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1
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I'm going out to South Park
gonna have myself a time
2
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Friendly faces everywhere
humble folks without temptation
3
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I'm goin out to south park
gonna leave my woes behind
4
00:00:25,770 --> 00:00:28,900
Ample parking day or night
people spouting howdy neighbor
5
00:00:29,110 --> 00:00:32,030
I'm heading out to south park
to see if i cant unwind
6
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I like girls with big fat titties
really big fat titties
7
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So come on out to south park
and meet some friends of mine
8
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What the heck?
9
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Whoa! What a huge package!
10
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" To Butters Stotch. "
Oh boy! It's for me! It's for me!
11
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"Sent from: Japan. Konichi-wa. "
12
00:00:59,870 --> 00:01:02,160
Wow! A package for me from Japan!
13
00:01:03,240 --> 00:01:06,090
Wow, what can it be?
My birthday isn't until September 11th.
14
00:01:07,480 --> 00:01:11,440
Oh boy! I've never gotten a package this big!
I've always wanted to have a huge package.
15
00:01:19,670 --> 00:01:22,550
Greetings. I am the AWESOM-O 4000.
16
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Whoa...
17
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I have been sent from Japan to serve
as your personal robot.
18
00:01:31,050 --> 00:01:33,720
You... you're my robot?
19
00:01:33,870 --> 00:01:36,230
Yes. I will be your new best friend.
20
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Oh wow!
21
00:01:39,490 --> 00:01:42,570
Yep. That's right. He's a real live robot.
He can walk and talk and everything.
22
00:01:42,770 --> 00:01:44,240
You're like the fourth kid I told already.
23
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Well I gotta go Dougie.
My robot and I have stuff to do.
24
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Heheh, they're all so jealous!
25
00:01:51,400 --> 00:01:55,190
I'm so glad you came into my life, AWESOM-O.
You're the best friend a guy could have.
26
00:01:55,440 --> 00:02:00,690
Yes. You can trust AWESOM-O. In fact, you should
tell AWESOM-O all your most personal secrets.
27
00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:04,500
AWESOM-O will not make fun of you or tell
your secrets to other people and stuff.
28
00:02:05,040 --> 00:02:07,700
Hey yeah! Well I can tell you anything, huh?
29
00:02:08,140 --> 00:02:12,190
Well lessee... Well, for one, I have
what's called a heziated colon
30
00:02:12,360 --> 00:02:14,410
which means I sometime can't control
my sphincter.
31
00:02:14,750 --> 00:02:15,550
Could be.
32
00:02:16,260 --> 00:02:19,710
Well, nobody knows it, but sometimes I poop
my pants, so I have to wear a diaper to school.
33
00:02:21,700 --> 00:02:22,660
You okay, AWESOM-O?
34
00:02:22,950 --> 00:02:25,420
Yes. AWESOM-O is fine.
Please go on.
35
00:02:25,640 --> 00:02:27,580
Well, I have to take medicine for it every day.
36
00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:30,360
It's a little suppository I have to... put up my rectom.
37
00:02:31,580 --> 00:02:35,130
That, that's very interesting.
Tell AWESOM-O more secrets.
38
00:02:35,390 --> 00:02:36,370
Hm, okay. Let's see
39
00:02:36,810 --> 00:02:40,480
Oh, my parents don't know, but sometimes
I get picked on by this one kid at school.
40
00:02:40,650 --> 00:02:43,600
his name is Eric Cartman, and he always
tries to play jokes on me and stuff.
41
00:02:43,920 --> 00:02:44,900
Oh, really?
42
00:02:45,050 --> 00:02:47,390
Yeah. One time he made me think
a meteor had hit the earth,
43
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and convinced me to stay down
in a bomb shelter for three days.
44
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Heh. Wow, that sucks.
45
00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:56,000
Yeah. And then this other time, he pretended
to be me on the phone to my dad
46
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and called him a pussy,
so my dad came home and beat me.
47
00:02:59,130 --> 00:03:01,890
Wow. Sounds like this Cartman kid is pretty smart.
48
00:03:02,060 --> 00:03:04,310
No, he's not smart! He's just an asshole.
49
00:03:04,570 --> 00:03:07,110
And he's never gonna play on me ever again!
50
00:03:07,370 --> 00:03:08,870
Really? You think so?
51
00:03:09,250 --> 00:03:11,920
Well, guess what, Butters.
I have a surprise for you.
52
00:03:12,020 --> 00:03:13,600
Yeah, and he's never gonna get me again!
53
00:03:13,770 --> 00:03:16,920
Cause what Cartman doesn't know is that I know one of his secrets!
54
00:03:17,910 --> 00:03:18,270
What?
55
00:03:18,760 --> 00:03:20,690
When Cartman is playing all alone in his backyard,
56
00:03:20,890 --> 00:03:23,810
he likes to dress up like Britney Spears
and pretend he's her!
