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1
00:00:01,954 --> 00:00:02,913
Helga:
ARNOLD!
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00:00:02,996 --> 00:00:04,540
( barking )
3
00:00:05,499 --> 00:00:05,541
HEY, ARNOLD!
4
00:00:11,672 --> 00:00:13,257
( glass shatters )
5
00:00:17,553 --> 00:00:18,470
( girl shrieks )
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00:00:18,554 --> 00:00:20,639
Helga:
HEY, ARNOLD!
7
00:00:21,473 --> 00:00:23,767
ARNOLD!
8
00:00:24,518 --> 00:00:26,603
ARNOLD!
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00:00:27,354 --> 00:00:29,773
ARNOLD!
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00:00:29,857 --> 00:00:32,526
[Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
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00:00:32,609 --> 00:00:35,070
and NICKELODEON]
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00:00:37,531 --> 00:00:39,241
AR-NOLD!
13
00:00:40,576 --> 00:00:42,619
MOVE IT,
FOOTBALL HEAD!
14
00:00:42,703 --> 00:00:42,745
Kids:
HEY, ARNOLD!
15
00:00:53,464 --> 00:00:58,093
( class bell rings )
16
00:00:58,177 --> 00:01:00,971
AND THEN THE COW
SAYS TO THE FARMER,
"BUTTER?"
17
00:01:01,054 --> 00:01:02,973
"I THOUGHT
YOU SAID, 'UDDER.'"
18
00:01:03,056 --> 00:01:04,349
( Arnold laughs, sighs )
19
00:01:04,433 --> 00:01:05,476
LILA, THAT'S
REALLY FUNNY.
20
00:01:05,559 --> 00:01:08,687
GOSH, ARNOLD,
THANKS EVER SO MUCH.
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00:01:08,771 --> 00:01:10,230
HERE YOU GO,
HELGA.
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00:01:10,314 --> 00:01:12,483
EXCUSE ME...
23
00:01:12,566 --> 00:01:13,567
I THINK I JUST OFFERED YOU
24
00:01:13,650 --> 00:01:16,111
AN INVITATION TO MY
COSTUME PARTY THIS WEEKEND.
25
00:01:16,195 --> 00:01:17,863
OH, YEAH, THANKS.
26
00:01:17,946 --> 00:01:20,073
NOW MOVE ALONG,
WOULD YOU, SISTER?
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00:01:20,157 --> 00:01:20,741
INGRATE.
28
00:01:20,824 --> 00:01:22,910
Arnold:
I'M SERIOUS, LILA.
29
00:01:22,993 --> 00:01:25,162
YOU REALLY DO TELL
THE BEST STORIES.
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00:01:25,245 --> 00:01:27,206
OH, ARNOLD,
YOU'RE, OH, TOO KIND.
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00:01:27,289 --> 00:01:28,373
( growls )
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00:01:30,083 --> 00:01:32,836
WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE
THERE'S ONLY ONE LEFT.
33
00:01:32,920 --> 00:01:33,587
YOU GO AHEAD.
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00:01:33,670 --> 00:01:34,338
NOT AT ALL, ARNOLD.
35
00:01:34,421 --> 00:01:36,507
I'M CERTAIN
YOU SHOULD TAKE IT.
36
00:01:36,590 --> 00:01:37,341
YOU SURE?
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00:01:37,424 --> 00:01:38,175
EVER SO SURE.
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00:01:38,258 --> 00:01:38,967
THANKS, LILA.
39
00:01:39,051 --> 00:01:41,345
THAT'S REALLY
THOUGHTFUL OF YOU.
40
00:01:42,262 --> 00:01:45,349
WOW, LILA,
THOSE ARE REALLY NICE BOWS.
41
00:01:45,432 --> 00:01:45,849
ARE THEY NEW?
42
00:01:45,933 --> 00:01:46,934
GOSH, NO, ARNOLD.
43
00:01:47,017 --> 00:01:50,020
I WEAR THEM
JUST EVERY OLD DAY.
44
00:01:50,103 --> 00:01:52,689
WELL, TODAY THEY LOOK
ESPECIALLY NICE.
45
00:01:52,773 --> 00:01:53,524
THANK YOU, ARNOLD.
46
00:01:53,607 --> 00:01:54,942
YOU'RE EVER SO SWEET.
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00:01:55,025 --> 00:01:58,028
ARNOLD, FOREVER
UNDER LILA'S SPELL.
48
00:01:58,111 --> 00:02:01,323
ETERNALLY WORSHIPPING
HER EVERY STINKING MOVE.
49
00:02:01,406 --> 00:02:05,869
CONSTANTLY ENRAPTURED BY HER,
OH, SO ADORABLE SENSE OF HUMOR.
50
00:02:05,953 --> 00:02:09,540
AND HER SELFLESSNESS,
AND HER CUTE HAIR ACCESSORIES.
51
00:02:09,623 --> 00:02:12,793
AND YET... HOW I WISH I WAS BORN
A LITTLE MISS PERFECT.
52
00:02:12,876 --> 00:02:16,797
HOW I LONG TO BE
FUNNY AND KIND AND FEMININE.
53
00:02:16,880 --> 00:02:20,300
HOW I DREAM THAT I COULD
SOMEHOW BE MORE LIKE LILA
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00:02:20,384 --> 00:02:21,802
SO THAT YOU, MY LOVE
55
00:02:21,885 --> 00:02:24,388
MIGHT BLINDLY
WORSHIP ME INSTEAD.
56
00:02:24,471 --> 00:02:25,222
WAIT, THAT'S A GREAT IDEA!
57
00:02:25,305 --> 00:02:27,933
IF I WANT TO GET
ARNOLD'S ATTENTION
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00:02:28,016 --> 00:02:30,227
ALL I HAVE TO DO
IS START ACTING LIKE LILA.
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00:02:30,310 --> 00:02:33,021
I CAN'T BELIEVE
I DIDN'T THINK OF THIS SOONER.
60
00:02:33,105 --> 00:02:36,275
NOW, ALL I GOT TO DO
IS GET MISS PERFECT TO COACH ME.
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00:02:36,358 --> 00:02:37,276
TEACH YOU TO BE LIKE ME?
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00:02:37,359 --> 00:02:38,986
I'M SORRY, HELGA, BUT...
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00:02:39,069 --> 00:02:41,613
I'M CERTAIN
I JUST DON'T GET WHY.
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00:02:41,697 --> 00:02:43,448
LOOK, LILA, IT'S SIMPLE.
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00:02:43,532 --> 00:02:44,533
I'VE BEEN THINKING
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00:02:44,616 --> 00:02:46,368
AND I'VE DECIDED
IT'S HIGH TIME
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00:02:46,451 --> 00:02:47,744
I TURNED OVER
A NEW LEAF.
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00:02:47,828 --> 00:02:51,415
IMPROVE MY SELF IMAGE,
BE NICER TO PEOPLE,
ACT MORE SOCIABLE
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00:02:51,498 --> 00:02:54,543
AND I FIGURED YOU'D BE
THE PERFECT PERSON
TO HELP ME.
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00:02:54,626 --> 00:02:55,335
YOU DID?
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00:02:55,419 --> 00:02:56,211
YEAH, LILA.
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00:02:56,295 --> 00:02:59,798
AFTER ALL, YOU ARE
THE NICEST, FUNNIEST
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00:02:59,882 --> 00:03:02,301
MOST FEMININE GIRL
IN SCHOOL.
