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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:22,397 --> 00:00:23,815 RITA: Previously on Doom Patrol... 2 00:00:23,899 --> 00:00:24,942 NILES: There's the painting downstairs. 3 00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:26,693 KIPLING: With those two knob-heads squatting in it, 4 00:00:26,777 --> 00:00:28,987 you might as well have wiped your cock across the Mona Lisa. 5 00:00:29,071 --> 00:00:30,072 VIC: Found your blueprints. 6 00:00:30,155 --> 00:00:32,741 - Does that say "S.T.A.R. Labs"? - VIC: And "Caulder Robotics." 7 00:00:32,824 --> 00:00:35,160 - What part are you playing? - The Blob Lady. 8 00:00:35,244 --> 00:00:36,745 Her resentment of her mother 9 00:00:36,828 --> 00:00:39,873 is the one thing keeping her from what she was always meant to do. 10 00:00:39,957 --> 00:00:41,542 My name is Moscow. 11 00:00:41,625 --> 00:00:43,377 LARRY: You have a Negative Spirit. 12 00:00:43,460 --> 00:00:45,128 MOSCOW: If you ever need a new perspective on Earth, 13 00:00:45,212 --> 00:00:46,630 I highly recommend space. 14 00:00:46,713 --> 00:00:47,548 CLIFF: Who's Miranda? 15 00:00:47,631 --> 00:00:48,882 JANE: She was a primary, like Jane. 16 00:00:50,842 --> 00:00:51,969 Baby Doll! 17 00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:54,179 SECRETARY: A funeral procession seems appropriate. 18 00:00:54,263 --> 00:00:56,682 But there's no evidence we can even be killed. 19 00:00:56,765 --> 00:00:59,726 Not unless you pull a Miranda and throw yourself into the well. 20 00:00:59,810 --> 00:01:01,895 - Miranda. - The one and only. 21 00:01:01,979 --> 00:01:04,022 If you'll kindly step aside as primary... 22 00:01:04,106 --> 00:01:05,482 I'll show you what the girl wants. 23 00:01:08,318 --> 00:01:10,320 DOROTHY: I'm sorry. I'm leaving. 24 00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:12,698 She could unleash a being so powerful 25 00:01:12,781 --> 00:01:15,200 it would cleave the Earth in two. 26 00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:17,494 The kid, she's all right. 27 00:01:17,578 --> 00:01:19,496 - Let's go home. - But we're not going home. 28 00:01:20,998 --> 00:01:21,832 What are you-- 29 00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:23,375 [SCREAMING] 30 00:02:37,741 --> 00:02:39,826 [PHONE RINGING] 31 00:02:59,596 --> 00:03:03,308 EISMANN [ON RECORDING]: You have reached the award-winning Eismann Gallery. 32 00:03:03,392 --> 00:03:07,979 We will be closed due to an acute and unexpected infestation 33 00:03:08,063 --> 00:03:12,025 from the 13th of the month until further notice. 34 00:03:12,109 --> 00:03:13,860 [COUGHING] 35 00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:20,909 Thank you. 36 00:03:20,992 --> 00:03:22,369 [ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS] 37 00:03:30,627 --> 00:03:33,880 [CLIFF SCREAMING] 38 00:03:40,053 --> 00:03:41,179 - [GROANS] - [MOTORS WHIRRING] 39 00:03:42,597 --> 00:03:45,100 I'm going to kill that motherfucker. 40 00:03:47,894 --> 00:03:49,271 My bees. 41 00:03:50,313 --> 00:03:51,356 My bees! 42 00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:53,900 [MUTTERING] 43 00:03:53,984 --> 00:03:56,194 My bees. [MIMICS CRYING] 44 00:03:57,821 --> 00:03:59,239 [MUTTERING] 45 00:03:59,322 --> 00:04:00,323 My bees? 46 00:04:00,407 --> 00:04:01,491 [KNOCK AT DOOR] 47 00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:07,289 [SIGHS] 48 00:04:07,706 --> 00:04:11,418 - Rita! Thank God you're home. - Mickey. 49 00:04:11,501 --> 00:04:12,878 You look a fright. What's the matter? 50 00:04:12,961 --> 00:04:14,629 The long and short of it is, 51 00:04:14,713 --> 00:04:17,048 Isabel got run over by a tractor trailer. 52 00:04:17,132 --> 00:04:18,175 How awful! 53 00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:20,510 I was gonna cancel the show, but then I'd have to 54 00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:22,971 eat the deposit on the theatre and... 55 00:04:23,054 --> 00:04:25,974 What do you say? Can you take over the role of the Blob Lady? 56 00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:29,644 Mickey, a cast is a team. 57 00:04:29,728 --> 00:04:32,022 When one of our ranks falls, it's up to the others 58 00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:34,191 - to carry-- - It's a yes or no question, doll. 59 00:04:34,816 --> 00:04:38,695 Yes! I'd be honored, for the good of the team. 60 00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:39,863 Thanks, kid. 61 00:04:40,572 --> 00:04:41,615 Ah. 62 00:04:41,698 --> 00:04:43,492 WOMAN: You're welcome. 63 00:04:44,409 --> 00:04:45,619 Mother. 64 00:04:45,744 --> 00:04:46,703 [GASPS] 65 00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:49,623 - What are you doing here? - [CHUCKLES] Saving your career. 66 00:04:49,748 --> 00:04:52,334 - What else? - I beg your pardon. 67 00:04:52,417 --> 00:04:54,002 "I beg your pardon." 68 00:04:54,461 --> 00:04:58,799 Don't you dare put on those airs with me, Gertrude Cramp. 69 00:04:59,257 --> 00:05:00,425 I hope you know 70 00:05:00,509 --> 00:05:03,887 you weren't Mickey's first choice to replace that little harpy. 71 00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:06,223 But I changed her mind. 72 00:05:09,059 --> 00:05:10,602 Changed her mind how? 73 00:05:10,894 --> 00:05:13,188 I think we both know the answer to that. 74 00:05:24,115 --> 00:05:25,242 Bullshit! 75 00:05:32,249 --> 00:05:33,250 What's up? 76 00:05:34,084 --> 00:05:35,085 Nothing. 77 00:05:37,546 --> 00:05:38,505 It's just... 78 00:05:39,464 --> 00:05:43,301 when you said you lived with a mummy, I thought you were exaggerating. 79 00:05:43,385 --> 00:05:44,427 [CHUCKLES] 80 00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:45,512 Oh, hell, no. 81 00:05:45,595 --> 00:05:48,515 If anything, I downplayed most of what I told you about this place. 82 00:05:48,598 --> 00:05:49,516 Come on. 83 00:05:49,599 --> 00:05:50,600 Yo, Larry! 84 00:05:53,436 --> 00:05:54,437 You okay? 85 00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:57,607 Not since the early '60s, no. 86 00:05:57,691 --> 00:05:58,733 [CHUCKLES] 87 00:06:01,278 --> 00:06:04,239 - Uh, this is Roni. - Hey. 88 00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:05,699 Hello. 89 00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:09,244 We'll just... 90 00:06:09,327 --> 00:06:10,579 let you keep doing... 91 00:06:11,538 --> 00:06:12,497 whatever. 92 00:06:12,581 --> 00:06:14,040 We're looking for Niles. Know where he is? 93 00:06:14,916 --> 00:06:15,834 Space. 94 00:06:17,002 --> 00:06:18,003 As in "outer"? 