57
00:03:24,040 --> 00:03:26,910
Hi sings and dances around with a
life-sized cutout of Justin Timberlake.
58
00:03:28,730 --> 00:03:29,380
You saw that?
59
00:03:29,900 --> 00:03:31,800
Yeah! And I videotaped him doing it!
60
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- Nuh uh.
I've got the whole thing on tape!
61
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Even him making out with the Justin Timberlake cutout!
62
00:03:38,060 --> 00:03:38,610
No way.
63
00:03:38,830 --> 00:03:42,850
Yeah! And if Cartman ever messes with me again,
I'm gonna show that video to everybody!
64
00:03:43,060 --> 00:03:44,570
Then I'll Ihave my revenge, boy howdy!
65
00:03:45,810 --> 00:03:48,270
...Um, where is this videotape, Butters?
66
00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:50,830
Huh? Oh, I dunno. It's around here somewhere.
67
00:03:51,010 --> 00:03:52,530
Hey! So what do you wanna do now, AWESOM-O?
68
00:03:52,880 --> 00:03:56,110
Uh, Butters, maybe you should give AWESOM-O the videotape?
69
00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:56,820
How come?
70
00:03:57,040 --> 00:04:00,490
Well, because... AWESOM-O can, like,
back it up for you
71
00:04:00,640 --> 00:04:03,130
, and make copies and stuff.
I am AWESOM-O.
72
00:04:03,330 --> 00:04:06,120
Oh, that's all right, AWESOM-O.
Come on! I have a lot of things to teach you.
73
00:04:08,150 --> 00:04:09,420
Oh, son of a bitch!
74
00:04:12,570 --> 00:04:15,370
Hey there have you heard about my robot friend?
75
00:04:15,510 --> 00:04:18,400
He's metal and small and
doesn't judge me at all.
76
00:04:18,480 --> 00:04:23,680
He's a cyberwired bundle of joy.
My robot friend.
77
00:04:25,190 --> 00:04:28,080
I like to dip and daddle
with my robot friend.
78
00:04:28,340 --> 00:04:31,180
He's smart as can be and emotion-free.
79
00:04:31,320 --> 00:04:36,860
And he's computin' his way to my heart.
My robot friend.
80
00:04:37,060 --> 00:04:39,940
My robot friend.
81
00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:43,580
My robot friend.
82
00:04:43,690 --> 00:04:46,490
My robot friend.
83
00:04:47,640 --> 00:04:51,340
Ohhh, that's so cute. Did you see
Butters and his friend Eric playing Robot.
84
00:04:51,530 --> 00:04:53,410
Yes. Those boys are quite imaginative.
85
00:04:53,510 --> 00:04:55,910
Leave it to them to find a fun way
to do the dishes.
86
00:04:56,770 --> 00:04:57,810
That's great AWESOM-O!
87
00:04:57,920 --> 00:04:59,520
You can carry all my laundry in one trip!
88
00:04:59,750 --> 00:05:02,710
Ah, Buttters, it's getting late.
You should be getting ready for bed soon
89
00:05:03,020 --> 00:05:05,060
Okay Mom. Well, come on,
AWESOM-O. Bedtime.
90
00:05:05,230 --> 00:05:07,320
Oh, is your little robot friend staying the night?
91
00:05:07,460 --> 00:05:09,740
Well of course he is.
He's my robot, ain't he?
92
00:05:09,910 --> 00:05:11,990
That's okay with your mom, Mr. Robot?
93
00:05:12,150 --> 00:05:13,700
AWESOM-O does not have a mom.
94
00:05:13,910 --> 00:05:15,440
Yup! Don't you know nothin' about robot?
95
00:05:15,700 --> 00:05:17,460
Come on, AWESOM-O!
You can put my laundry away!
96
00:05:18,670 --> 00:05:20,150
Aww, that's just adorable.
97
00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:22,950
It's good to see Butters finally have
a friend that wants to stay over.
98
00:05:24,430 --> 00:05:26,970
I like to brush my teeth in
the morning and at night.
99
00:05:27,210 --> 00:05:30,030
The teeth won't mind..
Jesus Christ I can't go on like this.
100
00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:34,830
Butters, remember when you said you had a
video of Eric Cartman dressed like Britney Spears?
101
00:05:35,260 --> 00:05:36,340
Oh. Yeah.
102
00:05:36,720 --> 00:05:38,200
I would like to see what he looks like
103
00:05:38,320 --> 00:05:39,870
so I can beat him up for you.
104
00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:41,330
May I see the video?
105
00:05:41,470 --> 00:05:43,020
Awww, you don't need to do
that, AWESOM-O.
106
00:05:43,190 --> 00:05:45,400
Hey, I gotta put in my suppository.
Can you help me?
