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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,200 --> 00:00:04,560 {\i1}Theorizing that one could time travel within his own lifetime,{\i0} 2 00:00:04,760 --> 00:00:08,000 {\i1}Dr. Sam Beckett stepped into the Quantum Leap accelerator...{\i0} 3 00:00:08,080 --> 00:00:09,800 {\i1}and vanished.{\i0} 4 00:00:14,160 --> 00:00:16,920 {\i1}He awoke to find himself trapped in the past,{\i0} 5 00:00:17,160 --> 00:00:20,120 {\i1}facing mirror images that were not his own...{\i0} 6 00:00:20,200 --> 00:00:24,520 {\i1}and driven by an unknown force to change history for the better.{\i0} 7 00:00:25,200 --> 00:00:29,440 {\i1}His only guide on this journey is Al, an observer from his own time,{\i0} 8 00:00:29,520 --> 00:00:33,920 {\i1}who appears in the form of a hologram that only Sam can see and hear.{\i0} 9 00:00:34,320 --> 00:00:38,360 {\i1}And so, Dr. Beckett finds himself leaping from life to life,{\i0} 10 00:00:38,440 --> 00:00:41,240 {\i1}striving to put right what once went wrong...{\i0} 11 00:00:41,320 --> 00:00:44,200 {\i1}and hoping each time that his next leap...{\i0} 12 00:00:44,560 --> 00:00:46,760 {\i1}will be the leap home.{\i0} 13 00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:54,880 So, what did the cop say? 14 00:00:56,280 --> 00:00:59,120 Probably said you should get yourself a dayjob. 15 00:01:00,680 --> 00:01:02,640 Hey, buddy. What did you do? 16 00:01:02,760 --> 00:01:04,640 Escape from a home for the comedically stunted, 17 00:01:04,720 --> 00:01:07,000 or just the hopelessly stupid, huh? 18 00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:10,320 Stay with me, will ya, Davey? 19 00:01:10,440 --> 00:01:13,840 Uh, yeah. Well, this-this cop said that... 20 00:01:14,360 --> 00:01:16,200 - Yeah, he was haulin' you in. - He was haulin' me in, 21 00:01:16,280 --> 00:01:17,880 and-and I was... 22 00:01:17,960 --> 00:01:19,840 - Naked. - Naked. 23 00:01:20,360 --> 00:01:21,520 And, uh... 24 00:01:21,600 --> 00:01:23,480 You were... You were holding the sheep. 25 00:01:24,360 --> 00:01:26,200 And then you said... 26 00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:30,680 "Oh, boy"? 27 00:02:44,840 --> 00:02:47,960 Oh, boy, oh, boy. How do you like that, ladies and gentlemen? 28 00:02:48,080 --> 00:02:50,360 Davey's got a new routine, and he forgot to tell me about it. 29 00:02:50,480 --> 00:02:53,000 Thank goodness one of you got a new routine. 30 00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:55,760 Hey, buddy, you wanna come up here and do a show by yourself? 31 00:02:55,880 --> 00:02:57,560 I bet you do a lot of stuff by yourself, huh? 32 00:02:57,680 --> 00:03:00,400 Hey, who the hell do you think you are? 33 00:03:00,520 --> 00:03:04,280 So, anyway, there I was, standin' in the bushes, naked... 34 00:03:04,400 --> 00:03:07,520 - Joey, please. Sit down. Sit down. - Holdin' a sheep. 35 00:03:07,640 --> 00:03:11,640 And this cop comes up and he says to me, 36 00:03:11,760 --> 00:03:15,360 "You know, you just can't stand around like that." 37 00:03:15,480 --> 00:03:17,600 And-And I said, "No, no, no. 38 00:03:17,720 --> 00:03:22,360 "It's okay because, you see, it's sheep season." 39 00:03:23,440 --> 00:03:25,120 {\i1}What'd he say?{\i0} 40 00:03:25,240 --> 00:03:28,360 See, I said, "No, it's okay, it's sheep season." 41 00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:30,320 Have you lost your mind? 42 00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:34,640 Well, I get it. 43 00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:37,640 - Sheep season! - Oh, we're dead. 44 00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:39,160 No, this is worse than death. 45 00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:41,320 Maybe they should just throw dirt on us so we know we're dead. 46 00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:43,520 So, have you nice folks drunk up your minimum yet? 47 00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:45,760 It'd be worth it to leave early. 48 00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:49,400 I had the same problem with the police once... 49 00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:52,800 - Not tonight. We've lost 'em. - No, really. I was harassed by the police, 50 00:03:52,960 --> 00:03:55,160 and all I was doin' was walkin' my little poodle. 51 00:03:55,320 --> 00:03:57,520 Look, uh, lady, this is a professional act, okay? 52 00:03:57,640 --> 00:03:59,680 - That's a matter of opinion. - Look, buddy, 53 00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:01,760 I got enough people up here makin' fools of themselves. 54 00:04:01,880 --> 00:04:03,920 You wanna be a jerk, you do it on your own time, all right? 55 00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:06,240 Yeah, my little poodle, her name was Tis, 56 00:04:06,360 --> 00:04:09,360 and, oh, she was the cutest little teacup you ever did see. 57 00:04:09,480 --> 00:04:11,800 Well, I let her off her leash to use the, uh... 58 00:04:11,920 --> 00:04:14,760 Well, to go to the, uh... You know. 59 00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:17,360 Out of nowhere comes this big old black cat, 60 00:04:17,480 --> 00:04:19,560 and it races by, and Tis... Boom... 61 00:04:19,720 --> 00:04:21,880 takes off into the bushes, right after her. 62 00:04:22,840 --> 00:04:24,640 This is a sad story. 63 00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:27,920 Yeah, well, I go into the bushes lookin' for her. 64 00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:30,600 Of course, though, I wasn't, uh, naked. 65 00:04:31,520 --> 00:04:34,880 - Well, you can't have everything. - Yeah, or else you'd be gone. 66 00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:36,400 Look, I'm warnin' you, okay? 67 00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:38,800 So, let me ask you this one question, though. 68 00:04:38,920 --> 00:04:40,960 Did-Did you have a sheep with you? 69 00:04:41,760 --> 00:04:43,440 What are you talking about? 70 00:04:43,560 --> 00:04:46,960 N-N-No, he's right. I didn't have a sheep. 71 00:04:47,080 --> 00:04:50,400 But I was just comin' out of those bushes, right about the corner, 72 00:04:50,520 --> 00:04:52,520 and I was callin' my dog, when all of a sudden... 73 00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:54,960 this policeman comes up to me, and he grabs me, 74 00:04:55,080 --> 00:04:57,600 and he arrests me, and he hauls me in front of the judge. 75 00:04:57,720 --> 00:04:59,520 - What for? - For steppin' on his act. 76 00:04:59,640 --> 00:05:03,720 N-N-No. For solicitin' with the purpose of prostitution. 77 00:05:03,840 --> 00:05:05,560 Well, it doesn't surprise me. 78 00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:08,440 Well, it surprised me! I mean, I wasn't. 79 00:05:08,560 --> 00:05:14,520 I was just standin' on the corner, callin' my dog, sayin', "Here, Tis. Here, Tis." 80 00:05:14,640 --> 00:05:17,720 Oh, keep the girl. You creeps need somethin' funny in the act. 81 00:05:17,840 --> 00:05:19,360 That's it. I'll kill him. 82 00:05:20,800 --> 00:05:23,960 - We're doin' a show here, okay? - Who the hell do you think you are? 83 00:05:24,080 --> 00:05:26,880 How 'bout a little respect, okay? Who the hell do you think you are? 84 00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:28,520 Thank you and good night! 85 00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:32,320 All right, let's have a round of... a round of applause... 86 00:05:32,440 --> 00:05:35,520 for the comedy stylings of Parker and MacKay... 87 00:05:35,640 --> 00:05:39,360 and our own, uh, Frankie, uh, Washarskie! 88 00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:42,440 I don't get this. Why would you pick tonight to come on stage with us? 89 00:05:42,520 --> 00:05:44,200 - We were dyin' out there. - You don't get this? 90 00:05:44,250 --> 00:05:45,270 And you... You... 91 00:05:45,300 --> 00:05:47,300 Obviously you were dying, and that is why I went up on stage. 92 00:05:47,350 --> 00:05:49,760 It was not the right moment. You have no sense of comedic timing. 93 00:05:49,890 --> 00:05:51,730 What the hell happened to you out there? 94 00:05:51,840 --> 00:05:53,160 - Uh, well... - Yeah... 95 00:05:53,280 --> 00:05:55,840 What was that fight, your impression of Joe Louis on a bad night? 96 00:05:55,960 --> 00:05:57,720 - I was saving you. - Me? 97 00:05:57,840 --> 00:05:59,920 I don't think you should have tried to hit that guy. 98 00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:01,960 I wouldn't have had to if you hadn't have put the broad in the act. 99 00:06:02,120 --> 00:06:03,000 Broad! 100 00:06:03,160 --> 00:06:05,360 - I thought she was pretty funny actually. - I saved your butts. 101 00:06:05,480 --> 00:06:07,280 Yeah, that was 'cause Davey lost his timing. 102 00:06:07,440 --> 00:06:09,880 Oh, yeah? Well, what was your excuse for being a "smuck"? 103 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:11,480 Not even close. 