95 00:06:19,087 --> 00:06:20,547 Mmm-hmm. 96 00:06:20,630 --> 00:06:21,840 Any idea when he'll be back? 97 00:06:27,512 --> 00:06:28,430 Come on. 98 00:06:30,348 --> 00:06:31,349 Bye. 99 00:06:36,980 --> 00:06:38,023 [SIGHS] 100 00:06:40,692 --> 00:06:41,776 RITA: My bees. 101 00:06:42,611 --> 00:06:43,653 My bees! 102 00:06:44,654 --> 00:06:45,739 My bees. 103 00:06:46,156 --> 00:06:47,741 - My bees? - Hey, Rita! 104 00:06:47,824 --> 00:06:49,659 You have got to try this frittata. 105 00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:52,787 - They will change your life. - This is Roni, by the way. 106 00:06:52,871 --> 00:06:54,497 - Hello. - Hi. 107 00:06:55,332 --> 00:06:56,583 And which one are you? 108 00:06:57,459 --> 00:06:59,169 Oh, my God, you're Rita Farr. 109 00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:04,799 I'm sorry. I'm Miranda. 110 00:07:05,050 --> 00:07:07,510 - Hmm. - Apparently she's an amazing cook. 111 00:07:08,386 --> 00:07:09,471 Where's Jane? 112 00:07:09,554 --> 00:07:11,181 She's taking some time for herself. 113 00:07:11,765 --> 00:07:12,682 Really? 114 00:07:13,558 --> 00:07:15,852 I just can't believe I'm actually talking to you right now. 115 00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:17,354 I'm such a big fan. 116 00:07:19,064 --> 00:07:21,316 Don't be nervous, dear. 117 00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:24,235 Celebrities are just like regular people. 118 00:07:24,319 --> 00:07:26,029 [CHUCKLES] Well, not really. 119 00:07:26,112 --> 00:07:27,280 What's with the getup? 120 00:07:27,364 --> 00:07:31,284 [SIGHS] I'm preparing for a role in a local production. 121 00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:32,953 The Cloverton beekeeper 122 00:07:33,036 --> 00:07:35,997 has graciously agreed to let me shadow her today. 123 00:07:36,081 --> 00:07:39,376 Mmm. I also had to subscribe to her Honey of the Month club. 124 00:07:40,669 --> 00:07:43,296 Are those pancakes I see? 125 00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:44,839 I made them special for Dorothy... 126 00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:47,050 as a peace offering. 127 00:07:47,258 --> 00:07:49,344 I want her to know that everyone in the Underground 128 00:07:49,427 --> 00:07:51,596 wants to find a way to work through this, together. 129 00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:53,890 - What's the Underground? - It's a place, uh... 130 00:07:54,891 --> 00:07:55,767 inside Jane's mind. 131 00:07:55,934 --> 00:07:57,686 Anyone know where Dorothy is? 132 00:07:57,769 --> 00:07:59,062 Yeah, space. 133 00:07:59,270 --> 00:08:00,271 Chief's on it. 134 00:08:00,355 --> 00:08:01,356 Oh. 135 00:08:01,606 --> 00:08:02,691 I best be off. 136 00:08:05,276 --> 00:08:06,111 Okay. 137 00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:09,155 Okay, I've seen a lot of shit. 138 00:08:09,614 --> 00:08:10,615 But this? 139 00:08:11,533 --> 00:08:12,826 Y'all ain't right. 140 00:08:13,743 --> 00:08:15,912 I wish I could say you get used to it, but... 141 00:08:16,579 --> 00:08:17,789 [DOORBELL RINGS] 142 00:08:20,709 --> 00:08:21,835 LARRY: What is it? 143 00:08:23,128 --> 00:08:24,254 It's a crate, Larry. 144 00:08:30,969 --> 00:08:33,805 [ALL SNIFFING] 145 00:08:43,231 --> 00:08:45,650 Did anyone else just feel something weird go up their nose? 146 00:08:46,276 --> 00:08:48,445 Or is that some status quo shit around here, too? 147 00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:49,612 - I felt it. - Yeah. 148 00:08:49,696 --> 00:08:50,613 Okay. 149 00:08:51,781 --> 00:08:53,491 Let's open this bad boy up and see what's what. 150 00:08:53,575 --> 00:08:54,492 Wait. 151 00:08:54,576 --> 00:08:58,413 It says "do not open" on the front 152 00:08:58,496 --> 00:09:00,123 and on the side... 153 00:09:00,749 --> 00:09:01,833 and on the back. 154 00:09:01,916 --> 00:09:04,169 Maybe we should wait for Niles. Yeah. 155 00:09:06,004 --> 00:09:07,213 Yeah, I'm with Vic. 156 00:09:07,297 --> 00:09:09,090 I can't explain it, but it... 157 00:09:09,174 --> 00:09:12,218 It feels like a really good idea to open that crate. 158 00:09:12,302 --> 00:09:14,179 Yeah. Me, too. 159 00:09:14,637 --> 00:09:16,014 Well, let's get this party started. 160 00:09:16,097 --> 00:09:16,973 Wait. 161 00:09:22,228 --> 00:09:24,022 Is that the painting that ate Danny? 162 00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:25,440 Hold up. 163 00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:27,984 Where's Mr. Nobody and the Beard Hunter? 164 00:09:31,237 --> 00:09:32,489 That's too bad. 165 00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:34,699 I was really looking forward to catching up with those guys. 166 00:09:34,783 --> 00:09:37,035 Yeah, that would have been nice. 167 00:09:41,206 --> 00:09:43,958 NILES: Slept all the way through our landing, didn't you? 168 00:09:44,667 --> 00:09:46,294 Dream well, dear girl. 169 00:09:47,962 --> 00:09:49,130 I'll be back. 170 00:10:27,377 --> 00:10:28,461 CLIFF: Fine! 171 00:10:29,087 --> 00:10:30,213 I'll fucking walk. 172 00:10:33,550 --> 00:10:36,970 Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! 173 00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:40,557 Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! 174 00:10:41,307 --> 00:10:43,143 Goddamn, mother... Piece of shit. 175 00:10:44,936 --> 00:10:46,229 I'm going to kill him. 176 00:10:46,604 --> 00:10:47,730 I'm gonna kill him. 177 00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:51,317 I am going to kill... 178 00:10:54,362 --> 00:10:55,738 What the fuck? 179 00:10:56,030 --> 00:10:58,116 Stupid! Fuck! 180 00:10:58,908 --> 00:11:00,076 I'm going to kill him. 181 00:11:00,535 --> 00:11:04,330 I'm gonna kill that bird, then I'm gonna fucking kill him. 182 00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:12,589 RITA: Good morning. 183 00:11:14,299 --> 00:11:15,258 Morning. 184 00:11:16,301 --> 00:11:17,677 You must be the actress. 185 00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:19,762 Actress, storyteller, 186 00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:22,515 student of character. Pleasure to meet you. 187 00:11:23,933 --> 00:11:28,229 - Are they gonna have real bees on stage? - No, I don't think so. 188 00:11:28,313 --> 00:11:29,814 Don't need the outfit, then. 189 00:11:29,898 --> 00:11:32,400 A ballerina doesn't wear a tutu to a bowling alley. 190 00:11:32,483 --> 00:11:34,027 Terrific point. 191 00:11:35,069 --> 00:11:37,947 - What you writing? - I like to take notes. 192 00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:41,284 Every bit helps me prepare for my monologue. 