All language subtitles for The.Last.Drive-in.with.Joe.Bob.Briggs.S33E19.Dont.Torture.a.Duckling.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-BFM_track4_[eng]

♪ Hey, everybody,
have you heard the news? ♪

♪ Joe Bob is back in town ♪

♪ He's over at the drive-in,
hanging around ♪

♪ Watching crazy movies,
so come on down ♪

♪ To Joe Bob's
"Last Drive-In" show ♪

♪ Blood, beasties,
boobies, and more ♪

♪ Joe Bob's
"Last Drive-In" show ♪

♪ It's a spooky good time
with monsters and ghosts ♪

♪ Crazy, kooky fun with
the world's greatest host ♪

♪ Joe Bob's
"Last Drive-In" show ♪

♪ It's gonna be legendary ♪

♪ Joe Bob's
"Last Drive-In" show ♪

♪ It's gonna be very scary ♪

♪ Joe Bob's
"Last Drive-In" show ♪

♪ Let's go ♪

-Well, Darcy the duckling,

how many New Year's
resolutions have you failed

to accomplish so far?

-I don't really do resolutions.

-I'm glad you said don't,
though, because this is

"Don't Night" on "The Last
Drive-In," the night

when we honor that much-maligned
subgenre, the "don't" movie.

What's the most famous
"don't" movie?

-"Don't Answer the Phone"?

-You're probably right.

"Don't Answer the Phone"
because it was so controversial.

That's one of those movies
that Roger Ebert went after it.

I think the phrase he used was
"despicable garbage."

And Leonard Maltin
went after it.

He said it was sick.

And feminist groups protested
against it.

They said that kills of
the women were filmed in a way

that was supposed
to turn men on.

Um, anyway,

we don't have the rights
to "Don't Answer the Phone."

So, that's moot.

The reason we're doing
"don't" movies

is that New Year's resolutions
are almost always "don't" stuff.

The top four are don't eat
so much, don't smoke,

don't drink so much,
and get more exercise,

which could be categorized
as don't be so lazy, right?

But the "don't" movies were
mostly about stuff

that could kill you
if you do it.

Or the titles promised

that somebody would do something
normal that we do every day,

but then he would be killed
for doing that thing,

which is irresistible.

Like, "Don't open that door."

Was there a movie called
"Don't Open That Door"?

I think.

-Um, "Don't Open
the
Door"?

-"Don't Open
the
Door."

Yeah, well,
we don't have that one, either.

So, what were some of the other
"don't" movies?

-Uh, "Don't Open the Window."

"Don't Go in the House."
"Don't Go Near the Park."

"Don't Go to Sleep."
"Don't Go in the Basement."

-Do we have any of those?
-No, no.

-We showed
that Mexican film in English,

"Don't Panic." Remember that?
-I do.

-So, we've already shown one
"don't" movie.

-"Don't Breathe."
-"Don't Breathe."

-That didn't really count
because that's like big budget,

you know?

-It still counts.

-Oh, yeah, I guess it counts.

But the cycle of classic "don't"
movies happened in the '70s.

And we have two of those
tonight.

Our second movie tonight,

I'm kind of embarrassed to say,
is "Don't Go in the Woods"

from 1981.

It was apparently made

by a crack-cocaine-addiction
support group on the weekends,

the weekends they were allowed
to leave the rehab facility.

But the movie
we're going to watch right now

is one of the greatest
giallo
films ever made

and some people say
the greatest Lucio Fulci film.

And that is, of course,
"Don't Torture a Duckling."

The original title
was "Don't Torture Donald Duck,"

but Disney
didn't really like that title.

-Weird!

-They didn't really like
the idea of people thinking

it was a Donald Duck movie

and buying tickets to a movie
about a serial child killer.

At any rate,

I have a nominee for a new
New Year's resolution.

This is something

I think every American
should resolve to do in 2026.

-All right, go for it.

-I'm going to put it
in "don't" form.

-Okay.

-Don't say things
are un-American.

Don't use that word.

Eliminate the word "un-American"
from our vocabulary.

-Okay. Why?
-Because it splits us up.

It splits us into people
who are...

You know,
there's this part of the people

who are the "real" America
versus the people

who don't know what America is.

"So, we don't have
to listen to you," you know?

"Oh, you believe that?
That's un-American.

You do that? Un-American."

Look, there are
346 million Americans.

Their behavior and beliefs
cover all possible categories.

So, you can't say, "Well, your
head is not screwed on straight.

You are no longer an American,"
you know?

Actually, didn't they just
threaten to do that to somebody?

Rosie O'Donnell,
they just threatened to do that.

-I think they did, yeah.

-They threatened
to take her citizenship away,

which would be a first, I think,

in the whole history
of the country.

"You are now stateless, Rosie."

But at least
for the first 250 years --

maybe it's different
this year --

but for the first 250 years
of America,

you have not been able to take
somebody's citizenship away

because you thought
they didn't have

their head screwed on straight.

So, whatever you are -- left,
right, Democrat, Republican,

red state, blue state,
Christian, Jew, Muslim,

Buddhist, atheist,
Red Sox fan, White Sox fan,

flat-earther, gay, straight,
trans, punk rocker,

Taylor Swift fan,
Taylor Swift hater,

right-to-lifer,
choice advocate,

migrant supporter,

libertarian, free-enterprise
absolutist, drag queen,

flag burner, vaccine supporter,
anti-vax believer,

police officer,
inmate, drive-in mutant,

Hallmark channel addict,
stamp collector, AR-15 owner,

college graduate,
middle school dropout,

business leader, factory worker,

treehugger climate-change
denier, porn star,

homeless poet living
under a bridge.

Whatever you are,
you are American!

And that means whatever you
have to say, we have to listen.

Everybody gets to speak.

So, the only thing
that's un-American

is the word "un-American."

-Well, that was unexpected.

-Don't say "un-American."
That's my resolution.

-It's a good one.

And now we're going to watch
the great "don't" classic,

"Don't Torture a Duckling,"

because I think we can all agree
we should not torture ducklings.

-We should not.

-And if we do,
we should be punished for it.

Did you ever get a baby duck
for Easter?

-No.
-Or a baby chick?

-No-o-o!

-Why do you say, "no-o-o"
that way?

-I feel like it's weird
to give little, baby animals

as just random presents.

So, no.
-Yeah.

They actually have laws now
in some places

that you can't sell pastel-
colored baby ducks or chicks.

-I feel like they
should have those laws.

-And I don't think
it's about the coloring.

I don't think the duck gets
traumatized because it's pink.

Right?

-I mean, maybe it is
actually torturing a duckling.

-Okay.
-Just saying.

I'm not familiar with the
process of how you color a duck.

Maybe it does.

-They are beautiful
just as they are.

Just leave them alone.

-Okay.
-That's my stance.

-Well,
we should state in advance that

no actual ducklings are tortured
in the course of this movie.

-Yay!

-But human beings are flayed,
gored, whipped,

mutilated, and hacked up.

-Yay!

-All right,
"Don't Torture a Duckling"

was made during the animal-name
period of the
giallo
film,

When Dario Argento made "The
Bird with the Crystal Plumage,"

in 1970, and that became
an international sensation,

all the Italian filmmakers
started putting animal names

on all their
giallo
films.

Actually, this was Lucio Fulci's
second
giallo
of that period.

The year before this, he made
"A Lizard in a Woman's Skin,"

and these odd names were really
just used as signifiers for fun.

This is going to be
a mystery thriller that's fun.

And it is.

And it's also brutal.

"Don't Torture a Duckling"
is the sensitive story

of a free-spirited woman
exiled to a small-town Italy

to recover
from a drug-and-sex scandal,

plus, a newspaper reporter
from Milan

who goes to small-town Italy

to find out who's killing
all the young boys,

plus, a voodoo witch

who lives up on the rocky ledge
with her hermit warlock mentor,

plus, a priest
who coaches soccer,

plus, a chorus of redneck locals
who want vigilante justice,

an old-fashioned village idiot

who has trouble making
ends meet,

and a whole bunch
of clueless police officials

enslaved by logic.

Sure, we've seen it before,

but have we seen it
with Barbara Bouchet going

full frontal to tease
a 12-year-old boy

and
not
getting censored
for pedophilia?

I think not!

So, let's take a look
at those "Drive-In" totals

and get started.

We have six dead bodies,

three breasts, bloody beatdown
with heavy chains,

suffocation,
slow-motion cliff plunge,

multiple vigilante mobs,
cemetery-gate finger smashing,

Peeping-Tom mocking,
infant skeletal remains,

child smoking,
decapitated Donald Duck,

gratuitous
gas-mileage computation,

hooker fu, voodoo fu.

"Drive-In" Academy Award
nominations for Ugo D'Alessio

as the police captain
for saying,

"A little truth goes
a long way in this town."

Barbara Bouchet as the dune-
buggy-driving society girl

who says, "Are you upset
seeing a naked female?"

Tomas Milian as
the newspaper reporter who says,

"In my opinion, you're crazy."

Florinda Bolkan
as the voodoo priestess

who says, "I'll break you."

Marc Porel as
the soccer coach/priest

who says, "No one ever asked
if the culprit is

our would-be liberalism."

Riz Ortolani, the composer,

for one of the strangest scores
ever written for a horror film,

and Lucio Fulci,
the director and co-writer

for trying every genre

until he created this
masterpiece at the age of 45.

Four stars.
Joe Bob says, "Check it out."

It's very odd
for an Italian
giallo

to be "A," filmed in Italy.

They usually preferred
Germany or Greece

or the United States.

"B," filmed in a small town
in the south of Italy,

where the rednecks live.

You know,
giallos
are
usually in Rome or London

or Berlin, in fashion salons
or opera houses

or high-society places,

and "C," about children, who
Fulci described as "Monsters,

alien creatures
with their reality

that doesn't intersect
with the reality of grown-ups."

So, it's a
giallo
that breaks all the rules

of what a
giallo
is supposed
to be.

-And it's beautiful.

-It
is
beautiful.

And that Riz Ortolani
score helps a lot.

It reminds me of the opening
credits to "Cannibal Holocaust,"

also scored by Riz Ortolani,

or that song "More" that
Ortolani wrote for "Mondo Cane,"

and it became a hit
for Frank Sinatra.

So, his thing was
he loved to do lush,

orchestral romantic music
for cannibalism, murder,

and freaky, gory shock cinema.