104 00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:13,280 Look, look. Uh, guys... 105 00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:16,000 I think that you should just keep your feathers out of Davey's nose... 106 00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:18,520 and go back where you belong... waitin' on tables. 107 00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:28,280 I thought you were funny. 108 00:06:28,440 --> 00:06:31,400 Oh, what difference does that make? Mack hates me. 109 00:06:31,840 --> 00:06:34,880 Well, from the looks of things, Mack hates everybody. 110 00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:38,520 I cannot go back to waiting on tables. I just can't. 111 00:06:38,640 --> 00:06:40,400 Look, I-I tell you what. 112 00:06:40,520 --> 00:06:42,120 As soon as he calms down, 113 00:06:42,440 --> 00:06:44,840 we'll all sit down and we'll talk this whole thing through. 114 00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:46,520 Oh, come on. You heard him. 115 00:06:46,680 --> 00:06:49,440 I mean, he does not care whether I am good or what. 116 00:06:49,560 --> 00:06:52,680 I mean, all he cares about is himself. God! 117 00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:55,760 He is the most selfish, self-centered egomaniac 118 00:06:55,880 --> 00:06:58,000 I've ever had the misfortune to meet in my life! 119 00:06:58,120 --> 00:07:00,880 Now ask her what she really thinks of the guy. 120 00:07:01,680 --> 00:07:04,480 - How do you really feel about him? - Oh, I'm crazy about him. 121 00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:06,360 - I knew it. - You're kidding. 122 00:07:06,480 --> 00:07:11,160 No. I mean, you know Mack. He can be so sweet. 123 00:07:11,280 --> 00:07:14,520 When we first started going out, he used to hold my chair... 124 00:07:14,680 --> 00:07:18,920 and help me with my coat and light my cigarette, and I don't even smoke. 125 00:07:19,040 --> 00:07:22,040 And then you offered to give me a shot, and he turns into a futz! 126 00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:23,600 Close. 127 00:07:23,720 --> 00:07:26,560 Look, you're a very funny lady, Frankie, 128 00:07:26,720 --> 00:07:30,000 and I don't think you should let Mack or-or anybody else tell you different. 129 00:07:30,160 --> 00:07:32,200 - You really think so? - Yeah. 130 00:07:32,310 --> 00:07:34,620 You can make me anytime... Uh, laugh. 131 00:07:34,760 --> 00:07:38,320 - Make me laugh, anytime. - So you just dry your eyes... 132 00:07:38,480 --> 00:07:40,640 and forget about waitin' on tables. 133 00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:43,000 Tables? All you idiots can go back to waiting on tables! 134 00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:44,920 What kind of a stunt was that with the customer? 135 00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:46,560 No one swings on a patron of mine! 136 00:07:46,680 --> 00:07:48,680 This is Lou Collins, the owner of the Cocono Club... 137 00:07:48,840 --> 00:07:51,360 Mack was nervous about trying me out in the act tonight. 138 00:07:51,430 --> 00:07:52,660 Where you're on the payroll... 139 00:07:52,740 --> 00:07:54,470 And where is that idiot partner of yours? 140 00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:56,320 - With your partner, MacKay. - Oh, well... 141 00:07:56,440 --> 00:07:58,840 - By the way, you're in the Poconos. - You mean Mack. 142 00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:00,800 What other idiot partner have you got? 143 00:08:00,920 --> 00:08:02,680 The Cocono in the Poconos. 144 00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:03,800 I, uh... 145 00:08:03,960 --> 00:08:06,560 And I'm not considering you, because you deserve better. 146 00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:08,720 Deserves better than what? 147 00:08:08,840 --> 00:08:10,920 You don't get any better than Parker and MacKay, buddy, 148 00:08:11,040 --> 00:08:15,280 and you are damn lucky to have us in this two-bit, rundown... 149 00:08:15,400 --> 00:08:17,240 All right. Now look, Mack... 150 00:08:17,360 --> 00:08:20,560 Sam, it's 1959, and you're about to get fired. 151 00:08:20,680 --> 00:08:23,480 - ...hole in the wall of a dive! - You're fired! 152 00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:26,520 - I'm fired. - Thanks for the advance warning. 153 00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:29,960 - You got all the warning you need. - Not you... 154 00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:32,840 - You can't fire me. I got a contract. - Watch me. I'll do it again. 155 00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:34,800 Wait a second. Why don't we just talk about this, okay? 156 00:08:34,920 --> 00:08:36,320 You're fired. How was that? 157 00:08:36,680 --> 00:08:39,680 - Oh! Mack, no! - Mack, no! Easy... 158 00:08:41,840 --> 00:08:43,760 - Al, what am I gonna do? - Nothing. 159 00:08:43,920 --> 00:08:45,120 What do you mean, nothing? 160 00:08:45,240 --> 00:08:47,840 'Cause in about five seconds, Carlo DeGorio is gonna come up the stairs, 161 00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:50,720 - and his guy is gonna say... - Hey, meatheads! 162 00:08:53,160 --> 00:08:55,280 Mr. DeGorio wants to talk to youse. 163 00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:59,680 Mr. DeGorio, your son sang terrific tonight. I mean, like father, like son. 164 00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:02,680 How would you know? You're back here yelling at the comics. 165 00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:05,400 Sweetheart, why don't you go, uh, powder your nose? 166 00:09:05,520 --> 00:09:08,160 Ooh, I'd like to help her powder her nose, 167 00:09:08,280 --> 00:09:10,080 - and her chin, and her neck... - Joey, please. 168 00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:12,880 Mr. DeGorio says I should apologize for funnin' with you out there. 169 00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:15,440 Well, somebody ought to teach you a little audience etiquette. 170 00:09:15,560 --> 00:09:16,600 Come on, Mack. 171 00:09:16,720 --> 00:09:18,720 Why don't you guys just curtail your conversation for one moment? 172 00:09:18,840 --> 00:09:21,840 The name's DeGorio, Carlo DeGorio. 173 00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:24,560 Of the Las Vegas Golden Sand. 174 00:09:24,680 --> 00:09:26,960 - I'd like to make you an offer. - Offer? 175 00:09:27,080 --> 00:09:28,480 You'll like this part, Sam. 176 00:09:28,600 --> 00:09:30,800 Two weeks at the Golden Sand in Vegas. 177 00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:33,880 - Oh. - Vegas? The main showroom? 178 00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:35,600 See how you do in the lounge first. 179 00:09:35,720 --> 00:09:37,880 - They are not available. - What? 180 00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:40,560 - They, uh, work for me. - You just fired us. 181 00:09:40,680 --> 00:09:42,640 - Wait a second. - I got a contract for another three weeks. 182 00:09:42,760 --> 00:09:44,640 - You just fired us. - Whoa, whoa, whoa. 183 00:09:44,760 --> 00:09:47,320 Why don't you guys work out the details between yourselves, okay? 184 00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:49,480 And I'll see the three of you in Vegas Friday. 185 00:09:49,600 --> 00:09:50,880 What do you mean, the three of us? 186 00:09:51,040 --> 00:09:53,240 I mean I like the girl. Got a problem with that? 187 00:09:54,040 --> 00:09:56,880 - No problem. - Good. I'll see you in Vegas. 188 00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:59,240 And me and you, we'll have dinner when you get there. 189 00:09:59,360 --> 00:10:01,600 - Oh, I don't know. - No problem. 190 00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:03,280 Didn't think so. 191 00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:07,080 No problem? No problem? No prob... No problem? 192 00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:08,760 You got a problem. I got a contract. 193 00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:10,000 You fired us! 194 00:10:10,120 --> 00:10:11,520 You cannot tell that man I'll have dinner with him. 195 00:10:11,640 --> 00:10:13,200 - Who says I fired you? - We say! 196 00:10:13,320 --> 00:10:15,040 You're workin' for me, you do whatever I say. 197 00:10:15,080 --> 00:10:17,080 - Now just relax. - It's your word against mine. 198 00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:19,280 For you? I thought we were partners. 199 00:10:19,330 --> 00:10:21,960 Davey and I are partners. You? You're a pain in the neck. 200 00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:23,320 A pain in the neck? 201 00:10:23,440 --> 00:10:24,960 And you're stuck here for another three weeks. 202 00:10:25,120 --> 00:10:27,920 Can it, Lou. You fired us. We're goin' to Vegas. 203 00:10:28,040 --> 00:10:30,000 The reason we're goin' to Vegas is because of me. 204 00:10:30,120 --> 00:10:32,680 I got a deal! Three weeks! 205 00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:35,600 And I'll sue for breach. 