All language subtitles for Hey Arnold S04E18 - Helga On The Couch (1080p)

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,078 --> 00:00:01,078 ████████████████████████████████ 2 00:00:01,078 --> 00:00:02,955 Helga: ARNOLD! 3 00:00:03,038 --> 00:00:04,581 ( barking ) 4 00:00:05,541 --> 00:00:06,917 HEY, ARNOLD! 5 00:00:11,714 --> 00:00:13,298 ( glass shatters ) 6 00:00:17,594 --> 00:00:18,554 ( girl shrieks ) 7 00:00:18,637 --> 00:00:20,681 Helga: HEY, ARNOLD! 8 00:00:21,515 --> 00:00:23,809 ARNOLD! 9 00:00:24,560 --> 00:00:26,645 ARNOLD! 10 00:00:27,396 --> 00:00:29,773 ARNOLD! 11 00:00:29,857 --> 00:00:33,986 [Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION 12 00:00:34,069 --> 00:00:35,112 and NICKELODEON] 13 00:00:37,573 --> 00:00:39,283 AR-NOLD! 14 00:00:40,659 --> 00:00:42,619 MOVE IT, FOOTBALL HEAD! 15 00:00:42,703 --> 00:00:43,036 Kids: HEY, ARNOLD! 16 00:01:04,600 --> 00:01:06,727 ( bell ringing ) 17 00:01:06,810 --> 00:01:08,604 ( knock on door ) 18 00:01:08,687 --> 00:01:09,855 COME IN. 19 00:01:09,938 --> 00:01:10,522 PRINCIPAL WARTZ? 20 00:01:10,606 --> 00:01:11,857 I'M DR. BLISS. 21 00:01:11,940 --> 00:01:14,610 OH, DR. BLISS. I'M PRINCIPAL WARTZ. 22 00:01:14,693 --> 00:01:15,778 WELCOME TO P.S.118. 23 00:01:15,861 --> 00:01:16,528 THANK YOU. 24 00:01:16,612 --> 00:01:17,362 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 25 00:01:17,446 --> 00:01:18,197 NOTHING. 26 00:01:18,280 --> 00:01:18,781 SO, DR. BLISS... 27 00:01:18,864 --> 00:01:19,865 THE SCHOOL DISTRICT 28 00:01:19,948 --> 00:01:22,826 IS SENDING US A CHILD PSYCHOLOGIST 29 00:01:22,910 --> 00:01:25,162 ON TUESDAYS AND THURSDAYS AFTER SCHOOL. 30 00:01:25,245 --> 00:01:26,163 VERY NICE OF THEM. 31 00:01:26,246 --> 00:01:27,873 WHY ARE YOU DOING HERE AT 8:15? 32 00:01:27,956 --> 00:01:29,333 WORKING ON MY PROFILE OF YOU. 33 00:01:29,416 --> 00:01:31,001 WHAT? 34 00:01:31,084 --> 00:01:31,752 ( chuckles ) 35 00:01:31,835 --> 00:01:32,503 I'M KIDDING. 36 00:01:32,586 --> 00:01:35,047 I JUST THOUGHT I'D COME EARLY. 37 00:01:35,130 --> 00:01:37,883 YOU KNOW, SPEND THE DAY OBSERVING YOUR STUDENTS. 38 00:01:37,966 --> 00:01:40,260 VERY WELL, DOCTOR, MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME. 39 00:01:40,344 --> 00:01:44,681 BUT I REALLY DON'T THINK YOU'LL FIND MUCH THAT WOULD INTEREST A PSYCHOLOGIST. 40 00:01:44,765 --> 00:01:45,766 OH, WHY NOT? 41 00:01:45,849 --> 00:01:46,934 BECAUSE, DOCTOR 42 00:01:47,017 --> 00:01:48,018 UNLIKE P.S.117 AND P.S.119 43 00:01:48,101 --> 00:01:52,606 P.S.118 IS THE PICTURE OF MENTAL HEALTH. 44 00:01:53,690 --> 00:01:56,527 OUT OF MY WAY, GEEK BAIT! 45 00:01:56,610 --> 00:01:58,445 Wartz: WELL, HAPPY HUNTING, DR. BLISS. 46 00:01:58,529 --> 00:01:59,238 THANK YOU. 47 00:01:59,321 --> 00:02:01,156 ONE SIDE, MORON! I'M WALKING HERE! 48 00:02:03,242 --> 00:02:05,118 WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT? 49 00:02:07,079 --> 00:02:08,205 ( Harold laughing ) 50 00:02:12,626 --> 00:02:13,377 OHAYOU-GOZAIMASU, HELGA. 51 00:02:13,460 --> 00:02:15,587 NO JAPANESE THIS MORNING, PHOEBE. 52 00:02:15,671 --> 00:02:16,630 I HAVE A HEADACHE. 53 00:02:16,713 --> 00:02:19,049 OH, OKAY... ENGLISH. 54 00:02:19,132 --> 00:02:20,300 OH, YES, YES, WELL... 55 00:02:20,384 --> 00:02:20,884 HEY, WHO'S THE SKIRT? 56 00:02:20,968 --> 00:02:22,886 CLASS, SETTLE DOWN... 57 00:02:22,970 --> 00:02:24,429 LISTENING EARS. 58 00:02:24,513 --> 00:02:25,973 TODAY WE HAVE A VERY SPECIAL GUEST. 59 00:02:26,056 --> 00:02:29,935 OUR SCHOOL DISTRICT PSYCHOLOGIST, DR. BLISS. 60 00:02:30,018 --> 00:02:31,728 WHOOP-DE-DOO, THE SCHOOL SHRINK. 61 00:02:31,812 --> 00:02:33,230 I'VE GOT NOTHING TO HIDE. 62 00:02:33,313 --> 00:02:38,902 DR. BLISS IS OUT IN THE FIELD TODAY OBSERVING OUR CLASSES 63 00:02:38,986 --> 00:02:41,238 AND SHE HAS RANDOMLY CHOSEN 64 00:02:41,321 --> 00:02:44,116 TO OBSERVE US... US MEANING THE STUDENTS, I'M SURE 65 00:02:44,199 --> 00:02:46,994 NOT THE TEACHERS, AM I RIGHT, DR. BLISS? 66 00:02:47,077 --> 00:02:48,787 JUST BE YOUR OWN SPECIAL SELVES 67 00:02:48,871 --> 00:02:51,415 AS IF NOTHING IS HAPPENING. 68 00:02:51,498 --> 00:02:53,041 THAT'S EASY. 69 00:02:54,543 --> 00:02:57,045 WHAT? 70 00:03:11,685 --> 00:03:13,103 WHAT? 71 00:03:13,186 --> 00:03:16,565 WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT, FOOTBALL HEAD? 72 00:03:16,648 --> 00:03:17,357 ( bell rings ) 73 00:03:19,568 --> 00:03:20,736 UGH... 74 00:03:23,530 --> 00:03:26,116 PHOEBE, GO SAVE MY FOURSQUARE COURT 75 00:03:26,199 --> 00:03:27,326 IF HAROLD TAKES IT 76 00:03:27,409 --> 00:03:30,287 TELL HIM I'LL PULL HIS APPENDIX OUT. 77 00:03:30,370 --> 00:03:30,412 SAVING. 78 00:03:33,874 --> 00:03:35,667 HUH... ARNOLD. 79 00:03:35,751 --> 00:03:36,126 WHAT A NERD. 80 00:03:36,209 --> 00:03:37,628 WHAT A GOOF. 81 00:03:37,711 --> 00:03:39,630 WHAT A TINY-HATTED LITTLE CREEP. 