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00:03:02,384 --> 00:03:06,513
GOSH, HELGA,
I'M EVER SO FLATTERED
THAT YOU FEEL THAT WAY.
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00:03:06,597 --> 00:03:07,556
I'D LOVE
TO HELP YOU OUT.
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00:03:07,639 --> 00:03:10,934
Helga:
LET'S START WITH
THOSE FUNNY STORIES.
77
00:03:11,018 --> 00:03:14,104
WHERE DO YOU GET
YOUR MATERIAL?
IT'S INCREDIBLE.
78
00:03:14,187 --> 00:03:17,566
I SUPPOSE I JUST DRAW FROM
MY OWN PERSONAL EXPERIENCES.
79
00:03:17,649 --> 00:03:19,151
MAN, THAT OUGHT
TO BE A SNAP.
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00:03:19,234 --> 00:03:20,527
NOW, ABOUT THE WAY
YOU'RE ALWAYS
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00:03:20,611 --> 00:03:22,029
ACTING SO NICE
TO PEOPLE.
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00:03:22,112 --> 00:03:24,698
HOW COULD I LEARN
TO DO THAT?
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00:03:24,781 --> 00:03:28,535
WELL, I GUESS YOU COULD
BEGIN BY GIVING SOMEONE
AN, OH, SO SIMPLE COMPLIMENT.
84
00:03:28,619 --> 00:03:29,953
COMPLIMENTING
SOMEONE....
85
00:03:30,037 --> 00:03:32,664
HOW ABOUT
THIS ACTING LIKE
A GIRLY-GIRL ROUTINE?
86
00:03:32,748 --> 00:03:35,042
I COULD USE
A FEW POINTERS.
87
00:03:35,125 --> 00:03:38,503
WELL, FOR STARTERS, YOU COULD
TRY AND BE LESS ARGUMENTATIVE.
88
00:03:38,587 --> 00:03:42,925
YOU DO TEND TO GET
IN, OH, SO MANY FIGHTS
AND CONFRONTATIONS.
89
00:03:43,008 --> 00:03:45,802
NON-CONFRONTATIONAL--
I LIKE IT.
90
00:03:45,886 --> 00:03:47,638
ALL RIGHT, LILA,
STARTING TOMORROW
91
00:03:47,721 --> 00:03:49,932
YOU AND I PUT OPERATION
SELF-IMPROVEMENT INTO ACTION.
92
00:03:50,015 --> 00:03:52,976
IT'S SOUNDS,
OH, TOO EXCITING, HELGA.
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00:03:53,060 --> 00:03:54,811
I'LL SEE YOU
BRIGHT AND EARLY.
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00:03:54,895 --> 00:03:56,313
SEE YOU, LILA.
95
00:03:56,396 --> 00:03:59,066
( laughs )
LILA-- WHAT A SAP,
WHAT A STOOGE
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00:03:59,149 --> 00:04:01,652
WHAT AN UNWITTING PAWN
IN MY MASTER SCHEME.
97
00:04:01,735 --> 00:04:04,321
TOMORROW, I'LL PUT MY LITTLE
PLAN INTO ACTION, ALL RIGHT
98
00:04:04,404 --> 00:04:08,575
AND I'LL HAVE ARNOLD FALLING
FOR ME BEFORE I KNOW IT.
99
00:04:08,659 --> 00:04:10,035
Stinky:
MORNING, HELGA.
100
00:04:10,118 --> 00:04:11,662
MORNING, MISS LILA.
101
00:04:11,745 --> 00:04:15,707
HAVE YOU COME PREPARED TO SPIN
US ONE OF YOUR SPIRITED YARNS?
102
00:04:15,791 --> 00:04:18,585
NO, STINKY,
BUT I'M CERTAIN HELGA
103
00:04:18,669 --> 00:04:20,045
MUST HAVE
A DELIGHTFUL STORY
104
00:04:20,128 --> 00:04:21,254
SHE'D LIKE TO SHARE
WITH US.
105
00:04:21,338 --> 00:04:23,840
( whispers ):
REMEMBER, JUST STICK
TO TRUE EVENTS.
106
00:04:23,924 --> 00:04:25,884
TRUE LIFE-- GOT IT.
107
00:04:25,968 --> 00:04:27,302
( clears throat )
108
00:04:27,386 --> 00:04:29,346
I'M SITTING ON THE COUCH
WATCHING TV
109
00:04:29,429 --> 00:04:30,472
WHEN BIG BOB WALKS IN
WITH A BAG
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00:04:30,555 --> 00:04:31,974
FROM FONG CHUNG'S.
111
00:04:32,057 --> 00:04:35,644
MIRIAM, WHO'S WEARING
SOME SILKY NIGHTGOWN THING
112
00:04:35,727 --> 00:04:38,105
TAKES ONE LOOK AT HIM AND SAYS,
"CHINESE TAKE-OUT?
113
00:04:38,188 --> 00:04:41,650
I THOUGHT YOU SAID
WE WERE GOING TO MAKE OUT."
114
00:04:41,733 --> 00:04:43,443
( laughs )
PRETTY FUNNY, HUH?
115
00:04:44,569 --> 00:04:45,696
WHAT? WHAT DID I SAY?
116
00:04:45,779 --> 00:04:46,822
GARSH, THAT GOT TO BE
117
00:04:46,905 --> 00:04:50,075
THE MOST UNSEEMLY SCHOOLYARD
TALE I'VE EVER HEARD.
118
00:04:50,158 --> 00:04:55,455
THE THING IS, I JUST CAN'T
DECIDE WHETHER I SHOULD GO TO
THE PARTY AS A PRIMA BALLERINA
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00:04:55,539 --> 00:04:57,624
OR A GO-GO DANCER.
120
00:04:57,708 --> 00:04:59,584
IT'S SIMPLY DRIVING ME MAD.
121
00:04:59,668 --> 00:05:02,671
THIS WOULD BE AN,
OH, TOO PERFECT TIME
FOR A COMPLIMENT, HELGA.
122
00:05:02,754 --> 00:05:04,715
COMPLIMENT-- NO PROBLEM.
123
00:05:04,798 --> 00:05:05,549
IF YOU ASK ME,
RHONDA
124
00:05:05,632 --> 00:05:06,883
I THINK YOU SHOULD
GO WITH BALLERINA.
125
00:05:06,967 --> 00:05:10,595
THE TUTU WILL COVER YOUR THIGHS
AND YOUR LEGS WON'T LOOK AS FAT.
126
00:05:10,679 --> 00:05:11,888
OH!
127
00:05:11,972 --> 00:05:12,889
WHAT?
128
00:05:12,973 --> 00:05:14,141
WHAT DID I DO?
129
00:05:14,224 --> 00:05:15,350
THAT'S IT-- SHE'S UNINVITED.
130
00:05:16,059 --> 00:05:20,981
EWW, LOOK,
IT'S HELGA PATAKI
131
00:05:21,064 --> 00:05:26,028
AND HER BIG, HAIRY
CATERPILLAR EYEBROW!
132
00:05:26,111 --> 00:05:28,071
HELGA, I'M EVER SO CERTAIN
133
00:05:28,155 --> 00:05:30,907
THIS WOULD
A GOOD OPPORTUNITY
134
00:05:30,991 --> 00:05:32,576
TO PRACTICE BEING
NON-CONFRONTATIONAL.
135
00:05:32,659 --> 00:05:35,412
NON-CONFRONTATIONAL--
RIGHT.
