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[Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
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00:00:15,676 --> 00:00:18,137
and NICKELODEON]
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( thunder rumbling )
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00:00:24,810 --> 00:00:27,396
Ernie:
THEY'LL FIND HIM.
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00:00:27,479 --> 00:00:28,939
HE'S A TOUGH OLD BIRD.
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00:00:29,022 --> 00:00:31,442
HE WON'T GO DOWN
WITHOUT A FIGHT.
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00:00:31,525 --> 00:00:33,569
Oskar:
I BET YOU TWO DOLLARS HE'S DEAD.
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00:00:33,652 --> 00:00:34,987
WHAT'S GOING ON?
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00:00:35,070 --> 00:00:36,238
IT'S ABOUT DINO.
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00:00:36,321 --> 00:00:36,947
DINO?
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00:00:37,030 --> 00:00:38,365
THERE WAS AN ACCIDENT.
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00:00:38,449 --> 00:00:40,451
Reporter:
As daylight fades on the Sound
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00:00:40,534 --> 00:00:43,495
so do the last lingering hopes
of rescue workers
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00:00:43,579 --> 00:00:45,664
friends and fans
that aging singer
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00:00:45,748 --> 00:00:47,416
Dino Spumoni
might still be found alive.
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00:00:47,499 --> 00:00:49,293
OH, NO.
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00:00:49,376 --> 00:00:50,753
Spumoni remains missing
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00:00:50,836 --> 00:00:53,130
after reportedly
falling from his yacht
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00:00:53,213 --> 00:00:54,298
early this morning.
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00:00:54,381 --> 00:00:56,216
As we await word on his fate
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00:00:56,300 --> 00:00:57,968
let's look back at his career.
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00:00:58,051 --> 00:01:01,805
The 67-year-old crooner rose
to tremendous popularity
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00:01:01,889 --> 00:01:03,891
in the '50s and early '60s
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00:01:03,974 --> 00:01:08,437
topping the charts
with such hits as
"You Better Not Touch My Gal."
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00:01:08,520 --> 00:01:09,688
A member of the notorious
Rat Pack
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00:01:09,772 --> 00:01:13,150
Spumoni also had numerous
run-ins with the police.
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00:01:13,233 --> 00:01:17,488
After serving five days in jail
in 1965 for assaulting
a photographer
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00:01:17,571 --> 00:01:19,281
the singer was philosophical.
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00:01:19,364 --> 00:01:20,407
Reporters:
Dino... How was jail?
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00:01:20,491 --> 00:01:23,452
It was the worst joint
I ever stayed at...
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00:01:23,535 --> 00:01:24,077
outside of Pittsburgh.
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00:01:24,161 --> 00:01:25,871
( laughter )
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00:01:25,954 --> 00:01:27,498
But I learned my lesson.
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00:01:27,581 --> 00:01:29,374
You won't see Dino
going around
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00:01:29,458 --> 00:01:32,503
punching out
photographers anymore.
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00:01:32,586 --> 00:01:35,923
Reporter:
In the mid-'60s, despite
the growing popularity
of rock and roll
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00:01:36,006 --> 00:01:37,758
and so-called psychedelic music
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00:01:37,841 --> 00:01:39,676
Spumoni tried
to stay on the charts
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00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:41,512
by adapting his style
to the times.
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( rock music playing )
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♪ Wacka-wacka, wow-wow,
wacka-wacka wow... ♪
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Reporter:
Trippin' with Dino failed
to attract many young fans
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00:01:51,647 --> 00:01:54,358
and turned off some
of his loyal older supporters.
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00:01:54,441 --> 00:01:56,693
Nevertheless, Spumoni lived
the good life.
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00:01:56,777 --> 00:01:58,362
A favorite
of the rich and famous
46
00:01:58,445 --> 00:02:01,031
he was also a frequent guest
at the White House
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00:02:01,114 --> 00:02:03,700
where he reportedly
had the ear of the president.
48
00:02:03,784 --> 00:02:05,327
Hey, Lyndon,
I got your ear!
49
00:02:05,410 --> 00:02:07,371
( laughing ):
Aw, cut that out.
50
00:02:07,454 --> 00:02:10,999
Let go, you big
Eye-talian nut job.
Sic 'em, Yukie.
51
00:02:11,083 --> 00:02:13,877
Reporter:
After his third marriage
ended in the mid-'70S
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00:02:13,961 --> 00:02:16,296
and his record and concert sales
began a steady decline
53
00:02:16,380 --> 00:02:19,466
Spumoni struggled to keep
his failing career afloat.
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00:02:19,550 --> 00:02:24,096
Duets in the '80S with
Run-D.M.C., Guns-n-Roses
and Tiffany
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00:02:24,179 --> 00:02:25,389
gave the singer momentary boosts
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00:02:25,472 --> 00:02:29,935
but in recent years, Spumoni's
career has bottomed out.
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00:02:30,018 --> 00:02:31,436
The singer's personal life
has fared no better.
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00:02:31,520 --> 00:02:35,732
His fifth marriage,
to beautician Candy Maldonado
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00:02:35,816 --> 00:02:38,235
ended in divorce
just six months ago.
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00:02:38,318 --> 00:02:42,406
But while others abandoned
the one-time pop star,
one man stood by him:
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00:02:42,489 --> 00:02:45,826
Don Reynolds, his long-time
songwriting partner and
devoted friend.
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00:02:45,909 --> 00:02:47,911
I always hated him.
63
00:02:47,995 --> 00:02:48,620
He's a selfish,
low-life ingrate.
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00:02:48,704 --> 00:02:51,290
I hope he's dead.
65
00:02:51,373 --> 00:02:53,917
Reporter:
Now, as I read this report
just handed to me
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00:02:54,001 --> 00:02:56,336
the Coast Guard has officially
called off the search
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00:02:56,420 --> 00:03:00,716
confirming what has been
all but a foregone conclusion:
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00:03:00,799 --> 00:03:03,760
Dino Spumoni,
American entertainer,
legend and petty criminal
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00:03:03,844 --> 00:03:06,430
is dead at the age of 67.
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00:03:06,513 --> 00:03:07,347
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
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00:03:07,431 --> 00:03:09,057
HEY, HEY, HEY,
I WIN THE BET!
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00:03:09,141 --> 00:03:10,601
YOU OWE ME
TWO DOLLARS!
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00:03:10,684 --> 00:03:11,476
HE WAS A GREAT SINGER.
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00:03:11,560 --> 00:03:12,686
A GIANT.
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00:03:12,769 --> 00:03:14,730
Finally, this late word
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00:03:14,813 --> 00:03:16,106
that a note has been found
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believed to have been written
by Spumoni only last night.
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00:03:20,611 --> 00:03:22,070
It reads, "I got nothing left.
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00:03:22,154 --> 00:03:24,323
"My career's a bust,
and so is my personal life.
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00:03:24,406 --> 00:03:26,408
"I took my best shot,
but it all came to nothing.
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00:03:26,491 --> 00:03:29,578
"So now that I'm all alone
and washed up
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00:03:29,661 --> 00:03:31,997
I might as well say,
'Sayonara, Baby.'"
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00:03:32,080 --> 00:03:34,333
The note is signed simply,
"Dino."
84
00:03:34,416 --> 00:03:34,833
Back to you, Ted.
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00:03:34,917 --> 00:03:36,627
IT JUST SO SAD.
86
00:03:36,710 --> 00:03:37,628
YEAH, I KNOW.
87
00:03:37,711 --> 00:03:38,712
BUT THESE THINGS HAPPEN.
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00:03:38,795 --> 00:03:40,923
IT'S ALL PART OF
THE GREAT MYSTERY OF LIFE.
