All language subtitles for South Park - 804 - The Passin of Jew

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified) Download
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,041 --> 00:00:00,041 25.000 2 00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:36,703 subtitles made by senor_datel@post.sk 3 00:00:37,954 --> 00:00:40,206 Captain Cartman reporting from Shuttlecraft Spontaneity. 4 00:00:40,373 --> 00:00:41,458 Approaching planet Omega Nine. 5 00:00:41,666 --> 00:00:43,126 Warp drive disengaged. 6 00:00:43,376 --> 00:00:44,252 Landing sequence initiated. 7 00:00:44,419 --> 00:00:45,295 What kind of atmosphere are you 8 00:00:45,420 --> 00:00:46,880 reading on the planet surface, Jew? 9 00:00:47,130 --> 00:00:48,381 I'm a Vulcan! 10 00:00:48,590 --> 00:00:49,674 All right, what kind of atmosphere 11 00:00:50,258 --> 00:00:51,634 are you reading, Vulcan Jew? 12 00:00:51,843 --> 00:00:53,261 The atmosphere is oxygen-based, 13 00:00:53,386 --> 00:00:54,721 should support our breathing. 14 00:00:54,971 --> 00:00:56,765 All right, hang on. We're about to land. 15 00:00:59,100 --> 00:01:00,727 Okay, First Officer Stan and Engineer Kenny, 16 00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:02,187 you come with me on the away team. 17 00:01:02,312 --> 00:01:03,730 Vulcan Jew Kyle will wait here. 18 00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:04,939 No! I'm on the away team too! 19 00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:07,233 It's my Mom's new minivan, so I'm the captain, Kyle! 20 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:08,068 I don't care! 21 00:01:08,193 --> 00:01:09,527 You're not making me wait in the van again! 22 00:01:09,652 --> 00:01:10,445 Fine, Kyle! 23 00:01:10,570 --> 00:01:12,197 But if something goes wrong out there on the planet surface, 24 00:01:12,322 --> 00:01:14,824 don't hold me responsible. 25 00:01:18,370 --> 00:01:19,579 Set phasers on stun. 26 00:01:20,288 --> 00:01:21,289 Things seem pretty quiet. 27 00:01:21,831 --> 00:01:23,458 Yes. A little too quiet. 28 00:01:24,125 --> 00:01:26,461 I am picking up carbon-based life forms in Sector C. 29 00:01:26,628 --> 00:01:27,671 I believe we will find a village 30 00:01:27,796 --> 00:01:29,964 of peaceful aliens over that ridge. 31 00:01:30,173 --> 00:01:31,049 Okay, fine, 32 00:01:31,132 --> 00:01:32,550 I guess we'll look for- Oh no!! 33 00:01:32,676 --> 00:01:33,134 Look out!! 34 00:01:33,259 --> 00:01:34,761 It's a giant four-headed lava frog!! 35 00:01:34,844 --> 00:01:36,805 Shoot it!! 36 00:01:37,180 --> 00:01:38,807 Oh no, it got Kyle!! 37 00:01:39,015 --> 00:01:40,308 No it doesn't. 38 00:01:40,392 --> 00:01:42,310 Aw, it got Kyle and it's tearing his head off!! 39 00:01:42,394 --> 00:01:43,770 Aw you guys, it looks like Kyle is done for. 40 00:01:43,895 --> 00:01:44,688 No I'm not! 41 00:01:44,813 --> 00:01:46,648 Goddamnit Cartman, you're not gonna kill me off again! 42 00:01:46,856 --> 00:01:48,858 Agh! You see guys, this is why you don't bring 43 00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:50,235 Jews along on the away team: 44 00:01:50,402 --> 00:01:51,403 they don't play along! 45 00:01:51,528 --> 00:01:52,570 Shut up about Jews, fatass! 46 00:01:52,737 --> 00:01:53,905 You don't know anything! 47 00:01:54,030 --> 00:01:54,948 Oh God, here we go again. 48 00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:55,699 Oh yeah?! 49 00:01:55,824 --> 00:01:56,908 I saw Mel Gibson's movie, The Passion, 50 00:01:57,075 --> 00:01:58,159 and Mel Gibson says, in the movie, 51 00:01:58,284 --> 00:01:59,327 Jews are the Devil! 52 00:01:59,452 --> 00:02:00,370 He does not! 53 00:02:00,453 --> 00:02:00,995 How do you know?! 54 00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:03,039 I've seen The Passion thirty-four times now, Kyle! 55 00:02:03,164 --> 00:02:04,457 You haven't seen it once! 56 00:02:04,541 --> 00:02:05,792 There's even one part where the Jews 57 00:02:05,917 --> 00:02:07,002 have a chance to save Jesus, 58 00:02:07,085 --> 00:02:08,044 and you know what they do? T 59 00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:09,796 hey let Barabbas, a serial killer, 60 00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:11,589 go free instead and laugh about it. 61 00:02:11,631 --> 00:02:12,090 Naw uh! 62 00:02:12,215 --> 00:02:13,591 Go see the movie, Kyle!! 63 00:02:13,675 --> 00:02:14,217 That does it! 64 00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:15,552 I'm sick of you guys arguing about The Passion! 65 00:02:15,677 --> 00:02:16,261 I'm out of here. 66 00:02:16,344 --> 00:02:16,720 (Me too!) 67 00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:17,929 I'm not arguing about The Passion! 68 00:02:18,013 --> 00:02:19,931 He's being an asshole! 