136
00:05:35,495 --> 00:05:38,290
YOU'RE SO UGLY, HELGA,
YOU BETTER NOT SIT
137
00:05:38,373 --> 00:05:40,375
ANYWHERE NEAR ME OR I MIGHT
LOSE MY APPETITE!
138
00:05:40,459 --> 00:05:41,418
( laughing )
139
00:05:44,171 --> 00:05:48,800
UM, HELGA, ARE YOU, OH, SO
CERTAIN THAT YOU WANT TO
TURN OVER A NEW LEAF?
140
00:05:48,884 --> 00:05:49,384
HAROLD, ARE YOU
ALL RIGHT?
141
00:05:49,468 --> 00:05:51,470
ARNOLD!
142
00:05:51,553 --> 00:05:52,345
I MEAN...
143
00:05:52,429 --> 00:05:52,971
OF COURSE I WANT
144
00:05:53,055 --> 00:05:54,890
TO TURN OVER A NEW LEAF.
145
00:05:54,973 --> 00:05:56,767
I JUST HAVEN'T TRIED
HARD ENOUGH.
146
00:05:56,850 --> 00:05:59,853
I'M SPENDING EVERY
WAKING MINUTE WITH YOU
UNTIL I GET IT RIGHT.
147
00:05:59,936 --> 00:06:02,230
ALL RIGHT, HELGA...
148
00:06:02,314 --> 00:06:05,108
IF YOU'RE CERTAIN
THAT'S THE BEST THING TO DO.
149
00:06:12,199 --> 00:06:14,534
( singing opera... )
150
00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:25,253
( singing opera... )
151
00:06:30,175 --> 00:06:31,093
...THEN MIRIAM
SAYS TO BOB
152
00:06:31,176 --> 00:06:34,763
"NEW BEEPER? I THOUGHT
YOU SAID, 'ZOO KEEPER.'"
153
00:06:34,846 --> 00:06:36,181
( laughing )
154
00:06:38,517 --> 00:06:41,103
I JUST CAN'T DECIDE
WHETHER TO SERVE
155
00:06:41,186 --> 00:06:43,814
TRIANGULAR-SHAPED
FINGER SANDWICHES
156
00:06:43,897 --> 00:06:45,023
OR SQUARE ONES.
157
00:06:45,107 --> 00:06:45,941
IT'S SIMPLY DRIVING ME MAD.
158
00:06:46,024 --> 00:06:47,818
WELL, IF YOU
ASK ME, RHONDA
159
00:06:47,901 --> 00:06:49,736
I THINK YOU SHOULD
GO WITH BOTH.
160
00:06:49,820 --> 00:06:53,824
THAT WAY YOU WON'T HAVE TO
STIFLE YOUR, OH, SO WONDERFUL
161
00:06:53,907 --> 00:06:55,659
SENSE OF
CREATIVITY.
162
00:06:57,410 --> 00:06:59,871
I'LL... I'LL SEE YOU TONIGHT.
163
00:06:59,955 --> 00:07:02,999
OH, LOOK,
IT'S HELGA PATAKI
164
00:07:03,083 --> 00:07:07,003
AND HER BIG, DUMB
BILLY GOAT EARS!
165
00:07:07,087 --> 00:07:09,047
YOU BETTER NOT SIT
ANYWHERE NEAR ME
166
00:07:09,131 --> 00:07:12,551
OR I MIGHT JUST BARF
ALL OVER THE PLACE!
167
00:07:12,634 --> 00:07:13,844
OH, HAROLD...
168
00:07:13,927 --> 00:07:17,013
IT'S JUST EVER SO CHARMING
THE WAY YOU FEEL SO COMFORTABLE
169
00:07:17,097 --> 00:07:19,891
KIDDING AROUND
WITH ME.
170
00:07:19,975 --> 00:07:22,185
GOSH, HELGA, THE
PROGRESS YOU'VE MADE
171
00:07:22,269 --> 00:07:23,103
IS JUST
EVER SO IMPRESSIVE.
172
00:07:23,186 --> 00:07:27,023
GOSH, LILA, THANKS EVER SO MUCH.
173
00:07:27,107 --> 00:07:31,611
Helga:
OH, MY BELOVED, MY MOST
DIFFICULT TRANSFORMATION
IS ALMOST COMPLETE.
174
00:07:31,695 --> 00:07:32,487
TONIGHT AT RHONDA'S PARTY
175
00:07:32,571 --> 00:07:35,323
I'LL FINALLY SHOW YOU
FACE-TO-FACE
176
00:07:35,407 --> 00:07:38,118
JUST HOW FUNNY AND NICE
AND LILA-LIKE I CAN BE
177
00:07:38,201 --> 00:07:40,120
AND THEN, ARNOLD,
THEN YOU WILL AT LAST BE MINE!
178
00:07:40,203 --> 00:07:41,705
( thunder crashes )
179
00:07:41,788 --> 00:07:43,582
( laughing )
180
00:07:43,665 --> 00:07:44,457
OW!
181
00:07:56,803 --> 00:07:58,471
HELGA?
182
00:08:00,182 --> 00:08:01,224
DO YOU LIKE IT?
183
00:08:01,308 --> 00:08:02,559
IT'S TO THANK YOU
FOR HELPING ME.
184
00:08:02,976 --> 00:08:05,061
GOSH, HELGA.
185
00:08:05,145 --> 00:08:07,564
I'M CERTAIN
I JUST LOVE IT.
186
00:08:07,647 --> 00:08:10,609
I'M, OH, SO HAPPY
THAT YOU FEEL
THAT WAY, LILA.
187
00:08:11,151 --> 00:08:13,195
AND NOW I'M CERTAIN
188
00:08:13,278 --> 00:08:15,405
I OUGHT TO BE GETTING
MYSELF SOME PUNCH.
189
00:08:15,488 --> 00:08:17,574
OKAY, HELGA...
I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
190
00:08:17,657 --> 00:08:18,033
HEY, LILA.
191
00:08:18,116 --> 00:08:19,159
HELLO, ARNOLD.
192
00:08:19,242 --> 00:08:20,994
HELGA? WOW, GREAT COSTUME.
193
00:08:21,077 --> 00:08:22,621
WHY, THANK YOU, ARNOLD.
194
00:08:22,704 --> 00:08:26,499
MAY I SAY THAT YOUR COSTUME
IS EVER SO ENCHANTING AS WELL.
195
00:08:26,583 --> 00:08:27,250
THANKS, HELGA.
196
00:08:27,334 --> 00:08:28,293
YOU'RE EVER SO WELCOME.
197
00:08:28,376 --> 00:08:30,962
WELL, I GUESS
I BETTER GO MINGLE.
198
00:08:31,046 --> 00:08:31,963
NO, ARNOLD, WAIT!
199
00:08:32,047 --> 00:08:33,632
I MEAN... I'M CERTAIN I HAVE
200
00:08:33,715 --> 00:08:37,928
AN EVER SO AMUSING JOKE
TO TELL YOU BEFORE YOU GO.
201
00:08:38,011 --> 00:08:38,428
SURE, HELGA.
202
00:08:38,511 --> 00:08:39,304
WHATEVER DO YOU CALL
203
00:08:39,387 --> 00:08:42,641
A COW THAT'S LAYING
ON A BARN FLOOR?
204
00:08:42,724 --> 00:08:43,600
I DON'T KNOW.
205
00:08:43,683 --> 00:08:44,601
GROUND BEEF.
206
00:08:44,684 --> 00:08:45,769
( laughs )
207
00:08:45,852 --> 00:08:47,270
HEY, THAT'S
PRETTY FUNNY.