82 00:03:39,713 --> 00:03:41,173 HOW I HATE HIM. 83 00:03:41,256 --> 00:03:43,634 AND YET... 84 00:03:43,717 --> 00:03:45,344 I LOVE HIM. 85 00:03:45,427 --> 00:03:51,224 OH, ARNOLD, BASTION OF SANITY IN THIS CRAZY, MIXED-UP WORLD IN WHICH WE LIVE... 86 00:03:51,308 --> 00:03:53,852 HOW TENDER I FEEL WHEN YOU BRUSH PAST ME... 87 00:03:53,936 --> 00:03:55,687 HOW I FORGET MY CARES... 88 00:03:55,771 --> 00:03:59,316 HOW THE ESSENCE OF YOU LINGERS SWEETLY IN THE AIR 89 00:03:59,399 --> 00:03:59,900 AND I FEEL PEACE... 90 00:03:59,983 --> 00:04:03,320 TRUE PEACE AT LAST. 91 00:04:03,403 --> 00:04:04,279 OH... 92 00:04:04,363 --> 00:04:05,572 ( nasal breathing ) 93 00:04:05,656 --> 00:04:06,740 HI... 94 00:04:08,951 --> 00:04:10,827 ( gasps ) OH, MY... 95 00:04:11,912 --> 00:04:14,373 Helga: OKAY, I HIT HIM. 96 00:04:14,456 --> 00:04:15,540 SO WHAT? 97 00:04:15,624 --> 00:04:17,209 MISS PATAKI, STRIKING ANOTHER STUDENT 98 00:04:17,292 --> 00:04:20,712 IS A DIRECT VIOLATION OF SCHOOL POLICY. 99 00:04:20,796 --> 00:04:22,381 BRAINY? HE DOESN'T MIND. 100 00:04:22,464 --> 00:04:23,882 I DO IT ALL THE TIME. 101 00:04:24,925 --> 00:04:26,051 YOU'D SOCK HIM, TOO 102 00:04:26,134 --> 00:04:28,345 IF HE WAS BEHIND YOU, BREATHING... 103 00:04:28,428 --> 00:04:28,971 BREATHING? 104 00:04:29,054 --> 00:04:30,263 YES, BREATHING. 105 00:04:30,347 --> 00:04:31,431 YOUNG LADY, THAT IS QUITE ENOUGH. 106 00:04:31,515 --> 00:04:35,686 WHEN I WELCOMED DR. BLISS TO ROAM THE HALLS OF P.S.118 107 00:04:35,769 --> 00:04:39,690 I NEVER IMAGINED THAT SHE WOULD FIND A CANDIDATE FOR TREATMENT BEFORE LUNCH TIME. 108 00:04:39,773 --> 00:04:41,400 TREATMENT? 109 00:04:41,483 --> 00:04:42,526 HELGA, I RECOMMEND 110 00:04:42,609 --> 00:04:43,777 WE MEET AFTER SCHOOL AT MY OFFICE... 111 00:04:43,860 --> 00:04:46,196 TO PUNISH YOU SOUNDLY 112 00:04:46,280 --> 00:04:49,700 FOR YOUR BLATANTLY INSOUCIANT ACTS OF JUVENILE DELINQUENCY. 113 00:04:49,783 --> 00:04:50,784 PRINCIPAL WARTZ, PLEASE, SIT DOWN. 114 00:04:50,867 --> 00:04:52,786 MAY I HANDLE THIS? 115 00:04:52,869 --> 00:04:53,870 YES, FINE, FINE, OF COURSE. 116 00:04:53,954 --> 00:04:56,540 TAKE IT AWAY... DOCTOR. 117 00:04:56,623 --> 00:04:57,749 ( humming... ) 118 00:05:01,128 --> 00:05:03,130 HELGA, THE POINT ISN'T TO PUNISH YOU, THE POINT IS 119 00:05:03,213 --> 00:05:06,383 TO DISCUSS THESE ANTISOCIAL TENDENCIES 120 00:05:06,466 --> 00:05:08,969 AND EXAMINE POSSIBLE STRATEGIES FOR IMPROVEMENT. 121 00:05:09,052 --> 00:05:10,095 I THINK YOUR BEHAVIOR 122 00:05:10,178 --> 00:05:13,348 MAY BE COVERING UP OTHER IMPORTANT ISSUES. 123 00:05:13,432 --> 00:05:16,226 I WANT TO TRY TO GET TO THE ROOT OF THE MATTER. 124 00:05:16,309 --> 00:05:19,521 MAYBE UNCOVER SOME EMOTIONS YOU MAY BE HIDING. 125 00:05:20,731 --> 00:05:23,608 H-HIDING? 126 00:05:26,111 --> 00:05:28,071 ...THINKS I'M CRAZY, HIDING SOMETHING. 127 00:05:28,155 --> 00:05:31,283 IT'S OKAY, HELGA, OLD GIRL, YOU, YOU CAN DO IT. 128 00:05:31,366 --> 00:05:33,618 YOU'RE NOT NUTS... 129 00:05:33,702 --> 00:05:35,579 ( groans ) 130 00:05:35,662 --> 00:05:38,415 Multiple voices: HEY, HELGA, HOW'S IT GOING? 131 00:05:38,498 --> 00:05:39,416 OH! 132 00:05:39,499 --> 00:05:40,584 WHERE YOU GOING? 133 00:05:40,667 --> 00:05:41,585 ( screams ) 134 00:05:41,668 --> 00:05:43,670 Bob: THERAPY?! 135 00:05:43,754 --> 00:05:46,256 AW, THIS NEVER WOULD HAVE HAPPENED TO OLGA. 136 00:05:46,340 --> 00:05:48,592 LOOK, IS THIS GOING TO COST ME ANYTHING? 137 00:05:48,675 --> 00:05:49,760 GOOD. 138 00:05:49,843 --> 00:05:51,595 HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, MISSY. 139 00:05:51,678 --> 00:05:53,722 REPORT TO THE TROPHY ROOM, PRONTO. 140 00:05:53,805 --> 00:05:56,224 WE DIDN'T HAVE THERAPY WHEN I WAS A KID. 141 00:05:56,308 --> 00:05:57,559 THAT'S OBVIOUS, BOB. 142 00:05:57,642 --> 00:05:59,144 I DON'T WANT YOU BLABBING TO SOME SCHOOL SHRINK. 143 00:05:59,227 --> 00:06:00,937 WE PATAKIS DON'T TALK ABOUT THINGS. 144 00:06:01,021 --> 00:06:03,315 WE SWEEP THEM UNDER THE RUG. 145 00:06:03,398 --> 00:06:05,734 SOME THINGS ARE BEST SWEPT UNDER THE RUG. 146 00:06:05,817 --> 00:06:08,487 DON'T BLAB ANYTHING OR THEY'LL GIVE US ALL 147 00:06:08,570 --> 00:06:11,782 A ONE-WAY TICKET TO THE FUNNY FARM. YOU GOT IT?! 148 00:06:11,865 --> 00:06:13,116 I GOT IT, DAD. 149 00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:15,660 THIS NEVER HAPPENED TO OLGA. 150 00:06:15,744 --> 00:06:16,286 OH, NO, I KNOW, BABY. 151 00:06:16,369 --> 00:06:16,953 Helga: "I WANT GET 152 00:06:17,037 --> 00:06:19,456 "TO THE ROOT OF THE MATTER. 153 00:06:19,539 --> 00:06:21,458 "MAYBE UNCOVER SOME EMOTIONS 154 00:06:21,541 --> 00:06:23,627 YOU MAY BE HIDING." ( spits ) 155 00:06:23,710 --> 00:06:24,836 WHAT A DISASTER. 