69 00:02:20,015 --> 00:02:20,807 You know what it is? 70 00:02:20,890 --> 00:02:21,516 You're scared. 71 00:02:21,599 --> 00:02:22,767 You're scared of the truth. 72 00:02:22,892 --> 00:02:24,060 You don't want that movie to show you 73 00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:25,270 just how bad the Jews are, 74 00:02:25,395 --> 00:02:26,604 and why everyone hates you. 75 00:02:26,688 --> 00:02:27,313 People don't hate the Jews! 76 00:02:27,522 --> 00:02:28,106 Really? 77 00:02:28,189 --> 00:02:30,358 Three hundred million domestic box-office, Kyle. 78 00:02:30,442 --> 00:02:32,861 The top-grossing film of all time, Kyle. 79 00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:35,363 Those numbers don't lie. 80 00:02:35,447 --> 00:02:37,198 If you're not scared of The Passion then go see it. 81 00:02:37,323 --> 00:02:39,117 Go see it and tell me I'm wrong. 82 00:02:39,242 --> 00:02:40,785 Mel Gibson, Kyle. 83 00:02:40,910 --> 00:02:44,330 Mel Gibson. 84 00:02:44,539 --> 00:02:46,332 ...You're a stupid asshole! 85 00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:52,714 Sweeet, now I can just play with myself. 86 00:02:52,756 --> 00:02:53,757 Pewpeww-pewww! 87 00:02:53,882 --> 00:02:55,008 Get back in the shuttlecraft! 88 00:03:05,727 --> 00:03:06,978 One please. 89 00:03:07,896 --> 00:03:09,814 This is an R-rated movie. 90 00:03:10,106 --> 00:03:11,316 Yeah, I know, but I have to- 91 00:03:11,483 --> 00:03:13,485 But, because this is such an important film 92 00:03:13,651 --> 00:03:16,071 that actually depicts the selfless act of Jesus Christ, 93 00:03:16,237 --> 00:03:18,281 I'll let you in to see it. 94 00:03:18,448 --> 00:03:20,200 ...Thanks. 95 00:03:30,418 --> 00:03:32,337 Hac bashtud Christo. 96 00:03:32,962 --> 00:03:35,715 Et lac Hesus. Belaca veshtad. 97 00:03:36,383 --> 00:03:37,926 Wa! 98 00:03:38,426 --> 00:03:41,221 Haaaah! 99 00:03:43,181 --> 00:04:02,617 Non. Non. Nono, non, non, WAAAAHH!! 100 00:04:13,044 --> 00:04:14,212 How? 101 00:04:14,295 --> 00:04:16,339 How could the Jews do that to Jesus? 102 00:04:16,673 --> 00:04:18,842 Pretty brutal, isn't it? 103 00:04:18,967 --> 00:04:21,886 Kinda wanna make you change your life, huh? 104 00:04:22,637 --> 00:04:24,347 And now, back to Terrance and Phillip. 105 00:04:24,764 --> 00:04:26,307 Hey Terrance, I think I have a- 106 00:04:26,391 --> 00:04:27,976 Mom! Doorbell! 107 00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:30,145 Wait, before you do, pull my thumb. 108 00:04:30,437 --> 00:04:33,189 Mom! Answer the door! 109 00:04:33,523 --> 00:04:34,774 Hey Phillip, guess what? 110 00:04:34,941 --> 00:04:36,818 Goddamnit, lazy-ass whore. 111 00:04:36,943 --> 00:04:37,277 What? 112 00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:42,323 You were right. 113 00:04:42,449 --> 00:04:44,159 You were right all along. 114 00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:45,869 I thought you were just an asshole when you ripped on Jews, 115 00:04:45,994 --> 00:04:47,620 but... I didn't know, 116 00:04:47,829 --> 00:04:50,123 I... I didn't know. 117 00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:52,876 It's okay, Kyle. 118 00:04:53,001 --> 00:04:53,543 It's okay. 119 00:04:53,668 --> 00:04:55,920 Just... say that first part again? 120 00:04:56,254 --> 00:04:58,715 You were, you were right? 121 00:04:59,758 --> 00:05:01,384 Mmm, one more time, Kyle. 122 00:05:01,843 --> 00:05:03,803 You were right. 123 00:05:07,057 --> 00:05:08,683 I want to thank you for all the blessings 124 00:05:08,850 --> 00:05:09,559 you have brought me. 125 00:05:09,768 --> 00:05:11,811 You have shown me the way so many times in the past and... 126 00:05:11,895 --> 00:05:13,772 now you are making all my dreams come true. 127 00:05:13,897 --> 00:05:15,440 You give me strength when there is doubt, 128 00:05:15,607 --> 00:05:17,692 and I praise you for all you have done. 129 00:05:17,942 --> 00:05:20,320 Only you, Mel Gibson, have had the wisdom and the courage 130 00:05:20,445 --> 00:05:22,030 to show the world the truth. 131 00:05:22,155 --> 00:05:23,573 From this day forward I will dedicate my life 132 00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:26,034 to making sure your film is seen by everyone. 133 00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:28,536 I will organize the masses so that we may do thy bidding. 134 00:05:28,787 --> 00:05:30,538 Hail Mel Gibson. 135 00:05:30,705 --> 00:05:31,706 Amen. 136 00:05:33,917 --> 00:05:35,335 Look at that, dude. 137 00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:38,213 The Passion has made almost 400 milliion dollars at the box office now. 138 00:05:38,296 --> 00:05:39,089 (Goddamn.) 139 00:05:39,255 --> 00:05:41,216 Everyone in the country's gonna see that movie. 140 00:05:41,383 --> 00:05:43,635 I guess... we have to ge see it too. 141 00:06:07,283 --> 00:06:10,453 Dude. That movie sucked. 