208
00:08:47,354 --> 00:08:49,564
GOSH, ARNOLD,
THANKS EVER SO MUCH.
209
00:08:51,233 --> 00:08:53,985
WOULD YOU LIKE TO
TRY ONE OF RHONDA'S
210
00:08:54,069 --> 00:08:55,111
OH, SO ADORABLE
FINGER SANDWICHES?
211
00:08:55,195 --> 00:08:58,031
UM, HELGA, IT LOOKS LIKE
THERE'S ONLY ONE LEFT.
212
00:08:58,114 --> 00:08:59,991
OH, WELL, GOSH.
213
00:09:00,075 --> 00:09:00,867
YOU GO AHEAD.
214
00:09:00,951 --> 00:09:02,869
NOT AT ALL, ARNOLD.
215
00:09:02,953 --> 00:09:04,037
YOU SHOULD TAKE IT.
216
00:09:04,120 --> 00:09:04,496
YOU SURE?
217
00:09:04,579 --> 00:09:05,747
EVER SO SURE.
218
00:09:05,830 --> 00:09:06,831
THANKS, HELGA.
219
00:09:06,915 --> 00:09:08,333
THAT'S REALLY
THOUGHTFUL OF YOU.
220
00:09:12,629 --> 00:09:15,882
OH, ARNOLD, I'M EVER SO CERTAIN
I CAN'T SEE A THING.
221
00:09:15,966 --> 00:09:17,676
JUST TRUST ME,
YOU'LL BE FINE.
222
00:09:17,759 --> 00:09:20,136
ARNOLD, CAN I TALK TO YOU
FOR A SEC, BUDDY?
223
00:09:20,220 --> 00:09:21,471
SURE. DON'T WORRY--
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
224
00:09:21,554 --> 00:09:22,681
CERTAINLY.
225
00:09:22,764 --> 00:09:24,683
( sighs )
226
00:09:24,766 --> 00:09:25,517
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
227
00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:27,352
PLAYING PIN THE TAIL
ON THE MONKEY.
228
00:09:27,435 --> 00:09:30,480
I MEAN, WHY ARE YOU
SPENDING TIME WITH HELGA?
229
00:09:30,563 --> 00:09:32,482
I'M HAVING FUN
HANGING OUT WITH HER.
230
00:09:32,566 --> 00:09:34,526
ARNOLD, WAKE UP
AND SMELL THE COFFEE.
231
00:09:34,609 --> 00:09:35,986
THE REASON YOU'RE HANGING OUT
WITH HELGA
232
00:09:36,069 --> 00:09:40,365
IS BECAUSE SHE'S WALKING AROUND
LOOKING AND ACTING LIKE LILA.
233
00:09:40,448 --> 00:09:42,492
OH, COME ON, GERALD,
THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO
WITH LILA.
234
00:09:42,575 --> 00:09:45,328
NOW, I GOT TO GET BACK
TO THE GAME.
235
00:09:45,412 --> 00:09:45,829
WHATEVER YOU SAY.
236
00:09:45,912 --> 00:09:47,539
SO, WHERE WERE WE?
237
00:09:47,622 --> 00:09:49,916
YOU WERE JUST ABOUT
TO SPIN ME AROUND.
238
00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:51,293
RIGHT, LILA.
239
00:09:52,085 --> 00:09:54,212
WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?
240
00:09:54,296 --> 00:09:55,922
I DON'T KNOW,
WHAT DID I CALL YOU?
241
00:09:56,006 --> 00:09:58,174
I'M SURE YOU JUST
CALLED ME LILA.
242
00:09:58,258 --> 00:09:59,092
NO, I DON'T THINK SO.
243
00:09:59,175 --> 00:10:01,928
I'M... EVER SO CERTAIN...
YOU DID, ARNOLD.
244
00:10:02,012 --> 00:10:04,264
WELL, I'M SORRY.
245
00:10:04,347 --> 00:10:06,433
I MEAN, IT'S AN EASY MISTAKE
TO MAKE.
246
00:10:06,516 --> 00:10:10,103
YOU KNOW,
CONSIDERING THE COSTUME.
247
00:10:10,186 --> 00:10:12,897
RIGHT. ARNOLD, WILL YOU
EXCUSE ME A MOMENT?
248
00:10:12,981 --> 00:10:14,232
OH, WHO AM I KIDDING?
249
00:10:14,316 --> 00:10:16,609
THIS WHOLE THING
IS COMPLETELY RIDICULOUS.
250
00:10:16,693 --> 00:10:20,530
SO WHAT IF ARNOLD'S
FINALLY SPENDING TIME WITH ME
251
00:10:20,614 --> 00:10:21,698
AND LISTENING TO MY STUPID JOKES
252
00:10:21,781 --> 00:10:25,327
AND OFFERING TO SHARE
HIS FINGER SANDWICHES?
253
00:10:25,410 --> 00:10:28,204
HE ISN'T DOING IT BECAUSE OF ME,
HE'S DOING IT
254
00:10:28,288 --> 00:10:30,540
BECAUSE I REMIND HIM OF LILA.
255
00:10:30,623 --> 00:10:33,877
THAT'S IT, I AM SICK OF BEING
MISS PHONY PERFECT, ANYWAY.
256
00:10:33,960 --> 00:10:40,425
I'M GOING BACK TO THE PARTY
AND I'M GOING AS MYSELF...
NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS.
257
00:10:41,676 --> 00:10:45,388
HELGA, WHAT HAPPENED
TO YOUR COSTUME?
258
00:10:45,472 --> 00:10:46,973
I TOOK IT OFF,
ARNOLD.
259
00:10:47,057 --> 00:10:47,932
I WAS FEELING
UNCOMFORTABLE.
260
00:10:48,016 --> 00:10:49,809
OH.
261
00:10:49,893 --> 00:10:50,560
STILL UP FOR A ROUND
262
00:10:50,643 --> 00:10:51,686
OF PIN THE TAIL ON THE MONKEY?
263
00:10:51,770 --> 00:10:54,898
ACTUALLY, IT'S GETTING
KIND OF COLD OUT HERE.
264
00:10:54,981 --> 00:10:57,692
I THINK I'M GOING TO GO IN.
265
00:10:57,776 --> 00:11:02,197
OKAY... I GUESS I'LL JUST
SEE YOU WHEN I SEE YOU, ARNOLD.
266
00:11:02,280 --> 00:11:03,656
YEAH.
267
00:11:03,740 --> 00:11:04,991
OH, WELL...
268
00:11:05,075 --> 00:11:06,451
I GUESS IT WASN'T MEANT TO BE.
269
00:11:06,534 --> 00:11:08,328
ARNOLD WILL NEVER
LIKE ME LIKE ME.
270
00:11:08,411 --> 00:11:09,913
THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT IS.
271
00:11:09,996 --> 00:11:12,749
IT WAS STUPID OF ME TO EVER
THINK I COULD CHANGE THAT.
272
00:11:15,335 --> 00:11:17,420
Lila:
HI, ARNOLD.
273
00:11:17,504 --> 00:11:17,921
WHEREVER
HAVE YOU BEEN?
274
00:11:18,004 --> 00:11:19,089
I'M EVER SO CERTAIN
275
00:11:19,172 --> 00:11:21,091
I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU
AT ALL TONIGHT.
276
00:11:21,174 --> 00:11:23,843
I'VE BEEN HANGING OUT
WITH HELGA.
277
00:11:23,927 --> 00:11:24,886
THAT SOUNDS NICE.