206 00:10:36,120 --> 00:10:38,280 Comics! I give 'em a shot at bein' a star... 207 00:10:38,400 --> 00:10:41,720 - You're on a real roller coaster here. - What is goin' on here, Al? 208 00:10:41,840 --> 00:10:43,670 Do you believe these people? They're nuts. 209 00:10:43,730 --> 00:10:47,080 And that guy DeGorio... I mean, he's right out of some movie or somethin'. 210 00:10:47,160 --> 00:10:49,520 Well, he's very well-connected with the family, 211 00:10:49,640 --> 00:10:52,040 and Ziggy says there's a 90.5% chance... 212 00:10:52,160 --> 00:10:55,320 that he's the reason that the raging bull there disappears. 213 00:10:55,440 --> 00:10:57,760 I hate it when you say "disappears." 214 00:10:58,000 --> 00:10:59,600 - Well, he vanishes. - Oh. 215 00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:04,280 Uh, May 2, 1959, MacKay... Macklyn MacKay... 216 00:11:04,440 --> 00:11:08,360 vanishes right after Parker, MacKay and Washarskie have their opening debut... 217 00:11:08,480 --> 00:11:10,680 - Wait, wait. - In the showroom in Las Vegas. 218 00:11:10,760 --> 00:11:13,200 - Who's Washarskie? - She's gotta change her name. 219 00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:16,600 - What happens? - I don't know. He was never seen again. 220 00:11:16,680 --> 00:11:20,560 In Italian, we say he's probably sleeping with the fishes. 221 00:11:20,660 --> 00:11:22,760 But of course there's no fishes in Las Vegas, 222 00:11:22,880 --> 00:11:24,440 so he's probably sleepin' with the scorpions... 223 00:11:24,520 --> 00:11:27,000 or sleepin' with the centipedes or rattlesnakes, coyotes... 224 00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:28,320 Okay, I got the picture. 225 00:11:28,400 --> 00:11:30,600 I can't listen to another word of this. 226 00:11:30,680 --> 00:11:32,720 You have to listen to many, many more words of this, 227 00:11:32,740 --> 00:11:34,260 because we have to work on our act. 228 00:11:34,290 --> 00:11:35,760 - Act? What do you mean, act? - Prairie dogs... 229 00:11:35,780 --> 00:11:37,520 You're not part of my act. 230 00:11:40,240 --> 00:11:41,840 {\i1}Howdy, folks. This is Lucky Buck...{\i0} 231 00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:45,080 Sam, do you know what the secret of comedy is? 232 00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:48,600 - No, and I don't wanna know. - The secret of comedy is... 233 00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:50,280 - Al, I don't care. - Timing. 234 00:11:50,360 --> 00:11:51,840 How come you don't care? 235 00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:55,000 - Because I'm not funny. - You're not supposed to be funny. 236 00:11:55,120 --> 00:11:57,760 - You're a scientist. - Well, thank you for sharing that. 237 00:11:57,880 --> 00:12:02,120 And if you tell me that you were a stand-up, I'm gonna... I'm gonna... pow! 238 00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:06,600 You can't pow. I'm a hologram. And, no, I was never a stand-up. 239 00:12:06,720 --> 00:12:08,240 - It's a miracle. - Now listen. 240 00:12:08,320 --> 00:12:10,800 You are the singing half of a comedy team. 241 00:12:10,920 --> 00:12:12,160 You got Davey's charts. 242 00:12:12,240 --> 00:12:14,880 All you have to do is learn the songs, and you fake the routines, 243 00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:17,400 and then you save Mack from whoever he's tickin' off, 244 00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:19,200 and bingo, you leap out of it. 245 00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:20,720 What else could possibly happen? 246 00:12:20,800 --> 00:12:22,880 - I could not be funny. - Well, we got Ziggy. 247 00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:24,800 - Ziggy is not funny. - I know. 248 00:12:24,920 --> 00:12:28,080 But Ziggy has tapped into the greatest comedy teams of all time. 249 00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:31,040 Who's he got? "Live from Rome, it's Nero, on the steps of the..." 250 00:12:31,160 --> 00:12:34,520 No, no, no. We got Laurel and Hardy, Abbott and Costello, Martin and Lewis, 251 00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:37,880 - Burns and Allen... the best. - Al, there are three of us, okay? 252 00:12:37,960 --> 00:12:40,560 - The Three Stooges. - That's not funny. 253 00:12:40,680 --> 00:12:42,880 Besides, I don't know Dave and Mack's routines. 254 00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:44,640 That's okay. They don't know 'em either. 255 00:12:44,760 --> 00:12:45,780 What? 256 00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:47,560 According to Ziggy, the reason they bombed... 257 00:12:47,680 --> 00:12:50,680 was because Mack tried to force Frankie into the duo 258 00:12:50,760 --> 00:12:53,120 when he should have created a trio. 259 00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:56,080 Oh, I see. And someone in the audience didn't think they were funny, 260 00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:57,640 so they killed Mack. 261 00:12:57,760 --> 00:12:59,640 - That makes a lot of sense. - Ha, ha. 262 00:12:59,720 --> 00:13:01,280 What makes sense? 263 00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:04,800 Hey, isn't it my turn to drive yet? I mean, what time is it? 264 00:13:04,920 --> 00:13:06,440 - 0400. - Oh, 4:00. 265 00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:08,480 You've been drivin' for 10 hours? 266 00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:12,560 Look, why don't we pull into, uh, Gallup, whatever that is? 267 00:13:12,680 --> 00:13:14,760 We'll have a cup of coffee. 268 00:13:18,280 --> 00:13:21,040 Mack, you wanna come in for some coffee? Mack? 269 00:13:21,160 --> 00:13:23,400 Why don't we just let him sleep? 270 00:13:25,520 --> 00:13:29,640 When I was waking up, I heard you say something about Mack getting killed? 271 00:13:29,920 --> 00:13:31,880 Oh, no, no, no. Mack? 272 00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:34,760 No, no. I was just saying to myself that... 273 00:13:34,920 --> 00:13:39,000 that if Mack didn't help us work up some new routines that include you, 274 00:13:39,120 --> 00:13:40,480 that the audience would kill him. 275 00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:42,600 Us. Comic talk, you know. 276 00:13:42,720 --> 00:13:46,120 No, Sam. The comic is trying to kill the audience, 277 00:13:46,230 --> 00:13:49,520 and if he can't do it, he dies on stage. Get it? 278 00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:54,840 You sit anywhere your little hearts desire. 279 00:13:54,920 --> 00:13:57,840 I'm gonna get you the best cup of coffee this side of the Rio Grande. 280 00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:02,120 - You know, you're right. - About what? 281 00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:06,840 Well, there's no way that I can work into "Mr. Show Biz" or "Heroes." 282 00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:08,800 Sure you can. There are lots of women heroes. 283 00:14:08,920 --> 00:14:11,720 - There's no reason why you couldn't... - Okay, everybody. I'm here! 284 00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:14,440 Let me get a shot of the room. Hold still. 285 00:14:14,560 --> 00:14:16,200 Beautiful. Let me get a picture of you. 286 00:14:16,320 --> 00:14:18,720 Great. You just look at this in a minute, and I bet I got you in it too. 287 00:14:19,440 --> 00:14:22,640 Okay, coffee for everybody! Put it on the big guy's check. 288 00:14:22,760 --> 00:14:25,200 Oh, you know what? I have a question for you. Is that your truck outside? 289 00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:27,280 - Yeah. - Really? The big red one, 290 00:14:27,360 --> 00:14:29,120 with the beautiful lettering that says Raymond's Refrigerating? 291 00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:30,280 Yeah. 292 00:14:30,360 --> 00:14:33,080 The one that's sitting in that enormous puddle of milky brown stuff? 293 00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:34,600 It's my ice cream! 294 00:14:34,720 --> 00:14:36,600 Hold it, hold it. I was just kiddin' with you. 295 00:14:36,720 --> 00:14:40,080 That's a good way to get your heart started in the mornin', ain't it, big guy? 296 00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:42,840 You think you're funny? 297 00:14:43,520 --> 00:14:44,880 She laughed. 298 00:14:45,720 --> 00:14:48,840 Well, maybe it won't be so funny if you're lookin' out of the other side of your face! 299 00:14:48,920 --> 00:14:52,320 Listen, uh, you gotta excuse my brother. He was just released from an asylum... 300 00:14:52,430 --> 00:14:54,390 - The other side of my face? - And he's not real good... 301 00:14:54,410 --> 00:14:55,250 Yeah! 302 00:14:55,270 --> 00:14:57,380 Dealin' with people right now, but soon he'll be fine again. 303 00:14:58,400 --> 00:14:59,920 You better lock him up. 304 00:15:00,040 --> 00:15:02,680 I'd like to thank you for your kind observation... 305 00:15:02,760 --> 00:15:06,120 and let you know that we're doing everything we can to restrain him. 306 00:15:08,520 --> 00:15:11,240 Some people don't have a sense of humor, you know? 307 00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:13,400 You know, you might have come up with something just now. 308 00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:16,080 We could do a bit about me escaping from an asylum. 