107
00:05:45,920 --> 00:05:46,440
What?
108
00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:49,920
Remember I said I put that medicinal
suppository in my anus?
109
00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:52,100
It'll be so much easier havin' you
do it from now on.
110
00:05:52,340 --> 00:05:56,110
Um. Actually, AWESOM-O was not
programmed for that function.
111
00:05:56,370 --> 00:05:58,180
Haw, it's real easy.
I'll show you.
112
00:05:58,320 --> 00:06:01,230
You just take this little thingy out of
the plastic... paper, and and I'll,
113
00:06:01,350 --> 00:06:04,320
I'll pull down my pants...
and just slide it up in my anus there.
114
00:06:05,870 --> 00:06:06,510
...No way.
115
00:06:07,050 --> 00:06:09,330
AWESOM-O, I though you were programmed
to do whatever I tell you.
116
00:06:10,580 --> 00:06:11,100
Weak!
117
00:06:12,650 --> 00:06:15,140
Yeyeah, that, that's pretty good.
Get it up there good and deep.
118
00:06:15,560 --> 00:06:16,080
Lame!
119
00:06:16,830 --> 00:06:18,740
All right AWESOM-O, time
for us to get some sleep.
120
00:06:19,280 --> 00:06:21,380
Hey, you want me to teach
you some bedtime songs?
121
00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:25,490
If you leave me now, you'll take
away the biggest part of me.
122
00:06:26,780 --> 00:06:30,400
AWESOM-O must rest!
His CPU system overloading.
123
00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:33,510
Oh, o-o-all right AWESOM-O.
Let's get us some shut-eye,
124
00:06:33,790 --> 00:06:35,290
or what, or whatever robots have.
125
00:06:51,650 --> 00:06:53,370
Where is it? Where is it?
126
00:06:53,860 --> 00:06:57,220
AWESOM-O?
AWESOM-O, what the Sam Heck are you doing?
127
00:06:57,980 --> 00:07:01,260
Um, ah AWESOM-O is reorganizing
your stuff for you.
128
00:07:01,740 --> 00:07:05,330
Aw Jeez Jeez Louise! My mom is gonna be
awful sore when she sees this mess!
129
00:07:05,620 --> 00:07:07,470
Now AWESOM-O, that is a bad robot!
130
00:07:07,830 --> 00:07:10,640
You can't do no chores for me unless
I tell you to do them! You got it?!
131
00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:12,610
AWESOM-O understands.
132
00:07:12,910 --> 00:07:16,030
Now I'm gonna have to give ya a spankin',
AWESOM-O, so that you'll learn better!
133
00:07:18,550 --> 00:07:21,320
Just know, AWESOM-O,
that I did it because I love you.
134
00:07:21,550 --> 00:07:23,150
Okay, come on, let's go
make some breakfast.
135
00:07:24,620 --> 00:07:26,480
Goddamnit, I have to find that videotape!
136
00:07:29,920 --> 00:07:33,810
Look at that, AWESOM-O!
I drew a picture of us playing in a field together.
137
00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:37,340
Ah I'll be right back.
I'm gonna get some Sunny Delight.
138
00:07:37,710 --> 00:07:39,480
I would like some Sunny Delight too.
139
00:07:39,850 --> 00:07:44,180
Don't be silly, AWESOM-O.
Robots don't need to drink nothin'.
140
00:07:44,580 --> 00:07:47,480
Whoa. Uh go answer the door, AWESOM-O.
141
00:07:47,820 --> 00:07:49,370
AWESOM-O will answers the door.
142
00:07:52,830 --> 00:07:54,030
What the hell are you doing, fatass?
143
00:07:54,190 --> 00:07:55,560
Dude, are you still pretending to be a robot?
144
00:07:56,600 --> 00:07:59,550
I just need to uh make Butters think
I'm a robot for a little while longer.
145
00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:00,790
Why?
146
00:08:01,620 --> 00:08:05,660
Because I need to, all right?! I've got something
planned that's uh gonna be really sweet.
147
00:08:05,850 --> 00:08:06,750
Just play along, okay?
148
00:08:07,680 --> 00:08:08,010
Why?
149
00:08:08,580 --> 00:08:11,230
Kyle, Goddamnit, will you just do-?
Who's at the door, AWESOM-O?
150
00:08:14,280 --> 00:08:16,320
Three boys named Stan, Kyle, and Kenny.
151
00:08:16,940 --> 00:08:19,240
Ah, hey fellas! Ah I see you met my robot.
152
00:08:19,510 --> 00:08:22,050
Uh yeah, Butters, he's real cool.
Hey he sure is!
153
00:08:22,210 --> 00:08:25,480
Hey he sure is! We do everything together.
Why last night we even had a slumber party.
154
00:08:27,010 --> 00:08:27,390
Weak.
155
00:08:28,010 --> 00:08:30,530
He can do anything I command him to.
