in two weeks at
City Hall.
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00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:48,000
City Hall?
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00:01:49,770 --> 00:01:51,070
That's like a fairy tale.
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00:01:52,970 --> 00:01:55,810
So, Mandy, will your boyfriend, the
wrestler, be attending?
25
00:01:56,510 --> 00:01:57,530
What was his name?
26
00:01:58,230 --> 00:01:59,230
Strapless?
27
00:02:00,830 --> 00:02:06,310
Stratus. Ex -boyfriend, Hope. And he may
be attending as my plus one.
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00:02:08,009 --> 00:02:11,630
Look, Stratus is sweet, but Jack's the
father of this baby.
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00:02:11,870 --> 00:02:13,650
And his proposal was so romantic.
30
00:02:14,210 --> 00:02:16,730
No guy has ever said such nice things to
me.
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00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:23,160
Hey, maybe we should name the baby
Tinkle.
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00:02:24,460 --> 00:02:26,840
Jack, say what they think of the other
baby names we came up with at lunch
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today.
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Pickle, Mayo, Knish, Reuben.
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We went to a deli.
36
00:02:42,760 --> 00:02:46,500
Dad, I can't believe you're really going
to go through with this.
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I know that you don't approve of my
marrying Mandy, but at least you could
38
00:02:51,300 --> 00:02:52,620
pretend to be supportive.
39
00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:55,020
Yeah, like we did when you married
Charlie.
40
00:02:56,320 --> 00:02:58,360
But you're in love with another woman.
41
00:02:58,860 --> 00:03:00,460
You and Ann were inseparable.
42
00:03:00,860 --> 00:03:03,080
You were even thinking of moving here to
be near her.
43
00:03:03,520 --> 00:03:06,980
Why would you want to give that up for a
woman who wants to name her child after
44
00:03:06,980 --> 00:03:07,980
an open -faced sandwich?
45
00:03:09,640 --> 00:03:12,980
In Mandy's defense, Kanisha's a real
name.
46
00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:19,500
My father ran out on my mother.
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I don't want that for my son.
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00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:25,340
Yeah, but without a paternity test,
you... I don't need a paternity test.
49
00:03:25,640 --> 00:03:29,660
If Mandy says the baby is mine, then I
believe her. Why would she lie to me?
50
00:03:29,660 --> 00:03:31,140
wasn't going to tell me in the first
place.
51
00:03:31,460 --> 00:03:33,080
All right, I've got it.
52
00:03:33,620 --> 00:03:36,120
What if we name the baby Flush?
53
00:03:38,520 --> 00:03:39,520
Flush Fairfield.
54
00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:42,280
I like it. Sounds Australian.
55
00:03:42,660 --> 00:03:45,000
Put another shrimp on the barbie, Flush.
56
00:03:47,850 --> 00:03:48,850
What do you think?
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00:03:49,870 --> 00:03:51,930
I think I'd like to respond in song.
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00:03:54,770 --> 00:04:01,090
If you want to marry Mandy,
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00:04:01,270 --> 00:04:04,270
I think that's just fine and dandy.
60
00:04:05,410 --> 00:04:11,650
Can't wait to meet my brother, Flush,
whose mother is a big old lush.
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00:04:12,510 --> 00:04:13,810
Lush rhymes with flush.
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00:05:08,450 --> 00:05:10,050
Sweeter than the old geezer speech.
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To the geese!
64
00:05:13,510 --> 00:05:14,510
Look,
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00:05:14,930 --> 00:05:17,430
just two more presents and everyone can
go home.
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00:05:20,950 --> 00:05:21,950
Ann,
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00:05:25,810 --> 00:05:26,990
what a nice surprise.
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00:05:27,690 --> 00:05:32,430
Mandy invited me, but I can't stay long.
I'm going to my cabin for the weekend.
69
00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:34,750
Hi, Ann.
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00:05:37,550 --> 00:05:40,670
I just want you to know how sorry I am
about all of this.