278
00:11:24,969 --> 00:11:26,596
YEAH, IT WAS NICE.
279
00:11:26,679 --> 00:11:27,931
SOMETIMES HELGA
CAN BE REALLY MEAN
280
00:11:28,014 --> 00:11:31,935
BUT THEN OTHER TIMES,
LIKE TONIGHT, SHE CAN BE
PRETTY OKAY.
281
00:11:32,018 --> 00:11:35,522
WHEN SHE IS, WELL,
THEN I ACTUALLY KIND
OF LIKE HER. ANYWAY...
282
00:11:35,605 --> 00:11:38,608
YOU WANT TO GO GET
SOME PUNCH, LILA?
283
00:11:38,691 --> 00:11:41,069
OKAY, SO HE DOESN'T
LIKE ME LIKE ME
284
00:11:41,152 --> 00:11:42,487
BUT HE DOES LIKE ME
285
00:11:42,570 --> 00:11:45,198
AND THAT MEANS
I'M HALFWAY THERE.
286
00:11:45,281 --> 00:11:47,409
( Helga sighs )
287
00:12:02,590 --> 00:12:05,301
HERE'S YOUR GRANDMA'S
VEAL CHOPS, ARNOLD.
288
00:12:05,385 --> 00:12:06,469
( crash )
289
00:12:06,553 --> 00:12:07,637
Grandpa:
DAGNABBIT!
290
00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:09,848
GRANDPA? ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
291
00:12:09,931 --> 00:12:11,891
I'M FINE, BUT MY DARN CAR'S
IN A GIGANTIC HOLE.
292
00:12:11,975 --> 00:12:15,353
THIRD TIME THIS MONTH
THE PACKARD'S ENDED UP IN THERE.
293
00:12:15,437 --> 00:12:18,648
THAT GOOD-FOR-NOTHING
COUNCILMAN GLADHAND...
294
00:12:18,731 --> 00:12:22,110
I COMPLAINED TO HIS OFFICE AGAIN
JUST YESTERDAY, BUT NOTHING!
295
00:12:22,193 --> 00:12:23,653
DID YOU TALK TO HIM IN PERSON?
296
00:12:23,736 --> 00:12:25,655
THOSE POLITICIANS
ARE ALWAYS AT LUNCH.
297
00:12:25,738 --> 00:12:26,865
WELL, IT'S 4:30--
I'LL GIVE IT A TRY.
298
00:12:30,368 --> 00:12:32,579
HE'S AT LUNCH--
A LATE LUNCH!
299
00:12:32,662 --> 00:12:35,999
BOY, OH, BOY,
THAT JUST REALLY
PUTS THE GRAVY
300
00:12:36,082 --> 00:12:39,002
ON THE WHOLE
LOUSY BRISKET,
DOESN'T IT?
301
00:12:39,085 --> 00:12:40,920
MAYBE WE SHOULD GO TO HIS OFFICE
AND TALK TO HIM.
302
00:12:41,004 --> 00:12:44,507
THAT'S AN IDEA--
I'M GOING DOWN THERE RIGHT NOW.
303
00:12:44,591 --> 00:12:45,425
COME ON, ARNOLD.
304
00:12:45,508 --> 00:12:48,178
GIVE 'EM HECK, BOYS!
305
00:12:48,261 --> 00:12:49,679
( laughs )
306
00:12:49,762 --> 00:12:51,306
WHO'S GOING TO HELP ME
GET MY CAR
307
00:12:51,389 --> 00:12:52,640
OUT OF THIS HOLE?
308
00:12:52,724 --> 00:12:55,268
Woman:
I'M SORRY, COUNCILMAN GLADHAND
309
00:12:55,351 --> 00:12:57,437
IS STILL
IN HIS WORKING LUNCH.
310
00:12:57,520 --> 00:12:59,022
BUT IT'S
ALMOST DINNERTIME.
311
00:12:59,105 --> 00:13:02,192
HE'S AT A VERY IMPORTANT
COMMITTEE MEETING.
312
00:13:02,275 --> 00:13:03,234
( men laughing )
313
00:13:03,318 --> 00:13:07,322
OH, WELL, WELL, THAT WAS
A VERY PRODUCTIVE LUNCH.
314
00:13:07,405 --> 00:13:08,364
ALWAYS HAPPY TO HELP
315
00:13:08,448 --> 00:13:10,867
A MAJOR CAMPAIGN CONTRIBUTOR
LIKE YOU, MIKE.
316
00:13:10,950 --> 00:13:12,035
( laughing )
317
00:13:12,118 --> 00:13:13,286
UH, MR. COUNCILMAN, SIR.
318
00:13:13,369 --> 00:13:15,371
YOU HAVE SOME VISITORS.
319
00:13:15,455 --> 00:13:16,998
WHY, THIS IS WONDERFUL.
320
00:13:17,081 --> 00:13:20,376
A CONCERNED YOUNG CITIZEN
AND A LOCAL TRADESMAN.
321
00:13:20,460 --> 00:13:22,629
IT'S A PERFECT PHOTO OP,
LORRAINE.
322
00:13:22,712 --> 00:13:25,048
WE DIDN'T REALLY COME HERE
TO TAKE PICTURES, COUNCILMAN.
323
00:13:25,131 --> 00:13:26,299
MY NAME'S MARTY GREEN.
324
00:13:26,382 --> 00:13:28,259
I GOT A BUTCHER SHOP
ON VINE STREET.
325
00:13:28,343 --> 00:13:30,094
THIS IS ARNOLD.
326
00:13:30,178 --> 00:13:30,720
MY PLEASURE.
327
00:13:30,803 --> 00:13:32,889
SURE, NICE TO MEET YOU.
328
00:13:32,972 --> 00:13:36,309
WE CAME HERE TO
COMPLAIN ABOUT A GIANT
POTHOLE ON OUR STREET.
329
00:13:36,392 --> 00:13:37,769
MY GRANDPA'S PACKARD FELL IN.
330
00:13:37,852 --> 00:13:40,522
PACKARD! FINE OLD AMERICAN CAR.
331
00:13:40,605 --> 00:13:42,565
YEAH, IT'S A GREAT CAR.
332
00:13:42,649 --> 00:13:43,608
BUT ABOUT
THE POTHOLE PROBLEM.
333
00:13:43,691 --> 00:13:45,527
MR. GREEN, I PROMISE YOU
THAT IN NO UNCERTAIN TERMS
334
00:13:45,610 --> 00:13:47,278
THAT MY COMPREHENSIVE
PROBLEM-SOLVING COMMITTEE
335
00:13:47,362 --> 00:13:51,032
WILL LOOK INTO THIS POTHOLE
QUANDARY IN THE MOST EXPEDIENT
TIMEFRAME POSSIBLE
336
00:13:51,115 --> 00:13:53,159
AND MAKE A COMPREHENSIVE
RECOMMENDATION FOR THE
QUICKEST POSSIBLE SOLUTION.
337
00:13:53,243 --> 00:13:55,578
NOW I AM OFF
338
00:13:55,662 --> 00:13:57,580
TO A MOST IMPORTANT MEETING.
339
00:13:57,664 --> 00:13:59,290
UPCOMING ELECTIONS, THREE WEEKS.
340
00:13:59,374 --> 00:14:01,626
VOTE GLADHAND!
341
00:14:01,709 --> 00:14:04,587
UH, WE'LL SEE
WHAT HAPPENS.