309 00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:18,360 - Why do you do that? - Do what? 310 00:15:18,440 --> 00:15:21,920 Why do you act like a geek so Davey has to come and save you? 311 00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:23,920 What am I supposed to do, wait for you? 312 00:15:24,040 --> 00:15:26,480 Oh, I suppose you think that only men can be heroes. 313 00:15:26,600 --> 00:15:27,600 Yes, I do. 314 00:15:27,720 --> 00:15:29,800 You know, women are quite capable of taking care of themselves. 315 00:15:29,880 --> 00:15:32,040 But most of 'em didn't even know that in '59. 316 00:15:32,120 --> 00:15:34,720 We don't need you to come running to our rescue. 317 00:15:37,160 --> 00:15:38,640 Hey, that's very funny. 318 00:15:38,760 --> 00:15:41,400 - Women can take care of themselves. - Yeah, right. 319 00:15:41,480 --> 00:15:42,980 Don't do that to me. 320 00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:44,680 - Oh. - I mean it, Mack. Stop it! 321 00:15:44,800 --> 00:15:47,520 All right. All right. Now come on. 322 00:15:48,160 --> 00:15:49,640 Why don't we just... 323 00:15:49,760 --> 00:15:53,880 Why don't we just concentrate on what we're gonna do on stage tomorrow night? 324 00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:56,480 We are not doing anything tomorrow night. 325 00:15:56,600 --> 00:15:59,000 Parker and MacKay are going on stage, okay? 326 00:15:59,080 --> 00:16:01,280 - Uh, and Lane. - Lane? 327 00:16:01,400 --> 00:16:03,480 Well, you see, I like that better than Washarskie. 328 00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:06,000 - So do I. - Women are not funny. 329 00:16:06,120 --> 00:16:09,200 - What about Gracie Allen? - She has George Burns. 330 00:16:09,280 --> 00:16:11,320 - Elaine May. - Mike Nichols. 331 00:16:11,440 --> 00:16:13,080 - Lucille Ball. - Desi Arnaz. 332 00:16:13,190 --> 00:16:15,790 - Fanny Brice! - Nicky Arnstein. 333 00:16:16,440 --> 00:16:19,200 What? Well, I've got Parker and MacKay. 334 00:16:19,600 --> 00:16:23,800 N-O. Look. We don't need you. We don't want you. 335 00:16:23,880 --> 00:16:28,000 We don't even think we may want you. And if we did, we wouldn't. Got it? 336 00:16:28,080 --> 00:16:30,120 - No. - Sam, you gotta make this work. 337 00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:33,160 He's got only 32 hours and 23 minutes before he makes his last performance. 338 00:16:33,240 --> 00:16:34,360 Look, Mack. 339 00:16:34,480 --> 00:16:36,520 DeGorio's not gonna let us go on without her, 340 00:16:36,600 --> 00:16:38,000 so we might as well start thinkin'... 341 00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:40,080 - about how to make this act a trio. - Right! 342 00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:41,680 {\i1}Order up!{\i0} 343 00:16:43,440 --> 00:16:46,320 Okay, look. She gets five minutes with us, but that's it. 344 00:16:46,520 --> 00:16:48,960 Wait a minute. That is one bit. 345 00:16:49,040 --> 00:16:52,600 I mean, I want at least three with you guys and one by myself or I'm not gonna do it. 346 00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:55,200 - You think you can blackmail me? - Yes. 347 00:16:55,320 --> 00:16:57,040 So why don't you just get down, okay? 348 00:16:57,160 --> 00:17:00,360 Both of you. Now sit down and let's start working on something, all right? 349 00:17:00,480 --> 00:17:02,320 - Let's try and come up with somethin'. - Good. Do a bit. 350 00:17:02,360 --> 00:17:04,880 - Some kind of a bit, yeah. - Uh, Steve Allen's "Man In The Street." 351 00:17:04,920 --> 00:17:06,330 A bit about a man in the street. 352 00:17:06,350 --> 00:17:07,940 - With Supergirl. - Yes. With Supergirl. 353 00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:09,560 You're a reporter. You're interviewing people... 354 00:17:09,680 --> 00:17:10,880 I'm a reporter, 355 00:17:10,960 --> 00:17:13,040 I'm on the street and I'm interviewing people, and today I bump into... 356 00:17:13,120 --> 00:17:15,880 two super people... persons. 357 00:17:16,040 --> 00:17:17,800 - This is nuts. - You got a better idea? 358 00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:19,600 - Give me a minute. - No. Sit down. 359 00:17:19,720 --> 00:17:24,160 Okay. Now listen to me. Hi, I'm Dave Parker. Hi. 360 00:17:24,280 --> 00:17:28,000 And I'm here today, your man on the street, interviewing with... 361 00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:31,320 Supergirl! Supergirl, yes. 362 00:17:31,440 --> 00:17:33,440 - So, Supergirl, tell me... - Hey, hey, hey. 363 00:17:33,560 --> 00:17:35,440 Hey, hey. If you're gonna do that weird crazy stuff, 364 00:17:35,560 --> 00:17:37,880 you'd best give me my ketchup and do it elsewhere. 365 00:17:38,120 --> 00:17:40,800 Well, you did us a favor. The coffee wasn't that great anyway. 366 00:17:40,920 --> 00:17:42,880 Oh, yes it was. The coffee was great. 367 00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:45,760 Come on, Sam. Keep it goin'. You gotta make this act work. 368 00:17:45,880 --> 00:17:47,960 Hey, hey. This is Dave Parker here, your man on the street, 369 00:17:48,080 --> 00:17:50,800 and, uh, I'm here today, chatting with... 370 00:17:51,680 --> 00:17:55,200 - Oh. Supergirl! - Supergirl. And? 371 00:17:56,400 --> 00:17:59,760 - And I'm, uh, Superman. - Aha! 372 00:17:59,840 --> 00:18:02,960 So tell me, you-you-you Supers, uh, 373 00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:04,840 what's an average day like for you guys? 374 00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:08,680 Well, we usually like to start the day with a big, heapin' bowl of Kryptonite cereal. 375 00:18:08,760 --> 00:18:09,760 Ha-ha! 376 00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:11,760 No, not Kryptonite. That would kill 'em. 377 00:18:11,990 --> 00:18:14,960 - Two points for the big fella. - Uh, he-he's right. 378 00:18:15,040 --> 00:18:18,680 - Well, not if we're super people. - Ah, she's right. 379 00:18:18,760 --> 00:18:20,560 Especially if you're super people. 380 00:18:20,960 --> 00:18:23,240 Keep it goin'. Keep it goin'. Keep it goin'. 381 00:18:23,360 --> 00:18:26,200 Tell me this though. How do super people, uh... 382 00:18:26,320 --> 00:18:28,240 - Have. - Ha-ha-have... 383 00:18:28,360 --> 00:18:29,480 - Sex. - Sex? 384 00:18:29,560 --> 00:18:31,160 - Davey! - Al! 385 00:18:31,280 --> 00:18:33,000 You know, that's the way my mind works. 386 00:18:33,120 --> 00:18:34,120 Um... 387 00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:35,880 You see that? She can't handle it. 388 00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:37,960 This is the real world, kid. 389 00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:41,200 In the real world, grown-up people like to hear about grown-up things like sex. 390 00:18:41,280 --> 00:18:43,920 Oh, yeah? Well, if doing "smutz" is what this act is all about, 391 00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:45,360 you can just count me out. 392 00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:48,080 - "Schmutz." - I won't do it! 393 00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:50,320 Yeah? Well, that's because you can't do comedy. 394 00:18:50,400 --> 00:18:53,120 If you were a real comedienne, then anything you did would be funny. 395 00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:55,880 And now I am supposed to take a lesson... 396 00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:58,080 from Mr. "I can't keep my fist out of anybody's face 397 00:18:58,150 --> 00:18:59,470 "'cause I'm so mad at the world"? 398 00:18:59,560 --> 00:19:00,720 Mad at the world? 399 00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:03,120 Is this because you want so desperately to be funny, but can't? 400 00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:05,800 You know what your problem is? You hate women! 401 00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:07,680 Oh, so now you're Sigmund Freud. 402 00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:11,120 I'm not Sigmund Freud, but I am a comic. Why won't you give me a shot? 403 00:19:11,240 --> 00:19:13,160 Why are they doin' this, Al? 404 00:19:14,270 --> 00:19:15,950 - They're in love. - What? 405 00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:17,880 Yeah, sure. They're crazy about each other 406 00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:20,040 but they haven't got a clue how to handle it. 407 00:19:20,120 --> 00:19:21,640 - No, no, no. - Yes. 408 00:19:21,760 --> 00:19:25,920 I had the same thing goin' with my sec... second, third, fourth... my fourth wife. 409 00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:27,680 Yeah. Oh, she drove me crazy. 410 00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:29,440 Al, look at them. They're gonna kill each other. 411 00:19:29,560 --> 00:19:31,000 Now what am I gonna do? 412 00:19:31,080 --> 00:19:36,040 Oh, I... I would take her and grab her and kiss her real hard. 413 00:19:36,120 --> 00:19:38,360 Oh, get out. I'm supposed to get them to kiss each other? 