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00:05:40,930 --> 00:05:44,770
Oh, look, you didn't know Mandy was
pregnant when we started seeing each
72
00:05:44,810 --> 00:05:46,990
and you certainly didn't know she was my
patient.
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00:05:47,270 --> 00:05:49,170
So there's nothing to be sorry for.
74
00:05:49,810 --> 00:05:51,530
It just wasn't meant to be.
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00:05:52,670 --> 00:05:54,470
Yeah, I guess not.
76
00:05:57,430 --> 00:06:00,130
Look at them.
77
00:06:00,750 --> 00:06:03,870
They're just crazy about each other. I
can't believe he's going to just throw
78
00:06:03,870 --> 00:06:04,870
that all away.
79
00:06:05,400 --> 00:06:07,140
Bitterness is not flattering on you,
Hope.
80
00:06:08,780 --> 00:06:12,680
And really, what's more important? Who
Dad marries or your relationship with
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00:06:12,680 --> 00:06:14,180
Dad? You're right.
82
00:06:14,400 --> 00:06:15,400
There you go.
83
00:06:17,160 --> 00:06:20,360
Well, I love you too, Stratus, but I
need a commitment.
84
00:06:21,280 --> 00:06:25,000
Look, if you don't propose to me in the
next two weeks, I marry Jack.
85
00:06:26,380 --> 00:06:29,040
Of course we'll still have sex, but not
every week.
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00:06:30,080 --> 00:06:31,280
I'm not a cheater.
87
00:06:35,630 --> 00:06:39,070
I just overheard Manny on the phone.
She's only using Dad to get Stratus to
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00:06:39,070 --> 00:06:40,630
marry her. We have to do something.
89
00:06:41,930 --> 00:06:43,830
All right. I love you, too, baby.
90
00:06:44,170 --> 00:06:46,230
Bye. Who are you on the phone with?
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00:06:47,710 --> 00:06:49,030
Jean -Pierre, my hairdresser.
92
00:06:49,250 --> 00:06:52,470
Oh, did you go blonder? A little bit. I
thought so. I love it. Faith!
93
00:06:52,870 --> 00:06:55,530
Right. Who were you on the phone with
before that, wench bag?
94
00:06:57,230 --> 00:07:01,530
I think what Faith is expressing is some
concern that you're just using our
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00:07:01,530 --> 00:07:04,270
father to try to get your ex -boyfriend
to marry you.
96
00:07:04,620 --> 00:07:05,599
What's going on here?
97
00:07:05,600 --> 00:07:07,140
Oh, she's been screaming at me.
98
00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:08,760
What? That's not true.
99
00:07:09,020 --> 00:07:10,020
Me either. She goes again.
100
00:07:10,420 --> 00:07:13,680
I was just trying to break up her
marriage, and she's upsetting her
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child.
102
00:07:16,580 --> 00:07:17,720
All right, Hope, that's it.
103
00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:19,080
But she's... Enough.
104
00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:23,240
I don't want to hear it. I asked you to
respect my decisions, but all you do is
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00:07:23,240 --> 00:07:24,240
meddle in my business.
106
00:07:24,440 --> 00:07:25,440
Well, it wasn't just me.
107
00:07:25,520 --> 00:07:26,740
Faith is standing here, too.
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00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:27,960
Hope, you're the oldest.
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00:07:28,500 --> 00:07:31,980
Faith looks up to you. All you do is get
these crazy ideas and drag your sister
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00:07:31,980 --> 00:07:32,959
along with you.
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00:07:32,960 --> 00:07:38,790
Kicking and... screaming me ever since
we were little it's so hard being the
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good one hope you're not going to
sabotage this wedding mandy
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00:07:45,550 --> 00:07:49,010
what are we waiting for let's get
married tomorrow
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and hope
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00:07:59,320 --> 00:08:03,220
If you meddle in this in any way, you
will not be a part of this baby's life
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00:08:03,220 --> 00:08:04,580
mine. Do you understand?