-I love that.

-Hail Mary, full of grace,
the Lord is with thee.

Blessed art thou among women.

And blessed is the fruit
of thy womb, Jesus.

-Thank you, Father.

-Blessed art thou among women,

and blessed
is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now

and at the hour of our death.

-Bruno? Bruno?

Come on.

-Not to laugh.

He's got a bad case
of the hots for this chick.

-I can't see you anymore,
Armand.

-Listen. It's on the rocks.

-They're coming.
They're coming!

-I want half.
-Here.

-Powerful. What are they?
-Gauloises.

-How come Tonino's not here?

-Don't worry.
He knows where to find us.

-He's always late.

-Michele? Bruno?
-Huh?

-They're coming.
They're coming!

I saw the car!

I saw. They're coming.

-What are they like?

-They're real whoppers.

They've got huge tits
like watermelons and huge rears.

-What are we waiting for?
-Come on!

Give me a drag.
-It's strong. It's Gauloises.

-Did you bring the money?

-Don't panic, I got it.
Give me the cigarette back.

-Up yours!

If my father and you
and I can talk about things,

won't you come and...

-He's taking her home to Papa.
It's going to be a threesome.

-Oh, Rosie, you kill me.

-How you do?
I do fine, hon.

-You got a preference?
Doesn't matter at all. Come on.

-Hey, Maria.
-It's all right by me.

-It's getting better.
-Give me that.

-Tell me what he says.
-I got to get me one of those.

-Tell me what he says.
It's hard to understand.

-I can't hear. I'm listening.

-I remember a movie
on the same subject.

She dies of cholera.

-Can't you get any music
on those things,

or do you only get
certain stations?

-I always cry at movies.

Television doesn't affect me
that way, though.

-You got television, too?

-Why, sure. What the hell?
I used to work in Rimini.

I bought this television,
but I worked nights.

Oh!

-Scram, Giuseppe.
-How about that?

-Get out of here!

Don't worry about him.
He's a dimwit.

-That's why I'm worried.
He grabbed me like he knew me.

-He's a village idiot.

-We can forget the past.
We don't have to live in Paris.

We can go south to Nice,
just the two of us.

-Forget the party...

-Let's make this one a quickie,
huh, guys?

-What do you mean a quickie?
-You know what she means.

Last time you took an hour.

-Maybe we could turn off
the radio.

-No. I'm listening.
Just a minute.

-I'm not asking you to change.

- No money, no peeking.
- Get the picture?

-Don't press me, Armand.

You're just a silly,
charming boy.

What possible future is there
for us?

-Don't say that, Marguerite.

-Come on.

-I have to. I love you.

-These things never last,
my dear.

They flame up like...

-Giuseppe?

-They blaze and sparkle
and then are gone,

Consumed by passion...

-You want to see
something magic?

Then watch the birdie disappear.

-I'm not saying this
to hurt you...

-Ready?

-...but because I want
to save you from hurt.

Believe me.

-Peeping Tom, Peeping Tom,
we know what you're watching!

We know what you're watching!

Peeping Tom, Peeping Tom.

-Hey, Giuseppe?

-Giuseppe's a big baby!

Giuseppe's a big baby!
Giuseppe's a big baby!

-You dirty boys!
Get out of here! Oh!

-Come and get us, you moron!

-He can't even walk straight.

-He can't get us!
-I'll get you! come back!

Come back here!

I'll get you. All of you!
And when I do, I'll kill you!

I'll kill you!

-Hello, Ma.

-Pick up your jacket.
-Aw!

-It's about time you found
your way home, Michele.

Wash your hands,

then take this orange juice
up to Miss Patrizia.

She's in her room, lying down.
Hm.

She's tired. Poor thing.

Your father's always off
with his cronies,

and you,
heaven knows where you go.

-Tomorrow happens to be Sunday.

-Does it now?

It may be Sunday for you,

but for me,
it's just another work day.

Ironing, sewing,
cooking and cleaning...

You'd think I was paid
by the hour.

Nobody around here thinks of me.

Running away?

-I put your orangeade
on the table.

-Oh, Michele,
bring the tray here.

Come on. I won't bite you.

-I'm coming.
I don't want to spill it.

-Oh, yes? Well?

Look at me. Go on.

I won't hurt you.

Oh!

Are you upset seeing
a nude female?

Well...no.

-I didn't think so.
How many girls have you had?

Hmm?

-I don't know. Lots.

-You liar!

If you'd said one or two,
I might have believed you.

Ah, but "lots" is not true.
You're just full of shit.

Would you like to go to bed
with me?

I said, would you like
to go to bed with me?

-Yeah.

I bet you would.

-Michele? Michele?

You up there?

Michele?!
-Coming!

-Michele?!

-Mom! I said I'm coming!

-Well, come on!

-Go!
Obey your mama.

-Aah!

-What in God's name is
the matter with you tonight?

Shut up!

-Oh! No.

Oh, no. Aah!

-The search
for little Bruno LoCascio

continued throughout all
of yesterday, comma,

as it had
for the three previous days

since he disappeared.

-This is all we needed.

Kids wander off.
And who gets blamed for it?

We do, as usual.

-Police have widened
their field

to include mountainous areas
around Accendura, period.

Over a hundred policemen
and highway troops

are engaged in the search,
period.

We have new information
from the boy's father.

Yes, the boy's father.

An anonymous telephone call,
comma, made in Accendura,

was received last night
close to midnight.

Yes. The unknown caller
asked for a large amount.

What?
I can't tell you.

Yes.

The authorities are maintaining
a blackout over the story,

hoping for some word
of the kidnappers.

Yeah, that's the whole story.

-Stop! Hold it!

-Press!
-I'm sorry, gentlemen.

The commissioner
won't allow anyone beyond here.

-We understand.
-It doesn't matter.

-Thank you, sir.
-Just keep your shirts on.

Looks like I got to play tricks
on these guys.

-But I can't lay my hands
on money like that.

The whole town knows it.
It's never been very easy.

-We managed to buy
a piece of land.

We haven't anything else.
No money in the bank.

-We might as well go back
to headquarters.

-You're quite certain
you have no enemies?

-You can be sure.
There's no one.

We're respected
by the whole town.

The motive was money,
nothing else.

That's all he said.
6 million in 100,000-lire notes.

-Where were you told
to take the money?

-We must take it
to the old warehouse, he said.

He told me to bring it
tomorrow night.

When I got there, I was to hide
the cash in the fourth furnace.

But I can't get hold
of 6 million lire.

-In cash.

Naturally.

It would have to be cash.

But did you say that, or did
the man request it by telephone?

-No, no. By telephone.
He said he wanted...

He wanted it all in cash.

-All in cash?

-Yes.

-I'm sorry to interrupt, sir,
but think about it a moment.

This caller sounds quite crazy,
at least according to Locascio.

-Yes, that's evident,

to stipulate something
which is so very obvious.

-Right.
-Excuse me. Who are you?

-Andre Martelli,
The Standard
of Milan.

-Just a minute.
-Pleasure.

You haven't got a pass.
How did you get in?

-There's a window open in there.

-Look, I know
you've pointed out something

rather interesting,

but I think you better run
along now.

-Very well. So long.
Commissioner.

-No, not the window.
Please, sir.

Out this way.

-Oh, certainly. I'm sorry.

Be seeing you.

-Goodbye.

-Well, Locascio?

-He said...I mustn't say a word
to anybody about all this.

Then he said if I inform the
authorities, he'd murder my son.

-He'll murder Bruno!

Unless the money is all paid,
he's going to.

Oh, God, why?!

You can save him, can't you?

-I'm not completely sure we can.

-Don't fire, men.

Don't let him get away!
Stop him!

-Hold still!

I happened to put
my hand in just by accident.

-By accident?

-Well, I've been using
that furnace as a hiding place.

I used to keep things there.

Barra, you're lying.
Tell me the truth.

-Why should I be lying?
I don't know anything.

This Bruno Locascio
wasn't anyone I knew.

-What do you mean "wasn't"?

Is it because you know
he's dead?

That's what you mean, isn't it?

Isn't it?!

You murdered him, didn't you?

Confess it!

-No, I didn't.

-The kid was only 12,
and you kidnapped him!

Why not confess it?!
Tell me the honest truth!

I'm not a killer.

I don't know nothing.

God! I'm innocent.
I didn't kill him.

-Yes? Who is it?

Oh, yes. It's for a spot check.

I want you to listen to a voice.

Say a few words.

-What?

-Anything you like.
You can count, can't you?

Go ahead. One, two, three...

Move it!

One, two...

No! I'm innocent!
I didn't do it!

I didn't kill anyone!
Don't hurt me!

I didn't do it!

-Well, what about it? Uh-huh.

Are you sure?
Thanks for the information.

-Hmm?

-Locascio.
He's sure that's the voice.

-Giuseppe's a big baby!

-My son!

Killer!

Killer! Bruno!
My son!

-We'd better get Barra
out of here.

We can take him to Foggia today.

-Yes, sir. Modesti?

-I didn't do it!

He was already dead!
I only buried him!

-Take a few extra men with you.

-He was already dead!

-Captain, has he confessed?

I'm Martelli. Remember?

-Yes, I do.
Sorry, I can't talk now.

-I just buried him!
He was already dead!

I swear, before the altar
of God, he was dead!

-Did you hear what
the man said?

The boy had already been killed.

-What do you think?
The guy's an imbecile.

You said he was crazy. Remember?

-Okay, first-timers
watching this movie,

before you even ask me,
that is Barbara Bouchet

in the full-frontal-nude scene,

when 12-year-old Michele
brings her the orange juice.

Now, I doubt if anyone
who watches this film

ever forgets that scene,

and it goes to the heart
of something

I wanted to talk about,

which is why Italian
giallo
directors were so obsessed

with set pieces.

They would spend three,

four, five days sometimes
on these set pieces

that were the most original
parts of their stories.

And they cared more
about that than plot.

And one reason for that
is that in the heyday

of the Italian cinema,
the years after World War II,

people in Italy
used movie theaters

as kind of a social-gathering
place.

They would go there
two or three times a week,

and the theaters would have
this low hum of whispering

and talking, and occasionally

the low hum would stop,
and the theater would go silent

because there would be an
especially arresting set piece.

So, the set piece was a way

to capture the attention
of an audience

that's doing other things.