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00:03:41,006 --> 00:03:43,300
CAN WE GO
TO THE FUNERAL?
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00:03:43,383 --> 00:03:45,886
WELL, OF COURSE WE CAN
GO TO THE FUNERAL,
SHORT MAN.
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00:03:45,969 --> 00:03:47,721
IT WOULD BE WRONG
NOT TO GO.
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00:03:47,804 --> 00:03:52,976
AFTER ALL, DINO STARTED
HIS CAREER RIGHT HERE
IN THE BOARDING HOUSE.
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00:03:53,060 --> 00:03:54,478
WE ALL KNEW
AND LOVED HIM.
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00:03:54,561 --> 00:03:57,522
PLUS THERE'S BOUND TO BE
LOTS AND LOTS OF FREE FOOD!
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00:03:57,606 --> 00:04:00,025
OH, BOY, I HOPE
THERE'S SHRIMP COCKTAIL!
96
00:04:01,526 --> 00:04:03,612
GRANDPA, REMEMBER,
DON'T MAKE ANY JOKES.
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00:04:03,695 --> 00:04:05,614
EVERYONE'S HERE
TO PAY THEIR RESPECTS
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00:04:05,697 --> 00:04:07,824
AND TALK ABOUT HOW MUCH
THEY CARED ABOUT HIM.
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00:04:07,908 --> 00:04:08,617
YOU GOT IT.
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00:04:08,700 --> 00:04:10,202
Reynolds:
WHAT CAN YOU SAY
101
00:04:10,285 --> 00:04:11,703
ABOUT A GUY LIKE DINO?
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00:04:11,787 --> 00:04:15,874
HE WAS A MEAN, BITTER, SELFISH,
ARROGANT, BACK-STABBING...
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00:04:15,958 --> 00:04:18,669
A NASTY HUMAN BEING...
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00:04:18,752 --> 00:04:21,171
BUT DINO HAD ANOTHER SIDE, TOO.
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00:04:21,254 --> 00:04:23,715
HE WAS ALSO A SNIVELING COWARD.
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00:04:23,799 --> 00:04:25,342
Woman:
I THINK
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YOUSE ALL KNOW ME.
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00:04:26,760 --> 00:04:29,513
CANDY MALDONADO SPUMONI,
DINO'S LAST EX.
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00:04:29,596 --> 00:04:33,016
DINO AND I HAD TWO
REALLY GREAT YEARS TOGETHER.
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00:04:33,100 --> 00:04:34,685
THEN WE GOT MARRIED.
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00:04:34,768 --> 00:04:36,186
THEN AFTER THAT,
WE GOT DIVORCED
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00:04:36,269 --> 00:04:39,147
AND I MADE
A WHOLE PILE OF MONEY.
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00:04:39,231 --> 00:04:41,984
ANYWAYS, WE HAD OUR GOOD TIMES,
AND EVEN THOUGH
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00:04:42,067 --> 00:04:42,859
HE WAS GONE A LOT
OUT ON THE ROAD
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00:04:42,943 --> 00:04:44,069
HE WASN'T A BAD GUY.
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00:04:44,152 --> 00:04:47,155
OH, YEAH, AND HE WAS REALLY OKAY
117
00:04:47,239 --> 00:04:49,199
WITH MY WONDERFUL SON JIMMY.
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00:04:49,282 --> 00:04:50,867
JIMMY REALLY LOVED DINO.
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00:04:50,951 --> 00:04:51,702
CAN WE GO NOW?
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00:04:51,785 --> 00:04:55,038
( screeching ):
IN A MINUTE!
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00:04:55,122 --> 00:04:58,834
IN CONCLUSION, IT'S REAL SAD
ABOUT DINO'S UNTIMELY PASSING
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00:04:58,917 --> 00:05:03,547
BUT I KNOW HE'S LOOKING DOWN
ON US NOW FROM A BEAUTIFUL CLOUD
UP IN HEAVEN.
123
00:05:03,630 --> 00:05:04,965
( coughing )
124
00:05:05,048 --> 00:05:06,174
OKAY, THAT'S IT.
125
00:05:06,258 --> 00:05:08,635
EVERYBODY'S INVITED
BACK TO THE HOUSE TO EAT!
126
00:05:08,719 --> 00:05:10,262
Grandpa:
HOT DOG, I KNEW IT!
127
00:05:10,345 --> 00:05:11,304
SHRIMP COCKTAIL!
128
00:05:11,388 --> 00:05:13,015
OH, SWEET JIMINY... MMM...
129
00:05:13,098 --> 00:05:14,516
WHO'S IN HEAVEN NOW?
130
00:05:14,599 --> 00:05:15,434
GRANDPA...
131
00:05:15,517 --> 00:05:17,477
ARNOLD, LOOK,
SHRIMP COCKTAIL...
132
00:05:17,561 --> 00:05:18,729
DINO'S LAWYER
133
00:05:18,812 --> 00:05:21,231
JUST INVITED ME
TO THE READING OF HIS WILL.
134
00:05:21,314 --> 00:05:24,860
MAYBE DINO LEFT YOU SOMETHING,
LIKE AN ASHTRAY OR A LAWN GNOME.
135
00:05:24,943 --> 00:05:27,404
IT'D BE NICE TO HAVE SOMETHING
TO REMEMBER HIM BY.
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00:05:27,487 --> 00:05:30,073
SURE IT WILL, ESPECIALLY
IF IT'S A LAWN GNOME.
137
00:05:30,157 --> 00:05:31,033
NOW TRY THE SHRIMP, ARNOLD.
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00:05:31,116 --> 00:05:33,493
NO, THANKS, GRANDPA.
139
00:05:33,577 --> 00:05:35,370
OH, COME ON,
IT'S GOOD...
140
00:05:35,454 --> 00:05:37,456
Man:
"AS FOR MY REMAINING PAINTINGS
141
00:05:37,539 --> 00:05:38,707
"AND OTHER COLLECTIBLES
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00:05:38,790 --> 00:05:40,584
"I LEAVE THEM
TO BE DIVIDED EQUALLY
143
00:05:40,667 --> 00:05:43,503
"AMONGST MY FIVE EX-WIVES,
EXCEPT BUNNY
144
00:05:43,587 --> 00:05:44,337
WHO GETS JACK SQUAT."
145
00:05:44,421 --> 00:05:47,090
AW, NUTS!
TAKE ME HOME, CHOOCH!
146
00:05:47,174 --> 00:05:48,258
( clears throat )
147
00:05:48,341 --> 00:05:49,760
"BECAUSE I HAVE NO CHILDREN
148
00:05:49,843 --> 00:05:51,595
"AND BECAUSE I OWE
A PILE IN ALIMONY
149
00:05:51,678 --> 00:05:54,723
"I LEAVE THE REMAINDER
OF MY EXISTING CASH
AND ASSETS
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00:05:54,806 --> 00:05:56,600
TO MY MOST RECENT
EX-WIFE, CANDY."
151
00:05:56,683 --> 00:05:57,059
YES!
152
00:05:57,142 --> 00:05:57,809
CAN WE GO NOW?
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00:05:57,893 --> 00:05:58,935
IN A MINUTE!
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00:05:59,019 --> 00:05:59,936
AND FINALLY
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00:06:00,020 --> 00:06:02,230
MR. SPUMONI HAS DIRECTED
156
00:06:02,314 --> 00:06:04,149
IN HIS LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT
157
00:06:04,232 --> 00:06:05,609
THAT... "ALL EARNINGS
FROM FUTURE SALES
158
00:06:05,692 --> 00:06:08,945
"OF MY RECORDS, VIDEOS
AND ALL OTHER MEDIA
159
00:06:09,029 --> 00:06:12,282
"CURRENT AND IN PERPETUITY,
IN THIS UNIVERSE OR IN ANY OTHER
160
00:06:12,365 --> 00:06:14,826
"INCLUDING PLANETS INHABITED
AND/OR RULED BY APES
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00:06:14,910 --> 00:06:18,955
SHALL BE AWARDED TO MY ONE
GOOD AND LOYAL FRIEND, ARNOLD."