142 00:06:10,578 --> 00:06:12,288 (Yeah, it totally sucked!) 143 00:06:12,414 --> 00:06:13,790 How can they even call that a movie? 144 00:06:13,873 --> 00:06:14,916 (I dunno) 145 00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:15,959 That's bullcrap dude, 146 00:06:16,042 --> 00:06:16,835 let's go get our money back. 147 00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:17,419 (Yeah!) 148 00:06:18,795 --> 00:06:22,132 Wow, I didn't realize how horrible Christ's death was. 149 00:06:22,257 --> 00:06:23,425 Me neither. 150 00:06:23,550 --> 00:06:26,386 Oh honey, let's be good Christians from now on! [ 151 00:06:27,512 --> 00:06:29,514 I think if more people saw The Passion 152 00:06:29,639 --> 00:06:31,224 they'd have faith in Jesus. 153 00:06:31,349 --> 00:06:33,977 Yeah, it really guilt-trips you into believing. 154 00:06:37,355 --> 00:06:38,606 Hey, we want our money back. 155 00:06:38,732 --> 00:06:39,190 Huh? 156 00:06:39,315 --> 00:06:40,442 That movie sucked ass. 157 00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:41,276 Give us back our eighteen dollars. 158 00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:42,485 I can't refund your money. 159 00:06:42,652 --> 00:06:44,070 You sat through the whole movie. 160 00:06:44,195 --> 00:06:45,739 That wasn't a movie, that was a snuff film! 161 00:06:45,947 --> 00:06:46,489 (Yeah!) 162 00:06:46,698 --> 00:06:48,658 You can't charge people to watch a guy get tortured for two hours! 163 00:06:48,867 --> 00:06:50,785 That guy happened to be Jesus, 164 00:06:50,994 --> 00:06:53,455 and he went through all that to pay for YOUR SINS! 165 00:06:53,663 --> 00:06:55,540 We go to church to learn that stuff! 166 00:06:55,665 --> 00:06:56,458 We go to movies to be entertained! 167 00:06:56,583 --> 00:06:58,209 We weren't entertained, and we want our money back! 168 00:06:58,376 --> 00:06:59,544 I'm now allowed to give you your money back 169 00:06:59,669 --> 00:07:01,338 after you sat through the whole movie! 170 00:07:01,463 --> 00:07:04,341 You'd have to take your complaint up with the film's producers. 171 00:07:04,466 --> 00:07:05,508 W-what? Mel Gibson? 172 00:07:05,633 --> 00:07:07,385 You're saying we have to get our money back from Mel Gibson? 173 00:07:07,510 --> 00:07:09,012 Yeah. I'd like to see you try. 174 00:07:09,137 --> 00:07:10,138 Oh, we will! 175 00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:10,847 This is America! 176 00:07:10,972 --> 00:07:12,098 And in America, if something sucks, 177 00:07:12,223 --> 00:07:13,725 you're supposed to be able to get your money back! 178 00:07:13,892 --> 00:07:16,353 Come on, Kenny! 179 00:07:16,561 --> 00:07:25,695 Kill him! Guilty! Kill him! 180 00:07:25,945 --> 00:07:33,745 Kill him! Kill him! 181 00:07:33,912 --> 00:07:34,329 Die! 182 00:07:34,496 --> 00:07:41,002 Kill Jesus! Yesss! Arrrgh! 183 00:07:52,597 --> 00:07:55,558 Okay, search for Mel Gibson. 184 00:07:55,809 --> 00:07:57,686 Mel Gibson bio, Mel Gibson news, Mel Gibson... 185 00:07:57,811 --> 00:07:59,145 home page. Here we go. 186 00:07:59,270 --> 00:08:00,980 Welcome to Mel Gibson's ThePassion.com, 187 00:08:01,189 --> 00:08:02,899 your source for everything Mel. 188 00:08:03,191 --> 00:08:04,275 Pictures, philosophy, upcoming projects. 189 00:08:04,359 --> 00:08:05,110 Damnit, no phone number! Oh wait! 190 00:08:05,235 --> 00:08:07,821 "For more information on Mel Gibson, call the Webmaster at 1-800-43.." 191 00:08:08,029 --> 00:08:09,406 Okay, okay, wait, here we go. 192 00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:18,373 Mel Gibson's The Passion Fan Club. 193 00:08:18,623 --> 00:08:20,959 Hi, uh, my friend and I just went to see The Passion 194 00:08:21,084 --> 00:08:22,669 Uh huh, and so you want to join the fan club now. 195 00:08:22,794 --> 00:08:24,587 Our first meeting is at 5:30 p.m. 196 00:08:24,796 --> 00:08:26,673 Nonono, no, we want our money back. 197 00:08:26,798 --> 00:08:28,091 What? 198 00:08:28,216 --> 00:08:29,009 We think the movie sucked 199 00:08:29,092 --> 00:08:30,802 and we want Mel Gibson to give us back our eighteen dollars. 200 00:08:30,927 --> 00:08:32,220 Do you know how we can get in touch with him? 201 00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:33,304 You thought it sucked? 202 00:08:33,471 --> 00:08:34,347 Sir, apparently, you don't understand 203 00:08:34,472 --> 00:08:35,515 what Mel Gibson was trying to do! 204 00:08:35,598 --> 00:08:37,142 He was trying to express, through cinema, 205 00:08:37,267 --> 00:08:39,060 the horror and filthiness of the common Jew. 206 00:08:39,227 --> 00:08:41,354 It has made people the world over open their eyes. 207 00:08:41,646 --> 00:08:43,273 Look, kid, we just thought it was a bad movie, 208 00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:44,524 so tell us how to get in touch with Mel Gibson 209 00:08:44,649 --> 00:08:46,109 so we can get our money back! 210 00:08:46,234 --> 00:08:46,985 If I knew where Mel Gibson was, 211 00:08:47,110 --> 00:08:49,320 I'd be down on the floor licking his balls at this very moment, sir. 212 00:08:49,487 --> 00:08:51,614 All I know is he lives somewhere in Malibu. 