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Perfectly.
118
00:08:08,960 --> 00:08:10,900
Nice bluff, Hope. Now, what's our plan?
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00:08:11,180 --> 00:08:12,500
Kidnapping? Brainwashing?
120
00:08:13,220 --> 00:08:14,220
Murder.
121
00:08:16,680 --> 00:08:17,920
There is no plan.
122
00:08:18,760 --> 00:08:22,600
Dad is marrying Mandy, and we're just
going to have to accept it.
123
00:08:24,660 --> 00:08:25,660
Oh.
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00:08:26,020 --> 00:08:27,020
Hey, honey.
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00:08:27,550 --> 00:08:32,630
I've been thinking about it, and it was
really insensitive of me to assume that
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00:08:32,630 --> 00:08:36,150
a piano could take the place of us
having another baby.
127
00:08:36,370 --> 00:08:42,230
I mean, you can't hug and kiss a piano.
You can't put it in your lap and laugh
128
00:08:42,230 --> 00:08:43,950
at all the cute little things it does.
129
00:08:45,010 --> 00:08:47,570
What you need is something to love.
130
00:09:07,720 --> 00:09:11,000
You better clean that up, seeing as he
just peed on your bed.
131
00:09:13,380 --> 00:09:14,380
I'm sorry.
132
00:09:15,080 --> 00:09:16,640
I really thought a dog would do it.
133
00:09:19,780 --> 00:09:23,720
This is crazy.
134
00:09:24,080 --> 00:09:25,080
He's been driving forever.
135
00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:29,560
Mandy and I are getting married in two
hours. What is she doing in the
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00:09:29,560 --> 00:09:33,060
mountains? Dad, that's where her
bachelorette party was and her car broke
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00:09:33,380 --> 00:09:35,440
I didn't hear anything about a
bachelorette party.
138
00:09:36,620 --> 00:09:38,270
Faith. What are you up to?
139
00:09:38,510 --> 00:09:40,790
Nothing. You're so suspicious, Hope.
140
00:09:42,170 --> 00:09:43,650
Okay, we're here.
141
00:09:44,450 --> 00:09:46,590
Go get your bride and we'll be off to
the courthouse.
142
00:09:54,250 --> 00:09:55,530
What are you doing?
143
00:09:55,810 --> 00:09:57,050
Dishing dead in Ann's cabin.
144
00:09:57,330 --> 00:10:00,630
No, no, no. You turn this car around
right now. I promised I wouldn't meddle.
145
00:10:01,050 --> 00:10:02,050
But I didn't.
146
00:10:02,470 --> 00:10:05,770
All he needs to be is alone with her for
a few minutes and then he'll realize
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00:10:05,770 --> 00:10:06,770
this is all a big mistake.
148
00:10:07,260 --> 00:10:08,520
Pull over. No.
149
00:10:09,300 --> 00:10:10,980
Stop backseat driving.
150
00:10:19,900 --> 00:10:22,320
Well, that was just great.
151
00:10:23,180 --> 00:10:24,180
Here we are.
152
00:10:24,320 --> 00:10:26,600
Out in the middle of nowhere with a flat
tire.
153
00:10:27,860 --> 00:10:29,220
No cell service.
154
00:10:30,340 --> 00:10:31,460
Now what are we going to do?
155
00:10:33,160 --> 00:10:36,840
We have to make a pact here and now. If
no one comes to rescue us,
156
00:10:37,870 --> 00:10:39,050
We eat you first.
157
00:10:42,410 --> 00:10:44,670
I hope these people will let us use
their phone.
158
00:10:44,890 --> 00:10:48,850
Hope, trust me, you might think I'm
crazy, but once Dad knocks on that cabin
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00:10:48,850 --> 00:10:53,390
door and Ann answers, he's going to
realize how much he loves her and not
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00:10:53,570 --> 00:10:56,050
and we're all going to live happily ever
after.