414 00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:40,280 - Uh, yeah. Yeah. - Get outta here. Look at them. 415 00:19:40,400 --> 00:19:42,120 Let me do it! That's what I'm saying! 416 00:19:42,170 --> 00:19:43,700 I'm talking. Would you listen to me, please? 417 00:19:43,750 --> 00:19:45,560 - Kiss her real hard... - They're never gonna kiss each other. 418 00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:46,960 And then she would stop talking. 419 00:19:47,080 --> 00:19:49,240 Kissing is the furthest thing from their mind right now. 420 00:19:49,280 --> 00:19:51,600 - She what? Oh. All right. All right. - She would stare into my eyes. 421 00:19:51,680 --> 00:19:54,800 So, I wanna ask you this one question: How do super people kiss? 422 00:19:54,920 --> 00:19:56,400 - What? - Kiss. 423 00:19:56,520 --> 00:19:57,480 - Kiss? - Yes. 424 00:19:57,600 --> 00:19:59,560 I wouldn't kiss her if she was the last woman on Earth. 425 00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:02,320 - You probably don't even know how to kiss. - Oh, yeah? 426 00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:05,120 Sure, she does. 427 00:20:05,240 --> 00:20:07,120 Hey, no! Hey, wait a minute. No, no, no. Not him. 428 00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:09,680 Him! No, you're not supposed to ki... He's supposed to kiss you. 429 00:20:10,280 --> 00:20:11,360 Huh? 430 00:20:11,480 --> 00:20:13,920 Oh, so that's what this is all about, huh? 431 00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:15,120 No, it's not. 432 00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:17,400 You want a little "Wham, bam, thank you ma'am," you do it on your own time. 433 00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:20,280 You slept with him, didn't you? Not with me, but him you sleep with! 434 00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:22,170 - What? - Do something, Sam! 435 00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:24,010 - Do something? - Do something! 436 00:20:24,030 --> 00:20:25,500 I did something. It was the wrong thing. 437 00:20:25,580 --> 00:20:29,180 I know it was the... Look. Look. This is not how it was supposed to happen. 438 00:20:29,280 --> 00:20:30,840 Yeah, I'll bet. Look. 439 00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:33,360 Just lose the broad or get yourself another partner, okay? 440 00:20:33,480 --> 00:20:35,480 - What are you talkin' about? - Mack! 441 00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:37,040 We can't just... 442 00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:40,120 Mack. Open the... 443 00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:42,080 I don't believe that you are so immature... 444 00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:43,480 Get in the car. 445 00:20:43,560 --> 00:20:45,440 Oh, thank you. What a wonderful idea. 446 00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:47,480 You're welcome. Get in the car. 447 00:20:50,760 --> 00:20:52,840 Oh, boy. 448 00:21:01,400 --> 00:21:05,120 We're gonna do the first two shows at 9:30 and 11:30... 449 00:21:05,240 --> 00:21:07,400 with the ring curtains closed. 450 00:21:07,480 --> 00:21:09,320 Then at 2:00 and 4:00, 451 00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:12,760 we're gonna open 'em up to the pits to pull the customers in. 452 00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:16,560 Then, uh, at 4:00 you can get in here and run light and music cues with Charlie. 453 00:21:16,680 --> 00:21:18,440 Okay, all right. Terrific. 454 00:21:18,560 --> 00:21:20,920 Charlie's our, uh, stage manager. Anything... 455 00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:23,680 Anything he can't do for you, trust me, I can. 456 00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:25,680 That's fine, Mr. DeGorio. Thanks very much. 457 00:21:25,800 --> 00:21:27,720 I'll fill in Mack on the setup, okay? 458 00:21:27,840 --> 00:21:30,480 Hey, you do that. And, sweetheart, you look like you're starvin'. 459 00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:32,440 What do you say the two of us grab a little lunch? 460 00:21:32,560 --> 00:21:34,600 - Well, I... - No, no, no. I insist. 461 00:21:34,720 --> 00:21:36,960 Tell you what. We got a bunch of new, uh, 462 00:21:37,070 --> 00:21:39,850 sketches that we're gonna break in tonight. 463 00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:42,440 Isn't it gonna be, uh, tough to rehearse without Mr. MacKay? 464 00:21:42,520 --> 00:21:44,200 Him? Well, see, he... 465 00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:47,440 Yeah, you know... You know, Mack has never been to Las Vegas before. 466 00:21:47,560 --> 00:21:50,720 I-I saw him earlier. He-He's checkin' out all these one-armed burglars. 467 00:21:50,840 --> 00:21:52,440 - Bandits. - That too. 468 00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:54,720 - Do you, uh, gamble much? - No, never touch the stuff, really. 469 00:21:54,840 --> 00:21:56,680 - I was talkin' to Miss Washarskie. - I'm sorry. 470 00:21:56,800 --> 00:22:01,000 It's Turner. I changed it again. No, I really haven't done much gambling. 471 00:22:01,080 --> 00:22:02,720 Actually, I never learned how. 472 00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:04,640 Then we're gonna have dinner after the first show, 473 00:22:04,760 --> 00:22:07,960 and I'm gonna give you a personal lesson in how to roll the dice. 474 00:22:08,080 --> 00:22:09,480 Well, I really should... 475 00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:11,840 Have dinner with me tonight. Good, that's settled. 476 00:22:11,920 --> 00:22:13,680 That's a great idea. Thanks for askin' us. 477 00:22:13,760 --> 00:22:16,480 Listen, we gotta get to work or we're never gonna be able to pay you back... 478 00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:18,200 for the money that you spent on bringin' us out here, you know? 479 00:22:18,220 --> 00:22:20,120 Trust me. You'll be able to pay me back. 480 00:22:20,240 --> 00:22:22,440 And if you don't wanna sing out of another orifice, 481 00:22:22,560 --> 00:22:27,200 I suggest you don't join the young lady and I for, uh, dinner tonight. 482 00:22:27,320 --> 00:22:29,040 Got that? Understood? 483 00:22:29,680 --> 00:22:31,480 Bring an appetite. 484 00:22:32,400 --> 00:22:35,680 Why do I get the feeling that she's gonna end up being the main course? 485 00:22:35,800 --> 00:22:38,560 Why do I get the feeling that I'm gonna be the main course? 486 00:22:38,680 --> 00:22:41,640 Uh, don't-don't worry about him. I-I'll think of something. 487 00:22:41,720 --> 00:22:44,720 And what about Mack? He hasn't spoken two words to us since last night. 488 00:22:44,800 --> 00:22:47,200 I mean, what are we gonna do? 489 00:22:47,760 --> 00:22:50,280 - I-I don't know. - Well, you go on in less than seven hours. 490 00:22:50,360 --> 00:22:52,280 Mack still dies. We don't know how or when, 491 00:22:52,400 --> 00:22:54,440 but the why has got somethin' to do with DeGorio. 492 00:22:54,520 --> 00:22:56,120 Maybe you should talk to him. 493 00:22:56,240 --> 00:22:58,760 - Well, somebody better. - Maybe he's just right about me, 494 00:22:58,880 --> 00:23:01,840 and I should just go back to the Cocono's in the Poconos, 495 00:23:01,900 --> 00:23:03,190 forget about the whole thing. 496 00:23:03,220 --> 00:23:05,080 - I love that cute rhyme. - No. 497 00:23:05,180 --> 00:23:06,540 Well, I'm breaking up the act. 498 00:23:06,640 --> 00:23:08,480 No, you're not. As a matter of fact, you're... 499 00:23:08,560 --> 00:23:10,140 You're making the act much better. 500 00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:12,400 - No, I'm not. - Yes, you are. Now listen. 501 00:23:12,520 --> 00:23:14,640 There have been a whole lot of duos, 502 00:23:14,720 --> 00:23:17,260 but there's never been a successful trio. 503 00:23:17,880 --> 00:23:19,760 - I don't know... - We could be the first. 504 00:23:19,840 --> 00:23:21,280 We will be the first, 505 00:23:21,520 --> 00:23:23,820 if I can just figure out how to make Mack understand... 506 00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:26,520 that the reason he can't stand you is... because... 507 00:23:26,640 --> 00:23:28,640 - He's in love with you. - He's in love with you. 508 00:23:28,760 --> 00:23:30,360 - Love? - But with Mack, 509 00:23:30,480 --> 00:23:33,400 arguing is like the adult version of pulling pigtails. 510 00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:36,000 See, a lot of guys like Mack, they kind of like, uh... 511 00:23:36,120 --> 00:23:39,560 Well, they think that loving and fighting are kind of the same. 512 00:23:39,680 --> 00:23:42,040 - Yeah? Well, it's not for me. - Me either. 513 00:23:42,120 --> 00:23:44,760 Look, you said you were crazy about him. 514 00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:48,360 You... may have to teach him how to love. 515 00:23:48,440 --> 00:23:51,040 - But he's so angry. - Yeah, well... 516 00:23:51,120 --> 00:23:53,440 After six years of therapy, he'll be fine. 517 00:23:53,560 --> 00:23:55,440 Look, you, uh, go back to your room, okay? 518 00:23:55,520 --> 00:23:56,760 Get freshened up. 519 00:23:56,840 --> 00:23:58,560 I'll find Mack. We'll have a heart-to-heart. 