342
00:14:08,841 --> 00:14:12,637
HEY, LOOKS LIKE
COUNCILMAN GLADHAND'S
DOING
343
00:14:12,720 --> 00:14:14,180
WHAT HE SAID
HE WOULD.
344
00:14:15,682 --> 00:14:18,101
A BOARD?! A LOUSY
PLYWOOD BOARD?!
345
00:14:18,184 --> 00:14:19,435
THAT'S HIS SOLUTION?
346
00:14:19,519 --> 00:14:22,355
UH, YEAH, THE ORDER
CAME RIGHT DOWN
347
00:14:22,438 --> 00:14:23,481
FROM COUNCILMAN
GLADHAND HIMSELF.
348
00:14:23,565 --> 00:14:25,775
IT'S A PRETTY GOOD
BOARD.
349
00:14:25,858 --> 00:14:30,572
COUNCILMAN SAYS
STICK A BOARD ON IT,
THE JOB'S DONE.
350
00:14:30,655 --> 00:14:34,450
WELL, IT'S A LITTLE BIT
OF PROGRESS, I GUESS.
351
00:14:34,534 --> 00:14:35,410
( crash )
352
00:14:35,493 --> 00:14:36,035
Grandpa:
DAGNABBIT!
353
00:14:36,119 --> 00:14:37,745
AGAIN!
354
00:14:40,248 --> 00:14:41,124
( both gasp )
355
00:14:42,625 --> 00:14:45,253
( horns honking )
356
00:14:45,336 --> 00:14:47,630
HEY, THE LIGHTS
JUST WENT OUT!
357
00:14:47,714 --> 00:14:48,798
TRANSFORMER'S DEAD.
358
00:14:48,881 --> 00:14:49,757
THANK YOU,
COUNCILMAN GLADHAND.
359
00:14:49,841 --> 00:14:52,802
Grandpa:
HEY... ( banging )
360
00:14:52,885 --> 00:14:54,220
WELL, FOLKS, HERE I AM AGAIN
361
00:14:54,304 --> 00:14:58,474
CRAWLING OUT OF THIS BIG STUPID
HOLE THAT I DROVE MY CAR INTO.
362
00:14:58,558 --> 00:14:59,434
( people talking angrily )
363
00:14:59,517 --> 00:15:02,854
Green:
WE ALL HAVE THE SAME COMPLAINT.
364
00:15:02,937 --> 00:15:05,231
GLADHAND JUST PROMISES THINGS,
BUT DOESN'T DELIVER.
365
00:15:05,315 --> 00:15:06,858
All:
YEAH!
366
00:15:06,941 --> 00:15:07,483
IF GLADHAND
367
00:15:07,567 --> 00:15:09,152
HAD FIXED THAT POTHOLE
368
00:15:09,235 --> 00:15:11,654
THE OLD MAN WOULDN'T HAVE
DRIVEN HIS CAR INTO IT.
369
00:15:11,738 --> 00:15:15,575
YEAH... WAIT A MINUTE,
WHO YOU CALLING AN OLD MAN?
370
00:15:15,658 --> 00:15:17,827
I KNOW I'M JUST A BUTCHER,
BUT THIS WHOLE SITUATION
371
00:15:17,910 --> 00:15:21,497
IS TURNING INTO A ROTTING,
STINKING PIECE OF BEEF!
372
00:15:21,581 --> 00:15:22,332
All:
YEAH!
373
00:15:22,415 --> 00:15:24,834
WE ALL KNOW AND LOVE
OUR NEIGHBORHOOD
374
00:15:24,917 --> 00:15:26,711
MUCH BETTER THAN GLADHAND DOES.
375
00:15:26,794 --> 00:15:28,671
HE SHOULD FILL UP THIS POTHOLE!
376
00:15:28,755 --> 00:15:30,214
MR. GREEN FOR COUNCILMAN!
377
00:15:30,298 --> 00:15:31,341
All:
YEAH!
378
00:15:31,424 --> 00:15:32,300
WAIT, I'M JUST A BUTCHER.
379
00:15:32,383 --> 00:15:34,552
YOU CAN DO IT, MR. GREEN.
380
00:15:34,636 --> 00:15:37,013
All ( chanting ):
MR. GREEN... MR. GREEN...
381
00:15:37,096 --> 00:15:39,057
OKAY, I'LL DO IT,
I'LL RUN FOR COUNCILMAN.
382
00:15:39,140 --> 00:15:40,224
( cheering )
383
00:15:40,308 --> 00:15:42,518
WILL YOU HELP ME,
ARNOLD?
384
00:15:42,602 --> 00:15:44,228
SURE, MR. GREEN.
385
00:15:50,109 --> 00:15:54,989
SO, UH, WRAPPING UP,
WE HAVE TO, UH, WORK TOGETHER.
386
00:15:55,073 --> 00:15:59,452
SO, MR. MARTY GREEN,
DO YOU THINK YOU CAN
BEAT ME IN THE ELECTION?
387
00:15:59,535 --> 00:16:01,704
WELL, SIR,
I'M GOING TO TRY.
388
00:16:01,788 --> 00:16:04,582
AND ARE YOU GOING TO HELP
THE BUTCHER, LITTLE BOY?
389
00:16:04,666 --> 00:16:06,209
ARNOLD IS
MY CAMPAIGN MANAGER.
390
00:16:06,292 --> 00:16:09,045
( women laugh )
391
00:16:09,128 --> 00:16:11,547
DO YOU HAVE ANY EXPERIENCE,
ARNOLD?
392
00:16:11,631 --> 00:16:14,467
I HELPED MY FRIEND GERALD
GET ELECTED PRESIDENT
OF THE FOURTH GRADE.
393
00:16:14,550 --> 00:16:16,594
IMPRESSIVE.
394
00:16:16,678 --> 00:16:18,805
WELL, MR. GREEN AND
CAMPAIGN MANAGER ARNOLD
395
00:16:18,888 --> 00:16:21,557
I CHALLENGE YOU TO A DEBATE
IN FRONT OF OUR NEIGHBORS.
396
00:16:21,641 --> 00:16:24,560
HOW'S NEXT MONDAY NIGHT?
397
00:16:24,644 --> 00:16:27,730
I'LL BE HAPPY
TO DEBATE YOU, COUNCILMAN.
398
00:16:30,692 --> 00:16:32,985
( no dialogue... )
399
00:16:36,072 --> 00:16:39,784
Green:
AW, THE COUNCILMAN'S WAY AHEAD
OF ME IN THE POLLS, ARNOLD.
400
00:16:39,867 --> 00:16:40,493
DON'T WORRY, MR. GREEN.
401
00:16:40,576 --> 00:16:41,911
THE POLLS CAN CHANGE.
402
00:16:41,994 --> 00:16:44,747
WHEN YOU'RE UP ON THAT
STAGE TOMORROW
403
00:16:44,831 --> 00:16:46,624
JUST SAY HOW YOU
FEEL ABOUT THINGS.
404
00:16:46,708 --> 00:16:49,085
YOU KNOW, BE YOURSELF.
405
00:16:49,168 --> 00:16:55,007
Gladhand:
This election constitutes
a battle of attitudes,
dispositions and perspectives.
406
00:16:55,091 --> 00:16:58,594
THERE HE GOES AGAIN
WITH ALL HIS FANCY WORDS.
407
00:16:58,678 --> 00:17:00,805
Vote Gladhand!
You'll be glad you did.
408
00:17:00,888 --> 00:17:05,268
I CAN'T JUST BE MYSELF UP THERE
IN THAT DEBATE, ARNOLD.