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00:11:09,260 --> 00:11:12,060
I'm waiting for you. This is my cabin.
162
00:11:16,380 --> 00:11:18,320
Doesn't that look like a nine to you?
163
00:11:25,500 --> 00:11:31,180
Sorry you have to drive me to my
wedding, Anne.
164
00:11:31,780 --> 00:11:33,620
I can't think of anything more awkward.
165
00:11:34,820 --> 00:11:36,060
Get on your...
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00:12:05,950 --> 00:12:07,370
What's that supposed to mean?
167
00:12:08,950 --> 00:12:10,030
I'm sorry, Hope.
168
00:12:10,450 --> 00:12:12,470
I never wanted to tell you this, but...
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00:12:15,370 --> 00:12:18,370
I married your mother because she was
pregnant.
170
00:12:19,790 --> 00:12:22,270
Maybe that'll help you understand.
171
00:12:25,370 --> 00:12:28,230
So we're here.
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00:12:33,470 --> 00:12:36,810
And you're a wonderful woman.
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00:12:37,430 --> 00:12:41,950
You have no idea how I wish that things
were different.
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00:12:54,990 --> 00:13:00,770
We're gathered here today to witness the
legal union of Jack Fairfield and Mandy
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00:13:00,770 --> 00:13:01,770
Radner.
176
00:13:03,890 --> 00:13:07,130
I can't believe Dad only married Mom
because she was pregnant.
177
00:13:07,550 --> 00:13:08,329
I know.
178
00:13:08,330 --> 00:13:11,490
I was shocked when I found their
marriage certificate back in high
179
00:13:11,750 --> 00:13:15,470
It took me a couple of weeks to do the
math, but then I was like, wow, Hope
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00:13:15,470 --> 00:13:18,930
totally ruined Mom and Dad's life. No
wonder they love me more.
181
00:13:22,250 --> 00:13:25,110
Don't you remember? I know something you
don't know.
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00:13:25,910 --> 00:13:26,910
Excuse me.
183
00:13:27,110 --> 00:13:30,470
Could you talk a little louder? We could
hardly hear you.
184
00:13:31,150 --> 00:13:35,250
Oh, I'm sorry. We were just discussing
the first time I found out that Hope was
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00:13:35,250 --> 00:13:36,250
illegitimate.
186
00:13:36,810 --> 00:13:38,650
Oh, that was back in high school.
Remember?
187
00:13:38,850 --> 00:13:39,850
I helped you do the math.
188
00:13:42,310 --> 00:13:45,450
Is there anyone here who thinks that
these two people should not be joined?
189
00:13:46,090 --> 00:13:48,810
Actually, Your Honor, you might want to
skip that part.
190
00:13:50,350 --> 00:13:51,910
Okay, I'll get right to it then.
191
00:13:52,550 --> 00:13:55,630
Jack, do you take Mandy to be your
lawfully wedded wife?
192
00:13:56,610 --> 00:13:57,610
I do.
193
00:13:58,890 --> 00:14:02,250
Mandy, do you take Jack to be your
lawfully wedded husband?
194
00:14:05,090 --> 00:14:07,790
Is that a yes?
195
00:14:11,710 --> 00:14:15,190
I don't know what that means.
196
00:14:15,990 --> 00:14:19,590
It means she's in labor. But her water
didn't break yet.
197
00:14:23,850 --> 00:14:25,010
We've got to get her to a hospital.
198
00:14:27,370 --> 00:14:28,370
Okay,
199
00:14:29,490 --> 00:14:32,290
don't panic. Call Dr. Ann. She's
probably not that far away.
200
00:14:57,840 --> 00:14:58,840
think this baby is yours.
201
00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:09,780
Okay, everyone under the age of 18
upstairs.
202
00:15:13,440 --> 00:15:15,860
Fake IDs don't count, Sidney.