213 00:08:51,781 --> 00:08:53,074 Now stop wasting me and Mel Gibson's time, 214 00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:54,617 you little wussy prick. 215 00:08:54,784 --> 00:08:55,952 Hey, don't take that tone with me, kid! 216 00:08:56,077 --> 00:08:56,828 I'll kick your ass! 217 00:08:56,995 --> 00:08:57,454 Ohoh yeah?! 218 00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:58,747 I'd like to see you try, asshole! 219 00:08:58,872 --> 00:08:59,789 I'm like six feet tall! 220 00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:01,332 I don't care! You sound like a little bitch to me! 221 00:09:01,458 --> 00:09:02,667 Bitch?! Don't call me bitch! 222 00:09:02,792 --> 00:09:03,960 I'll pop your fuckin' head open! 223 00:09:04,085 --> 00:09:05,378 Yeah?! You wanna bring it, you little pussy?! 224 00:09:05,503 --> 00:09:07,005 I already brought it, bitch! I brought it, 225 00:09:07,172 --> 00:09:09,466 set it down on the table and opened it, bitch! 226 00:09:09,966 --> 00:09:11,801 Wait a minute. Cartman?! 227 00:09:11,968 --> 00:09:15,055 Eup. 228 00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:17,932 Come on, Kenny, we're going to Malibu! 229 00:09:18,016 --> 00:09:19,184 (Malibu? But how?) 230 00:09:19,309 --> 00:09:20,268 We'll take the bus! 231 00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:22,228 Look, this isn't about the eighteen dollars ticket money anymore. 232 00:09:22,312 --> 00:09:24,731 This is about being able to hold bad filmmakers responsible! 233 00:09:24,939 --> 00:09:26,691 This is just like when we got our money back for BASEketball! 234 00:09:27,942 --> 00:09:37,160 Eric, sweetie, there's a bunch of people 235 00:09:37,285 --> 00:09:39,704 showing up in our backyard saying something about a meeting? 236 00:09:39,954 --> 00:09:41,081 Yeah Mom, I'm holding a meeting 237 00:09:41,206 --> 00:09:43,249 for all the people who loved The Passion as much as I did. 238 00:09:43,500 --> 00:09:44,834 Oh, that's great, sweetie. 239 00:09:44,959 --> 00:09:46,002 Tell them I'll be down shortly 240 00:09:46,127 --> 00:09:47,754 Okay, hon. 241 00:09:48,838 --> 00:09:50,882 Tolten sie die Juden! 242 00:09:51,049 --> 00:09:54,260 Ver Kolen nichts fiersten vrieshtalan doshtiedt! 243 00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:56,179 Okay, I'm ready. 244 00:09:56,346 --> 00:10:00,266 I'm ready to do thy bidding, Mel Gibson. 245 00:10:02,394 --> 00:10:04,312 Hello, are you folks holding this Passion meeting? 246 00:10:04,562 --> 00:10:06,189 No. Actually, we're guests as well. 247 00:10:06,356 --> 00:10:08,525 I'm Jack Garrett and this is my wife Elise. 248 00:10:08,692 --> 00:10:09,109 Hello. 249 00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:10,318 I think it's so great that someone 250 00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:12,362 took the initiative to have a meeting like this. 251 00:10:12,529 --> 00:10:13,321 Oh I agree. 252 00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:15,365 There are so many of us who are moved by The Passion. 253 00:10:15,532 --> 00:10:17,075 It's a perfect idea to have us organize 254 00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:18,827 so we can strengthen the Christian community. 255 00:10:19,035 --> 00:10:20,620 And apparently the organizer is just 256 00:10:20,745 --> 00:10:22,580 an eight year old boy who was touched by the film. 257 00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:24,416 Leave it to a child to show us all the way, huh? 258 00:10:24,874 --> 00:10:26,918 Yeah, so I see this ad on the Internet saying 259 00:10:27,043 --> 00:10:28,837 if you love The Passion to come to this meeting, 260 00:10:29,045 --> 00:10:29,921 so here I am! 261 00:10:30,088 --> 00:10:31,589 It's great that everyone came here to figure out 262 00:10:31,715 --> 00:10:33,341 how to use The Passion to enrich everyone's lives. 263 00:10:35,552 --> 00:10:38,471 Ah hello everyone. Achtung. 264 00:10:39,806 --> 00:10:42,684 My name is Eric Cartman and I'm the President of the Mel Gibson Fan Club. 265 00:10:44,185 --> 00:10:45,562 Ah thank you, thank you. 266 00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:46,980 I'm happy to see that all of you were affected 267 00:10:47,105 --> 00:10:48,523 by The Passion like I was. 268 00:10:48,690 --> 00:10:50,900 Now, we all know why we're here, and I believe 269 00:10:51,026 --> 00:10:53,319 we all what needs to be done. 270 00:10:53,862 --> 00:10:55,405 We sure do. 271 00:10:55,572 --> 00:10:58,575 But, I think it's best we don't talk out loud about it 272 00:10:58,742 --> 00:11:02,996 until we have most of them on the trains heading to the camps. 