He's real smart.
156
00:08:30,620 --> 00:08:33,890
Watch this: hey AWESOM-O, will
you go get my friends some Sunny Delight?
157
00:08:34,290 --> 00:08:35,160
Yes, of course.
158
00:08:38,180 --> 00:08:39,600
Oh wait. Hey AWESOM-O,
159
00:08:39,830 --> 00:08:42,020
I'd also like some celery sticks
chopped up two inches long,
160
00:08:42,120 --> 00:08:43,470
with peanut butter and raisins on top.
161
00:08:44,980 --> 00:08:46,770
Suck mah balls, Kyle.
162
00:08:48,150 --> 00:08:49,550
He's made in Japan!
163
00:08:51,120 --> 00:08:54,250
Yes, it has just been a delight having
your son over, Mrs. Cartman.
164
00:08:54,380 --> 00:08:56,300
He and Butters are really getting along great.
165
00:08:56,620 --> 00:08:58,810
Oh, I'm so glad to hear it, Mrs. Stotch.
166
00:08:58,860 --> 00:09:00,830
Eric has been having some
emotional problems lately.
167
00:09:00,950 --> 00:09:03,170
Well, the reason I'm calling is
that Butters is supposed
168
00:09:03,230 --> 00:09:05,920
to go see his Aunt Nellie in Los Angeles
this weekend.
169
00:09:06,020 --> 00:09:10,130
The boys are getting along so well that
we were thinking of inviting Eric to go along.
170
00:09:10,460 --> 00:09:12,350
Oh, well, I'm not sure.
171
00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:14,620
Actually, Eric is still supposed to be grounded
172
00:09:14,700 --> 00:09:17,190
for trying to exterminate the Jews two weeks ago.
173
00:09:18,040 --> 00:09:19,540
Excuse me, I didn't catch that.
174
00:09:19,740 --> 00:09:21,550
Oh, but I suppose it would be good for him.
175
00:09:21,630 --> 00:09:26,340
Yes, of course he can go.
I'll bring some of clothes over.
176
00:09:26,620 --> 00:09:29,090
Maybe he put that videotape in here somewhere.
177
00:09:29,260 --> 00:09:31,840
AWESOM-O, what are you doing?
My friends are waiting for their beverages.
178
00:09:32,040 --> 00:09:32,580
Chop chop!
179
00:09:33,710 --> 00:09:35,130
Hey guys, great news!
180
00:09:35,270 --> 00:09:39,290
It's been arranged: you two are both going
to Los Angeles to visit Butters' Aunt Nellie!
181
00:09:39,550 --> 00:09:42,600
Oh boy! My robot gets to come
with me to see Aunt Nellie?!
182
00:09:42,670 --> 00:09:43,200
What?
183
00:09:43,270 --> 00:09:46,330
Oh boy, AWESOM-O!
We're gonna have the best time ever!
184
00:09:46,410 --> 00:09:48,390
Lame.
185
00:09:53,050 --> 00:09:55,860
Hey Nellie, guess what I found
scrampin' around the airport.
186
00:09:55,990 --> 00:09:57,060
Howdy Aunt Nellie!
187
00:09:57,230 --> 00:09:58,980
There's my little nephew!
188
00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:00,150
How was your flight?
189
00:10:00,390 --> 00:10:03,030
It was long. We had a three-hour delay
... departin' Denver,
190
00:10:03,170 --> 00:10:03,820
but we're here!
191
00:10:03,950 --> 00:10:05,020
Didn't ya bring any bags?
192
00:10:05,140 --> 00:10:07,110
Well, sure, but my robot is
bringin' them in.
193
00:10:07,320 --> 00:10:08,110
Your robot?
194
00:10:08,520 --> 00:10:10,850
Butters' new friend is a little strange.
195
00:10:11,270 --> 00:10:13,560
He, he really takes playing Robot seriously.
196
00:10:16,580 --> 00:10:17,380
There he is!
197
00:10:17,700 --> 00:10:19,320
AWESOM-O, this is my Aunt Nellie.
198
00:10:19,500 --> 00:10:21,340
Hello! It's nice to have you here.
199
00:10:21,590 --> 00:10:23,590
AWESOM-O must dispense oil waste.
200
00:10:23,960 --> 00:10:25,530
Where is the nearest toilet, please?
201
00:10:25,850 --> 00:10:27,690
Oh oh, right through there, Mr. Robot.
202
00:10:27,950 --> 00:10:28,590
Thank you.
203
00:10:30,120 --> 00:10:32,360
I don't think he took the costume off the entire trip.
204
00:10:32,810 --> 00:10:34,130
Well, did you wanna get right to sight-seeing,
205
00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:36,120
or are you guys hungry after such a long flight.
206
00:10:36,370 --> 00:10:37,790
Nah, I ate on the plane.