193 00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:42,702 Monologue? 194 00:11:43,161 --> 00:11:46,581 The script you sent me only had one line. "My bees." 195 00:11:46,664 --> 00:11:49,876 Why say it in one line when you can say it in seven? 196 00:11:49,959 --> 00:11:52,420 There is so much more to your story, I know it. 197 00:11:52,503 --> 00:11:53,463 Not really. 198 00:11:53,755 --> 00:11:55,089 The only reason I'm in this... 199 00:11:55,173 --> 00:11:57,300 Rhiannon, where you think you're going? 200 00:11:57,383 --> 00:11:58,843 Don't forget that honey jar. 201 00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:07,268 Got to give Mr. Fusco something sweet so that you don't flunk biology again! 202 00:12:08,978 --> 00:12:10,271 You really shouldn't do that. 203 00:12:11,648 --> 00:12:13,900 - Do what? - That. The honey. 204 00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:17,153 Using bribery to open doors for your daughter. 205 00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:20,323 Trust me, that girl's as dumb as shit. 206 00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:22,700 Ain't no jar of honey gonna get her into Yale. 207 00:12:22,784 --> 00:12:24,285 She's your daughter! 208 00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:26,663 How dare you say that about her? 209 00:12:27,372 --> 00:12:30,500 She's more than just a honey jar. 210 00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,418 She is a person... 211 00:12:32,502 --> 00:12:34,587 with hopes and dreams... 212 00:12:36,047 --> 00:12:37,090 and potential. 213 00:12:39,008 --> 00:12:40,677 Not bad, Ms. Monologue. 214 00:12:41,177 --> 00:12:42,762 That coffee tastes like piss. 215 00:12:42,845 --> 00:12:44,806 I'm gonna get a beer. You want a beer? 216 00:12:45,473 --> 00:12:47,308 - Mmm. - Yeah. 217 00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:54,482 [LARRY SIGHING] 218 00:12:56,943 --> 00:12:58,111 Everything all right, Larry? 219 00:12:58,194 --> 00:12:59,529 LARRY: Well, not really. 220 00:12:59,612 --> 00:13:02,198 Look, I don't like to burden people with my problems. 221 00:13:04,450 --> 00:13:06,452 But you seem like someone I can really open up to. 222 00:13:06,703 --> 00:13:07,829 You know? 223 00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:09,497 [SIGHS] 224 00:13:09,580 --> 00:13:13,584 My grandson is in the hospital and my family doesn't want me to see him, 225 00:13:14,585 --> 00:13:17,297 mostly because I'm the reason he's in the hospital. 226 00:13:17,380 --> 00:13:18,214 Mmm. 227 00:13:20,925 --> 00:13:23,886 Your family will understand... in time. 228 00:13:24,262 --> 00:13:26,055 You just have to give them a little space. 229 00:13:26,597 --> 00:13:28,141 [LARRY SIGHS] 230 00:13:28,224 --> 00:13:29,058 Yup. 231 00:13:29,892 --> 00:13:31,060 I should go visit them. 232 00:13:31,728 --> 00:13:32,687 You could. 233 00:13:32,770 --> 00:13:36,607 But that would be the opposite of giving them space. 234 00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:38,609 Ah. 235 00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:45,241 Jane once told me 236 00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:47,910 never to ask her other personas for favors... 237 00:13:48,369 --> 00:13:50,621 but you just seem so sweet 238 00:13:50,705 --> 00:13:53,374 and I really need to talk to Flit, right now. 239 00:13:56,252 --> 00:13:57,337 Of course. 240 00:14:03,426 --> 00:14:05,386 Hi, I'm here to visit Dex Trainor. 241 00:14:08,806 --> 00:14:09,932 Sorry. 242 00:14:10,016 --> 00:14:11,893 The family isn't taking any visitors right now. 243 00:14:11,976 --> 00:14:14,145 - No, it's okay. I'm his grandfather-- - AGENT: Freeze! 244 00:14:14,228 --> 00:14:16,105 - LARRY: Oh, shit. - AGENT: Hands behind your heads! 245 00:14:16,773 --> 00:14:19,150 - Get down on your knees! - One sec. I got an idea. 246 00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:26,199 [SIGHS] Maybe this was a mistake. 247 00:14:26,282 --> 00:14:29,577 Now my family hates me. The Bureau of Normalcy is hunting me. 248 00:14:29,660 --> 00:14:31,954 I could never just walk in to a hospital. 249 00:14:36,042 --> 00:14:37,210 Unless... 250 00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:56,479 Hello, I'm Dr. Larry Trainor 251 00:14:56,562 --> 00:14:58,773 and I'm here to check on my grand... Um... 252 00:14:58,856 --> 00:15:00,358 - I mean, patient. - Patient. 253 00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:02,985 Dex Trainor. 254 00:15:03,111 --> 00:15:05,613 Could you remind me where he's being treated? 255 00:15:05,863 --> 00:15:07,698 Um... Stat. 256 00:15:07,782 --> 00:15:10,118 [CHUCKLES] 257 00:15:10,201 --> 00:15:11,369 Don't worry. 258 00:15:11,452 --> 00:15:13,830 They're never going to see through our disguise. 259 00:15:14,372 --> 00:15:16,666 - [GUNS COCKING] - LARRY: Um... 260 00:15:17,083 --> 00:15:18,292 Flit? 261 00:15:18,668 --> 00:15:20,545 - AGENT 1: Are you kidding me? - AGENT 2: Fuck. 262 00:15:27,385 --> 00:15:28,553 Hold up, wait. 263 00:15:29,011 --> 00:15:30,638 - We can't do this right now. - Why not? 264 00:15:30,721 --> 00:15:32,140 Because we came here to try and fix you. 265 00:15:32,223 --> 00:15:35,268 Well, yeah, but your grandpa... 266 00:15:35,351 --> 00:15:36,561 dad... 267 00:15:36,644 --> 00:15:39,188 friend, he's not here. Remember? 268 00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:41,023 - He's in space. - It doesn't matter. We don't need him. 269 00:15:41,107 --> 00:15:42,650 He's actually a pretty bad scientist. 270 00:15:43,234 --> 00:15:46,154 And I'm carrying around the most advanced AI system on the planet. 271 00:15:47,530 --> 00:15:48,739 I can fix you myself. 272 00:15:50,158 --> 00:15:51,200 What's up? 273 00:15:52,618 --> 00:15:55,371 Well, Vic's just offered to perform surgery on me. 274 00:15:57,498 --> 00:15:58,708 Like, himself? 275 00:16:00,168 --> 00:16:02,420 - Anything we can do to help? - Hell, yeah. 276 00:16:02,879 --> 00:16:04,922 - You're already dressed like doctors. - [GASPS] 277 00:16:05,006 --> 00:16:06,340 [BLOWTORCH BUZZING] 278 00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:08,551 You ready? 279 00:16:09,594 --> 00:16:10,553 Booyah. 280 00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:11,721 Booyah. 281 00:16:12,013 --> 00:16:13,723 Should probably get you something to bite down on first. 282 00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:15,641 - Good idea. - Hey, again. 