273 00:11:03,288 --> 00:11:06,291 Wha, what does that mean, sweetie? 274 00:11:06,374 --> 00:11:07,375 I'm not sure, but-uh. 275 00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:08,668 Folks, I just wanna interrupt for a second 276 00:11:08,877 --> 00:11:10,503 and say how remarkable it is 277 00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:12,547 that this little boy brought us all together. 278 00:11:12,797 --> 00:11:15,300 The Passion is causing a revolution of spirituality, 279 00:11:15,550 --> 00:11:18,803 and we owe Mel Gibson and this little boy our thanks. 280 00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:21,348 Thank you, thank you very much. 281 00:11:21,556 --> 00:11:24,517 Now, in order to do what we all know needs to be done, 282 00:11:24,726 --> 00:11:26,686 we are first going to need more support. 283 00:11:26,811 --> 00:11:28,146 I think we should all go out and take at least 284 00:11:28,313 --> 00:11:29,773 one other person to see The Passion. 285 00:11:29,981 --> 00:11:31,274 Oh, what a great idea! 286 00:11:31,441 --> 00:11:34,152 We each make it our responsibility to convert one more person! 287 00:11:34,277 --> 00:11:35,945 Heheh great! Yeah! Great idea. 288 00:11:36,071 --> 00:11:38,281 Yes, and then we can begin the cleansing, 289 00:11:38,406 --> 00:11:39,699 if you know what I mean. 290 00:11:39,824 --> 00:11:40,575 We sure do! 291 00:11:40,742 --> 00:11:43,328 All right. Woohoo! 292 00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:48,708 Thank you. 293 00:11:48,958 --> 00:11:50,543 This must be the place. 294 00:11:53,672 --> 00:11:55,924 Goddamn, Mel Gibson must be loaded! 295 00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:03,390 Yes? 296 00:12:03,932 --> 00:12:06,476 Oh, hi, uh, my name is Stan, and this is Kenny 297 00:12:06,685 --> 00:12:07,143 (Hello) 298 00:12:07,310 --> 00:12:08,603 Uh, we saw your movie, The Passion, 299 00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:09,562 and we didn't like it, so, 300 00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:12,357 can we have our money back, please? 301 00:12:12,607 --> 00:12:14,651 You can't not like The Passion! 302 00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:15,860 I just followed the Bible! 303 00:12:15,985 --> 00:12:18,488 Christ died for you. Go home. 304 00:12:20,323 --> 00:12:21,908 Look, dude, we came a long way. 305 00:12:22,033 --> 00:12:23,493 We're not leaving until you give us our money. 306 00:12:23,618 --> 00:12:24,119 Oh yeah? 307 00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:25,787 Well you're gonna have to find it first. 308 00:12:25,912 --> 00:12:27,455 But I won't tell you where I keep my money. 309 00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:28,790 You can torture me all you want, 310 00:12:28,915 --> 00:12:30,000 I still won't tell you! 311 00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:30,917 Tor-torture you? 312 00:12:31,418 --> 00:12:33,962 Ha! So you DO intend to torture me, huh?! 313 00:12:34,170 --> 00:12:36,756 Well go ahead! Do your worst! 314 00:12:36,881 --> 00:12:38,758 You STILL won't get your ticket money back! 315 00:12:38,925 --> 00:12:40,719 I can take whatever you can dish out! 316 00:12:40,885 --> 00:12:42,595 We don't want to torture you. 317 00:12:42,721 --> 00:12:44,806 I get it, but you don't have a choice, is that it?! 318 00:12:45,056 --> 00:12:48,852 I just sure hope you don't use those whips over there on the wall! 319 00:12:48,977 --> 00:12:49,894 Dude, can we please just have 320 00:12:50,020 --> 00:12:51,563 the eighteen dollars back from you? 321 00:12:51,730 --> 00:12:53,690 I have to use that money to build my church! 322 00:12:53,815 --> 00:12:55,567 I brought the fire and brimstone back to Christianity 323 00:12:55,650 --> 00:12:57,485 with The Passion and now I'm gonna start my own church! 324 00:12:57,610 --> 00:12:59,070 And do you know why?! 325 00:12:59,154 --> 00:13:00,780 So I can play banjo! [ 326 00:13:00,905 --> 00:13:04,701 Jesus, oh how I love ya, how I love ya Jesus! 327 00:13:04,826 --> 00:13:06,661 Dude, this guy is freakin' daffy! 328 00:13:06,745 --> 00:13:09,247 How dare you call me crazy! 329 00:13:09,372 --> 00:13:11,041 This means war! 330 00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:21,259 And so it was that God sent his only son down from heaven, 331 00:13:21,676 --> 00:13:24,304 to die for our sins. 332 00:13:24,512 --> 00:13:26,556 Oh okay, but did God sent Jesus TO die, 333 00:13:26,681 --> 00:13:29,184 or did Jesus just get kind of screwed over. 334 00:13:29,851 --> 00:13:31,728 ...What is troubling you, my child? 