It's actually one of the reasons

that Italian movies did
so well at American drive-ins,

because drive-ins were
the same way.

You're in your car,
you're talking to the family,

you're talking to friends.

You're walking back and forth
to the concession stand,

and you're occasionally
transfixed

by something on the screen.

So, in this case, it was one

of the most photogenic models
and actresses who ever lived.

Barbara Bouchet was born
in 1944, in the Sudetenland.

That's the ethnic-German part
of Czechoslovakia

that was given to Hitler
in 1938 to make him happy.

But what it really did

was just make him hungry
to get more stuff.

So, it's the city of Liberec
today is where she was born.

Her father was
a war photographer,

and the family was
ethnic German,

so they were forced to leave
the country after the war.

And so her early years were
spent in a resettlement camp,

until the family was able to
move in 1956 to San Francisco,

and that's where she
became known as the cutie

with the perfect body.

And when she was 15 years old,

she won the Miss Gidget
beauty contest,

which included a date with James
Darren, the star of "Gidget."

And then she became
a featured dancer

on a weekly rock 'n' roll show.
And as a teen model,

she was on the cover
of 35 magazines.

And since she had no qualms
about getting naked,

she broke into the movies
by showing off her figure,

just as nudity was becoming
legal and plentiful

in the mid- to late '60s.

She wore those silk-harem
robe things that were semi-nude

in "John Goldfarb,
Please Come Home,"

which was a big movie
at the time.

She was nude on the beaches of
Pearl Harbor in "In Harm's way."

She was wearing a bikini
for most of her role

in "Agent for H.A.R.M.,"

which was
"A Man from U.N.C.L.E." spoof.

She was Ursula
in Bob Fosse's "Sweet Charity."

She was the sexiest
Miss Moneypenny ever

in "Casino Royale."

She did dozens of TV guest spots
as the hot walk-on girl.

She was the mistress
of Richard Johnson

in the British spy film
"Danger Route."

She moved to Italy in 1970,
two years before this film,

and that just heightened her
reputation as the sexy beauty

in a lot of Italian
sex comedies,

in these
giallos
and crime thrillers.

And, in fact, 1972 was
the best year of her career.

She made eight films that year.

And many think this film
that we're watching

is the best performance
of her life.

But it's not the only time

she was given an edgy acting
role by the Italian directors.

She was the prostitute Francine
in "The French Sex Murders,"

the gangster's moll in "Rico,"
the stripper in "Death Rage."

She starred in the
sex-games thriller "Amuck!"

and in "Cry of a Prostitute,"

she was repeatedly brutalized
by hit man Henry Silva,

but she liked it.

Anyway, that's Barbara Bouchet,
who, by the way,

was in one of the "don't"
movies, "Don't Commit Adultery,"

in which she makes
a priest forget his vows,

if you know what I mean.

And I think you do.

So, here we have a movie
about a child killer.

And I just spent ten minutes
talking about Barbara Bouchet,

so...

-She deserves the attention.

-And, by the way,

the reason the police
are puzzled about the ransom

is that 6 million lire
would have been about $10,000.

So, too much for Bruno's family,

but not much
for a professional kidnapper,

although I've seen episodes
of "Forensic Files"

where the hit man does
the job for $5,000,

You know?
So, I guess it's possible.

Anyway, one reason
these movies are so bold

and sometimes shocking,

and they have
those bright colors

and the lush cinematography
and a lot of symbolism,

like that opening shot of
that modern superhighway cutting

across the southern-Italy
countryside like a knife wound?

You know,
the reason they did that

is that they were working
against these beehives

of activity,
the Italian cinema,

as a neighborhood
gathering place.

In 1972,

there were about 17,000 movie
screens in the United States,

more than any other country.

But you know,
what country was number two?

-Italy.

-How'd you know that?
-Lucky guess.

-Yes.
9,300 screens in Italy,

3,000 more than the number-three
country, which is France.

The Italians were all
movie nerds.

-And that's why we love them.

-They are shouting
for the killer of that boy,

and we have got to find him
before they do.

-Commissioner, you mean
you believe that Barra

might have been
telling the truth after all?

The record states that
Barra signed a confession,

though it is full
of contradictions.

-I know. The contradictions
are simply evidence

that Barra is slightly
mentally deficient.

You've known him for some time,
Captain?

-Yes, I already told you.

I've never known the man
to harm a soul.

-He found the Locascio boy
murdered

and buried the child's body,

intending to call the father and
try to extract a little money.

The inspiration of an imbecile.

-Yes.

And the small ransom
requested,

6 million lire, confirms
in the main your hypothesis.

-Aaahhhh! Aah!

-The boy wasn't molested
this time, either.

-Make a statement
to the press.

We can put a stop to the rumors
that the crimes were sexual.

-The only variations we've
found between the two bodies

was the contusion
on the neck of the first victim.

-Yes. The killer stunned him
before killing him.

-But remember
that the boy was strangled.

He could have been beaten
to death.

Instead, he was killed
like the other one.

In my opinion, this indicates
a definite choice,

the kind of manic repetition
we find in schizophrenics.

-Brilliant.

He's murdered
two little children.

The guy's obviously
going to be a mental case,

to my way of thinking,
Lieutenant.

-Of course.

-The killer's a maniac,

but his mind works
in a certain logical pattern

which has a reasonable meaning
for him.

Were they unrelated victims?

Perhaps their poor bodies
can furnish some hint.

-You were right to come to me.
I probably knew them best.

Enough of that now!

-That's what I thought.

When a priest is close
to his boys in age, as well.

Of course it helps a lot.

What I want is for them to come
here with pleasure.

Pass the ball!

-They're good lads,

if they prefer the house of the
Lord to playing in the streets.

Well, they like
the soccer field.

They're devoted to the Lord,
but more to soccer.

A lot more.

-They like you a lot,
so I've heard.

-You want to know my secret?

-Let's hear it.

-I play soccer, too.
-Ah.

-I'm a very good center-forward.

People aren't worried much
about their immortal souls.

They watch TV, go to the movies.

They read the papers with all
those scandalous photographs.

But you're a reporter,
aren't you?

-Yes. I work for a daily.
-Things like this happen.

And the world is shocked.
I'm sorry.

The water's turned off at 6:00.

-Oh.
-You look for a culprit.

But no one ever asks

if the culprit isn't
our would-be liberalism.

-No one?
-What can a poor priest do?

Oh, I'm a friend
of the news vendor.

And certain magazines
aren't sold here.

In fact,
they don't even get here.

-Cigarette?
-No.

-They're free.
-No, no.

-Go on.

That's a sort of censorship,
right?

Mm-hmm.

-Do you think I'm wrong?
-No.

But what can you do
about that sort of thing?

I'm afraid the news vendor
can't do very much about her.

-No.

-Well, Don Alberto,
what have they decided in Rome?

Can you get married yet?
-Mnh-mnh.

Ooh.

It's nice to see
a little new masculinity around.

Oh, well,
you will keep me informed

because I'll be
very interested to hear.

Finished. How much?

-That's all right.
I'll bill you later.

-I wouldn't say she's
your most devout parishioner.

I know.

In fact,
it's only since she arrived here

that funny things
have been going on.

-What do you mean?

-Nothing.

Just sometimes you get
suspicious of everyone.

-Who's that?
-Uh, she was born here.

Her father made a fortune
in Milan.

You might have noticed that

funny-looking, modern-type
building on the way into town.

-Yeah. Is that her house?
-Yes.

Her father owns it,
but he only built it for show.

He never comes here.
He hates the place.

What's the girl here for?

Wouldn't she be better off
in Milan?

-Well, apparently she
was implicated in a drug scandal

a few months ago.

I don't know any of the details,

but her father seemed
to think she'd better stay here.

-Hello? Oh, hello.
What? No. I'm alone.

No. Well, they're watching...

It's so late.

No. Who's afraid? No.
I can go out the back door.

Nobody'll see.

-Here are your keys, Miss.

Oh.

-This is the type of picture
Michele would like.

Call him.

-Michele's studying.

For one night in the week,
he can do without it.

Aah! Aahhh!

-He ate with us
up at the signorina's.

-This was on his table.

-Then he came back here
to study.

-He's never stayed out
all night before.

-Why were you and your husband
so late getting in last night?

-Because Miss Patrizia
was late.

She likes me to be there
when she comes in.

She's been worried
she'll find an intruder.

That's what she says.

Find our boy, our little son.
Oh, please, sir.

-And does she make a point

of...of going out at night
alone?

-No. Just once or twice,
as I remember.

-The dogs can't smell a damn
thing with all this rain.

-Yeah.

-Look. I've had it, Martelli.
I'm soaked to the skin.

They'll certainly let us know
if they find a clue.

-Go ahead.
I'm staying.

-Okay. So long.

-I'm scared of thieves.
I know it sounds silly,

but there's nothing
I can do about it.

-But you're not bothered
staying out in your car

from 9:00 until midnight.

Or am I mistaken?

-No. Your informers are right.

Your source of information
wins an award this time

for accuracy.

And do you want to know
what I did during those hours?

Nothing. I went up and
down the highway like an idiot.

-For three consecutive hours?
-Yes.

-Well, it's a simple remedy
when you're nervous.

You've been very nervous lately?

-I wasn't nervous. I was...

Oh. What's the use?

There's no sense
in being mysterious.

With all the gossip in town,

I'd be surprised
if they hadn't told you already.

I used to take...

I used to take drugs,
and now that I'm clean,

I occasionally get a craving.

-You saw nobody, did you?

-Nobody.

-And you never stopped
the car at all?

-Why?

-You might have had to buy gas
or get a cup of coffee.

-I don't remember.

-You've forgotten?
We're talking about last night.

-I didn't stop.

-And so we finally see
the face of the voodoo woman

who's messing with those
black dolls and the steel pins

and the little burial sites.

And that woman is yet another
larger-than-life sex symbol

who captivated
the Italian film world

when she first arrived in Rome
in the late '60s.

That's Florinda Bolkan
looking amazing,

even under that homeless
gypsy makeup.

And her story is even more
incredible than Barbara Bouchet.

She was born in the boonies
of Brazil,

the remote northeast in
the little town of Uruburetama,

which is a tribal word meaning
"land of the vultures."

Her father died when she was 14.

She worked as a secretary
to support the family

while attending school.

She learned to speak
English and French.