283 00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:18,102 Sorry, I know I'm new. 284 00:16:18,686 --> 00:16:21,314 But are you guys absolutely sure this is a good idea? 285 00:16:21,397 --> 00:16:22,231 Yes. 286 00:16:22,315 --> 00:16:24,442 I've never been more certain of anything in my whole life. 287 00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:27,069 It just seems... 288 00:16:27,153 --> 00:16:30,072 that everyone, including Flit, 289 00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:32,450 has been acting strangely since this morning. 290 00:16:36,787 --> 00:16:38,080 You're right, Nicer-Jane. 291 00:16:38,289 --> 00:16:39,624 I have been acting strangely. 292 00:16:40,374 --> 00:16:41,417 But I think I know why. 293 00:16:42,919 --> 00:16:43,878 Roni, 294 00:16:43,961 --> 00:16:45,505 I know we haven't been dating very long, 295 00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:48,758 and we've only slept together two and a half times... 296 00:16:48,841 --> 00:16:50,551 but I just can't pretend anymore. 297 00:16:51,886 --> 00:16:52,845 I love you. 298 00:16:53,846 --> 00:16:54,847 [CHUCKLES] 299 00:16:55,181 --> 00:16:56,474 Aw. 300 00:16:57,225 --> 00:16:59,143 Cut me open, you big softy. 301 00:17:00,311 --> 00:17:02,396 KIPLING: Oh, you fucking twats. 302 00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:07,860 You did it, didn't you? You opened the box. 303 00:17:07,944 --> 00:17:11,531 The one that's marked "do not open" on the front, 304 00:17:11,614 --> 00:17:13,324 the back and the sides. 305 00:17:13,407 --> 00:17:15,743 All-caps. Underlined. 306 00:17:15,826 --> 00:17:18,454 I thought it was more of a suggestion as opposed to a hard rule. 307 00:17:18,538 --> 00:17:20,540 - Anyone else infected? - Infected? 308 00:17:20,623 --> 00:17:21,457 With What? 309 00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:23,626 - The love bug. - The love bug. [CHUCKLES] 310 00:17:27,129 --> 00:17:28,130 Scants. 311 00:17:28,464 --> 00:17:31,676 The painting was crawling with them when we traded it to Horst Eismann, 312 00:17:31,759 --> 00:17:32,843 only we didn't know it. 313 00:17:32,927 --> 00:17:35,263 Now, that old Swiss bastard's entire collection 314 00:17:35,346 --> 00:17:36,472 is crawling with the buggers. 315 00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:39,809 Only way to clear 'em out is to kill the queen. 316 00:17:39,892 --> 00:17:40,726 If I don't, 317 00:17:40,810 --> 00:17:44,814 Eismann's gonna feed my ass to a zombified alicorn. What? 318 00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:46,983 First of all, nice butthole? 319 00:17:47,441 --> 00:17:48,526 Really makes your eyes pop. 320 00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:51,237 And second, what exactly are Scants? 321 00:17:51,487 --> 00:17:54,532 Niles has an old Templar slideshow in the study. 322 00:17:54,615 --> 00:17:56,701 It'll tell you everything you need to know. 323 00:17:59,662 --> 00:18:03,332 Now, just sit tight and watch telly until Mommy gets back. 324 00:18:03,416 --> 00:18:04,417 All right, loves? 325 00:18:05,793 --> 00:18:07,628 God help you morons. 326 00:18:11,007 --> 00:18:12,842 MAN: Scants and you. 327 00:18:14,135 --> 00:18:15,761 Have you ever seen a Scant? 328 00:18:16,012 --> 00:18:19,640 Well, I have and I'd like to tell you all about them. 329 00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:23,686 Scants are pink humanoid pests. 330 00:18:23,811 --> 00:18:25,980 Odd-looking fellows, aren't they? 331 00:18:27,064 --> 00:18:30,735 Scants adhere to a social hierarchy similar to bees. 332 00:18:30,818 --> 00:18:34,614 There's a queen and the faithful drones that serve her. 333 00:18:34,697 --> 00:18:38,451 Just how do they serve her? I'm so glad you asked. 334 00:18:38,826 --> 00:18:41,078 Scants place bad ideas in your head. 335 00:18:41,370 --> 00:18:44,415 When your brain accepts the bad ideas as good ideas, 336 00:18:45,041 --> 00:18:49,837 a pink viscous substance called Idyat secretes from your ears. 337 00:18:50,171 --> 00:18:53,007 Idyat, however, is only visible to Scants. 338 00:18:53,507 --> 00:18:58,137 The Scants harvest the Idyat and refine it into its most potent form, 339 00:18:58,220 --> 00:18:59,930 known as Uma Jelly. 340 00:19:00,890 --> 00:19:03,476 The queen then feeds upon the Uma Jelly, 341 00:19:03,559 --> 00:19:06,479 which gives her a variety of extraordinary powers. 342 00:19:06,896 --> 00:19:09,815 The only way to clear a Scant infestation 343 00:19:09,899 --> 00:19:11,651 is to kill the queen. 344 00:19:11,984 --> 00:19:14,362 If you discover a Scant infestation, 345 00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:17,406 under no circumstances should you approach it 346 00:19:18,074 --> 00:19:20,409 unless you have the proper equipment. 347 00:19:21,077 --> 00:19:24,330 Becoming infected by Scants is extremely dangerous, 348 00:19:24,413 --> 00:19:27,708 as the bad ideas will compound and lead to death... 349 00:19:28,042 --> 00:19:29,251 dismemberment... 350 00:19:29,669 --> 00:19:31,087 and more death. 351 00:19:31,420 --> 00:19:32,922 Thank you for your kind attention. 352 00:19:33,047 --> 00:19:36,926 We here at the Knights Templar hope you have a wonderful, Scant-free day. 353 00:19:37,802 --> 00:19:39,303 This makes so much sense. 354 00:19:40,221 --> 00:19:41,847 You guys are infected. 355 00:19:42,223 --> 00:19:43,933 I don't think so. 356 00:19:44,642 --> 00:19:45,643 What? 357 00:19:46,352 --> 00:19:49,271 You were about to operate on Roni. 358 00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:52,233 - He had a lab coat on. - Good thing we did. 359 00:19:52,316 --> 00:19:54,026 Now we can help Willoughby kill the Scant queen. 360 00:19:54,110 --> 00:19:55,319 Yes! Great idea. 361 00:19:55,611 --> 00:19:57,488 Vic. Larry. 362 00:19:57,571 --> 00:20:00,408 I applaud your heroic spirit. 363 00:20:01,242 --> 00:20:04,829 But I think it's best if we sit this one out. 364 00:20:04,912 --> 00:20:05,746 Miranda. 365 00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:08,207 You're great. 366 00:20:08,582 --> 00:20:11,043 Like, really, really great. 367 00:20:11,127 --> 00:20:12,461 You are so great. 368 00:20:14,255 --> 00:20:16,924 But we're gonna need more of a can-do attitude from you. 369 00:20:23,389 --> 00:20:24,223 Okay. 370 00:20:24,432 --> 00:20:25,641 - We'll do it. - Yes! 371 00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:28,060 But before we go into that painting, 372 00:20:28,144 --> 00:20:30,187 we should come up with a plan, first. 373 00:20:30,271 --> 00:20:31,272 Yeah. 374 00:20:33,399 --> 00:20:34,567 MIRANDA: Okay. 375 00:20:39,822 --> 00:20:40,823 Guys? 376 00:21:21,739 --> 00:21:24,200 - [EERIE WHISPERING] - [CROWS CAWING] 377 00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:37,046 [WHISPERING] 378 00:21:46,430 --> 00:21:47,932 Fuck, fuck! 379 00:21:48,557 --> 00:21:50,142 Fucker ejects me into space? 