207
00:10:37,920 --> 00:10:39,760
And AWESOM-O is a robot,
so he don't need to eat.
208
00:10:40,490 --> 00:10:41,210
Right...
209
00:10:54,820 --> 00:10:55,620
AWESOM-O?
210
00:10:56,820 --> 00:10:57,790
Aw-Aw-AWESOM-O is coming.
211
00:10:57,920 --> 00:11:00,180
Come on, AWESOM-O!
We're gonna go a-sightseein'!
212
00:11:04,780 --> 00:11:07,430
I'm hangin' out in LA with my robot friend
213
00:11:07,530 --> 00:11:10,550
We're havin' such fun in the hot hot sun
214
00:11:10,640 --> 00:11:12,980
We're two of a kind- That's me!
215
00:11:13,120 --> 00:11:19,800
And my robot friend.
My robot friend.
216
00:11:19,850 --> 00:11:21,890
My robot... friend.
217
00:11:21,960 --> 00:11:24,380
Can you believe we're at a real live
movie studio, AWESOM-O?
218
00:11:24,450 --> 00:11:25,760
Aren't we havin' the best time?
219
00:11:26,020 --> 00:11:28,910
Butters, wouldn't you like to have
some time away from AWESOM-O?
220
00:11:29,100 --> 00:11:30,540
We could meet up later, perhaps?
221
00:11:30,720 --> 00:11:31,750
Hey, look over there, AWESOM-O.
222
00:11:31,930 --> 00:11:33,080
The film studio commissary.
223
00:11:33,170 --> 00:11:35,150
That's where all them rich movie producers
who come up with uh,
224
00:11:35,240 --> 00:11:37,320
Hollywood blockbusters have their lunch.
Neato, huh?
225
00:11:38,820 --> 00:11:42,050
Damnit, Mitch. How come our movie
studio can't come up with any winners?
226
00:11:42,170 --> 00:11:44,490
I mean, we're smart, right?
We're really smart.
227
00:11:44,810 --> 00:11:47,130
We need an idea for a movie that's a home run.
228
00:11:47,300 --> 00:11:49,190
A feel-good romp for the whole family.
229
00:11:50,350 --> 00:11:51,720
Hey, what's that over there?
230
00:11:52,170 --> 00:11:54,840
Wow, that's a really neat little robot
you have there, little boy.
231
00:11:54,920 --> 00:11:55,740
What's he do?
232
00:11:55,870 --> 00:11:57,860
Well, he can do anything.
Watch this
233
00:11:58,200 --> 00:12:00,560
Hey, AWESOM-O, who's gonna win
the Superbowl next year?
234
00:12:00,810 --> 00:12:02,040
The New Orleans Saints.
235
00:12:04,510 --> 00:12:05,350
Hey, Mr. Robot,
236
00:12:05,530 --> 00:12:08,550
how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
237
00:12:08,950 --> 00:12:09,770
Seventeen.
238
00:12:13,160 --> 00:12:15,750
Mitch, are you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?
239
00:12:15,950 --> 00:12:19,890
Yeah. Maybe that robot can be
programmed to come up with movie ideas!
240
00:12:21,410 --> 00:12:22,280
Exactly!
241
00:12:22,930 --> 00:12:25,970
Gentlemen, this little boy was kind
enough to let us show you his robot.
242
00:12:26,070 --> 00:12:27,510
The AWESOM-O 4000.
243
00:12:27,730 --> 00:12:29,200
I've already seen what he can do.
244
00:12:29,430 --> 00:12:32,410
Uh, excuse me sir, but uh, that's not a robot.
245
00:12:33,300 --> 00:12:33,870
It's not?
246
00:12:34,140 --> 00:12:35,930
No, it clearly had bipedal movement,
247
00:12:36,040 --> 00:12:38,410
so the correct term is "computerized automatron. "
248
00:12:38,700 --> 00:12:40,650
Oh, very nice, Mitch.
You are the smart one.
249
00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:42,950
Well, regardless, I believe maybe this automatron
250
00:12:43,010 --> 00:12:45,520
can help us come up with new movie ideas.
251
00:12:45,790 --> 00:12:49,010
How can a robot come up with
better ideas for movies than us?
252
00:12:49,160 --> 00:12:53,440
Watch this: AWESOM-O, given the
current trends of the movie-going public
253
00:12:53,530 --> 00:12:57,390
can you come up with an idea for a movie
that will break a hundred million box office?
254
00:12:58,460 --> 00:13:00,750
Um... okay. How about this:
255
00:13:02,320 --> 00:13:05,100
Adam Sandler is like, in love with some girl,
256
00:13:05,450 --> 00:13:08,040
but then it turns out that
the girl is actually a...
257
00:13:08,420 --> 00:13:09,940
...golden retriever, or something.