520 00:23:58,680 --> 00:24:00,350 Just make sure you're back here for the 4:00 rehearsal. 521 00:24:00,480 --> 00:24:01,760 Okay. 522 00:24:01,880 --> 00:24:06,240 Oh, and Davey? Uh, don't tell Mack that I love him. 523 00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:10,000 Oh, no. I'll... I'll let you do that. 524 00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:12,080 Okay. 525 00:24:15,240 --> 00:24:18,360 Okay. Okay, Dr. Jung. Huh? 526 00:24:18,440 --> 00:24:21,400 You tell me what's wrong with Mack since you know so much all of a sudden. 527 00:24:21,520 --> 00:24:25,680 Okay. According to Ziggy, uh, Mack has a pattern, see? 528 00:24:25,760 --> 00:24:30,000 Whenever he gets close to success, he changes the act. 529 00:24:30,080 --> 00:24:33,120 Uh, it was Leonard and MacKay in '55, 530 00:24:33,240 --> 00:24:36,240 it was Bonner and MacKay in '56, and now it's you. 531 00:24:36,360 --> 00:24:38,160 - But, um... - But, um? 532 00:24:38,280 --> 00:24:42,040 The bottom line is, Mack is afraid to get close. 533 00:24:42,160 --> 00:24:44,520 - I thought you said he loved her. - Yeah. Oh, yeah. He does. 534 00:24:44,640 --> 00:24:46,560 It's the Woody Allen theory. 535 00:24:46,670 --> 00:24:50,480 Uh, "I don't like myself, so if you like me, you must be a horrible person." 536 00:24:50,600 --> 00:24:52,440 Or maybe that's the Groucho Marx theory. 537 00:24:52,560 --> 00:24:53,800 Am I missing something? 538 00:24:53,880 --> 00:24:56,400 Uh, no. Mack is a little kid. 539 00:24:56,480 --> 00:25:00,240 He needs... He wants attention, but he can't handle being close, 540 00:25:00,360 --> 00:25:03,320 so does all these crazy things to get people to pay attention to him. 541 00:25:03,400 --> 00:25:04,920 Which is why he got into show business. 542 00:25:05,040 --> 00:25:06,160 Yeah. 543 00:25:06,280 --> 00:25:09,700 Then a woman like Frankie comes along... He wants her. She wants him. 544 00:25:09,840 --> 00:25:11,240 Right, right, right. So he... 545 00:25:11,360 --> 00:25:14,600 He's afraid of her, so he starts this huge fight to protect himself. 546 00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:15,760 - Yeah. - Yeah. 547 00:25:15,880 --> 00:25:18,160 Yeah, that keeps Frankie off balance and keeps him in control. 548 00:25:18,280 --> 00:25:20,600 Right. And out of a relationship that could possibly 549 00:25:20,720 --> 00:25:22,520 make him happy for the rest of his life. 550 00:25:22,640 --> 00:25:24,920 Mmm. Go to the head... of the class. 551 00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:27,840 All right. So I'm obviously here to make sure 552 00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:29,480 that Mack and Frankie get together, right? 553 00:25:29,560 --> 00:25:31,480 Well, Ziggy says that there's a 90% chance 554 00:25:31,560 --> 00:25:33,760 that if you play Cupid the act can be a success, 555 00:25:33,880 --> 00:25:37,160 and Mack doesn't end up as plant food, and you leap outta here. 556 00:25:37,240 --> 00:25:39,360 - Okay. I'm gonna go find Mack. - Okay. 557 00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:48,120 {\i1}It had been a long time since I'd had a heart-to-heart with a friend,{\i0} 558 00:25:48,320 --> 00:25:50,080 {\i1}especially over a woman.{\i0} 559 00:25:50,400 --> 00:25:53,200 {\i1}The problem was, Mack wasn't a friend,{\i0} 560 00:25:53,520 --> 00:25:57,560 {\i1}though there were moments... brief moments... I liked him.{\i0} 561 00:25:58,080 --> 00:25:59,400 {\i1}Frankie, on the other hand,{\i0} 562 00:25:59,520 --> 00:26:01,720 {\i1}deserved a lot better treatment than Mack knew how to give.{\i0} 563 00:26:01,920 --> 00:26:05,440 {\i1}I couldn't help wondering whether putting them together was for the best.{\i0} 564 00:26:10,600 --> 00:26:12,120 Got a second? 565 00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:15,320 Hit me. 566 00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:17,360 I would, if I thought it'd do any good. 567 00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:22,040 I got nothin' to say to you, Davey. Hit me again. 568 00:26:22,160 --> 00:26:24,440 W-W-Wait a second. You don't want another card. 569 00:26:24,560 --> 00:26:28,520 Why the hell not? Because you got 18. He's probably got a face card. 570 00:26:30,560 --> 00:26:32,000 Hit me. 571 00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:34,840 - Bust. - Don't you ever listen to anybody? 572 00:26:34,960 --> 00:26:37,800 Yeah. Anybody who doesn't stab me in the back. 573 00:26:41,920 --> 00:26:44,040 Why don't you just admit it, all right? You love her. 574 00:26:44,160 --> 00:26:47,640 - Take a powder. - You love her and you're afraid of her. 575 00:26:48,120 --> 00:26:50,160 Why the hell would I be afraid of a broad? 576 00:26:50,280 --> 00:26:53,080 Because she's beautiful, she's intelligent, 577 00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:54,880 and she's not afraid to stand up to you, 578 00:26:54,960 --> 00:26:56,680 even though you act like an ogre sometimes. 579 00:26:56,780 --> 00:26:58,680 Just because she's got you wearin' sheep for glasses 580 00:26:58,710 --> 00:27:00,100 doesn't make her tough or talented. 581 00:27:00,130 --> 00:27:01,900 - Or beautiful. - So she looks good. 582 00:27:01,970 --> 00:27:03,400 Come on. You're crazy about her, right? 583 00:27:03,440 --> 00:27:04,960 You're nuts. 584 00:27:05,600 --> 00:27:07,800 If I'm so crazy about her, then how come we always fight 585 00:27:07,920 --> 00:27:09,880 every time we're together for more than five minutes? 586 00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:12,040 Well, as far as I can tell, it's because that's the only way 587 00:27:12,120 --> 00:27:14,440 you know how to relate to a woman you're attracted to. 588 00:27:17,880 --> 00:27:21,680 - Yeah, well... She... You... - Yeah? 589 00:27:21,960 --> 00:27:23,440 Why the hell'd you have to go and kiss her? 590 00:27:23,470 --> 00:27:24,550 Actually, she kissed me. 591 00:27:24,590 --> 00:27:25,760 Why'd she have to kiss you? 592 00:27:25,880 --> 00:27:27,080 Because she was trying to get your attention. 593 00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:29,040 Oh, she got my attention. Now everything's ruined. 594 00:27:29,120 --> 00:27:30,480 Nothing is ruined. 595 00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:32,280 Look, Frankie is the kind of a person... 596 00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:35,080 Mack... Look, Mack, she knows how you feel about her. 597 00:27:35,200 --> 00:27:37,840 What she doesn't get is why you treat her like she's... 598 00:27:37,960 --> 00:27:39,480 Like what? Like I'm smart? 599 00:27:39,600 --> 00:27:42,120 What happens if she finds out I'm crazy about her, huh? 600 00:27:42,240 --> 00:27:44,160 Then she-she'll go out with me, and then... 601 00:27:44,280 --> 00:27:45,840 Then we're really gonna like each other, 602 00:27:45,960 --> 00:27:47,840 and then we're gonna wanna see each other all the time, 603 00:27:47,920 --> 00:27:49,800 and then maybe we're gonna end up gettin' married, 604 00:27:49,920 --> 00:27:52,920 and having kids, and then... And then we'll buy a house. 605 00:27:53,040 --> 00:27:54,880 That's when the trouble really starts, too, 606 00:27:54,960 --> 00:27:56,320 'cause there'll be fights over the bills, 607 00:27:56,440 --> 00:27:58,960 then the anger and the hatred, and then, bam, ends up in divorce. 608 00:27:59,080 --> 00:28:01,040 The next thing you know, we don't talk to each other ever again, 609 00:28:01,120 --> 00:28:02,560 - and the kids... - Mack, 610 00:28:02,630 --> 00:28:04,530 why don't you start by asking her out again? 611 00:28:04,580 --> 00:28:05,680 What? 612 00:28:05,720 --> 00:28:09,120 Before you ruin your kids' life, take the first step: Ask her out. 613 00:28:09,440 --> 00:28:11,760 But not until we work everything else out on the act tonight 614 00:28:11,840 --> 00:28:13,860 before we go look like nerds on stage. 615 00:28:13,920 --> 00:28:15,060 Like what? 616 00:28:15,090 --> 00:28:17,860 Never mind. Look, look. Let's just go find Frankie and work on this thing. 617 00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:20,720 Give ourselves a chance. What do you say? 618 00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:24,200 - Okay. - All right. Come on. Let's go. 619 00:28:24,320 --> 00:28:26,520 I, uh... I came in here for a reason. 620 00:28:31,440 --> 00:28:33,440 {\i1}Hi! I'm Dave Parker, your man on the street,{\i0} 621 00:28:33,560 --> 00:28:36,240 - and I'm here today with... - Supergirl! 622 00:28:36,360 --> 00:28:38,000 And I'm Superman. 623 00:28:38,120 --> 00:28:40,560 So, uh, how do you two superheroes have sex? 624 00:28:40,680 --> 00:28:42,760 Um, vertically. 625 00:28:43,680 --> 00:28:45,160 - Switch. - Now walk. 626 00:28:45,190 --> 00:28:46,680 - Now walk, walk, walk. - Oh, that's good. 627 00:28:46,760 --> 00:28:48,320 I like it. Yes, I like it. 628 00:28:48,440 --> 00:28:50,040 - Yes. - Ooh! 629 00:28:53,200 --> 00:28:56,480 Go out. Get like somebody in the audience. Yeah, that's it. 630 00:28:57,760 --> 00:29:01,320 If Burl Ives married Milton Berle, they'd be Burl Berle. 