380 00:21:51,143 --> 00:21:52,561 What kind of person does that? 381 00:21:52,978 --> 00:21:54,647 An asshole person, that's who! 382 00:21:55,815 --> 00:21:58,317 He has no business looking after a kid. None! 383 00:21:58,400 --> 00:22:01,195 I ought to do Dorothy and the entire planet a favor 384 00:22:01,278 --> 00:22:03,364 by killing the shit out of him. 385 00:22:03,948 --> 00:22:06,325 Yeah, first I'll eject him into space, 386 00:22:06,408 --> 00:22:09,411 then I'll find his stupid body, rip off his stupid head 387 00:22:09,495 --> 00:22:11,872 and take a mother of all craps down his neck-hole. 388 00:22:13,290 --> 00:22:15,251 Except I can't shit any more. 389 00:22:15,334 --> 00:22:16,919 Shit! Okay. New plan! 390 00:22:17,002 --> 00:22:21,006 Eject him into space, find his body and a Great Dane with giardia, 391 00:22:21,090 --> 00:22:24,051 and have it take a shit down his neck-hole! Yes! 392 00:22:24,134 --> 00:22:25,553 Revenge by Marmaduke. 393 00:22:25,636 --> 00:22:26,929 It's happening! 394 00:22:27,888 --> 00:22:28,889 The fuck? 395 00:22:31,517 --> 00:22:32,852 The fucking fuck? 396 00:22:33,352 --> 00:22:34,562 Okay, okay, it's stuck. 397 00:22:34,645 --> 00:22:36,105 First time something like this has happened. 398 00:22:36,188 --> 00:22:38,357 [MUTTERING] 399 00:22:42,611 --> 00:22:43,487 Okay. 400 00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:45,239 Here we go. 401 00:22:46,115 --> 00:22:47,116 Come on. 402 00:22:47,199 --> 00:22:48,534 [GRUNTING] 403 00:22:48,617 --> 00:22:51,287 Move, you stupid asshole legs. 404 00:22:51,537 --> 00:22:54,123 Motherfucker! 405 00:22:59,670 --> 00:23:03,007 Seeing one's mother as a sexual being is traumatic enough. 406 00:23:03,799 --> 00:23:06,552 Seeing her get rigorously boffed by one's producer 407 00:23:06,635 --> 00:23:08,846 - is a whole other basket of cheese. - I'll bet. 408 00:23:09,179 --> 00:23:11,098 Look, I'm no big city headshrinker, 409 00:23:11,390 --> 00:23:12,683 but the way I see it, 410 00:23:12,766 --> 00:23:16,270 you're suffering from a whopping case of imposter syndrome. 411 00:23:16,353 --> 00:23:19,106 Believe me, I'm aware. 412 00:23:19,189 --> 00:23:22,359 What I can't figure out is how to just move past it. 413 00:23:22,443 --> 00:23:25,613 It might help if you saw things through your mom's eyes, for a minute. 414 00:23:26,030 --> 00:23:27,615 I highly doubt it. 415 00:23:27,698 --> 00:23:30,075 Humor me. See, what people don't realize 416 00:23:30,159 --> 00:23:32,786 is that their moms are just as stupid as they are. 417 00:23:32,870 --> 00:23:35,706 But because they squeezed a human being through their pee-hole 418 00:23:35,789 --> 00:23:38,167 they expect them to be super-human. 419 00:23:38,834 --> 00:23:41,253 My, what a way with words you have. 420 00:23:41,921 --> 00:23:44,298 A mom can love a kid to the moon and back, 421 00:23:44,381 --> 00:23:46,592 but it doesn't mean that she knows how to express it 422 00:23:46,842 --> 00:23:48,677 in healthy and constructive ways. 423 00:23:49,219 --> 00:23:53,307 So when your mom boffed that producer, 424 00:23:53,390 --> 00:23:55,476 she didn't realize that she was shackling you 425 00:23:55,559 --> 00:23:57,645 with chronic self-doubt. 426 00:23:58,646 --> 00:24:00,648 I believe she did it because she loved you. 427 00:24:01,357 --> 00:24:02,650 So that's it? 428 00:24:02,733 --> 00:24:06,362 We're just supposed to endure the toxic stupidity of our mothers? 429 00:24:06,445 --> 00:24:09,907 Well, you could... give her a call and tell her how you feel. 430 00:24:10,699 --> 00:24:12,326 She's been dead for ages. 431 00:24:12,409 --> 00:24:14,703 - Oh. - She went peacefully in her sleep. 432 00:24:14,787 --> 00:24:16,205 Unfortunately. 433 00:24:18,082 --> 00:24:19,875 Well, in that case, you need a surrogate. 434 00:24:20,042 --> 00:24:21,251 For what, precisely? 435 00:24:21,335 --> 00:24:22,503 To yell at, dummy. 436 00:24:22,962 --> 00:24:25,839 To say all the crap that you want to dump on your mother. 437 00:24:25,923 --> 00:24:27,383 You want me to yell at you? 438 00:24:27,466 --> 00:24:28,717 No, not me. 439 00:24:29,802 --> 00:24:30,886 "My bees." 440 00:24:31,929 --> 00:24:33,973 You want me to scream at your bees? 441 00:24:34,139 --> 00:24:35,808 It ain't gonna hurt their feelings none. 442 00:24:36,058 --> 00:24:38,018 You can't believe how cathartic it is. 443 00:24:38,435 --> 00:24:40,479 Sometimes I think that's the only thing that's keeping me 444 00:24:40,562 --> 00:24:42,398 from killing that dumb-as-shit kid of mine. 445 00:24:55,995 --> 00:24:56,996 Hey! 446 00:24:58,038 --> 00:24:58,872 Hey. 447 00:24:59,456 --> 00:25:01,291 I know I'm new to the group, 448 00:25:01,375 --> 00:25:04,420 and I don't know how you handle things like this. 449 00:25:04,503 --> 00:25:07,673 Well, typically we just kind of wing it and everything works out. 450 00:25:07,756 --> 00:25:12,845 And, under typical circumstances, I'm sure that's a fine way to go. 451 00:25:12,928 --> 00:25:15,264 And... I'm sorry to keep harping on this, 452 00:25:15,347 --> 00:25:17,725 but you guys are infected with bad ideas. 453 00:25:18,142 --> 00:25:22,479 So any strong urges you might be having are probably not good. 454 00:25:22,563 --> 00:25:23,397 Shh! 455 00:25:26,650 --> 00:25:27,609 Beard Hunter? 456 00:25:29,778 --> 00:25:30,696 Cyborg! 457 00:25:32,656 --> 00:25:34,783 - How the heck can you see me? - Hey, what's up, man? 458 00:25:35,034 --> 00:25:36,744 How you doing? 459 00:25:37,244 --> 00:25:38,495 - How am I? - Yeah. 460 00:25:38,579 --> 00:25:39,413 Well, you know, 461 00:25:39,496 --> 00:25:41,040 I've been stuck in this frigging painting, 462 00:25:41,123 --> 00:25:44,084 being hunted by tiny pink eunuchs, so... 463 00:25:45,085 --> 00:25:46,128 How are you? 464 00:25:46,211 --> 00:25:47,671 Amazing. I'm in love. 465 00:25:48,213 --> 00:25:49,214 With her. 466 00:25:49,965 --> 00:25:51,592 If we can just keep it down, for cripes' sake, 467 00:25:51,675 --> 00:25:53,052 it's a little sketch in here. 468 00:25:53,135 --> 00:25:54,178 Hey, where's Mr. Nobody? 469 00:25:54,470 --> 00:25:56,138 Oh, yeah, I would love to meet him. 470 00:25:56,221 --> 00:26:00,768 Yeah, well, you know, he got a gig on some animated bullcrap, 471 00:26:00,851 --> 00:26:03,520 so haven't seen him since. 472 00:26:03,812 --> 00:26:05,230 Are you infected, too? 473 00:26:05,314 --> 00:26:06,482 [SCOFFS] 474 00:26:06,565 --> 00:26:07,900 With Scants? 475 00:26:07,983 --> 00:26:09,401 [CHUCKLING] 476 00:26:11,570 --> 00:26:12,821 No way, Jose. 477 00:26:13,155 --> 00:26:16,658 So, you thought it was a good idea to just paint the front of your body? 478 00:26:18,368 --> 00:26:19,620 Pardon me, gentlemen. 