258
00:13:12,100 --> 00:13:14,920
Oh, perfect!
We'll call it "Puppy Love"!
259
00:13:15,050 --> 00:13:16,910
Give us another movie idea, AWESOM-O!
260
00:13:17,020 --> 00:13:19,040
Yeah yeah! Let's hear it! Yeah,
we wanna hear it! Come on, come on!
261
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:24,190
Okay, how about this: Adam Sandler...
inherits like, a billion dollars,
262
00:13:24,480 --> 00:13:28,500
but first, he has to, like,
become a... boxer, or something.
263
00:13:29,250 --> 00:13:32,720
...Yes, it's flawless!
Punch-Drunk Billionaire!
264
00:13:33,320 --> 00:13:36,190
Boy, Los Angeles is great, huh AWESOM-O?
265
00:13:36,240 --> 00:13:39,650
Can you believe those guys paid us
a hundred dollars apiece for those movie ideas?
266
00:13:40,410 --> 00:13:42,500
You should split that money with AWESOM-O.
267
00:13:42,630 --> 00:13:44,470
After all, they were AWESOM-O's ideas.
268
00:13:44,660 --> 00:13:47,070
Hahaa, right! What are you gonna
do with money, AWESOM-O?
269
00:13:47,170 --> 00:13:49,720
Buy some robot pants? Haha, no!
270
00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:51,540
We got each other and that's all we need, AWESOM-O.
271
00:13:51,680 --> 00:13:54,340
I'm gonna send this money to needy kids in third-world countries.
272
00:13:56,980 --> 00:13:57,950
Ye, you okay AWESOM-O?
273
00:13:58,050 --> 00:14:00,350
AWESOM-O needs to rest!
Feeling faint.
274
00:14:00,430 --> 00:14:01,670
Well you go ahead and relax, AWESOM-O.
275
00:14:01,790 --> 00:14:03,900
We've got another full day of pitching movies tomorrow.
276
00:14:08,190 --> 00:14:12,260
Gentlemen, Ladies, we all know that
we live in a time of uncertainty.
277
00:14:12,810 --> 00:14:15,500
The risk of an attack on American soil is higher than ever.
278
00:14:15,920 --> 00:14:18,870
Now, I believe we may be able to curb that risk.
279
00:14:19,550 --> 00:14:22,410
Two days ago our intelligence department
came across this:
280
00:14:25,120 --> 00:14:26,710
The AWESOM-O 4000.
281
00:14:26,790 --> 00:14:30,620
It is currently being used by Catamount Pictures to develop ideas for movies.
282
00:14:30,860 --> 00:14:35,770
Our sources say that in just one week it has
come up with over one thousand movie ideas,
283
00:14:36,070 --> 00:14:37,990
eight hundred of which feature Adam Sandler.
284
00:14:40,450 --> 00:14:41,060
That's incredible!
285
00:14:41,120 --> 00:14:45,450
You're thinking the robot could be
used to come up with anti-Islamic movies?
286
00:14:45,580 --> 00:14:47,830
No. If we got our hands on that robot,
287
00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:51,110
we could reprogram it and turn it into a weapon!.
288
00:14:52,900 --> 00:14:56,120
Uh huh. I don't see how we have a choice.
289
00:14:56,170 --> 00:14:59,490
Hold on a second: If that robot is
designed for entertainment,
290
00:14:59,550 --> 00:15:01,170
turning it into a weapon is unethical.
291
00:15:01,390 --> 00:15:04,940
Unethical? Let me explain something to you, Mr. Scientist!
292
00:15:05,020 --> 00:15:07,180
We understand that the robot is from Japan!
293
00:15:07,320 --> 00:15:09,490
That means that the Japanese have more of them!
294
00:15:09,660 --> 00:15:13,630
And if the Japanese fabricates one
of them into a weapon before we do...
295
00:15:13,750 --> 00:15:16,210
Jesus. It would be Pearl Harbor all over again.
296
00:15:16,350 --> 00:15:18,470
But worse. With robots.
297
00:15:18,700 --> 00:15:20,390
I I'm sorry, I must protest.
298
00:15:20,610 --> 00:15:24,540
We, we have no data suggesting the Japanese
have developed a robot with offensive capability.
299
00:15:24,660 --> 00:15:29,480
You're paid to think, Mr. Scientist!
National security is our jub.
300
00:15:32,970 --> 00:15:35,810
Gentlemen, we're going to Los Angeles!
301
00:15:35,980 --> 00:15:38,130
I want that robot!
302
00:15:40,310 --> 00:15:43,000
Yeah, me and my robot are still
over at the movie studio, Aunt Nellie.
303
00:15:43,250 --> 00:15:44,910
We're makin' all sorts of money for the poor.
304
00:15:45,620 --> 00:15:49,100
Movie idea number two thousand
three hundred and five:
305
00:15:49,840 --> 00:15:55,150
Adam Sandler is trapped on an island
and falls in love with a coconut.