162
00:06:19,039 --> 00:06:19,956
WHAT?
163
00:06:20,040 --> 00:06:21,374
"IN ADDITION,
I LEAVE HIM
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00:06:21,458 --> 00:06:23,126
"MY COLLECTION
OF CUSTOM SUITS
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00:06:23,210 --> 00:06:25,045
AND A BOX OF ASSORTED
PERSONAL MEMENTOS."
166
00:06:25,128 --> 00:06:30,133
Grandpa:
IT WON'T AMOUNT TO MUCH MONEY--
HIS RECORDS AREN'T SELLING--
167
00:06:30,217 --> 00:06:33,303
BUT IT WAS NICE OF HIM
TO THINK OF YOU.
168
00:06:33,386 --> 00:06:35,806
WHY WOULD HE LEAVE ALL THIS
PERSONAL STUFF TO ME?
169
00:06:35,889 --> 00:06:36,598
MAYBE IT WAS JUST A WHIM
170
00:06:36,681 --> 00:06:38,809
OR MAYBE HE WAS GETTING SENILE
171
00:06:38,892 --> 00:06:40,393
OR MAYBE HE JUST LIKED YOU.
172
00:06:40,477 --> 00:06:41,353
MAYBE...
173
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SHRIMP COCKTAIL?
174
00:06:42,395 --> 00:06:43,480
IT'S FROM THE FUNERAL.
175
00:06:43,563 --> 00:06:45,148
THOSE RUBBER POCKETS
PAID OFF.
176
00:06:45,232 --> 00:06:47,818
LOOK AT ALL THIS-
HIS OLD PICTURES AND RECORDS.
177
00:06:47,901 --> 00:06:50,529
OOH, A PAPERBACK COPY
OF I THE JURY.
178
00:06:50,612 --> 00:06:54,032
OH, I... I'LL JUST HANG ONTO
THIS FOR YOU UNTIL YOU TURN TEN.
179
00:06:54,116 --> 00:06:57,244
IT'S ALMOST LIKE DINO LEFT
HIS WHOLE LIFE IN MY HANDS.
180
00:06:57,327 --> 00:06:58,245
NOT HIS WHOLE LIFE.
181
00:06:58,328 --> 00:06:59,996
JUST A BUNCH
OF HIS OLD THINGS.
182
00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:03,875
THERE'S A BIG DIFFERENCE:
LIVES ARE MESSY...
OLD THINGS ARE FUN.
183
00:07:03,959 --> 00:07:05,794
TAKE ME, FOR EXAMPLE.
( laughs )
184
00:07:05,877 --> 00:07:07,504
I JUST WISH
I COULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING.
185
00:07:24,312 --> 00:07:28,233
OH, ARNOLD, I HEARD
YOUR FRIEND DIED.
186
00:07:28,316 --> 00:07:29,359
YEAH.
187
00:07:29,442 --> 00:07:30,527
WELL, DON'T FEEL BAD.
188
00:07:30,610 --> 00:07:32,195
I MEAN,
HE WAS AN OLD GUY
189
00:07:32,279 --> 00:07:34,364
AND THAT'S
WHAT OLD GUYS DO.
190
00:07:34,447 --> 00:07:35,532
THEY DIE.
191
00:07:35,615 --> 00:07:37,701
AND BESIDES...
192
00:07:37,784 --> 00:07:40,495
HE WASN'T THAT GOOD
OF A SINGER ANYWAY.
193
00:07:47,127 --> 00:07:48,211
Man:
PSST!
194
00:07:48,295 --> 00:07:49,963
HUH? WHO SAID THAT?
195
00:07:50,046 --> 00:07:51,131
OVER HERE.
196
00:07:51,214 --> 00:07:52,132
WHO'S THERE?
197
00:07:52,215 --> 00:07:53,425
IT'S ME... DINO.
198
00:07:53,508 --> 00:07:53,967
COME ON, WHO IS THAT?
199
00:07:54,050 --> 00:07:56,052
IGGY, IS THAT YOU?
200
00:07:56,136 --> 00:07:57,971
NO, IT'S ME, DINO--
DINO SPUMONI.
201
00:07:58,054 --> 00:07:59,556
WHAT?! BUT, I MEAN...
202
00:07:59,639 --> 00:08:00,974
YOU CAN'T BE! DINO?
203
00:08:01,057 --> 00:08:01,725
IN THE FLESH, BABY.
204
00:08:01,808 --> 00:08:03,894
BUT YOU'RE
SUPPOSED TO BE...
205
00:08:03,977 --> 00:08:05,312
DEAD? I KNOW,
BUT I'M NOT.
206
00:08:05,395 --> 00:08:07,731
EVERYBODY THINKS
I'M DEAD, EXCEPT YOU.
207
00:08:07,814 --> 00:08:09,191
IT'S ALL
PART OF MY PLAN.
208
00:08:09,274 --> 00:08:09,858
YOUR PLAN?
209
00:08:09,941 --> 00:08:11,234
THAT'S RIGHT, MY PLAN.
210
00:08:11,318 --> 00:08:12,235
I'LL EXPLAIN, BUT
211
00:08:12,319 --> 00:08:12,569
FIRST
I NEED A FAVOR.
212
00:08:14,988 --> 00:08:15,655
THIS WILL DO FINE.
213
00:08:15,739 --> 00:08:17,365
LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT.
214
00:08:17,449 --> 00:08:18,825
YOU FAKED YOUR OWN DEATH?
215
00:08:18,909 --> 00:08:20,702
THAT'S RIGHT,
I FAKED MY OWN DEATH.
216
00:08:20,785 --> 00:08:21,745
ALL PART OF MY PLAN.
217
00:08:21,828 --> 00:08:23,663
I JUMPED OVERBOARD
AND SWAM TO SHORE.
218
00:08:23,747 --> 00:08:24,623
NOBODY KNEW
I COULD SWIM,
NOBODY.
219
00:08:24,706 --> 00:08:27,250
BUT I BEEN
TAKING LESSONS
ON THE SLY.
220
00:08:27,334 --> 00:08:30,420
THAT WAS THE KEY.
I KNEW THEY'D FIGURE
I WAS A GONER.
221
00:08:30,503 --> 00:08:31,421
BUT WHY?
222
00:08:31,504 --> 00:08:32,672
RECORD SALES.
223
00:08:32,756 --> 00:08:33,757
I DON'T GET IT.
224
00:08:33,840 --> 00:08:35,508
SIMPLE--
MY RECORD SALES
WERE DOWN.
225
00:08:35,592 --> 00:08:36,760
I WAS A FORGOTTEN MAN.
226
00:08:36,843 --> 00:08:38,637
OLD, WASHED-UP... A HAS-BEEN.
227
00:08:38,720 --> 00:08:42,307
THEN IT HIT ME...
MOST ARTISTS DON'T GET
FAMOUS TILL THEY'RE DEAD.
228
00:08:42,390 --> 00:08:43,475
TAKE THAT CRAZY PAINTER,
UH... VAN GOGH.
229
00:08:43,558 --> 00:08:46,645
WORKS ALL HIS LIFE,
NEVER SELLS A PAINTING.
230
00:08:46,728 --> 00:08:48,772
THE DAY AFTER HE CROAKS,
BING-BANG-BOOM
231
00:08:48,855 --> 00:08:50,440
EVERYONE'S PULLING IN
BIG DOUGH FOR HIS PICTURES.