479 00:26:19,995 --> 00:26:21,830 Listen, little lady. 480 00:26:21,914 --> 00:26:24,541 I'm a self-trained Shinobi warrior 481 00:26:24,625 --> 00:26:27,503 and a semi semi-professional Fortnite streamer. 482 00:26:27,586 --> 00:26:28,962 Okay? 483 00:26:29,046 --> 00:26:30,672 So if anyone knows how to stay hidden... 484 00:26:33,634 --> 00:26:35,344 Oh, shit. Scants. 485 00:26:35,427 --> 00:26:37,596 Get behind me, quickly. Quickly, quickly. 486 00:26:37,679 --> 00:26:39,598 Quicker than that. Help her, she's slow. 487 00:26:40,307 --> 00:26:41,850 Don't move. If they see us, we're all dead. 488 00:26:41,934 --> 00:26:43,393 [SCANTS CHANTING] 489 00:26:51,819 --> 00:26:54,071 - Excuse me. - What are you doing? 490 00:26:54,363 --> 00:26:56,031 Excuse me. Hi. 491 00:26:56,573 --> 00:26:57,866 I'm Dr. Larry Trainor. 492 00:26:58,617 --> 00:27:00,494 No. No, that's not right. 493 00:27:00,577 --> 00:27:02,371 Don't worry, guys, I got this. 494 00:27:03,122 --> 00:27:05,082 Name's Vic, aka Cyborg. 495 00:27:05,457 --> 00:27:07,292 We're a rag-tag group of misfit superheroes 496 00:27:07,376 --> 00:27:08,877 hoping to kill your queen. 497 00:27:09,503 --> 00:27:10,879 Can we follow you to your hive? 498 00:27:13,257 --> 00:27:15,467 Guys, we should start running. 499 00:27:16,635 --> 00:27:17,594 [SCANTS CHANTING] 500 00:27:17,678 --> 00:27:18,804 Nah, it's cool. 501 00:27:18,887 --> 00:27:20,305 They're totally gonna let us follow them. 502 00:27:20,389 --> 00:27:22,099 Because they're taking us hostage. 503 00:27:22,182 --> 00:27:23,350 Come on, you guys. 504 00:27:23,517 --> 00:27:24,601 Keep up. 505 00:27:25,936 --> 00:27:26,937 Okay. 506 00:27:34,069 --> 00:27:36,655 Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! 507 00:27:37,281 --> 00:27:38,532 Can't fucking move! 508 00:27:38,866 --> 00:27:41,243 Can't fucking kill the Chief if I can't fucking move. 509 00:27:41,994 --> 00:27:44,413 Can't get my fucking movement fixed if I fucking kill the Chief. 510 00:27:44,746 --> 00:27:45,747 Fuck! 511 00:27:46,498 --> 00:27:47,749 Whoa! 512 00:27:47,833 --> 00:27:48,959 No way! 513 00:27:49,126 --> 00:27:50,502 A talking statue? 514 00:27:50,586 --> 00:27:53,130 I'm not a fucking statue. I'm a fucking robot. 515 00:27:53,213 --> 00:27:54,464 Whoa. Robot? 516 00:27:55,007 --> 00:27:56,008 Can you move? 517 00:27:56,300 --> 00:27:58,343 Not at the moment. 518 00:27:58,427 --> 00:27:59,678 I don't know, dawg. 519 00:27:59,761 --> 00:28:01,346 Sounds like something a statue would say. 520 00:28:01,430 --> 00:28:02,431 [GRUMBLING] 521 00:28:02,514 --> 00:28:04,433 - What the-- - [CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING] 522 00:28:04,516 --> 00:28:08,187 - [CHUCKLES] Lit. - Hey... my dude. Could I use your phone? 523 00:28:08,729 --> 00:28:11,106 Maybe so, my friend. Yeah, maybe so. 524 00:28:11,648 --> 00:28:13,442 But first, could I get you doing a quick shout-out 525 00:28:13,525 --> 00:28:15,527 to my boy Double Grapes? He's gonna trip. 526 00:28:15,611 --> 00:28:16,695 What? No! 527 00:28:16,778 --> 00:28:19,573 Dude, just let me use your fucking phone. Please? 528 00:28:21,575 --> 00:28:25,204 What up, Double Grapes? It's me, Robotman. 529 00:28:25,370 --> 00:28:28,999 Congratulations on making bail again. One love. 530 00:28:29,082 --> 00:28:31,210 [LINE RINGING] 531 00:28:31,793 --> 00:28:34,630 Pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up. 532 00:28:34,713 --> 00:28:36,673 [PHONE RINGING] 533 00:28:38,133 --> 00:28:39,927 [MOANING IN PLEASURE] 534 00:28:47,809 --> 00:28:49,269 Shit. Let's try another number. 535 00:28:49,353 --> 00:28:50,270 Whoa. 536 00:28:50,354 --> 00:28:51,772 One shout-out, one call. 537 00:28:52,648 --> 00:28:53,565 Are you fucking-- 538 00:28:53,649 --> 00:28:55,067 What up, Thunder Nuts? 539 00:28:55,150 --> 00:28:58,111 Sorry to hear that your new stepmom is allergic to cats. 540 00:28:58,195 --> 00:29:02,074 Tell her Robotman said, "Go fuck yourself!" One love. 541 00:29:02,157 --> 00:29:03,408 [LINE RINGING] 542 00:29:05,994 --> 00:29:07,412 Clara? Clara, don't hang up, it's-- 543 00:29:07,496 --> 00:29:08,622 MAN: Hi, you've reached 544 00:29:08,705 --> 00:29:11,458 Salty Bump's Bar and Restaurant and Tackle Shop. 545 00:29:11,541 --> 00:29:13,252 - Bump? - Our operating hours 546 00:29:13,335 --> 00:29:15,796 - are 8:00 am. to 2:00 am. - You gotta be kidding me. 547 00:29:15,879 --> 00:29:17,673 Closed on Sundays, for Jesus. 548 00:29:17,756 --> 00:29:18,966 [ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS] 549 00:29:19,049 --> 00:29:20,467 Hey, Clara, it's Cliff. 550 00:29:21,093 --> 00:29:23,011 Your dad. Your real dad. 551 00:29:23,095 --> 00:29:25,180 Not that folksy asshole on your answering machine. 552 00:29:26,473 --> 00:29:27,808 You know what? 553 00:29:27,891 --> 00:29:31,603 You had a chance to have me in your life and you fucking threw it away. 554 00:29:32,646 --> 00:29:34,523 I'll probably die here on the side of the road, 555 00:29:34,606 --> 00:29:35,983 just like you wanted. 556 00:29:37,025 --> 00:29:40,279 Maybe you're right. Maybe I'm not cut out to be a father. 557 00:29:40,362 --> 00:29:45,033 I'm just a robot, a statue, a piece of trash. 558 00:29:45,117 --> 00:29:48,870 So don't bother throwing a wake at your shitty bar for me. 559 00:29:50,455 --> 00:29:52,165 Wait, that came out wrong. 560 00:29:52,958 --> 00:29:54,042 Ah! 561 00:29:54,126 --> 00:29:55,085 Oh, man. 562 00:29:55,377 --> 00:29:56,295 Bro. 563 00:29:57,421 --> 00:29:58,297 That's some rough shit. 564 00:29:58,380 --> 00:29:59,881 Give the phone back! I need a do-over! 565 00:29:59,965 --> 00:30:02,676 Look, man, sometimes you need to know when to take the L. 566 00:30:03,010 --> 00:30:04,136 You know what I'm saying? 567 00:30:05,887 --> 00:30:06,930 One love. 568 00:30:07,848 --> 00:30:09,224 Hey, come back here! 569 00:30:09,308 --> 00:30:11,018 Give me that goddamn phone! 570 00:30:15,063 --> 00:30:16,106 Holy shit. 571 00:30:16,523 --> 00:30:18,859 Holy shit! Whoo-hoo! 572 00:30:19,192 --> 00:30:21,737 One more chance. One more chance! 573 00:30:22,070 --> 00:30:23,238 One more chance! 574 00:30:23,822 --> 00:30:26,575 [CHANTING] One more chance! 575 00:30:31,997 --> 00:30:35,000 Well, this is a bit melodramatic, even for me. 576 00:30:35,542 --> 00:30:36,752 Oh, Mother. 577 00:30:37,419 --> 00:30:39,338 If you could see me now. 578 00:30:39,755 --> 00:30:42,049 How the mighty have fallen. 579 00:30:43,675 --> 00:30:45,635 Who was once on the cover of Vogue? 580 00:30:47,012 --> 00:30:49,181 Fine. Who was on the inside cover? 