631 00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:02,800 Why do you even bother thinking? 632 00:29:02,880 --> 00:29:04,080 - Hey, it's no bother at all. - Ha. 633 00:29:04,190 --> 00:29:06,590 Why was Ben-Hur a her if he was actually a him? 634 00:29:06,720 --> 00:29:08,360 H-U-R not H-E-R. 635 00:29:08,440 --> 00:29:09,960 There you go again, moving your vowels on stage. 636 00:29:10,080 --> 00:29:11,400 - I got one for you. - Yes? 637 00:29:11,520 --> 00:29:13,000 If you're still listening. 638 00:29:31,960 --> 00:29:34,320 Okay. Okay, we open in 20 minutes. 639 00:29:34,440 --> 00:29:36,000 - 9:30's your curtain. - Okay. 640 00:29:36,120 --> 00:29:38,160 Okay, I'm gonna take a shower and stuff like that, 641 00:29:38,240 --> 00:29:39,840 and I will see you guys back here. 642 00:29:39,960 --> 00:29:42,000 - Uh, Frankie? Um... - Yeah? 643 00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:44,840 I just wanted to tell you, I... I thought you were... 644 00:29:44,950 --> 00:29:47,990 You were really, really great in that, uh, superhero sketch. 645 00:29:48,120 --> 00:29:49,500 You did? Really? 646 00:29:49,640 --> 00:29:51,520 Yeah. It just... It needs a little... 647 00:29:51,920 --> 00:29:54,560 Uh, you're gonna be... No, you're gonna be great tonight. 648 00:29:54,640 --> 00:29:57,640 Thank you, Mack. That means a lot comin' from you. 649 00:29:58,920 --> 00:30:02,920 Look, um... I, uh... About what I said before, I just... 650 00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:05,240 I wanted to tell you that I'm-I'm sor... 651 00:30:05,320 --> 00:30:08,000 Um, I'm s-s-sor... 652 00:30:08,880 --> 00:30:10,160 I'm sorry. 653 00:30:10,240 --> 00:30:13,080 Oh, it's okay. I knew you didn't mean it. 654 00:30:13,840 --> 00:30:16,080 - You did? - Yeah, I did. 655 00:30:18,040 --> 00:30:19,440 Frankie, um... 656 00:30:19,560 --> 00:30:22,560 Look, I've been crazy about you ever since the first time I saw you at Cocono's, 657 00:30:22,680 --> 00:30:25,240 and-and I've been tryin' to find the words, but every time I do, it just... 658 00:30:25,360 --> 00:30:27,240 It's hard, 'cause I... I can't. I stumble. 659 00:30:27,360 --> 00:30:30,280 No, I know. Look, let's just... start over. 660 00:30:32,200 --> 00:30:37,000 Ah, I love happy endings. Don't you? 661 00:30:37,080 --> 00:30:39,240 - Let's leap outta here, huh? - Yeah. 662 00:30:39,560 --> 00:30:41,520 Well, if Macky and Frankie... 663 00:30:41,630 --> 00:30:43,590 If they're all lovey-dovey and everything's gonna be fine, 664 00:30:43,630 --> 00:30:45,080 - the trio's gonna be a hit, then, uh... - Yeah. 665 00:30:45,200 --> 00:30:46,520 I should be leapin' now, right? 666 00:30:46,640 --> 00:30:49,440 Yeah, I... I don't have a good feeling about this. 667 00:30:49,560 --> 00:30:51,360 Why not? What's goin' on? 668 00:30:51,440 --> 00:30:53,320 - Well, I... - What? 669 00:30:53,440 --> 00:30:56,400 Kind of have the same feeling that Pandora's mother must have had... 670 00:30:56,480 --> 00:30:57,560 Frankie. 671 00:30:57,640 --> 00:30:59,600 - When she opened the box. - I have a little somethin' for you. 672 00:31:00,280 --> 00:31:02,320 I'd like you to wear it when I take you to dinner tonight. 673 00:31:02,440 --> 00:31:06,160 And anything else you'd like to wear under it is, of course, optional. 674 00:31:06,840 --> 00:31:09,920 Well, here 'tis. Come on, baby. Try it on. 675 00:31:10,040 --> 00:31:12,360 - You son of a... - No, Mack! 676 00:31:13,200 --> 00:31:15,880 Easy, easy. Mr. MacKay. 677 00:31:16,480 --> 00:31:19,640 You just made a very big career mistake. 678 00:31:21,760 --> 00:31:24,040 You're just like every other woman I've met in my whole life. 679 00:31:24,120 --> 00:31:26,560 You're just... just a user. Another damned user! 680 00:31:26,680 --> 00:31:29,440 - Mack. - Mack! Mack, I wasn't... 681 00:31:30,400 --> 00:31:33,360 Sam, you changed history. Now they don't go on tonight at all. 682 00:31:33,480 --> 00:31:37,760 And Mack's body is found in the desert... 683 00:31:38,320 --> 00:31:40,240 in 1982. 684 00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:45,760 And 1985. And 1989. 685 00:31:47,640 --> 00:31:49,400 He's lizard food. 686 00:31:53,720 --> 00:31:55,440 Why is this happening? 687 00:31:55,520 --> 00:31:58,840 Because Mack's fuse is shorter than his lifeline. 688 00:31:59,320 --> 00:32:02,080 What am I gonna do? Look, you gotta talk to him, okay? 689 00:32:02,160 --> 00:32:04,030 You tell him you had nothin' to do with DeGorio 690 00:32:04,120 --> 00:32:05,640 and his cockamamie dinner fantasy. 691 00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:07,200 What if he doesn't listen to me? 692 00:32:07,320 --> 00:32:09,120 He's in love with her. He'll never listen. 693 00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:10,520 You make him listen. You tell him. 694 00:32:10,640 --> 00:32:12,440 I'm gonna go find DeGorio and try and straighten everything out. 695 00:32:12,560 --> 00:32:14,760 But in the meantime, you make sure that he's here for the show, okay? 696 00:32:14,880 --> 00:32:16,840 Now get going. Go. Go, go, go, go, go! 697 00:32:16,920 --> 00:32:19,680 Okay. I'm gonna go back and run some scenarios, 698 00:32:19,760 --> 00:32:22,280 and maybe Ziggy can piece together what happened. 699 00:32:22,760 --> 00:32:24,600 Uh, no pun intended. 700 00:32:24,680 --> 00:32:26,320 I'll see ya. 701 00:32:28,680 --> 00:32:33,120 Mack! Mack! Come back. I want to talk to you. 702 00:32:33,200 --> 00:32:34,480 Just go away. 703 00:32:34,600 --> 00:32:37,000 No, no, no, no, no. Not until you listen to me. 704 00:32:37,120 --> 00:32:39,440 I don't have to. My eyes have seen the whole picture. 705 00:32:39,560 --> 00:32:42,240 No. I love you, Mack. Damn it! 706 00:32:42,320 --> 00:32:46,840 I did not have any intention of going out with DeGorio or anyone else. 707 00:32:47,680 --> 00:32:49,720 I'm just not buyin' it, Frankie. 708 00:32:50,160 --> 00:32:51,280 Why don't... 709 00:32:51,360 --> 00:32:53,760 Why don't you and Davey just go out there and make it work, okay? 710 00:32:53,840 --> 00:32:56,280 I'm goin' on my own. I don't need him and I definitely don't need you. All right? 711 00:32:56,360 --> 00:32:57,680 Yes, you do. 712 00:32:57,800 --> 00:32:59,520 I can make it on my own. 713 00:33:00,040 --> 00:33:04,960 Okay. Okay, you have the talent... 714 00:33:05,040 --> 00:33:08,200 and God knows you have the guts. 715 00:33:09,120 --> 00:33:13,640 But... who you gonna come home to, Mack? 716 00:33:15,560 --> 00:33:19,440 I... I've... I've got... my plants. 717 00:33:21,640 --> 00:33:24,400 Why are you always running away? 718 00:33:26,480 --> 00:33:28,760 You think you understand me, don't you? 719 00:33:29,520 --> 00:33:30,840 You think you... 720 00:33:30,960 --> 00:33:35,020 You think you know why I keep a safe distance away from women like you. 721 00:33:35,600 --> 00:33:37,120 Yeah? 722 00:33:37,360 --> 00:33:39,440 Yeah? Well, you... Well, you don't. 723 00:33:39,600 --> 00:33:42,400 You don't understand this much about what makes me tick. 724 00:33:43,200 --> 00:33:48,720 Well, I think I understand that when you were a little kid, 725 00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:52,360 maybe those big muscle guy creeps... 726 00:33:52,480 --> 00:33:56,720 used to pick on you and beat up on you 'cause you were a wimp. 727 00:33:57,240 --> 00:34:00,360 And the only way that you could protect yourself and save your butt... 728 00:34:00,480 --> 00:34:03,400 was to make 'em laugh and be funny, 729 00:34:03,520 --> 00:34:05,360 and God, you've been doin' that for so long, 730 00:34:05,440 --> 00:34:07,920 you couldn't stop if you wanted to now, huh? 731 00:34:10,760 --> 00:34:13,000 See? You don't know anything about me. 732 00:34:16,760 --> 00:34:19,040 Why don't you listen to her, Mack? 733 00:34:20,880 --> 00:34:22,920 You don't understand, Davey. 734 00:34:24,120 --> 00:34:26,040 I'll tell you what I understand... 735 00:34:27,400 --> 00:34:30,560 that you're gonna throw away your career... 736 00:34:30,640 --> 00:34:34,200 and a chance at a great relationship in one fell swoop. 737 00:34:34,280 --> 00:34:35,920 And for what? For the... 738 00:34:36,480 --> 00:34:40,240 For the chance to show that everybody else is wrong? 739 00:34:40,760 --> 00:34:42,520 What are you talkin' about? 740 00:34:43,000 --> 00:34:47,040 It just seems to me like you set everybody up to fail, 741 00:34:47,160 --> 00:34:51,800 so that when things go wrong, it's never your fault. 742 00:34:53,200 --> 00:34:56,160 Don't destroy us before we've had a chance. 743 00:34:56,680 --> 00:35:01,680 You gotta trust somebody, Mack. Trust me. 744 00:35:10,640 --> 00:35:12,640 Okay, okay. Enough of the mushy stuff. 745 00:35:12,720 --> 00:35:15,040 Come on. We got a show to do. 746 00:35:15,160 --> 00:35:17,720 - What about DeGorio? - I'm not worried about him. 747 00:35:17,800 --> 00:35:19,280 Well, you should be worried about him, 748 00:35:19,360 --> 00:35:22,240 'cause I don't know a whole lot of dead comics with great careers goin'. 749 00:35:22,360 --> 00:35:24,440 - He's not gonna kill me. - Oh, yes, he is. 750 00:35:24,560 --> 00:35:26,720 Ninety percent chance he doesn't make it to the opening show. 751 00:35:26,840 --> 00:35:28,400 - Where's your tux? - It's in the dressing room. 752 00:35:28,520 --> 00:35:29,800 But I gotta take a shower. 