232
00:08:50,523 --> 00:08:53,068
THE POOR CLOWN GETS RICH
AND FAMOUS OVERNIGHT.
233
00:08:53,151 --> 00:08:55,070
THAT GAVE ME THE IDEA.
234
00:08:55,153 --> 00:08:56,112
I FAKE MY OWN DEATH
235
00:08:56,196 --> 00:08:58,782
MY RECORDS
START SELLING
LIKE VAN GOGHS.
236
00:08:58,865 --> 00:09:01,451
BUT I GOT ONE UP ON HIM
BECAUSE I'M NOT REALLY DEAD.
237
00:09:01,534 --> 00:09:03,537
BUT HOW ARE YOU GOING
TO GET THE MONEY
238
00:09:03,620 --> 00:09:05,080
IF THEY THINK YOU'RE DEAD?
239
00:09:05,163 --> 00:09:06,456
I LEFT ALL THE MONEY TO YOU
240
00:09:06,539 --> 00:09:07,207
SO YOU COULD CASH MY CHECKS
241
00:09:07,290 --> 00:09:09,626
AND BRING BACK THE GREEN.
242
00:09:09,709 --> 00:09:12,170
WHAT ABOUT YOUR FAMILY,
YOUR FRIENDS AND YOUR CAREER?
243
00:09:12,254 --> 00:09:14,339
HOW COULD YOU JUST
GIVE UP YOUR WHOLE LIFE?
244
00:09:14,422 --> 00:09:16,841
WHAT LIFE?
FIVE EX-WIVES,
A CAREER IN THE TOILET
245
00:09:16,925 --> 00:09:18,468
A HOUSE I COULD
BARELY PAY FOR.
246
00:09:18,551 --> 00:09:19,511
67 YEARS I PUT
A LIFE TOGETHER.
247
00:09:19,594 --> 00:09:22,472
AND WHAT DID IT COME TO?
BUPKUS, BABY!
248
00:09:22,556 --> 00:09:24,975
BUT, DINO, YOU MADE
EVERYBODY THINK
YOU WERE DEAD.
249
00:09:25,058 --> 00:09:27,561
I MEAN, A LOT OF PEOPLE
FELT REALLY SAD ABOUT IT.
250
00:09:27,644 --> 00:09:29,312
IT WAS KIND OF
A MEAN THING TO DO.
251
00:09:29,396 --> 00:09:30,981
HEY, WHAT DO YOU
WANT FROM ME?
252
00:09:31,064 --> 00:09:32,983
IT WAS THE ONLY WAY,
I HAD TO DO IT.
253
00:09:33,066 --> 00:09:34,401
WELL, WHAT ARE
YOUR PLANS?
254
00:09:34,484 --> 00:09:37,153
I MEAN, YOU WON'T BE ABLE
TO GO OUT OR SEE ANYBODY.
255
00:09:37,237 --> 00:09:38,488
I HADN'T THOUGHT
OF THAT.
256
00:09:38,571 --> 00:09:39,489
WELL, AT LEAST
I'LL HAVE THE GREEN.
257
00:09:39,572 --> 00:09:42,158
'CAUSE YOU'LL BE
CASHING MY CHECKS.
258
00:09:42,242 --> 00:09:44,286
I'LL GIVE YOU
TEN PERCENT
FOR YOUR TROUBLE.
259
00:09:44,369 --> 00:09:45,287
YOU DON'T HAVE TO PAY ME...
260
00:09:45,370 --> 00:09:46,454
DON'T BE A CHUMP.
261
00:09:46,538 --> 00:09:50,000
TAKE THE MONEY
AND CASH THE CHECKS.
262
00:09:50,083 --> 00:09:51,042
IT'S A PERFECT PLAN.
263
00:09:51,126 --> 00:09:53,003
I'LL LIVE HERE
IN THE BOARDINGHOUSE
264
00:09:53,086 --> 00:09:54,504
LIKE WHEN I FIRST
GOT STARTED.
265
00:09:54,587 --> 00:09:56,965
MY RECORDS WILL SELL
LIKE HOTCAKES
266
00:09:57,048 --> 00:09:58,508
AND EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE.
267
00:09:58,591 --> 00:10:00,051
DINO, I THINK
YOUR WHOLE PLAN IS CRAZY.
268
00:10:00,135 --> 00:10:02,178
JUST TELL EVERYONE
269
00:10:02,262 --> 00:10:03,805
YOU'RE STILL ALIVE, APOLOGIZE
270
00:10:03,888 --> 00:10:05,223
AND GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE.
271
00:10:05,307 --> 00:10:06,516
AH, WHAT DO YOU KNOW?
272
00:10:06,599 --> 00:10:07,684
YOU'RE JUST A KID.
273
00:10:07,767 --> 00:10:09,311
MY PLAN IS FOOLPROOF,
TRUST ME.
274
00:10:09,394 --> 00:10:11,146
WHAT IF THE BOARDERS
HEAR YOU?
275
00:10:11,229 --> 00:10:12,564
TELL THEM IT'S RATS.
276
00:10:47,849 --> 00:10:48,725
NEXT THING I KNOW, IT'S GONE--
A WHOLE HOAGIE.
277
00:10:48,808 --> 00:10:49,643
IT VANISHED
INTO THIN AIR.
278
00:10:49,726 --> 00:10:50,310
NOW TELL ME
THAT'S NOT STRANGE.
279
00:10:50,393 --> 00:10:51,478
YES, VERY STRANGE.
280
00:10:51,561 --> 00:10:52,270
AND I AM ALWAYS
HEARING NOISES,
HUMMING NOISES.
281
00:10:52,354 --> 00:10:53,271
IT'S VERY CREEPY.
282
00:10:53,355 --> 00:10:53,897
I HEARD SOMETHING
MOANING IN THE BASEMENT
283
00:10:53,980 --> 00:10:55,482
SO I GOT UP MY COURAGE
284
00:10:55,565 --> 00:10:56,232
AND I GOT SUZIE TO GO DOWN
AND INVESTIGATE.
285
00:10:56,316 --> 00:10:56,691
BUT WHEN SHE WENT DOWN THERE
286
00:10:56,775 --> 00:10:57,609
IT WAS GONE.
287
00:10:57,692 --> 00:10:58,902
MAYBE IT'S... RATS?
288
00:10:58,985 --> 00:11:00,070
THERE'S NO RATS IN
THE BOARDINGHOUSE...
EXCEPT OSKAR.
289
00:11:00,153 --> 00:11:00,320
THAT'S RIGHT,
THERE'S NOT RAT...HEY!
290
00:11:01,237 --> 00:11:02,113
Arnold:
BUT DINO...
291
00:11:02,197 --> 00:11:02,906
THEY'RE STARTING
TO GET SUSPICIOUS.
292
00:11:02,989 --> 00:11:04,199
THEY'VE HEARD NOISES...
293
00:11:04,282 --> 00:11:05,325
OKAY, RELAX. FROM NOW ON,
I'LL BE EXTRA CAREFUL.
294
00:11:05,408 --> 00:11:06,659
QUIET AS A MOUSE,
I PROMISE.
295
00:11:06,743 --> 00:11:06,785
TRUST ME, NOBODY'S
EVER GOING TO KNOW I'M HERE.
296
00:11:07,577 --> 00:11:08,244
♪ BA BA BA BA ♪
297
00:11:08,328 --> 00:11:09,412
♪ BA BA DI DA DO ♪
298
00:11:09,496 --> 00:11:13,416
♪ BA DO DO DO DO DO DO,
COCKADOODLE DO... ♪
299
00:11:13,500 --> 00:11:14,542
WHO'S IN THE SHOWER?!