She became a stewardess
for Varig,

the national Brazilian airline,

and apparently she was
so good at it

that she got promoted
to flight inspector.

So, she was in charge of
cabin crews all over the world.

So, her job eventually took her
to Rome, and while in Rome,

she fell in love
with Marina Cicogna,

the first female film producer
in Italy

and a very powerful figure
in the business.

And Cicogna convinced Bolkan...

I'm getting these names
totally wrong.

But Cicogna convinced Bolkan
to stay in Italy

and become a model
and an actress.

The two of them
then proceeded to be

this larger-than-life
power couple,

with Marina Cicogna
producing movies

that had roles for Bolkan,

including "Investigation
of a Citizen Above Suspicion,"

which was Elio Petri's
political thriller that won

the Academy Award for Best
Foreign Language Film in 1970.

Cicogna was an actual countess,

so the two of them
lived this high-society life,

where they were sort of the only
lesbians at the cool parties

in the late '60s
and all through the 1970s,

and Bolkan ended up working
on both of Lucio Fulci's

classic
giallos
-- this one and
"A Lizard in a Woman's Skin."

But during the time
they were making this film,

Florinda Bolkan
was also involved

in a couple of scandals.

One scandal involved wearing
some kind of backless dress

that got censored
from the tabloids,

and the other one
was stealing Richard Burton away

from Elizabeth Taylor.

And then in later years,
it turns out

that Florinda had had a torrid
affair with JFK back in 1963.

So, she was sort of a femme
fatale on three continents.

She was on the cover of
Playboy
twice, in 1975 and 1977,

and she continued acting
up until 2006,

when she retired
and opened the Villa Voltarina,

which is a kind of Airbnb
for the super wealthy

in the little lakeside town
of Bracciano.

She's still there
if you want to chat her up.

So, now I'm trying to avoid
thinking about the death

of little Michele,

because it was hard enough
to watch the first two kids die.

But I think everybody loved
Michele

because they let us see a lot
of his life,

and we wanted him
to live long enough to have sex

for the first time, right?

-Yeah, it was heartbreaking.

-But let's get back
to the movie,

where the police captain needs
to move fast on these murders,

or else the town vigilantes
are going to go old-school,

like rural Mississippi in 1895.

So, roll the flick. Go!

I should have mentioned this
before,

but Lucio Fulci got hauled
into court for that scene

where Barbara Bouchet comes on
to the little boy in the nude.

-Hmm.

-But they let him go
because he convinced the judge

that the boy and Barbara were
never in the same shot together.

Um, I don't know, Darcy.

Would anybody do
that scene today?

-I don't think so.

-I mean,
it was a different time.

What, was that 54 years ago?

But I remember a mainstream
movie around the same time,

"Summer of '42,"

where teenager's spending
the summer at the beach,

and he gets a crush
on Jennifer O'Neill,

who's a lonely war widow,
and they end up aardvarking.

And it's supposed to be
like a rite of passage.

And everybody took
the movie really seriously.

But I don't think anybody got
upset about that story.

Everybody went,
"Oh, that's so sweet.

That boy
with that much older..."

-Not anymore,
I don't know think.

-No? Also, "Private Lessons"...

-Oh, that's a good one, though.
-...came out.

Remember "Private Lessons"?

15-year-old boy seduced
by his housekeeper,

who was Sylvia Kristel,

Emmanuelle herself.
-I'm saying.

-They marketed
that as just a cute teen comedy.

-Probably not anymore.

-Also, isn't there some movie

where Robin Wright
and Naomi Watts

are having affairs
with each other's teenage sons?

-Yeah, And they got
pretty slammed for that.

-They did?
-Yeah.

-Okay, so I guess
no dads take their sons

to Mexican border-town
whorehouses anymore, right?

-We can't condone that, no.

-All the great Texas traditions
are getting frittered away.

-...being purified
by the sacrifice

and delivered from his sins
may receive both pardon

and everlasting rest.

Absolve, O Lord,
the souls of all the faithful

departed from every bond
of sin and grace.

-Amen.

-My...he was my own baby.
He was mine.

My boy. Michele. Oh, God.
Why? Why?

-...shall be in everlasting...

-Do thou accept our sacrifice
in behalf of this soul,

whom we this day commend
to thee?

Grant, O Lord,

that he may pass from death
to life with thy saints forever,

which thou didst promise of old
to Abraham and his seed.

-Eternal light shine upon them,
Lord, with thy saints forever

because Thou are merciful.

Eternal rest, grant unto them,
O Lord,

and let perpetual light
shine upon them.

-O Lord, Jesus Christ...

-Which one?

-The one with the child.

-...departed from the pains
of hell.

-The kid in the blue dress.

-Is that her daughter?
-Yes. Her name is Malvina.

It's a shame she's like that,
Commissioner.

Her brother is perfectly normal.

-Grant, we beseech thee,
Almighty God,

that the soul
of thy servant Michele,

who has departed out
of this world,

being purified by this sacrifice
and delivered from his sins,

may receive both pardon...

-He's here.
-...and everlasting rest...

-He's here!

-...from
our Lord Jesus Christ...

-I know he is.

-...who are with Thee
and the Holy Ghost...

-Here.
-...reigneth forever.

Here! I know! I know he is.

The killer is here with us!

I know it!

The killer! Oh! Oh-oh!
He's here.

I know!

-You see, Commissioner,
she went into the church

after everyone else
was already inside,

as if she didn't want
anyone to notice her.

Then, after a few minutes,
she ran away.

Because this woman
is
running away.

-Yes, but her sudden flight
from the church

could be explained by the fact
that she practices magic.

-No, no, because Maciara
doesn't practice a damn thing,

Commissioner.

They claim she's a witch

because she lives
with old Francesco

but for no better reason
than that.

Besides, in this part of Italy,
witches, whether male or female,

work in close cooperation
with established religion.

Understand me?
-Yes, completely.

This so-called Francesco
is some sort of magician.

He practices black magic?

-Yes. That's it, sir.
He's very much in demand.

They come to see him
from all over the place --

Sicily, Calabria, every place.

-I thought being a magician
was supposed to be profitable.

-Oh, it's a paying proposition,
all right.

Francesco's got a good-sized
bank account.

He lives way out here
because he likes it.

He's lived his whole life
here in these mountains.

-No. Go ahead.
-Mm.

-I can't understand why anyone
would want to live like this.

-Day to you, Francesco.
How have you been?

-Can't complain.

-Uh, uh...is Maciara here?

-If you don't see her, son,
then she's not here.

-When will she be back?
Any idea, Francesco?

-Ask St. Anthony.

I haven't seen her hide
nor hair for over two weeks now.

-You mean she left
two weeks ago,

and she hasn't been back here?
How come?

-Mm. Ahh.

And who is this?

-Well, he's a friend of mine.

-Ah.

If you're looking for Maciara
here, you're wasting time.

She does no evil,
and she knows none.

You listen.

Listen to the words
of old Francesco.

-I've just got one or two
questions more.

Have you been looking for her,
or aren't you interested?

-Sure I looked...

when she was near at hand.

I looked on Friday...

Friday at midnight.

St. Rocco came to me
that night in a vision

and said to go to the oak
near the crucifix.

-And what happened?

-I went to try and find her.

The rain was like a blanket
over the forest.

-Did you find anyone there
beneath a cross or by the tree?

-I found someone...the night
and nothing else.

St. Rocco is a big liar! Yeah.

Put your faith
only in St. Benedict.

Nobody's been betrayed by him.

-See here, Francesco.
-Yes?

-A crime was committed,

as you must know,
on that very spot Friday night.

-If you say so.

If St. Benedict
reveals the killer...

I'll pass the word on to you.

-He's just fooling with us.

He ought to be arrested,
Modesti.

Yeah, if you got a mind to start
a revolution in Accendura.

Look, Francesco.

All we want is to ask
Maciara a couple of questions.

-She hasn't been here
for two weeks.

And when she's coming back,

only St. Benedict
and St. Mark know that.

Excuse me. I gotta take a crap.

-If he's on the level,
only St. Benedict can tell us.

That's for sure.

And I bet he ain't talking.

-He may not know where she is,
but one thing's clear.

That woman has a reason
for going into hiding.

Now, what do you suppose
brings her here?

-Be mighty interesting
to know.

-Take this down.

In latest developments, comma,

a large contingent
of state police

has arrived here in Accendura
from the regional capital.

Period.

Apparently,
they will be used to search

the surrounding countryside.

But the reason

why the reserves are here in the
town is not immediately clear,

as there is no news as yet

concerning the disappearance
of any other children.

-Remember you asked me about

a lady called
Aurelia Avallone?

That's her with the baby.

-I happened to notice her
at the funeral the other day.

She seemed strange.

-We put up with her
only because she's the mother

of the priest, you know.

-Can you hear me?

I know
where you can find Maciara.

-Yes.

Yes, I know where it is,
more or less.

Who's speaking?

-Someone who wants justice.

Squadron two, follow...

See something red just
past white boulder to the left,

maybe an article of clothing.

Squadron three...

-Heh,
we could have guessed this.

She saw us coming
and flew the coop.

-Well, she's probably still
in the vicinity.

Tell the boys at the command
post to survey the area.

-Right. Telecontrol 20,

we found traces
of the woman in the cave.

-What is it, boy?
What you got, fella?

-My God,
he's found something down there.

Go on, boy. Dig!

-Maciara's child, you think?

-Yes. Hers and Francesco's.

It happened 15 years ago,
if that.

When she was a girl,
they brought her to Francesco

because she had the devil
in her.

According to rumors in town,
Francesco got rid of the devil

and in the process
got the poor kid pregnant.

But I repeat, sir,
it was only chatter,

because if there really was
a child, nobody ever saw it.

It could have been born dead.

Others said it might have lived
for a couple of years

and that she always kept
it hidden away

because it was the son
of the devil.

-A natural assumption.
Who established the paternity?

-Ignorance, Commissioner.

That's what they say
when a child is born deformed.

-You mean there was
no investigation at the time

into these matters, then?

-No. No, there wasn't.
I said these were rumors.

We've got enough to investigate.

-But, Captain,
are these merely superstitions?

-I don't know.

I think you'd better ask
Maciara.

-Aah! Let go!

Let me go!

I've murdered them.

I put them to death...

...all three of them.

I had seen the one
called Michele near the place

where I had buried my son.