335 00:13:31,853 --> 00:13:33,646 Well, I have this friend, see? 336 00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:35,190 And this friend belongs to a certain, 337 00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:36,608 Chosen People of Israel. 338 00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:37,442 And it 339 00:13:37,567 --> 00:13:40,111 ...so happens that these chosen people killed your Lord. 340 00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:42,280 Ah! You mean he's a Jew! 341 00:13:42,405 --> 00:13:43,198 Right. 342 00:13:43,406 --> 00:13:44,741 But he can't live with the guilt anymore. 343 00:13:44,908 --> 00:13:46,368 Because, even if Jesus wasn't really the Son of God, 344 00:13:46,493 --> 00:13:47,744 he was still a nice guy. 345 00:13:47,911 --> 00:13:50,246 And he didn't deserve what happened to him in Mel Gibson's movie. 346 00:13:50,413 --> 00:13:51,664 I I can't sleep at night. 347 00:13:51,790 --> 00:13:53,500 I mean, my... friend can't sleep at night. 348 00:13:53,625 --> 00:13:55,460 Yes, The Passion is very powerful. 349 00:13:55,627 --> 00:13:58,421 The truth is, there's not a whole lot in the Bible about the Crucifixion. 350 00:13:58,546 --> 00:14:00,465 The Passion was actually done as a performance piece 351 00:14:00,590 --> 00:14:03,343 back in the Middle Ages to incite people against the Jews. 352 00:14:03,510 --> 00:14:05,512 But how can the Jews make it better?? 353 00:14:05,679 --> 00:14:07,555 Well, if you really care about your friend's soul, 354 00:14:07,681 --> 00:14:09,891 then perhaps show him the way of Jesus. 355 00:14:10,016 --> 00:14:12,394 Remember: Christianity is about... atonement. 356 00:14:12,602 --> 00:14:13,728 Wait. That's it. 357 00:14:13,812 --> 00:14:15,397 Atonement. Of course. 358 00:14:15,522 --> 00:14:17,315 I know what I have to do now. 359 00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:20,068 Thank you, Father. 360 00:14:23,321 --> 00:14:27,701 Two days ago, I saw a vehicle that would haul that tanker 361 00:14:27,784 --> 00:14:31,329 You wanna get outta here? Talk to me. 362 00:14:31,454 --> 00:14:33,415 Mel Gibson is fucking crazy dude! 363 00:14:33,498 --> 00:14:35,750 Wait! There's his wallet! 364 00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:37,794 Freedom!!! 365 00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:39,045 Awww crap, he's only got twenties! 366 00:14:39,129 --> 00:14:41,381 You got two dollars, Kenny?? 367 00:14:41,506 --> 00:14:43,091 Jesus is Lord!!! 368 00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:48,054 All right, let's get the hell out of here! 369 00:14:49,973 --> 00:14:54,602 When you're a clown, nobody takes you seriously! 370 00:14:54,728 --> 00:14:57,647 Run, dude, run! 371 00:14:58,148 --> 00:15:01,526 K'plagh! K'plagh! 372 00:15:01,651 --> 00:15:07,824 And good evening, friends! 373 00:15:11,494 --> 00:15:14,873 One month ago today, this amazing film opened in theaters. 374 00:15:15,081 --> 00:15:17,292 And now, we proud few gathere here as a people 375 00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:20,378 brought together by its message! 376 00:15:20,962 --> 00:15:22,756 Fellow fans of Mel Gibson, 377 00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:24,674 our numbers have grown and now, together, 378 00:15:24,883 --> 00:15:28,219 we have the power to change the world! 379 00:15:28,553 --> 00:15:30,347 Now I believe we should take to the streets 380 00:15:30,597 --> 00:15:33,391 and march in unwavering support of this important movie! 381 00:15:33,558 --> 00:15:34,893 What a great idea! 382 00:15:35,060 --> 00:15:36,186 It'll be like a parade! 383 00:15:36,394 --> 00:15:37,937 Good idea! 384 00:15:38,563 --> 00:15:39,981 And as we march for The Pasion 385 00:15:40,148 --> 00:15:41,733 we should also voice our support! 386 00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:45,445 So, when I say "Es ist Zeit für sauberen," 387 00:15:45,612 --> 00:15:46,654 you all chant back 388 00:15:46,821 --> 00:15:49,908 "Wir müssen die Juden ausrotten." 389 00:15:50,158 --> 00:15:52,077 Well, what does that mean, dear? 390 00:15:52,202 --> 00:15:53,620 Oh, I think it's Aramaic. 391 00:15:53,787 --> 00:15:55,038 You know, like in the movie. 392 00:15:55,163 --> 00:15:56,831 Ooo, Aramaic. Cool. 393 00:15:56,956 --> 00:15:57,791 Neato! 394 00:15:58,166 --> 00:15:59,250 That'll be awesome. Great! 395 00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:01,086 What was our Aramaic line again? 396 00:16:01,211 --> 00:16:03,755 Wir müssen die Juden ausrotten!! 397 00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:06,883 Wir müssen die Juden ausrotten. 398 00:16:07,092 --> 00:16:09,135 Es ist Zeit für Reich! 