300
00:11:14,626 --> 00:11:16,961
I TOLD YOU SOMETHING FUNNY'S
GOING ON.
301
00:11:17,045 --> 00:11:17,962
♪ BA DA... ♪
302
00:11:20,173 --> 00:11:22,550
LOOKS LIKE THE JIG'S UP, KID.
303
00:11:22,634 --> 00:11:23,259
YOU KNEW ABOUT THIS,
ARNOLD?
304
00:11:23,343 --> 00:11:24,427
( sighs ) YEAH...
305
00:11:24,511 --> 00:11:27,138
I KNEW ABOUT IT, MR. POTTS.
306
00:11:27,222 --> 00:11:30,225
HOW LONG DID YOU THINK
YOU COULD KEEP IT FROM US?
307
00:11:30,308 --> 00:11:32,268
I MEAN, IF THE GHOST
OF DINO SPUMONI
308
00:11:32,352 --> 00:11:34,020
IS HAUNTING
OUR OWN HOUSE
309
00:11:34,104 --> 00:11:36,064
THAT'S SOMETHING
YOU TELL PEOPLE.
310
00:11:36,147 --> 00:11:36,856
GHOST?
311
00:11:36,940 --> 00:11:37,982
THAT'S RIGHT!
312
00:11:38,066 --> 00:11:39,275
DINO'S GHOST.
313
00:11:39,359 --> 00:11:41,277
UH, THAT'S RIGHT,
I'M A GHOST.
314
00:11:41,361 --> 00:11:43,238
THE, UH, GHOST
OF DINO SPUMONI
315
00:11:43,321 --> 00:11:46,157
NOW THAT I'M A GHOST,
I'M LIVING HERE NOW.
316
00:11:46,241 --> 00:11:47,617
AND IF YOU
DON'T LIKE IT
317
00:11:47,700 --> 00:11:50,078
YOUSE CAN ALL JUST
LUMP IT, CAPISCE?
318
00:11:50,161 --> 00:11:51,329
WE CAPISCE!
319
00:11:51,413 --> 00:11:52,914
Arnold:
THIS IS RIDICULOUS.
320
00:11:52,997 --> 00:11:54,457
THEY THINK YOU'RE A GHOST?
321
00:11:54,541 --> 00:11:55,959
I KNOW, IT'S PERFECT.
322
00:11:56,042 --> 00:11:58,920
I'M A GHOST--
I CAN COME AND GO ANY
TIME I FEEL LIKE IT.
323
00:11:59,003 --> 00:11:59,754
I CAN PLAY MUSIC,
WRITE SONGS
324
00:11:59,838 --> 00:12:02,132
AND MAKE AS MUCH NOISE
AS I WANT
325
00:12:02,215 --> 00:12:03,508
WITHOUT ANYBODY
BOTHERING ME.
326
00:12:03,591 --> 00:12:05,135
BUT IT'S ALL A LIE.
327
00:12:05,218 --> 00:12:06,761
YOU'RE JUST PRETENDING.
328
00:12:06,845 --> 00:12:09,264
WHY DON'T YOU
COME OUT OF HIDING
329
00:12:09,347 --> 00:12:10,640
AND LET EVERYBODY KNOW
YOU'RE STILL ALIVE?
330
00:12:10,723 --> 00:12:12,976
WHAT ARE YOU,
A MAMMALUCCO?
331
00:12:13,059 --> 00:12:13,726
I GOT A GOOD THING
GOING.
332
00:12:13,810 --> 00:12:15,645
WHAT COULD BE
MORE PERFECT?
333
00:12:15,728 --> 00:12:17,230
( piano playing )
334
00:12:17,313 --> 00:12:20,442
Dino:
♪ DOOBY-DOOBY-DOO-WOP... ♪
AW, CRIPES.
335
00:12:20,525 --> 00:12:23,278
THE GHOST OF DINO IS ANGRY.
336
00:12:23,361 --> 00:12:25,280
WE MUST OFFER HIM A BIG FISH
337
00:12:25,363 --> 00:12:26,364
TO MAKE HIM
NOT SO ANGRY.
338
00:12:26,448 --> 00:12:29,325
HIS STOMACH WILL BE FULL
AND HE WILL GO AWAY.
339
00:12:29,409 --> 00:12:31,619
THAT'S THE STUPIDEST IDEA
I EVER HEARD.
340
00:12:31,703 --> 00:12:32,745
LET'S DO IT.
341
00:12:32,829 --> 00:12:35,081
WITH THIS OFFERING OF FISH,
I PRAY
342
00:12:35,165 --> 00:12:40,670
THAT THE GHOST OF DINO WILL FIND
PEACE AND GO TO A BETTER PLACE
343
00:12:40,753 --> 00:12:44,966
AND WE WILL NOT BE HAUNTED
BY HIS ANGRY WRATH.
344
00:12:45,049 --> 00:12:45,800
( gasps )
345
00:12:45,884 --> 00:12:47,343
BOO.
346
00:12:47,427 --> 00:12:49,179
( screaming )
347
00:12:49,262 --> 00:12:51,139
( doors slamming )
348
00:12:51,222 --> 00:12:53,600
THIS IS JUST LIKE THE OLD DAYS
WHEN I WAS STARTING OUT
349
00:12:53,683 --> 00:12:55,602
WRITING SONGS
FOR THE FUN OF IT.
350
00:12:55,685 --> 00:12:57,604
I WAS LIVING HERE
IN THE BOARDINGHOUSE.
351
00:12:57,687 --> 00:13:00,648
I'D WORK ALL DAY AT
MY CONSTRUCTION JOB
352
00:13:00,732 --> 00:13:02,609
COME HOME, IRON MY ONE
GOOD SHIRT, POLISH MY SHOES
353
00:13:02,692 --> 00:13:05,695
PUT ON MY
SECOND-HAND SUIT
354
00:13:05,778 --> 00:13:08,031
GO DOWN AND PLAY
LATE-NIGHT CLUBS
FOR PEANUTS.
355
00:13:08,114 --> 00:13:08,823
SOUNDS GREAT.
356
00:13:08,907 --> 00:13:09,824
GET A LOAD OF THIS.
357
00:13:09,908 --> 00:13:10,825
IT'S BRAND NEW.
358
00:13:10,909 --> 00:13:12,368
♪ BA-BA-BA-DUM ♪
359
00:13:12,452 --> 00:13:15,205
♪ OH, WHEN
THE DUST CLEARS ♪
360
00:13:15,288 --> 00:13:19,250
♪ I'M NOT THE ONE,
BA-BA-DA-DUM ♪
361
00:13:20,919 --> 00:13:23,046
♪ I TOOK MY SHARE OF LUMPS ♪
362
00:13:23,129 --> 00:13:25,757
♪ BA-BA-BA-BA-DA-BA ♪
363
00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:27,550
♪ BUT I'M STILL STANDING ♪
364
00:13:27,634 --> 00:13:30,386
♪ BA-BA-DA-BUM. ♪
365
00:13:30,470 --> 00:13:32,680
THE WORDS ARE SCREWY
BUT THE MELODY SWINGS.
366
00:13:32,764 --> 00:13:34,057
I CAN'T WAIT TO PLAY IT
AT THE PALACE.
367
00:13:34,140 --> 00:13:37,227
YEAH, THAT WOULD BE NICE...
EXCEPT YOU CAN'T.
368
00:13:37,310 --> 00:13:38,895
WHY NOT?
369
00:13:38,978 --> 00:13:39,604
BECAUSE YOU'RE DEAD.
370
00:13:39,687 --> 00:13:41,814
OH, YEAH, I FORGOT.