156 00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:26,463 WELL, I DON'T CARE HOW SMART SHE IS. 157 00:06:26,546 --> 00:06:31,259 NO STINKING SHRINK IS GOING TO MAKE ME GIVE UP MY DEEPEST, DARKEST SECRET. 158 00:06:31,343 --> 00:06:33,011 MY LOVE FOR ARNOLD. 159 00:06:33,095 --> 00:06:36,431 ( drumming and chanting... ) 160 00:06:38,642 --> 00:06:42,813 OH, ARNOLD, I CALL ON THE POWER OF THY SACRED SHRINE. 161 00:06:42,896 --> 00:06:47,734 GIVE ME THE STRENGTH AND ANIMAL CUNNING TO OUTWIT THE SCHOOL SHRINK! 162 00:06:47,818 --> 00:06:48,735 AAH...! 163 00:06:48,819 --> 00:06:51,738 OOF! 164 00:06:51,822 --> 00:06:53,281 Miriam: HELGA? 165 00:06:53,365 --> 00:06:54,699 WE HEARD A CRASH. 166 00:06:54,783 --> 00:06:55,826 ARE YOU ALL RIGHT, HONEY? 167 00:06:55,909 --> 00:06:58,120 OF COURSE. 168 00:06:58,203 --> 00:06:59,663 I WAS JUST... 169 00:06:59,746 --> 00:07:00,914 GETTING READY FOR BED. 170 00:07:00,997 --> 00:07:02,541 OH, OKAY. 171 00:07:02,624 --> 00:07:03,166 WELL, SLEEP WELL. 172 00:07:03,250 --> 00:07:06,878 YEESH! WHAT A NUT JOB. 173 00:07:06,962 --> 00:07:08,839 I NEED A SMOOTHIE. 174 00:07:18,098 --> 00:07:18,849 HELLO, HELGA. 175 00:07:18,932 --> 00:07:20,183 HUH?! 176 00:07:20,267 --> 00:07:22,310 ARE YOU WEARING A DISGUISE BECAUSE YOU'RE 177 00:07:22,394 --> 00:07:24,646 EMBARRASSED ABOUT VISITING DR. BLISS? 178 00:07:24,729 --> 00:07:27,440 IN THIS DAY AND AGE, THERAPY'S PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE AND QUITE USEFUL. 179 00:07:27,524 --> 00:07:31,528 THERE'S NOTHING AT ALL TO BE ASHAMED OR NERVOUS ABOUT. 180 00:07:31,611 --> 00:07:33,113 NERVOUS? ARE YOU KIDDING? 181 00:07:33,196 --> 00:07:34,906 I'LL JUST MAKE UP STORIES FOR AN HOUR. 182 00:07:34,990 --> 00:07:36,992 SHE WON'T EVEN GET A WORD IN EDGEWISE. 183 00:07:37,075 --> 00:07:38,994 IT WILL BE A SNAP. 184 00:07:39,077 --> 00:07:40,203 ( phone ringing ) 185 00:07:40,287 --> 00:07:42,414 Woman: HELLO, DOCTORS' OFFICE. 186 00:07:42,497 --> 00:07:44,040 ( knock on door ) 187 00:07:44,124 --> 00:07:46,793 HELGA, COME IN. 188 00:07:46,877 --> 00:07:47,752 HOW HAVE YOU BEEN? 189 00:07:47,836 --> 00:07:49,212 YOU MEAN SINCE YESTERDAY? 190 00:07:49,296 --> 00:07:50,589 NO NEED TO BE HOSTILE. 191 00:07:50,672 --> 00:07:52,132 I'M NOT HOSTILE! 192 00:07:52,215 --> 00:07:53,884 SO, YOU'RE A CHILD PSYCHOLOGIST? 193 00:07:53,967 --> 00:07:55,135 DOES THAT MEAN YOU WEREN'T GOOD ENOUGH 194 00:07:55,218 --> 00:07:57,679 TO BE A GROWNUP PSYCHOLOGIST? 195 00:07:57,762 --> 00:07:58,680 NO, I CHOSE CHILD PSYCHOLOGY 196 00:07:58,763 --> 00:08:01,057 BECAUSE I'M INTERESTED IN HELPING CHILDREN. 197 00:08:01,141 --> 00:08:02,976 WELL, WHOOP-DEE-DOO, DOC. 198 00:08:03,059 --> 00:08:03,977 YOU SEEM ANGRY. 199 00:08:04,060 --> 00:08:06,855 I AM NOT ANGRY. 200 00:08:06,938 --> 00:08:07,355 HELGA, YOU'RE HERE... 201 00:08:07,439 --> 00:08:08,064 "TO DISCUSS THESE 202 00:08:08,148 --> 00:08:09,649 "ANTISOCIAL TENDENCIES 203 00:08:09,733 --> 00:08:14,613 AND EXAMINE POSSIBLE STRATEGIES FOR IMPROVEMENT." RIGHT. 204 00:08:14,696 --> 00:08:14,696 WELL, LET THE HEALING BEGIN. 205 00:08:14,696 --> 00:08:16,823 ALL RIGHT. 206 00:08:16,907 --> 00:08:16,907 DID YOU READ ALL THOSE BOOKS? 207 00:08:16,907 --> 00:08:19,075 MOST OF THEM. 208 00:08:19,159 --> 00:08:19,159 YOU WRITE ANY OF THEM? 209 00:08:19,159 --> 00:08:20,044 NO. 210 00:08:20,044 --> 00:08:20,044 YOU WRITE ANY OF THEM? 211 00:08:20,044 --> 00:08:20,952 NO. 212 00:08:21,036 --> 00:08:21,036 HOW MANY BOOKS DO YOU HAVE TO READ TO BE A SHRINK? 213 00:08:21,036 --> 00:08:24,122 A LOT. 214 00:08:24,206 --> 00:08:25,916 SO ARE YOU AN ACTUAL DOCTOR? 215 00:08:25,999 --> 00:08:26,666 IF I HAD A HEART ATTACK 216 00:08:26,750 --> 00:08:29,085 COULD YOU DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT? 217 00:08:29,169 --> 00:08:30,712 THERE'S A HEART CLINIC UPSTAIRS. 218 00:08:30,795 --> 00:08:32,422 THIS IS A GOOD PLACE TO HAVE ONE. 219 00:08:32,505 --> 00:08:35,592 NICE PICTURE. YOU LIKE EDWARD HOPPER? 220 00:08:35,675 --> 00:08:36,259 I DO. 221 00:08:36,343 --> 00:08:36,968 HE'S OKAY. 222 00:08:37,052 --> 00:08:37,677 A LITTLE SIMPLE. 223 00:08:37,761 --> 00:08:39,471 WHAT'S HIS DEAL WITH WOMEN? 224 00:08:39,554 --> 00:08:41,598 THAT'S PRETTY ASTUTE FOR A FOURTH GRADER. 225 00:08:41,681 --> 00:08:43,850 I NOTICE YOU'RE ASKING ALL THE QUESTIONS. 226 00:08:43,934 --> 00:08:44,309 THAT A PROBLEM? 227 00:08:44,392 --> 00:08:45,393 NO, ASK AWAY. 228 00:08:45,477 --> 00:08:48,772 GREAT. THEN HOW ABOUT I SIT IN THE BIG CHAIR 229 00:08:48,855 --> 00:08:49,522 AND YOU SIT ON THE COUCH? 230 00:08:49,606 --> 00:08:51,775 I DON'T SEE ANY HARM IN THAT. 231 00:08:51,858 --> 00:08:53,944 SO, WHAT WERE YOU LIKE AS A CHILD? 232 00:08:54,027 --> 00:08:55,904 I LIKED ANIMALS. 