753 00:35:29,920 --> 00:35:31,880 No, no. No showers. We're not takin' any more chances. 754 00:35:31,960 --> 00:35:33,920 Now you go get ready and meet us backstage. 755 00:35:34,000 --> 00:35:35,920 Well, I thought you were gonna talk to DeGorio. 756 00:35:36,040 --> 00:35:37,880 Well, nobody can find him. 757 00:35:38,000 --> 00:35:41,120 His odds are going up, Sam. He still gets killed, but the time frame is shifting. 758 00:35:41,240 --> 00:35:45,080 Listen to me. I told his henchman to meet us backstage between shows, 759 00:35:45,160 --> 00:35:47,440 okay, and we'll talk peace. 760 00:35:47,520 --> 00:35:49,760 Now just go get dressed, all right? Hurry up. 761 00:35:56,000 --> 00:35:59,120 Oh, I feel like I'm gonna throw up. So how do I look? And be honest. 762 00:35:59,200 --> 00:36:01,080 Be totally honest, 'cause I think the beads are too much. 763 00:36:01,200 --> 00:36:03,080 Will you just relax? You look gorgeous. 764 00:36:03,160 --> 00:36:05,640 - Sam, you gotta get outta here. - We gotta do the show. 765 00:36:05,750 --> 00:36:07,400 Okay, as soon as the opening act is done. 766 00:36:07,520 --> 00:36:08,880 DeGorio's gonna grab Mack. 767 00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:10,480 Look, maybe we shouldn't go on. 768 00:36:10,630 --> 00:36:13,030 I don't know who's more nervous, Frankie or you. 769 00:36:13,600 --> 00:36:15,680 Oh, no. Wait now. Now Ziggy... 770 00:36:15,760 --> 00:36:18,480 Now Ziggy's sayin' that you do have to go out and perform, 771 00:36:18,600 --> 00:36:21,880 - because Darryl F. Zanuck... - Huh? 772 00:36:21,960 --> 00:36:25,160 Is in the audience, and he's gonna sign you to a contract, 773 00:36:25,280 --> 00:36:27,040 and then that's how you meet your wife, 774 00:36:27,160 --> 00:36:29,920 and you have three kids, two girls and... Oh, boy. 775 00:36:30,040 --> 00:36:32,440 - Darryl Zanuck? - What? 776 00:36:32,560 --> 00:36:34,360 Uh... Uh... Nothin; 777 00:36:50,600 --> 00:36:53,960 {\i1}Ladies and gentlemen, a nice hand for Maria Rose!{\i0} 778 00:36:54,200 --> 00:36:57,800 {\i1}Yes! Nice job, honey. And now, ladies and gentlemen,{\i0} 779 00:36:57,870 --> 00:36:59,960 {\i1}the luxurious lounge here at the all new,{\i0} 780 00:37:00,080 --> 00:37:02,040 fabulous Las Vegas Golden Sand Hotel... 781 00:37:02,160 --> 00:37:06,240 is proud to present the comedy of Parker, MacKay and Fields! 782 00:37:06,360 --> 00:37:08,000 - Lets give 'em a warm welcome. - Fields? 783 00:37:08,120 --> 00:37:10,200 Oh. Well, I liked Fields the best. 784 00:37:25,400 --> 00:37:27,600 Thank you. You're very, very kind, and you're well-dressed. 785 00:37:27,720 --> 00:37:28,720 Hey! 786 00:37:28,840 --> 00:37:30,760 Now how about takin' all that off? 787 00:37:33,040 --> 00:37:34,320 I oughta belt you. 788 00:37:34,440 --> 00:37:36,320 Well, you don't have to. I got a cummerbund. 789 00:37:36,880 --> 00:37:40,080 That's a nice look too. Did they give you a set of bagpipes with that? 790 00:37:41,640 --> 00:37:43,640 Yes, they're in my pants. 791 00:38:26,680 --> 00:38:31,160 My brother was just released from an asylum today, and before we... 792 00:38:32,560 --> 00:38:36,120 Before I marry you, I only thought it fair to... 793 00:38:36,520 --> 00:38:39,880 show you our horrible family... tree. 794 00:38:42,040 --> 00:38:45,400 Oh, Leonard, you poor man. 795 00:38:46,280 --> 00:38:48,480 Uh... Uh, what a painful secret. 796 00:38:48,600 --> 00:38:51,200 But you know, your secret is safe with me. 797 00:38:51,280 --> 00:38:53,560 It will never leave my lips. 798 00:38:55,520 --> 00:38:56,880 Is something wrong, my dear? 799 00:38:56,960 --> 00:39:00,880 Oh, no. It's just that those were, uh, plastic grapes. 800 00:39:02,720 --> 00:39:05,280 I love plastic grapes. 801 00:39:06,360 --> 00:39:09,080 It's okay, you see, because Arnold loves plastic. 802 00:39:09,200 --> 00:39:10,800 I love anything plastic. 803 00:39:10,920 --> 00:39:13,480 He... He loves anything plastic. 804 00:39:13,600 --> 00:39:16,240 He really does. And I think... 805 00:39:16,320 --> 00:39:19,760 that he really likes you too, my dear. 806 00:39:19,840 --> 00:39:23,120 I really like you. I really, really like you. 807 00:39:45,420 --> 00:39:46,880 We've been Parker... 808 00:39:47,000 --> 00:39:48,920 MacKay... And Fields! 809 00:39:49,120 --> 00:39:50,680 Thank you. 810 00:40:05,670 --> 00:40:08,390 The fabulous comedy stylings of Parker, MacKay and Fields. 811 00:40:08,520 --> 00:40:09,920 Let's bring 'em out one more time, 812 00:40:10,040 --> 00:40:12,600 with a big round of applause for Parker, MacKay and Fields. 813 00:40:13,160 --> 00:40:15,640 Ho! Yeah! 814 00:40:15,960 --> 00:40:17,680 You can't do this. I'm in the middle of a show. 815 00:40:17,800 --> 00:40:19,360 Sam, they're snatchin' Mack! 816 00:40:19,440 --> 00:40:22,040 Two big ugly guys with noses for faces! Hurry up! 817 00:40:22,120 --> 00:40:23,960 They're takin' him down the stairs! 818 00:40:51,960 --> 00:40:54,840 All right. Everybody hold it right there. 819 00:40:54,920 --> 00:40:58,080 Now look, this ain't got nothin' to do with you two. 820 00:40:58,200 --> 00:41:00,480 This is between Mr. MacKay and Mr. DeGorio. 821 00:41:00,600 --> 00:41:03,080 So if you two would just get lost and forget about this, 822 00:41:03,200 --> 00:41:05,200 I'd be more than happy to let you keep breathin'. 823 00:41:05,320 --> 00:41:06,960 Sam, you're all gonna end up dead 824 00:41:07,080 --> 00:41:09,360 unless you do something about this right here and right now. 825 00:41:09,480 --> 00:41:11,400 You know, killin' us isn't gonna solve anything. 826 00:41:11,520 --> 00:41:13,120 Who said anything about killin' anybody? 827 00:41:13,240 --> 00:41:16,520 Oh, so you brought the terminator and his evil twin as an escort service? 828 00:41:16,640 --> 00:41:19,600 Look, if we could just have a conversation with Mr. DeGorio, 829 00:41:19,680 --> 00:41:21,200 I'm sure we could work all this out. 830 00:41:21,320 --> 00:41:25,200 And, uh, what makes you so sure of that? 831 00:41:25,560 --> 00:41:28,600 Joey, it's not too bright to shoot off a gun in the club. 832 00:41:29,760 --> 00:41:33,640 Mr. DeGorio, if you kill Mack tonight, 833 00:41:34,800 --> 00:41:37,880 sooner or later someone is gonna report him missing, 834 00:41:38,280 --> 00:41:40,440 and then everybody's gonna know it was you. 835 00:41:41,240 --> 00:41:46,520 Missing and dead are very different things, Mr. Parker. And no body... 836 00:41:47,400 --> 00:41:48,800 means no charges. 837 00:41:48,880 --> 00:41:51,400 He's right, Sam. Hassles, but no charges. 838 00:41:51,720 --> 00:41:53,560 Yeah, but don't you see that... 839 00:41:55,240 --> 00:41:58,040 none of this would've happened at all if-if... 840 00:41:58,320 --> 00:41:59,720 if you... if you... 841 00:41:59,840 --> 00:42:01,120 - Me? - Yeah. 842 00:42:01,240 --> 00:42:03,240 Be careful. This is a life and death situation. 843 00:42:03,360 --> 00:42:06,280 Yeah, if you had-hadn't come on to... 844 00:42:06,560 --> 00:42:08,250 Mack's fiancée. 845 00:42:08,440 --> 00:42:10,040 Whoa. What was that? 846 00:42:11,280 --> 00:42:14,200 Um... That's right, Mr. DeGorio. 847 00:42:14,320 --> 00:42:17,160 See, that's why I didn't wanna go out with you, because... 848 00:42:17,520 --> 00:42:19,960 because Mack and I are... 849 00:42:23,280 --> 00:42:24,880 Engaged. 850 00:42:25,480 --> 00:42:28,040 Yeah, we're very, very engaged. 851 00:42:35,080 --> 00:42:38,480 Well, why didn't anybody tell me these two were engaged? 852 00:42:41,880 --> 00:42:44,280 Frankie, sweetheart, 853 00:42:44,400 --> 00:42:46,160 I wish you the best. 854 00:42:47,600 --> 00:42:52,240 MacKay... Don't ever hit me again. Now come here. 855 00:42:52,320 --> 00:42:54,640 We're gonna have the wedding at this club, on me. 856 00:42:54,760 --> 00:42:56,360 I'm gonna take you down the aisle. 857 00:42:56,440 --> 00:42:58,800 We're gonna have a band, a party... Joey, I love weddings! 858 00:43:01,640 --> 00:43:06,240 Well, you did it, Sam, and, uh... You got somethin' on your face. 859 00:43:06,480 --> 00:43:07,960 Uh... 860 00:43:08,160 --> 00:43:10,400 Frankie and Mack go on as MacKay and MacKay 861 00:43:10,480 --> 00:43:12,360 and they have a successful nightclub career. 862 00:43:12,440 --> 00:43:15,680 They even have a couple of Broadway hits that they write. 863 00:43:15,840 --> 00:43:20,600 Then they... They move to Connecticut, and, uh, they're still married today. 864 00:43:20,640 --> 00:43:23,720 What-What are... What are... What are you gonna do with that pie? 865 00:43:25,320 --> 00:43:27,480 Sam? Sam? 866 00:43:28,560 --> 00:43:32,160 What are you thinkin' of do-do-doin' with that pie, Sam? Now, come on. 867 00:43:32,360 --> 00:43:34,000 Sam, what are you... What are you... 868 00:43:34,080 --> 00:43:36,480 What are you gonna do with that pie, Sam? You wouldn't... 869 00:43:41,600 --> 00:43:43,120 Um... 870 00:43:43,560 --> 00:43:45,240 Say good night, Gracie. 871 00:44:05,360 --> 00:44:07,000 Hey, sailor. 872 00:44:09,800 --> 00:44:13,000 The ocean makes me feel so sexy. 873 00:44:20,000 --> 00:44:21,600 Oh, boy. 68852

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