371
00:13:41,898 --> 00:13:44,817
I GUESS NOBODY
WILL EVER HEAR
THESE SONGS.
372
00:13:44,901 --> 00:13:46,152
AH, WHAT'S
THE DIFFERENCE?
373
00:13:46,236 --> 00:13:48,571
NOBODY WANTED
TO HEAR MY SONGS
WHEN I WAS ALIVE.
374
00:13:48,655 --> 00:13:50,823
WHY WOULD THEY WANT
TO HEAR THEM NOW?
375
00:13:50,907 --> 00:13:51,866
I'LL SEE YOU
AROUND, KID.
376
00:13:53,576 --> 00:13:56,663
GRANDPA,
CAN I TALK TO YOU?
377
00:13:56,746 --> 00:13:58,706
I DON'T KNOW,
CAN YOU?
378
00:13:58,790 --> 00:13:59,666
IT'S ABOUT DINO.
379
00:13:59,749 --> 00:14:01,042
I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO TELL
380
00:14:01,125 --> 00:14:02,335
BUT THE TRUTH IS,
DINO'S NOT REALLY A GHOST.
381
00:14:02,418 --> 00:14:03,878
OH, I KNOW.
382
00:14:03,962 --> 00:14:04,379
YOU KNOW?
383
00:14:04,462 --> 00:14:05,421
OF COURSE.
384
00:14:05,505 --> 00:14:07,799
I MAY BE FEEBLE-MINDED,
BUT I'M NOT STUPID.
385
00:14:07,882 --> 00:14:08,591
HOW DID YOU KNOW?
386
00:14:08,675 --> 00:14:09,717
GHOSTS DON'T TAKE SHOWERS.
387
00:14:09,801 --> 00:14:11,844
THEY TAKE BATHS.
( laughs )
388
00:14:11,928 --> 00:14:14,889
SO IT'S OKAY IF DINO'S
IN THE BOARDINGHOUSE?
389
00:14:14,973 --> 00:14:16,933
DINO'S IN THE BOARDINGHOUSE?
390
00:14:17,016 --> 00:14:19,018
GOOD GRAVY! WE...( laughs )
391
00:14:19,769 --> 00:14:20,603
I'M KIDDING.
392
00:14:20,687 --> 00:14:22,230
ARNOLD, THESE ARE
THE JOKES.
393
00:14:22,313 --> 00:14:23,773
HE'S PRETENDING
TO BE DEAD
394
00:14:23,856 --> 00:14:27,110
BECAUSE HE THINKS
NOBODY CARES ABOUT HIM
OR HIS MUSIC ANYMORE.
395
00:14:27,193 --> 00:14:28,444
I TOLD HIM IT WAS CRAZY
396
00:14:28,528 --> 00:14:29,904
BUT HE WOULDN'T
LISTEN TO ME.
397
00:14:29,988 --> 00:14:30,655
THAT'S BECAUSE HE'S AN IDIOT!
398
00:14:30,738 --> 00:14:32,240
HE'S ACTING LIKE A BIG BABY.
399
00:14:32,323 --> 00:14:35,326
BUT DON'T WORRY, HE JUST NEEDS
TIME TO WORK OUT HIS PROBLEMS.
400
00:14:35,410 --> 00:14:37,328
HE'LL COME AROUND.
401
00:14:37,412 --> 00:14:38,454
I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT.
402
00:14:38,538 --> 00:14:39,539
YOU KNOW,
FOR A NINE-YEAR-OLD
403
00:14:39,622 --> 00:14:42,792
YOU SURE LIKE TAKING ON
THE WEIGHT OF THE WORLD.
404
00:14:42,875 --> 00:14:45,044
YOU OUGHT TO BE
OUT PLAYING.
405
00:14:45,128 --> 00:14:47,255
WHY DON'T YOU GO
PLAY SOME STICKBALL
406
00:14:47,338 --> 00:14:48,298
OR GO SEE A MOVIE?
407
00:14:48,381 --> 00:14:50,425
GRANDPA, IT'S 2:00
IN THE MORNING.
408
00:14:50,508 --> 00:14:53,177
THERE'S ALWAYS A DOWN SIDE
WITH YOU, ISN'T THERE?
409
00:14:53,261 --> 00:14:54,345
( bell ringing )
410
00:14:54,429 --> 00:14:56,097
Rhonda:
IT'S SIMPLY THE HEIGHT
411
00:14:56,180 --> 00:14:57,307
OF MUST-DO.
412
00:14:57,390 --> 00:14:58,641
ARNOLD, HAVE YOU HEARD?
413
00:14:58,725 --> 00:15:01,227
IT'S ONLY THE HOTTEST TICKET
IN TOWN.
414
00:15:01,311 --> 00:15:03,229
EVERYONE WHO'S ANYONE
IS GOING.
415
00:15:03,313 --> 00:15:06,024
Dino:
"DINOMANIA, NOT THE REAL DINO
BUT AN INCREDIBLE SIMULATION.
416
00:15:06,107 --> 00:15:08,651
"YOUNGER AND BETTER-LOOKING
THAN THE ORIGINAL.
417
00:15:08,735 --> 00:15:11,154
NOW PLAYING AT THE ROXY."
418
00:15:11,237 --> 00:15:11,863
WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP.
419
00:15:11,946 --> 00:15:13,948
HE'S GETTING
REALLY BIG.
420
00:15:14,032 --> 00:15:15,491
A LOT OF PEOPLE
ARE GOING.
421
00:15:15,575 --> 00:15:16,743
HE PLAYS
YOUR OLD SONGS
422
00:15:16,826 --> 00:15:18,453
AND DRESSES
AND ACTS LIKE YOU.
423
00:15:18,536 --> 00:15:20,705
HE'S SELLING OUT CONCERTS
AND MAKING RECORDS.
424
00:15:20,788 --> 00:15:22,165
LET HIM TRY. DINOMANIA...
425
00:15:22,248 --> 00:15:24,917
I KNOW THAT BUM--
HE'S A TWO-BIT WEDDING SINGER.
426
00:15:25,001 --> 00:15:28,671
IT WILL NEVER LAST.
THE PUBLIC WILL KNOW
THE DIFFERENCE, TRUST ME.
427
00:15:28,755 --> 00:15:31,090
EVERYBODY! I BOUGHT
TICKETS FOR DINOMANIA!
MY TREAT!
428
00:15:31,174 --> 00:15:34,427
HEY, GREAT!
I'VE BEEN WANTING
TO SEE THAT.
429
00:15:34,510 --> 00:15:36,512
SHH! DON'T TELL THE GHOST.
430
00:15:36,596 --> 00:15:38,973
Announcer:
Not Dino, but an incredible
simulation! Dinomania!
431
00:15:39,057 --> 00:15:42,435
You'll get all the hits,
including "Smashed..."
432
00:15:42,518 --> 00:15:44,103
THAT PUNK! WHERE DOES HE
GET OFF DOING MY ACT?
433
00:15:44,187 --> 00:15:47,023
Ray Doppel,
the star of Dinomania
434
00:15:47,106 --> 00:15:49,692
has become
an overnight sensation
435
00:15:49,776 --> 00:15:51,861
selling out concert halls
436
00:15:51,944 --> 00:15:53,529
making television appearances
437
00:15:53,613 --> 00:15:57,617
and hit records featuring cover
versions of Dino Spumoni songs.
438
00:15:57,700 --> 00:16:00,161
He takes his new role
so seriously
439
00:16:00,244 --> 00:16:03,956
that he prefers to be called
Dino, even when he's not
performing.
440
00:16:04,040 --> 00:16:05,333
Call me Dino.
441
00:16:05,416 --> 00:16:07,710
Reporter:
Amazingly, the new Dino
442
00:16:07,794 --> 00:16:14,300
has even started dating the old
Dino's most recent ex-wife,
Candy Maldonado Spumoni.