233 00:08:55,987 --> 00:08:57,030 WE HAD AN ANIMAL CLUB. 234 00:08:57,113 --> 00:08:58,490 WE DREW PICTURES OF THEM. 235 00:08:58,573 --> 00:09:00,492 I LIKED GIRAFFES AND KILLER WHALES. 236 00:09:00,575 --> 00:09:01,117 I LIKED JUMP-ROPE. 237 00:09:01,201 --> 00:09:03,870 WHAT RHYMES DO YOU KNOW? 238 00:09:03,954 --> 00:09:07,207 OH, WALKING THE DOG, LINCOLN, LINCOLN, HARBOR STREET... 239 00:09:07,290 --> 00:09:08,208 HARBOR STREET? 240 00:09:08,291 --> 00:09:09,918 Both: WHEN THEY GET IN FIGHTS 241 00:09:10,001 --> 00:09:11,169 THIS IS WHAT THEY SAY. 242 00:09:11,253 --> 00:09:13,463 BOYS ARE ROTTEN, MADE OUT OF COTTON. 243 00:09:13,546 --> 00:09:17,259 GIRLS ARE SASSY, MADE FROM MOLASSY. 244 00:09:17,342 --> 00:09:19,844 BOYS GO TO JUPITER TO GET MORE STUPIDER 245 00:09:19,928 --> 00:09:22,806 GIRLS GO TO COLLEGE TO GET MORE KNOWLEDGE. 246 00:09:22,889 --> 00:09:24,349 ...AND MY SISTER KEPT IT. 247 00:09:24,432 --> 00:09:26,643 SHE SAID, "YOU'D JUST BREAK IT." 248 00:09:26,726 --> 00:09:27,769 I WAS SO MAD 249 00:09:27,852 --> 00:09:30,313 I BROKE IT WHEN SHE WAS SLEEPING. 250 00:09:30,397 --> 00:09:31,898 YOU THINK THAT'S ANNOYING. 251 00:09:31,982 --> 00:09:33,984 TRY HAVING A SISTER THAT'S PERFECT. 252 00:09:34,067 --> 00:09:34,818 WHAT DO YOU MEAN PERFECT? 253 00:09:34,901 --> 00:09:37,279 SHE GETS STRAIGHT "A"s AT COLLEGE 254 00:09:37,362 --> 00:09:39,322 ALL THE BOYS WANT TO GO OUT WITH HER 255 00:09:39,406 --> 00:09:41,741 BUT SHE STAYS HOME TO PRACTICE THE PIANO 256 00:09:41,825 --> 00:09:45,620 FOR THE BRANDENBURG CONCERTO SHE'S GIVING AT THE ORPHANAGE THIS WEEKEND. 257 00:09:45,704 --> 00:09:47,789 AND MOM AND DAD CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF HER. 258 00:09:47,872 --> 00:09:51,459 LAST TIME SHE WAS HOME, I WAS GOING OUT OF MY MIND. 259 00:09:51,543 --> 00:09:51,543 ( sit-com applause ) 260 00:09:51,543 --> 00:09:53,461 GOOD MORNING. 261 00:09:53,545 --> 00:09:56,339 WHO WANTS SOME MORE FRESHLY MADE SUMATRAN DRIP COFFEE? 262 00:09:56,423 --> 00:09:58,174 I'LL HAVE MORE, IF YOU MADE IT. 263 00:09:58,258 --> 00:09:59,843 WHEN DID YOU WAKE UP, HONEY? 264 00:09:59,926 --> 00:10:01,344 OH, HOURS AGO. 265 00:10:01,428 --> 00:10:03,346 I WENT DOWN TO THE CORNER GROCER'S 266 00:10:03,430 --> 00:10:05,807 FOR BREAKFAST INGREDIENTS. 267 00:10:05,890 --> 00:10:06,683 I'M BAKING A LEMON SOUFFLE. 268 00:10:06,766 --> 00:10:09,185 ( laughs ) OH, OLGA, IT'S GREAT 269 00:10:09,269 --> 00:10:10,937 TO HAVE YOU IN THE KITCHEN AGAIN. 270 00:10:11,021 --> 00:10:13,523 I'LL HAVE TO PUT ANOTHER NOTCH IN MY LUCKY BELT. 271 00:10:13,606 --> 00:10:15,859 YOU SURE SPOIL US WHEN YOU'RE HOME, HONEY. 272 00:10:15,942 --> 00:10:17,360 YOU SURE DO. 273 00:10:17,444 --> 00:10:18,361 ( all laugh ) 274 00:10:18,445 --> 00:10:18,862 ( sit-com applause ) 275 00:10:18,945 --> 00:10:21,031 MOM! 276 00:10:21,114 --> 00:10:22,866 DID YOU PICK UP MY WINTER COAT 277 00:10:22,949 --> 00:10:24,034 FROM THE CLEANERS? 278 00:10:24,117 --> 00:10:25,118 WHAT... OH, HELGA, I FORGOT. 279 00:10:25,201 --> 00:10:26,578 ALL THE EXCITEMENT. 280 00:10:26,661 --> 00:10:30,582 YOUR SISTER BEING HOME FROM... ALASKA. 281 00:10:30,665 --> 00:10:34,294 BUT DON'T WORRY-- THE WEATHER MAN SAID IT SHOULD STAY ABOVE FREEZING 282 00:10:34,377 --> 00:10:35,879 FOR MOST OF THE DAY. 283 00:10:35,962 --> 00:10:40,383 Bob: SPEAKING OF ALASKA, OLGA, TELL US ALL ABOUT IT. 284 00:10:40,467 --> 00:10:42,635 START ALL OVER AGAIN FROM THE BEGINNING. 285 00:10:42,719 --> 00:10:46,389 OH, IT WAS SO WONDERFUL, DADDY. 286 00:10:46,473 --> 00:10:49,059 THE PRIMEVAL FORESTS... 287 00:10:49,142 --> 00:10:51,186 THE STREAMS CHOKED WITH MIGRATING SALMON... 288 00:10:51,269 --> 00:10:52,270 LES GLACIERS... 289 00:10:52,354 --> 00:10:55,398 THE TOWERING PEAK OF McKINLEY... 290 00:10:55,482 --> 00:10:57,609 I'M GOING TO SCHOOL NOW. 291 00:10:57,692 --> 00:10:59,861 ( Bob and Miriam laugh ) 292 00:11:01,821 --> 00:11:05,158 Helga: NOBODY IN MY HOUSE EVEN KNOWS I EXIST. 293 00:11:05,241 --> 00:11:07,077 THEY NEVER LISTEN TO ME. 294 00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:10,455 I THINK I'D GO CRAZY IF IT WASN'T FOR ARNO... 295 00:11:11,539 --> 00:11:13,083 ARNO... 296 00:11:13,833 --> 00:11:14,709 ARE NO... 297 00:11:14,793 --> 00:11:15,794 AIR CONDITIONERS 298 00:11:15,877 --> 00:11:17,420 WORKING IN THIS ENTIRE BUILDING?! 299 00:11:17,504 --> 00:11:18,213 IT MUST BE 90 DEGREES IN HERE! 300 00:11:18,296 --> 00:11:20,924 THEN I'LL TURN ON A FAN. 301 00:11:21,007 --> 00:11:23,093 NO, I'M ACTUALLY ALL TALKED OUT. 302 00:11:23,176 --> 00:11:24,594 HELGA, THERE ARE 49 MINUTES 303 00:11:24,677 --> 00:11:26,679 LEFT IN THE SESSION. RELAX. 