581 00:30:50,182 --> 00:30:51,391 Inside back cover. 582 00:30:51,475 --> 00:30:52,684 And you know what? 583 00:30:52,768 --> 00:30:54,644 That should have been good enough, shouldn't it? 584 00:30:54,936 --> 00:30:56,104 I did that. 585 00:30:57,022 --> 00:30:58,607 And I did so much more. 586 00:30:59,983 --> 00:31:01,026 [SIGHS] 587 00:31:01,109 --> 00:31:02,569 Without any help from you. 588 00:31:02,986 --> 00:31:05,947 I'm sure you thought you deserved credit. You don't! 589 00:31:06,782 --> 00:31:08,450 I gave you enough. 590 00:31:08,992 --> 00:31:10,994 I solved all of your problems. 591 00:31:11,870 --> 00:31:13,914 And who's going to solve mine? 592 00:31:14,748 --> 00:31:15,665 Me? 593 00:31:16,416 --> 00:31:17,501 [SIGHS] 594 00:31:17,584 --> 00:31:19,878 I wouldn't even know where to start. 595 00:31:24,049 --> 00:31:25,384 How am I supposed 596 00:31:25,467 --> 00:31:28,512 to fix something inside of me that you broke? 597 00:31:34,726 --> 00:31:36,895 This was supposed to be cathartic. 598 00:31:37,437 --> 00:31:38,605 [GROANS] 599 00:31:43,985 --> 00:31:45,237 NILES: What is this? 600 00:31:46,279 --> 00:31:47,656 You're here, aren't you? 601 00:31:51,910 --> 00:31:53,412 My love, you here? 602 00:31:55,330 --> 00:31:56,748 I can sense you. 603 00:31:58,667 --> 00:32:00,168 I came all this way. 604 00:32:01,002 --> 00:32:03,463 I need to speak with you about our daughter. 605 00:32:05,173 --> 00:32:07,092 Our daughter. 606 00:32:07,676 --> 00:32:08,760 She's... 607 00:32:08,927 --> 00:32:10,595 She's extraordinary. 608 00:32:11,680 --> 00:32:14,182 She's amazing every moment. 609 00:32:15,392 --> 00:32:16,726 Her kindness... 610 00:32:18,562 --> 00:32:20,230 her purity of spirit. 611 00:32:21,815 --> 00:32:24,693 I thought I needed to protect her from the world. 612 00:32:26,403 --> 00:32:29,698 But now I fear I must protect the world from her. 613 00:32:30,866 --> 00:32:33,702 She is dangerous beyond measure. 614 00:32:35,245 --> 00:32:36,246 Please. 615 00:32:37,247 --> 00:32:38,540 I've tried everything. 616 00:32:39,624 --> 00:32:41,877 I need you to understand that. 617 00:32:45,547 --> 00:32:48,216 Now I fear I must do something awful. 618 00:32:52,095 --> 00:32:55,599 If you know of a better way, please tell me. 619 00:32:56,266 --> 00:32:57,392 Show me. 620 00:32:58,977 --> 00:33:00,520 She's your daughter, too. 621 00:33:02,481 --> 00:33:05,400 CANDLEMAKER: The mother cannot hear you. 622 00:33:08,737 --> 00:33:11,990 The child belongs with me. 623 00:33:12,073 --> 00:33:14,493 No. No, she does not! 624 00:33:14,743 --> 00:33:17,162 Not whilst my blood runs in her veins. 625 00:33:17,412 --> 00:33:18,830 Not whilst her mother's blood-- 626 00:33:18,914 --> 00:33:21,416 The mother is gone. 627 00:33:21,500 --> 00:33:25,128 Soon the father will join her. 628 00:33:25,420 --> 00:33:27,756 I endure. 629 00:33:29,007 --> 00:33:30,175 You are just... 630 00:33:30,258 --> 00:33:32,385 a passing nightmare to her! 631 00:33:32,469 --> 00:33:35,347 I was here before you, Father, 632 00:33:35,430 --> 00:33:40,060 and I will be here long after you are gone. 633 00:33:40,143 --> 00:33:43,730 You speak of the mother as if you know her. 634 00:33:43,813 --> 00:33:45,524 You are a fool. 635 00:33:45,607 --> 00:33:49,528 Just as the mother gave birth to the child, 636 00:33:49,611 --> 00:33:52,697 the mother gave birth to me. 637 00:33:53,198 --> 00:33:56,785 You speak of her ancestor's father. 638 00:33:57,536 --> 00:34:00,956 Who do you think created me? 639 00:34:02,707 --> 00:34:03,833 No! 640 00:34:06,211 --> 00:34:08,380 It can't be, it's not possible. 641 00:34:11,466 --> 00:34:15,720 What did that monster mean when he said your people created him? 642 00:34:16,972 --> 00:34:18,890 Why would they curse her like this? 643 00:34:20,725 --> 00:34:22,060 How could you do this? 644 00:34:23,144 --> 00:34:27,524 How could you do this to our little girl? 645 00:34:31,861 --> 00:34:33,280 [SCANTS MUTTERING] 646 00:34:35,865 --> 00:34:37,867 KIPLING: Lovely tent, lads. 647 00:34:37,993 --> 00:34:40,495 Yo, Kipling, you made it. 648 00:34:42,706 --> 00:34:44,916 - Hey, where's your butt mask? - Don't need it. 649 00:34:45,250 --> 00:34:47,252 Got 'em exactly where I want them. 650 00:34:47,335 --> 00:34:50,005 Once they kill me, I'll initiate my plan. 651 00:34:50,130 --> 00:34:52,507 Damn! They'll never suspect that. 652 00:34:52,591 --> 00:34:55,552 [FANFARE PLAYING] 653 00:34:56,678 --> 00:34:58,263 Hmm. 654 00:34:58,346 --> 00:34:59,806 There you guys are. 655 00:34:59,889 --> 00:35:01,766 Welcome. 656 00:35:01,850 --> 00:35:03,059 Are you all settled in? 657 00:35:04,227 --> 00:35:05,061 All right. 658 00:35:06,313 --> 00:35:08,690 Let me explain what's about to happen. 659 00:35:09,691 --> 00:35:11,568 It's all very simple. 660 00:35:12,819 --> 00:35:15,947 As we speak, the machine you're hooked up to 661 00:35:16,031 --> 00:35:20,660 is draining a substance called Idyat from your quaint little brains 662 00:35:20,744 --> 00:35:24,706 and converting it into a resource that we call Uma Jelly. 663 00:35:24,789 --> 00:35:26,416 ALL: Uma Jelly. 664 00:35:26,499 --> 00:35:30,629 Uma Jelly is pure, uncut enlightenment. 665 00:35:31,379 --> 00:35:35,425 Bottled evolutionary potential. Not from concentrate. 666 00:35:45,852 --> 00:35:47,354 [SLURPS] Mmm. 667 00:35:50,523 --> 00:35:51,816 - Whoa. - Whoa. 668 00:35:52,692 --> 00:35:55,028 - Oh, wow. - [SCANT QUEEN MOANS] 669 00:35:55,111 --> 00:35:59,032 Thank you, thank you. No, seriously, thank you. 670 00:35:59,115 --> 00:36:00,992 Once we drain all the Idyat from your brains, 671 00:36:01,076 --> 00:36:02,994 each of you will shit your pants and die. 672 00:36:03,536 --> 00:36:04,663 So thank you. 673 00:36:18,885 --> 00:36:20,762 THUG: Hey, don't make any sudden moves, man. 674 00:36:20,845 --> 00:36:21,971 - MAN: Hey, hey, please. - THUG: Give me your backpack. 675 00:36:22,055 --> 00:36:23,598 - MAN: I don't have much. - THUG: Take it off right now. 676 00:36:23,682 --> 00:36:24,683 - MAN: I'm taking off the backpack! - THUG: I will shoot you. 677 00:36:24,766 --> 00:36:26,434 - THUG: I will shoot you right now! - MAN: Please, don't. 678 00:36:27,811 --> 00:36:29,938 [VOICES ECHOING] 679 00:36:34,067 --> 00:36:36,361 RITA: I'm sorry. Did that sting? 680 00:36:43,368 --> 00:36:45,328 Holy cow. 681 00:36:45,412 --> 00:36:48,289 I feel amazing. 682 00:36:48,373 --> 00:36:51,876 Seriously, I've never had Uma Jelly this potent before. I'm tingling. 683 00:36:51,960 --> 00:36:57,799 You chickadees must have some truly, deeply terrible ideas. 