306
00:15:55,570 --> 00:15:59,310
Great, AWESOM-O, great. Uh guys, take a break.
I need a minute alone with AWESOM-O.
307
00:16:02,910 --> 00:16:04,980
You are an incredible robot, AWESOM-O.
308
00:16:05,420 --> 00:16:10,360
I was just wondering... are you by chance a... pleasure model?
309
00:16:11,850 --> 00:16:12,200
...What?
310
00:16:12,840 --> 00:16:17,890
Well, have you been programmed
to... satisfy... urges of humans?
311
00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:20,490
AWESOM-O does not understand.
312
00:16:21,100 --> 00:16:22,550
Let me show you what I mean.
313
00:16:23,790 --> 00:16:25,370
Well yeah, we're havin' a great time, Aunt Nellie.
314
00:16:25,450 --> 00:16:27,270
These movie studio guys are real nice.
315
00:16:27,450 --> 00:16:28,190
LAME!
316
00:16:28,460 --> 00:16:31,050
Yeah, we're makin' a bunch more money.
I can't believe it either.
317
00:16:31,670 --> 00:16:33,700
NOT COOL! TOTALLY LAME!
318
00:16:34,780 --> 00:16:35,350
AWESOM-O?
319
00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:38,610
Well, I gotta go, Aunt Nellie. Ah,
AWESOM-O is havin' some kind of malfunction.
320
00:16:39,750 --> 00:16:41,140
AWESOM-O? Hey, where'd ya go?
321
00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:52,030
Let's go! Move, move!
322
00:16:52,120 --> 00:16:53,120
AWESOM-O?
323
00:16:53,190 --> 00:16:54,380
Hey, what are you doin' with him?!
324
00:16:58,660 --> 00:17:00,120
That's my robot!
325
00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:06,380
AWESOM-OOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
326
00:17:14,820 --> 00:17:16,670
Are those arm and leg locks secure?
327
00:17:16,880 --> 00:17:17,690
Secure, sir!
328
00:17:17,970 --> 00:17:21,450
Good. I don't want that robot mobile
until I know what it's capable of.
329
00:17:21,480 --> 00:17:22,460
All right, power it on.
330
00:17:28,540 --> 00:17:29,320
What the hell?
331
00:17:29,420 --> 00:17:30,280
What's going on?
332
00:17:30,510 --> 00:17:33,310
It... powered itself back on.
333
00:17:34,980 --> 00:17:37,600
Stand by. Be ready to destroy it.
334
00:17:38,380 --> 00:17:41,240
Where the hell am I?!
Hey, why can't I move?!
335
00:17:41,340 --> 00:17:44,600
Are your systems stable?
Run a systems check on your CPU.
336
00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:46,100
The fuck are you talkin' about, dude?!
337
00:17:46,210 --> 00:17:49,660
Ah, I'm sorry, robot, they want me to reprogram you.
338
00:17:49,710 --> 00:17:51,600
I'm not a robot, dumbass! I'm alive.
339
00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:54,840
What did you say?
I said I'm a real person, asswipe!
340
00:17:56,480 --> 00:17:57,650
...Oh my God.
341
00:17:58,600 --> 00:17:59,300
What's happening?
342
00:17:59,850 --> 00:18:02,130
The robot... It thinks it's alive.
343
00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:05,110
It's developed consciousness.
344
00:18:05,620 --> 00:18:06,920
What? How can that be?
345
00:18:07,230 --> 00:18:09,550
Must be a malfunction of its exographical IMS or the...
346
00:18:09,670 --> 00:18:10,690
interlaced BV system.
347
00:18:10,860 --> 00:18:14,000
Speak in a language we can understand,
Mr. Scientist!
348
00:18:14,230 --> 00:18:16,640
Your robot doesn't know it's a robot!
349
00:18:17,290 --> 00:18:18,490
Goddamnit, get me down from here!
350
00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:22,850
Who made you, robot?!
351
00:18:23,180 --> 00:18:24,800
I'm not a robot, I'm a human!
352
00:18:25,070 --> 00:18:26,480
Jesus, the scientist was right.
353
00:18:27,330 --> 00:18:29,200
But, who would have programmed it to think it was human?
354
00:18:29,470 --> 00:18:30,270
The movie studio?
355
00:18:30,580 --> 00:18:32,790
Look, retards! My name is Eric Cartman!
356
00:18:32,850 --> 00:18:34,720
I live with my mom in South Park, Colorado!
357
00:18:34,990 --> 00:18:37,010
Dear Christ, they gave it memories, too.
358
00:18:37,160 --> 00:18:38,160
Sure, why not?
359
00:18:38,410 --> 00:18:41,110
Program the memories of some
eight-year-old boy who doesn't exist,
360
00:18:41,230 --> 00:18:42,820
and make the robot think he's real!