304 00:11:26,763 --> 00:11:27,639 SIT DOWN. 305 00:11:27,722 --> 00:11:28,807 FORGET IT, DOC. 306 00:11:28,890 --> 00:11:29,974 I'M ON TO YOU. 307 00:11:30,058 --> 00:11:31,684 YOU THINK IF YOU HANG OUT WITH ME 308 00:11:31,768 --> 00:11:33,144 AND TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF 309 00:11:33,228 --> 00:11:34,479 I'M GOING TO GET ALL GUSHY 310 00:11:34,562 --> 00:11:35,939 AND SAY ANYTHING YOU WANT. 311 00:11:36,022 --> 00:11:38,608 WELL, IT'S NOT GOING TO BE THAT EASY, SISTER. 312 00:11:38,691 --> 00:11:40,985 OKAY, HELGA, WE DON'T HAVE TO TALK ABOUT YOUR FAMILY. 313 00:11:41,069 --> 00:11:45,031 WE CAN TALK ABOUT THE WEATHER, OR SPORTS OR YOUR CLASSMATES. 314 00:11:45,115 --> 00:11:47,242 WE CAN... TALK ABOUT ARNOLD. 315 00:11:47,325 --> 00:11:47,909 ARNOLD?! 316 00:11:52,372 --> 00:11:53,998 Bliss: WE CAN TALK ABOUT ARNOLD. 317 00:11:54,082 --> 00:11:55,375 ARNOLD? WHAT ABOUT HIM? 318 00:11:55,458 --> 00:11:57,502 HE'S SPECIAL TO YOU, ISN'T HE? 319 00:11:57,585 --> 00:12:00,130 I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. 320 00:12:00,213 --> 00:12:02,048 IN MR. SIMMONS' CLASS, YOU THREW 57 SPITBALLS AT HIM 321 00:12:02,132 --> 00:12:05,301 STARED AT HIM THE WHOLE TIME AND CALLED HIM "FOOTBALL HEAD." 322 00:12:05,385 --> 00:12:07,679 WHAT'S YOUR POINT? 323 00:12:07,762 --> 00:12:10,473 THAT'S A LOT OF ATTENTION, EVEN IF IT IS NEGATIVE. 324 00:12:10,557 --> 00:12:12,851 YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT? 325 00:12:14,227 --> 00:12:15,311 YOU SEEM ANGRY AT HIM. 326 00:12:15,395 --> 00:12:16,855 I AM NOT ANGRY AT HIM. 327 00:12:16,938 --> 00:12:18,356 THAT WAS COMPLETELY RANDOM. 328 00:12:18,440 --> 00:12:19,691 I WAS THROWING SPITBALLS AT HIM BECAUSE... 329 00:12:19,774 --> 00:12:22,152 UH, BECAUSE IT WAS ARNOLD DAY ON MY CALENDAR. 330 00:12:22,235 --> 00:12:26,406 TODAY WAS GERALD DAY... I SHOT RUBBER BANDS AT GERALD, REALLY. 331 00:12:26,489 --> 00:12:28,158 OKAY THEN, WE'LL MOVE ON. 332 00:12:28,241 --> 00:12:29,325 WHEW, SHE'S MOVING ON. 333 00:12:29,409 --> 00:12:30,660 NICE RECOVERY, HELGA. 334 00:12:30,744 --> 00:12:33,329 NOW, ALL I HAVE TO DO IS STAY FOCUSED. 335 00:12:33,413 --> 00:12:37,041 NO MATTER WHAT, STAY AWAY FROM THE SUBJECT OF ARNOLD. 336 00:12:37,125 --> 00:12:37,917 LET'S DO SOME TESTS. 337 00:12:38,001 --> 00:12:39,544 TESTS? 338 00:12:39,627 --> 00:12:40,920 WE'LL START WITH INK BLOTS. 339 00:12:41,004 --> 00:12:44,090 I WANT YOU TO LOOK AT THESE AND DESCRIBE WHAT YOU SEE. 340 00:12:44,174 --> 00:12:45,967 AR... 341 00:12:46,050 --> 00:12:49,762 AR... ARCHITECTURE OF SOME KIND? 342 00:12:52,640 --> 00:12:56,311 AR... UM... AN... 343 00:12:56,394 --> 00:12:59,564 INVERTED SOUP TUREEN... THAT'S ON FIRE. 344 00:12:59,647 --> 00:13:01,232 HOT IN HERE. 345 00:13:05,445 --> 00:13:08,698 AR... AREN'T YOU TIRED OF THIS? 346 00:13:08,781 --> 00:13:12,535 I MEAN, WHAT DO A BUNCH OF INK BLOTS TELL YOU ANYWAY? 347 00:13:12,619 --> 00:13:13,870 THEY'RE JUST INK BLOTS. 348 00:13:13,953 --> 00:13:14,829 YOU'RE RIGHT, ENOUGH INK BLOTS. 349 00:13:14,913 --> 00:13:18,500 HOW ABOUT WE TRY A LITTLE WORD ASSOCIATION? 350 00:13:18,583 --> 00:13:20,919 I'LL READ OFF THIS LIST OF WORDS AND YOU SAY 351 00:13:21,002 --> 00:13:22,921 THE NEXT WORD THAT COMES TO MIND. 352 00:13:23,004 --> 00:13:25,924 STEADY, GIRL, YOU CAN DO IT. DO NOT SAY ARNOLD. 353 00:13:26,007 --> 00:13:26,007 LOVE. 354 00:13:26,007 --> 00:13:27,217 HATE. 355 00:13:27,300 --> 00:13:27,300 ROCKET. 356 00:13:27,300 --> 00:13:28,706 BUCKET. POCKET! 357 00:13:28,706 --> 00:13:28,706 ROCKET. 358 00:13:28,706 --> 00:13:28,718 BUCKET. POCKET! 359 00:13:28,801 --> 00:13:29,677 DAVY CROCKETT! 360 00:13:29,761 --> 00:13:29,761 FOOTBALL. 361 00:13:29,761 --> 00:13:31,054 HEAD. 362 00:13:31,137 --> 00:13:31,721 DID I SAY HEAD? 363 00:13:31,804 --> 00:13:34,682 I MEAN GAME, FOOTBALL GAME. 364 00:13:34,766 --> 00:13:34,766 MONDAY. 365 00:13:34,766 --> 00:13:37,894 NIGHT FOOTBALL. AAH! 366 00:13:37,977 --> 00:13:38,228 ENOUGH. 367 00:13:38,311 --> 00:13:40,522 GOOD IDEA. 368 00:13:40,605 --> 00:13:41,731 WHAT ELSE? 369 00:13:41,814 --> 00:13:44,067 YOU SAID NO ONE AT HOME NOTICES YOU EXIST. 370 00:13:44,150 --> 00:13:45,235 AND...? 371 00:13:45,318 --> 00:13:45,860 WELL, I THINK 372 00:13:45,944 --> 00:13:47,529 THAT'S VERY SAD, HELGA. 373 00:13:47,612 --> 00:13:49,239 EVERYONE NEEDS TO BE NOTICED. 374 00:13:49,322 --> 00:13:51,491 OTHERWISE LIFE WOULD BE TERRIBLY LONELY. 375 00:13:51,574 --> 00:13:52,617 YOU GOT THAT RIGHT. 376 00:13:52,700 --> 00:13:53,284 YOUR MOM DOESN'T NOTICE YOU? 377 00:13:53,368 --> 00:13:55,245 MY MOM?! HUH! 378 00:13:55,328 --> 00:13:56,454 MY MOM WOULDN'T NOTICE ME 379 00:13:56,538 --> 00:13:58,039 IF I WAS AN ALIEN POD PERSON 380 00:13:58,122 --> 00:14:00,583 CHANTING "HARE KRISHNA" AND SPITTING NICKELS. 381 00:14:00,667 --> 00:14:02,585 THE OTHER MORNING, I WAS IN THE KITCHEN 382 00:14:02,669 --> 00:14:04,087 LATE FOR SCHOOL AS USUAL. 