-Maciara, she's the one
who put these here.

-Who said so?
-I found her yesterday.

-You bastards!
Go away!

-It's not your land, anyway.

-Don't you come back anymore!

I'll break you!

So, I warned them.

Instead, they came back
and started digging around.

-Maciara's a witch!

-I saw that the ground
was changed.

-We want Maciara's blood!

-But if you buried your son
in a cemetery...

I couldn't.

He was a child of the devil.

-I told you.

-Yes.

To conclude, then,

you killed those
three boys to punish them?

-That's right.

-You didn't mention it
to anyone, like old Francesco?

-I know Francesco's innocent.
I swear to God!

I asked him how to do it,
but I didn't tell him

why I wanted to know.

-What did you ask Francesco?
-How to do it.

-What do you mean to say?
Strangle a child?

-But I didn't strangle them.

-You say you...didn't
strangle them?

-I put them to death
in a different way.

-In what way did you do it?

-I don't want to say.

-Talk!
Answer the question.

-What do you care?
I told you I did it.

Put me in jail, and that's it.

-No. How did you do it?

-I put them to death.

I warned them.

I said...

I said...

"I'll break you!"

They shouldn't have done it!

And they did.
I told them not to!

They asked for what they got!

I gave it to them!

But they asked for it.

They went too far!

I said, "I'll break you!"

They shouldn't have!

They...they...they asked for it!

Death!

The bastards!

Aah! Raahhh!

-Hey, both of you,
come in here.

-Lucio Fulci --

we have talked about him
a lot on this show,

but usually we're talking
about his straight horror flicks

from the early '80s,
like "House by the Cemetery,"

"Zombie,"

"City of the Living Dead,"
"The Beyond."

What's his best
straight horror film?

-Hmm...

-I feel
like most people would say

either "Zombie"
or "City of the Living Dead,"

but personally
I love "New York Ripper."

-"New York Ripper"?

Quack!

-Just saying quack.
-It has a quack in it.

-It has some quacking.

-Anyway, those films are
what most people know him for,

ultra-violent fantasy horror
with a supernatural element.

But Fulci had been working in
the film industry for 35 years

before he made "Zombie,"

and he'd been making
his own films for 20 years,

starting with a 1959 comedy
called "The Thieves,"

starring the greatest
Italian comedian, Toto,

the Italian Charlie Chaplin.

Have you ever seen a Toto movie,
Darcy?

-Honestly, probably.

It sounds like something
my kid would make me watch.

-Your kid would like Toto?

-Yes. I feel like he would.

-A lot of Fulci's movies,

including the one
we're watching,

is about the clash between
the sophisticated, urban,

modern Italy,
symbolized by the city of Milan,

where the news reporter's from

and where Patrizia
has been partying too much.

And that's contrasted
with the bigoted,

superstitious small towns
of the South,

symbolized in this movie by the
fictitious town of Accendura.

And in that first Fulci movie,
in 1959,

Toto played a sort of Inspector
Clouseau police commissioner

who's promoted from a small town
to supposedly clean up Naples

and all the big-city crime
in Naples.

And of course Toto fails.

He thinks he's smarter
than the thieves and con men,

but he gets outfoxed
at every turn.

So, it's hard
for us to conceive of it today.

In fact,
if you read a Fulci biography,

it usually just says, "Well,
he directed a few comedies."

But Fulci was considered
a genius comedy director.

He was the go-to guy all
through the '60s for comedy,

and he was not bad
at musicals or Westerns, either.

He was often just a hired hand,
though,

and he didn't get full
artistic control of his films

until he made the hit
erotic thriller,

"One on the Top
of the Other" in 1969,

with a femme fatale
to end all femme fatales,

played by Marisa Mell,

and the success of that film
made it possible

for him to get backing
for his pet project,

which was called
"The Conspiracy of Torture,"

based on the true story
of a young woman

accused of murdering
her sexually abusive father

in 16th-century Italy.

The Catholic Church hated
this film.

They not only hated it,
but they ostracized Fulci.

They didn't excommunicate him,

but they made it known
that he was not welcome

in Catholic circles,

and they told faithful Catholics
not to go to the film.

According to Fulci,
the Catholic bishops,

who were a lot more powerful
then than they are today,

ensured that the film
would be a commercial failure.

And that's
when he turned to
giallo,

partly because
giallos
were assumed to be fiction,

and he thought he
could get away with narratives

that the government
and the church couldn't control.

So his first
giallo
was

"A Lizard in a Woman's Skin"
in 1971,

starring Florinda Bolkan,
the voodoo woman in this movie,

as a London upper-class wife

who gets into a sexual
relationship with the sex,

drugs, rock 'n' roll,
free-spirited Anita Strindberg

with weird results
for all involved.

And that movie was a huge
commercial success.

In the U.S.,

It played grindhouses and drive-
ins under the title "Schizoid,"

and that success made "Don't
Torture a Duckling" possible.

Now, I'm going into
all this detail about Fulci

to point out he was
kind of a late bloomer,

and that may be
why he doesn't get the attention

that Mario Bava
and Dario Argento get.

There would be all kinds
of stories in later years

about a rivalry
between Argento and Fulci

that got pretty nasty at times,

and it could have been caused
by something as simple

as Argento having
a runaway international hit

with his very first film,

"The Bird with
the Crystal Plumage," in 1970.

And Fulci, a guy who had worked
on 50 films by that time,

still waiting
on public recognition

or some kind of public
recognition other than,

"Oh, that guy that hates
the church."

So, it was believed in Italy

that the weird animal
titles were what made

those early
giallos
successful.
In fact,

Argento's next two films were
the "Cat o' Nine Tails"

and "Four Flies on Grey Velvet,"

and so Argento might have
regarded Fulci as a copycat.

Neither man was well-liked.

They both could be abrasive to
people that they didn't respect,

and so it's not surprising

that when Fulci was
asked about the animal titles,

they said, "Did you copy
the animal titles from Argento?"

And he said, "No.

A lot of Italian genre directors
are animal lovers.

Mario Bava loved cats.

Riccardo Freda loves horses, and
Dario Argento loves himself."

So, back to the movie.

Fulci got hammered, though.

He got hammered
for three scenes in this movie.

One is the scene
we talked about,

the 12-year-old boy getting
teased

by the naked Barbara Bouchet,

but he was also criticized
for the over-the-top violence

in two other scenes -- one
we're about to watch right now

and one that ends the movie, the
very last scene in the movie.

And you know who did
those violent effects?

-Carlo Rambaldi.
-Yes.

-The guy
who would go on to do "E.T."

and "Alien" and "King Kong."

And that's
when he was working for guys

who didn't speak Italian.

Put him with an Italian
like Fulci, and you get magic.

In fact, it was Fulci's
film "Lizard in a Woman's Skin"

that made Rambaldi famous
in the first place

because of the scene,
the dissected-dogs scene,

another case where
Fulci got hauled into court,

this time for animal cruelty.

Rambaldi had to go into court
to prove

that no real dogs were used
in the scene,

and then he still got attacked
by animal-rights people

for creating that image
in the first place.

But after all that,

Fulci goes, "Carlo, you are
the man I want to work with."

And so we get the beginning

of ridiculously graphic gore
in Italy.

I made three dolls out of wax
and painted them black...

...because the spell was
for death.

I stuck pins all the way
through them.

You have to do it 13 times.

Then I said the words you have
to say to command the devils.

Thirteen devils enter
someone's mouth.

By the mouth, they infect
the blood, and he kills.

-Who? Who does the killing?

-Anybody.

Man or woman.

-You sure you couldn't be
mistaken?

You're not mistaking it
with some other night?

-No.
I'm certain it was Friday.

Why don't you check my book
and see for yourself?

On the night when they killed
poor, little Michele Spriano,

I found Maciara someplace
near the ruined fort.

-Well, isn't that
quite a distance from the oak?

-Yes, sir.
A good 13 miles, sir.

Nobody could walk.

-But you saw her.
You're very certain it was her?

-Yes. No mistake.

I even asked the girl what she
was doing on a night like that.

And she swore at me.

-I see. Thanks. That's all.

-Are you convinced
by that story?

The only thing that
Maciara has in her conscience

is sticking pins in dolls.

-Yes, yes, I know.
She's a bit crazy. That's all.

Still, I'd like to keep her
till I'm absolutely sure.

-What's the point of that?

You're beginning to be
like the people

who want somebody arrested
at all costs.

-I'm trying to avoid trouble
if I can.

-Expecting more trouble,
are you?

-No. No, I guess not.
She's innocent.

Nobody here
says she's not innocent.

-Right.

-She's innocent.
So, she can be released.

Yes, she can.

So, release her in the morning.
-Yes, sir.

♪Rhythm ♪

♪Feeling in the rhythm ♪

♪Rhythm ♪

♪Rhythm ♪

♪That's the secret
of creation ♪

♪Rhythm ♪

♪Leaving all it, baby ♪

♪Rhythm ♪

♪Rhythm ♪

♪So, a miracle sensation ♪

♪In the beginning,
there was only man ♪

♪Until a woman came
and raised her hand ♪

♪In the beginning... ♪

-Aaahh!

-And now
here's the new generation.

Go away.
Man, go away!

♪I've seen a lot of women ♪

♪But I've never seen a girl
like you ♪

♪You got me going
out of my head ♪

♪Doing things
I'd never thought I'd do ♪

♪Yeah ♪

♪The first time I saw you ♪

-What?

♪Young kids giving me
such a feeling ♪

♪The next thing to hypnotize ♪

♪My heart keeps on pounding ♪

♪My head goes round and round ♪

♪I worship everything
you step ♪

♪Stuck on this old ground ♪

♪That's why I'm crazy ♪

♪Oh, crazy about you, baby ♪

♪Ow ♪

♪That's why I'm so crazy ♪

♪Oh, crazy about you, baby ♪

♪All right ♪

♪I seen a lot of bad things,
things that make me mad ♪

♪Your loving keeps me
so at ease ♪

-Aah!

♪The best love I ever had ♪

♪Yeah ♪

♪Every time I see you,
my heart just stands still ♪

♪You've got me missin'
about your love ♪

♪The way you... ♪

-Aahhh!

♪My heart... ♪

-Aah!

♪...around and round ♪

-A change of mood now.

Let's listen to the lovely
voice of Ornella Vanoni.

Ornella, take it away!