409
00:17:05,351 --> 00:17:07,645
HE'LL EAT ME ALIVE.
410
00:17:07,729 --> 00:17:10,022
I GOT TO COME UP
WITH SOME FANCY WORDS.
411
00:17:10,106 --> 00:17:11,149
I GOT TO
OUT-GLADHAND GLADHAND.
412
00:17:11,232 --> 00:17:14,485
I REALLY DON'T THINK
THAT'S THE BEST WAY TO DO IT.
413
00:17:14,569 --> 00:17:16,487
ARNOLD, I APPRECIATE
YOUR CONCERNS
414
00:17:16,571 --> 00:17:19,198
BUT I'M ABOUT TO
LOSE THIS ELECTION
415
00:17:19,282 --> 00:17:21,826
SO I GOT TO DO
WHAT I THINK IS BEST.
416
00:17:21,909 --> 00:17:24,120
I GOT TO GET
OUT OF HERE.
417
00:17:25,747 --> 00:17:28,458
Woman:
THE NEXT QUESTION IN THE DEBATE
418
00:17:28,541 --> 00:17:32,795
IS "HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE
THE CURRENT CONDITION OF
OUR NEIGHBORHOOD?"
419
00:17:32,879 --> 00:17:35,047
THE CURRENT LIVABILITY
ENVIRONMENT IS SUCH
420
00:17:35,131 --> 00:17:38,009
IN OUR SPECIFIED DISTRICT
THAT THE INHABITANTS THEREOF
421
00:17:38,092 --> 00:17:40,720
ENJOY A STATUS QUO THAT IS
UNWAVERING IN ITS COMFORT
422
00:17:40,803 --> 00:17:42,805
AND FRUITION LEVEL.
423
00:17:42,889 --> 00:17:45,808
I SAY DON'T GO GREEN,
GO RED, WHITE AND BLUE!
424
00:17:45,892 --> 00:17:47,310
( audience cheering )
425
00:17:47,393 --> 00:17:48,478
VOTE GLADHAND!
426
00:17:48,561 --> 00:17:49,812
YOU'LL BE GLAD YOU DID.
427
00:17:49,896 --> 00:17:53,024
MR. GREEN,
SAME QUESTION.
428
00:17:55,401 --> 00:17:59,989
AS A MEMBER OF THE, UM, UH,
CITIZENRY OF THE, UM, UH,
THIS AREA
429
00:18:00,072 --> 00:18:02,492
I THINK WHAT MAKES, UH,
EACH ONE A RESIDENT
430
00:18:02,575 --> 00:18:05,703
WE HAVE TO STATE,
NO, EXCLAIM, UM
431
00:18:05,787 --> 00:18:08,080
IN A LOUD, UH, CA... CA...
CA-PHONY...
432
00:18:08,164 --> 00:18:10,082
WHAT? HE'S NOT
SAYING ANYTHING.
433
00:18:10,166 --> 00:18:13,419
...PARTICULAR SUBJECTS
THAT IMPACT THE LOCALE...
434
00:18:13,503 --> 00:18:15,254
CALLED...
435
00:18:15,338 --> 00:18:15,797
( booing )
436
00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:16,923
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
437
00:18:17,006 --> 00:18:19,759
I TOOK A CHANCE
USING THOSE BIG WORDS
438
00:18:19,842 --> 00:18:22,720
'CAUSE THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT
THE PEOPLE WANTED TO HEAR.
439
00:18:22,804 --> 00:18:24,639
INSTEAD I'M BORING THEM ALL
TO TEARS.
440
00:18:24,722 --> 00:18:26,682
AND I HATE WEARING
THIS THREE-PIECE SUIT!
441
00:18:26,766 --> 00:18:27,892
I'M NOT FOOLING ANYONE.
442
00:18:27,975 --> 00:18:29,936
NO ONE OUT THERE
WANTS TO BE FOOLED.
443
00:18:30,019 --> 00:18:31,521
THEY WANT YOU
TO BE YOURSELF
444
00:18:31,604 --> 00:18:32,897
AND TALK ABOUT
WHAT YOU KNOW.
445
00:18:32,980 --> 00:18:33,773
WHAT DO I KNOW?
I'M A BUTCHER.
446
00:18:33,856 --> 00:18:35,066
YOU KNOW
A LOT OF STUFF.
447
00:18:35,149 --> 00:18:37,068
YOU WORK HARD AND
YOU RUN A BUSINESS.
448
00:18:37,151 --> 00:18:39,237
BEING COUNCILMAN IS
LIKE RUNNING A BUSINESS.
449
00:18:39,320 --> 00:18:43,866
THIS MAY SOUND CRAZY, BUT
IMAGINE IF THE NEIGHBORHOOD
450
00:18:43,950 --> 00:18:45,451
WAS LIKE
A BIG BUTCHER SHOP.
451
00:18:45,535 --> 00:18:46,619
BIG BUTCHER SHOP, HMM?
452
00:18:46,702 --> 00:18:49,372
I COULD TALK LIKE MYSELF,
LIKE A BUTCHER. I LIKE IT!
453
00:18:49,455 --> 00:18:51,707
I'M A BUTCHER WHO'S MAD
AS HECK ABOUT POTHOLES
454
00:18:51,791 --> 00:18:53,209
AND KNOWS ABOUT POT ROAST!
455
00:18:53,292 --> 00:18:54,836
THAT'S GOOD.
456
00:18:54,919 --> 00:18:56,504
Moderator:
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN...
LET'S RESUME.
457
00:18:56,587 --> 00:18:59,423
I BETTER GET OUT THERE.
458
00:18:59,507 --> 00:19:00,633
GOOD LUCK.
459
00:19:00,716 --> 00:19:01,717
THANKS, KID.
460
00:19:01,801 --> 00:19:02,969
YOU'RE A GOOD EGG.
461
00:19:03,052 --> 00:19:04,095
LET ME ASK YOU...
WHY ARE YOU SPENDING
462
00:19:04,178 --> 00:19:06,097
SO MUCH TIME TRYING TO
GET ME ELECTED?
463
00:19:06,180 --> 00:19:10,184
BECAUSE I LOVE THIS NEIGHBORHOOD
AS MUCH AS YOU DO.
464
00:19:11,102 --> 00:19:12,937
I REALIZE I WAS TRYING TO USE
465
00:19:13,020 --> 00:19:14,230
BIG, FANCY WORDS BEFORE
466
00:19:14,313 --> 00:19:16,482
BUT THEY DIDN'T REALLY
MEAN ANYTHING.
467
00:19:16,566 --> 00:19:17,567
I'M YOUR BUTCHER.
468
00:19:17,650 --> 00:19:20,736
BUT I ALSO WANT TO BE
YOUR COUNCILMAN.
469
00:19:20,820 --> 00:19:22,363
IF YOU ELECT ME,
I WILL LISTEN TO EVERYONE
470
00:19:22,446 --> 00:19:26,909
JUST LIKE I PAY SPECIAL
ATTENTION TO EACH PIECE
OF POULTRY
471
00:19:26,993 --> 00:19:29,745
WHEN I PLUCK IT,
MARINATE IT AND COOK IT.
472
00:19:29,829 --> 00:19:31,706
( audience murmurs )
473
00:19:31,789 --> 00:19:32,498
COUNCILMAN GLADHAND
474
00:19:32,582 --> 00:19:34,083
HOW WILL YOU DEAL
475
00:19:34,167 --> 00:19:35,543
WITH THE POTHOLE PROBLEMS
476
00:19:35,626 --> 00:19:36,127
IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD?