383 00:14:04,170 --> 00:14:06,130 MOM! 384 00:14:06,214 --> 00:14:08,716 MIRIAM! 385 00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:11,553 SHE'S ASLEEP BEHIND THE COUCH. 386 00:14:11,636 --> 00:14:12,762 WHAT, WHAT? 387 00:14:12,845 --> 00:14:15,223 OH, I WAS JUST LOOKING FOR MY KEYS. 388 00:14:15,306 --> 00:14:16,099 THEY'RE HANGING ON THE HOOK. 389 00:14:16,182 --> 00:14:18,226 OH, GOOD. 390 00:14:18,309 --> 00:14:19,811 MOM, I'M LATE FOR SCHOOL. 391 00:14:19,894 --> 00:14:21,229 AND NO ONE MADE MY LUNCH. 392 00:14:21,312 --> 00:14:22,730 OH, YEAH, I DID, HONEY. 393 00:14:22,814 --> 00:14:23,398 I PUT IT OUT FOR YOU. 394 00:14:23,481 --> 00:14:25,316 IT'S, IT'S... 395 00:14:25,400 --> 00:14:26,276 IT'S AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE. 396 00:14:26,359 --> 00:14:27,443 OH, HERE IT IS. 397 00:14:27,527 --> 00:14:30,029 ( sit-com laughter ) 398 00:14:30,113 --> 00:14:34,367 MOIST TOWELETTES, AN INDIVIDUAL PACKET OF CRACKERS 399 00:14:34,450 --> 00:14:35,577 AND A CAN OF SHAVING CREAM? 400 00:14:35,660 --> 00:14:38,496 OH, HOW DID THAT GET IN THERE? 401 00:14:38,580 --> 00:14:41,332 OH... UH-OH, UH-OH. 402 00:14:41,416 --> 00:14:44,127 THAT MEANS THE CHEESE FIZZ IS IN B.'s MEDICINE CABINET. 403 00:14:44,210 --> 00:14:47,797 AH! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO RUN A BEEPER EMPIRE WITH MY FACE 404 00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:50,717 SMELLING LIKE HICKORY-SMOKED CHEDDAR, MIRIAM? 405 00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:51,175 DID YOU GET TO SCHOOL? 406 00:14:51,259 --> 00:14:53,136 YEAH. 407 00:14:53,219 --> 00:14:54,262 WHAT ABOUT LUNCH? 408 00:14:54,345 --> 00:14:55,013 I TRADED THE SHAVING CREAM 409 00:14:55,096 --> 00:14:57,307 WITH HAROLD FOR A MR. FUDGY BAR. 410 00:14:57,390 --> 00:14:59,976 HE THOUGHT IT WAS WHIPPED TOPPING. WHAT AN IDIOT. 411 00:15:00,059 --> 00:15:02,353 YOUR DAD DOESN'T NOTICE YOU, EITHER? 412 00:15:02,437 --> 00:15:03,688 ARE YOU KIDDING? 413 00:15:03,771 --> 00:15:05,940 ALL HE CARES ABOUT IS OLGA 414 00:15:06,024 --> 00:15:07,150 BECAUSE SHE'S PERFECT. 415 00:15:07,233 --> 00:15:09,068 SHE'S GOT HIM COMPLETELY BUFFALOED 416 00:15:09,152 --> 00:15:10,028 ALWAYS HAS. 417 00:15:10,111 --> 00:15:12,322 AS FAR BACK AS I CAN REMEMBER. 418 00:15:12,405 --> 00:15:14,407 ( piano playing... ) 419 00:15:15,742 --> 00:15:18,161 THAT WAS WONDERFUL, HONEY. 420 00:15:18,244 --> 00:15:20,580 YOU'RE A STINKING GENIUS! 421 00:15:20,663 --> 00:15:22,624 DADDY, WHO'S TAKING ME TO PRE-SCHOOL? 422 00:15:22,707 --> 00:15:23,833 HUH? OH, YEAH, YEAH. 423 00:15:23,916 --> 00:15:26,461 COME ON, PLAY US ANOTHER ONE, OLGA. 424 00:15:26,544 --> 00:15:30,298 I KNOW-- HOW ABOUT THE MINUTE WALTZ BY MONSIEUR FREDERIC CHOPIN? 425 00:15:30,381 --> 00:15:30,381 I LOVE THAT ONE. 426 00:15:30,381 --> 00:15:32,050 ( begins playing ) 427 00:15:32,133 --> 00:15:33,760 YOU SHOULD HEAR HER PLAY BEE-THOVEN. 428 00:15:33,843 --> 00:15:35,178 CAN YOU BELIEVE OUR OLGA? 429 00:15:35,261 --> 00:15:36,596 CONCERT PIANIST AT 15. 430 00:15:36,679 --> 00:15:38,056 CLASS VALEDICTORIAN. 431 00:15:38,139 --> 00:15:39,641 PLUS SHE'S WON EVERY SPELLING BEE 432 00:15:39,724 --> 00:15:41,768 IN THE WHOLE DARN CITY. 433 00:15:41,851 --> 00:15:44,145 MAKES ME PROUD TO BE A PATAKI. 434 00:15:44,228 --> 00:15:45,605 HEY, WHO'S TAKING ME TO PRE-SCHOOL? 435 00:15:45,688 --> 00:15:47,607 YEAH... IN A MINUTE, OLGA. 436 00:15:47,690 --> 00:15:50,693 NO, I'M HELGA, DAD, HELGA. 437 00:15:50,777 --> 00:15:54,364 WHATEVER. GO PLAY OUTSIDE, WILL YOU? 438 00:15:54,447 --> 00:15:56,324 I'M GOING TO PRE-SCHOOL. 439 00:15:56,407 --> 00:15:56,407 ( stops playing ) 440 00:15:56,407 --> 00:15:57,283 WHAT DO YOU KNOW? 441 00:15:57,367 --> 00:15:59,369 ONE MINUTE FLAT. 442 00:15:59,452 --> 00:15:59,952 YOU'RE AMAZING, OLGA! 443 00:16:00,036 --> 00:16:03,623 I'M GOING TO PRE-SCHOOL! 444 00:16:08,586 --> 00:16:10,922 ( snoring ) 445 00:16:17,553 --> 00:16:20,682 ( barking ) 446 00:16:25,019 --> 00:16:28,022 SO NOBODY'S EVER NOTICED YOU. 447 00:16:28,106 --> 00:16:29,982 THERE WAS SOMEONE. 448 00:16:34,362 --> 00:16:35,279 HI... 449 00:16:35,363 --> 00:16:35,571 NICE BOW. 450 00:16:35,655 --> 00:16:37,073 HUH? 451 00:16:37,156 --> 00:16:37,907 I LIKE YOUR BOW 452 00:16:37,990 --> 00:16:40,660 BECAUSE IT'S PINK LIKE YOUR PANTS. 453 00:16:44,288 --> 00:16:46,708 OH... 454 00:16:51,462 --> 00:16:52,714 ( sighs ) 455 00:16:52,797 --> 00:16:54,006 ( both laugh ) 456 00:16:58,678 --> 00:17:00,179 ( laughing ) 457 00:17:03,474 --> 00:17:04,142 WANT MINE? 458 00:17:11,482 --> 00:17:12,233 ( sighs ) 459 00:17:14,110 --> 00:17:16,028 ( laughing ) 460 00:17:23,953 --> 00:17:27,665 QUIT LAUGHING, GEEK BAIT, OR YOU'LL HAVE TO ANSWER 461 00:17:27,749 --> 00:17:28,624 TO OLD BETSY AND... 462 00:17:28,708 --> 00:17:30,877 AND THE FIVE AVENGERS. 