443
00:16:14,384 --> 00:16:16,511
He's an incredible
stimulation.
444
00:16:16,594 --> 00:16:20,515
HE'S GOING OUT WITH CANDY...
HE'S IN MY HOUSE...
HE'S WEARING MY APRON!
445
00:16:20,598 --> 00:16:22,225
HE'S PLAYING
WITH MY DOG!
446
00:16:22,308 --> 00:16:22,684
Call me Dino.
447
00:16:22,767 --> 00:16:24,477
THAT'S IT!
448
00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:25,895
WHY DON'T YOU DO
SOMETHING ABOUT IT?
449
00:16:25,978 --> 00:16:27,939
WHAT CAN I DO,
I'M DEAD, REMEMBER?
450
00:16:28,022 --> 00:16:30,983
I'M HISTORY,
A HAS-BEEN, A GHOST!
451
00:16:31,067 --> 00:16:32,235
YOU COULD COME BACK
IF YOU WANTED TO.
452
00:16:32,318 --> 00:16:35,863
WHAT FOR? I GOT A GOOD THING
GOING. WHY MESS IT UP?
453
00:16:35,947 --> 00:16:38,282
YOU'VE GOT A LITTLE ROOM
IN A BOARDINGHOUSE.
454
00:16:38,366 --> 00:16:41,035
THE ONLY PERSON WHO DOESN'T
THINK YOU'RE EITHER DEAD
OR A GHOST IS ME.
455
00:16:41,119 --> 00:16:44,122
LIKE I SAID, I GOT
A GOOD THING GOING.
456
00:16:44,205 --> 00:16:45,206
YOU SAID YOUR OLD LIFE
WAS SO BAD
457
00:16:45,289 --> 00:16:48,584
BUT NOW THAT SOMEBODY ELSE
IS LIVING IT FOR YOU
458
00:16:48,668 --> 00:16:50,420
IT SOUNDS
LIKE YOU'RE JEALOUS.
459
00:16:50,503 --> 00:16:51,254
JEALOUS? YOU'RE CRAZY.
460
00:16:51,337 --> 00:16:53,381
WAS YOUR LIFE REALLY THAT BAD
461
00:16:53,464 --> 00:16:54,841
THAT YOU'RE WILLING TO JUST
462
00:16:54,924 --> 00:16:56,676
GIVE IT ALL UP?
463
00:17:52,273 --> 00:17:54,233
THE PALACE,
AND STEP ON IT.
464
00:17:54,317 --> 00:17:55,443
YOU KNOW SOMETHING?
465
00:17:55,526 --> 00:17:57,695
YOU LOOK JUST LIKE THAT
GENTLEMAN DINO SPUMONI
466
00:17:57,779 --> 00:17:58,946
WHO KICKED THE BUCKET.
467
00:17:59,030 --> 00:18:00,656
HOW ABOUT THAT?
468
00:18:03,534 --> 00:18:05,161
EXCUSE ME, SIR,
WHERE'S YOUR TICKET?
469
00:18:05,244 --> 00:18:08,039
I DON'T NEED A TICKET.
SEE, I'M...
470
00:18:08,122 --> 00:18:09,749
I KNOW,
YOU'RE DINO SPUMONI.
471
00:18:09,832 --> 00:18:10,333
THAT'S RIGHT.
472
00:18:10,416 --> 00:18:11,542
YOU WANT TO PRETEND
473
00:18:11,626 --> 00:18:13,002
YOU'RE DINO SPUMONI,
OKAY
474
00:18:13,085 --> 00:18:14,003
BUT YOU GOT TO
HAVE A TICKET.
475
00:18:14,086 --> 00:18:17,173
OH, NO, SEE,
I'M THE REAL DINO...
476
00:18:17,256 --> 00:18:19,091
GET IN LINE WITH THE OTHER ONES.
477
00:18:19,175 --> 00:18:20,468
WHAT OTHER ONES?
478
00:18:22,804 --> 00:18:24,889
( cheering )
479
00:18:24,972 --> 00:18:25,932
HOW YOU ALL DOING?
480
00:18:26,015 --> 00:18:26,849
I'M DINO SPUMONI
481
00:18:26,933 --> 00:18:29,018
AND I WANT TO WELCOME EVERYBODY
482
00:18:29,101 --> 00:18:30,269
TO MY LITTLE SHINDIG.
483
00:18:30,353 --> 00:18:32,855
YOU KNOW, IN ALL MY YEARS
AS DINO SPUMONI
484
00:18:32,939 --> 00:18:38,194
THE ONE THING THAT'S MEANT
THE MOST TO ME IS THE LOVE
I FEEL FROM MY FANS.
485
00:18:38,277 --> 00:18:42,031
THE WAY YOU'VE ALWAYS ACCEPTED
AND EMBRACED ME, DINO SPUMONI
486
00:18:42,114 --> 00:18:44,992
WELL, I GOT TO TELL YOU,
IT JUST KNOCKS ME OUT.
487
00:18:45,076 --> 00:18:49,747
( cheering )
488
00:18:49,831 --> 00:18:54,210
IN FACT, IF YOU TOOK ALL THE
LOVE THERE IS IN THIS ROOM AND
PUT IT IN A ROCKET SHIP
489
00:18:54,293 --> 00:18:57,964
IT COULD FLY AROUND THE MOON
AND ALL THE WAY BACK
TO THE SOLAR SYSTEM.
490
00:18:58,047 --> 00:19:02,301
OH, BROTHER, IF DINO WERE
ALIVE TO SEE THIS CLOWN,
HE'D GO CRAZY.
491
00:19:03,386 --> 00:19:05,179
DINO, YOU... YOU BIG JERK.
492
00:19:05,263 --> 00:19:09,392
( tearfully ):
OH, I MISS YOU, BUDDY.
493
00:19:09,475 --> 00:19:10,685
WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DIE?!
494
00:19:10,768 --> 00:19:11,644
SHH!
495
00:19:11,727 --> 00:19:12,311
SORRY.
496
00:19:12,395 --> 00:19:14,230
HERE'S A LITTLE NUMBER
497
00:19:14,313 --> 00:19:17,275
THAT I, DINO SPUMONI,
HAVE BEEN SINGING FOR YEARS.
498
00:19:17,358 --> 00:19:20,361
( playing intro... )
499
00:19:26,367 --> 00:19:29,161
♪ YOU BETTER NOT TOUCH MY GAL ♪
500
00:19:29,245 --> 00:19:31,038
♪ OR I'LL POP YOU
IN THE KISSER, PAL ♪
501
00:19:31,122 --> 00:19:34,917
♪ YOU BETTER NOT EVEN TRY ♪
502
00:19:35,001 --> 00:19:38,254
♪ OR YOU'LL BE LOOKING
AT A BIG BLACK EYE ♪
503
00:19:38,337 --> 00:19:41,215
♪ SO LISTEN GOOD,
YOU STUPID HOOD ♪
504
00:19:41,299 --> 00:19:43,926
♪ I'LL GIVE YOU
TILL THE COUNT OF TEN ♪
505
00:19:44,010 --> 00:19:47,763
♪ AND IF YOU'RE NOT GONE
BY THE CRACK OF DAWN ♪
506
00:19:47,847 --> 00:19:52,310
♪ YOU'LL NEVER EAT
SOLID FOOD AGAIN ♪
507
00:19:52,393 --> 00:19:56,272
♪ YOU BETTER NOT TOUCH
MY CHICK ♪
508
00:19:56,355 --> 00:19:58,190
♪ OR I'LL BEAT YOU
WITH A BIG FAT STICK ♪
509
00:19:58,274 --> 00:20:00,359
♪ YOU BETTER NOT NOSE AROUND ♪
510
00:20:00,443 --> 00:20:04,113
♪ OR I'LL BOP YOU
LIKE A POP-UP CLOWN ♪
511
00:20:04,196 --> 00:20:08,200
♪ SO GET THIS STRAIGHT,
YOU RETROBATE ♪
512
00:20:08,284 --> 00:20:10,453
♪ I'LL GIVE YOU
TILL THE COUNT OF TEN ♪
513
00:20:10,536 --> 00:20:12,205
♪ AND IF YOU'RE NOT GONE... ♪
514
00:20:12,288 --> 00:20:14,624
( cracking, creaking )
515
00:20:14,707 --> 00:20:17,877
( yells )
516
00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:19,295
♪ ...BETTER BEAT YOUR FEET ♪
517
00:20:19,378 --> 00:20:21,130
♪ YOU'LL NEVER EAT ♪
518
00:20:21,213 --> 00:20:21,797
♪ SOLID FOO... ♪
519
00:20:21,881 --> 00:20:23,424
( all gasp )
520
00:20:23,507 --> 00:20:25,134
DINO?