477
00:19:36,210 --> 00:19:38,713
THE, UH... BETTERMENT
478
00:19:38,796 --> 00:19:39,338
OF OUR
NEIGHBORHOOD
479
00:19:39,422 --> 00:19:41,132
DEPENDS ON A CONSOLIDATED
480
00:19:41,215 --> 00:19:43,843
JOINT EFFORT
BY ALL PEOPLES INVOLVED.
481
00:19:43,926 --> 00:19:45,970
WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?!
482
00:19:46,053 --> 00:19:48,806
( crowd muttering angrily )
483
00:19:48,890 --> 00:19:51,601
MR. GREEN, SAME QUESTION.
484
00:19:51,684 --> 00:19:54,604
OUR NEIGHBORHOOD IS LIKE
A PRIME CUT OF MEAT:
IT'S SPECIAL.
485
00:19:54,687 --> 00:19:59,483
YOU CAN'T JUST THROW A PRIME CUT
ON A GRILL AND FORGET ABOUT IT
486
00:19:59,567 --> 00:20:03,029
AND YOU CAN'T JUST FORGET ABOUT
THE PROBLEMS OF OUR NEIGHBORHOOD
487
00:20:03,112 --> 00:20:09,535
IF ELECTED, I'LL MAKE SURE THAT
ALL THE POTHOLES ARE FILLED.
488
00:20:09,619 --> 00:20:11,579
I CARE ABOUT MY NEIGHBORHOOD.
489
00:20:11,662 --> 00:20:14,290
IT'S A PRIME CUT OF A PLACE!
490
00:20:14,373 --> 00:20:17,877
( chanting ):
MR. GREEN... MR. GREEN...
491
00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:19,545
( cheering )
492
00:20:19,629 --> 00:20:21,422
HE'S JUST A BUTCHER!
493
00:20:21,505 --> 00:20:24,550
HE'S TALKING ABOUT MEAT!
494
00:20:24,634 --> 00:20:25,968
( cheering... )
495
00:20:26,052 --> 00:20:29,931
( chanting ):
MR. GREEN... MR. GREEN...
496
00:20:30,014 --> 00:20:32,224
Green:
LET'S NOT OVERCOOK
THE IMPORTANT ISSUES.
497
00:20:32,308 --> 00:20:35,394
I DON'T SELL HAMBURGER
AND CALL IT FILET MIGNON
498
00:20:35,478 --> 00:20:37,605
AND AS A COUNCILMAN
499
00:20:37,688 --> 00:20:41,525
I WON'T THROW A BOARD OVER
A POTHOLE AND CALL IT FIXED!
500
00:20:41,609 --> 00:20:42,234
( cheering )
501
00:20:42,318 --> 00:20:44,987
THANK YOU!
502
00:20:48,824 --> 00:20:50,826
HEY, ARNOLD!
503
00:20:50,910 --> 00:20:53,162
I RESPECT
THE FINE WORK
THAT YOU DID
504
00:20:53,245 --> 00:20:54,538
AS MR. GREEN'S
CAMPAIGN MANAGER
505
00:20:54,622 --> 00:20:59,460
AND SO I THOUGHT THAT I WOULD
PROPOSE THAT WE MAKE A PACT.
506
00:20:59,543 --> 00:21:00,836
A PACT?
507
00:21:00,920 --> 00:21:02,505
I WANT MR. GREEN
TO QUIT THE RACE.
508
00:21:02,588 --> 00:21:04,590
IF HE DOES, I'LL FIX THE POTHOLE
IN FRONT OF HIS SHOP
509
00:21:04,674 --> 00:21:09,512
AND I'LL THROW A BIG CATERED
PARTY FOR YOUR WHOLE BLOCK.
510
00:21:09,595 --> 00:21:12,181
AND WHAT ABOUT THE POTHOLES IN
THE REST OF THE NEIGHBORHOOD?
511
00:21:12,264 --> 00:21:16,227
I'LL FORM A COMMITTEE TO STUDY
THE ISSUE EX POST FACTO.
512
00:21:16,310 --> 00:21:18,020
MR. GREEN'S
NOT GOING TO QUIT.
513
00:21:18,104 --> 00:21:18,896
HE'S A GOOD, HONEST GUY
514
00:21:18,980 --> 00:21:21,732
WHO WANTS
A FAIR ELECTION.
515
00:21:21,816 --> 00:21:23,025
I HAVE TO GO.
GOOD LUCK.
516
00:21:23,109 --> 00:21:25,695
ARNOLD, TRY TO GET GREEN
TO QUIT, PLEASE?
517
00:21:25,778 --> 00:21:27,613
DO YOU LIKE BALLOONS?
518
00:21:27,697 --> 00:21:28,739
OH-HO, I'VE GOT BALLOONS.
519
00:21:28,823 --> 00:21:29,699
PLEASE, KID.
520
00:21:29,782 --> 00:21:33,077
PLEASE!
521
00:21:45,131 --> 00:21:48,092
( phone ringing... )
522
00:21:48,175 --> 00:21:53,597
People:
SHH... QUIET... SHH...!
523
00:21:55,683 --> 00:21:56,809
HELLO?
524
00:21:56,892 --> 00:21:58,060
REALLY?
525
00:21:58,144 --> 00:21:59,311
WELL, THANKS.
526
00:21:59,395 --> 00:22:02,732
OH, NO, I DON'T LIKE
THE SOUND OF THAT.
527
00:22:02,815 --> 00:22:03,691
YOU LOST! OH, MERCY!
528
00:22:03,774 --> 00:22:05,151
ACTUALLY, EVERYBODY...
529
00:22:06,318 --> 00:22:08,112
I WON!
530
00:22:08,195 --> 00:22:10,322
( cheering... )
531
00:22:10,406 --> 00:22:12,783
I WANT TO THANK YOU ALL
FOR SUPPORTING ME
532
00:22:12,867 --> 00:22:14,869
AND ESPECIALLY ARNOLD
533
00:22:14,952 --> 00:22:16,954
WHO HELPED ME
FROM DAY ONE
534
00:22:17,038 --> 00:22:19,999
AND IS A REALLY GOOD FRIEND
AND A GOOD GUY.
535
00:22:20,082 --> 00:22:22,460
( chanting ):
ARNOLD... ARNOLD...
536
00:22:22,543 --> 00:22:23,294
( cheering )
537
00:22:23,377 --> 00:22:26,672
CONGRATULATIONS,
COUNCILMAN GREEN.
538
00:22:26,756 --> 00:22:27,965
( cheering )
539
00:22:28,049 --> 00:22:29,508
HEY, I USED
A NEW MARINADE
ON THE SHISH KEBAB.
540
00:22:29,592 --> 00:22:31,343
WANT TO TRY IT?
541
00:22:31,427 --> 00:22:32,636
I WOULD, BUT I DON'T
TRUST POLITICIANS.
542
00:22:32,720 --> 00:22:34,764
( laughs )
543
00:22:34,847 --> 00:22:37,516
( tearfully ):
I LOST...
544
00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:40,186
LORRAINE? LORRAINE?!
545
00:22:41,937 --> 00:22:42,480
( crying )
546
00:22:42,563 --> 00:22:43,856
LORRAINE?
547
00:22:43,939 --> 00:22:46,776
( crying )
548
00:22:46,859 --> 00:22:48,069
AAH...!
549
00:22:51,113 --> 00:22:54,116
[Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
550
00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:56,702
and NICKELODEON
39864
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