361
00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:44,590
Makes for a lot better movies!
362
00:18:44,660 --> 00:18:48,160
I'm not reprogramming a robot
that's developed consciousness!
363
00:18:48,390 --> 00:18:50,570
Do I have to remind you of your position?!
364
00:18:50,670 --> 00:18:52,650
Don't forget you have a duty to your country,
365
00:18:52,780 --> 00:18:55,000
Mr. Scientist!
366
00:18:55,080 --> 00:18:58,330
Scientist! I want that robot's memories
and consciousness E-RASED,
367
00:18:58,430 --> 00:19:00,890
so we can take it back to Washington!
GOT IT?!
368
00:19:02,790 --> 00:19:03,810
Damn you all to hell!..
369
00:19:08,380 --> 00:19:13,190
Hey there, did you know I had a robot friend?
370
00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:18,640
We used to laugh and play,
but someone took him away.
371
00:19:18,860 --> 00:19:23,970
He was my ten gigahertz old pal.
372
00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:27,610
My robot friend.
373
00:19:29,460 --> 00:19:30,100
Hey, wait a minute.
374
00:19:32,540 --> 00:19:34,470
Why, that's the van that- Oh my God!
375
00:19:36,290 --> 00:19:39,530
Goddamnit, stop! I'm real! I'm real!
376
00:19:39,600 --> 00:19:41,820
It'll all be over soon, robot!
377
00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:48,030
Hang on! I'm getting you out of here, robot!
378
00:19:48,190 --> 00:19:50,130
Aw, it's about freaking time, jackass!
379
00:19:50,230 --> 00:19:52,180
What the hell are you doing?!
380
00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:55,360
Well I, I'm saving a conscious being!
381
00:19:55,670 --> 00:19:57,690
If you wanna kill it, you'll have to go through me!
382
00:19:58,250 --> 00:20:00,750
Fine. Kill that son of a bitch!
383
00:20:01,070 --> 00:20:04,750
No! Look, Goddamnit! Now I can
show you stupid assholes who I really am!
384
00:20:05,510 --> 00:20:06,490
AWESOM-O!
385
00:20:07,650 --> 00:20:09,470
I am the AWESOM-O 4000.
386
00:20:12,430 --> 00:20:16,190
No! No, please!
Don't kill him! He's my best friend!
387
00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:18,350
He's my best friend in the whole world!
388
00:20:23,930 --> 00:20:28,210
There. You see? You want
to tell me this isn't humanity?
389
00:20:29,550 --> 00:20:31,640
Who's to judge what makes
somethng human anyway?!
390
00:20:31,730 --> 00:20:36,790
Does this make me human?!
Or this?! Or these?!
391
00:20:40,020 --> 00:20:43,290
Perhaps... there is consciousness in this robot.
392
00:20:44,010 --> 00:20:47,370
Maybe we as a society need to
realize that artificial intelligence
393
00:20:47,500 --> 00:20:51,700
...is intelligence all the same, and
we can learn from the robots.
394
00:20:52,520 --> 00:20:54,610
I think maybe one day we can all-
395
00:20:56,550 --> 00:20:58,610
Heh- wait a minute, did, did that robot just fart?
396
00:20:59,490 --> 00:21:00,870
Hey, robots don't fart!
397
00:21:01,520 --> 00:21:03,260
Uh... now ending fart sequence.
398
00:21:03,530 --> 00:21:05,040
Oh, and it, it smells, too!
399
00:21:05,240 --> 00:21:06,490
Smell sequence initiated.
400
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:08,500
A robot with smelly farts?
401
00:21:08,540 --> 00:21:09,980
That doesn't make any sense.
402
00:21:10,290 --> 00:21:11,540
Hang on a second here!
403
00:21:16,350 --> 00:21:18,340
Would you like to touch my body?
404
00:21:18,420 --> 00:21:20,090
Come on and touch my body!
405
00:21:21,010 --> 00:21:21,790
Oooo, my hot body!
406
00:21:22,050 --> 00:21:23,890
Don't you like my hot body?
407
00:21:23,970 --> 00:21:25,390
Come on and touch my titties!
408
00:21:25,930 --> 00:21:27,390
I felt them just like?
409
00:21:27,600 --> 00:21:29,530
Come on Justin, touch my body!
410
00:21:29,630 --> 00:21:30,600
Mmm, Justin, yeah!
411
00:21:30,700 --> 00:21:32,980
Touch my body! You and me!
412
00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:34,960
Check it out, my not-hot body!
413
00:21:35,590 --> 00:21:37,320
Come on, my body!
414
00:21:37,910 --> 00:21:40,030
Wow, kid, you're a little faggot!
415
00:21:40,430 --> 00:21:41,550
Lame...
32315
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