521
00:20:25,217 --> 00:20:26,177
( screams )
522
00:20:26,260 --> 00:20:28,512
YOU STOLE MY ACT,
YOU TWO-BIT PUNK!
523
00:20:28,596 --> 00:20:30,139
WHAT DO THINK
YOU'RE DOING?
524
00:20:30,222 --> 00:20:31,098
YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED
TO BE HERE...
525
00:20:31,182 --> 00:20:33,851
YOU'RE DEAD...
AND THIS IS MY CONCERT.
526
00:20:33,935 --> 00:20:35,019
I'M DINO NOW.
527
00:20:35,102 --> 00:20:37,521
IN YOUR DREAMS, YOU FAKE.
528
00:20:40,274 --> 00:20:41,400
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN
529
00:20:41,484 --> 00:20:42,652
I WANT TO APOLOGIZE
530
00:20:42,735 --> 00:20:43,819
FOR THE DISTURBANCE.
531
00:20:43,903 --> 00:20:45,112
UH, THE THING IS...
532
00:20:45,196 --> 00:20:46,155
I'M DINO SPUMONI...
533
00:20:46,238 --> 00:20:47,365
THE REAL DINO.
534
00:20:47,448 --> 00:20:48,491
NOT AN IMPERSONATOR
535
00:20:48,574 --> 00:20:50,284
NOT A SIMULATION,
NOT A GHOST.
536
00:20:50,368 --> 00:20:52,203
HEY, OSKAR,
HE'S NOT DEAD!
537
00:20:52,286 --> 00:20:53,245
I WANT
MY TWO BUCKS BACK!
538
00:20:53,329 --> 00:20:56,040
I KNOW, I KNOW,
IT'S KIND OF A SHOCK
539
00:20:56,123 --> 00:20:58,209
AND I WANT YOUSE ALL TO KNOW
I'M REAL SORRY
540
00:20:58,292 --> 00:21:00,169
ABOUT THAT WHOLE
"I'M DEAD" THING.
541
00:21:00,253 --> 00:21:02,046
IT WAS A COCKAMAMIE PLAN I HAD
THAT DIDN'T WORK OUT.
542
00:21:02,129 --> 00:21:04,590
IT TOOK A GOOD FRIEND OF MINE
543
00:21:04,674 --> 00:21:06,926
A KID NAMED ARNOLD,
TO MAKE ME SEE
544
00:21:07,009 --> 00:21:09,345
HOW STUPID I WAS TO THROW AWAY
A LIFE AND CAREER
545
00:21:09,428 --> 00:21:11,973
JUST BECAUSE I WAS GOING
THROUGH A ROUGH PATCH.
546
00:21:12,056 --> 00:21:13,432
ANYWAY, THAT'S ALL OVER
AND I'M BACK...
547
00:21:13,516 --> 00:21:16,644
THAT IS, IF ANYONE
STILL WANTS ME BACK
548
00:21:16,727 --> 00:21:17,770
AFTER WHAT I DID.
549
00:21:17,853 --> 00:21:22,608
( audience murmuring )
550
00:21:22,692 --> 00:21:25,361
( one person applauding )
551
00:21:27,655 --> 00:21:33,452
( applause builds... )
552
00:21:33,536 --> 00:21:34,954
THANK YOU.
553
00:21:35,037 --> 00:21:36,706
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
554
00:21:36,789 --> 00:21:38,249
WELL, YOUSE ALL CAME
TO SEE A SHOW
555
00:21:38,332 --> 00:21:40,710
AND SEEING AS HOW I JUST
K.O.'d THE HEADLINER
556
00:21:40,793 --> 00:21:41,877
MAYBE I COULD FILL IN.
557
00:21:41,961 --> 00:21:43,462
I MEAN, I MAY NOT BE DINOMANIA
558
00:21:43,546 --> 00:21:45,131
BUT I AM
AN INCREDIBLE SIMULATION.
559
00:21:45,214 --> 00:21:47,091
THIS HERE'S
A NEW SONG
560
00:21:47,174 --> 00:21:48,259
ABOUT THE OLD DAYS.
561
00:21:48,342 --> 00:21:50,469
DAYS WHEN I WAS
JUST STARTING OUT.
562
00:21:50,553 --> 00:21:52,847
THE DAYS BEFORE I SOLD OUT
563
00:21:52,930 --> 00:21:53,848
AND BECAME
A BIG FAT JOKE.
564
00:21:53,931 --> 00:21:56,642
THE DAYS WHEN I USED TO
REALLY SWING.
565
00:21:56,726 --> 00:22:00,187
TONY, GIVE ME A "C"
AND STICK WITH ME, BABY,
BECAUSE WE'RE GOING PLACES.
566
00:22:00,271 --> 00:22:02,565
♪ ROUND ONE, I WAS STRONG ♪
567
00:22:02,648 --> 00:22:04,400
♪ THIS RIGHT, NEVER WRONG ♪
568
00:22:04,483 --> 00:22:10,531
♪ OH, I WAS
THE NUMBER ONE CONTENDER ♪
569
00:22:10,614 --> 00:22:15,244
♪ ROUND FIVE, IN A CRUNCH,
SLIPPED A JAB, TOOK A PUNCH ♪
570
00:22:15,327 --> 00:22:20,583
♪ BUT I NEVER BOWED
TO THOSE PRETENDERS... ♪
571
00:22:20,666 --> 00:22:20,666
( cheering )
572
00:22:20,666 --> 00:22:22,610
♪ DON'T COUNT ME OUT ♪
573
00:22:22,610 --> 00:22:22,610
( cheering )
574
00:22:22,610 --> 00:22:22,626
♪ DON'T COUNT ME OUT ♪
575
00:22:22,710 --> 00:22:25,546
♪ 'CAUSE WHEN THE DUST CLEARS ♪
576
00:22:25,629 --> 00:22:29,800
♪ IT WON'T BE ME
THEY'RE DRAGGING OUT... POW! ♪
577
00:22:29,884 --> 00:22:34,055
♪ I TOOK MY SHARE OF LUMPS FROM
ALL THOSE LOUSY TWO-BIT CHUMPS ♪
578
00:22:34,138 --> 00:22:38,267
♪ BUT I'M STILL STANDING ♪
579
00:22:38,350 --> 00:22:41,729
♪ DON'T COUNT ME OUT. ♪
580
00:22:41,812 --> 00:22:44,356
( cheering and applause )
581
00:22:48,778 --> 00:22:52,281
[Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
582
00:22:52,364 --> 00:22:54,825
and NICKELODEON]
42519
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