463 00:17:30,960 --> 00:17:32,462 OLD WHO AND THE FIVE WHAT? 464 00:17:32,545 --> 00:17:34,797 MY FISTS, STUPID. 465 00:17:34,881 --> 00:17:35,631 THAT'S THEIR NAMES. 466 00:17:35,715 --> 00:17:39,427 WHAT? YOUR FISTS HAVE NAMES? 467 00:17:39,510 --> 00:17:41,888 OH, YOU'RE CONFUSING ME! 468 00:17:43,181 --> 00:17:43,890 BLEH... 469 00:17:43,973 --> 00:17:45,641 I'M THE BOSS 470 00:17:45,725 --> 00:17:46,601 AROUND HERE. 471 00:17:46,684 --> 00:17:48,311 GOT IT? 472 00:17:49,729 --> 00:17:53,357 THAT'S RIGHT, I'M WALKING HERE, HELGA G. PATAKI. 473 00:17:53,441 --> 00:17:55,067 WHAT'S THE "G" STAND FOR? 474 00:17:55,151 --> 00:17:56,444 NONE OF YOUR BEESWAX. 475 00:17:56,527 --> 00:17:58,863 NOW GET BUSY WITH YOUR FINGER PAINTING 476 00:17:58,946 --> 00:17:59,697 BEFORE I MAKE YOU WEAR IT. 477 00:17:59,781 --> 00:18:01,073 OKAY... ( muttering ) 478 00:18:13,544 --> 00:18:14,670 I LOVE YOU, ARNOLD 479 00:18:14,754 --> 00:18:17,256 AND I WANT TO MARRY YOU. 480 00:18:17,340 --> 00:18:18,633 ( nasal breathing ) 481 00:18:21,594 --> 00:18:23,012 I'M TRYING TO HIDE BEHIND THE GARBAGE CAN 482 00:18:23,095 --> 00:18:25,515 TRYING TO GET A MINUTE ALONE, AND THERE HE IS... 483 00:18:25,598 --> 00:18:26,599 BREATHING AWAY. 484 00:18:26,682 --> 00:18:27,934 OF COURSE I HIT HIM. 485 00:18:28,017 --> 00:18:29,977 WHY DID YOU WANT THAT MINUTE ALONE? 486 00:18:30,061 --> 00:18:33,481 BECAUSE OF... OH, LEAVE ME ALONE. 487 00:18:33,564 --> 00:18:35,441 I'M HEARING YOUR ANGER AGAIN. 488 00:18:35,525 --> 00:18:36,818 OKAY, SO YOU HEAR MY ANGER. 489 00:18:36,901 --> 00:18:37,944 SO I GET ANGRY. 490 00:18:38,027 --> 00:18:39,070 I ALREADY TOLD YOU 491 00:18:39,153 --> 00:18:39,529 THAT I'VE GOT A LAME MOM 492 00:18:39,612 --> 00:18:40,571 A BLOWHARD DAD 493 00:18:40,655 --> 00:18:41,948 AND A PERFECT SISTER. 494 00:18:42,031 --> 00:18:44,659 SO THEY MAKE ME MAD-- BIG DEAL. 495 00:18:44,742 --> 00:18:46,160 WHY TAKE IT OUT ON ARNOLD? 496 00:18:46,244 --> 00:18:48,371 WHY DO YOU KEEP BRINGING UP ARNOLD? 497 00:18:48,454 --> 00:18:50,248 I AM NOT ANGRY AT ARNOLD. 498 00:18:50,331 --> 00:18:53,459 YOU EXPRESS MORE ANGER AT HIM THAN ANYONE ELSE. 499 00:18:53,543 --> 00:18:55,211 I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. 500 00:18:55,294 --> 00:18:59,131 HELGA, IF YOU FEEL LIKE GETTING SOMETHING OFF YOUR CHEST 501 00:18:59,215 --> 00:19:00,049 LIKE HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT ARNOLD 502 00:19:00,132 --> 00:19:03,052 NOW MIGHT BE A PRETTY GOOD TIME TO DO IT. 503 00:19:03,135 --> 00:19:05,596 ANYTHING YOU SAY WILL BE KEPT IN CONFIDENCE. 504 00:19:05,680 --> 00:19:07,348 CONFIDENCE? 505 00:19:07,431 --> 00:19:09,725 IT'S MY PROFESSIONAL CODE NOT TO TELL WHAT GOES ON HERE. 506 00:19:09,809 --> 00:19:11,561 YOU'RE SWORN NOT TO TELL? 507 00:19:11,644 --> 00:19:13,604 OF COURSE, HELGA. 508 00:19:13,688 --> 00:19:14,564 I MEAN, YOU'RE SWORN, RIGHT? 509 00:19:14,647 --> 00:19:17,567 EVEN IF YOU WERE TORTURED, YOU'D NEVER TELL? 510 00:19:17,650 --> 00:19:19,068 I SWEAR NEVER TO TELL. 511 00:19:19,151 --> 00:19:23,573 SO, LIKE, IF SOMEONE STUCK YOUR HEAD IN A CAGE WITH A STARVED, RABID RAT 512 00:19:23,656 --> 00:19:24,907 YOU STILL WOULDN'T TELL? 513 00:19:24,991 --> 00:19:27,243 EVEN THEN, HELGA, I STILL WOULDN'T TELL. 514 00:19:27,326 --> 00:19:30,037 WELL... I... 515 00:19:30,121 --> 00:19:30,454 YOU... 516 00:19:30,538 --> 00:19:32,999 I... 517 00:19:33,082 --> 00:19:35,126 I LOVE ARNOLD! 518 00:19:35,209 --> 00:19:36,878 THERE, I SAID IT! 519 00:19:36,961 --> 00:19:39,463 I LOVE HIM, I LOVE HIM! 520 00:19:39,547 --> 00:19:40,590 ARNOLD, ARNOLD, ARNOLD! 521 00:19:40,673 --> 00:19:44,093 I'M ABSITIVELY, POSOLUTELY IN LOVE WITH THE BOY! 522 00:19:44,176 --> 00:19:47,263 I WANT TO GROW UP AND TRAVEL THE WORLD WITH HIM. 523 00:19:47,346 --> 00:19:49,473 COFFEE IN PARIS, ROSES, SAILBOATS, THE WHOLE NINE YARDS! 524 00:19:49,557 --> 00:19:54,562 I WANT TO HAVE A PERFUME NAMED AFTER US: ARNOLD AND HELGA. 525 00:19:54,645 --> 00:19:55,229 I LOVE ARNOLD! 526 00:19:55,313 --> 00:19:57,064 ( car alarm beeping ) 527 00:19:57,148 --> 00:19:58,900 SATISFIED? 528 00:19:58,983 --> 00:20:00,943 NOW WE'RE GETTING SOMEWHERE. 529 00:20:01,027 --> 00:20:02,278 IF YOU EVER TELL ANYONE 530 00:20:02,361 --> 00:20:04,739 I'LL RIP YOUR TONGUE OUT AND WRAP IT AROUND YOUR NECK! 531 00:20:04,822 --> 00:20:06,490 YOU CAN TRUST ME. 532 00:20:06,574 --> 00:20:07,867 ( sighs ) 533 00:20:07,950 --> 00:20:10,453 MAN... THAT WAS BUILDING UP FOR A WHILE. 