684 00:36:59,342 --> 00:37:03,012 How ever so tragic. You're each other's worst idea. 685 00:37:03,388 --> 00:37:04,389 Like... 686 00:37:04,472 --> 00:37:06,683 a duck being friends with a lobster. 687 00:37:06,891 --> 00:37:08,518 - Damn straight. - [BOTH CHUCKLE] 688 00:37:09,728 --> 00:37:10,729 She was right. 689 00:37:11,104 --> 00:37:12,397 You don't belong here. 690 00:37:12,480 --> 00:37:15,775 Your biggest mistake is thinking that you can stay. 691 00:37:16,401 --> 00:37:19,320 Wow. That's amazing, you nailed me. 692 00:37:19,571 --> 00:37:22,115 Oh, darling, I wasn't talking to you. 693 00:37:23,032 --> 00:37:28,496 I was talking to that poor little stray living inside you. 694 00:37:30,582 --> 00:37:34,085 Doesn't matter how many times you summon her, Willoughby. 695 00:37:34,502 --> 00:37:35,837 She'll never love you. 696 00:37:36,087 --> 00:37:39,591 She's a talking horse and she has no torso. 697 00:37:39,674 --> 00:37:40,717 You don't know that. 698 00:37:42,677 --> 00:37:44,888 You don't need a torso to have a heart. 699 00:37:48,308 --> 00:37:49,809 Interesting. 700 00:37:50,351 --> 00:37:51,978 I've never met someone... 701 00:37:52,520 --> 00:37:54,939 who displayed an immunity to our Scantification. 702 00:37:55,023 --> 00:37:56,858 - What's your name? - Miranda. 703 00:37:56,941 --> 00:37:57,984 Miranda. 704 00:37:58,777 --> 00:38:00,278 What's your secret? 705 00:38:00,445 --> 00:38:04,073 I mean, I know there's a bad idea in there, I can smell it. 706 00:38:04,866 --> 00:38:07,952 Perhaps one of the worst ideas of all time. 707 00:38:08,286 --> 00:38:10,538 But, somehow, you're keeping it from me. 708 00:38:11,623 --> 00:38:14,834 We just need to squeeze it out. 709 00:38:18,087 --> 00:38:22,008 Eat shit. 710 00:38:23,468 --> 00:38:24,677 [SCANTS MUTTERING] 711 00:38:24,761 --> 00:38:27,263 My water bed throne! 712 00:38:27,555 --> 00:38:29,224 No! 713 00:38:29,766 --> 00:38:32,060 Somebody, get the patch kit! 714 00:38:38,066 --> 00:38:39,776 [GROANING] 715 00:38:40,652 --> 00:38:42,153 [SCREAMING] 716 00:39:01,339 --> 00:39:02,590 Shall we go home now? 717 00:39:02,924 --> 00:39:04,425 Yeah. 718 00:39:17,981 --> 00:39:19,315 - I think-- - You know what? 719 00:39:23,862 --> 00:39:27,574 - I should probably just-- - No, screw that nasty-ass 720 00:39:27,657 --> 00:39:28,867 earwax-eating freak. 721 00:39:29,951 --> 00:39:32,579 Look, who is she to say it's a bad idea for us to be together? 722 00:39:33,329 --> 00:39:34,205 [SCOFFS] 723 00:39:34,289 --> 00:39:36,541 Well, she's the queen of bad ideas, 724 00:39:36,624 --> 00:39:38,918 so I'm guessing she kind of has an authority on that subject. 725 00:39:39,002 --> 00:39:41,713 Look, if we want to do this, then we should just do it. 726 00:39:46,801 --> 00:39:47,719 I like you. 727 00:39:49,846 --> 00:39:50,722 A lot. 728 00:39:51,806 --> 00:39:52,807 So, what do you say? 729 00:39:55,226 --> 00:39:57,020 I thought you said you loved me. 730 00:40:02,025 --> 00:40:04,277 - But that was when I was-- - So you didn't really mean it? 731 00:40:09,324 --> 00:40:12,660 [LAUGHING] I'm just fucking with you, dude. 732 00:40:14,329 --> 00:40:17,332 Oh, thank you for trying to let me down gently. 733 00:40:17,415 --> 00:40:18,333 [LAUGHS] Okay. 734 00:40:18,416 --> 00:40:21,085 "That was before, when I...' 735 00:40:21,169 --> 00:40:23,046 Well, so you think you're a comedian now, huh? 736 00:40:23,129 --> 00:40:24,380 - I've been a comedian. - Is that right? 737 00:40:24,464 --> 00:40:26,424 Let me give you something to laugh at. 738 00:40:32,931 --> 00:40:33,848 I gotta go. 739 00:40:34,849 --> 00:40:35,725 You coming? 740 00:40:36,809 --> 00:40:38,144 I'm going to wait for Niles. 741 00:40:39,938 --> 00:40:40,855 Call me later? 742 00:40:48,446 --> 00:40:49,489 We'll see. 743 00:41:53,094 --> 00:41:54,262 Can I help you, sir? 744 00:41:57,306 --> 00:41:58,683 Um... 745 00:41:58,766 --> 00:42:01,144 Yeah, the patient who was in this room, 746 00:42:01,227 --> 00:42:03,229 - Dex Trainer-- - Checked out this afternoon. 747 00:42:05,690 --> 00:42:06,858 Was he... 748 00:42:09,193 --> 00:42:10,236 How was he? 749 00:42:12,780 --> 00:42:14,490 I can't tell you anything specific, 750 00:42:14,615 --> 00:42:17,535 but we don't tend to release people who are still sick. 751 00:42:18,911 --> 00:42:19,871 Thanks. 752 00:42:33,468 --> 00:42:35,136 [MOTORS WHIRRING] 753 00:42:42,810 --> 00:42:43,811 Cliff? 754 00:42:46,230 --> 00:42:47,231 Clara? 755 00:42:49,692 --> 00:42:51,027 Your friend Vic let me in. 756 00:42:51,527 --> 00:42:53,112 What are you doing here? 757 00:42:53,696 --> 00:42:54,947 I got this in the mail. 758 00:43:00,870 --> 00:43:03,331 That man, Niles Caulder... 759 00:43:04,332 --> 00:43:06,250 he really do all those things to you? 760 00:43:23,810 --> 00:43:28,231 I don't see what the big deal is. I've saved our asses a hundred times before. 761 00:43:28,314 --> 00:43:31,150 [CLICKS TONGUE] You know what Miranda doesn't do? 762 00:43:31,567 --> 00:43:33,861 Pout, like a little bitch. 763 00:43:44,539 --> 00:43:45,456 Holly. 764 00:43:46,415 --> 00:43:47,333 What's wrong? 765 00:43:48,543 --> 00:43:51,921 - Have you seen Scarlet Harlot? - Not lately... 766 00:43:52,004 --> 00:43:53,548 but she's a bit of a night owl. 767 00:43:55,341 --> 00:43:56,175 Why? 768 00:43:56,259 --> 00:43:58,052 She didn't show up for book club... 769 00:43:58,928 --> 00:44:02,682 and we read that new dinosaur memoir and she was ever so keen to discuss it. 770 00:44:04,433 --> 00:44:05,601 I'm starting to get worried. 771 00:44:19,157 --> 00:44:21,409 Scarlet? Are you here? 772 00:44:21,492 --> 00:44:22,910 [LIGHT BUZZING] 773 00:44:36,924 --> 00:44:38,050 The fuck? 774 00:44:40,845 --> 00:44:42,513 Why is your station closed? 775 00:44:52,148 --> 00:44:53,357 [SIGHS] 776 00:45:06,370 --> 00:45:07,830 Talk soon, my love. 777 00:45:11,459 --> 00:45:15,922 [NILES SINGING] ♪ Mrs. Brown you've got a lovely daughter ♪ 778 00:45:17,340 --> 00:45:21,928 ♪ Girls as sharp as her are something rare ♪ 779 00:45:22,845 --> 00:45:24,263 Oh, fuck me. 780 00:45:49,288 --> 00:45:50,331 Hello, Kipling. 781 00:45:54,418 --> 00:45:55,461 I... 782 00:45:57,755 --> 00:45:58,839 I, um... 783 00:46:02,760 --> 00:46:06,097 So, this is that call, then? 784 00:46:08,349 --> 00:46:09,308 It is. 785 00:46:13,479 --> 00:46:14,438 When? 786 00:46:15,982 --> 00:46:17,191 I need one more day. 787 00:46:19,819 --> 00:46:20,861 Then... 788 00:46:24,365 --> 00:46:25,408 What will you do with her? 789 00:46:27,034 --> 00:46:28,452 You don't have to worry about that. 790 00:46:29,287 --> 00:46:32,540 I just need to know where and when. 791 00:46:34,583 --> 00:46:35,876 I'll make sure it's done. 55580

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