-Aah!

♪Quei giorni insieme a te ♪

♪Io non li rivivrei ♪

-Aah!

♪E stata un'odissea ♪

-Aah!

♪Difficile, inutile ♪

♪Noi eravamo in due ♪

♪Che adoravamo te ♪

♪Una ero io, l'altro eri tu ♪

♪E non avevi il tempo di
volere bene a me ♪

♪Ma io non so perché ♪

♪ Quel pochissimo che dai ♪

♪Agli occhi miei pare di piu ♪

♪Dell'amore che ho
incontrato poi ♪

♪Quei giorni insieme a te ♪

♪ Io li cancellerei ♪

♪Ripeto fra di me: ♪

♪"Che stupida! Che stupida!" ♪

♪E mi vergogno un po' ♪

♪ Di averti detto si ♪

♪Oggi che ho piu dignità io ♪

♪Non accetterei l'amore
in briciole ♪

♪Che tu allora davi a me ♪

♪ Come fosse carità ♪

♪Ma se è così, chissà perché
penso ancora ai ♪

♪Giorni insieme a te ♪

♪Ma se è così ♪

♪Chissà perché penso
ancora ai ♪

♪Giorni insieme a te ♪

-Ugh! That image
of Maciara dying on the shoulder

of the autostrada?

The visuals in this movie
are just amazing.

I think Matrciara did think
she was guilty, though, right?

She thought the voodoo dolls
had killed those boys.

She just didn't know
who did the actual killing.

But the camera
lingering on every wound

as she's hit
with chains and boards and hands

and murdered by the whole town.

Florinda Bolkan said
it took four days

to shoot the whole sequence,
but Fulci was very helpful.

He would sit with her
between shots

and reassure her

that she wouldn't
have to suffer much longer,

which was probably a lie.

And then the song is being
played while she's being killed.

That is a love ballad
written by Riz Ortolani,

the film's composer.

But it's sung by a woman

whose voice would be instantly
recognizable to any Italian

in the year 1972,

Ornella Vanoni, known as the
"First Lady of Italian Song,"

and the words of the song are
"Those days together with you

will never return,"

as though Maciara is thinking of
her one true love as she dies.

Ooh!

Anyway, there is no town
called Accendura in Italy,

but those white-walled streets
are the town

of Monte Sant'Angelo
on the Adriatic coast,

which to this day is mostly
farmers and livestock breeders

and small-shop owners.

Population about 10,000.

And even though Fulci himself
was a Roman,

he was always fascinated
by the peasantry.

He saw rural Italy as a place

where the church oppressed
the people,

and the people themselves

were full of superstition
and backwardness.

But he was an avowed Marxist,

and that seems like a
contradiction to me, actually.

If you're a Marxist,

you're supposed to be a fan
of the people, right?

You don't go around
saying they're all stupid.

-Are you actually asking me
that?

-Yeah.
-Oh. I guess.

Marxism is all about the people
taking everything over.

-Taking over things, right?

Everybody in the town,
though, is a pervert.

I mean, Giuseppe is a voyeur.

He spies on the prostitutes
from the city

when they're doing their thing.

It's interesting to me
that prostitutes drive in

from the city
to service the rubes, you know?

Anyway, all three
of the dead boys are voyeurs.

That's what they were doing.

Patrizia is drug-addicted,

and in every scene
there's some indication

that she's probably
way off the scale

in the kinky-sex department.

-Which we like.

-Those men who kill Maciara

seem to enjoy their mission
a little too much.

Maciara and Francesco
have something going on.

We're not sure what that is.

May have created
a dead baby a few years back.

Remember the dead baby?

All kinds of secret agendas
raging through this little town.

And even though the superfast
autostrada now cuts through

the valley and connects it
to all the big cities,

nothing seems
to ever change there.

So, back to the movie. Roll it!

You know, there was
a whole slew of American movies

about small-town decadence
back in the '50s,

and I love all those movies,

especially
"Written on the Wind."

Did you ever see that movie?

-Rock Hudson
and Lauren Bacall?

-Yes, but the character
I'm thinking about,

though, is Dorothy Malone
as the bad girl

in the Texas oil family.

Robert Stack is her daddy,
but he can't control her.

She's wild and reckless
and spoiled,

and she does that crazy dance
in her bedroom

while Robert Stack
is dying actually downstairs.

I like those sad movies
from the '50s

about desperate people
in small towns.

"Picnic" is another one.
"Some Came Running."

"A Face in the Crowd"
with Andy Griffith.

Small towns full of scandals
and repressed desires

and forbidden sex and suicide
and abuse

and way too much alcohol.

People want to escape
the small town,

but they can't get out
of this bleak place.

They should have a name
for that genre, like film noir.

It's not film noir

because film noir
has always took place in cities.

Ones in small towns

should be called
backwater noir or podunk noir.

But don't you love
those bleak movies

about small-town desperation?

No, I don't.

-Well, it's an acquired taste,
I guess.

-I guess.

-A horrible crime, bred
of ignorance and superstition.

We construct gleaming highways,

but we're a long way
from modernizing the mentality

of people like this.

I'm going to discover the men
who did it and punish them.

-Right you are, sir.

That means punishing
the entire town.

Impallomeni? Impallomeni?!

Are you satisfied?

-Huh?
-Listen here.

Every now and again,

it's a good idea to think twice
and keep your mouth shut.

-But, Captain,
I was telling the truth.

-I'm aware of that.

But a little truth goes
a long way in this town.

Next time, remember that.
-Yes, sir.

-Oh, look.
Your doll's been broken.

Isn't there any way
you can get it fixed?

-If you want,
I'll buy you a nice, new one.

-Excuse me, Miss.
She doesn't understand.

She's deaf and dumb.
The little girl is subnormal.

Retarded.

-Oh, I didn't know.

But all the same,
there's no reason

why she should have a doll
without a head on its neck.

Is there a shop around here
somewhere

where we can buy you
another doll?

-There's a stationer's
over there.

They also sell toys.

-Good.
We'll buy you a brand-new one.

-Happy?
-Martelli, get moving!

-I'm coming right away.

Well, Miss, I...

-I wish you'd stop
addressing me like that.

All right? My name is Patrizia.

-A pleasure.

My name is Andrea Martelli.

-Hello.

-Martelli, are you coming?
-I'll be there in a minute.

So, I'll see you.

-Ciao.

Now, don't be sad.
I'll buy you a present.

-Come with me.
It's all right. That's it!

Come on!

-We're going to buy you
a nice, new doll.

-Come on.
Let's do it another day.

Those two are always around.

-So, what?
Say I spend all the dough.

Without any money,

those boys won't even let
you watch.

-Look at those police.

Do you think all those police
would be here like that

without some reason?

That's a search party
for the killer

of those other kids, you jerk.
Listen. I'm going home.

-Ah, the police are doing
their mat training, stupid,

like last summer.

They already caught the killer.

Maciara is dead.

I tell you,
the murderer is dead and buried.

Come on.
You're just a scaredy cat.

-I'm gonna go anyhow.
I'm not afraid.

I got enough money.
They did it with Barra.

And he's crazy. You coming?

-I don't feel like it.
I'm afraid.

-Scaredy cat!
Come on now.

-No.

-Go on and play soccer, sissy.

You like that, don't you?

-I'm not a sissy.

-You're a sissy.

-You're a liar.

-Oh, go play soccer
with Don Alberto!

-Mario! Mario, come back here!
It's getting late now.

-Who gives a damn?

-Huh?

-Pass it to me!
Come on! I'll get it.

-Okay, pick it up.
Pick it up!

-I want to use my head.
-That's good. Okay.

-Nice shot. Okay, go.
Come on. Move it.

-Jiggle them real good.
Kick it. Kick it nice and hard.

Okay. Right in the goal.

-Hey. What's wrong?

-Nothing's wrong.
-He's worried about Mario.

-Just a minute.

What's he done?

-I told Mario not to go.

-What are you talking about?

-He went to the haunted house
alone.

-Alone?

-Don Alberto,

the boys go there because...

-Because certain females
go there.

-What's this?
-A couple of girls who...

-But you're so young.

-Right here, right here.
Come on.

I'm right in front
of the goalie.

-Okay, we'll try it.

-You're just boys. Boys!

-Not us. Mario.
He goes there. That's all.

-I told him not to go 'cause
he might get caught by the,

you know, caught by the monster.

That's what I said. I swear.

But he said there wasn't
any monster.

He said nothing would happen
because Maciara's dead.

The murderer is dead.

-The murderer is dead.

How stupid can you be?
People commit an act of folly.

And there's the result.

Mario, that idiot isn't scared
of going all the way up there

because Maciara's dead
and buried.

Peppino, no one's ever
been killed because of magic.

No one. It's all nonsense.

-Don Alberto,
that's just what I told Mario

because I said
the killer was still around.

-That's what everyone knows.
-Yeah.

-Thank God. The fool.

All of you stay here. Okay?

-Uh-huh.
-Okay?

-Yeah.

-Why did you squeal on us?

-Go on. You couldn't wait
for me to open my mouth.

-Get it!

-Come on.
-Come on!

-Let's go.
That's a good shot.

Very good. Okay.

-Well,
you know how to change a tire?

-Let me have a jack.

-I'll give you 2,000 lire.
All right?

Which would you prefer,
a kiss or money?

-It's more than just a bruise
this time.

It's a contusion.

-Yes. A violent blow
by a blunt weapon.

-In my opinion,

the autopsy will show
that the wound wasn't fatal

but that the boy died
by drowning.

-Yes. Death by suffocation,

like what happened
to Bruno LoCascio.

Only there the child
was smothered.

He made an easier job of it
this time.

-The priest found him.

He was passing on his bicycle
and saw the child's body.

He guessed
what had happened right away.

-What time was it exactly,
Father?

-Do we question him?
-Later.

-If and when the reporters
decide to leave him in peace.

-Captain, one second.
Captain Modesti?

This time,
people can't blame Maciara.

-You don't think so?

I can't see any of them with
a look of guilt on their faces.

The only thing that I
can
see
is a look of fear.

-Ciao, Montanelli.

-Martelli, please.

-A rose by any other name,
right?

Oh. Are you interested
in this kind of literature?

-Not especially. Are you?

-Would you like a drink?

-No, thanks.
I'm leaving right away.

-So, what did you come here for?

-To bring you back your lighter.