534 00:20:10,536 --> 00:20:11,287 I KNOW... BUT YOU SAID IT. 535 00:20:11,370 --> 00:20:13,789 AND THE WORLD DIDN'T END, DID IT? 536 00:20:13,873 --> 00:20:15,541 ( sighs ) NO. 537 00:20:15,625 --> 00:20:16,626 PRETTY SICK, AREN'T I? 538 00:20:16,709 --> 00:20:18,002 I MEAN, I ONCE 539 00:20:18,085 --> 00:20:18,836 SCULPTED ARNOLD'S LIKENESS 540 00:20:18,920 --> 00:20:20,671 OUT OF WADS OF HIS USED GUM. 541 00:20:20,755 --> 00:20:22,715 YOU'RE NOT SICK. 542 00:20:22,798 --> 00:20:23,799 YOU FEEL YOUR FEELINGS VERY STRONGLY. 543 00:20:23,883 --> 00:20:25,801 YOU'RE VERY CREATIVE. 544 00:20:25,885 --> 00:20:28,512 DID YOU SAY USED GUM? 545 00:20:29,555 --> 00:20:30,181 OKAY, SO YOU LOVE ARNOLD 546 00:20:30,264 --> 00:20:32,683 AND YOU'RE SCARED TO TELL HIM 547 00:20:32,767 --> 00:20:34,810 BECAUSE HE MIGHT NOT LOVE YOU BACK. 548 00:20:34,894 --> 00:20:37,480 HELGA, THIS KIND OF THING HAPPENS EVERY DAY. 549 00:20:37,563 --> 00:20:39,607 BUT YOU'LL NEVER KNOW HOW HE FEELS 550 00:20:39,690 --> 00:20:40,816 UNTIL YOU TELL HIM. 551 00:20:40,900 --> 00:20:41,859 BUT I'M NOT READY TO TELL HIM! 552 00:20:41,943 --> 00:20:44,612 YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL HIM UNTIL YOU'RE READY. 553 00:20:44,695 --> 00:20:46,280 I CAN STILL KEEP IT A SECRET? 554 00:20:46,364 --> 00:20:47,156 MM-HMM. 555 00:20:47,239 --> 00:20:48,115 IT'S OKAY 556 00:20:48,199 --> 00:20:49,492 TO BE OBSESSED ABOUT HIM? 557 00:20:49,575 --> 00:20:51,202 YOU KNOW, THE SHRINES AND STUFF 558 00:20:51,285 --> 00:20:52,411 THE TANTRIC SPELLS? 559 00:20:52,495 --> 00:20:54,747 AS LONG AS YOU'RE NOT HURTING ANYONE 560 00:20:54,830 --> 00:20:57,083 IT SOUNDS LIKE AN OKAY WAY TO EXPRESS YOURSELF. 561 00:20:57,166 --> 00:20:58,668 ANIMAL SACRIFICES ARE OUT? 562 00:20:58,751 --> 00:21:00,002 YES, I'M AFRAID SO. 563 00:21:00,086 --> 00:21:01,420 SO IT'S OKAY TO BE HELGA. 564 00:21:01,504 --> 00:21:03,005 I CAN GO OUT THERE AND YELL 565 00:21:03,089 --> 00:21:05,341 AND BOSS THE OTHER KIDS AROUND, RIGHT? 566 00:21:05,424 --> 00:21:06,008 RIGHT. 567 00:21:06,092 --> 00:21:06,801 CAN I STILL SOCK BRAINY? 568 00:21:06,884 --> 00:21:08,052 NO, DON'T SOCK BRAINY. 569 00:21:08,135 --> 00:21:11,180 THAT'S WHY YOU'RE HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE. 570 00:21:11,263 --> 00:21:13,683 OKAY, THAT'S PLENTY TO THINK ABOUT. 571 00:21:13,766 --> 00:21:14,767 SESSION'S OVER, HELGA. 572 00:21:14,850 --> 00:21:16,477 WHAT?! ALREADY? 573 00:21:16,560 --> 00:21:17,687 BUT WE WERE JUST MAKING SOME PROGRESS. 574 00:21:17,770 --> 00:21:20,064 WE CAN TALK AGAIN. 575 00:21:25,653 --> 00:21:26,946 AH! 576 00:21:27,029 --> 00:21:29,156 MAN, I FEEL GREAT! 577 00:21:29,240 --> 00:21:30,408 SO CLEAN. 578 00:21:30,491 --> 00:21:33,160 CONFESSION IS GOOD FOR THE SOUL. 579 00:21:33,244 --> 00:21:34,453 IT'S THE NEW, HONEST ME! 580 00:21:36,497 --> 00:21:37,999 ( both grunt ) 581 00:21:38,958 --> 00:21:39,625 SORRY, HELGA. 582 00:21:39,709 --> 00:21:40,251 ARNOLD! 583 00:21:40,334 --> 00:21:41,502 I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT... 584 00:21:42,628 --> 00:21:44,797 THAT... 585 00:21:45,297 --> 00:21:46,716 THAT YOU SHOULD 586 00:21:46,799 --> 00:21:48,676 WATCH WHERE YOU'RE WALKING! 587 00:21:48,759 --> 00:21:50,094 QUIT CRASHING INTO ME ALL THE TIME! SHEESH! 588 00:21:50,177 --> 00:21:52,972 NICE RUNNING INTO YOU, TOO, HELGA. 589 00:21:54,849 --> 00:21:56,058 ( laughs ) 590 00:21:56,142 --> 00:21:57,393 LOOK AT HIM. 591 00:21:57,476 --> 00:21:58,561 ALL TICKED OFF. 592 00:21:58,644 --> 00:21:59,854 HE DOESN'T GET IT. 593 00:21:59,937 --> 00:22:02,064 HE DOESN'T KNOW MY SECRET. 594 00:22:02,148 --> 00:22:03,232 WHAT A SAP. 595 00:22:03,315 --> 00:22:05,735 WHAT A MAROON. 596 00:22:05,818 --> 00:22:08,988 HE STILL CAN'T EVEN TELL... THAT I ADORE HIM. 597 00:22:09,071 --> 00:22:11,532 OH, MY FOOTBALL-HEADED LOVE GOD. 598 00:22:11,615 --> 00:22:14,744 I'M OKAY, YOU'RE OKAY, WE'RE ALL OKAY. 599 00:22:14,827 --> 00:22:18,914 I LOVE YOU, LOVE YOU, LOVE YOU! 600 00:22:18,998 --> 00:22:20,458 ( nasal breathing ) 601 00:22:23,252 --> 00:22:24,128 LOOK, BRAINY, THIS IS JUST WEIRD. 602 00:22:24,211 --> 00:22:27,173 HOW IS IT THAT YOU'RE BEHIND ME AGAIN? 603 00:22:27,256 --> 00:22:28,716 HOW DID YOU GET HERE? 604 00:22:28,799 --> 00:22:31,260 WERE YOU WAITING FOR ME TO COME TO THIS ALLEY? 605 00:22:31,343 --> 00:22:32,428 WHAT'S YOUR DEAL? 606 00:22:32,511 --> 00:22:34,805 OKAY... I'M NOT GOING TO HIT YOU THIS TIME. 607 00:22:34,889 --> 00:22:35,473 THIS ONE'S FOR FREE. 608 00:22:35,556 --> 00:22:37,391 TODAY I'M FEELING GENEROUS. 609 00:22:37,475 --> 00:22:38,559 BUT TOMORROW, LOOK OUT. 610 00:22:42,354 --> 00:22:45,274 All: HEY, HELGA, HOW YOU DOING? 611 00:22:45,357 --> 00:22:46,442 LOOKING GOOD! 612 00:22:51,947 --> 00:22:54,825 [Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION 613 00:22:54,909 --> 00:22:58,287 and NICKELODEON 41202

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