399 00:16:09,260 --> 00:16:11,262 Wir müssen die Juden ausrotten. 400 00:16:11,429 --> 00:16:13,223 Oh huh, this is fun! 401 00:16:13,431 --> 00:16:14,432 All right, everyone! 402 00:16:14,599 --> 00:16:16,309 Forward, march! 403 00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:17,644 Es ist Zeit für Reich! 404 00:16:17,936 --> 00:16:19,771 Wir müssen die Juden ausrotten. 405 00:16:20,188 --> 00:16:22,440 Es ist Zeit für Reich! 406 00:16:22,607 --> 00:16:24,359 Wir müssen die Juden ausrotten. 407 00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:26,778 Nice. 408 00:16:29,739 --> 00:16:32,450 Shalom hak nak shalom. 409 00:16:32,659 --> 00:16:34,953 And now one of our fine young shlokas, 410 00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:36,371 Kyle Broflovski, 411 00:16:36,663 --> 00:16:39,124 has asked if he could speak to the congragation. 412 00:16:39,249 --> 00:16:41,543 Thank you, rabbi. 413 00:16:42,377 --> 00:16:45,505 In 1973, the United States officially issued an apology 414 00:16:45,714 --> 00:16:47,841 to the African American community for slavery. 415 00:16:48,049 --> 00:16:50,885 In 1956, Germany officially apologized for World War II 416 00:16:51,094 --> 00:16:52,595 AND the Holocaust. 417 00:16:52,762 --> 00:16:54,764 And now, I believe, in 2004, the Jewish community 418 00:16:54,931 --> 00:16:57,809 needs to apologize for the death of Jesus. 419 00:16:57,976 --> 00:16:59,310 What? 420 00:16:59,602 --> 00:17:01,271 Whatwhatwhaaat?! 421 00:17:01,479 --> 00:17:02,981 If we as a people choose not to believe 422 00:17:03,148 --> 00:17:04,315 that Jesus is the Son of God, 423 00:17:04,524 --> 00:17:06,359 then we can still apologize for the brutal way 424 00:17:06,609 --> 00:17:07,569 in which he was killed, 425 00:17:07,777 --> 00:17:09,696 and take our share of the responsibility for it. 426 00:17:09,863 --> 00:17:11,906 Oh my God! 427 00:17:12,073 --> 00:17:14,701 Kyle, what on earth has gotten into you?! 428 00:17:14,868 --> 00:17:15,785 I saw The Passion. 429 00:17:15,952 --> 00:17:17,287 Oh no! The Passion?! 430 00:17:17,454 --> 00:17:21,041 This proves the anti-Semitic veffect that movie is having! 431 00:17:21,207 --> 00:17:24,377 Yeah, it makes Jews into stereotypes. 432 00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:27,130 Stereotyping Jews is terrible. 433 00:17:27,297 --> 00:17:30,216 Something must be done to stop that movie! 434 00:17:30,592 --> 00:17:34,220 Now, now, everyone calm down. 435 00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:35,472 We live in a rational community, 436 00:17:35,597 --> 00:17:37,182 and everyone knows this is just a movie. 437 00:17:37,515 --> 00:17:39,017 There's no cause for alarm. 438 00:17:39,184 --> 00:17:40,727 Wir müssen die Juden ausrotten! 439 00:17:41,144 --> 00:17:42,896 Es ist Zeit für Reich! 440 00:17:43,104 --> 00:17:45,523 Wir müssen die Juden ausrotten! 441 00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:47,942 Es ist Zeit für Reich! 442 00:17:48,109 --> 00:17:50,236 Wir müssen die Juden ausrotten! 443 00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:53,531 Es ist Zeit für Reich! 444 00:17:56,034 --> 00:17:58,286 Well it looks like with these bus tickets we spend 445 00:17:58,453 --> 00:18:01,289 about eighty... seven dollars getting our money back from Mel Gibson. 446 00:18:01,456 --> 00:18:03,083 But I think it's the principle of the thing that matters. 447 00:18:03,208 --> 00:18:05,418 (Yeah. And the truth.) 448 00:18:06,211 --> 00:18:10,674 Oh, you've got to be shittin' me. 449 00:18:11,383 --> 00:18:14,010 Give me back my money! 450 00:18:14,219 --> 00:18:16,554 Goddamn, that guy's crazy. 451 00:18:16,805 --> 00:18:18,556 Hey dude, you've gotta speed up. 452 00:18:18,682 --> 00:18:19,182 Huh? 453 00:18:19,307 --> 00:18:20,600 Mel Gibson is chasing after us. You've gotta go faster. 454 00:18:20,725 --> 00:18:22,936 Haha, very funny, kid. 455 00:18:23,103 --> 00:18:24,270 Sit down and stop playing games. 456 00:18:24,437 --> 00:18:25,397 I'm not playing games. 457 00:18:25,563 --> 00:18:27,774 Mel Gibson is right behind you and he's gonna- 458 00:18:27,899 --> 00:18:28,942 What the hell? 459 00:18:29,025 --> 00:18:31,945 HAAAA! K'PLAAAH! 460 00:18:32,237 --> 00:18:33,905 Hey! That's Mel Gibson! 461 00:18:34,030 --> 00:18:35,365 Yeah. I told you that! 462 00:18:35,490 --> 00:18:36,658 Well, what the hell does he want?! 463 00:18:36,783 --> 00:18:38,284 He wouldn't give us our money back for The Passion, 464 00:18:38,410 --> 00:18:39,828 so we kinda took it. 465 00:18:39,911 --> 00:18:41,287 You didn't like The Passion? 466 00:18:41,454 --> 00:18:43,081 But it shows how Christ suffered for you. 467 00:18:43,206 --> 00:18:46,918 Mel Gibson is a very spiritual man. 468 00:18:50,672 --> 00:18:52,632 Both you guys, stop! Please. 