How'd you know it was mine?
There are no initials on it.

-You know anybody else
in town able to buy it?

-You're right.
I paid a fortune for it.

I'm glad you didn't steal it
from me.

Didn't you give it a thought?

-Actually,
I
did
give it a thought.

I thought of handing it
over to the police.

-Why?

-Because it was found lying
not far away.

-Not far away from where?

-From where another boy
was killed.

-No...not another one.

But when?

-You mean you didn't know?

-I don't know anything.

Stop it!

Martelli, your suspicions
are bullshit.

You're the only one I've seen.

-Where were you tonight?

-That's my business.

Don't try to tell me that you've
begun to have weird ideas.

-So, you're saying
that inside of three hours

you covered 300 kilometers.

Without stopping, you mean?

-Just up and down,
like an idiot?

-Yes, up and down,
like an idiot.

Is there anything wrong
with that?

-Yes.
There's a little thing wrong.

The gasoline.

At that speed,

your car gets at the most
five kilometers to the liter.

So, you'd have needed
at least 80 liters.

-But my car has two tanks.

-Each holding 30 liters. Sixty.
No, miss.

It's mathematically certain

that you must have stopped
to get gas.

-All right, I stopped.

-Then why did you deny it?

-Because...

Because I didn't just stop
to get gas.

Because I also made a phone call
and I noticed

that the attendant jotted
my number down.

-Then what?

-I called a camp at Maratea.

I knew there were
two foreigners there,

two boys who had some stuff.

-Hashish?

-Well, marijuana. I didn't...

I didn't want to get them
involved in anything.

-What's between you
and old Francesco?

You have relations with him?

-What relations do you mean?

I don't have any relations
with...

-You never go to see him?

-No, never.

-And if I say I saw you
go to see him with my own eyes?

-All right.
I went there two or three times.

You see, I...I like to read
about black magic, and so I...

Oh, for God's sake,
what's wrong with it?!

I'm bored stiff with this place.

I know every inch of Accendura
by heart just...

just from riding around, trying
to think of something to do.

And the people...

I can't talk to them because
they don't understand me.

At least...
At least Francesco, he makes...

He makes me laugh.

-You said this camp was
in Alberobello.

-Yes. That's it. Alberobello.

-But a minute ago
you said Maratea.

-Yes, yes! Maratea!
Well, what do you want from me?!

-Just one thing for the moment.

You mustn't leave town.

-Sure.
If I'd done as you suggest,

I'd have told the police
he changed my tire.

My God, you're a genius.

If somebody told them that,
I'd be in the clink by now.

I threw the lighter
into the john.

I don't give a damn
how much it cost.

-In my opinion, you're crazy.

I mean, why get rid
of the cigarette lighter

if you're going to tell me
about the boy?

-Well, I've
got to talk to someone, don't I?

I mean, you're the only
civilized human being

in this lousy place.

-Thanks a bunch.

-I'm damned if I know how
my father got himself born here.

Look at it.

The hypocrites in this town
make me sick.

They make a point
of putting flowers

on the poor victim's grave,

and, meanwhile, the person
who killed them is one of them.

And you people give them rope.

You know something?

-I like to think so.

-Well, this looks like the head

of the Donald Duck
I gave Malvina.

-Oh?

Oh, yeah.
I put it there myself...

...for that macabre touch.

I thought you bought her a doll.

-They were all ugly.

The only decent one was
Donald Duck.

Where did you find it?

-Near the washtub.

Where do you suppose
the rest is?

-Okay, Darcy the duckling.
-Yes?

-I want to make sure

that I get this one plot detail
absolutely correct,

because this is the key
to solving the case.

Patrizia sees a copy
of
The Milan Standard,

the newspaper Martelli
works for.

And on the front page there's
a picture of Mario's body,

and next to his body
there's a Donald Duck head,

which Patrizia recognizes
as the head of the doll

she purchased for Malvina,
the deaf-and-dumb girl,

Father Don Alberto's sister.

And the reporter
for
The Milan Standard

happens to be in her house
at the moment

she sees the Donald Duck head
in the newspaper,

because in the previous scene
he had brought to her

her expensive lighter that
he found near the crime scene,

because he figured
that if Patrizia has anything

to do with the case,

he would find out and get
the biggest story of the year

for his newspaper,
but she seems genuinely shocked

that another boy
has been killed.

But when she's questioned
by the police,

she gets caught in a lie,

which is a lie related
to her recreational-drug use.

But they don't have
enough evidence to charge her.

Plus, they think she's
just crazy.

And the result
of all this information

is that Martelli says,

"Where do you suppose the rest
of the Donald Duck doll is?"

And so, the two of them
go searching for the rest

of the Donald Duck doll.

And that's what sets off
the chain of events

that lead
to the incredible conclusion

of "Don't Torture a Duckling,"

truly one of the best
third acts ever written.

But -- so here's my point.

-Okay.

-If I could ask the two veteran
screenwriters one question...

The writers were
Roberto Gianviti,

who also wrote "A Lizard
in a Woman's Skin,"

and Gianfranco Clerici,

who wrote such classics
as "Cannibal Holocaust"

and "Emanuelle
Around the World"

and "Nazi Love Camp 27."

Anyway, so my question for
Roberto and Gianfranco would be,

"Why is it important
to find the rest

of the broken Donald Duck doll?"

We already know the location
of the head.

It's in that picture,
so they know where it is.

Many writers have complimented
this script

as being damn near
perfect script.

This is one place
I smell a cheat.

Why would you go looking for it?

Please argue with me
if you disagree.

At any rate,
we're now going to see why

Tomas Milian as Martelli,
the newspaper reporter,

is in the movie.

Tomas Milian...oh, boy.

He was the son
of a Cuban general

who was arrested
by the new government in Cuba

when Tomas was 12 years old,

and his dad was so distraught
from being arrested

that he committed suicide
in front of his whole family.

That was
when Tomas was 12 years old.

So, the family then fled Cuba
for New York City,

and Tomas studied
at the Actors Studio

under Lee Strasberg himself.

Then he appeared on Broadway.

He did a lot of serious theater.

And then he was "discovered"
by the director Mauro Bolognini

and used in a lot of Bolognini's
films and other films made

by the gay directors
in Italy of that era.

Milian was not gay.
He was so much as bisexual.

I think he was bisexual.

But Bolognini and Pasolini
and Zeffirelli and Visconti,

all the big gay names
in Italian cinema

tended to stick together,

and they shared
the same actors and writers.

And he ended up being typecast
as a sadistic killer

because of several
brutal performances

in the spaghetti westerns
of Sergio Corbucci.

And he also played many killers

in action movies and police
thrillers for Umberto Lenzi.

My point being that if
an Italian audience saw him

on the screen,

they're going to think
he's the killer right away.

Also, before we go back
to the movie,

how cool is it

that Fulci got the great
Greek actress Irene Papas

to play Malvina's mother,
a relatively small role?

Irene Papas was not only
a movie star.

She was still at the peak
of her career.

She blew away critics with
a string of classy performances

in the '60s -- "The Guns of
Navarone," "Zorba the Greek,"

"Anne of the Thousand Days,"
"Z."

She frequently worked
with Anthony Quinn.

She had a famous affair
with Marlon Brando.

She always gave
Elia Kazan credit for launching

her career in the '50s.

She was the very definition
of A-list talent,

so the last place
you expect her to turn up

is a
giallo
like this.

Maybe it's because she was also
a member of the Communist Party,

and he was
in the Communist Party of...

She was in Communist Party
of Greece.

Fulci was Communist Party
of Italy.

So, she and Fulci got along,
I guess.

But she was also loved
by the Greek Orthodox Church

because she recorded all their
traditional songs and hymns,

and people in Greece

would will listen to those songs
and hymns on holidays.

They still do.
She was born in 1926.

Oh, this is Irene Papas'
centennial year.

Born in the tiny village
of Chiliomodi

and died of Alzheimer's in
the same tiny village in 2022.

All right, Darcy.
We're heading for the barn.

Roll the movie.

-All right. We're headed
for the barn, are we?

-Yeah.

I never thought about
why people say that.

It's a horse thing, I think.

-Probably.

-I think it means
the horse goes faster

if you point towards the barn.

And from here on out,
the movie really speeds up.

-I don't think that's something
you've said before.

-No! I'm trying to go for
the rural thing with this movie.

This is rural Italy.

-I feel like you don't have to.

-I realize that now.
-Okay.

-Andrea?

There's nothing here.

-Go on. Keep looking.

-Where did you find that head,
anyway?

-Right where you are now,
a little behind you.

Keep on looking.

-It's useless.
-Don't give up.

-A kid or a dog could have
carried it away.

-I found another.

-Another head.

-It's just like I said.

The priest's house is
right there.

Malvina came out that night
and saw the kid being murdered.

She did the same thing
to her dolls,

but she didn't mean
to behead them.

She probably just squeezed
too hard.

Apparently, what
she'd seen had made

a horrible impression on her.

-That's very likely.

So, the poor child imitated
the murderer.

A child is capable
of such a thing.

And Malvina, you already
know about her mental condition.

-Father...

if Malvina was there
during the killing,

do you think she might be able
to recognize the murderer?

-If she got a good look at him,
why not?

-How is she going to be
able to tell us what she knows

if she's deaf and dumb?
And besides, she's--

-No, no, no,
she's not a moron,

if that's what you're thinking.

She's retarded.

At the age of six, she has
a mind of a child of three.

If we questioned her
the right way,

we'd surely find out
who she saw that night,

if she really saw him.

-Cigarette, Father?

-Mnh-mnh.

All it takes is a great deal
of patience and gentleness.

You don't really expect that

from the local police, now,
do you?

-She's right.
We ought to do it.

-Mm.

-My son has forgotten
one thing.

At night, the door is locked,
always.

And not because of thieves
but because of Malvina.

Precisely for her,

in case she got the idea
of going out.

You know how careful I am,
Alberto.

-Yes, Mother. You are.

That rather explodes
the whole theory.

-Ah, I brought some candy
for Malvina.

-Mm.

-The door is always locked
at night.

So, Malvina didn't go out.
She didn't see a damn thing.

And she tore off the heads just
because she felt like it.

Is that the sort of crap they'll
publish in your newspaper?

-The door
was
open.

Because her mother left it
open on the way out.

-Oh, really?

And where does she go
at that time of night?