203
00:15:18,320 --> 00:15:19,320
You okay, Dad?
204
00:15:22,600 --> 00:15:23,720
Hope you were right.
205
00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:28,720
I shouldn't have believed Mandy when she
told me it was my baby.
206
00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:33,640
I really owe you an apology.
207
00:15:34,160 --> 00:15:35,160
No, no, no.
208
00:15:35,420 --> 00:15:36,960
That's not what I'm upset about.
209
00:15:39,800 --> 00:15:44,440
I just... I can't believe you only
married Mom because she was pregnant.
210
00:15:46,720 --> 00:15:47,720
Didn't you love her?
211
00:15:48,380 --> 00:15:49,480
With all my heart.
212
00:15:49,880 --> 00:15:51,020
But that came later.
213
00:15:52,080 --> 00:15:54,080
So, I was just an accident?
214
00:15:54,480 --> 00:15:55,480
No.
215
00:15:56,080 --> 00:16:01,800
You were a miracle Your mother and I
were soulmates, but we might not have
216
00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:08,640
discovered that if you hadn't happened
And then you would have missed out on me
217
00:16:08,640 --> 00:16:12,880
The biggest miracle of all
218
00:16:12,880 --> 00:16:19,620
You know hope when they put you in my
arms for the first time
219
00:16:19,620 --> 00:16:24,260
they say that newborns can't smile But I
swear
220
00:16:24,990 --> 00:16:28,530
You looked up at me and gave me the
brightest grin I'd ever seen.
221
00:16:30,270 --> 00:16:34,430
The sun rose in my heart, and it's still
shining.
222
00:16:36,910 --> 00:16:37,910
Thank Dad.
223
00:16:42,730 --> 00:16:43,910
That was so sweet.
224
00:16:46,530 --> 00:16:48,270
What happened the first time you held
me?
225
00:16:49,230 --> 00:16:50,510
You spit up on me.
226
00:16:53,290 --> 00:16:54,410
I love you.
227
00:16:58,160 --> 00:17:01,920
Now, I'm going to go lie down. This has
been a long day.
228
00:17:06,980 --> 00:17:07,980
Look, Hope.
229
00:17:09,260 --> 00:17:14,700
I've been thinking, if you want to have
another baby... I've been thinking too,
230
00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:15,800
Charlie.
231
00:17:16,500 --> 00:17:21,319
And seeing Mandy give birth was sort of
a reality check.
232
00:17:22,119 --> 00:17:23,500
I'd forgotten about the...
233
00:17:24,780 --> 00:17:28,740
Crying, the nursing, lack of sleep.
234
00:17:29,120 --> 00:17:30,420
Your weight gain, your mood swings.
235
00:17:33,460 --> 00:17:35,260
Your list was sufficient. Go on.
236
00:17:38,420 --> 00:17:44,120
What I'm saying is I know there's
something missing in my life, but it's
237
00:17:44,120 --> 00:17:46,380
piano or a dog.
238
00:17:48,020 --> 00:17:50,560
It's not a baby either.
239
00:17:52,080 --> 00:17:53,220
I don't know what it is.
240
00:17:55,699 --> 00:17:57,180
But I'm going to find out.
241
00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:08,320
Oh, Dad,
242
00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:09,600
did you get that?
243
00:18:15,100 --> 00:18:16,100
Ann,
244
00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:23,080
what are you doing here?
245
00:18:24,200 --> 00:18:25,320
Well, I got your invitation.
246
00:18:25,860 --> 00:18:26,860
My what?
247
00:18:27,260 --> 00:18:28,420
Your invitation.
248
00:18:42,520 --> 00:18:46,100
Sorry, Dad. I guess we just can't help
ourselves.
249
00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:48,080
Love, hope, and faith.
250
00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:51,000
P .S.
251
00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:53,920
Compliment her on her shoes. Women love
that.
252
00:18:56,540 --> 00:18:57,540
Nice shoes.
18323
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