469 00:18:52,757 --> 00:18:54,843 You're gonna make people hate us more. 470 00:18:54,968 --> 00:18:56,386 Can I help you? 471 00:18:56,511 --> 00:18:58,346 This movie is causing anti-Semitism! 472 00:18:58,513 --> 00:19:00,056 You must remove it from your theater! 473 00:19:00,223 --> 00:19:01,766 That's right! Yeah! 474 00:19:01,850 --> 00:19:02,809 Remove your movie! 475 00:19:02,892 --> 00:19:04,811 Remove it from the theater? Fat chance! 476 00:19:04,936 --> 00:19:06,855 We demand you stop showing it! 477 00:19:06,938 --> 00:19:08,148 Yeah! Yeah! 478 00:19:08,273 --> 00:19:10,025 Nonono! Don't become an angry mob! 479 00:19:10,191 --> 00:19:12,110 The last time we did that we killed Jesus! 480 00:19:12,235 --> 00:19:13,069 Juden! 481 00:19:13,194 --> 00:19:14,320 What's going on here? 482 00:19:14,404 --> 00:19:16,448 They're trying to have The Passion pulled from the theater. 483 00:19:16,614 --> 00:19:18,616 This film is anti-Semitic and it must be stopped! 484 00:19:18,742 --> 00:19:19,743 Nonsense! 485 00:19:19,868 --> 00:19:21,870 Mel Gibson is a smart and spiritual man! 486 00:19:21,995 --> 00:19:23,913 There's nothing anti-Semitic about it! 487 00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:26,624 It has reaffirmed all of our faith in Christ. 488 00:19:26,791 --> 00:19:28,543 It's made one of our little Jewish boys 489 00:19:28,626 --> 00:19:31,546 want to pologize for the death of Jesus! 490 00:19:31,755 --> 00:19:34,257 Well, maybe you should apologize. 491 00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:36,343 That's right! What he said. 492 00:19:36,468 --> 00:19:41,389 How dare you?! 493 00:19:43,641 --> 00:19:53,360 Give me my eighteen dollars! 494 00:19:53,902 --> 00:19:56,363 Mel! Gibson! 495 00:19:57,030 --> 00:19:59,574 Oh mein Savior! Mein Führer! 496 00:19:59,657 --> 00:20:00,950 You're actually here! 497 00:20:01,117 --> 00:20:02,744 Mr. Gibson, I have assembled the masses! 498 00:20:02,869 --> 00:20:04,662 We are ready to do thy bidding! 499 00:20:04,829 --> 00:20:06,331 Have I been a good boy, Mr. Gibson?! 500 00:20:06,456 --> 00:20:07,040 Hhha! 501 00:20:07,207 --> 00:20:10,377 So! You boys have led me here to your secret base, huh? 502 00:20:10,543 --> 00:20:12,253 I guess now you're gonna start torturing me! 503 00:20:12,420 --> 00:20:13,963 Well! 504 00:20:14,130 --> 00:20:16,675 Oh, my nipples are so tender -don't squeeze them anymore! 505 00:20:16,925 --> 00:20:19,135 That's... Mel Gibson? 506 00:20:19,427 --> 00:20:22,889 H-he's not... quite as eloquent as I had pictured. 507 00:20:23,181 --> 00:20:29,813 Dude, what's wrong with him? 508 00:20:29,938 --> 00:20:31,189 He's kookoo, dude. 509 00:20:31,356 --> 00:20:33,441 He's absolutely out of his mind. 510 00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:36,069 You! You would all love to torture me, wouldn't you? 511 00:20:36,194 --> 00:20:37,487 Okay, fine. 512 00:20:37,570 --> 00:20:39,739 See what you can fit in there, I can take it! 513 00:20:39,906 --> 00:20:41,491 Dude! I've been freaked out this whole time 514 00:20:41,616 --> 00:20:43,535 because of THAT guy's movie? 515 00:20:43,702 --> 00:20:46,162 Fine! If nobody here is man enough to torture me, 516 00:20:46,329 --> 00:20:48,665 then just give me my eighteen dollars! 517 00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:49,958 It's our eighteen dollars! 518 00:20:50,083 --> 00:20:51,167 Your movie sucked! 519 00:20:51,334 --> 00:20:52,752 You can't say my movie sucked, 520 00:20:52,877 --> 00:20:54,921 or else you're saying Christianity sucked! 521 00:20:55,046 --> 00:20:57,340 No, dude, if you wanna be Christian, that's cool, but, 522 00:20:57,424 --> 00:20:58,842 you should follow what Jesus taught 523 00:20:58,967 --> 00:21:00,135 instead of how he got killed. 524 00:21:00,260 --> 00:21:01,428 Focusing on how he got killed is 525 00:21:01,553 --> 00:21:02,679 what people did in the Dark Ages 526 00:21:02,887 --> 00:21:05,432 and it ends up with really bad results. 527 00:21:06,349 --> 00:21:08,727 You know, he's right, Elise. 528 00:21:08,893 --> 00:21:10,103 We shouldn't focus our faith 529 00:21:10,311 --> 00:21:12,105 on the torture and execution of Christ. 530 00:21:12,230 --> 00:21:13,106 Yeah. 531 00:21:13,189 --> 00:21:15,525 Lots of people got crucified in those times. 532 00:21:15,692 --> 00:21:18,319 We shouldn't rely on violence to inspire faith. 533 00:21:18,528 --> 00:21:20,030 Aw, aw, no, come on, people, 534 00:21:20,238 --> 00:21:23,158 we're so close to completing my final solution! 535 00:21:23,283 --> 00:21:25,368 Oh, dude, I feel so much better about being Jewish 536 00:21:25,493 --> 00:21:28,455 now that I see that Mel Gibson is just a big wacko douche. 537 00:21:28,580 --> 00:21:34,044 Woohoohoo! Woohoohoohoohoo! 36647

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.