Picking daisies?

-To kill those boys.

-Oh, honestly, where do
you get all those crazy ideas?

-Let me tell you something
I overheard.

Dona Aurelia's husband
committed suicide.

In town,
they say it was her fault.

Whether it was or not,
one thing is certain.

She tormented him
with her jealousy.

She's mad.

-But...what has that
got to do with the kids?

-Apply the same thing to them.

They were all
from the parish church.

They stole her son's affection.

A form of jealousy
might drive her to murder.

-I think the whiskey
went to your head, you know.

Hello? Oh. Hello, there.

No, I haven't.

But did she say that?

-No, I just had a feeling
maybe she'd taken the child

to thank you for your kindness.

The candy. The doll?

-No one's been here.

Sure I will, if I see them.

Of course.
Don't worry, Don Alberto.

That was Don Alberto.

He asked for Aurelia
and Malvina.

He can't find them
anywhere at all.

-You know her?

-Yep, I know her,
but I haven't seen her.

-Thank you. Let's go.

-We should have gone
to the police.

-You fool!

With this crazy story, they
probably would have arrested me.

If she kills her,
it'll be our fault.

We're the ones
that made her realize

that she'd have to shut her up,
even if she is deaf and dumb.

Poor, little thing.

-There's someone to ask.

Hello. Have you seen
Dona Aurelia around here?

The priest's mother?

-Yes. I saw her up
on the mountain

a little while ago
with that little girl of hers.

-Thanks.

You think a mother
could kill her own child?

-If she were mad.

If she's taken her up there,

we'll get there in time
for the funeral.

-You're joking, I hope.

Because you don't have any kids.

-Do you?
-Two boys.

-And I suppose you have
a wife, too.

Too bad.

-No!

-No, Alberto! Leave her with me.

-No! Don't!

-Oh...oh.

-Wait!

-Alberto!
-No! Alberto! You've gone mad.

Oh!

Alberto!
Listen to me, Alberto.

-What is it?

-Save her or Malvina
will be killed.

He'll kill her.

He's mad.
My son is mad!

Malvina, too,
will go to Paradise, Mama.

She will be
with the angels in heaven.

It's not for myself
that I do this.

It's for them...

...for all those blessed,
innocent ones.

Nobody must stop me.
I have to save them.

They are my brothers,
and I love them.

-Don Alberto?

Don Alberto, you found Malvina.

Good. We'll take her
to your house, and, uh,

and you can get some rest.

If you want,
I'll carry the child.

All right?

Please?

Aah!

-Ooh! Aah!

Malvina, come here.

-I won't hurt you.

Aah!

Aah!

-Your face!

Oh! Aah!

-Ooh!

Aah!

-Ah...ah...aah...aaahhhh!

-Just certain females go there.

-They grow up.

They feel the stirrings
of the flesh

and fall into the arms
of sin...

...sin that God easily forgives,
yes, but what of tomorrow?

What sordid acts
will they commit?

What sins will they enact

when they no longer come
to confession?

Then they will really be dead.

Dead forever, for all eternity.

They are my brothers,
and I love them.

My children, I absolve you,

in the name of the Father
and the Son

and of the Holy Spirit.

♪Quei giorni insieme a te ♪

♪Io non li rivivrei ♪

♪E stata un'odissea ♪

♪Difficile, inutile ♪

♪Noi eravamo in due ♪

♪Che adoravamo te ♪

♪Una ero io... ♪

-That final sequence
on the cliff,

that has got to be in the top
ten set pieces, don't you think?

-I do. It's amazing.

-And Fulci got ripped for what
people call gratuitous violence

after the priest goes off
the cliff.

But I have to say,

I enjoyed every jagged rock
that he hit on the way down

and every gaping rip
in his smug, self-righteous,

pretty-boy face.

That is more
Carlo Rambaldi work.

So, "Don't Torture
a Duckling" premiered

at the mid-sized Cinema Fiamma
in Rome.

That's the same theater

that Fellini always used
for his premieres.

And I'm mentioning that
because it's a famous film place

that had to close in 2017.

But the mayor of Rome,
Roberto Gualtieri,

worked behind the scenes and
got it purchased by the state

and reopened it as a
cultural center just this year.

And it continues to operate
as a movie theater.

So, victory for the efforts
to save Rome's

historic movie theaters.

The movie was a huge
box-office success in Italy,

but it derailed Fulci's career

because he was blacklisted
by the church

and friends of the church,

and so much so that
he had to move to television,

make adventure movies
and Westerns for a while.

He started to come back
as a film director

five years later
with another
giallo

called "The Psychic,"
starring Jennifer O'Neill,

and made some more sex comedies.

He made a solid mafia drama
called "Contraband,"

and then he made "Zombie,"

and he started becoming the
horror legend that he is today.

He's the only director

who had three movies on
the Video Nasty list in England.

And speaking of England,

"Don't Torture a Duckling"
was never released in the U.K.

and never released in the U.S.,

possibly because serial child
murder was just not something

American distributors were ready
to sign up for at that time.

I actually don't understand
the church's anger, though,

because yes,
the priest is crazy,

but he's crazy in that
theologically twisted way.

He's not a pedophile.

He wants to save children
from the modern world

because he thinks the modern
world is sending him to hell.

And that was Marc Porel
as Don Alberto, the priest.

Porel was a Swiss actor
who started working in Italy

in the late '60s

and quickly became
well-known for his good looks

and his overall coolness.

He was romantically linked
to several of his co-stars,

notably Barbara Magnolfi,
star of "Suspiria."

But he developed
a reputation for heavy drug use,

and that caused directors to
grow wary of dealing with him.

He died in 1983, in Casablanca,
at the age of just 34.

The official cause of death
was meningitis,

but he had lifelong issues
with heroin,

and that made people wonder
what really happened

to him in Casablanca.

But that's
"Don't Torture a Duckling,"

probably one of the best films
we have ever had on this show.

-Why do you say "probably"?

-I say probably because
when I praise a foreign film,

some of our fans say,

"Well, you're overreading it
because it's exotic."

-I don't think that's true,
necessarily.

-Here's the thing.

Italy has to be treated
differently

because for a long time,
Italy was the only country

that could compete with the U.S.
in horror.

-Agreed. Mail time.

-All right.

-Here you go.
Speaking of Italian horror,

one of our fans
has written a really thick book

on "Cannibal Holocaust."

It's from Nathan Wardinski
of Madison, Wisconsin.

-Big book here.
Oh, here's the letter.

Okay. Dense type, 250 pages.
Okay.

This guy loves
"Cannibal Holocaust."

"Dear Joe Bob Briggs,
enclosed is a copy

of my book 'Dissecting
"Cannibal Holocaust."'

I thought you might be
interested in it,

especially since "The
Last Drive-In" screened the film

a few years ago."

And there are still people
who are not happy

that we did screen
the film a few years ago.

"The book takes a close look
at 'Cannibal Holocaust'

and its connections
to various film genres,

as well as anthropology, nature
studies, ethics and censorship,

and media and journalism.

Although the book was published
by an academic press,

I've approached the topic
in a way

that ought to be readable
by general audience.

I'm also the host
of the public-radio program

'Sounds of Cinema,'

and I've been reviewing films
for over 20 years.

Hope you enjoy the book.

Best, Nathan Wardinski.
Madison, Wisconsin."

Well, thank you, Nathan.

As you may know,

because I've talked about it
before,

I've just been overwhelmed
by the number

of academic studies
of films that,

when they were first released,
played in grindhouses

and drive-ins

and were considered
beneath the contempt

of even the daily-newspaper
reviewers, much less professors.

It's like the world has turned
upside down in my lifetime,

but in a good way.

So, I'll read this
with great interest,

and I'll spread the word.

And I guess that's it for now.

Uh, stay with us for the second
movie on "Don't Night."

"Don't Go in the Woods."

Yay!

-I'm Joe Bob Briggs
with Darcy the Mail Girl,

reminding you that
sometimes you're going to feel

like your life is in Season 5,

and the writers are just making
stuff up to keep it interesting.

But all that means is that
a spin-off with random people

you know is coming soon.

-What? What?

-And the drive-in
will never die.

-Yeah.

-Newlywed couple meets
with the pastor of a church

that they're interested
in joining.

And so, the couple talks a while
and the pastor says,

"I would love to have
you two as members of my church,

but there's something
I must ask before you can join.

You have to abstain from sex
for two weeks."

So, the couple agrees
to these terms,

and two weeks later
they come back to see the pastor

and he says, "How did it go?"

And the husband says,

"Well, we almost made
it the full two weeks.

But yesterday she bent
down to pick up a package

of frozen vegetables.

And I was overcome with desire,

and I just couldn't help
myself."

The pastor thinks for a moment.
Then he says, "Well, I'm sorry,

but you're not welcome
in my church."

And the husband says,
"Well, I understand.

We're not welcome
in Walmart anymore, either."

-Yay!

-One more.
I have a rural joke.

-Okay. Let's see rural.

-A farmer has five female pigs,
and times are really tough.

So, he goes to the county
fair to try to sell his pigs.

But when he gets there, he meets
a farmer who has five male pigs.

So, they kind of talk together,

and they decide it's
better to mate their pigs

and split the offspring 50/50.

So, the two farmers live
60 miles away from each other.

So, they agree that
they'll each drive 30 miles,

and they'll meet
at the halfway point

and mate the pigs in a field.
So, the first morning,

the farmer with the female pigs
gets up at 5:00 a.m.,

loads the pigs
into the family station wagon,

and drives the 30 miles
to the meeting-up point.

So, while the pigs
are going at it,

he says to the other farmer,

"How will I know
if they're pregnant?"

And the other farmer says,
"If they're in the grass grazing

in the morning,
then they're pregnant.

If they're in the mud,
then they're not pregnant."

So, the next morning
they're rolling in the mud.

So, he hoses them down.

He loads them back
into the station wagon,

and he tries again.

Following morning, mud again.

This continues all week long,
until one morning,

the farmer is so tired he
can't even get out of bed.

So, he calls to his wife, and he
says, "Honey, look outside

and tell me if the pigs are
in the mud or in the field."

And the wife yells back at him,
"Neither one.

They're in the station wagon,

and one of them is beeping
the horn."

That was one of the
best pig jokes ever told.

-I mean, I forgot
what you were talking about,

if I'm going to be real.

It was something about pigs.